Donkey Kong Country (1997–2000): Season 1, Episode 7 - Kong for a Day - full transcript

♪

♪ Huh, ha ♪ Huh,
ha ♪ Donkey Kong ♪ Hey oh

♪ Look out down
below ♪ Here he comes,

banana slamma ♪

♪

♪ Donkey Kong

♪ Huh, ha ♪ Huh,
ha ♪ Donkey Kong

♪

♪ Huh, ha ♪ Huh,
ha ♪ Donkey Kong ♪ Hey oh

♪ Look out down
below ♪ Here he comes,

banana slamma ♪



♪ Kongo Bongo"s hero ♪

♪ Hey oh ♪ Donkey Kong

♪ Let"s go, let's go ♪

♪ Here he comes, banana slamma ♪

♪

[Laughing]

[Cheering]

I"m one smooth simian!

Check me out!

We"re two... Uh,
two... Two idiots.

Hey, everybody!

Now for a barrel roll!

Hey!

I"m talking here!



Windbag.

[Chuckling]

[Grumbling]

Knock it off!

Huh?

What?

That"s better.

Now, this being Kongo Bongo"s

annual ceasefire, our annual

love fest, let"s have a few

words from the future ruler of

Kongo Bongo, Donkey Kong!

Ruler schmuler.

Not for long!

Come on!

Say something, DK!

[Mumbling]

What... Right on, dude!

What did he say?

"Peace on Earth and
be nice to the newts!"

[Laughing]

What a farce!

What a sorry excuse for a ruler!

Ha ha, you"re jealous... green!

[Laughing]

"Cause you don't have a chance

at being the future ruler!

Maybe not.

However, I am the future owner

of Bluster Barrelworks.

It seems to me you"re the only

baboon without a future in front

of your name.

Grr!

I do have a future!

I do, I do!

Take a chill pill, Diddy!

I got no future, either.

Do I look bummed?

Not.

Besides, you got a future.

Future sidekick
and best little buddy!

Thanks, DK.

But that"s all I'll ever be...

Sidekick, second banana.

The best part about this day

of peace is knowing how hard it

is for you to squelch yourself,
K. Rool.

Not for long,
you decrepit simian!

Ah, give it up, K. Rool.

You"ll never win.

Not with Donkey Kong, the

biggest, strongest ape in all of

Kongo Bongo as our future ruler!

It isn"t over until it's over.

At least this
conversation"s over.

Why are you consorting
with the enemy?

So I can launch
a surprise attack!

Surprise attack?

Why didn"t I know about this?

Because it wouldn"t be a

surprise, you numbskull!

Now, we"ll make them think we

are participating
in the ceasefire.

But instead,
we are going to be sneaky.

Clever.

You?

Yes, you ninny!

I"m going to make sure Donkey

Kong never rules!

CANDY: Hey, DK!

Candy!

Oh, goodie.

Time to break out my super

secret weapon of destruction!

A banana peel?

Just watch.

Whoa!

Oof!

Ooh, Donkey Kong!

What?

What did I do?

Whose banana peel is that?

What banana peel?

The one that was
left on the ground.

The one that I slipped on!

The one on your head,
you baboon!

Our date"s off.

Don"t call me,
don't drop by... ever!

Ever?

That"s a long time!

Yeesh.

[Laughing]

Phase one of Operation Crush

Kong is a success!

Operation Crush Kong?

I get everyone in Kongo Bongo

furious with Donkey Kong.

They all turn
their backs on him.

Cranky is forced to name a new

future ruler.

With Donkey Kong, the biggest,

strongest ape, out of the

picture, invasion is a cinch!

Then the truly deserving future

ruler steps in!

Who?

Who"s that?

Me, you big tub of lizard lard!

Hmm.

♪

Having a good ceasefire, DK?

No.

My girlfriend blasted me.

DK, DK, DK!

You"re a prize catch.

She"ll come around.

You think so?

Of course!

You"re a nice guy, you're the

strongest ape on Kongo Bongo.

You"re the future ruler!

[Laughing]

Right?

So what?

You need to get
your mind off of her.

Nothing can get my
mind off of Candy.

What about surfing, hmm?

Cool water, the gentle rocking

of the waves?

Hmm?

Wait!

Yes?

I"ll go surfing!

Great idea.

Wish I"d thought of that.

Yeah, it is a good idea!

DK"s back and outta here!

[Laughing]

This is too easy.

Just be yourself, Donkey Kong!

[Laughing]

What do you say, Funky?

I don"t know, man.

It"s my best board.

I"ll take care of it.

That board is my soul mate,
dude.

We"ve bonded.

So, bring it back alive.

♪

Last one in"s an orangutan!

Hurry!

What do we do?

Steal it!

Oh, stealing?

That"s bad.

Of course it"s bad!

We are bad, you lunkhead!

Now, grab the thing and let"s

get out of here!

Uh, not till you say sorry

for calling me lunkhead.

You"re so right.

I don"t know what came over me.

Now, grab the board,
smarty-pants!

Refreshing!

[Gasping]

Oh, no!

Funky"s soul mate!

[Snoring]

Funky?

Funky!

Wake up, man!

[Yawning]

What?

Wake up!

Huh?

I got bad news...
Where"s my board?

Gone.

Gone?!

You promised me, dude!

You gave me your word, man!

It wasn"t my fault!

Somebody filched it!

I"m sorry.

Bag the excuses, DK.

Cop to it, man!

It wasn"t my fault!

How are you going to be

future ruler, dude, if you can"t

even tell the truth
when you wipe out?

What a lousy day.

Everyone in Kongo
Bongo is steamed at me.

First Candy, now Funky.

Snap out of it, DK.

We"re still hanging with ya.

Yeah, lighten up!

Remember, I"m your sidekick,

your second in command,
bosom buddy!

Me, too!

Thanks.

Hey, I gotta split, you two.

I"ll walk the rest of the way

with my buddy, Dix.

Catch ya later, Diddy!

See you around, Dids!

Come on, DK.

♪

Well, Crusher, let"s hear it.

Uh-huh.

What?

Your imitation!

Oh, oh, all right.

Uh, here goes.

[Imitating K. Rool]: Lunkhead!

Once I have the coconut...

Not me, you ninny!

Donkey Kong"s!

Oh, sorry.

I thought you meant you,
Your Mightiness.

Just do his voice!

[Clearing throat]

[Imitating DK]: Bananas,
bananas, bananas.

I always got
bananas on the brain.

Oh, perfect!

Now for phase three: alienate

his closest friends and
second in command.

Two birds with one stone.

[Laughing]

I"m devilish!

[Laughing]

[Sighing]

It"s a swell place, huh?

Yeah,
I"ll have to bring Diddy here!

I used to hang
here with my girl.

But that"s history.

Ah, you"ll hook up with somebody,
DK.

[Laughing]

[Imitating DK]: Hey,
what about you, Dixie?

Little Dixie Doodle.

You are fine.

Huh?

Hey!

What is up with you?

Huh?

I didn"t say anything!

Dogging your best friend!

Humph!

[Imitating DK]: Come on.

Put a lip lock on me, Dixie.

That chump chimp
Diddy will never know.

You lousy, double-crossing,
two-timing...

Wait till Diddy
gets a load of this!

What?

What did I say?

[Imitating DK]: Oh, sure.

Go tell Diddy.

That second banana,
that half pint.

Yeah, well, I"m gonna tell him.

I"m gonna tell him what a lousy

friend you are!

How are you going to be future

ruler if you can"t
even be trusted?

What did I do, Dixie?

I was just sitting here!

Some pal you turned out to be!

Just because you"re my best

buddy, doesn"t mean you got dibs

on my girl!

How are you going to be future

ruler if you can"t
even be trusted?

I don"t want your girl, I

never wanted your girl!

You can have her.

Ooh, are you dissing Dixie?

Ah!

This friendship"s moving like

this elevator... down!

Way down!

I don"t get it.

Candy, then Funky, then Dixie

and now Diddy!

[Sighing]

[Snoring]

He"s asleep.

Now for the final phase of

Operation Crush Kong.

Kritters!

No holds barred.

Do as much damage
as physically possible.

Ready?

Aim... Ooh, I love a smorgasbord.

Let me at it!

Fire!

[Munching]

And now for the
incriminating evidence.

All fingers will point
to Donkey Kong.

Mission accomplished.

Kritters, ready!

March!

Hee, huh, hee, huh.

Whatcha got, huh, huh.

[Snoring]

Huh?

What?

My pad!

Destroyed!

Who would do a thing like that?

Who... No.

It"s not possible.

Donkey Kong!

I got a bad feeling about this.

Cranky sounded really mad.

I"m not talking to you.

But you just did!

Well, I"m not anymore.

Yikes!

What happened to Cranky"s place?

Hey, Cranky, you okay?

What happened?

Like you don"t know.

What?

Don"t play dumb.

I"ve got the evidence right

here, you bumbling baboon!

A banana skin!

Pretty obvious who did it, DK.

That"s not mine!

Oh, sure it isn"t.

Look, there"s still a piece

of banana inside.

I"d never leave a banana bit.

Can I have it?

Donkey Kong!

This is it!

I"ve got no choice but to strip

you of your title
of future ruler!

What?

You can"t do that!

I found the coconut!

My face is on it!

Diddy?

DIDDY: Yes!

All right!

It"s me, me, me, me!

I have a future!

[Laughing]

I am the future ruler!

[Laughing]

CRANKY: You see?

The coconut has spoken.

I"m giving you a one-way ticket

to the White Mountains.

No return.

No more second banana for me!

I"m the King of the Kong!

The Simian Don Juan!

[Laughing]

The White Mountains.

Nothing but snow and
glaciers and... and...

And no bananas.

CRANKY: Hey, Donkey Kong!

Yeah?

Happy trails!

And don"t come back!

♪

I got my orders, dude.

Dump you off in
the White Mountains.

Hang on!

DK: There"s no bananas there,

is there, Funky?

There"s nothing there, man.

Nothing but snow.

There they are, dude!

Coming in for a drop!

Whoa!

Now for a barrel roll!

Ha ha!

Aah!

♪

♪ I don"t know what's
happening to me ♪

♪ I"m getting all the blame

for things I didn"t do ♪

♪ Can anybody tell me just what

I did wrong? ♪

♪ I"m all alone and
I'm so confused ♪

♪ I don"t know what everyone

wants me to be ♪

♪ I only know just
how to be me ♪

♪ Once I was the
ape of the hour ♪

♪ They think I"m a coward ♪

♪ An absolute zero
♪ I"m nobody's hero ♪

♪ An absolute zero

♪ I"m nobody's hero ♪

♪ I"m nobody's hero ♪

The plan has gone smoothly!

That simple simian, Donkey Kong,

has been eradicated!

Thanks to our
military expertise!

Uh, I mean thanks to your plan.

Now it"s time for
one final assault.

The final takeover!

We"re going to raid
Bluster Barrelworks!

But why the barrelworks?

Why not go for the
coconut right away?

[Chuckling]

The coconut will
come in good time.

This is phase four
of our operation.

You will raid the barrelworks

and fill the ammunition stores

with exploding bands.

With the ammo and my army, the

apes will be defenceless!

Especially with that pipsqueak

"Didi" at the helm.

[Laughing maniacally]

CRANKY: So, that spineless

salamander is marching
on the barrelworks?

Hmm.

Time for our leader to lead!

[Laughing]

Blast!

What was I thinking putting

Diddy"s face in the coconut?

I flew off the handle.

I think I might have been a

little hard on DK.

Pretty cool you being named

future ruler, Dids.

You"re the big dude!

Thanks.

[Laughing]

So, can I get a big smooch

from the big dude?

You mean me?

Sure!

Hey!

Cut it out!

Bad timing, Cranky.

K. Rool is marching on the

barrelworks and you"ve got to

get over there!

Why me?

"Cause you're the future

ruler of Kongo Bongo!

As protector of Kongo Bongo,

you"re expected to risk your

life at a moment"s notice!

My life?

♪

♪ What do you
expect from someone ♪

♪ Who has never ever ever

been the king before? ♪

♪ Never had to save the day

♪ Now I"ve no idea
what's in store ♪

♪ Second banana"s what I am ♪

♪ I never thought this job would

be full of so much misery ♪

♪ Second banana"s what I know ♪

♪ I"m just not cut
out to be the hero ♪

♪ Maybe it"s a twist of fate ♪

♪ But I could never recreate

the ape he was ♪

♪ I"m the tutti to his fruitti ♪

♪ And the peach to his fuzz

♪ Second banana"s what I am ♪

♪ We made such a perfect team

♪ Now I"m all alone it seems ♪

♪ Second banana"s what I know ♪

♪ I"m just not cut
out to be the hero ♪

♪ The hero,
the hero ♪ The hero, the hero

♪ The hero [Birds cawing]

Hello, sweet Candy!

Now that DK is out of the

picture, how about a date?

Forget it, Bluster.

What?

Klump!

This is a raid!

A raid?

Oh,
Mommy won"t go for this at all!

Forget your mommy, you nitwit!

Ready, aim, fire!

[Buzzing]

No!

I sure wish DK was here.

It pains me to admit it,
but so do I.

How"s that for a
barrel of laughs?

[Laughing]

Hold it right there,
you pond gacks!

As the future ruler of Kongo

Bongo, I order you to scram!

Ha ha!

Look who"s here to save the day.

It"s the half pint ape.

Open fire!

Ee, ow!

I"m not edible, I'm not edible!

Yikes, yikes!

[Screaming]

What"s up now?

Help, Cranky!

Go get DK!

Get DK!

Well, I do miss the big lug.

Bananas.

I need bananas!

[Gasping]

Bananas!

Ooh, let me at "em!

Ooh!

Oh no!

[Crashing]

A banana mirage.

Life is so unfair.

Ah,
quit feeling sorry for yourself.

There"s trouble brewing at the

barrel factory.

Diddy will take care of it.

The pipsqueak
is in over his head.

You"re the only one
who can do the job!

But I"m weak, I can't.

I haven"t had any
bananas all day!

Well... Bananas!

I couldn"t let you go without

packing you a couple of bananas

for the road.

Let me at "em!

Isn"t someone going to save us?

Fat chance.

Donkey Kong, where are you?

Right here, little buddy.

Donkey Kong?

ALL: Donkey Kong!

[Growling]

Easy there, big fella!

[Chuckling]

Boo.

Aah!

Run for your life!

Each lizard for himself!

[Laughing]

Atta boy, DK!

[Laughing]

What a hero!

CANDY: You"re the best, DK!

[Cheering]

CRANKY: It"s not pretty,
but it"s right.

Oh, I"m glad it's you back in

there and not me, DK.

Besides,
I"m really a good second banana.

Well, the top banana wouldn"t

be top banana without
his second banana.

See, you gotta have the first

banana and then
the second banana.

Hey, easy, DK.

That"s what got you into trouble

to start with.

You can take the
ape out of the jungle...

ALL: But you can"t take the

jungle out of the ape!

[All laughing]

♪