Doctor Who (1963–1989): Season 2, Episode 26 - The Space Museum - full transcript

The TARDIS arrives on a planet that has been turned into a space museum but the Doctor and his friends are puzzled when they find themselves out of phase with their surroundings.


Ah! Ahh! Oh, lights!

Mmm. Oh, that?s better. Ah, good! Well now,

we seem to have materialised much quicker than I thought.

Doctor, we?ve got our clothes on!

Well, I should hope so, dear boy. I should hope so!

No Doctor, our ordinary, everyday clothes.

Well, upon my soul, yes! Yes! Now isn?t that extraordinary?

Ha ha! Yes, we were wearing those, er, cloaks and things, weren?t we?

Well, I must say, it?s going to save us a lot of bother changing!

Ye-es! Now, lets see where we are, shall we?

Doctor! You can?t dismiss it like that!

We were standing here in thirteenth century clothes.
We can?t suddenly...

My dear boy, it?s over and done with. Now lets forget it!

See where we are, come along, pay attention.

But Doctor, where are the clothes we were wearing?

I expect child, they?re hanging up where they?re...s...supposed to be.

I, er, if you?re that much concerned, go and have a look!

All right. I will.

And on your way back, bring me glass of water please,
I?m very parched.


Oh, dear, dear, dear. Now where were we?

All this fussation about a change of clothes.
You know, its so simple: it?s time and relativity, my dear boy!

Time and relativity! That?s where the answer lies!

I dare say it does Doctor, but we?d be a lot happier
if you would explain it to us.

Yes, yes, I know. Well, at the moment there isn?t, er, time.

Now, just pay attention, will you?
What?s this?

Doctor! Our crusading clothes are here.

There you are, you see? Ye-he-he-es! You see?

Well, the scanners functioning.
Looks like desert to me, hmm?

Oh look! Spaceships!

Well, it?s so quiet, it could be a graveyard.

Well, more like a launching pad to me.


Maybe it?s a dumping ground.

No, I don?t think so, my boy, no.

No, er, all those things up there come from a different period.

Well there isn?t any sign of life.


Look! There?s a building.
What do you make of that, Doctor?

Well, I?m afraid I can?t give you any answers here, my dear.

You mean you want to go and have a closer look, eh?

Yes, I don?t see why not?


After all, the readings say it?s quite safe. Mmm.

Safe? Huh, well the readings don?t
always tell us everything, you know!

Oh, thank you, my dear. Thank you, hmm.

So you dropped a glass, did you? Mmm?

Yes, Doctor.

Well don?t look so concerned, child.
It?s quite easily replaced, hmm?

Doctor, it doesn?t have to be. It all...came together again
and...jumped up into my hand!

Well, if you don?t believe me, you can go and look.
There hasn?t been time to clear it up yet.

Oh, yes, yes, yes, we believe you child, yes.
We believe you!

Honestly, that?s exactly what happened!

You dropped a glass, and...
it came together again in your hands?

With the water in it!

Well, look! Look! You see where we?ve landed?
On a museum. Mmm?

A museum?


A space museum, yes!

Precisely. If you take a closer look at those objects,

you?ll see that some of them are more advanced in design.

It?s quite a natural progression.

Oh, well, someone must be in charge of them.

Yes, we shall find that out.

And I?m sure you will agree with me,
there are several things we would like an answer to.

So I suggest we go outside and...
take a look for ourselves. Hmm?

Dust everywhere.

Well, maybe you were right about the graveyard.


Hey Doctor?


Come here and have a look at this.

Well, isn?t that extraordinary?
I?ve never seen erosion in such an advanced stage.

Hmm! The whole planet appears to be completely dead.


Non-existent, extinct.

Oh? I?ve always associated extinction with extreme cold.

You know, something like the...dark side of the moon.


Haven?t you?


Well, I must say, the atmosphere?s quite pleasant. Mmm?


Yes, I think we shall just have to go in search for the answers and...

as there?s always the element of danger in the unknown,
I suggest we keep closer together.

Is that clear? Hmm?



Oh, er, yes, Doctor!

Good, good, now I?ll...I?ll take the lead and...
lets try and find those buildings we saw on the scanner.


Oh, what is it now, dear boy? Hmm?

We?re walking on dust. Several inches thick, I?d say.

Yes, yes, so it appears, hmm.

Then why aren?t we leaving any footprints?

Yes, that?s curious, isn?t it? Yeah...very curious, hmm!

What an extraordinary building!

Yes. This looks like the only door.

Ahh, no windows either.

Well, we certainly haven?t met anyone yet, hmm?

Maybe there isn?t anybody.

How are we going to get in there? hmm?

Well, I don?t know.
There doesn?t seem to be any way of opening the door.

Have you noticed something? I mean something very peculiar...

Well, everything?s peculiar.

My dear Barbara, if you?ve seen something or somebody,
there?s no sense in talking in riddles, is there?

No Doctor, not seen. Its the silence.
When we stop talking, there isn?t a sound - listen.

It?s the sort of...silence you can almost hear.

Mmm. More and more like a graveyard.

Oh, that?s quite enough. Now stop it.

You'll have us all imagining things.
There must be an explanation of this little...

There?s someone coming!

(Vicki Sneezes)

I?m sorry! It just came out.

It?s all right, Vicki. They didn?t hear it.

They were only a few feet away!

I know!

It?s extremely doubtful that they were both deaf!

However, the fact is, they didn?t hear. Now, let?s see what?s in here.

Well, there aren?t any windows.

No, I think there?s probably something in the atmosphere that, er

has a very slow destructive property, er
hence the lack of windows, Mmm?

Yes, but I don?t understand where the light comes from?

Oh, I think that might just be some floreps...fl,
florescent substance in the, er, walls.

Yes, well, I think you two must admit that, er

my assumption as to where we were, has been proved correct.

Yes, we might almost be in a museum at home.

Except that there are no little men
following you about telling you not touch things!

Well you just pretend there are, young lady
and keep your hands to yourself! Hmm?

Well, everything seems quite normal.

Well why not? Why shouldn?t it be? It?s quite natural.

After all, you have objects of...historical interest on Earth,
so...why not a museum in space, hmm?

I always thought I?d find one someday.

Those two men we saw must have been guards.
Who started all this, do you think, Doctor?

Well, I suppose the answers here somewhere.
That?s what we?ve got to find out.

Let?s go and have a look in that other room, hmm?


Can?t be!?

So that?s what a Dalek looks like.

Er, don?t touch, child.

What do you know about them, Vicki?

Only what I?ve read in history books;
that they invaded Earth about...

three hundred years ago, was it?

We were there, Vicki.
That was one of the periods we visited.

I don?t mind admitting, my boy, that that thing gave me a start!

Coming face to face to it again!

It?s not a bit the way I imagined it.

Oh, I mean, the books describe them all right but...
well, this one looks quite friendly!


You wouldn?t say that, young lady, if ever we meet them again.

Which to say the least is very unlikely. I hope!

Back - get behind the case!


Quick! Quick! Quick! Don?t touch it!

All right. They?ve gone.

They were talking!


Yet we...we didn?t hear a word they said!

No. Perhaps they have some other means of communication.

You know, on a very high frequency, or...

No? Not very good?

What do you think, Doctor?

Well, I don?t know.

Chesterton might have had the answer in what he just said but,
er, I doubt it, I doubt it. Come on! Come on!

Well, they didn?t seem hostile. That?s something to be thankful for.

Oh, I don?t know. Even the Daleks are friendly to some.

Ho ho! Vicki, yes!

Anyway, even if they are friendly, I doubt if we?ll get much
conversation out of them, unless one of you can lip-read.

Doctor! Doctor!

Cha, cha, cha, cha, child! Don?t make so much noise! What?s the matter?

I...I touched that thing and...

I thought I told you not to touch. When are you going
to learn to obey me? How you...

All right, Doctor. You can save the scolding ?til later
Look, can?t you see that Vicki?s upset?

Upset? Upset? Whatever for? Why are you upset child?
What?s the matter? Hmm?

I touched that thing and my hand went right through it!

See? There isn?t anything there, is there?


Well, there is something there, isn?t there?
I mean, we can all see it, can?t we?

Yes, of course we can, Vicki.

That?s strange. Strange indeed.

You know, there must be a logical explanation for this somewhere?

You know, I think it?s just a matter of putting two and
two together to make three. You know there is...


Oh, quick, let?s hide!

Well, where can we hide? Doctor, what shall we do?

Nothing! Absolutely nothing! Stand exactly where we are!

What do you make of that?

Well, I?ve never known anything in my life.
In all my years of time travelling, I...

That one...looked straight at me.

Utterly unbelievable!

And he was talking. His...his lips were moving.

Yes, so strange.

And yet we have no communication with them. Hmm!

Well, obviously they couldn?t see us. I mean, we?re...

we?re strangers, our clothes are different.

If they had seen us, they would have...made some sign, however slight.

Right, we?re invisible! That settles it!

Does it, my boy? Mmm? Does it?
Either that or we?re not really here. Mmm?

Ahh! It?s the biggest museum I?ve ever been in.
We must have walked for miles.

And all the rooms are exactly the same - just cases and cabinets.

I?m beginning to think the Doctor?s wrong.


Well, how can we find the answer in here?

I have no idea, my child, but until I say otherwise,
we continue the search.

Now, let us see what?s in here, hmm?

Oh, same as all the others, I suppose.

Good gracious me! Hmm!

Well, how did that get in here?

Well what does it matter?

Look, now that we?ve found the TARDIS,
come on, let?s get out of here.

Yes, I agree, it?s a stroke of luck. Let?s leave at once.

I?ve had enough of this place, Doctor.

Oh! You?ve all decided, have you? Mmm?

Yes, I?m afraid it?s going to be a little more difficult than that!

The mists are beginning to clear slightly.

I?m just beginning to see reason.
Where are we? Hmm? Where are we? Hmm?

Well, here, surely?

Are we? We must have arrived here in the TARDIS sometime
Are we here, hmm? Look!

That?s us! That?s not...models or pictures. That?s us!

Yes, exhibits in a space museum.

Can you explain it, Doctor? space...although a dimension in itself...
also has dimensions of its own.

So you know about it, child? Hmm.
We must have a little chat some time, hmm?

Yes, you see, we really are in those cases,

but we?re also standing here...
looking at ourselves...from this dimension.

Well, it?s horrible! Those faces, our faces, just staring...

Well, at least it explains what?s been happening to us.

Yes, it does, my boy.

And if we?re not there, we can?t leave footprints,
break glasses, or touch things, hmm?

And nobody can see us. I see.

Oh yes they can, oh yes! They can see us.
Where we really are - there!

Is there anyway of getting out of this, Doctor?

Well, my dear, I suppose we got into it, er, there must be.

You know, I don?t mind admitting, I?ve always
found it extremely difficult to solve the fourth dimension.

And here we are - face to face with the fourth dimension.

You know, I think the TARDIS jumped a time track...

and ended up here - in this fourth dimension. Hmm!
It?s extraordinary!

It?s inexplicable. No, wait a minute, wait a minute...

I think you?re all going to be delighted! I?m going to come up with the answer...
and it?s so simple!

Yes! So simple!

How simple?

we have to do is to wait here...until we arrive!

I beg your pardon?

You see, my dear, before they actually put us in those glass cases,

we must have arrived here sometime in the TARDIS.

These people saw us and thought we were worthy
people to be put in their space museum. Then...

I see! I think...

But nothing has happened to us yet.

What we are doing now is taking a glimpse into the
future - or what might be or could be the future.

All that leads up to it, is still yet to come.

Doctor, look. Why don?t we go and find the TARDIS,
the real one I mean and get into it and get out of here, now!

And end up, one day, my dear, like that?

No, we must not. We?ve got to stop it happening.

Doctor...when will we arrive?

I don't know, my boy, I...can?t be certain. You see, I?m...
quite unable to measure the..

.time dimension that the TARDIS jumped.

But you?ll notice we?re all wearing the same clothes.

Hmm? So it...could be in a few moments, or...a few seconds.

Well, how will we know when we have? Arrived, I mean.

The cases will disappear and we shall all become visible.

And from that moment we?ll be in great danger.

Precisely. So you see we must succeed in stopping them making exhibits of us!

Otherwise, well, there it is - that?s how we?re all going to end up.



Something strange is happening! I can feel it!

They?ve gone!

Yes, my dear...and we?ve arrived!