Doctor Who (1963–1989): Season 3, Episode 42 - The War Machines: Episode 1 - full transcript

The Doctor and Dodo return to London in the present day where the Doctor becomes concerned about WOTAN, a new super-computer installed in the Post Officer Tower.

Subtitles by BeKh4t

Well I suppose you know
where you are my dear ?

London. Home !

It's marvellous to be back,
it seems ages since I left.

When you've seen the ages that I have
you won't use that term quite so freely !

Anyway I don't think
it's been all that long.

What's that for ?

Ah well, the problem is ; coming back
to the twentieth century my dear,

the TARDIS, I'm afraid, is often
mistaken for the real Police-Box !

I see what you mean.

Yes, and fortunately
he can't get in !

If only he could ! Scotland Yard
whipped off into time and space !

So that's it !

What ? Oh the tower. It's finished !

Isn't that interesting,
very interesting.

It's great isn't it.

Stephen would have liked it here.

You know there's something alien
about that tower, I can sense it !

Smells okay to me,
good old London smoke !

I... can, I can feel i... it's got
something, a sort of powerful is...

Look at my skin ! Look at that !
I've got that pricking sensange...

that sensation again, the same... just
as I had when I saw the Thalics...

those Daleks were near !

Daleks, who are they ?

Oh yes of course you,
you didn't meet them did you, child ?

No, and I pray that you never will !

I really must investigate it !

- Things are running alright ?
- Good !

It is a splendid view certainly,
I think you'll enjoy it.

Doctor look at it !
Isn't it terrific !

Ah Professor Brett !

Ah, Doctor !

I understand from Major Green that you're
a specialist in computer development ?

Well... hardly a specialist sir,
but I dabble, yes, I dabble.

Oh, so that's what it is !

I beg your pardon ?

Yes, you know I had a very strong
sense of energy outside this building

a sort of magnetic pull if you like.

It was most unusual, so I presume
that's what it must have been !

It is indeed Doctor.

It's my life's work, Doctor.

Most ingenious.

I think I can go so far
as to say that it's the...

only one of it's kind in existence, it's
at least ten years ahead of it's time.

- Is that so ?
- What makes it so special ?

Well miss... ?

Oh... my secretary, Dodo Chaplet.

Well Miss Chaplet, I'll explain.

This is perhaps not the biggest computer in the
world, but it's certainly the most advanced.

It can handle scientific problems well outside
the range of any other computer in existence.

We are about to link this up with computers
all over the world as a central intelligence.

A sort of problem solver.

I don't understand.

Well perhaps it'll
be clearer tonight.

Tonight sir ?

Yes, of course. Press conference.
I thought your visit... ?

Oh yes of course my dear fellow,
yes, Dodo ?

Oh, all that's very exciting.


Look, this is my secretary, Polly.

- Hello Polly.
- How do you do

Now Polly's pretty smart,
a cracking typist, right ?

Also rather a cheeky one at times.

Well now this machine,
which I call WOTAN.

You call what ?

"Vo-tan." Spelt W-O-T-A-N.
Will Operating Thought Analogue.

Yes quite.

Yes, well now, WOTAN can not only think faster
than Polly or myself, it can also type faster.

True ?

I afraid so ! And it never
makes mistakes, wretched thing !

Are you seriously telling me sir, that you
have invented a machine that can think ?


- And never makes mistakes ?
- Never.

I take it that I speak into here.

Yes, that's right.

What is the square route of 14722 ?

Correct ?

One moment please...

131.993. Yes, that's near
enough... yes it's truly remarkable !

- May I try it now ?
- Certainly, go ahead.

Now let's see you funny
looking contraption...

Here's one you'll never get...

What does the word TARDIS mean ?

Doctor ?

Well, what did it say my dear ?

Got it right - Time And
Relative Dimensions In Space !

Good heavens ! Let me see.

Well now, how would it know that ?

WOTAN knows a lot I don't know.

There's something else
I can tell you Miss Chaplet...

What's up here ?

Dodo !

Pardon ?

What's the matter my dear,
are you alright ?

Oh yes !
Ah, just a buzzing in me ears.

Oh. Just sit down a moment.

Now tell me sir, now tell me.
What part does this play ?

Oh, that's the usual memory bank.

I see ! And here of course is
the programme regimentator ?

Yes, but in this case,
a slightly different one.

Yes, I wonder...

- Are you feeling better now ?
- Oh, fine, thank you.

Good ! Polly'll look after you.

Is this your first time in London ?

Oh no ! It feels like it though.
I'm so out of touch !

What I'd really like is to go to
the hottest night-spot in town.

Oh well that's easy, the Inferno...

Hello Polly, love.
Oh, am I glad to see you !

Kitty, this is Dodo. Dodo, Kitty.

- Hello.
- Hi Dodo.

Polly you're just the person I need !
Will you help me ?

Oh here we go again !
Not that I mind helping people.

Well, what is it then ?

When you were here last week, do you
remember a sailor at the end of the bar ?

Not especially, why ?

He's been here ever since. Poor lad he
just sits there at the end of the bar.

... Look out, here he comes now.

See ? He's no great advertisement for
the most "with it" place in town is he ?

Couldn't you cheer
him up just a little ?

Alright Kitty leave it to us.

Stand by Dodo,
this looks like a rescue mission

the Navy's in trouble ! Excuse me.

Well hello,
we met the other night - remember ?

Oh yeah... I think I do.

You think you do ?
Oh I must have made a big impression !

- Oh no, it's not that...
- Well what is it then ?

It must be something pretty big,
not to have noticed me.

- Ah, I'm sorry.
- He says he's sorry !

Look, there's no law against
sittin'here is there ?!

Well there should be when you've got that
look on your face ! Look, I'll show you.

- Is it as bad that then ?
- Worse !

So spill the beans sailor,
give us the fax, what's your problems ?

Ah, you wouldn't understand.
You'd think I'm some kind of a nut.

Well try us.

Well it's my ship see,

it's gone off to the West Indies
and I've got a shore posting.

In barracks for six months !

And you miss the swaying palms,
the white beaches, the blue sea...

Very funny !
If you've finished cheering me up...

Come on Dodo, let's leave him, I can't
stand people with no sense of humour.

Why don't you try me ?

I've got a great sense of humour,
anything for a giggle.

Please take your arm away.

Oh come on darlin',
I know your type.

You'd have a better time with
me than with ol'shorty there.

- Wos'that ?!
- Oh geeet lost !

Look let her go !

Look, go and play with
your toy boats half-pint !

I said let go of her !

Just you try it mate,
I'll chop you in little bits !

What's all this ?!

One of you customers wants to go home.

You wanna be careful
who you encourage !

Why you conceited little... !

Oh now Polly,
he was just trying to help.

Thank you ?

Ben. Ben Jackson.

Gentleman, ladies,
may I have your attention please ?

Well, you're heard the backroom boys,
now it's about time you my turn.

C-Day, that is Computer Day will be next
Monday, July 16th - that is in four days time.

Now on that date all the computer systems in
this country and subsequently in the whole world

will come under the control of this
central computer which we call WOTAN.

As you've heard this will have both
peaceful and military implications.

I need hardly tell you that this is a great
step forward for Britain, and indeed I may say,

for the whole world.

Now, have you got any questions ?

- Roy Stone, the New York Sketch.
- Fire away.

Sir, doesn't this put a great deal of power
into the hands of whoever operates WOTAN ?

No-one operates WOTAN.
WOTAN operates itself.

The computer is merely a brain which thinks
logically without any political or private ends ;

it is pure thought.

It makes calculations, it supplies only
the truth. It has no imaginative powers.

Is there no way of fixing it
so it can give the wrong answers ?

There would be no point.

Now don't forget that a computer
like WOTAN is not a human being.

Oh, but surely...

It has no reason to suppress the truth,
it has no emotions.

It is our soul.

It seems to me, by the way you're talking that this
machine can think for itself like a human being !

It can.

Only much more accurately.

... but sir, I mean, isn't this
kinda risky ? Y'know ? I mean,

I suppose it decides it can
do without people, what then ?

I hardly think it'll come to that.
I think that Professor Brett

and his team will have
the machine well under control.

Where the devil is Brett ?

He should have met
me here an hour ago.

- Well give him a buzz, there's a good fellow.
- Yes, alright.

Now gentlemen I must apologise for
the absence of Professor Brett.

I'm sure he'll be along in a moment
or two if you will just bear with us.

It is, after all, his show.

I have to go I now I am already very late
for an important meeting. Goodnight !

You wanted something Professor ?

- Have you been here all day Major ?
- Yes of course.

Are you sure that this
building's properly screened ?

If you have any complaints... !

I have. There's someone in
this part of the building.

I'm sorry sir, not at all possible.

We have the complete security check on
this section of the tower day and night.

- Are you sure ?
- Positive.

It's funny...

I've had a feeling all
day of someone there ;

someone listening to me,
watching me.

Ah, there is only the two of us
in this part of the tower, sir.

I suppose you must be right.

I'm sorry Major,
I must be getting tired.

Ah that's alright.

Oh, will you be working
late tonight professor ?

No good heavens,
I must be off I'm late.

- Thank you Major.
- Goodnight sir.

This is ridiculous,
I must be imagining things.

It's quite ridiculous !

What do you want ?

... I don't think so, I can't.

Oh, hello there,
bright and breezy now are we ?

- Steady sailor.
- Watch it !

- Same again girls ?
- Oh no. -Thank you.

Polly you're a wonder !
How do you do it ?

Oh it's just a knack you know, anytime
you want a bit of brightness in your life,

come to Pol !
Mind you, he's a special case.

You can have a job
here anytime you like !

I've already got a very good one,

What's the matter Dodo ?

I dunno...

I've had some sort of a headache
ever since I left your office.

Headache ?

Some sort of... high pitched.

Oh, it's gone again now.
I'm alright, really.

Oh good.
Do you fink I could'ave another dance ?

Oh here we go !

Well gentlemen and ladies,
if there are no more questions ?

I really am very sorry about
the absence of Professor Brett.

I'm sure that it must have been something very
important that prevented him from coming...

Ah, Professor Brett !

Gentlemen, I am sorry I was not
able to attend, it was unavoidable.

Well now that you're here perhaps
you'll talk to the gentlemen...

I want to speak to
Professor Krimpton.

- I beg your pardon ?!
- They've been waiting...

It's urgent. Professor Krimpton.

- See me now ?
- Immediately if you don't mind.

- Are you alright Brett ?
- Quite alright thank you.

- Well, it is the computer then ?
- No.

- Professor Brett.
- I'm Roy Stone the New York Sketch, sir...

- No comment.
- This way Professor Krimpton.

- But I have... I have unanswered questions, I...
- Now, can you confirm that.. ?

Now I'm very sorry gentlemen,
but that seems to be it.

I would like to thank of
you all for your time...

- Sir Charles ?
- Thank you.

Excuse me, are you the Doctor that
Professor Brett telephoned me about ?

Yes I am Sir Charles.

Ah, well I'm glad
that you could come along.

I wonder what on Earth's got into him
this evening ? His manner was very odd.

Yes... Very odd, very odd indeed.
Perhaps he was overworking ?

Who was that little man, Krimpton ?

Oh electronics fellow,
one of our top men...

Come to think of it electronics !

Perhaps there is something wrong with
WOTAN and he didn't want to let it out ?

That would explain it wouldn't it ?

Look, I'm terribly sorry but would you
excuse me, I think I'd better go and check.

Kennedy ?
Will you look after the Doctor for me ?

I wonder...

I wonder...

I understand.

Hello, Inferno.

What ?

Who ?

Speak up !

Oh right, yes I'll get her.

Dodo, it's for you !

Hello ?

Yes, who is it ?

Hello, who is this ? Hello !


Yes, I understand.

Brett !

I must say it's rather odd to break up a meeting
like that and drag me off at this time of night !

I had no choice Krimpton.

No choice ? Now what do you mean ?

You will soon understand.

Now look here Brett !

I'll stay a couple of minutes,

I think it's a bit much.

Nothing is too much.

What are you talking about ? What's
the matter with you this evening ?

Has the computer broken down ?

On the contrary,
it's we who have broken down !

We have failed.

- We have failed ?
- We've reached a standstill.

We cannot develop the Earth any further.
Further progress is impossible.

What do you mean impossible ?

That is the conclusion
reached by WOTAN.

Are you joking ? This machine
is hardly in a position to...

I'm not joking.

WOTAN has decided that the world cannot
progress further with mankind running it.

Oh really, and what does WOTAN propose
to do about it, take over from us ?

From now on, we are to serve.

And if we choose not to,
mankind will be eliminated ?

If it is necessary.

You've been working
too hard old chap.

You've gone completely
off your rocker !

You cannot escape.

Oh dear.

Oh Major, thank heavens you're here.

He's round the bend.

He's gone mad !

He is not mad Professor Krimpton.

Let me out of here !

You must wait.

I refuse to be kept ! I refuse to !

Don't touch that !

You can't leave me here,
I'll get... I'll...

No, it's not possible !

No, I don't believe it !

I won't work for you !

I'm human !

There's nothing more
important than human life.

Machines cannot govern man !

I will not...

What do you want ?

Where's your friend then,
can't see her anywhere.

I don't know, surely she wouldn't
have left without a word to us ?

I shouldn't think so,
she seemed a nice bird - friendly.

Not stuck-up like you, Duchess.

Look, don't call me Duchess.
I'm worried about Dodo.

I'm... supposed to be looking after her,
you know, she-showing her around.

You, that's a laugh.

Well, it is our night for surprises !
What does he want in here ?

- Oh, it's the Doctor.
- You know him ?

He's Dodo's boss.

He looks like that disk-jockey !

I thought I'd find you both here.

Oh, I hope Dodo and yourself
have enjoyed yourselves.

Have one on the house Doctor !

It isn't every day we get
the over-twenties in this place.

Oh I dig your fab gear !

Fab gear. Who is your friend ?

He's not exactly a friend,
I've just met him. His name is Ben

Ben, the Doctor.

- Hello sir
- Yes, delighted my boy. I don't see Dodo about.

I'm afraid she's gone.

Eh ? Gone, gone where, child ?

Well that's it, she came past the phone about
half an hour ago, and we haven't seen her since.

There is one special human
brain that WOTAN needs.

The task of leading this brain here to serve
WOTAN will be an extremely delicate matter.

It has been arranged.

Someone is coming ?

The fourth member,
called here to receive orders.

The Doctor's secretary.

What are my instructions ?