Doctor Who (2005–…): Season 2, Episode 0 - The Christmas Invasion - full transcript

RADIO: # Does he ride a red-nosed
reindeer? #

Turn that down!

Turn it off! Steve-o, turn it off.

Joe, shut up!

TARDIS WHOOSHES

TARDIS WHOOSHES

Rose!

Mickey! Jackie, it's the TARDIS!

I know, I heard it! She's alive,
Mickey! I said so, didn't I?
She's alive! Shut up a minute.

Where is it, then?

JACKIE SCREAMS



Here we are, then. London, Earth,
the Solar System. I did it!

Jackie! Mickey!

Blimey! No, no, no, hold on.

Wait there. What was I gonna say?

There was something I had to
tell you, something important.
What was it? Hold on, hold on.

Hold on. Shh.

Oh! I know!

Merry Christmas!

What happened? Is he all right?
I dunno, he just keeled over.
But where's the Doctor? That's him.

Right in front of you.
That's the Doctor.

What d'you mean, "That's
the Doctor"? Doctor who?

Here we go.

Tina the Cleaner's got this lodger,
medical student, and she was
fast asleep, so I just took it.

I still say we should take him
to a hospital. They'd lock him up.
They'd dissect him.



One bottle of his blood could
change the future of the human race.
Now shush!

HEARTBEAT SOUNDS

HEARTBEAT SOUNDS

Both working.
What d'you mean, "both"?

He's got two hearts.
Oh, don't be stupid. He has.

Anything else he's got two of?
Leave him alone!

How can he go changing his face?

Is that a different face
or is he a different person?

How should I know?

Sorry.

The thing is...
I thought I knew him, Mum.

I thought me and him were...

Then he goes and does this.

I keep forgetting he's not human.

The big question is, where did you
get a pair of men's pyjamas from?!

Howard's been staying over.
What? Howard from the market?
How long's that been going on?

A month or so. First,
he starts delivering to the door.
I thought, "That's odd."

Next thing you know, there's a bag
of oranges... Is that Harriet Jones?
Never mind me!

Why's she on telly?
She's Prime Minister now!
I'm 18 quid a week better off.

They're calling it Britain's
golden age. I keep on saying,
"My Rose has met her."

Did more than that.
Stopped World War Three with her.

Harriet Jones.

What about those calling the
Guinevere One Space Probe a waste
of money? I completely disagree.

The Guinevere One Space Probe
represents this country's
limitless ambition.

British workmanship, sailing
up there among the stars.

This is the spirit of Christmas,
birth, and rejoicing,
and the dawn of a new age.

That is what we're achieving,
50 million miles away.

Our very own miracle!

The unmanned probe Guinevere One
is about to make its final descent.

Photographs of the Martian
landscape should be received
by midnight tonight.

What d'you need, 20 quid?

D'you mind? I'll pay you back.
Call it a Christmas present.

God, I'm all out of synch.

You just forget about Christmas
and things in the TARDIS.

They don't exist.
You get sort of...timeless.

That's fascinating(!) I love
hearing stories about the TARDIS(!)

Go on, tell us another,
I could listen to it all day(!)

TARDIS this, TARDIS that...
Shut up!

Ooh, and one time,
the TARDIS landed in a big yellow
garden, full of balloons!

I'm not like that! You so are!

Must drive you mad. Surprised
you don't give up on me.

That's the thing, isn't it?
You can rely on me. I don't go
changing my face. Yeah.

What if he's dying? OK... Sorry!

Just let it be Christmas.
Can you do that?

Just for a bit?
You, me and Christmas.

No Doctor,

no bog-monsters, no life or death.

OK.

Promise? Yes!

Right. What are you
gonna get for your mum?

I'm round there all the time now.
She does my dinner on a Sunday.

She talks about you all afternoon.
Yap, yap, yap, yap...

A nice pen in a box.

BAND PLAYS: "God Rest Ye,
Merry Gentlemen"

It's us! They're after us.

What's going on? What have we done?
Why are they after us?!

Taxi!

They're after the Doctor.

I can't even go shopping with you!
We get attacked by a brass band!
Who are you phoning? My mum.

She turns up, no warning,
I've got nothing in.

I said, "Rose, if you want
a Christmas dinner
of meat paste, then so be it..."

Get off the phone!

Who were those Santa things?

I dunno, but think about it.
They were after us.
What's important about us?

Nothing, except we've got
the Doctor!

No, don't come round.

The flat's all topsy-turvy.

She just barges in
and litters the place.

Yeah, I'll come and see you
Boxing Day.

So save us a chipolata...

Get off the phone! It's only Bev.
She says hello.

Bev? Look, it'll have to wait.

It's not safe. We've gotta get out.
Where can we go?

My mate Stan will put us up.
That's only two streets away.
Where's Mo now?

I dunno, the Peak District.
We'll go to Cousin Mo's, then.

It's Christmas Eve,
we're not going anywhere!

What are you babbling about? Mum.

Where did you get that tree?
That's a new tree.

Where did you get it?
I thought it was you.

How can it be me? You went shopping.

There was a ring at the door,
and there it was. That wasn't me.

Then who was it?

You're kidding me.

"JINGLE BELLS" PLAYS

JACKIE SCREAMS

Go, go! Get out!

We've gotta save the Doctor. What
are you doing? We can't leave him.

Mickey!

Leave it. Get out, get out!
Mickey!

Get out of there!

No, leave him, just leave him.
Get in here!

Doctor, wake up!

I'm gonna get killed
by a Christmas tree!

Help me.

Remote control.

But who's controlling it?

That's them. What are they?

They've just gone!

What kind of rubbish were they?

They're not much cop if a sonic
screwdriver scares them off.

Pilot fish. What?

They were just pilot fish.

HE COUGHS
Aaargh!

What's wrong?

You woke me up too soon.

I'm still regenerating.
I'm bursting with energy.

You see? The pilot fish could
smell it, a million miles away,

so they eliminate the defence -
you lot - then carry me off.

They could run their batteries
off me for a couple of years...

My head! I'm having a
neuron implosion. I need...

What d'you need? Tell me. I need...
Painkillers? D'you need aspirin?

I need... Codeine? Paracetamol?
Pepto-Bismol?

Liquid paraffin? Vitamin C?
Vitamin D? Vitamin E?

Is it food? Something simple?
A bowl of soup? A nice bowl of soup.

Soup and a sandwich?
Soup and a little ham sandwich?
I need you to shut up.

He hasn't changed that much, has he?

We haven't got much time.

If there's pilot fish, then...

Why's there an apple in my dressing
gown? That's Howard, sorry.

He keeps apples in his dressing gown?
He gets hungry.

He gets hungry in his sleep?
Sometimes.

Graaaargh! Aaargh!

Brain, collapsing!

But the pilot fish...

The pilot fish mean that something...

Something...

Something's coming.

Jackie, I'm using the phone line.
Is that OK? Keep account of it.

It's midnight.

Christmas Day. Any change?

He's worse. Just one heart beating.

TV: Scientists in charge
of Britain's mission to Mars

have re-established contact
with the Guinevere One Space Probe.

They're expecting the first
transmission from the planet
in the next few minutes.

We're back on schedule.

We've received a signal
from Guinevere One.

The Mars landing would seem
to be an unqualified success.

Is it true you completely
lost contact earlier tonight?

Yes, we had a bit of a scare.

Guinevere seemed to fall off the
scope, but it was just a blip,
only disappeared for a few seconds.

She's fine now, absolutely fine.

We're getting the first pictures,
transmitted live, any minute now.

I'd better get back to it, thanks.

Here we go, pilot fish.

They're scavengers, like he said.
Harmless, they're just tiny.

But the little fish
swim alongside the big fish.

D'you mean like sharks?
Big sharks.

The Doctor means we've had them,
now we get that.

Something is coming.

How close?

I don't know, but the pilot fish
don't swim far from the daddy.
So it's close?

Funny sort of rocks.

That's not rocks.

TV: Coming live from the depths
of space on Christmas morn.

IT ROARS

The face of an alien life was
transmitted live tonight on BBC One.

On the 25th of December, the
human race has been shown absolute
proof that alien life exists.

These remarkable images have been
relayed across the world.

This way, sir.

Mr Llewellyn.

Mr Llewellyn, ma'am.
Harriet Jones, Prime Minister.

Yes, I know who you are.
Suppose I've ruined your Christmas.

Never off duty.
Now, we've put out a cover story,
Alex has been handling it.

We've said it was a hoax,
some sort of mask or prosthetics,

students hijacking the signal,
that sort of thing.

Alex is my right-hand man. I'm not
used to having a right-hand man.
I quite like it, though. So do I.

I don't suppose there is any chance
it was a hoax? That would be nice.
Then we could all go home.

I don't suppose anyone's
offered you a coffee? Um, no.
The transmission was genuine.

And this seems to be a new
species of alien. At least,
not one we've encountered before.

You seem to be talking about aliens
as a matter of fact.

There's an Act of Parliament
banning my autobiography.
Prime Minister? I'm with you.

Miss Jacobs can explain.

We haven't been introduced.
Harriet Jones, Prime Minister.
Yes, I know who you are.

The transmission didn't come
from the surface of Mars.

Guinevere One was broadcasting from
a point 5,000 miles above the planet.

In other words, they've got a ship,
and the probe is on board.

But if they're not from the surface,
they might not be from Mars.
Maybe they're not actual Martians.

Of course not.
Martians look completely different.

We think the ship was in flight when
they just came across the probe.
And they're moving.

The ship's still in flight now.
It's on the Hubble Array.

Moving in which direction?
Towards us. How fast?

Very fast. What was your name again?

Sally.

Thank you, Sally.

Rose! Take a look. I've got
access to the military.

They're tracking a spaceship.
It's big, fast and coming this way.

Coming for what? The Doctor?!

I don't know.
Maybe it's coming for all of us.

Gatz tak ka thaa!
Ka zu me fedrok,

ka zu me Sycorax!

Have you seen them before?

No.

Adzeek. Kwadra fi peloodza.

Kwadra fi milzon bor

Zu pedra kayi

Zu bandak.

Zu masak jal ban

kulja jiyi

sykora jak.

Translation software.

Yes, sir.

Di-ga gah!

I don't understand
what they're saying.

The TARDIS translates
alien languages, inside my head,
all the time, wherever I am.

So why isn't it doing it now?

I dunno. Must be the Doctor.

Like he's part of the circuit,
and he's...

.he's broken.

I'm getting demands
from Washington, ma'am.

The President is insisting that
he takes control of the situation.

You can tell the President,
and please use these exact words,

he's not my boss, and he's certainly
not turning this into a war.

What have we got? Nothing yet.
Translating an alien
language is going to take time.

How far off is the ship?

About five hours.

Despite claims of an alien hoax,
it's been reported that NATO
forces are on red alert.

Come on, sweetheart.

What do you need?

What is it you need? Tell me.

Speaking strictly off the record,
government sources are
calling this our longest night.

I don't suppose
we've had a Code Nine?

No sign of the Doctor? Nothing yet.

You've met him, haven't you?

More like the stuff of legend.
He is that.

Failing him...

What about Torchwood?

I'm not supposed to know about it,
I realise that.
Not even the UN knows.

But if ever there was a need
for Torchwood, it's now. I can't
take responsibility. I can.

See to it. Get them ready.

Prime Minister? Has it worked?
Just about.

"People," that could be cattle,

"you belong to us, to the Sycorax."

They seem to be called Sycorax,
not Martians.

"We own you. We now possess
your land, your minerals,
your precious stones.

"You will surrender
or they will die. Sycorax strong,
Sycorax mighty. Sycorax rock,"

as in the modern sense, "They rock!"

"THEY will die."

Not "YOU will die," "THEY will die."
Who's they?

I don't know, but it is the right
personal pronoun. It's "they".

Send them a reply.

Tell them this is a day of peace
on Planet Earth.

Tell them we extend that peace
to the Sycorax.

And then tell them

this planet is armed,
and we do not surrender.

The Doctor wouldn't do this,

the old Doctor, the proper Doctor.

He'd wake up. He'd save us.

You really love him, don't you?

They got the message.

Here comes the response.

HISSING

What was that?

Was that a reply?

I don't know. Looked like
some sort of energy, or static?

Almost like someone casting a spell.

Maybe it's a different form
of language, some sort of
ideogram or pictogram, or...

What the hell?

It's the light. It's the same light.

Sally? What are you doing? Sally?

Leave her, you'll hurt her.
Let them pass! Where are they going?

What is wrong with you?

Jason?

Jason?! Sandra!

He won't listen. He's just walking.

He won't stop walking.

There's a sort of light thing.

Jason!

Stop it! Right now.

Please, Jason.

They're all heading
in the same direction.

But it's only certain people.
Why isn't it affecting us?

It's happening all over the country.

Alan, stop this! It's not funny any
more. Come back inside the house!

Catrin, listen to Mummy, come
back inside now. And you Jonathan!

Come back in with Mummy.

Jonathan, come back in with Mummy.
You're scaring me now, come on!
Alan, help me out here, please!

As far as I can tell,
they're heading for any sort
of high-rise building.

Anything with stairs,
anything with steps.

They're going all the way up.
They're going to the roof.

Just making my way to
the front of the building.
There's hundreds of them.

Oh, my God, they're going right up
to the edge. They're all gonna jump!

Sally, stop it!

It's Danny Llewellyn,
Daniel Llewellyn.

Sally, just concentrate.
You're being controlled.

We need you.

Stop it, Sally!

Jason, I'm talking to you.

Just stop!

It's not just the whole country.

It's the whole world.

They've stopped.
They've all stopped.

They're just standing there.
Right on the edge.

According to reports,
it's like a third.

One third of the world's population,
two billion people, ready to jump.

Surrender or they will die.

What do we do?

Nothing.

There's no-one to save us.
Not any more.

Wait a minute. There is a pattern.

All these people tend to be
father and son, mother and daughter,
brothers and sisters.

Family groups, but not
husbands and wives. Oh, my God.

It's Guinevere One.

Have you got medical records
for all your staff?

Of course we have, yes.

What about Torchwood?

Still working on it.

Bear in mind, they just
lost a third of their staff.
But they do have what we need?

Yes, ma'am.

Tell them to hurry up.

Here it is! Sally Jacobs,
blood group, A Positive.

Who else walked out? Luke Parsons.

Luke Parsons, A Positive!

Geoffrey Baxter.

Baxter, A Positive. That's it.

They're all A Positive.
How many people in the world
are A Positive? No idea,

but I bet it's one third.

What's so special about that
blood group? Nothing, but...

It's my fault. Guinevere One,
it's got one of those plaques,
identifying the human race.

A message to the stars.

You don't expect anything
to come of it, but I put on
maps and music and samples.

There's wheat seeds and water and...

And blood.

A Positive.

The Sycorax have got a vial
of A Positive,

and, I don't know how, but through
that... They control the blood.

Oh, my God. There's only one more
thing I can try. Major! With me!

Ladies and gentlemen, if I may take
a moment during this terrible time.

It's hardly the Queen's speech.
I'm afraid that's been cancelled.

Did we ask about the Royal Family?

Oh...

they're on the roof.

But, ladies and gentlemen,
this crisis is unique,

and I'm afraid to say
it might get much worse.

I would ask you all to remain calm.

But I have one request.

Doctor?

If you're out there, we need you.

I don't know what to do.

If you can hear me, Doctor,
if anyone knows the Doctor,
if anyone can find him,

the situation has never
been more desperate.

Help us.

Please, Doctor, help us.

He's gone.

The Doctor's gone.

He's left me, Mum.

Left me, Mum.

Sonic wave! It's the spaceship,
it's hit the atmosphere!

LOW RUMBLING

Mickey, we're gonna carry him.

Mum, get your stuff, and get some
food, we're going. Where to?

The TARDIS. It's the only safe
place. What are we gonna do
in there? Hide. Is that it?

Look in the sky. There's
a great big alien invasion
and I don't know what to do, OK?

I've travelled with him and seen
all that stuff, but when
I'm stuck at home, I'm useless.

All we can do is run and hide,
and I'm sorry. Now move!

They're transmitting. On screen.

Bi kon zu padros
paliu ji-kor

pelda pelomni.

"Will the leader of this world
stand forward?"

I'm proud to represent this planet.

Zu kal fulak.

"Come aboard!"

How do I do that?

What's happening?

I would imagine it's called
a teleport.

CHEERING

It's a helmet.

They might be like us!

Or not.

Padz kaaaa.

Mum, will you leave that stuff
and give us a hand?

It's food. You said we need...
Just leave it!

Jal van korast akus bahkta.

"You will surrender,
or I will release the final curse,

"and your people will jump."

If I can speak...

Mr Llewellyn, you're a civilian. No.

I sent out the probe,
I made contact with these people.

This whole thing's my responsibility.

With respect, sir.

The human race is taking
its first step towards the stars,

but we are like children,
compared to you.

Children who need help.

Children who need compassion.

I beg of you now.
Show that compassion.

Aaaaaaaarrrrgh!

BONES RATTLE

That man was your prisoner!

Even your species must have
Articles of War forbidding...

Aaaaargh!
BONES RATTLE

Harriet Jones, Prime Minister.

Ja. Gunavijejo zu.

"Yes, we know who you are."
Jal wan kulja ji.

"Surrender or they will die."

If I do surrender,
how would that be better?

Ka tros gaven divi lisi kul...

"One half is sold into slavery

"or one third dies.

Zu kolsia.

"Your choice."

IT HISSES

No chance you could fly this thing?
Not any more. You did it before.

I know, but it's sort of been wiped
out of my head, like it's forbidden.

If I try it again, I think
the universe rips in half.

Better not, then. Maybe not.
What do we do? Just sit here?
That's as good as it gets.

Here we go, nice cup of tea.
Oh, the solution to everything(!)

Stop your moaning.
I'll get the rest of the food.

Tea!

It's like we're having a picnic,
while the world comes to an end.
Very British.

How does this thing work?

If it picks up TV, maybe
we can see what's going on.

Maybe we've surrendered. What d'you
do to it? It sort of tunes itself.

BEEPING

Vebkas fula. Kazful!

Sten fa fran. Zu kist...

The noise, the bleeping, they say
it's machinery. Foreign machinery.

They're accusing us of
hiding it, conspiring...

.Kora.

Kres ta forok si!

Bring it on board!

Rose?

Rose!

Maybe it's a distress signal. Fat
lot of good that's gonna do. Are
you gonna be a misery all the time?

Yes. Look at it from my point of
view. Stuck in here with
your mum's cooking! Where is she?

I'd better give her a hand. It might
start raining missiles out there.

Tell her anything from
a tin, that's fine.

Why don't you tell her yourself?
I'm not that brave. Oh, I dunno.

ROSE SCREAMS

Rose! Get off!

Get off me!

The door. Close the door!

Yas vil!

Rose! Rose!

I've got you!
My Lord, oh, my precious thing.

The Doctor, is he with you?

No.

We're on our own.

HE INHALES

Vos koonik

del panja zu krimit tak saya.

Vol, kufa zu prendis.

"The yellow girl.
She has the clever blue box.

"Therefore, she speaks
for your planet."

But she can't. Yeah, I can.

Don't you dare. Someone's
gotta be the Doctor.

They'll kill you.
Never stopped him.

CHEERING

I er...

I address the Sycorax...

.according to Article 15

of the Shadow Proclamation.

I command you to leave this world,

with all the authority of

the Slitheen Parliament of
Raxacoricofallapa-torious, and um...

the Gelth Confederacy...

as...

sanctioned...

by the Mighty Jagrafess and...

Ooh, the Daleks!

Now leave this planet in peace!

In peace.

SYCORAX LAUGH

Zu gan gan frak jil ay.

"You are very, very funny.

Zu gan chak chifuki!

"And now you're going to die."
Leave her alone! Don't touch her!

Zu gas gil fayna.

"Did you think you were clever

"with your stolen words?"

Gora ve Sycorax!

"We are the Sycorax.
We stride the darkness.

"Next to us,
you are but a wailing child.

"If you are the best your planet
can offer as a champion..."

Then your world will be gutted...
Then your world will be gutted...

and your people enslaved.

Hold on, that's English.
He's talking English.
You're talking English.

I would never dirty my tongue
with your primitive bile!

But that's English!
Can you hear English?

Yeah. English. Definitely English.

I speak only Sycoraxic!

If I can hear English,

then it's being translated,

which means it's working,

which means...

Did you miss me?

Rrrraaaargh!

You could have someone's eye
out with that! How dare...

You just can't get the staff.
Now you, just wait!

I'm busy.

Mickey, hello!

And Harriet Jones,
MP for Flydale North.

Blimey, it's like This Is Your Life.
Tea!

That's all I needed, good cup of tea,
a superheated infusion
of free radicals and tannin.

Just the thing to heal
the synapses. Now...

First things first. Be honest...

How do I look? Um...

Different.
Good different or bad different?

Just different.

Am I...

ginger?

No, you're just sort of brown.

I wanted to be ginger.
I've never been ginger.

And you, Rose Tyler, fat lot of
good you were! You gave up on me.
Ooh, that's rude.

Is that the sort of man I am now?
Am I rude? Rude and not ginger?

I'm sorry, who is this?
I'm the Doctor. He's the Doctor.

What happened to my Doctor? Or is
it a title that's just passed on?

I'm him. I'm literally him.

Same man, new face.
Well, new everything.

But you can't be... Harriet Jones.

We were trapped in Downing Street,
and the thing that scared you
wasn't the aliens, wasn't the war,

it was the thought of your mother
being on her own. Oh, my God!

Did you win the election?
Landslide majority.

If I might interrupt...

Yes, sorry. Hello, big fella.

Who exactly are you?

Well, that's the question.

I demand to know who you are!

I don't know!

That's the thing. I'm the Doctor,
but beyond that, I just don't know.

I literally do not know who I am.

It's all untested. Am I funny?

Am I sarcastic? Sexy?

A right old misery? Life and soul?
Right handed, left handed?

A gambler, a fighter, a coward,
a traitor, a liar, a nervous wreck?

Judging by the evidence,
I've certainly got a gob.

And how am I going to react
when I see this?

A great big threatening button.

A Great Big Threatening Button
Which Must Not Be Pressed
Under Any Circumstances, am I right?

Let me guess, it's some sort
of control matrix.
Hold on, what's feeding it?

What have we got here?

Blood?

Definitely blood, human blood,
A Positive, with just a dash of iron.

But that means...

Blood control. Blood control!

Oh, I haven't seen
blood control for years!

You're controlling
all the A Positives!

Which leaves us with a
great big stinking problem.

Cos I really don't know who I am.

I don't know when to stop.

So if I see a great big threatening
button, which should never,
ever, ever be pressed,

then I just wanna do this! No!

What the hell am I doing up here?

Get away from the edge!

You killed them! What d'you think,
big fella? Are they dead?
We allow them to live.

Allow?! You've no choice!

That's all blood control is,
a cheap bit of voodoo.

Scary, but that's it. It's like
hypnosis. You can hypnotise someone
to walk like a chicken

but you can't hypnotise them
to death.
Survival instinct's too strong.

Blood control was just one
form of conquest.

I can summon the Armada
and take this world by force.

Yeah, you could.
You could do that, course you could.

But why?!

Look at these people.
These human beings.

Consider their potential.

>From the day they arrive
on the planet, and blinking
step into the sun,

there is more to see
than can ever be seen,

more to do than... No, hold on.

Sorry, that's the Lion King.

But the point still stands.

Leave them alone.
Or what?

Or...

I challenge you!

SYCORAX LAUGH

Ohh, that's struck a chord.

Am I right that the sanctified rules
of combat still apply?

You stand as this world's
champion?

Thank you.

I've no idea who I am,
but you've just summed me up.

D'you accept my challenge

or are you just a cranak pel
casackree salvak?

SYCORAX CHEER

For the planet?
For the planet!

SYCORAX CHEER

Ha haaaaa!

Look out!

Yeah, that helps. I wouldn't have
thought of that.

Rrraaaargh!

Bit of fresh air?

Stay back! Invalidate the challenge
and he wins the planet.

Yaaargh!

Raaaargh!

You've cut my hand off!

Jah! Sycorax!

And now I know what sort of man I am.

I'm lucky. Cos quite by chance,
I'm still within the first 15
hours of my regeneration cycle,

which means I've got just enough
residual cellular energy to do this.

Witchcraft.

Time Lord.

Doctor!

So I'm still the Doctor, then?

No arguments from me!
Wanna know the best bit?

This new hand...
It's a fightin' hand!

I win.

Then kill me.

I'll spare your life if you'll
take this champion's command.

Leave this planet, and never return.

What do you say?
Yes.

Swear on the blood of your species!

I swear.

There we are. Thanks for that.
Cheers, big fella.

Bravo! That says it all.

Bravo!

Not bad for a man in his jim-jams.

Very Arthur Dent.
Now there was a nice man.

Hold on, what have I got in here?
A satsuma!

That friend of your mother's,
he does like his snacks.

Doesn't that just sum up Christmas?

You go through all those presents,
and right at the end,

tucked away at the bottom, there's
always one stupid old satsuma.

Who wants a satsuma?
Raaaargh!

Aaaaargh!

No second chances.
I'm that sort of a man.

By the ancient rites of combat,
I forbid you to scavenge here
for the rest of time.

And when you go back to the stars
and tell others of this planet,

when you tell them of its riches
its people, its potential...

When you talk of the Earth,

make sure that you tell them this -

it is defended.

Where are we?

We're just off Bloxham Road.

We're just round the corner.
We did it!

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Go on, my son! Oh, yes!

Yes, don't come back!

It is defended!

My Doctor. Prime Minister!

Absolutely the same man.

Are there many more out there?

Not just Sycorax.

Hundreds of species,
thousands of 'em.

And the human race is
drawing attention to itself.

Every day, you're sending out probes,

messages and signals.

This planet's so noisy.
You're getting noticed.

More and more.

You'd better get used to it.

Rose! Mum! Talking of trouble.
Oh, my God! We did it, mum!

You did it too! It was the tea!
Fixed his head!

That's all I needed! Cup of tea!
I said so! And look at him!

Is it him, though?
Is it really the Doctor?

Oh, my God, it's the bleedin'
Prime Minister! Come here, you!

Are you better?

It's a message from Torchwood.

They say they're ready.

You left me. Sorry.
And I had all the food!

Tell them to fire.

Fire at will.

What is that? What's happening?

That was murder. That was defence.

It's adapted from alien technology,
a ship that fell to Earth ten
years ago. But they were leaving!

You said yourself, Doctor,
they'd go back to the stars
and tell others about the Earth.

I'm sorry, Doctor, but you're not
here all the time.

It happened today.
Mr Llewellyn and the Major,
they were murdered, they died,

right in front of me
while you were sleeping.

In which case, we have to defend
ourselves. Britain's golden age.

It comes with a price.
I gave them the wrong warning.

I should have told them to run,
as fast as they can, run and hide.

Because the monsters are coming.
The human race.

Those are the people I represent.
I did it on their behalf.

And I should have stopped you.
What does that make you, Doctor?

Another alien threat?

Don't challenge me, Harriet Jones.
Cos I'm a completely new man.

I could bring down your government
with a single word.

You're the most remarkable man
I've ever met.

But I don't think you're
quite capable of that.

No, you're right. Not a single word.

Just six.
I don't think so. Six words.

Stop it. Six.

Don't you think she looks tired?

What did he say?
Nothing really, just...

What did he say?!
Nothing, I don't know... Doctor?!

Doctor! What did you...

What was that? What did he say?
What did you say, Doctor?!

Doctor!

I'm sorry.

# Well, I woke up today

# And the world
seemed a restless place

# It could have been
that way for me

# And I wandered around

# And thought of your face

# That Christmas,
looking back at me

# Ah, ah, ah-ah-ah-ah

# I wish today was just like
every other day

# Cos today has been the best day

# Everything I ever dreamed

# And I started to walk

# Very soon I will run

# And I'll be running back to you

# Cos I followed my star

# And that's what you are

# I've led a merry time with you

# Ah, ah, ah-ah-ah-ah... #

Oh, that's yours.

# I wish today was just like
every other day... #

It's pink! It should be yours.

Look, it's Harriet Jones!

TV: Is it true you're no longer fit
to be in position?

No. Can we talk about other things?

Is it true you're unfit for office?

There is nothing wrong with
my health. I don't know where
these stories are coming from

and a vote of no confidence
is unjustified.

PHONE RINGS
Will you resign?

On today of all days, I'm fine.
I'm fine! Look at me! I'm fine!
I look fine, I feel fine.

It's Bev. She says,
"Go and look outside." Why?

I dunno, just go outside and look.
Come on, shift!

Wow! Oh!

Wow!

That's beautiful.
What are they, meteors?

It's the spaceship.
Breaking up in the atmosphere.

This isn't snow, it's ash.

OK, not so beautiful.

And this is a brand-new Planet Earth.

No denying the existence of
aliens now, everyone saw it.

Everything's new. What about you?
What are you gonna do next?

Well...

Back to the TARDIS. Same old life.

On your own? Don't you want to come?
Well, yeah. Do you, though? Yeah.

I just thought...

Cos I changed.
I thought, cos you changed,
you might not want me any more.

I'd love you to come. OK!
You're never gonna stay, are you?

There's just so much out there.

So much to see.

I've got to.

Yeah.

I reckon you're mad.

The pair of you. It's like
you go looking for trouble.

Trouble's just the bits in between.

It's all waiting out there, Jackie.

Everything's brand-new to me,
all those planets,

creatures and horizons.

I haven't seen them yet,
not with these eyes.

And it is gonna be...

.fantastic!

That hand of yours
still gives me the creeps.

So, where are we gonna go first?

Um...

.that way. No, hold on.

That way. That way?

D'you think?

Yeah, that way.

Where are we going?
Further than we've ever gone.

I don't believe we've met.
I'm the Doctor.

May I introduce
Miss Sarah Jane Smith?

K9!

He said he'll talk to a wanderer,
to the man without a home.

Might I introduce Her Majesty,
Queen Victoria.

Give her back to me.

Bullets can't stop it.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd for BBC 2005
Converted by reirei for the forom