Doctor Who (1963–1989): Season 4, Episode 16 - The Highlanders: Episode 2 - full transcript

Polly and Kirsty capture Lieutenant Ffinch to try and enlist his help while the Doctor tricks Gray in order to escape.

Sincro: wyxchari




It's yourself!

Oh, you! Of course it's myself. Who did you think it was?

I thought a redcoat had fallen into the animal trap.

By the look on your face I'm glad it wasn't. Come on. Help me out of here.

Well, look, give me your hand then.

Wait a minute, I can't...

Well, come on.


I'm pulling!

Are you hurt?

Oh, no. Just a... a wee bruise or two and lots of dirt. Now we're both trapped.

No we're not! Even your dour Scots lassies must have played piggy-back.

What? I don't understand.

Well, you bend down and I climb on top of you and scramble up. Look, I'll show you.


Bend down here a minute. All right. Why can't you...


You okay?

Quick, will ye! You're no light weight. Oh, go on. Hurry! Come on.

Shh! There's a light. Soldiers!

Redcoats? Oh, we're cornered.

No we're not. They'll soon pass.

Halt! You dolt.

Couldn't catch a couple of wenches, could you? Call yourselves soldiers? The terror of the Highlands? You wouldn't frighten an one-armed dairy maid.

Well, I've done enough walking for one day. Go and fetch my horse. If you're not back within one hour, three-hundred lashes apiece. Imbeciles! Give the lantern to me. I don't want to be left here in the dark. Right then. March!

He's staying there!

Oh, not again! Didn't the women of your age do anything but cry?


It doesn't matter. Listen, I've got an idea. Since our officer has so obligingly parked himself outside our pit, we'll lure him in to join us.

Oh, glory!

We'll be able to deal with him. Now, this is what we are gonna do...


What's that?

Move and I'll blow your brains out.

She will too, so you better keep still. I'm going to take the sash for his feet and you take the belt for his wrists.

Outrageous! Do you know that for assaulting a King's Officer you could...

I know. But you're not in charge now. The next thing is his pockets.

Och, no!

Look, he's probably got money and we need it.

You can't mean to rob me!

Look, you and your kind have robbed our glens! Look, he's got...

...he's got food. Chicken and bread.

Great! Now, my gallant officer...

I've done you no harm!

'Tis no thanks to you that my father and Jamie weren't hanged. They're probably rotting in gaol in Inverness by now.

Look after him, mate. He'll be all right. Okay, mate, okay. Take it easy, take it easy. Sit down.

We don't know yet.

A right rat hole this is, isn't it?

Oh, King George has worse than this, never fear.

Yeah, well, I'm glad Polly's out of it. Why did we ever get mixed up in this, Doctor?

I'm glad we did. I'm just beginning to enjoy myself. Down with King George!

Silence you Jacobite pigs. You don't want to feel this bayonet?

Oh, enjoy yourselves. So you are for the Prince after all?

No, not really. I just like hearing the echo, that's all. Let's have a look at his wound, shall we?

Would you not be letting him now?

With care that'll heal.

Och, here's you saying you're a doctor, you've not even bled him yet.

What's he on about?


Yeah, but that's stupid.

It's the only way of curing the sick.

Killing him, more like. He's lost enough blood already.

Oh, Isis and Osiris, is it meet? Aquarius, Aries, Taurus...

Oh, aye.

Now what are you mumbling about?

Whist, man.

Gemini and Taurus. When was the Laird born?

In the fifth month.

That's what I thought. Now, blood letting must wait until Taurus is in the ascendant. So it is willed.

You don't believe all that codswallop, do you?

Of course I do! So does he. He's never heard of germs.

What was that word?

It's a secret word.

Yeah, germs, all around us.

Used by German doctors.

Oh, Ger-man. Germs.

Yes. Have you got a handkerchief, Ben?

Yeah, here.


Och, that wee lassie's 'kerchief? Here, Doctor, use mine.

Thank you. Just a fresh dressing.

Hello, what's this?

Prince Charlie's personal standard.

Well what's he doing with it?

Protecting it! Now put it back will ye. If a sentry saw it...

No wait!

What are you doing?

What chance do you think he has of evading the gallows with this on him?


Besides, it's really rather nice and warm. Let's have a tune to cheer us all up.

Yeah, I didn't think we'd heard the last of that.


Whist, man!

Well, you're a loyal Jacobite, aren't you? This is your tune. Come on everybody, join in.

Silence, I say! I warned you rebels once! Now we'll see what a touch of the bayonet will do.

Now then! You!

Ah, thank heavens. Did you hear that tune?

Heard a rebel dirge.

They were singing it to drive me m... out of my mind. As I'm a loyal subject to King George the Second!

Now what's that got to do with me?

They know of a plot to murder your general, the Duke of Cumberland.


Oh come off it, Doctor!

I knew he was not one of us!

Take me to solicitor Grey. Perhaps we're in time to prevent it!

Why didn't you speak about this before?

Well, it's only just discovered! That rogue is party to it!

Well done, mate.

What do you mean? Why don't you go and join your friend?

Oh, calm down. Can't you see it was all a fiddle?


Well, a trick. A ruse, to get out of here.

I don't understand you.

Oh, blimey, look. Outside he's got a chance to get away and rescue us. What chance do you think he's got paddling around in here?

Aye, nevertheless, I'm still worried.

Now don't you worry about him, mate. Worry about us. See that line?

Well that's where the water level comes up to, and tonight is not my bath night.

...seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty. Twenty guineas. How far do you think it will get us?

I've never seen so much money in all my days.

You'll both hang for this, you know?

You're very fond of hanging, aren't you Mr... Hey, what's your name?

I refuse to tell you.

Oh, we're very brave all of a sudden. Watch him, Kirsty. He must have some form of... Aha, yes.

Algernon Thomas Alfred Ffinch. Two 'f's! Lieutenant in the Honourable Colonel Atwood's Rifles. So, I bet the Colonel would be highly interested to hear how his Lieutenant 'F'-finch was captured by two girls.

You would not tell.

Oh, wouldn't we! Give me the knife, Kirsty.

What are you going to do?

Never fear, Algernon Thomas 'F'-finch, we're just after a small souvenir, that's all.

There we are, this piece of hair and this disk will be proof enough. In case the Colonel doesn't believe us.

But... but why do we need an ally in the enemy camp?

And I think we've found one. Right, Algernon?

It's sheer blackmail!

Right again. Come on, Kirsty, let's go before his officer soldiers get back. Bye bye, Algy dear. We'll be seeing you in Inverness. Come on, Kirsty. Up you go. All right?

Oh no. I...

Well, lawyer, my old cattle boat's ready for its livestock.

Belay there! What in thunder are you laughing at?

It will be no laughing matter for any of us if we are caught, I can assure you. That is why we must begin loading the prisoners tonight.


Before the judges are ready to try the rebels, we'll have them all safely on plantations.

Arh. A Highlander will do twice the work of one of your black slaves.

At least twice.

Who asked for your opinion?

Silence, Captain! I will not have my clerk bullied. I have enough evidence on you to send you to the gallows ten times over. And don't you forget it!

Come in! Well?

One of the prisoners, sir. He insists on seeing you. Says he has some important information about a plot against the Duke's life, sir.

Why come to me?

Says he won't speak to no one else but you, sir.

Which prisoner is it?

The German doctor, sir.

Ah, interesting. Bring him in at once!


Well man, what are you waiting... Perkins.

Now, gentlemen, I suggest you start loading the prisoners at once. Here is your warrant.

And to avoid comment, you better take them the back way.

The prisoner, sir.

Perkins. Trask.

Auf Wiederseh'n.


You may go.


Now, Doctor - your story. I hope it is an entertaining one. It has cost me a silver shilling. Very well then, what is the nature of this plot?

There is no plot.

Have a care, Doctor. You waste my time at your peril.

Would the chance to lay your hands on ?15,000 be a waste of your time?

What would a vagabond like you know of such a sum, pray?

The personal standard of Prince Charles Edward.


Whoever was entrusted with this standard stood closest to the councils of the Prince, you would agree?


He would also know where the Prince was most likely to run to.

Which prisoner carried this standard?

That must remain my secret for the time being.

There are ways to force your tongue.

But why employ them, since we are both on the same side? The ?30,000 reward for the capture of the Prince is surely enough to satisfy both of us.

Arh, you have some fresh information as to his whereabouts?

I am on the track of some, but I need a free hand.


Don't cry out. I'm not very expert with these things and it just might go off in your face. Turn around and put your hands behind you.

You'll pay for this!

Just keep very still. There, now turn around.

Why, great heavens, man, your throat.


It's so swollen. Does it hurt you?

No of course not.

Say "ahh".



Ahh. Oh!

I've never seen a silent lawyer before.

Would you mind just, ah, waiting in here? Another patient, you understand?


Oh, ah, pardon, I thought that...

You thought what?

The, ah... the Solicitor?

Your master is a very sick man. He's gone to lie down. It lucky for him I was called in time.

Well, great heavens man, your eyes!


Your eyes. Come over here, to the light. Your eyes, man.

You suffer from headaches?

No I don't.


Oh dear. No headaches?

Well, uh. Oh!

Oh dear. You call me a liar?

Well, no, no, no, no. Me head does ache.

Of course it does, what did you expect? Your eyes.

M... m... me eyes! W... w... what did you find?

Print blindness. You read too much.

Well, t'is true, I'm a clerk. What must I do?

You must rest them, for at least an hour.

But, I...

That is my prescription. Ignore it at your peril! Now, lie down on the table. That's right. And put this over your eyes and rest them for at least an hour.

What's that knocking?

Knocking, it's not knocking, it's in your mind. In your eyes. Now rest your eyes, and the knocking will grow fainter, and fainter, and fainter. One hour, remember.

One hour, Doctor. One hour.



Where are you sir? I can't quite see you.

I'm down here, man!

Oh, there you are, sir.

What took you so long, you jackanapes?

Well, we made the best time we could in the dark, sir. It's hard to see our way, you see?

Well don't just stand there. Get me out of this infernal hole!

All right you two, I'll handle this. You go and stand guard by the Lieutenant's horse.

Well, come on, man. Help me out!

Well, it's, ah... it's very deep, sir.

Get me out at once or I'll order you five hundred lashes apiece!

Oh, don't misunderstand me, sir. I'm willing enough to try, but you see, ah... we're not used to pulling officers out of pits.

Confound it, man, what are you jabbering about?

Well, I mean to say, sir, you see, ah... Officers don't usually fall into pits.

You'll regret this, Sergeant.

Ah, ah, this isn't me, sir. You see, it's the men I'm thinking about. I mean, they're not used to it, like. I mean, ah, they're going to be very slow, sir. And they're going to be very dry.

I see! Well, here's some money to drink with and I hope it chokes you!

Stab me. You'll, ah, get it when we return to Inverness. Well, for the last time, man, get me out of here.

We've started shipping them across.

What in thunder?

I'm resting me eyes.

Damn your eyes. Where's your master?

The Doctor says he must rest too.


Now what have we here then? A pretty sight you look, lawyer. And what might this be a cure for - St. Vitus's Dance?

Oh, release me you fool.

You let him escape!

Well, I didn't know. I... i... it's me head.

One more such folly, t'will need no further cures.

The Prince's standard!

Aye, he used that to trick me with. He won't get far. Perkins, summon the watch! And you, get those prisoners aboard before the soldiers get here.


Mollie, where are ye?

All right, all right.


Quist your noise, I'm coming.

There must be some grub around here somewhere.

That's two of them, and room for one more. Here!

Oi, you, come on.

He's done for.

The next one, you swarb.

You. You'll do.

Out with the others.

Come on, all three of you. Outside! Move!

Pipe down there, you swine. Pipe down there, you hear?

Now look lively!


Watch your feet, you swarb. Out of the way you. Right, open up.

Come on through. Get a move on, now. Get lively.

Where's your friend?

Polly? I don't know. Safe, I hope.

And Kirsty too, they're well out of it. But I mean the Doctor.

I dunno. He'll be here though, don't worry.

Yeah, in a wee moment it'll just be too late.

Silence, you two! Unless ye wants a taste of this!

Right, you're all going down there. Right, Pat, down he goes.

Right, Mr. Trask, that's the lot.

Well, where are you taking us?

You'll find out soon enough.

You've not a mind to drown us, have you?

Ha! Wouldn't pollute the firth with ye. Get in the boat.

Quick, we can make a break for it and swim!

I can't swim.

Now you tell me.

In the boat! Right, off.

All right, Fred. Come on, let's move.

But, officer...

Go away will you.

I've bought a wee drop of broth for Mr. Trask.

Well, he's not here, miss. He's gone. He's not here.

Will you have it officer? It's a pity to waste a nice hot broth.

Oh, all right, I'll have it. It's a cold night outside anyway.

What are you looking at? There's not enough here for two. Go on, get back to your post! Go! Move!

Belay there, you swabs! In case you're thinking of escaping, there's Jim Mews for ye.

He didn't find it an happy ship, so I'll find him another berth where he'll be happy!

Once aboard the Anabelle, that's the only way you'll get off her. Straight downwards! Arh.