Doctor Who (1963–1989): Season 10, Episode 8 - Carnival of Monsters: Episode Four - full transcript

(DOCTOR WHO THEME)

The power's still dropping, Vorg.

- What are you doing?
- I wish I knew...

Routine maintenance, your worship.

Aaagh!

Eradicator detachment, stand by!

- It's one of the Tellurians.
- It must be eradicated.

He hasn't done anything. Are you all right?

Don't touch it. It's crawling with germs.

He's right. The thing must be destroyed.

Eradicator detachment,
one charge, maximum intensity...



- Wait!
- Stand aside, Kalik.

- This procedure is not in order.
- Not in order?

The eradicator cannot be used without authority.

- In an emergency...
- One alien is hardly an emergency.

The function of this tribunal
is to keep this planet clean.

This creature comes from outside our solar system

and is a carrier of contagion.

The creature may be hostile.

Will you stop referring to me as the creature?

Or I may become exceedingly hostile.

Silence! The tribunal is deliberating.

The tribunal is not deliberating.

The tribunal is arguing.
Quite nonsensically, if I may say so.

The tribunal will not tolerate insolence



from unauthorised life forms!

Will one of you kindly explain to me
where I am? Which planet, I mean.

You are on Inter Minor.

Inter Minor? Not Metebelis 3,
the blue planet of the Acteon Galaxy?

Oh, no.

I see.

Thank heavens the Tardis is safe anyway.

- This container is yours?
- Yes, it is indeed.

Ah, yes.

Just as I thought. A miniscope.

This is outrageous.
Who is responsible for this? Is it yours?

Certainly not. It is the property of this Lurman.

The female is his assistant.

And you, sir? You are?

Chairman Pletrac of the Admissions Tribunal.

One wonders why the tribunal
is submitting to questioning.

Shouldn't it be the other way round?

I'm sorry to have to tell you,

but you are all in very serious trouble.

One almost admires its audacity.

You are, I take it,
the representatives of authority here?

One's authority comes direct
from President Zarb himself.

You have allowed the importation of a machine

that is forbidden by inter-galactic law.

One did not allow it!

One is deporting the Lurmans and their machine.

But the machine is here and it is
in operation. You cannot deny that.

Well, strictly speaking,
one must concede that, in a sense...

Then you are responsible, are you not?

As a direct result of your carelessness,

my young companion is trapped
inside this machine in extreme peril.

One must remind you
that the question before this tribunal

is your eradication as a menace to public health.

If you'll allow me to rescue my young companion

and give what help I can
to the unfortunates in here,

I'm prepared to overlook the matter.

One is indeed overwhelmed.

If not...then you'll just
have to take the consequences.

Let me know when you've made up your mind.

Marvellous, Shirna.
What audacity, eh? I believe he's one of us.

One of us? He's a Tellurian.

He's in the carnival business, I'm sure.

Look at his manner and his clothes.
I've worked many a Tellurian fair.

You may be right. He's got the style.

I'd wager on it. He's got the measure
of these grey-faced idiots.

One is against this whole thing.

One might have expected that from you, Kalik.

Orum, are you for or against
the use of the eradicator?

Against.

You are outvoted, Pletrac.

Very well. Eradicator detachment, stand down.

Thank you for your timely intervention, sir.

Wait! Where are you going?

Just over there.

You're very nervous, Pletrac.

Not nervous so much as puzzled.

- What use is the Tellurian to you?
- Of no use.

You never do anything without a reason.
Why did you save its life?

Out of mercy and compassion. Vorg will tell you.

I bet he understands the parlare. Listen.

- Eh?
- The Tellurian carnival lingo.

Parlare la carny?

- I beg your pardon?
- Varda the Bona Palone?

I'm sorry.

Niente dinari round here, y'jills.

I must apologise. I'm afraid
I do not understand your language.

You understand, all right.
You're a showman like me.

Are you a showman?

Allow me to introduce myself. I am the Great Vorg.

This beautiful young lady is Shirna, my assistant.

Delighted, Miss Shirna. I am the Doctor.

Great title. Doctor, Professor always pulls them in.

Are you in charge of this disgraceful device?

- Yes. Why? Something wrong?
- Yes. Very wrong.

I too have an assistant,
and she's trapped inside this machine.

Somehow I've got to get her out.

I wouldn't put your hand in there.

The Drashigs can take a lump out of you.

- Drashigs?
- They followed you.

They're running wild inside there.
Doing terrible damage.

The stato fields are gone.
I'm going to lose the collection.

Lose them? That would be a tragedy.

Yes. My insurance doesn't cover
the replacement of livestock.

Livestock?!

Let me tell you, the people
inside that ship are human beings!

Tellurians, Ogrons. Marvellous collection.

The collection of the simplest life forms
is a dubious pursuit, sir,

but the collection of civilised
intelligent beings is a crime!

I warn you that I intend to put an end
to this shameful business.

- It's putting an end to itself.
- What does that mean?

It's packing up. All the support systems are going.

The power is almost down to critical.

- How long will it last?
- Who knows? Not much longer.

Then every living creature in there will die,
including my assistant!

I've got to find a way of saving them.

- Have you seen her?
- Not this side.

She can't get away.
We'll get a search party together.

What is the Tellurian doing?

Trying to rescue the other Tellurian, one imagines.

- They are clearly social creatures.
- And harmless.

Pletrac is growing suspicious.

If he should decide to examine the eradicator,

he will discover that one has rendered it useless.

You worry too much.

Zarb still decrees the death penalty
for acts of treason.

- Have you destroyed the part?
- What part?

- From the eradicator.
- You mean the trizon.

Yes, it's here.

We will conceal it in the Lurman's baggage.

Then if anything should go wrong,
one of us can discover it.

Of course. Blame it on the Lurman.

An alien spy and saboteur.

Doctor?

Doctor, are you there?

There she is!

- Now then, miss...
- All right. I know the routine.

You know, Shirna, he could lose
that nose of his just like that.

Vorg.

That's odd.

The Drashigs!

If they get out, they'll expand to full size.

Come on. It's time we left.

- Where are you going?
- Where?

- Home.
- We thought we'd take a shuttle.

A transporter will take you
and your machine to the thruster base.

We can find our own way. You can keep the Scope.

You will remain here until the transporter arrives!

The quarantine regulations
on the conveyance of aliens are explicit.

You will be taken in a transporter
which will then be disinfected.

Disinfected?

Back. Back! Back!

- I'm going to lock you in here...
- Until the Captain sees me. I know.

Right. Sensible girl.

Vorg?

Doctor, I shouldn't stay
near the Scope. The Drashigs...

Vorg, I need your help.

- I've got to get back inside.
- What?

It's the only way to get Jo out
and save your ''livestock''.

I need you to trigger the settings.

- Settings?
- This is your machine, isn't it?

- Of course.
- Then you know how it works?

- He won it, Doctor.
- He what?

During the Great Wallarian Exhibition.

Wallarians are great gamblers.
Vorg had the Magnum pod concession.

Three Magnum pods and a yarrow seed.

Quickness of the hand deceives the eye...

Yes, I've seen it. So you won this machine?

And you don't know how it works?

I see.

This Wallarian that you got it from,

did he give you a green or a blue disc -
a thing about this big?

He gave me a few odds and ends.
They're in my bag.

- Go and have a look.
- What's the idea, Doctor?

It's simple, really.
The Scope's Omega circuit is broken.

If I can link it to the Tardis,
I can reprogramme the Scope.

- What will that do?
- Two things.

It will enable me to get Jo
out of this wretched contraption,

and return the others
to their original co-ordinates.

- Back to where they came from?
- I hope so.

Is this it? A bit mucky.

Yes. Thank heavens you kept it.
I'll tell you what I want you to do.

Would you mind just waiting there for a moment?

Do nothing till you get the signal. Is that clear?

Good. About your business.

The transporter must arrive shortly.

So you think my plan has failed?

- One is conscious of certain flaws.
- Indeed?

One gathers the intention
is the escape of these Drashigs

in order to cause a disaster
that will reflect badly upon Zarb.

- Admirably put.
- One has sabotaged the eradicator

in order the leave the city defenceless?

Precisely. The bigger the disaster,
the better for us.

But is it not possible that one
might become part of that disaster?

There is a certain minimal risk.

One has no wish to be devoured
by alien monstrosities,

even in the cause of political progress.

When the Drashigs burst out,
the city will be taken by surprise.

We, on the other hand, will be ready
to remove ourselves from danger.

One trusts the removal will be speedy.

The Lurman said the ferocity
of the Drashigs is formidable.

No doubt he exaggerates.
I'm sure, as commissioners of Inter Minor,

we'll be more than a match
for these primitive life forms.

Have no fear, Orum. My plan will not fail.

It will if the Drashigs don't escape!
And there's no sign of that.

Sshh!

Isn't there?

They'll never break through those plates.

They're molectic bonded disillum.

Perhaps one better give them a little help.

- Will it work, Doctor?
- Of course it will.

- It's not very well insulated.
- Then don't touch any metal.

Listen to me. This is the phase one switch here.

This is the phase two.
Don't touch that till the last possible moment.

Got that. Phase one, phase two.

- What are you doing?
- He's going back in the Scope.

You will remain here.

You came here illegally.
Regulations demand you be sent to the ICCA.

What's the ICCA?

The Inner Constellation Corrective Authority.

- Prison?
- You admit you are a vagabond.

Oh, yes, yes, very much so.

Phase one.

Stop!

- Oh, no!
- We'll never get him back now!

- Can you fix it?
- I don't know. All these wires!

- You must try.
- I'm doing my best.

- The Doctor's relying on us.
- Put your finger on there.

- Here? Ow!
- Good. That's the live terminal.

Doctor?

Doctor, can you hear me?

Jo? Jo, is that you?

Doctor!

Doctor, where have you been?

Stop asking silly questions and come on.

Haven't you found that sprock yet?

I think you've lost that too.

You'll have to hurry. The transporter's due.

- Keep Pletrac busy.
- One will try.

Orum.

Is this part of something, Vorg?

- Where did you get that?
- Your bag. What is it?

I haven't seen one of these
since my national service days.

The old 14th Heavy Lasers. What an outfit!

Our battery sergeant was a Crustacoid mercenary...

Vorg! The power's almost critical.
Is the phase two switch ready?

I've just got to fix this junction box.

- Come on, Jo.
- I can't...

- Come on!
- I can't get my breath.

The circuits are going. Come on, Jo!
One last effort. We're nearly there.

Daddy...

Claire.

- Oh, Daddy.
- My dear.

- What's the matter?
- Help me.

Heat exhaustion. I should never
have brought her out here.

The transporter has arrived at last?

- Time to get the aliens aboard.
- Why was it delayed?

The Functionaries at the depot
are refusing to work double shifts.

What impudence!

They are getting above themselves.
We live in troubled times.

Oh, do get out of the way, Orum.

(ROARING)

Quick! The eradicator!

Sabotage! Run for your lives!

This way!

Vorg, here!

Look out!

Vorg....

Vorg. The phase two switch.

- Well, that's that.
- What about the Doctor?

- It must be too late.
- Well, we can try.

If you like.

It's no use. The power's completely gone.

No... No, wait a minute.

(LOW HUMMING)

- I'll have to switch it off.
- You can't.

Well, that's it, then.

No, wait!

It worked!

Hello, Vorg. You cut that a bit fine, didn't you?

We had a spot of bother here.

Doctor?

It's all right, Jo. We've made it.

What about the others?

- Others?
- On the ship.

I reversed the settings
and linked them to the Tardis.

- They should still be on the ship.
- Back in 1926 in the Indian Ocean?

Exactly.

(KNOCKING)

- Who is it?
- Only me.

- I didn't wake you, did I?
- No.

- I just wanted to say goodnight.
- I've been reading.

- Have you finished it?
- Yes.

Seems like the longest book I ever read.

It does seem to have been a long trip somehow.

- Daddy?
- Yes?

Oh...

Nothing.

Disappointing ending, you know.

Fellow became a missionary.
I thought he'd marry her.

You are an old romantic, aren't you, Daddy?

I bet half your stories
about the East are romances.

You'll see for yourself tomorrow. Bombay.

- I'm looking forward to it.
- I don't think young Andrews is.

That's what I mean, you see, romantic.

- Goodnight, Daddy.
- Goodnight, my child.

Sleep well.

The second monster was
barrelling in at 90 degrees,

and I swung like this, you see, keeping low,

and I gave him a quick burst right in the vitals.

We are all extremely grateful.
Your valour will not be forgotten.

It's my natural reaction to fight.

Our President will wish to honour
our Lurman guests for their courage.

A decoration, perhaps?

How will we live? The Scope's had it
and we've no credit-bars.

Leave that to me. I say, Pletrac,
let me show you a little trick.

Sorry. Now, I have here
three Magnum pods and a yarrow seed.

Now, I place the seed
under the middle pod, like so.

Now, I move them very, very slowly. Watch.

(VORG) Are you watching?

You tell me which pod you think the seed is under.

- The middle one.
- The middle one?

You wouldn't like to wager
a couple of credit-bars on your judgement?

Certainly. One will wager two credit-bars
that it's under the middle pod.

One can hardly discount
the evidence of one's eyes.

Oh. You're unlucky.

One was obviously too hasty.

One will not make the same mistake again.

Another little wager?

Five credit-bars. No...ten.

Whatever you say, Pletrac.
Thank you. I'm going to like it here.

You remind me of the Wallarians.
They're great sportsmen too.

I don't think we need to worry
about our friend Vorg.

He'll probably wind up president!

..Very slowly, like that. Keep watching.

You tell me which pod you think the seed is under.

(TARDIS WHOOSHES)