Donkey Kong Country (1997–2000): Season 1, Episode 16 - Klump's Lumps - full transcript

♪ Ooh ♪ Ah ♪ Ooh-ah
♪ Donkey Kong ♪ Hey-oh

♪ Look out down
below ♪ Here he comes

♪ Banana slamma



♪ Donkey Kong ♪

♪ Ooh ♪ Ah ♪ Ooh-ah, Donkey Kong



♪ Ooh ♪ Ah ♪ Ooh-ah,
Donkey Kong ♪ Hey-oh

♪ Look out down
below ♪ Here he comes

♪ Banana slamma ♪
Kongo Bongo"s hero ♪

♪ Hey-oh ♪ Donkey Kong,
let"s go ♪



♪ Let"s go ♪

♪ Here he comes ♪ Banana slamma

Are you tired of second-rate

bottom-of-the-barrel barrels?

Then come on down to Bluster

Barrelworks" Sale

Ape-Stravaganza, because at

Bluster Barrelworks, we"ve got

the competition over a barrel.

It"s bad enough I can't get

gator wrestling, but now I have

to listen to this blabbering

butt-head baboon instead!

Oh, why must my world be



littered with such
homespun idiots?

KLUMP: Morning,
King K. Rool, sir!

Speaking of which.

The secret weapon is prepared

and ready for its
first test launch.

I was thinking of
volunteering... Krusha!

Oh.

He must still be watching Sing

Along With Uncle Swampy, his

favourite TV show.

What?

Uncle Swampy rates
number one every week.

A million viewers
can"t be wrong.

A million viewers?

That"s it!

I"m going to be on television!

On the Sing Along With
Uncle Swampyshow?

No, you lunkhead!

I"m going to invade the

television airwaves.

Then, in front of everybody in

TV Land, I"ll claim my rightful

place as new ruler of
Kongo Bongo Island.

[Cackling]

[Laughing]

Uh, how?

I"m going to steal the

Crystal Coconut on
national television.

[Cackling]

[Laughing]

Er, how?

Read my lips, you idiot!

With... the... secret... weapon.

Oh.

Oh, yeah.

Heh heh.

Will you get out of
here and get to work?

Prepare the secret weapon

for immediate transport.

Whilst I prepare for
my television debut.

BLUSTER: Well, doing

commercials was a lousy idea,
Candy.

Sales are still way down.

If you recall, my idea didn"t

include you in the commercial.

And what"s wrong with me?

Nothing.

Except no one believes you.

Which is why I got somebody else

to help sell your
barrels for free.

Someone we all know and love.

I got Cranky.

That old fossil?

But if Cranky says your

barrels are the best,
sales will skyrocket.

I knew you"d like it.

So I already made
all the arrangements.

And who knows, Candy...

You might even get
a promotion for this.

Unless you mess this up,
so don"t!

Mommy wouldn"t like that.

Don"t worry, I've got

everything under control.

I certainly hope so.

It"s your job on the line if

Cranky doesn"t show.

Wow, Candy.

Is it true?

Did you really get Cranky to

agree to be in Bluster"s
next commercial?

Yeah, and this could mean

really big things for my career,
DK.

♪ Never felt so alive

♪ I"m a mover and a shaker with

a jumping jive ♪

♪ Hey diddle diddle,

forget about the middle ♪

♪ Take me to the top, "cause

I"ve finally arrived ♪

♪ Watch out down below

♪ I"m a-wheeling and a-dealing

like a CEO ♪

♪ See me shout ♪
I feel like busting out

♪ There"s no telling
how far I could go ♪

♪ Bull by the horns
♪ Tiger by the tail

♪ Get out of my way,

I got barrels to sell ♪

♪ Don"t you see that
I'm second to none ♪

♪ Look out, world,
"cause here I come ♪



♪ Ooh, swing it, baby

♪ The world"s my oyster,
can"t you see? ♪

♪ Everything"s
growing exponentially ♪

♪ There"s so much opportunity

for a one-woman
advertising factory ♪

♪ Never felt so alive

♪ I"m a mover and a shaker with

a jumping jive ♪

♪ Hidey hidey ho and
a skoodley-be-bop ♪

♪ I"m just like cream,

I"m rising to the top ♪

♪ The future"s so bright that I

gotta wear shades ♪

♪ Look out, baby,
I got it made ♪

♪ Don"t you see that
I'm second to none? ♪

♪ Look out, world,
"cause here I come ♪

Anything I can do to help?

Yeah, make sure Cranky"s ready.

I"ll be by to pick
him up shortly.

You can count on me, Candy.

BLUSTER: At Bluster

Barrelworks, we"ve got the

competition over a barrel.

I can"t believe I let Candy

talk me into helping Bluster

sell his barrels.

OLD MAN: Calling all seniors!

Roll out of those rockers and

drag your knuckles down to

Kongo Bongo"s rock-o-rama heavy

metal [Wheezing] rock karaoke

guitar anthem!



Yeah!

Rock and roll!

[Crashing]

Hey, Cranky,
what"s all the screaming?

You okay?

Cranky?

Uh, Cranky?

[Wheezing]

DIDDY: You knocked the wind out of him,
DK!

Quick, give him some water!

Here!

[Coughing]

You knucklehead!

That"s... Sleeping tonic?

Uh oh.

Well, look on the bright side.

We got him to stop singing.

Yeah, I mean, it"s not like

he has to go anywhere.

[Gasping]

BOTH: Bluster"s!

The TV commercial!

Oh no!

Candy promised that
Cranky would be there.

CANDY: Yoo-hoo, Cranky?

You all set to go?

I"ll keep her busy.

You hide Cranky.

Hey, Candy.

How"s it hiding?

I mean going.

Great, DK.

Is Cranky here.

Nope, no way.

I"m all alone.

[Thumping]

What was that?

Mice.

Mice?

DK, you"re such a kidder.

Yeah, well... Candy, no, wait!

I can explain.

Explain what?

Explain why Cranky"s not here.

He"s... Getting a haircut.

Yeah, getting a haircut.

[Snoring]

What"s that?

Mice.

With allergies.

Come on, get serious.

DIDDY: Actually... [Coughing]

It"s just me.

[Coughing]

Well, if you see Cranky...

I"ll be sure to send
him to Bluster"s.

See you, bye.

Hoo-wee.

That was close.

I almost didn"t get Cranky out

the back door in time.

Cranky doesn"t have a back

door, little buddy.

He does now.

Uh, you think he"ll be mad?

Not as mad as Candy"s going

to be when she finds out I"ve

messed up her whole career.

Ah, don"t sweat it, DK.

We can get Cranky to Bluster"s

in time for the TV commercial.

You"re right.

So where"d you put him, anyway?

I laid him down on one of the...

Footbridge traps.

That wasn"t such a good idea,

little buddy.

Well, neither was setting off

the trigger barrels, big buddy.

We"ve gotta get
Cranky to Bluster"s!

We gotta find him first.

BOTH: Cranky!

Wait up!

I can feel my
biorhythms jamming.

My horoscope says a mysterious

force is going to bring me

ancient relics from
unknown places.

Cranky?

Jump back, dude.

[Engine sounds receding]

Cranky landed in
Funky"s biplane.

This is great!

All we have to do now is hook up

with Funky, then bring Cranky

over to Bluster"s.

Uh oh.

That sounds like a bad uh oh.

What about the Crystal Coconut?

If Cranky finds out we left it

alone, we"re as good as furless.

But if we don"t get Cranky

back, then good things aren"t

going to happen for Candy, and

it"ll be all my fault.

Somebody"s got to watch it for

us, but who?

DIXIE: Hey, Dids, DK!

What"s up?

KLUMP: Operation Steal the

Crystal Coconut Attempt #307

commencing, sir.

No one"s even there.

We can just walk
right in and steal it.

Oh, spoken like a true amateur.

Where I come from, we do things

with style, drama, flair.

I mean, just taking it?

How"s that going
to make me look?

I"ll be on television.

All of Kongo Bongo
will be watching.

I"m not a common cat burglar.

I"m a grand dictator who's about

to cleverly wrestle the power

away from those
mindless monkeys!

Don"t you see?

Um, is that a trick question?

Oh, never mind!

Just make sure that secret

weapon is ready on my signal.

And, er, Klump?

If we run into any problems,

whatever you do, don"t go

blabbing them on
national television!

Ooh, ooh, ooh!

I... I could use my
secret emergency code!

Like,
"The fog was thick and dense."

Like your brain?

N-no.

It means the air is
thick with enemies.

Get it?

A code talk.

So no one will understand me.

That"s a given at the best of

times, Klump.

Now shut up and
stand by for my signal.

I"m going live!

♪ The wheels on the mine cart go

round and round, round... ♪

Hey.

What happened to Uncle Swampy?

Hello there, TV Land.

In mere moments, I, King

K. Rool, will be the new ruler

of Kongo Bongo Island, by

virtue of my newly stolen

possession, the Crystal Coconut!

Stealing is bad.

However, to prove that I"m

not your average dictator, but

rather, hmm... a barbarian of

distinct class and

sophistication, I"d like to

invite you, the TV viewer, to

witness my cordial overthrow of

your island.

So stay tuned.

Well, where"s Cranky?

I was told he was on his way,

but he should have
been here by now.

Oh, what should we do?

We?

No, no, no.

This is your problem, so if I

were you I"d hunt down that old

grouch and get his wrinkled

carcass down here pronto!

I don"t understand.

Cranky knows how
important this is to me.

Where could he be?

[Snoring]

FUNKY: I couldn"t agree more,
relic dude.

Like I always say, if you"re too

zoned to glide,
then glide the zone.

With Dixie watching the

Coconut, all we gotta do is

get Cranky back and home...

CANDY: DK, Diddy, stop!

I thought you were sending

Cranky over to Bluster"s after

his haircut!

Where is he?

Getting a manicure.

At the doctor"s.

Huh?

He"s getting a
manicure at the doctor"s.

Yeah, it"s a new manicure...

Medicure procedure thingy.

It"s very new.

So new they don"t
even know it yet.

DK: But don"t worry, Candy.

I got a feeling he"s going to be

showing up real soon.

Tag, you"re it!

What the... What"s
going on around here?

Cranky must have landed

around here somewhere.

KLUMP: Enemy
headquarters in range.

Target clearly visible.

Huh?

An intruder.

This is just the kind of problem

King K. Rool said
we might run into.

I"d better alert him,
and pronto.

K. ROOL: And how am I

planning to steal the Coconut?

Well, my friends, that"s where

my genius comes
into play... KLUMP: Sir?

Psst, sir?

"The goose is loose."

Not now, Klump.

But sir,
"the oven is overheating."

You"re in my close-up!

"The baby"s bicycle is broken."

K. ROOL: You"ll be broken if

you don"t stop interrupting me,
you dolt!

I don"t know what you two are

up to, but if I don"t find

Cranky, I"m in big trouble!

I knew it.

Where is he?

I"m sure Cranky's trying to

get there as fast as he can.

He"d better be.

[Snoring]

But,
sir... "The fuzzy little lamb..."

You... Shut up!

And get the secret weapon ready!

[Snoring]

KLUMP: How"d he get in there?

Who cares?

Just get rid of him!

Great,
he"s exactly where we want him.

Er, almost.



There he is!

Not so fast.

DK: Candy,
you don"t understand!

The rocket ship...

I don"t want to
hear another word.

First you say a haircut, then

you said he was on his way, then

he was at the doctor"s!

I want to know where Cranky is!

BLUSTER: So do I.

Bluster, I... Oh, save it, Candy.

If Cranky isn"t here by the time

we go to air, you"re fired!

Why would Cranky do this to me?

Where could he be?

Candy, I"m so sorry.

No, DK.

I"m sorry.

This whole thing
has made me crazy.

I"ve been trying to win success

at the risk of losing
everything else.

Including my friends.

♪ I was blinded by ambition

when I lost my inhibition ♪

♪ Now suddenly I"m wishin'

to be back where I belong ♪

♪ In the advertising rat race

at a crazy frenzied pace ♪

♪ I was taking full advantage

and that"s where I went wrong ♪

♪ Just remember ♪ Who you are

♪ If you are what you ain"t

then you"re not where you're at

then you know
you"ve gone too far ♪

♪ I was stepping on my friends

♪ I would ridicule and offend

♪ I didn"t mean to condescend ♪

♪ Forgive my foolish pride

♪ I couldn"t see the jungle for

the trees ♪

♪ The business brought
me to my knees ♪

♪ You"ve gotta learn how to

cheat and scam and lie ♪

♪ Just remember ♪ Who you are

♪ If you are what you ain"t

then you"re not where you're at

then you know
you"ve gone too far ♪

♪ Just remember ♪ Who you are

♪ It"s never too late to set

yourself straight ♪

♪ Self-respect will
make you a star ♪

I"m sorry, DK.

I"ve done nothing but accuse

you and giving you grief, and

it"s not even your fault.

Look, Candy.

I can"t explain things right

now, but I promise that I"m

going to find Cranky and have

him here in time for Bluster"s

next commercial.

Really?

It"s a guarantee.

Oh, DK!

You"ve never let me down before.

I just know you won"t
let me down now.

I"ll go tell Bluster.

How could you make
a promise like that?

Because I started this mess,

and I"m going to fix it.

We gotta catch up with that

express mail rocket ship.

Bluster"s chopper!

K. ROOL: In closing, I"d like

to say that it will be my

extreme pleasure to dictate

over you, and I hope your

enslavement is
completely distressing.

[Cackling]

And now, I present to you the

secret weapon!

Notice its fine contours, and...

K. ROOL: Will
you just get inside?

The rocket ship!

There it is!

And there he goes!

Cranky"s headed
for K. Rool's mines.

I"ve got an idea,
but I'll need your help.

That"s what sidekicks are for.

Good.

You drive.

What?

I can"t drive.

Neither can I.

Take the wheel.

DIDDY: Yikes!

Klump will now launch himself

out of the secret weapon and

steal the Crystal Coconut,

thereby declaring me as new

ruler of Kongo Bongo.

In other words, I win.

Banana slamma!

K. ROOL: Ready, aim, fire!

[Screaming]

Uh oh.

[Crashing]

Oh, no.

The eggs are fried,
the eggs are...

[Screaming]

We made it!

Now to get to Bluster"s.

Hang on, Cranky.

Almost... Whoa!

That had to hurt.

And it did.

[Cranky snoring]

Okay, enough monkeying around.

Sorry, Cranky, but I promised

Candy to get you to Bluster"s,

and that"s where you're going.

[Grunting]

[Crashing]

Huh?

Huh... Hey... Huh?

[Whispering]

Bluster Barrelworks?

[Whispering]

"Cause their barrels have been

around forever.

[Whispering]

And I should know,
"cause so have I?

What kind of crock is that?

You heard it here, folks.

This is Bluster from Bluster

Barrelworks,
signing off, saying...

Hey,
what happened to King K. Rool?

[Screaming]

KLUMP: Krusha...
prepare department...

10-4,
soldier... The eggs... are... fried.

Uncle Swampy
always says bye-bye.

Is everything okay?

Couldn"t be better.

Bluster"s mom is so happy with

the way things turned out that

Bluster wants to promote me.

Wow, that"s fantastic, Candy!

Yeah, but I"m not interested.

Why not?

Don"t you want really great

things to happen to you?

Yes, to me.

Why should I waste all my good

ideas on Bluster?

Besides, I"m thinking of

something less stressful.

To be honest, this TV stuff is

just a big pain.

[Cranky groaning]

Speaking of pain, why am I in

so much of it?

Last thing I remember, I was

gasping for air when you handed

me a bottle...
Uh... Little buddy?

DIDDY: I"m way ahead of you,
DK!

CRANKY: Donkey Kong!