Doctor Who (2005–…): Season 10, Episode 8 - The Lie of the Land - full transcript

The Monks have been with
us from the beginning.

They shepherded humanity
through its formative years,

gently guiding and encouraging,

like a parent clapping their
hands at a baby's first steps.

They have been instrumental
in all the advances

of culture and technology.

They watched proudly as man
invented the light bulb,

the telephone

and the internet.

They were even there to welcome
the first men on the moon.

It's one small step for man,



one giant leap for mankind.

And they have defended us too.

Who can forget the time the
Monks defeated the Daleks,

the Cybermen,

the Weeping Angels?

Two species, sharing a history as
happily as they share a planet,

humanity and the Monks are a
blissful and perfect partnership.

How lucky Earth is

to have an ally as powerful
and tender as the Monks,

that asks for nothing in return for
their benevolence but obedience.

Go! Go! Go! Get down! On your knees!

Hands on your heads!

Get down! On your knees!

Get down!



Search the room!

- Jane Bishop.
- That's me.

You are charged with the
manufacture and possession

of propaganda intended to
undermine the True History.

This is in contravention of the
Memory Crimes Act of 1975.

1975?

The Monks have only
been here a few months!

Therefore I sentence you to
ten years in a labour camp.

Take her away.

- Come on!
- Be a good boy for Mummy!

The Monks have only
been here a few months!

Fight back! It's all lies!

Get in!

- You know it's all lies!
- In there.

Right, nothing to see, move along!

So, relax, do as you're told.

Your future is taken care of.

Hello, Mum.

The Monks...

The Monks have only been
here for six months.

I can't remember how I escaped, Mum.

I asked for their help and then...

And then there's nothing.

And then I woke up and
the Monks were here,

and they'd always been here.

Come with me!

Everything they told us,
all that we believe now,

is a lie.

But I don't understand it, because
no-one's saying anything.

It's like... like they've
been brainwashed.

With those who would do them harm

by implementing a swift
and painless death.

Praise be the justice of the Monks.

I travelled with a man called the Doctor

and his friend called Nardole,

and I did this to save him.

I'm trying to stay strong without them

but, every day, it's harder to
remember what's real any more.

If you suspect a colleague, a
neighbour or a family member

of being a memory criminal...

And I know how it looks, Mum,

with all the stuff that he's
been saying on the telly,

but it's all right, because
I know he has a plan.

And one day soon, he's going
to come back and save us all.

One day...

What are you doing?! It's me, Nardie!

No... Wait. Shut up. Tell me
something. That first time,

with the Heather creature chasing
us, where did we run away to?

- Australia.
- What noise should spaceship doors make?

Shuck-shuck! Obviously.

Oh, God!

It happened.

I knew it.

It all really happened.

Ow!

- Where have you been?!
- That hurt me, that really hurt me!

I needed you!

Well, I got contaminated by that
bacteria in the lab, didn't I?

I was laid up for six weeks. If
I was human, I would have died.

Right now, you'd be talking to...

Come to think of it, who
were you talking to?

Um...

My...

Um... my mum.

I thought your mum...

Died...

You know, when you were...

Little.

I made up a version of her.

Yeah, I talk to her all the time.

Oh...

Well, that's not that weird.

I used to have an imaginary friend.

Until he left me for someone else.

I know, charming!

They're doing something to us. The
Monks. I can't think straight.

It's like they're saying
they've been here for ever,

and I know they haven't,

but part of me is starting
to think that it's real.

Every day, I have to remind
myself that everything that you,

me and the Doctor did actually happened,

and it wasn't just a dream.

Why do it?

That's what I don't get.

They invade somewhere, take control.

Why go to the trouble
of changing the past?

However bad a situation is,

if people think that's
how it's always been,

they'll put up with it.
That's 90% of the job done.

Wait, you said you were
ill for six weeks.

- Mmm.
- What have you been doing since then?

Looking for the Doctor.

Have you found him?

Well, let's just say...

- Yes, yes, yes, I found him!
- Ha!

So...

All anyone's seen of the
Doctor in the last six months

- are those broadcasts he does.
- He's faking it, I'm positive.

He hasn't joined the Monks.
He's being held prisoner.

He's just biding his time, waiting.

The thing is, the Monks have
got some kind of scrambler,

so no-one can trace the broadcasts.

Lucky, then, that I have got this!

It traces the source of the signal
and gives a map coordinate.

Cool! Where'd you get it?

Found it in the TARDIS.

Yeah, it was in one of the drawers

with some old takeaway
menus and 50 Danish krone.

Anyway, this is them.

So he's at sea?

Mm-hm. Yeah.

Yeah. The Monks have got him on
one of the old prison boats.

Hulks, they used call them.

- So, how do we get to him?
- Every six weeks,

all their food and fuel and stuff

gets taken to them by a supply boat.

The next delivery is in two days' time,

off the coast of Scotland.

That's our chance!

Yeah, that really has to stop.

It's happening, Mum.

I knew it would!

So, Nardole has made contact with
the captain of the supply boat

that runs to and from the prison ship

where the Doctor's being held.

His son is serving ten
years in a labour camp

for possession of a box of comics,

so he's no fan of the Monks.

He'll get us on board the prison ship.

Security is really tight, obviously,

but Nardole says there's not been
much in the way of resistance

since the Monks took over,

so they're more worried about
the Doctor getting out

than anyone getting in.

But what we don't want is for them

to do a spot-check on
our identity papers.

Papers! Spot check.

Nardole doesn't have any,

and I'm down as
university kitchen staff.

It's them!

All right, what are you waiting for?

We need to get this stuff
on board. Chop chop.

- Come on!
- Come on!

After that, we're on our own.

Over the years, I have encountered
innumerable civilisations,

but never one as
benevolent as the Monks.

Their grace and humility...

No, their grace and philanthropy
is matched only by their...

Careful.

Doctor?

Doctor, it's me.

Guards!

What are you doing here?

What does it look like?
We've come to save you.

This is your doing, isn't it?

You shouldn't be here. I'll
have to talk to the Monks now.

- Doctor...
- Stop. Don't. Don't move.

They will kill you.

Stay where you are.

Epsilon. Fire.

Jupiter. Lily.

The Monks are on their way.

When they get here, let
me do the talking.

Wait, what was that?

Did you actually just
call them, you nutter?

You deserve an explanation.

Human society is...

stagnating.

You've stopped moving forward.

In fact, you're regressing.

- This isn't exactly much better.
- It's safer.

Not so much for the people
the Monks are killing.

The Romans killed people

and saved billions more
from disease, war, famine

and barbarism.

No, wait.

What about free will?

You believe in free will.
Your whole thing is...

You made me write a 3,000-word
essay on free will.

Yes, well, I mean,

you had free will, and look
at what you did with it!

Worse than that, you had history.

History was saying to you,

"Look, I've got some examples of
fascism here for you to look at!

No? Fundamentalism? No?

Oh, okay, you carry on."

I had to stop you,

or at least not stand in the way
of someone else who wanted to,

because the guns were getting bigger,

the stakes were getting higher,

and any minute now it was going
to be goodnight, Vienna.

By the way, you never
delivered that essay, anyway.

Because the world was
invaded by zombie Monks!

And whose fault was that?

Huh? I didn't ask for my sight back.

No, you took it upon
yourself to ignore me,

to do what you thought was best.

All I can say is that we are
lucky it was a benevolent race

like the Monks, not the Daleks.

Yes, I know the Monks are ruthless,

I get that. Yes, they play with history

and I'm not exactly thrilled about that,

but they bring peace and order.

Ok.

Yeah, yeah, I get it.

It's like that time we discovered
that huge fish creature

in the Seine in Paris.

That was a coded message.

The big fish creature
was under the Thames.

If I'd played along, she'd have
known that I was tricking you.

Guns down.

I'm sorry, Bill.

I just... I just...

I really wanted to make you see.

This...

This is real.

You...

You're actually...

You're actually doing this.

Do you have any idea

how hard the past few months have been?

How hard it's been to
hold onto to the truth?

It would have been so
easy to just give in

and believe their lies.

But I didn't.

I fought against it.

For you!

For when you came back.

And now you're saying
you've joined them?

You're helping them?

Bill, put the gun down.

I'm serious, Doctor.

We'll think of something else.

But you better tell me now.

Because if you help the Monks,

then nothing will ever stop them.

They'll be here for ever.

It's not a trick, it's not a
plan. I have joined the Monks.

Whatever it takes,

I'm going to save you from yourselves.

Good girl!

Regeneration a little bit too much?

No, I thought it was a nice touch.

"Too much" was Richard asking
for our identity papers.

I couldn't resist it. Your face.

Er, hello?

Could somebody tell me
what the hell is going on?

You did it.

You did it!

The Monks are using some kind of...

you know, something,

to control the population.

They must be, otherwise they
wouldn't have been able to

hold on to power for this long.

Now, they don't trust
me yet, not completely,

and I had to just check that you
weren't under the influence

- and testing me.
- So you...

You... you haven't turned?

You're not working for them?

No, of course not!

I've spent the last six months planning,

and also recruiting all these chaps.

Deprogramming them one by one,

talking some sense into them.

And there's loads of them, I
could do with a Strepsil!

But I shot you.

Yes, well, that was the plan, you see?

Everyone exchanged
their ammo for blanks.

- Ahem.
- Did you forget, Dave?

You forgot?

Well, that would have really
blown the plan, wouldn't it?

But you called the Monks.

I called the kitchen.

Oh, could you pop down
and explain it to them?

They're going to be really confused.

And you were in on this too?

It was partly his idea.

Oh, my... God.

- I'm going to beat the sh...
- No! No!

Oh, come on, come on,

we've got the band back together again!

Now, lovely as it is
to have you on board,

literally and metaphorically,

we're going to need some help.

So, who are we going to get?

The only person I know
almost as smart as me.

Oh...

I see.

Blimey.

Has it really come to that?

Mum, it's me.

We're coming back.

We could have snuck back in, but
the Doctor being the Doctor...

By the time we got back
to the university,

the Monks were waiting for us...

of course.

We weren't headed to his office, though.

Even so, the Doctor was
nervous, Mum. I could tell.

He had to do this, he said.

He had to open the vault.

Move into the containment field, please.

But it's...

It's just a woman.

The way you and Nardole
have been carrying on,

I thought you had a monster
in here, or something!

I do.

Missy...

Bill.

Bill, Missy,

the other Last of the Time Lords.

Wait a sec.

Why have you got a woman
locked in a vault?

Because even I think that's weird,
and I've been attacked by a puddle.

She's going cold turkey from being bad.

I want to ask if you've had any
dealings with the Monks before.

Of course! I've had adventures too.

My whole life doesn't revolve
around you, you know?

- Did you defeat them?
- I did.

How?

I've got some requests.

I want some new books, some toys,

like a particle accelerator,

a 3-D printer and a pony.

I don't think that you really
grasp what's going on here.

Nice people generally don't
haggle over the fate of a planet.

I once built a gun out of leaves.

Do you think I couldn't get
through a door if I wanted to?

I'm here, all right? I'm
engaging with the process.

Okay, yeah, we can get
those things for you.

C'est super!

So, what have you got so far?

They hold on to power by
targeting the part of the brain

specifically to do with memory
and perception, correct? Right?

Getting warm. Fingers tingling.

But they target it with what
exactly? How do they sustain it?

How do their lies infiltrate
the brains of billions?

Is it some kind of
airborne psychoactive?

No, no, that's very cold, very cold.

Something that's constantly
being fed to the populace,

constantly consolidating its
hold. Is it in the water?

God, no. It's freezing,
freezing, absolutely freezing.

Couldn't be colder, very,
very, chilly, so, so chilly.

Oh, come on.

I'm bored! You haven't been
to see me in six months.

No-one has!

Not even that bald bloke
who looks like an egg!

You left her alone in
here for six months?!

I was in prison for six months!

Start at the beginning.

How do they get a foothold on a planet?

Some idiot asks for their help.

Not just any idiot.

It has to be a properly
consenting human mind.

A pure request, one without
agenda or ulterior motive.

It's them.

That person creates a psychic link,

which forms an anchor that
keeps the Monks in power.

They're the lynchpin!

Scalding! Ow!

But the brainwaves of one person
wouldn't be powerful enough

to contain an entire planet...

The statues!

As soon as they got here,
the Monks put up statues!

In every town square, in every
park and every playground!

You're on fire, you're literally
on fire you're so caliente.

That's Spanish for "hot".

The statues are transmitters!

They boost the signal and beam
it out all around the world!

Boom! You've exploded.

Now, all you have to do is find
whoever opened the door to

- the Monks in the first place.
- Say I already have.

Oh, well, then you're sorted.

Just kill them. That weakens
the Monks' grip on the world.

No, no, no, that can't be right.

There are planets that the Monks
have ruled for thousands of years.

It's passed on through the bloodline.

Usually the lynchpin goes on to
lead a normal life, have their

own family, and the link is passed
down through the generations.

But the Monks must have worked that out.

- They've been doing this for millennia.
- Why?

If the link is passed on, the
Monks stay in charge through,

they think, their
ruthlessness and efficiency.

But if the lynchpin dies and the
link isn't passed on and the

Monks get booted off the planet,
they just chalk it up to experience.

No, it's okay.

I want to speak to her.

Yes?

So when you defeated the
Monks, that's how you did it?

Well, at this point, all that
was left of the bloodline

was a wee girl, and I just
pushed her into a volcano.

It's me. The lynchpin is me.

Awwwk-waaard...

So you're saying I have to die.

No. If you were just to die,

everyone's false memories
would have to fade,

and that could take ages.

It's actually better
if you keep breathing,

if your brain just keeps transmitting...

well, nothing. That would blot
out the residue false memories.

What would be left of me?

You'd be a husk. Completely
and irrevocably brain-dead.

You couldn't even get on
Celebrity Love Island.

Even if that was the truth, the
fact that you're suggesting it

shows there's been no
change, no hope, no point.

We don't sacrifice people. It's
wrong... because it's easy.

Back in the day, I'd burn an
entire city to the ground just to

see the pretty shapes the smoke made.

I'm sorry your plus one
doesn't get a happy ending,

but, like it or not, I
just saved this world

because I want to change.

Your version of good is not absolute.

It's vain, arrogant and sentimental.

If you're waiting for me
to become all that...

I'm going to be here
for a long time yet.

- What did she say?
- Nothing.

There's a way to defeat them.

There isn't. Well, there
is, but not that.

Come on! You knew she was going
to say something like this.

That's why you needed me back.

You could have escaped from that ship.

You could have started something
to defeat the Monks without me.

I wanted you back by my side because
it's the safest place in the world.

- Can someone...? What did she say?
- She said it's me.

I asked the Monks for help
and started all of this,

so I have to be the one to finish it.

The only downside is,
if that's what we do...

well, it's not worth me
starting any long books.

Ok, well, ah, let's put a pin
in it for now, as they say,

and, ah, see if we can
think of something else.

You said the safest place
for me was by your side.

That's what's protecting the Monks.

It's why their plan works.

The Cathedral. The Monks' headquarters.

Oh, yes. We're going to
have to break in there.

Why?

Somewhere in there, the Monks
must have some kind of machine

that creates and broadcasts
the myths of their history,

the ones that are powered by,
carried by, fed by your brainwaves.

So, we get in, I plug myself into it
and replace the signals that they

are receiving with my brainwaves

and beam out the true
history of the world.

Oh, yes! I could even throw
in some other stuff.

The things that I could
change just by thinking.

Racism. People who talk in cinemas!

Are you sure?

This would be an incredibly
sophisticated transmitter,

powerful enough to beam
highly detailed propaganda

to the entire world 24 hours a day,

and you're going to plug
your brain into it?

I know. It doesn't stand a chance.

That's odd, there's no Monks
guarding the entrance.

Come away from the window.

How many Monks were there?

- About 12 Monks there.
- 12?

Well, you have to admit,
that's ever so clever.

You see? Another way they hang
on to power is to create a myth

that they're here in greater
numbers than they really are.

The beam is stronger here, isn't
it? I can almost hear it.

It's so hard to hang on to any
thought of life before the Monks.

Yes, and it's going to get stronger

the closer we get to the transmitter.

The lies are going to
become more convincing.

You'll want to turn around. You
won't know what you're doing here

or why you're working against the Monks.

Have you all got your
stereo, headphone, iThing?

Yeah. You never told us
what we needed these for.

Ah, this is where you come in.

The Monks are not our friends.

They have invaded Earth and
made its people slaves.

They cling onto power by means
of a powerful transmitter

broadcasting myths and lies

that suggest that they
have always been here.

In fact, they have only
been here a few months

and have falsified and
manipulated our history.

Our mission is to interrupt
their broadcast and replace it

with the true history of Earth,

which will weaken and
undermine the Monks' power.

The Monks are not our friends.

They have invaded Earth and
made its people slaves.

They cling onto power by means
of a powerful transmitter,

broadcasting myths and lies

that suggest that they
have always been here.

Take cover!

In fact, they have only
been here a few months

and have falsified and
manipulated our history.

Our mission is to
interrupt their broadcast

and replace it with the
true history of Earth,

which will weaken and
undermine the Monks' power.

The Monks are not our friends.
They have invaded Earth...

Reload it now!

Are you okay?

Yeah, I think it's my...

Oh...

Doctor!

It's in here.

Everything all right, Alan?

You tricked us.

You tried to make us believe
the Monks were invaders.

How could you say that?

They've always been here, you know that.

Uh-huh.

Oh, I see.

The Monks are our friends.

I won't let you hurt them.

I'll die first.

I'll kill you first.

Tarovian Neck Pinch.

Yeah, I studied their martial
arts for a while, actually.

Reached the level of Brown Tabard.

Can't do it with this hand though.

Kind of bugs me. Course, this
wasn't my original hand,

as you know. I won this in a game of...

Yeah, let's...

crack on.

Fake News Central.

I can think.

They're not in my head, why is that?

We're in the eye of the storm.

Guard the doors. We
can't be interrupted.

Boo!

Not necessary.

Ok, he's out, let's do this.

It's working!

The Monks are disappearing!

Oh, I didn't agree to this.

What's happening?

He's fighting back.

He's blocking me, countering every move.

Look!

Oh, no, no, no.

Argh!

Doctor!

I wanted to do it before you woke up.

But I had to say goodbye.

Bill, whatever you're planning,
there's no need for this.

Let me try again. He caught me unawares.

Cup of tea and I'll get my second wind.

Even your brain couldn't stand
another roasting like that.

So we'll find another way.
Let me talk to Missy again.

We have the answer! Doctor, please!

I don't want our last
conversation to be this.

I don't want this to be
our last conversation.

Goodbye, Doctor.

Thank you.

God, it was worth it.

Bill...

Bill, no, don't, Bill. Bill, Bill!

It will kill you, Bill.

It's too powerful!

Bill! I... I order you!

I'm ordering you not to do this!

Bill!

Nardole, untie me!

Nardole, untie me now!

Bill, don't do this!

Ok.

I don't usually let someone erase
my brain on the first date,

but seeing as it's you...

No!

Oh, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no!

They're hijacking her memories.

Infecting them like a virus.

She's just reinforcing their lies.

She's dying for nothing!

Argh! There must be a way
to shut this thing down!

Hello, Mum.

Doctor, look!

You clever, brilliant, ridiculous girl!

Look at that! All the pictures I
gave you! I thought I was just

being kind, but I was saving the world.

Bill, if there's any of you
left in there, listen,

you have to keep thinking about
your mum, the memory you created.

Her voice, her smile, the
Monks can't get near it.

Fill your mind with it!
Push it into every corner.

Bill.

Mum!

She's filling its mind with
one pure, uncorrupted,

irresistible image.

And it's broadcasting it to the
world, because it can't help it.

All those years you kept
her alive inside you,

an isolated subroutine in a living mind.

Perfect, untouchable.

She's a window on the
world without the Monks.

Absolutely loved, absolutely trusted.

And that window is opening everywhere.

A glimpse of freedom.

But a glimpse...

is all you need.

The lie is breaking!

Bill's mum, you just went viral!

You did it, you broke the signal.

What are the Monks going to do?

What oppressors always do when they
realise who's really in power...

They run.

This is exciting, isn't it?

Kind of... It's like a turning point.

Humans have learned that they can
overthrow dictators and stuff,

they just have to band together.

It's not quite as simple as that.

You, Appalling Hair, this thing
that we're sitting on, what is it?

Uh, we thought they were just like
filming something here or something?

Thank you. Very helpful.

Now go away, or something.

You see?

The Monks have erased themselves.

Humanity is doomed to never
learn from its mistakes.

Well, I guess that's part of our charm.

No, it's really quite annoying.

Anyway, I mustn't keep you.

3,000 words.

The Mechanics of Free Will.

Now six months overdue.

Why do you put up with us, then?

In amongst seven billion...

there's someone like you.

That's why I put up
with the rest of them.

I keep remembering all
the people I've killed.

Every day I think of more.

Being bad...

Being bad drowned that out.

I didn't know I even knew their names.

You didn't tell me about this bit.

I'm sorry, but this is good.

Ok.

There were humans on
Mars in Victorian times?

No, there weren't.

- Faraday asked for my help.
- In return for what?

Halt!

This could be the entrance
to an Ice Warrior hive.

Faraday has been using you all along.

His aim was to get back to
Mars and find his queen.

Rise, my Ice Warriors!

Rise!

I dare say the British Army is
more than a match for a bunch

of upright crocodiles!

You don't stand a chance
when you see those warriors.