Doctor Who (1963–1989): Season 4, Episode 36 - The Faceless Ones: Episode 6 - full transcript

The Doctor and Pinto are captured by the Chameleons but the Doctor manages to use their dependence on their human originals to create dissent in their ranks.

Sincro: wyxchari

What do we do now?

We slip away and see if we can find all these young people. Come on.

Ah, Captain Blade, we're following your instructions, trying to find the accommodation centre.

My instructions don't apply to you. You two won't be needing living space.

Captain Blade, what is this? I don't understand. We're here to stay, aren't we?

Oh yes, you're here to stay - but not in your present state.

I'm very sorry, I simply don't understand what you mean.

I checked with the Medical Centre. You're both human. We want you intact. That's why I allowed you to come here. I want your brain.

I've told you, I don't know where they are. You're wasting your time with me.

I think he's telling the truth.

I'm afraid he is. Get him out of here!

They must be here somewhere.

We have completely searched this area. I've now got fifty men going through this part and the Metropolitan Police are sending help. But time is running short. I have to cover the entire airfield. I need volunteers now!

Get me the public address room. Heslington, divert all in-bound aircraft. Public Address Room, this is the Commandant. Switch me through to the P.A. system and stop all other announcements until further instructions.

This is the Airport Commandant speaking...

Please pay attention. I want all available Airport personnel to assist in a special duty. Will they please report to the Airport Police, who will issue instructions. I would like to assure passengers that there's no cause for alarm, and to apologise for the temporary suspension of all outward flights.


What did you hope to achieve here?

A chance to plead with you for the lives of fifty thousand young people.

They're only human beings.

And what are you?

We are the most intelligent race in the universe.



Freiburg flight has just taken off.

Why, Jamie!

You wish to speak to me?

Oh no, of course, it's... it's not Jamie. You're a Chameleon.

Well, I don't think you've done a very good job on him.

Why not?

Well you lost his Scots accent in the processing. Oh I much preferred the original.

If you're looking for your friend's original, Doctor, you won't find it in here.


No, it's... a safe place. Not far from here. What are we waiting for?

Dubrovnik and Athens. They're waiting to collect our personnel.

We're well ahead of schedule. We can wait. Proceed with the processing.

By the way Captain Blade, congratulations on bringing this man here. I personally will decide which of our people is to have his identity.

It'll be one of your friends, I've no doubt!

Well it's understandable. The... the special people up here feel more secure if their originals are actually in the satellite.

Be quiet.

The Director has nothing to worry about because his original, Detective Inspector Crossland is actually on board. But ah... where's your original?

And where's yours?

That's enough! Their originals are perfectly safe. Hidden on Gatwick Airport, where they will never be found.

What did you mean about our originals?

Well, as I see it, there are two categories. People like your Director and that man over there...

...whose originals are safe on board here. And then there are people like you two, whose originals have been left behind at Gatwick airport. If they're tampered with... you're finished!

He's lying. Come on, let's get him into the machine before the Director returns.

Yes, you'd better process me quickly, because any minute now you'll cease to exist. You're first on the list!

What list?

Oh surely you understand! We've found all of the originals. The Commandant at the Airport is going to deprocess them one by one, starting with you, unless I stop him.

He's bluffing.

Wait! Where did you find the originals?

Ah, that I can't tell you. But they'd been searching for some time and just as I was about to board the aircraft I got a signal, which meant that they'd been successful. Otherwise I wouldn't have come.

Well, if you don't believe me, check with Gatwick Airport. I imagine you know its radio frequency?

Contact Gatwick Air Control.

I've got two dozen men moving down here looking for any signs of the soil having been disturbed. There are twenty men here, with fifty volunteers going through these hangars.



Someone's crashing our frequency.

Who is it?

I don't know sir. It's an unidentified station, asking for you.

This is Chameleon Headquarters calling Gatwick Airport. How do you read me?

This is Gatwick Airport, Commandant speaking. We are reading you loud and clear.

We understand you have found some property in which we have an interest. Will you confirm?

Yes, we have that property.

State where you found it.

Does that matter. The important thing is we have found it, and can now destroy you.

Please stay by your receiver.

The Doctor must be trying some sort of bluff.

And we are not being much help to him.

Where d'you think you left them?

I don't know, I left them in here somewhere. Anyway, none of that Chameleon lot are looking 'cos they've all gone.

Here, look!

Yeah. You see it suddenly dawned on me - what would they be doing with so many coaches?

Oh, why didn't that occur to me?

Oh, you haven't got all the brains in London you know. Twenty-five! There you are, twenty-five car numbers, twenty-five people!

This is Chameleon Headquarters. Explain your reluctance to state where you found the property.

It is not a question of reluctance.

Say the police haven't told you yet.

The property is in the hands of the police, who have not yet informed me where the hiding place was.

Message understood. Please stay by your receiver.

I'll get that.

Air Traffic Control. Hold on a minute. It's the girl and your assistant. They think they've got a clue.

Right, I'll try and stall them.

Chameleon Headquarters to Gatwick Airport. We are closing down now.

Gatwick Airport to Chameleon Headquarters, are you receiving me?

Gatwick Airport to Chameleon Headquarters, are you receiving me? Gatwick Airport to Chameleon Headquarters, are you receiving...

Turn it off.

Put that gun away.

He said he'd found our originals.

And had he?

No, he was bluffing.

Proceed with the processing. In future, take your orders only from me.

You're going to get a surprise when twenty-five of your people disintegrate!

What a pity you won't be able to see it. The Nurse.

Now then, now... what is it you want me to do?

Sit down.

Tell me, what happens if ah, you disintegrate in the middle of my being processed? I mean, will that do me any harm, being suspended between one thing and an other, so to speak...

Sit down!

Oh, very well,

Oh dear.

You should have been watching him. Send for a new unit. You haven't averted your fate, only postponed it.

At last. Now Doctor...

You're quite sure it's safe now?

Is everything ready now?

Just one moment, sir.

Director. Gatwick Control calling us again.

Ignore them.

They claim they have found the originals.

They're bluffing again, I said ignore them!

Gatwick Airport to Chameleon Head Quarters. Do you read me?

It's no good sir.

Very well. We'll have to give them a demonstration.

Right Super.

Sergeant Erskine?

They have found them! They weren't bluffing.

His equipment could have gone wrong.

All right, what could have gone wrong with it?

That is a question for our scientists.

By the time they tell you that there's nothing wrong with it, you'll all have disintegrated, except of course the Director.

Be quiet, this has nothing to do with you.

Yes, you're quite right, it only concerns these two. I'll keep my mouth shut.

We'd better contact Gatwick Air Control.

We've finished with Gatwick Airport.

And what if they haven't finished with us?

That would be your own fault, wouldn't it. You told me that all the originals were hidden. Where they could not possibly be found until the life have been drained from them. Are you now telling me that you were careless?

Contact Gatwick Air Control.

Destroy the transmitter.

All right.

This is Chameleon Head Quarters calling Gatwick Airport. How do you read me?

Gatwick Airport to Chameleon Head Quarters. We are reading you loud and clear.

Can you now state where you found the originals?

The originals were discovered in a car park. To prove it, we have already eliminated one of your personnel. A man.

I now wish to speak to the Doctor. Unless I hear his voice immediately, the next to be eliminated will be Captain Blade.

Release him!

I said release him.

Get to that microphone!

Release the Nurse first.

I said I wished to speak to the Doctor, otherwise the next will be Captain Blade.

Doctor, the microphone.

Are you quite all right, my dear.

Yes, I think so.


Commandant, this is the Doctor speaking.

Ar, what a relief.

Stand by while I negotiate.

Now then, I will tell you my terms. I will guarantee your continued existence, if you will return to Earth all the young people you abducted.

No use. They've all been miniaturised.

Then reverse the process.

I'm afraid that's impossible, the equipment for that is on our home planet.

He's lying. The planes themselves are the miniaturisation chambers and they work both ways.

What kind of continued existence would we have, Doctor?

In your former state, I'm afraid. Your scientists will have to find some other way out of your dilemma.

It's better than death.

We accept.

All right, we accept.

You fools, how can you trust him?

Look out! Ahh...

Commandant, are you still there?


Negotiations have been successfully concluded as arranged.

Good. I'll leave the people in the car park as they are until you arrive back.

Good. Please stay listening out on this frequency. I am leaving Captain Blade in charge of the radio.

Can you trust him?

Yes, I think I can now.

What are you going to do?

I'm going to try and find my three friends and the Inspector. You know where they are?


You will take me to them. I will call you again.


Well, Heslington, flap over. Let's get back to normal as quickly as we can.

Over here.

I don't know which one.


Jamie! Ha, I'm glad to see you alive.

How... how do you mean?

I'll explain to you one day. Well come along out. You look like a soldier in a sentry box standing there! Sit down.

Sit down.

It's all right, he's a friend. Now sit down while I find the others.

Ah! Inspector Crossland.

There we are. Now, Ben, Polly and back to Gatwick.

Doctor, the first plane is ready for take-off. We've got all the processed personnel including your three young friends aboard.

Ah, good.

Are you going with us, Doctor.

Yes, I'm going with Nurse Pinto.

Are you going Inspector?

No, I think I'd better stay here just for a while, to... tidy things up. Are you ready nurse?

Oh yes, Inspector.

I'll see you to the plane.

I'll see you on the plane Nurse.

What will our future be Doctor?

So long as you keep your side of the bargain, you may return to your own planet unharmed. Perhaps your scientists will be able to find some way out of their dilemma. I may be able to give them one or two ideas of my own.

Yes, yes, I know, all flights were suspended as well as yours.

Hello Doctor. All down safely.

Yes. Yes.

Splendid, Splendid. I'll take that Brussels call now.

There's just one thing Commandant.

Yes, yes, right.

Our TARDIS. Our police box.

Ah Bruxelles. Oui, j'...

The police box on the runway.

Of course, Jean, see that the Doctor gets his property back, will you? Goodbye Doctor and thank you so much.

Thank you Commandant.

Goodbye scottie.

Goodbye Samantha. Come along Jamie, we must find Ben and Polly and get to the TARDIS.

I'd better say goodbye.

Oh, well I'll see you around then?

Around where?

Well, you know, around... Ah you're not just going off like that?

Aye, I must go. The Doctor'll be... Well your brother will be here any moment.


Well, ta-ra then!

Aye, well can...

Hey, thanks for everything.

I'll say goodbye.

Goodbye Jamie.

This will do. My thanks to the Commandant.

Thank you every much.

Hey, Doctor, where are you going?

Hey, come back.


What are you doing?

Doing. I'm looking for the TARDIS.

Oh no, can't we stay in London a bit?

Yeah, it's good to feel normal again.

Normal? What do you mean, Ben?

Well, no monsters, or Cybermen. All this - it's normal. I understand it.

Do you? What about Chameleon Tours?

Oh yeah, that was different!

Oh I'll be glad to get away from here. Can you not land us in a nice civilised place like 1750?

What's so uncivilised about 1966?

Oh, you can keep it!

Did you say 1966.


What month is it?

It's July. July the 20th, to be precise.

What are you getting at?

Don't you see, Duchess? July the 20th, 1966 is when it all began! We're back to when it all started! Well, I think...

That means it's as... it's as if we've never been away!

You really want to go, don't you.

Well, we won't leave, Doctor, if you really need us.

The thing is, it... it is our world.

Yes, I know. You're lucky, I never got back to mine...

All right, then. Off you go!

Now go on, Ben can catch his ship and become an Admiral and you Polly, you can look after Ben.

I will.

You will be safe, won't you?

I'll look after him.

I'm sure you will, mate.

Goodbye Doctor.


We might see you sometime. Take care.

Well you'd better hurry. The Commandant's car's waiting.

I'm sad to see them go.

Yes Jamie, so am I.

Well, we've got things to do.

What things?

Well, I didn't tell the others but... we've lost the TARDIS!

We can't have done.

It was outside - it's not there now.

You mean somebody's stolen it?

I don't know, but that's what we're going to find out! Come on!