Donkey Kong Country (1997–2000): Season 1, Episode 18 - Cranky's Tickle Tonic - full transcript
When Eddie the Mean Old Yeti keeps all the Kongo Bongoians awake at nights with his relentless "club banging";Cranky creates a Tickle Tonic to cheer him up. Unfortunately;while Cranky goes on a mission to deliver it;Donkey Kong and Diddy accidentally cast a spell on the Crystal Coconut;enabling the Coconut to "float" ...eventually floating right into King K. Rool's hands!
♪ Huh, ha ♪ Huh,
ha ♪ Donkey Kong ♪ Hey oh
♪ Look out down
below ♪ Here he comes,
banana slamma ♪
♪
♪ Donkey Kong
♪ Huh, ha ♪ Huh,
ha ♪ Donkey Kong
♪
♪ Huh, ha ♪ Huh,
ha ♪ Donkey Kong ♪ Hey oh
♪ Look out down
below ♪ Here he comes,
banana slamma ♪
♪ Kongo Bongo"s hero ♪
♪ Hey oh ♪ Donkey Kong
♪ Let"s go, let's go ♪
♪ Here he comes, banana slamma ♪
♪
Little Warrior to Big Warrior,
come in!
Over.
DK: I can hear you loud and
clear, little buddy!
Not "little buddy"!
Little Warrior!
If you"re going to play with
banana phones, you"ve got to
talk in secret agent code, DK!
Uh, I mean, Big Warrior.
Oh, yeah!
Okay, okay.
Little Warrior... [Chuckling]
This is fun!
No, it"s serious!
We"re gorilla agents on a top
secret mission, sent in to the
deepest, darkest, most dangerous
part of the jungle!
Really?
Yes, there"s no telling what
kind of uncivilized,
pea-brained gargantuan beasts
could be lurking out there!
Why we gonna
steal the banana toy?
It"s not a toy!
Any military genius can see it"s
really a superior eavesdropping
device, used to secure delicate
information from the enemy.
Looks like a toy to me.
Well, it"s not!
It"s a secret spy device.
I"ll need to get my hands on it
if I"m gonna get back in King K.
Rool"s good books.
Hush, now.
Little fella"s coming this way.
See anything, Big Warrior?
Not yet, Little... Wait.
I hear something in the bushes.
Me, too!
It"s right in front of me!
[Screaming]
Got you!
[Laughing]
Oh!
Look at this!
What do you think it is?
I don"t know.
Maybe it dropped out of an alien
spaceship or something.
Betcha it"s got magical powers.
You think so?
Hey!
My banana phone... it"s gone!
[Tires squealing]
Oh, those no good,
dirty, rotten, low-down,
yellow-bellied, deep in slime
sucking salamanders!
Why would they
steal a banana phone?
They probably stole it so
they could spy on us.
Listen in on everything we say.
Then let"s give them
something to really listen to!
Oh,
you mean like a practical joke?
[Laughing]
Yeah!
Let"s radio them, then hang up!
[Laughing]
No, that"s not going to teach
them a lesson.
But I know what will!
You"re late!
Sorry, King K. Rool, sorry.
But we were detained!
For a good reason.
There is no good
reason for tardiness.
Whoa!
What is this?
It"s an eavesdropping device,
sir.
A bug.
I"m not interested in bugs,
I"m interested in power.
Supreme power, unlimited power
that will make me... Powerful.
DIDDY: Hey, DK, what should
we do with this
shiny new amulet?
DK: You mean the one that is
even more magical
than the Crystal Coconut?
[Gasping]
More magical than
the Crystal Coconut?
DIDDY: Oh where,
oh where should we put it?
DK: Maybe we should hide it
some place like the Forbidden
Forest of Kongo Bongo?
No one will find it.
You mean the lizards?
DK: Yeah!
King K. Rool and his cronies.
[Gasping]
Cronies?
What"s a crony?
Oh, it"s a derogatory term
used to describe heathen
henchmen like ourselves who
reside in the lowest
level of authority.
Wait, you two room spun idiots,
be quiet!
I"m trying to eavesdrop!
DK: No one can find out we"re
hiding this magical mysterious
amulet in the Forbidden Forest.
Klump,
Krusha... to the Forbidden Forest!
Immediately!
I want that power source!
[Laughing]
Oh, what a great practical joke!
[Laughing]
Wait till Cranky hears this one!
How many times have I told
you not to play practical jokes?
We were just having some fun.
Every ape with a brain knows
that"s the Amulet
of Bug a Boogie!
Huh?
It"s nothing but pure evil!
We"re all in danger now!
What should we do?
You have to bring it
some place no one will ever go!
Go to the Forbidden Forest and
hide it in the Well of Woes.
Whoa!
No way am I going to the
Forbidden Forest of Kongo Bongo!
You have to!
The fate of Kongo
Bongo relies on it!
I don"t believe it!
You"re scared!
Am not.
I"m just looking out for you,
little buddy.
Wouldn"t want you to get eaten
by a bog monster.
[Laughing]
A bog monster?
Will you two quit your
goofing around and scat?
There"s no telling what kind of
evil has already been unleashed!
Now go!
And hurry!
[Laughing]
Those knuckleheads!
That"ll teach them a lesson and
keep them out of
my fur for a while.
♪
♪ If you ask me mother she"ll
say I"s not so bad ♪
♪ But when I left the house
I took everything she had ♪
♪ I took her silver and her gold
and scuffed her wedding band ♪
♪ I even took her aprons and her
copper pots and pans ♪
♪ Lyin", loot and stealin' is
the reason I"m a pirate ♪
♪ Ransack and
pillaging ♪ Don"t knock it
till ya try it ♪
♪ Plundering and pilfering
♪ Make up a healthy diet ♪ Arr,
look at me!
♪ I"m doin' the Booty Boogie ♪
♪ No treasure is too big
♪ I scarfed the
peaks of Kilimanjaro ♪
♪ As well as raid a tomb
♪ I steal the mummy
from a Pharaoh ♪
♪ I"ve swiped the Crown Jewels
and Merlin"s crystal ball ♪
♪ But the Crystal Coconut is the
daddy of "em all ♪
♪ If you want a job with all the
riches you can stand ♪
♪ And all of the security of a
great pension plan ♪
♪ Arr, then come aboard!
♪ Lyin", loot and stealin' is
the reason we are pirates ♪
♪ Ransack and
pillaging ♪ Don"t knock it
till ya try it ♪
♪ Plundering and pilfering
♪ Make up a healthy diet ♪ Arr,
look at us
♪ We"re doin' the Booty Boogie ♪
♪ Arr, from sea to sea
♪ We"re doin' the Booty Boogie ♪
Ha ha!
What a nice song.
Mais oui.
Hip, hup, hip, hup!
Company halt!
Krusha?
Krusha!
Klump... Oh, Krusha!
Klump!
Where"s the magic amulet?
Haven"t you found
Donkey Kong yet?
Uh, almost, sir.
"Almost"?
As in I"m almost ready to
barbeque your sorry carcass?
Uh, no.
Almost as in somewhere between
not really and sort of-kind of.
Don"t tell me you're lost!
Oh, negative, sir.
My keen sense of sight, smell
and direction
have yet to fail me.
Hip, hup, hip, hup!
Hip, hup... Hip,
hup, what ya got?
A general"s brain
can't hold a thought.
[Twig snapping]
Aah!
DK"s a scaredy cat!
DK"s a... Stop that!
I am not.
I know, I"m just funning you.
There"s nothing
to be scared... Roar!
Aah!
[Laughing]
It was me, ya goof!
Roar!
That was you?
Of course!
Who else?
Now, quit clowning.
I just want to find this Well of
Woe and get out of here.
Me too!
[Laughing]
That"ll teach 'em.
Teach who what?
[Laughing]
Teach DK and Diddy that
practical jokes aren"t fun!
Sounds fly!
Label the scene for me,
ancient relic dude.
DK and Diddy found this crazy
gadget, so I told him it was a
magical amulet with evil powers!
Then I sent them on a wild goose
chase to the Forbidden Forest to
get rid of it, but the place I
sent them to doesn"t even exist!
Whoa!
Negative karma, fossil man!
What are you talking about?
Zen law, dude!
What goes around, comes around.
You"d better flex a move to
correct or I"m betting
you are regretting.
[Laughing]
Don"t be silly.
It"s just a practical joke.
[Laughing]
CRANKY: Practical joke!
[Laughing]
Hmm, a practical joke?
I"m duped!
And what"s more, I've got Klump
and Krusha in the Forbidden
Forest running after an amulet
that"s worthless when all this
time I could have been stealing
the Crystal Coconut in Donkey
Kong"s absence!
[Gasping]
The Crystal Coconut!
[Static buzzing]
Krusha!
Abort the mission and come back
to headquarters immediately!
I can"t.
Why not?!
Something bad happened.
Argh!
Then find Klump and tell him to
get his leathery hide back here
immediately!
Klump!
You don"t have to shout.
Klump?!
[Chuckling nervously]
Oh, hello there, sir.
Everything,
um... under control here.
If I recall, my villain
tutorial"s lesson 109 states,
"When all else fails, implement
and execute heinous diabolical
plan yourself!"
[Laughing]
Hey, how did you fit these
little pirate dudes
in the Zen gem?
Pirates?
What?
Oh, no!
They"re on the island!
I"ve got to warn Donkey Kong!
Far out.
Now the joke"s on you.
Karmic kickback!
[Laughing]
Just watch the coconut,
will you?
Whoa!
I"m sensing some
really negative vibes.
Whoa!
Jump back, Jack!
Arr, I be Skurvy, not Jack.
And I come in the name of me
great-great-great-grand-pappy to
claim me birthright...
The Crystal Coconut.
I gotta tell you dudes, you
are riding some
serious negative waves.
But you"re in luck... I have
cosmic jurisdiction
to assign mantras.
But before I can do that, you
dudes will need a major cosmic
cleansing and total clearing of
the chakras.
[Muffled]: No offence, but I
think you dudes
are missing the point.
Aye, but you be missing more
than that, mate.
[Laughing]
[Twig snapping]
Did you hear that, Diddy?
Little bud?
Where are you?
Aah!
The bog monster!
Whoa!
No!
Go away!
DIDDY: Cut it out, will ya?
[Laughing]
There"s no such
thing as bog monsters!
Yes, there is!
I saw one.
When I was just a little monkey,
Cranky always warned me not to
go into the Forbidden Forest.
You must have imagined it, DK.
No, I didn"t!
I know what I saw.
♪
♪ In the Forbidden Forest lurks
a monster and you"ll see ♪
♪ How my childhood curiosity
got the best of me ♪
♪ With crusty skin
and giant claws ♪
♪ And dripping fangs
and beady eyes ♪
♪ His arms surround you
♪ Feels like drowning
in mud pies ♪
♪ The Big Bog Monster
is coming after you ♪
♪ His terrifying face will make
you scream until you"re blue ♪
♪ His breath was awfully stinky,
it could knock over a rhino ♪
♪ His hair was full of maggots
♪ And his ears dripped
something yellow ♪
♪ I thought to myself,
"What could it be?" ♪
♪ His eyes were red
from what I could see ♪
♪ His arms were
thicker than a tree ♪
♪ It scared the
bananas out of me ♪
♪ The Big Bog Monster
is coming after you ♪
♪ His terrifying face will make
you scream until you"re blue ♪
♪ The Big Bog Monster
is coming after you ♪
♪ You"d better run for cover ♪
♪ If he catches you,
you"re through ♪
♪ The Big Bog Monster
is coming after you ♪
Sharp teeth, beady eyes...
♪ The Big Bog Monster
is coming after you ♪
[Screaming]
[Laughing]
DK is a scaredy cat!
DK is a... It could
have been the bog
monster.
No, it couldn"t because
there"s nothing in this forest
but you and me.
[Both screaming]
DK, back to the cabin, pronto!
But we haven"t found
the Well of Woe yet.
There is no Well of Woe,
you knucklehead.
I made it up to teach you two
goons a lesson!
BOTH: A practical joke?
You mean,
the amulet isn"t even evil?
It"s junk!
Never mind that!
Skurvy and his henchmen
are on the island!
You gotta hurry before... Oh, no!
Cranky, what"s wrong?
The Crystal Coconut!
Someone must be messing with it!
It can only be... Skurvy!
[Panting]
Hold it right there, soldiers!
I demand you hand over that, um,
that magical thing-a-ma-jiggy!
Give it to him.
It"s worthless anyway.
Okay, here you go.
We"re leaving now.
We don"t want to be eaten by the
bog monster.
Did you see that?
I am a military genius!
What do you say, Krusha?
What"s a bog monster?
Oh, it"s a big, ugly, hairy
beast that eats
anything in sight...
[Gasping]
Don"t worry, I'm here!
The Crystal Coconut
is... [Gasping]
Gone!
FUNKY: Too late, hero dudes!
The scum dudes with bad karma
already took it!
But if Skurvy has it, then
he"s probably on his ship
getting ready to set sail!
And if he"s got the Crystal
Coconut, then he"s got... Cranky!
We"ve got to bust a move, DK!
Funky"s plane!
[Engine whirring]
BOTH: Whoa!
Wah!
Aah!
Copasetic, dude.
What the... Where am I?
Hey,
what"s all my stuff doing here?
Kutlass, Green Kroc!
Load the rest of the booty and
prepare to set sail!
Skurvy... he"s got
the Crystal Coconut!
Donkey Kong better get here soon
or I"m stuck with these goons.
All right,
you knuckle-dragging throwbacks,
hand over the Coconut!
FUNKY: Too late,
villain dude number two.
Pirate villain dude number one
beat you to it.
Of all the low-down, dirty,
rotten, yellow-bellied, slime
sucking tricks!
That was my idea.
[Sighing]
This negative stuff is
bumming me out big time.
Well, I"ll just steal it back.
After all, there"s nothing
Skurvy has that I don"t have.
Except a hand cannon!
Uh... Well, then, I"ll need
reinforcements, won"t I?
Oh, it"s the bog monster!
Oh, don"t be silly.
Any half-wit can tell the
difference between a plane
engine and a bog monster!
[Rustling]
Whereas that is
clearly a bog monster!
[Screaming]
Get out of there this instant!
We need to get
the Crystal Coconut!
I have something better, sir!
I"ve retrieved the amulet!
That piece of junk is as
useless as you are!
Oh no, sir.
It"s magical, mysterious.
Only a complete moron
would believe that!
SKURVY: Button down the hatches,
maties!
[Laughing]
K. ROOL: Who cares that the
pirates have the coconut?
After all, it"s really this
mysterious, magical amulet
that"s the real power source.
More booty.
If only I knew where to find it.
I just hope they don"t come
to the Forbidden
Forest to look for it!
[Laughing]
Thar"s no smarter
pirate than me.
[Engine zooming]
[Screeching]
Get your furry butts back up
there and follow Skurvy!
He just left to meet K. Rool and
he"s got the Crystal Coconut!
Where to, C-man?
Uh, Cranky?
To the Forbidden Forest... hurry!
No can do.
Oh, not again!
What are you talking about?
When DK was a kid, he thinks
he saw a bog monster.
I didn"t think!
I saw!
There"s no such
thing as bog monsters!
Oh, yeah?
Tell that to the one I saw!
That was me that day,
you big goof!
What?
I told you to stay out of the
Forbidden Forest,
but you wouldn"t listen.
So, I had to find some way to
make you stop!
So, there is no bog monster?
That"s what I've been telling
you all along!
So, can we go now?
We sure can, little buddy.
There"s nothing
to be scared of now.
Arr, okay,
you lard bag land lover.
Hand over the amulet!
Oh, no!
It"s a nasty old pirate!
Okay, you win!
I be wanting all the booty!
The Crystal Coconut, too.
Give it over!
I would,
but your hands are full.
Allow me to relieve
you of the hand cannon.
Oh, why, thank you, mate.
All right,
you uneducated piece of vermin...
Arr!
That be a nasty trick.
Are you sure this
is going to work?
It fooled me, didn"t it?
Just wait for my cue,
then do your stuff.
So, you hand over the cannon
and I give you the amulet?
No, keep the cannon!
I only want the Crystal Coconut!
Who gets the amulet?
Who cares, you imbecile!
Roar!
Run for your lives!
It"s the bog monster!
BOTH: The bog monster!
Run!
Run for your lives!
He"ll get you!
Who cares about the booty?
Give me back me hand cannon!
And then there was one.
[Laughing]
Run, run, run for your... Huh?
Roar!
Uh-oh.
Nice try, Donkey Kong.
But as you can see, the one with
the most toys wins.
And that"s me!
Not for long.
Look at you standing there.
So foolish, so helpless.
So pathetic.
You can"t do anything because I
hold the ultimate power source!
Great job, little buddy.
You sounded so convincing!
What are you talking about?
I was waiting for your cue.
Aah!
[Laughing]
I knew he"d fall for it!
[Rustling]
Huh?
Aah!
The bog monster!
Aah!
Oh, no!
Krusha, look!
The bog monster!
He ate King K. Rool!
Everything "cepting his head.
You idiot!
Get me out of here!
[Roaring]
Thanks to Diddy"s bog monster
impression, it"s not likely
we"ll have to worry about seeing
the pirates for a while.
Bog monster?
I"m glad I'm over that.
[Roaring]
[All screaming]
Funky!
He"s still in the barrel!
[Thudding]
Funky, are you okay?
Maxed and relaxed.
All those negative vibes burned
me out, so I decided to just
chill and clock some Z"s.
Hey, little dude!
You found my hood ornament!
ALL: Hood ornament?
I lost it on my last barrel
run, but now I got it back!
Ha ha!
That"s karma!
What goes around, comes around.
You got it, dudes!
Later!
[Laughing]
Don"t ya get it?
Now the joke"s on us!
[Both laughing]
♪
ha ♪ Donkey Kong ♪ Hey oh
♪ Look out down
below ♪ Here he comes,
banana slamma ♪
♪
♪ Donkey Kong
♪ Huh, ha ♪ Huh,
ha ♪ Donkey Kong
♪
♪ Huh, ha ♪ Huh,
ha ♪ Donkey Kong ♪ Hey oh
♪ Look out down
below ♪ Here he comes,
banana slamma ♪
♪ Kongo Bongo"s hero ♪
♪ Hey oh ♪ Donkey Kong
♪ Let"s go, let's go ♪
♪ Here he comes, banana slamma ♪
♪
Little Warrior to Big Warrior,
come in!
Over.
DK: I can hear you loud and
clear, little buddy!
Not "little buddy"!
Little Warrior!
If you"re going to play with
banana phones, you"ve got to
talk in secret agent code, DK!
Uh, I mean, Big Warrior.
Oh, yeah!
Okay, okay.
Little Warrior... [Chuckling]
This is fun!
No, it"s serious!
We"re gorilla agents on a top
secret mission, sent in to the
deepest, darkest, most dangerous
part of the jungle!
Really?
Yes, there"s no telling what
kind of uncivilized,
pea-brained gargantuan beasts
could be lurking out there!
Why we gonna
steal the banana toy?
It"s not a toy!
Any military genius can see it"s
really a superior eavesdropping
device, used to secure delicate
information from the enemy.
Looks like a toy to me.
Well, it"s not!
It"s a secret spy device.
I"ll need to get my hands on it
if I"m gonna get back in King K.
Rool"s good books.
Hush, now.
Little fella"s coming this way.
See anything, Big Warrior?
Not yet, Little... Wait.
I hear something in the bushes.
Me, too!
It"s right in front of me!
[Screaming]
Got you!
[Laughing]
Oh!
Look at this!
What do you think it is?
I don"t know.
Maybe it dropped out of an alien
spaceship or something.
Betcha it"s got magical powers.
You think so?
Hey!
My banana phone... it"s gone!
[Tires squealing]
Oh, those no good,
dirty, rotten, low-down,
yellow-bellied, deep in slime
sucking salamanders!
Why would they
steal a banana phone?
They probably stole it so
they could spy on us.
Listen in on everything we say.
Then let"s give them
something to really listen to!
Oh,
you mean like a practical joke?
[Laughing]
Yeah!
Let"s radio them, then hang up!
[Laughing]
No, that"s not going to teach
them a lesson.
But I know what will!
You"re late!
Sorry, King K. Rool, sorry.
But we were detained!
For a good reason.
There is no good
reason for tardiness.
Whoa!
What is this?
It"s an eavesdropping device,
sir.
A bug.
I"m not interested in bugs,
I"m interested in power.
Supreme power, unlimited power
that will make me... Powerful.
DIDDY: Hey, DK, what should
we do with this
shiny new amulet?
DK: You mean the one that is
even more magical
than the Crystal Coconut?
[Gasping]
More magical than
the Crystal Coconut?
DIDDY: Oh where,
oh where should we put it?
DK: Maybe we should hide it
some place like the Forbidden
Forest of Kongo Bongo?
No one will find it.
You mean the lizards?
DK: Yeah!
King K. Rool and his cronies.
[Gasping]
Cronies?
What"s a crony?
Oh, it"s a derogatory term
used to describe heathen
henchmen like ourselves who
reside in the lowest
level of authority.
Wait, you two room spun idiots,
be quiet!
I"m trying to eavesdrop!
DK: No one can find out we"re
hiding this magical mysterious
amulet in the Forbidden Forest.
Klump,
Krusha... to the Forbidden Forest!
Immediately!
I want that power source!
[Laughing]
Oh, what a great practical joke!
[Laughing]
Wait till Cranky hears this one!
How many times have I told
you not to play practical jokes?
We were just having some fun.
Every ape with a brain knows
that"s the Amulet
of Bug a Boogie!
Huh?
It"s nothing but pure evil!
We"re all in danger now!
What should we do?
You have to bring it
some place no one will ever go!
Go to the Forbidden Forest and
hide it in the Well of Woes.
Whoa!
No way am I going to the
Forbidden Forest of Kongo Bongo!
You have to!
The fate of Kongo
Bongo relies on it!
I don"t believe it!
You"re scared!
Am not.
I"m just looking out for you,
little buddy.
Wouldn"t want you to get eaten
by a bog monster.
[Laughing]
A bog monster?
Will you two quit your
goofing around and scat?
There"s no telling what kind of
evil has already been unleashed!
Now go!
And hurry!
[Laughing]
Those knuckleheads!
That"ll teach them a lesson and
keep them out of
my fur for a while.
♪
♪ If you ask me mother she"ll
say I"s not so bad ♪
♪ But when I left the house
I took everything she had ♪
♪ I took her silver and her gold
and scuffed her wedding band ♪
♪ I even took her aprons and her
copper pots and pans ♪
♪ Lyin", loot and stealin' is
the reason I"m a pirate ♪
♪ Ransack and
pillaging ♪ Don"t knock it
till ya try it ♪
♪ Plundering and pilfering
♪ Make up a healthy diet ♪ Arr,
look at me!
♪ I"m doin' the Booty Boogie ♪
♪ No treasure is too big
♪ I scarfed the
peaks of Kilimanjaro ♪
♪ As well as raid a tomb
♪ I steal the mummy
from a Pharaoh ♪
♪ I"ve swiped the Crown Jewels
and Merlin"s crystal ball ♪
♪ But the Crystal Coconut is the
daddy of "em all ♪
♪ If you want a job with all the
riches you can stand ♪
♪ And all of the security of a
great pension plan ♪
♪ Arr, then come aboard!
♪ Lyin", loot and stealin' is
the reason we are pirates ♪
♪ Ransack and
pillaging ♪ Don"t knock it
till ya try it ♪
♪ Plundering and pilfering
♪ Make up a healthy diet ♪ Arr,
look at us
♪ We"re doin' the Booty Boogie ♪
♪ Arr, from sea to sea
♪ We"re doin' the Booty Boogie ♪
Ha ha!
What a nice song.
Mais oui.
Hip, hup, hip, hup!
Company halt!
Krusha?
Krusha!
Klump... Oh, Krusha!
Klump!
Where"s the magic amulet?
Haven"t you found
Donkey Kong yet?
Uh, almost, sir.
"Almost"?
As in I"m almost ready to
barbeque your sorry carcass?
Uh, no.
Almost as in somewhere between
not really and sort of-kind of.
Don"t tell me you're lost!
Oh, negative, sir.
My keen sense of sight, smell
and direction
have yet to fail me.
Hip, hup, hip, hup!
Hip, hup... Hip,
hup, what ya got?
A general"s brain
can't hold a thought.
[Twig snapping]
Aah!
DK"s a scaredy cat!
DK"s a... Stop that!
I am not.
I know, I"m just funning you.
There"s nothing
to be scared... Roar!
Aah!
[Laughing]
It was me, ya goof!
Roar!
That was you?
Of course!
Who else?
Now, quit clowning.
I just want to find this Well of
Woe and get out of here.
Me too!
[Laughing]
That"ll teach 'em.
Teach who what?
[Laughing]
Teach DK and Diddy that
practical jokes aren"t fun!
Sounds fly!
Label the scene for me,
ancient relic dude.
DK and Diddy found this crazy
gadget, so I told him it was a
magical amulet with evil powers!
Then I sent them on a wild goose
chase to the Forbidden Forest to
get rid of it, but the place I
sent them to doesn"t even exist!
Whoa!
Negative karma, fossil man!
What are you talking about?
Zen law, dude!
What goes around, comes around.
You"d better flex a move to
correct or I"m betting
you are regretting.
[Laughing]
Don"t be silly.
It"s just a practical joke.
[Laughing]
CRANKY: Practical joke!
[Laughing]
Hmm, a practical joke?
I"m duped!
And what"s more, I've got Klump
and Krusha in the Forbidden
Forest running after an amulet
that"s worthless when all this
time I could have been stealing
the Crystal Coconut in Donkey
Kong"s absence!
[Gasping]
The Crystal Coconut!
[Static buzzing]
Krusha!
Abort the mission and come back
to headquarters immediately!
I can"t.
Why not?!
Something bad happened.
Argh!
Then find Klump and tell him to
get his leathery hide back here
immediately!
Klump!
You don"t have to shout.
Klump?!
[Chuckling nervously]
Oh, hello there, sir.
Everything,
um... under control here.
If I recall, my villain
tutorial"s lesson 109 states,
"When all else fails, implement
and execute heinous diabolical
plan yourself!"
[Laughing]
Hey, how did you fit these
little pirate dudes
in the Zen gem?
Pirates?
What?
Oh, no!
They"re on the island!
I"ve got to warn Donkey Kong!
Far out.
Now the joke"s on you.
Karmic kickback!
[Laughing]
Just watch the coconut,
will you?
Whoa!
I"m sensing some
really negative vibes.
Whoa!
Jump back, Jack!
Arr, I be Skurvy, not Jack.
And I come in the name of me
great-great-great-grand-pappy to
claim me birthright...
The Crystal Coconut.
I gotta tell you dudes, you
are riding some
serious negative waves.
But you"re in luck... I have
cosmic jurisdiction
to assign mantras.
But before I can do that, you
dudes will need a major cosmic
cleansing and total clearing of
the chakras.
[Muffled]: No offence, but I
think you dudes
are missing the point.
Aye, but you be missing more
than that, mate.
[Laughing]
[Twig snapping]
Did you hear that, Diddy?
Little bud?
Where are you?
Aah!
The bog monster!
Whoa!
No!
Go away!
DIDDY: Cut it out, will ya?
[Laughing]
There"s no such
thing as bog monsters!
Yes, there is!
I saw one.
When I was just a little monkey,
Cranky always warned me not to
go into the Forbidden Forest.
You must have imagined it, DK.
No, I didn"t!
I know what I saw.
♪
♪ In the Forbidden Forest lurks
a monster and you"ll see ♪
♪ How my childhood curiosity
got the best of me ♪
♪ With crusty skin
and giant claws ♪
♪ And dripping fangs
and beady eyes ♪
♪ His arms surround you
♪ Feels like drowning
in mud pies ♪
♪ The Big Bog Monster
is coming after you ♪
♪ His terrifying face will make
you scream until you"re blue ♪
♪ His breath was awfully stinky,
it could knock over a rhino ♪
♪ His hair was full of maggots
♪ And his ears dripped
something yellow ♪
♪ I thought to myself,
"What could it be?" ♪
♪ His eyes were red
from what I could see ♪
♪ His arms were
thicker than a tree ♪
♪ It scared the
bananas out of me ♪
♪ The Big Bog Monster
is coming after you ♪
♪ His terrifying face will make
you scream until you"re blue ♪
♪ The Big Bog Monster
is coming after you ♪
♪ You"d better run for cover ♪
♪ If he catches you,
you"re through ♪
♪ The Big Bog Monster
is coming after you ♪
Sharp teeth, beady eyes...
♪ The Big Bog Monster
is coming after you ♪
[Screaming]
[Laughing]
DK is a scaredy cat!
DK is a... It could
have been the bog
monster.
No, it couldn"t because
there"s nothing in this forest
but you and me.
[Both screaming]
DK, back to the cabin, pronto!
But we haven"t found
the Well of Woe yet.
There is no Well of Woe,
you knucklehead.
I made it up to teach you two
goons a lesson!
BOTH: A practical joke?
You mean,
the amulet isn"t even evil?
It"s junk!
Never mind that!
Skurvy and his henchmen
are on the island!
You gotta hurry before... Oh, no!
Cranky, what"s wrong?
The Crystal Coconut!
Someone must be messing with it!
It can only be... Skurvy!
[Panting]
Hold it right there, soldiers!
I demand you hand over that, um,
that magical thing-a-ma-jiggy!
Give it to him.
It"s worthless anyway.
Okay, here you go.
We"re leaving now.
We don"t want to be eaten by the
bog monster.
Did you see that?
I am a military genius!
What do you say, Krusha?
What"s a bog monster?
Oh, it"s a big, ugly, hairy
beast that eats
anything in sight...
[Gasping]
Don"t worry, I'm here!
The Crystal Coconut
is... [Gasping]
Gone!
FUNKY: Too late, hero dudes!
The scum dudes with bad karma
already took it!
But if Skurvy has it, then
he"s probably on his ship
getting ready to set sail!
And if he"s got the Crystal
Coconut, then he"s got... Cranky!
We"ve got to bust a move, DK!
Funky"s plane!
[Engine whirring]
BOTH: Whoa!
Wah!
Aah!
Copasetic, dude.
What the... Where am I?
Hey,
what"s all my stuff doing here?
Kutlass, Green Kroc!
Load the rest of the booty and
prepare to set sail!
Skurvy... he"s got
the Crystal Coconut!
Donkey Kong better get here soon
or I"m stuck with these goons.
All right,
you knuckle-dragging throwbacks,
hand over the Coconut!
FUNKY: Too late,
villain dude number two.
Pirate villain dude number one
beat you to it.
Of all the low-down, dirty,
rotten, yellow-bellied, slime
sucking tricks!
That was my idea.
[Sighing]
This negative stuff is
bumming me out big time.
Well, I"ll just steal it back.
After all, there"s nothing
Skurvy has that I don"t have.
Except a hand cannon!
Uh... Well, then, I"ll need
reinforcements, won"t I?
Oh, it"s the bog monster!
Oh, don"t be silly.
Any half-wit can tell the
difference between a plane
engine and a bog monster!
[Rustling]
Whereas that is
clearly a bog monster!
[Screaming]
Get out of there this instant!
We need to get
the Crystal Coconut!
I have something better, sir!
I"ve retrieved the amulet!
That piece of junk is as
useless as you are!
Oh no, sir.
It"s magical, mysterious.
Only a complete moron
would believe that!
SKURVY: Button down the hatches,
maties!
[Laughing]
K. ROOL: Who cares that the
pirates have the coconut?
After all, it"s really this
mysterious, magical amulet
that"s the real power source.
More booty.
If only I knew where to find it.
I just hope they don"t come
to the Forbidden
Forest to look for it!
[Laughing]
Thar"s no smarter
pirate than me.
[Engine zooming]
[Screeching]
Get your furry butts back up
there and follow Skurvy!
He just left to meet K. Rool and
he"s got the Crystal Coconut!
Where to, C-man?
Uh, Cranky?
To the Forbidden Forest... hurry!
No can do.
Oh, not again!
What are you talking about?
When DK was a kid, he thinks
he saw a bog monster.
I didn"t think!
I saw!
There"s no such
thing as bog monsters!
Oh, yeah?
Tell that to the one I saw!
That was me that day,
you big goof!
What?
I told you to stay out of the
Forbidden Forest,
but you wouldn"t listen.
So, I had to find some way to
make you stop!
So, there is no bog monster?
That"s what I've been telling
you all along!
So, can we go now?
We sure can, little buddy.
There"s nothing
to be scared of now.
Arr, okay,
you lard bag land lover.
Hand over the amulet!
Oh, no!
It"s a nasty old pirate!
Okay, you win!
I be wanting all the booty!
The Crystal Coconut, too.
Give it over!
I would,
but your hands are full.
Allow me to relieve
you of the hand cannon.
Oh, why, thank you, mate.
All right,
you uneducated piece of vermin...
Arr!
That be a nasty trick.
Are you sure this
is going to work?
It fooled me, didn"t it?
Just wait for my cue,
then do your stuff.
So, you hand over the cannon
and I give you the amulet?
No, keep the cannon!
I only want the Crystal Coconut!
Who gets the amulet?
Who cares, you imbecile!
Roar!
Run for your lives!
It"s the bog monster!
BOTH: The bog monster!
Run!
Run for your lives!
He"ll get you!
Who cares about the booty?
Give me back me hand cannon!
And then there was one.
[Laughing]
Run, run, run for your... Huh?
Roar!
Uh-oh.
Nice try, Donkey Kong.
But as you can see, the one with
the most toys wins.
And that"s me!
Not for long.
Look at you standing there.
So foolish, so helpless.
So pathetic.
You can"t do anything because I
hold the ultimate power source!
Great job, little buddy.
You sounded so convincing!
What are you talking about?
I was waiting for your cue.
Aah!
[Laughing]
I knew he"d fall for it!
[Rustling]
Huh?
Aah!
The bog monster!
Aah!
Oh, no!
Krusha, look!
The bog monster!
He ate King K. Rool!
Everything "cepting his head.
You idiot!
Get me out of here!
[Roaring]
Thanks to Diddy"s bog monster
impression, it"s not likely
we"ll have to worry about seeing
the pirates for a while.
Bog monster?
I"m glad I'm over that.
[Roaring]
[All screaming]
Funky!
He"s still in the barrel!
[Thudding]
Funky, are you okay?
Maxed and relaxed.
All those negative vibes burned
me out, so I decided to just
chill and clock some Z"s.
Hey, little dude!
You found my hood ornament!
ALL: Hood ornament?
I lost it on my last barrel
run, but now I got it back!
Ha ha!
That"s karma!
What goes around, comes around.
You got it, dudes!
Later!
[Laughing]
Don"t ya get it?
Now the joke"s on us!
[Both laughing]
♪