Doctor Who (1963–1989): Season 17, Episode 9 - The Creature from the Pit: Part One - full transcript

Answering a distress call, the TARDIS lands on Chloris, a planet choked with abundant vegetation. Discovering a gigantic, fragmented eggshell that's the source of the call, the Doctor and Romana also find themselves under arrest for tramping about in a zone marked for death. Before they can be brought before Lady Adrasta, the matriarchal ruler, for questioning and ceremonious execution, a roving ban of metal-scavenging bandits attack and run off with Romana.

''Peter gave himself up for lost
and shed big tears.

''But his sobs were overheard
by some friendly sparrows,

''who flew to him in great excitement
and implored him to exert himself. ''

Doctor, I've been cleaning out
number 4 hold.

You've got the most awful lot
of junk in there.

Shh! Something terribly exciting
is about to happen.

-Oh, really? What?
-Mr McGregor.

-Mr McGregor.

He's chasing Peter Rabbit.
He's got a sieve.

He's gonna pop it on top of Peter.

Don't worry.
He'll wriggle out, lose his jacket

and hop into a watering can.

Bless you.
-Did you say junk? I don't carry junk.

-What do you call this lot, then?
-That's extremely valuable equipment.

An old ball of string?

Give that to me. Come on, give it to me.

''To the Doctor,
a souvenir with love and thanks

''for all his help with the Minotaur.
Theseus and Ariadne.''

Yes. If I hadn't produced
that ball of string to find a way

out of the labyrinth, they were going to
unravel my scarf, the rednecks.

All right. But what can you possibly do
with the old jawbone of an ass?

-Don't be a philistine.

That jawbone's
been about a bit, you know.

-All right. So what's this, then?
-Well, that's just a bit of old junk.

A Mark III
Emergency Transceiver, mistress.

-You mean it's part of the Tardis?
-Correct, mistress.

Then why isn't it plugged in, Doctor?

-Because it doesn't work.
-Incorrect, master.

-The Transceiver is fully operative.

But it's an awful nuisance.

You mean you kept getting calls
from Gallifrey all the time?

''Would you do this?''
''Would you do that?''

-Yes. Such a bore.
-That's what it's for.

What? To bore?

No. To receive
and send distress signals.

I was never in distress.

-Well, not often.

I mean, not what you'd call often.
Go on. Plug it in.


Switch it off! Switch it off!

That's better.

I told you that thing
never worked properly.

Inaccurate, master. The Transceiver
has never been used properly before.

Well, there's a fault in it, then,
isn't there? That was no distress call.

Was it? Was it?

Insufficient data, master.
But there is no fault in the equipment.

-Well, I'm delighted to hear it.
-But your last statement...

But...we've landed.

I wonder where we are? Anyone know?

What is it?
No idea.

Let's find out, shall we?

Not you, K9. You stay here.

By the way, how did you know
about Peter Rabbit?

Oh, Peter Rabbit, Squirrel Nutkin,
Mrs Tiggy-Winkle, Jemima...

-That's odd.
-It's so green.

-It's very odd.
-What's odd?

This is.

-What is that thing?

It's an egg.

-An egg?

Well, part of a shell, anyway.
Can't see the rest of it.

-It's huge.

-What kind of bird laid that?
-If it was a bird.

What do you think it was, then?



You mean metal birds laying metal eggs?

-What is it?
-It's alive.

-The shell.

Oh, don't be ridiculous.

-Listen. Can't you hear?
-What is it?

It's the same noise
we heard in the Tardis.

There must be a transmitter here.

- In an eggshell?
-Well, somewhere, somewhere.

-It stands to reason.
-''Stands to reason.''

Yes. Stands to reason.

Stupid expression, ''stands to reason''.

Why didn't it lie down to reason?
Much easier to reason lying down.

Alexus cereba...


It's definitely the shell
that's the transmitter.

I wonder what it's transmitting?
And to whom?

Well, I suppose
to whatever laid it. Hmm.

That's not a very pleasant thought,
is it, Doctor?

Curious material.

Almost looks as if it...
Almost looks as if it were woven.

Ouch! Sharp. Romana. Romana!

Romana, would you come here
a moment, please?

Oh, hello.

Have you seen my assistant?
Romana! Romana!

Obviously not. All right,
I won't bother you, then.

Can you get these things off me?

-Did you get those things off me?

-Thank you very much.
-Kill him.

What? And just as we're all
getting on so well?

-Kill him.
-Look, I don't want to

stand on protocol or anything like that,

but couldn't you at least do the
done thing and take me to your leader?


Are you in charge here?

-I am.
-Thank you very much.

You saved my life and I am a doctor.
What are those things?

-Weeds? What, plant weeds?

Of course. Specially grown in
the Lady Adrasta's nurseries.

Good lord.

If I were you, I'd introduce her
to geraniums before it's too late.

What are you doing
in the Place of Death?

Oh, just pottering around. I have
this insatiable curiosity, you see...

Why do you call it the Place of Death?

Because anyone found here
is automatically condemned to death.

Ah! Is that so?

You know, I've always been fascinated
by place names

and I trust you'll make an exception
in my case.

-Your commander says this is yours.
-My commander?

Oh, that Commander. Hello, Commander.

-What is it?
-It's tricky to explain.

-What does it do?
-Ooh, it travels.

We travel in it.
Look, I'll show you. You'll like it.

Come along, Romana.

Secure him!


How? It has no wheels.

I hope you're not lying, Doctor.

The Lady Adrasta will want
to question you.

There was no need to
go to all this trouble.

All she had to do
was make an appointment.

-Madam, the wolfweeds sense danger.
-We move out. Bring the woman.

What do you think is going on?

I don't know.
At least we're still alive.

Yes. You realise, of course,
we're being followed.

No talking.

Hmm? Nice place you've got here,
old chap. Very green.




Romana? Where's Romana?

Captured. Shall we
go after the girl, madam?

The wolfweeds can follow the tracks.

And lead us into another ambush?
No, Huntsman.

-Who were they?

These hills are full of them.
No traveller is safe.

Unless you want to get your throat cut,
you'd better keep up with us.

-Well, what about Romana?
-Oh, pray that they kill her quickly.

Come on.

Ooh, look at that.

Pure bronze. Beautiful. Beautiful.


Lovely, exquisite.
Such shape, such form.

Such delightfully iron metal content.

Promising, what have
you brought old Torvin?


Well, what use is she?
I mean, she's not metal, is she?

She's one of Lady Adrasta's
ladies in waiting.

She has to be. Look at her clothes.

What do her clothes matter to me?
Cloth is easy enough to come by.

-Any metal on her?

Oh, kill her, then.
We've got enough mouths to feed.

-Maybe we could ransom her.
-Ransom? Use your brains.

If she's one of Adrasta's
ladies in waiting,

Adrasta will hunt us down. Kill her.

-She could be valuable.

No, no. She's not valuable.

Yeah. Unless she's got
a metal leg or something.

-Kill her.
-I say we don't kill her

-unless we vote on it.
He's right.

You're not leader. No, no, dear boy.

Well, well, of course you must vote.
So vote.

Yeah, well, I'm all for democracy.

Wait there.

Do you mind?
I've got a terribly itch. Itchy nose.

No, no, no, no, no.
My nose, not your nose.

Come on. Come over here.

Come on.

Put your finger up like that.
Now, you scratch my nose.

Ooh! Other side. That is so good...

Sorry about that, fellows.


You know how it is when you get an itch.

-Perhaps I can be of help.
-No, no. No, thank you.

There's no itch any more.

-Do let me take that thing off.
-Thank you.

I so like my guests to feel comfortable.

Yes. It was a bit incommodious.

It doesn't seem to have
incommoded you too much, Doctor.

Well, I suppose you could say
the yolk's on him,

if you were the sort of person
who said that sort of thing,

which fortunately I'm not.

You must be the Lady Adrasta!

And you're the fellow who was found
in the Place of Death.

Yes! Do you know, I'll tell you
something fascinating about that.

Anyone found there is put to death.

Oh, you knew.

Well, don't you think
you could at least put up a notice?

Tell me, what did you make
of the object?

Some of the finest brains on Chloris
have devoted years

to trying to unravel the problem.

-Do you mean the egg?

-Are you sure?

-Have you seen anything like it before?

-No. But I'm full of theories about it.
-What kind of creature laid it?

Lady Adrasta, I'd like to
talk to you about these things

but at the moment I'm much more
concerned about Romana.

Ah, yes. Madam Karela told me.

-Your commander.
-No, no. She's not my commander.

-She's my companion.
-Of course.

I couldn't see a man
of your obvious talents

in a subordinate position.

You couldn't see a man
of my obvious talents in a sub...

Oh, no. Of course.
No. You're very kind.

Yes, aren't I? And I'll send
a troop of guards to find her.

-See to it.
-Immediately, my lady.

Don't worry, Doctor.

My wolfweeds will hunt down
those animals that took Romana.

Hmm. I wonder what they'll do to her?

-The wolfweeds?
-No, the bandits.

Kill her quickly, if she's lucky.

-And if she's not?

Ready, boys?

One... Two...

Everybody voted.

We're all agreed, then.
Good, my lovely boys. Good. Kill her.

Now, what will killing her achieve?

Go ahead.

What did you say?

I said go ahead and kill me.
Commit suicide.

Listen to that hirsute moron.

-Here, who are you calling hair suit?

-Do you want to make something of it?
-No. I just want to know what it means.

-It means hairy.
-What do you mean, my lady?

Well, I should have thought
that was obvious.

-Hairy, covered with hair.

What do you mean when you said
we were committing suicide?

Well, if this Lady Adrasta,
whoever she might be,

is going to hunt you down
for kidnapping me,

what do you think she'll do
if she finds out you've killed me?

She's right.

What do you mean ''whoever''
Lady Adrasta might be?

-You're her lady in waiting, aren't you?

Then who are you, me lady?

That's the first intelligent question
you've asked.

I'm a traveller. I'm a Time Lord.

And I am not used to being assaulted
by a collection of hairy,

grubby little men.

Well, she's no call to get personal.

I don't intend
to get used to it, either.

-Sit down.
-Kill her.

-Untie me.
-Here, don't listen to her.

She's only trying to trick you.

Sit. Sit.

That's better.


let's talk this over sensibly.

-Here, what's this?
-See for yourself.

-You know what this is?
-Yeah, it's a piece of metal.

-Yeah, I know what it is but what is it?
-You blow through it.

What is it?

-It's a whistle.
-A whistle?

-Go on. Try blowing harder.

Coming, mistress.


Doctor, you said you had some theories
about this eggshell?

-Yes. What is this thing?
-Later, Doctor. About the eggshell...

Extraordinary texture.

-How long has it been there?
-We discovered it about 1 5 years ago.

The shell, Doctor.

-The shell?

My Huntsman heard you say
that the shell was alive.

Alive and screaming in pain.

-The shell?

Then why can no one hear it?

Because it can only be detected
on very low frequency wavelengths.

What's the shell screaming about?

Ah! More to the point,
for whom is it screaming?

Its mummy?

By the pyramids,
imagine the size of its mummy.

-You heard?
-Yes, my lady.

-Who are these? The undertakers?

-Doran and Tollund.
-Ah, how do you do?

Our task is to discover the function
of the object

that you mistakenly called an eggshell.

Why? What would you call it?

Well, engineer Doran,
in his latest paper on the subject,

has proved conclusively that it is
part of an ancient building.

-Perhaps a temple.
-A temple?

-You're not convinced, Doctor.

Convinced? Pooh!

-You still think it's a shell.
-Well, of course it is, of a sort.

Well, I myself have calculated that
a bird large enough to lay that egg

would have to have a wingspan
of at least a mile.


Well, do you know many birds that large?

No. But it isn't only birds
that lay eggs, is it?

-Fishes do.
-Hmm. Big fish.

Ooh! Very big ones. Or a big reptile.

-Hmm. Yes.
-Perhaps a gigantic frog.

Really, Doctor.

How do you account
for the marks of intense heat

on the exterior of the shell?

Ah! Someone tried to fry the egg.

-My lady, this man is being facetious.
-He's quite right.

Doran, I saw no mention in your paper
that the shell was alive.

It can't be, my lady. It's impossible.
We detected nothing.

-But this man did.
-Well, he's mistaken.

Well, to be fair,
I did have a couple of gadgets

which he probably didn't,
like a teaspoon and an open mind.

You have failed me, engineer Doran.

-Take him.
-My lady, I beg you!

No! Please! No!

-Where are they taking him?
-Come and see.

Perhaps you will find it instructive.

Yes, perhaps I will.
And interesting, too, I hope.

Doctor, you know more about the shell
than you're prepared to say.

Perhaps a little demonstration
will make you more cooperative.

Bring him.

Oh, how nice to meet
a well-mannered guard.

I'm afraid I really
must be frank with you.

As bandits go,
you're a pretty duff bunch.

Oh, you hear that, boys?
We impressed the lady.

I'm afraid not.
Well, I really must be going.

Going? What makes you think
that you can get out of here alive?

-My friend.

-What's that?
-It's a dog.

-It's made of metal.

Oh, must be worth a fortune.

K9, have you located the Doctor yet?

Yes, mistress.

Good. Well, I really must be on my way.
I do hope we don't meet again.

I can't honestly say
it's been a pleasure.

-Good day.
-Eh, leave your dog behind.

-Certainly not.
-Then you don't leave.


It's all right.

He's not dead, only stunned.
He'll come to in a minute,

with a very sore head.

But then, I expect you're used to that.


-What's this?
-We call it the Pit.

Ah! You have such a way with words.

No, no! Please, I beg you. Please!

Look, I don't know what you intend to do
with engineer Doran.

-Well, I suggest you think again.

After all, he may be a bit of an idiot
but at least he's a conscientious idiot,

and even bad engineers are hard
to come by on this side of the galaxy.

What's that?





Now, Doctor,
are you prepared to be cooperative?

-Romana, no!

It's all right. I've got K9.

-Seize her.

Attack! Attack!

Good boy, K9!

-He's dead.

K9. K9!

You must be Romana.

Well, Doctor,

now I have you both.

Now you're bound to be cooperative.

Well, Doctor?