Doctor Who (1963–1989): Season 14, Episode 26 - The Talons of Weng-Chiang: Part Six - full transcript
The real face of Weng-Chiang is revealed as the Doctor, Leela, Jago and Litefoot face their final battle, against both Magnus Greel and a trigger-happy Mr Sin.
(DOCTOR WHO THEME)
We must trap them in the crossfire, Doctor,
in the open where they cannot find cover.
What sort of crossfire?
Hazelnuts? Bread pellets?
A house this size must have protection.
The professor will have weapons
in fixed positions to guard the approaches.
I brought you to the wrong time,
my girl. You'd have loved Agincourt!
(HE GASPS AND GROANS)
There's a Boot Court near the river,
less than a mile from here, look.
Oh, you let yourself in,
that's good. We were expecting you.
No, Doctor,
it was WE who were expecting YOU!
Life's full of little surprises.
What have you done to her?
- Nothing...yet!
- Take my advice - don't!
Your advice (?)
(HE LAUGHS)
Oh, Doctor, you are an unusual man,
but in opposing me, you have gone
far out of your depth!
You have taken something from me.
I want it back!
Now, I wonder what that could be?
I'm always borrowing things
and then forgetting where I put them!
Hmm...
It's a terrible habit!
I have never appreciated frivolity!
It was in that bag,
it is not there now. Give it to me!
- Want one of these?
- The time key, Doctor!
Oh, the time key!
Heavens to Betsy, where did I last see that?
I'll give you three seconds
and then Mr Sin will kill the girl!
One, two, three! KILL HER!
- Stop!
- Is this what you want?
- The trionic lattice?
- Give it to me!
- Careful! I might have dropped it!
- I'll kill you!
Crystalline. It'd probably break
into a thousand pieces!
- You arrogant jackanapes!
- When I'm crowded I get nervous.
- Back! Back!
- That's better.
Give me that key and I will spare her life!
Never trust a man with dirty fingernails!
You can trust me to kill her
if you do not put it down!
- Obey me at once!
- I'll make a bargain with you.
You can have the trionic lattice...
when we get to the House of the Dragon.
What trickery is this?
You're holding two other friends.
- What of them?
- I want them released.
Two blundering dolts! Why?
I doubt if you could understand that,
- but that's the condition.
- Very well. They're nothing to me!
Good.
Right then, you and your chaps
can lead the way and I'll follow.
- Bring the girl!
- No! The girl stays.
You would be wise not to press me too far!
Just lead on!
Come!
- What's the matter?
- I heard something.
- What sort of thing?
- People.
Quite a group just went by.
More Wongs for the Tong, I suppose!
Do you realise we've been here over an hour?
- It'll be the dawn soon.
- What does that signify?
I'm not aware it signifies anything.
It's just a remark.
I thought perhaps
they might do things at dawn.
Do things? What sort of things?
You know - sacrifice their victims.
You're thinking of the Druids, aren't you?
I'm not aware the Chinese
make a ceremony of it.
Good. I don't think I could stomach that.
- It's been worrying me somewhat.
- Best not to think about it.
I can't help it. Beastly heathens!
- That's my trouble, Litefoot.
- What?
Well, I'm not awfully...
I'm not so bally brave when it comes to it.
I try, but I'm not.
When it comes to it, I don't suppose anybody is!
Well, I thought I ought to tell you
anyway, in case I let the side down.
You won't, Henry, I know you won't.
(WENG-CHIANG) Fetch the prisoners here!
Very impressive!
- I'll have the bird's nest soup!
- What?
Well, isn't this where you do the cooking?
How can you understand the functions
of a catalytic extraction chamber?
Technology far beyond your time!
Simple cannibalism! That machine
gets rid of the grisly bits.
Much more than that! The secret of life!
Your so-called technology
is the twisted lunacy of a scientific dark age!
- What do you know of my time?
- Everything!
- Where is it?
- What?
Your pig-faced,
pig-brained Peking Homunculus.
(WENG-CHIANG) You know of that? How?!
I was with the Filipino army
at the final advance on Reykjavik.
How can you in the 19th century
know anything of the 51st? You lie!
Listen... What's your name?
What were you called
before you became a Chinese god?
I am Magnus Greel!
Oh, yes... The infamous Minister of Justice!
The Butcher of Brisbane. Checkmate.
It's impossible for you to know these things!
I know you're a wanted criminal
and that 100,000 deaths can be laid at your door.
Enemies of the state! They were used
in the advancements of science!
They were slaughtered in your filthy machine!
So...you ARE from the future,
and I, for all my achievements,
am only remembered as a war criminal!
Of course, it is the winning side
that writes history, Doctor (!)
Remember, you would not be here
if it were not for my work!
Your work (?)
- (PIG-LIKE GRUNTS)
- Your work (?)
Yes! I made this possible!
I found the resources, the scientists...
The zigma experiments were a failure.
Nothing came of them!
No! They were a success!
I used them to escape from my enemies!
- The first man to travel through time!
- Hmm, look what it did to you!
A temporal distortion
of my metabolism. It can be readjusted!
- Doctor!
- Good morning, gentlemen!
What did I tell you? The game's up!
- We have the place surrounded!
- We don't have the place surrounded.
- We just have an understanding.
- Understanding?
I have kept my word. Give me the key!
Only when they've gone. Hurry!
There are two wretched girls here.
- Take them with you.
- Your demands are becoming too great!
Enough! I want him alive!
- Beware the eye of the dragon!
- Doctor, are you hurt?
Take them out! Get these stinking
heaps of rubbish out of here!
(STRANGLED CRY)
Perfect! Perfect! After all these years,
the function is unimpaired!
Everything exactly as it was -
the parallax synchron fully charged,
the strata tube set at maximum!
(TRIUMPHANT LAUGH)
He was wrong! Wrong!
The zigma experiment WAS a success!
Curious double heartbeat.
Otherwise, everything seems in order.
If only we knew what that fiendish
device was that struck him down!
Sh! I think he's trying to say something.
''There's a one-eyed yellow idol
to the north of Katmandu.
''There's a little marble cross below the town.''
- Kipling?
- Harry Champion, 1920.
- Doctor, are you all right?
- Greel's got the key!
- How long have I been unconscious?
- Only a few minutes.
- The broth of oblivion.
- What's that?
A Chinese soup.
- He'll be coming for them soon.
- There must be something we can do!
There's always something we can do.
Get them against the wall.
They're armed to the teeth,
those Wong fellas - knives, guns, everything!
Jago's right. Empty-handed we can do nothing!
Excellent. This is good strong linen.
It should do fine.
Well, don't just stand there! Get me
a bucket of water and break off that gas pipe!
Almost ready!
Yes, time to prepare my two partridges!
Why don't you come down from there?
Sulking because I wouldn't let you
kill the Doctor, is that it?
Before you kill him, I must drain every scintilla
of his knowledge about the zigma experiment!
(PIG-LIKE GRUNTS)
You can kill him then, and as many
more as you wish, before we leave!
All I need is to re-establish
my proteinoid balance,
then I can enter the zigma beam
for the second time.
Only this time, there must be
no mistake in the programme DNA levels!
Now for my two partridges!
Die, Bent Face!
No! Spare me, please!
Spawn of evil! Now I destroy you!
The second time! The second attempt
on my life by this she-devil!
Hold her still!
No... No, I have a better fate for you!
She will be the first morsel
to feed my regeneration!
Kill me any way you wish!
Unlike you, I am not afraid to die!
We shall see! Bring the tigress here!
At my camps, the extraction process
was considered the most painful of all.
They pleaded for anything but this!
I shall not plead, but I promise you this -
when we are in the great hereafter,
I shall hunt you down, Bent Face,
and put you through my agony a thousand times!
Silence! Now get the other hags!
(HISSING)
(JAGO ) It's leaking, I can smell it!
(LITEFOOT) There's bound to be some escape.
(DOCTOR) Not enough to worry about.
I'm not worried, but I'd hate to be gassed
before seeing if this stunt works!
Well, Greel won't keep us waiting long.
- He needs his proteinoids.
- His what?
He's dying. His body's fading away fast.
He's trying to cheat death
by substituting certain materials.
- Do you understand?
- I think so, the principle anyway.
All he achieves is a postponement
of the inevitable.
Sh!
(DISTANT SHOUTING IN CHINESE)
Lucifers, Professor.
Quick! Get over there!
Listen, if we do manage to get
out of here, don't stop running
until you're a mile from this place.
Up troops and at 'em, eh, Professor?
(MEN GROAN AND COUGH)
(DOCTOR) Come on! Come on! Quickly!
This way! Quickly!
(WENG-CHIANG) Whatever it was,
there can be no escape for you!
Let the talons of Weng-Chiang shred your flesh!
(HUMMING WHINE)
Greel!
- Kill, Sin! Kill them!
- (PIG-LIKE GRUNTS)
Get down! Get down!
I owe you my life, Doctor.
- Thank you!
- Thank him when we're out of this!
Doctor, I offer you a proposition!
Not now, Greel, we're busy (!)
I will spare your lives,
you and your friends, if you leave now.
That's very magnanimous of you, Magnus (!)
(GREEL) Then leave!
With your trigger-happy
little friend out there? No, thanks!
I am offering you your lives, you fools!
We'd be cut down before we reached the door.
I think so, too. He has no truth in him.
Let's see!
We're staying put, Magnus!
(GASPS) Then you'll die here, all of you!
Well, you might die first, Magnus -
you don't sound too well,
and your food supply's
halfway to Blackheath by now!
Sin, cut that bench away!
- If I only had a gun!
- Or a catapult!
I was a dab hand with a catapult as a nipper!
What IS that weapon?
- It's a laser beam.
- It's a death ray!
Doctor, they're diminishing our cover!
(WHISPERS) Yes, push it over.
(TRILLING LASER)
Hurry, Sin! There is little time left to me!
(TRILLING LASER, SIN LAUGHS AND GRUNTS)
No, Sin, you fool! Stop! Stop!
Obey me, Sin! Obey your master!
I command you!
Jiminy! I felt the heat of that one!
- No chance, my dear!
- He cannot fire at two objects at once.
You mean, one of us distracts him
while you go for the gun?
Yes. Me because I'm quicker.
Another minute and we're done!
- I say, I say, I say!
- (TRILLING LASER)
A funny thing happened to me...
Has she got the gun?
- Who are you shooting at?!
- Well, I've never fired one before!
- (TRILLING LASER)
- Got them rattled, anyway!
It's no good, Greel, you're finished.
I can escape you
as I escaped my enemies before!
Listen, if you activate the zigma beam,
it will be certain death for all of us!
- Lies, Doctor!
- (DOCTOR) Listen, Greel!
GREEL, LISTEN!
The zigma beam is at full stretch.
If you trigger it again,
it will collapse. You know what that means?
(GREEL) You can't fool me!
There'll be a huge implosion
with you at the centre!
The zigma experiments were a disaster!
No! No, the zigma experiment was a success!
A brilliant, total success!
Agh! Sin, what are you doing?!
- (TRILLING LASER)
- I order you to... No, no, not me!
This is mutiny, Sin!
(TRILLING LASER)
(HUMMING WHINE)
Is Bent Face dead?
- Why do you call him Bent Face?
- Because it is. No, don't!
(CRACKLING RUSTLE)
(DOCTOR) Cellular collapse.
In all my years as a pathologist,
I've never seen anything like it!
(DOCTOR) Let's hope you never see
anything like it again.
- Where was he from? Where did he go?
- He was a foe from the future.
(DOCTOR) Look out, Leela!
- (JAGO ) What's that?
- It's his fuse, Henry.
What are you doing, Doctor?
I'm bringing the zigma experiment to an end.
- Listen.
- Get your hot muffinsI
- Hot muffinsI
- It's the muffin man.
Come on. I'll buy you some muffins.
And then, for example, I would say,
''One lump or two, Miss Leela?''
To which you would reply,
''One will suffice, thank you!''
- Do you follow?
- Supposing I want two?
- No, no. One lump for ladies!
- Then why do you ask me?
(DOCTOR) Come along!
Professor Litefoot has been
explaining to me about tea.
- It's very complicated!
- It's not complicated at all.
All you... I haven't time
to stand here discussing tea.
- Goodbye, Litefoot.
- Goodbye, Doctor!
- It's been such fun! Henry...
- Goodbye!
(DOCTOR) Yes, the important thing
is just warming the pot.
- What exactly IS that contraption?
- His personal transport - look, ''Police''!
- (WHOOSHING)
- Extraordinary!
No doubt Scotland Yard provided it for him!
(WHOOSHING)
- I don't believe it!
- I've said it before and I'll say it again -
our policemen are wonderful!
- But it's impossible! Quite impossible!
- Good trick, eh?
Li H'sen Chang himself
would have appreciated that!
We must trap them in the crossfire, Doctor,
in the open where they cannot find cover.
What sort of crossfire?
Hazelnuts? Bread pellets?
A house this size must have protection.
The professor will have weapons
in fixed positions to guard the approaches.
I brought you to the wrong time,
my girl. You'd have loved Agincourt!
(HE GASPS AND GROANS)
There's a Boot Court near the river,
less than a mile from here, look.
Oh, you let yourself in,
that's good. We were expecting you.
No, Doctor,
it was WE who were expecting YOU!
Life's full of little surprises.
What have you done to her?
- Nothing...yet!
- Take my advice - don't!
Your advice (?)
(HE LAUGHS)
Oh, Doctor, you are an unusual man,
but in opposing me, you have gone
far out of your depth!
You have taken something from me.
I want it back!
Now, I wonder what that could be?
I'm always borrowing things
and then forgetting where I put them!
Hmm...
It's a terrible habit!
I have never appreciated frivolity!
It was in that bag,
it is not there now. Give it to me!
- Want one of these?
- The time key, Doctor!
Oh, the time key!
Heavens to Betsy, where did I last see that?
I'll give you three seconds
and then Mr Sin will kill the girl!
One, two, three! KILL HER!
- Stop!
- Is this what you want?
- The trionic lattice?
- Give it to me!
- Careful! I might have dropped it!
- I'll kill you!
Crystalline. It'd probably break
into a thousand pieces!
- You arrogant jackanapes!
- When I'm crowded I get nervous.
- Back! Back!
- That's better.
Give me that key and I will spare her life!
Never trust a man with dirty fingernails!
You can trust me to kill her
if you do not put it down!
- Obey me at once!
- I'll make a bargain with you.
You can have the trionic lattice...
when we get to the House of the Dragon.
What trickery is this?
You're holding two other friends.
- What of them?
- I want them released.
Two blundering dolts! Why?
I doubt if you could understand that,
- but that's the condition.
- Very well. They're nothing to me!
Good.
Right then, you and your chaps
can lead the way and I'll follow.
- Bring the girl!
- No! The girl stays.
You would be wise not to press me too far!
Just lead on!
Come!
- What's the matter?
- I heard something.
- What sort of thing?
- People.
Quite a group just went by.
More Wongs for the Tong, I suppose!
Do you realise we've been here over an hour?
- It'll be the dawn soon.
- What does that signify?
I'm not aware it signifies anything.
It's just a remark.
I thought perhaps
they might do things at dawn.
Do things? What sort of things?
You know - sacrifice their victims.
You're thinking of the Druids, aren't you?
I'm not aware the Chinese
make a ceremony of it.
Good. I don't think I could stomach that.
- It's been worrying me somewhat.
- Best not to think about it.
I can't help it. Beastly heathens!
- That's my trouble, Litefoot.
- What?
Well, I'm not awfully...
I'm not so bally brave when it comes to it.
I try, but I'm not.
When it comes to it, I don't suppose anybody is!
Well, I thought I ought to tell you
anyway, in case I let the side down.
You won't, Henry, I know you won't.
(WENG-CHIANG) Fetch the prisoners here!
Very impressive!
- I'll have the bird's nest soup!
- What?
Well, isn't this where you do the cooking?
How can you understand the functions
of a catalytic extraction chamber?
Technology far beyond your time!
Simple cannibalism! That machine
gets rid of the grisly bits.
Much more than that! The secret of life!
Your so-called technology
is the twisted lunacy of a scientific dark age!
- What do you know of my time?
- Everything!
- Where is it?
- What?
Your pig-faced,
pig-brained Peking Homunculus.
(WENG-CHIANG) You know of that? How?!
I was with the Filipino army
at the final advance on Reykjavik.
How can you in the 19th century
know anything of the 51st? You lie!
Listen... What's your name?
What were you called
before you became a Chinese god?
I am Magnus Greel!
Oh, yes... The infamous Minister of Justice!
The Butcher of Brisbane. Checkmate.
It's impossible for you to know these things!
I know you're a wanted criminal
and that 100,000 deaths can be laid at your door.
Enemies of the state! They were used
in the advancements of science!
They were slaughtered in your filthy machine!
So...you ARE from the future,
and I, for all my achievements,
am only remembered as a war criminal!
Of course, it is the winning side
that writes history, Doctor (!)
Remember, you would not be here
if it were not for my work!
Your work (?)
- (PIG-LIKE GRUNTS)
- Your work (?)
Yes! I made this possible!
I found the resources, the scientists...
The zigma experiments were a failure.
Nothing came of them!
No! They were a success!
I used them to escape from my enemies!
- The first man to travel through time!
- Hmm, look what it did to you!
A temporal distortion
of my metabolism. It can be readjusted!
- Doctor!
- Good morning, gentlemen!
What did I tell you? The game's up!
- We have the place surrounded!
- We don't have the place surrounded.
- We just have an understanding.
- Understanding?
I have kept my word. Give me the key!
Only when they've gone. Hurry!
There are two wretched girls here.
- Take them with you.
- Your demands are becoming too great!
Enough! I want him alive!
- Beware the eye of the dragon!
- Doctor, are you hurt?
Take them out! Get these stinking
heaps of rubbish out of here!
(STRANGLED CRY)
Perfect! Perfect! After all these years,
the function is unimpaired!
Everything exactly as it was -
the parallax synchron fully charged,
the strata tube set at maximum!
(TRIUMPHANT LAUGH)
He was wrong! Wrong!
The zigma experiment WAS a success!
Curious double heartbeat.
Otherwise, everything seems in order.
If only we knew what that fiendish
device was that struck him down!
Sh! I think he's trying to say something.
''There's a one-eyed yellow idol
to the north of Katmandu.
''There's a little marble cross below the town.''
- Kipling?
- Harry Champion, 1920.
- Doctor, are you all right?
- Greel's got the key!
- How long have I been unconscious?
- Only a few minutes.
- The broth of oblivion.
- What's that?
A Chinese soup.
- He'll be coming for them soon.
- There must be something we can do!
There's always something we can do.
Get them against the wall.
They're armed to the teeth,
those Wong fellas - knives, guns, everything!
Jago's right. Empty-handed we can do nothing!
Excellent. This is good strong linen.
It should do fine.
Well, don't just stand there! Get me
a bucket of water and break off that gas pipe!
Almost ready!
Yes, time to prepare my two partridges!
Why don't you come down from there?
Sulking because I wouldn't let you
kill the Doctor, is that it?
Before you kill him, I must drain every scintilla
of his knowledge about the zigma experiment!
(PIG-LIKE GRUNTS)
You can kill him then, and as many
more as you wish, before we leave!
All I need is to re-establish
my proteinoid balance,
then I can enter the zigma beam
for the second time.
Only this time, there must be
no mistake in the programme DNA levels!
Now for my two partridges!
Die, Bent Face!
No! Spare me, please!
Spawn of evil! Now I destroy you!
The second time! The second attempt
on my life by this she-devil!
Hold her still!
No... No, I have a better fate for you!
She will be the first morsel
to feed my regeneration!
Kill me any way you wish!
Unlike you, I am not afraid to die!
We shall see! Bring the tigress here!
At my camps, the extraction process
was considered the most painful of all.
They pleaded for anything but this!
I shall not plead, but I promise you this -
when we are in the great hereafter,
I shall hunt you down, Bent Face,
and put you through my agony a thousand times!
Silence! Now get the other hags!
(HISSING)
(JAGO ) It's leaking, I can smell it!
(LITEFOOT) There's bound to be some escape.
(DOCTOR) Not enough to worry about.
I'm not worried, but I'd hate to be gassed
before seeing if this stunt works!
Well, Greel won't keep us waiting long.
- He needs his proteinoids.
- His what?
He's dying. His body's fading away fast.
He's trying to cheat death
by substituting certain materials.
- Do you understand?
- I think so, the principle anyway.
All he achieves is a postponement
of the inevitable.
Sh!
(DISTANT SHOUTING IN CHINESE)
Lucifers, Professor.
Quick! Get over there!
Listen, if we do manage to get
out of here, don't stop running
until you're a mile from this place.
Up troops and at 'em, eh, Professor?
(MEN GROAN AND COUGH)
(DOCTOR) Come on! Come on! Quickly!
This way! Quickly!
(WENG-CHIANG) Whatever it was,
there can be no escape for you!
Let the talons of Weng-Chiang shred your flesh!
(HUMMING WHINE)
Greel!
- Kill, Sin! Kill them!
- (PIG-LIKE GRUNTS)
Get down! Get down!
I owe you my life, Doctor.
- Thank you!
- Thank him when we're out of this!
Doctor, I offer you a proposition!
Not now, Greel, we're busy (!)
I will spare your lives,
you and your friends, if you leave now.
That's very magnanimous of you, Magnus (!)
(GREEL) Then leave!
With your trigger-happy
little friend out there? No, thanks!
I am offering you your lives, you fools!
We'd be cut down before we reached the door.
I think so, too. He has no truth in him.
Let's see!
We're staying put, Magnus!
(GASPS) Then you'll die here, all of you!
Well, you might die first, Magnus -
you don't sound too well,
and your food supply's
halfway to Blackheath by now!
Sin, cut that bench away!
- If I only had a gun!
- Or a catapult!
I was a dab hand with a catapult as a nipper!
What IS that weapon?
- It's a laser beam.
- It's a death ray!
Doctor, they're diminishing our cover!
(WHISPERS) Yes, push it over.
(TRILLING LASER)
Hurry, Sin! There is little time left to me!
(TRILLING LASER, SIN LAUGHS AND GRUNTS)
No, Sin, you fool! Stop! Stop!
Obey me, Sin! Obey your master!
I command you!
Jiminy! I felt the heat of that one!
- No chance, my dear!
- He cannot fire at two objects at once.
You mean, one of us distracts him
while you go for the gun?
Yes. Me because I'm quicker.
Another minute and we're done!
- I say, I say, I say!
- (TRILLING LASER)
A funny thing happened to me...
Has she got the gun?
- Who are you shooting at?!
- Well, I've never fired one before!
- (TRILLING LASER)
- Got them rattled, anyway!
It's no good, Greel, you're finished.
I can escape you
as I escaped my enemies before!
Listen, if you activate the zigma beam,
it will be certain death for all of us!
- Lies, Doctor!
- (DOCTOR) Listen, Greel!
GREEL, LISTEN!
The zigma beam is at full stretch.
If you trigger it again,
it will collapse. You know what that means?
(GREEL) You can't fool me!
There'll be a huge implosion
with you at the centre!
The zigma experiments were a disaster!
No! No, the zigma experiment was a success!
A brilliant, total success!
Agh! Sin, what are you doing?!
- (TRILLING LASER)
- I order you to... No, no, not me!
This is mutiny, Sin!
(TRILLING LASER)
(HUMMING WHINE)
Is Bent Face dead?
- Why do you call him Bent Face?
- Because it is. No, don't!
(CRACKLING RUSTLE)
(DOCTOR) Cellular collapse.
In all my years as a pathologist,
I've never seen anything like it!
(DOCTOR) Let's hope you never see
anything like it again.
- Where was he from? Where did he go?
- He was a foe from the future.
(DOCTOR) Look out, Leela!
- (JAGO ) What's that?
- It's his fuse, Henry.
What are you doing, Doctor?
I'm bringing the zigma experiment to an end.
- Listen.
- Get your hot muffinsI
- Hot muffinsI
- It's the muffin man.
Come on. I'll buy you some muffins.
And then, for example, I would say,
''One lump or two, Miss Leela?''
To which you would reply,
''One will suffice, thank you!''
- Do you follow?
- Supposing I want two?
- No, no. One lump for ladies!
- Then why do you ask me?
(DOCTOR) Come along!
Professor Litefoot has been
explaining to me about tea.
- It's very complicated!
- It's not complicated at all.
All you... I haven't time
to stand here discussing tea.
- Goodbye, Litefoot.
- Goodbye, Doctor!
- It's been such fun! Henry...
- Goodbye!
(DOCTOR) Yes, the important thing
is just warming the pot.
- What exactly IS that contraption?
- His personal transport - look, ''Police''!
- (WHOOSHING)
- Extraordinary!
No doubt Scotland Yard provided it for him!
(WHOOSHING)
- I don't believe it!
- I've said it before and I'll say it again -
our policemen are wonderful!
- But it's impossible! Quite impossible!
- Good trick, eh?
Li H'sen Chang himself
would have appreciated that!