Doctor Who (1963–1989): Season 24, Episode 9 - Delta and the Bannermen: Part One - full transcript

The Bannermen have successfully wiped out all but the last of the Chimeron - Delta, the queen, no less. She escapes with an egg and boards an intergalactic bus of Navarino vacationers heading for 1959 Earth to visit Disneyland. On that bus is Mel, followed closely by the Doctor in his TARDIS.

Take no prisoners! Kill them all!

-Are you strong enough to?
-Run where?

They've firebombed every ship we have.

Then we'll have to take one of theirs.


I'll cover the hatch.

You are the last survivor.

But not for long.

Get away.

Take this with you.

Toll port G7 15,
please have your credits ready.

Toll port G7 15.

Toll port G7 15.

Now, I don't like the look of this
one little bit.

Me, too. It's spooky.

Get ready to run back to the TARDIS
at the first sign of trouble.



Who's there?

Surprise, surprise!

Welcome, friends. A thousand welcomes.

It's a funny way
to welcome your friends.

We thought you'd been
attacked by space pirates.

-Now, about this toll fee...
-Toll fee?

Tonight is your lucky night.

You are our 10 billionth customer.

Did you say 10 billion people
have come here?


-Now, about this toll fee...
-But...but you've won.

You've won the grand prize.

But what is it?
I've never won anything before.

You have won a fabulous '50s tour.

A week, a whole week,
in Disneyland, Planet Earth.

And this time
they're going back to 1959.

-The rock 'n' roll years.
-Oh, that's fantastic.

Oh, let's go, Doctor. Please agree.

Hello. Will you put me through to
the White House, Washington D.C.?

This is a priority call, Code 11.

Hello, this is Agent Jerome P Weismuller
speaking from Wales in England.

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

Oh, oh, yes, sir.
We'll get right on it, sir.


That was the President's right-hand man.

Come on, Weismuller, spill the beans.
Why the red alert?

He says that Cape Canaveral
has fired a space rocket

with an artificial satellite.

This is history in the making,

What are we supposed to do about it?

Surveillance, Hawk, surveillance.

We've been selected.
It's our job to track the thing.

Are we going to have a whole
space cruiser to ourselves?

Oh, no. You're going on a scheduled tour

with the Navarinos' 1950s club.

Navarinos from the tribe
called the Navarro,

squat, wrinkly, purplely creatures?

Won't they be a little
conspicuous on Earth?

Oh, I don't think so.

Not now, they've been through
a transformation arch.

-Who's that?
-Oh, that's Murray, your pilot.

Oh, this is going to be
very interesting.

What is?

Nostalgia Trips, the most notorious
travel firm in the five galaxies.

It was a Nostalgia Trip cruiser
that got stuck

with the glass eaters of Tharl.

Oh, dear.

Yes, well, they may have had
one or two little problems in the past,

but that's all sorted out now.

But the brochure shows
a space cruiser, not an old bus.

Old bus?
This a very expensive conversion.

The chassis and the engine,
they're from a Hellstrom II,

the very latest thing in space cruisers.

The old-fashioned bodywork,
well that's just to please the tourists.

We're not fools, you know.

I've been through that thing a
hundred times and I still don't like it.

Oh, welcome aboard. I'm Murray.

I'm Mel and this is the Doctor.

That's great. Knowing Nostalgia Trips,
we may need a doctor.

Come on, folks, all aboard!

Mel, you go ahead on the bus.
I'll follow on in the TARDIS.


Oh, you don't think
the old bus will make it, Doctor.

Underneath this streamliner shell
is a Hellstrom Fireball engine.

There's none finer.

Come along, folks. All aboard! Have fun!

Remember your time: 1959.

You cannot escape me.
Wherever you go, I will track you down.

My people will survive, Gavrok.

You are the last.

Turn back.
There is nowhere you can hide.

She somehow switched off
the homing trace. Visual pursuit.

Copy her vector.

We're overshooting, fool.

She went into that space toll.

Attention, incoming craft. Your...

Please keep your seats during the flight and no dancing in the aisles.

Now, are we all feeling fine?


- All right! 1959, here we come!

That better? Do you hear anything yet?

No, no...


All I get is something called Housewive's Choice.

I can't even get any rock and roll!

No signal from the satellite?


Come on down. You try!

I tell you, it's hopeless, Hawk. That thing could be anywhere.

Come on now, all of you sing!

-Do you often do the '50s run?
-Uh-huh. I love that sort of thing.

Music, the haircuts, the baggy suits...

# We're gonna rock around
the clock tonight

# We're gonna rock, rock, rock,
till broad daylight #

Where are you from?

You're not a late arrival from
the Navarino party, are you?

No. I'm a Chimeron.

Forget it, Weismuller, without those
coordinates, we're shooting in the dark.

I am not making that call
and that's that.

The boss said we were
to share everything.

That includes responsibility, you know.

Let me tell you something.

If they think we fouled up, they'll be
ringing us every five minutes.

Now you go ahead and make that call.

Hello, Agent Weismuller speaking.

Oh, no, sir. No, no nothing yet.

Oh gee, that's too bad.


Oh, oh, yes, sir.

Yes, we'll do our very best, sir.

Thank you.

What's up?

Bad news.

That satellite has gone haywire.

And the scientists think it's going to
fall to Earth somewhere around here.

Keep calm, folks.

We're just experiencing
a little bit of technical difficulty.

Oh, thanks, Doctor.

We ran into this piece of space junk.
What did you do?

Well, I simply applied
the TARDIS vortex drive

to generate an antigravity spiral
to halt your descent.

Sorry about the bumpy landing.
A miscalculation.

We could sure use a guy
like you at head office.

The satellite seems to have
jammed your navigational pod.

Ah, hello, Mel. Nice trip?

Hey, this doesn't look like Disneyland.

No. Well, according to my reckoning,
it seems to be somewhere in Wales.

We've got to do something with all
these people till we get the bus fixed.

Maybe that series of primitive dwellings

could be used as
some sort of way station.

It's a holiday camp.

Excellent, just what we're looking for.

Oh, but Doctor, it looks...
I don't know, it looks a bit grim.

Oh, don't go by appearances, Mel.

Often the most interesting people
stay at these places.

This is the real '50s.

Oh, hello.

Expected you hours ago.

Trouble with the bus, is it?
Oh, it happens all the time.

Still you're not far from the chalets.

Do you mind if we can rest at the camp
till we get the bus shipshape?

Mind, my dear boy?
That is what we are here for.

Welcome, campers.

I am your camp leader while
you're here at Shangri-La.

My name is Burton and if
there's anything you need, just ask.

Follow me, isn't it?

That's right, folks, follow Burton.

He'll look after you
until the cruiser's ready to roll.

Thank you very much. Thank you.

Now, follow me.

Welcome to Shangri-La
where your dreams come true.

Now, you will all be sharing cabins,
but we eat together.

Over there is the dining hall
with the shower block behind.

Breakfast is at 8:00, lunch is at 1:00,

and supper is at 6:00. Any questions?

Splendid. Right, you two, follow me
and I'll show you to your chalet.

Right, you will find a list of our
rules and regulations behind the door.

Any questions? Splendid.

Not that it really makes much difference
but which bed would you like?

I don't really mind.
One's about as good as the other.

Oh, look, your chalet is 101 in Row Y.

Oh, if you need any help with the bus,

I'm sure our young mechanic
will be pleased to assist.

I'll see you at lunch, is it?

-Hi, I'm Billy.
-Oh, Murray.

I'm the Doctor.

Old man Burton said there was something
wrong with your bus. Is that right?

Well, we hit this low orbital satellite,

which jammed the navi-pod
and here we are.

Look, I can see something's
bothering you.

-Do you want to talk about it?

Ah, this is the cause of the problem.

An extremely crude
low orbital satellite,

capable only of the most rudimentary
radio transmissions.

Ah, thanks, Doctor.

I've got to fill in an
accident report otherwise

head office would withdraw my licence.
As it is, it's touch and go.

I've never seen an engine like that.

Ah, yeah, it's a Hellstrom Fireball,
capable of warp 5 in a good tail wind.

What exactly is it you wanna do?

Well, do you see that navi-pod?
It needs to be unbolted,

-so we can replace the broken crystal.

Now, inside this box

is the only Quarb crystal this side of
Softel Nebula.

Thank goodness you came along, Doctor.

Head office says it's my last chance
to make good.

Ah, well done.


Carefully does it.

-Hi, Billy.
-Oh, hi, Rachel.

This is Murray and the Doctor.

Please call me Ray.
Oh, do you guys want a hand?

You haven't by chance got
a one and five eighths socket, have you?

Do you always carry around
a full set of tools with you?

Oh, it's what Billy taught me,
always to be prepared.

A stitch in time fills up space.

Oh, I've broken it.

Your crystal.
No licence, no job, no future.

If you think it might help, I could
transport everyone in the TARDIS.

No, thank you, Doctor.

-The captain never leaves his ship.

Well, there is another alternative.

I could accelerate growth
in the thermo-booster

and create a crystal in about 24 hours.

That's fantastic.
You saved my life, Doctor.

I can't see any problem
staying here for 24 hours.

Oh, great.
I'll see you all at the dance then.

-A dance with...with live music?

-Billy here plays great rock 'n' roll.
-Sounds too good to miss!

Okay, see you later, alligator.

-What's that?
-It's the dinner gong.

I think I'll finish unpacking later.
I'll go and get something to eat.

-Can you be trusted?
-Yes, completely.

Discretion's my middle name.

I'll see you later.

Come on, son.

Tell me the destination
and I will let you live.

I can't. It's more than my job's worth.
It's strictly confidential.

I'm getting tired of this. Tell me now.

They were going... They were going
to Disneyland, Planet Earth.

When they struck the satellite,
they were blown off course.

I don't know where.

-Can you not do better than that?
-Honestly, I don't know.

I can see that you have done your best.

Let him go.

Thank you. Oh, thank you.
Thank you, thank you, sir.

Thank you. Thank you, gentlemen.
Thank you, thank you.

We've wasted enough time here.

Plot a course for Earth.

I want every informer throughout
the galaxy to look for her.

-Doctor, there's something odd here.
-Well, it is home, for the moment.

At least till the navi-pod's fixed.
Personally speaking, I rather like it.

I'm determined to try and enjoy myself,
if I can.


-About your roommate...
-She's got a gun.

She's very on edge.

Have you managed to speak to her at all?

Of course, but she's totally withdrawn.

It makes me nervous.

If she's who I think she is, then she's in danger.

From someone here?

That's what we've got to find out.

Well, this is to remind you that tonight we are having our 'Get To Know You' dance.


What do you think of it, Doctor?

I built it myself from spare parts from the war.

How appropriate!


I said, for a primitive piece of technology, it certainly delivers the decibels.

That's what rock and roll's all about!

Hey, this is great!

The 1950 nights back on Navarro
were never like this.

See, Doctor, it's not as bad
as all that now, is it?

Bad, no. Rather nice, in fact.

Oh, let's go down to the front.
I can't see Billy properly from here.

-Have you known each other long?
-Oh, since we were children.

I even learnt all about motorbikes,
in the hope it'd make him notice me.

But it doesn't seem to have made
a blind bit of difference.

Come on, let's go down to the front.

Thanks, mates.

And now a romantic number
from across the pond.

For a very special lady in the audience.

Why do fools fall in love?

-I was wondering, Ray, if...
-Thank you, Doctor, I'd love to.

# Why do fools fall in love? #

Throw some more wood on the fire, Hawk.

Why don't you, Weismuller?

Because you're nearer to the flap, Hawk.

Go on, go on, go on. Get out of here.

I'll get you, Weismuller. I'll get you.

Great dance.

It's hot in there.

Ah, you Navarinos have a notoriously
high metabolic rate.

That hula hoop competition
nearly finished me off.

Excuse me, Murray.

Hey, you'll miss the last dance, Doctor!

# I'm so alone #

Oh, hi.

I was just...

Oh, Doctor, am I being a fool?

Billy didn't even offer to take me home.

There, there.

There's many a slap twixt
a cup and a lap, Ray.

But somehow I always thought
Billy and me would end up together.

Oh, it shows how wrong you can be.

Oh, listen to me.

We're not supposed to be in here.

Connect me with the Bannermen leader.

Gavrok here. Go ahead.

I understand you're offering
a reward for the Chimeron queen.

One million units.

I've found her.

She's at a place called Shangri-La,
in south Wales.

Western Hemisphere, Earth.

Now lock into this signal
to guide you in.

The reward will be yours
when we arrive. End transmission.

-Thank you.
-What for?

For lending me your dress.

For making an effort to be kind.

Oh, I'd help anyone in trouble
if I could.

Mel, there's something you should know.

What an unexpected bonus.

You're the traveller in time
they call the Doctor.

Your death will make me richer still.

If you kill for money, let the girl go.
She's worth nothing to you.

I don't just kill for money.

It's also something I enjoy.