Doctor Who (2005–…): Season 1, Episode 4 - Aliens of London - full transcript

There's a strange man
in my bedroom.

No.

- Mum?
- I'm in town.

Look, just go home!
Just go home right now.

Darling, you're breaking up.

Mum?

Right, then! I'll be off.

Unless... I don't know.
You could come with me.

- Is it always this dangerous?
- Yeah.

How long have I been gone?

About 12 hours.



Oh! Right, I won't be long.
I just want to see my mum.

- What're you gonna tell her?
- I don't know.

I've been to the year
five billion

and only been gone,
what, 12 hours?

No, I'll just tell her
I spent the night at Sharine's.

See you later.

Oh! Don't you disappear.

I'm back! Sharine,
she's all upset again.

Are you in?

So, what's been going on?
How've you been?

What? What's that face for? It's not the first
time I stayed out all night.

It's you.

Course it's me.

Oh, my God, it's you.
Oh, my God.



It's not 12 hours,
it's 12 months.

You've been gone a whole year.
Sorry!

(DOCTOR WHO THEME';

The hours I sat here,
days and weeks and months.

All on my own!
I thought you were dead.

And where were you?
Traveling!

What the hell does that mean,
traveling?

That's no sort of answer!

You ask her,
she won't tell me.

That's all she says,
"traveling".

- That's what I was doing.
- Well, your passport's still in the drawer.

It's just one lie
after another!

I meant to phone,
I really did. I just... I forgot.

What, for a year?
You forgot for a year?

And I'm left sitting here?

I just don't believe you!

Why won't you tell me
where you've been?

Actually, it's my fault.

I sort of employed Rose
as my companion.

When you say companion,
is this a sexual relationship?

- No!
- No!

Then what is it?

Because you,
you waltz in here, all charm and smiles,

and the next thing I know,
she vanishes off the face of the Earth!

How old are you, then, 40, 45?

What, did you find her
on the Internet?

Did you go online
and pretend you're a doctor?

- I am a doctor.
- Prove it. Stitch this, mate.

Did you think about me at all?

I did, all the time, but...

One phone call.
Just to know that you were alive.

I'm sorry, I really am.

But do you know
what terrifies me is that you still can't say.

What happened to you, Rose?

What can be so bad
that you can't tell me, sweetheart?

Where were you?

I can't tell her.
I can't even begin.

She's never gonna forgive me.

And I missed a year.
Was it good?

- Middling.
- You're so useless.

Well, if it's this much
trouble, are you gonna stay here now?

I don't know.

Can't do that to her again,
though.

Well, she's not coming
with us.

- No chance!
- I don't do families.

She slapped you!

900 years of time and space, and I've never
been slapped by someones mother.

Your face.

- It hurt!
- You're so gay!

When you say 900 years...

That's my age.

- You're 900 years old.
- Yeah.

My mum was right.
That is one hell of an age gap.

Ugh!

Every conversation
with you just goes mental.

There's no one else
I can talk to.

I've seen all that stuff
up there,

the size of it,
and I can't say a word.

Aliens and spaceships
and things,

and I'm the only person
on planet Earth who knows they exist.

Oh, that's just not fair.

All right, all right!
Keep your hair on! It's not my fault, is it?

I can't move anywhere!

Ah, just my luck.

Stay back, please.
Back, thank you.

It's blocked off.

We're miles
from the center.

The city must be gridlocked.

The whole of London
must be closing down.

I know, I can't believe
I'm here to see this. This is fantastic.

- Did you know this was going to happen?
- Nope!

- Do you recognize the ship?
- Nope!

- Do you know why it crashed?
- Nope!

Oh, I'm so glad I got you.

I bet you are.
This is what I travel for, Rose,

to see history happening
right in front of us.

Well, let's go
and see it.

Never mind the traffic.
We've got the Tardis.

Hmm, better not.

They've already got
one spaceship in the middle of London.

And I don't wanna shove
another one on top.

Yeah, but yours looks
like a big, blue box. No one's gonna notice.

You'd be surprised,
an emergency like this.

There'll be all kinds
of people watching.

Trust me, the Tardis
stays where it is.

So history's happening,
and we're stuck here?

Yes, we are.

We could do
what everybody else does.

We could watch it on TV.

Big Ben destroyed as a
UFO crash-lands in central London.

Police reinforcements
are drafted in from across the country

to control widespread panic,
looting and civil disturbance.

A state of national emergency
has been declared.

Tom Hitchingson
is at the scene.

The police urge the public
not to panic.

Here's the helpline number
on screen right now,

if you're worried
about friends or family.

The military
are on the lookout for more spaceships.

Until then, all flights in North American
airspace have been grounded.

The Army are sending
divers into the wreck of the spaceship.

No one knows
what they're going to find.

The President will address the nation
live from the White House,

but the Secretary General
has asked that people watch the skies.

- I've got no choice.
- You've broken your mother's heart.

- Either I make him welcome...
- She's sobbing in my arms.

- ...or I risk never seeing you again.
- I cradled her like a child!

Oi! I'm trying to listen!

News is just coming in.

And we can go to Tom
at the Embankment.

They've found a body.

It's unconfirmed,
but I'm being told

that a body has been found
in the wreckage,

a body
of non-terrestrial origins.

It's being brought ashore.

A body of some sort has been found
inside the wreckage of a spacecraft.

Guess who asked me out?
Billy Croot!

Unconfirmed reports
say the body is of extra-terrestrial origin.

An extraordinary event
unfolding here live in Central London.

The body is being transferred
to a secure unit mortuary.

The whereabouts
as yet unknown.

The roads in Central...

And when you
stuff your fins on, you can cover the whole lot

with butter cream.
Oh, look at that!

Then ice it
any color you want.

And here's one I made
a little bit earlier. And look at that!

Your very own
spaceship, ready to eat.

And for something
a little extra special...

Albion Hospital.

We still don't know
if it's alive or dead.

Whitehall is denying
everything.

But the body has
been brought here.

Albion Hospital. With the roads closed
off, it's the closest to the river.

Go on.

I'm being told that's General
Asquith now entering the hospital.

The building's evacuated,
patients moved out onto the streets.

The police still won't confirm
the presence of an alien body

contained inside those walls.

Let's have a look, then.

Good God!

And that's real?

It's not a hoax
or a dummy, or...

I've x-rayed the skull.

It's wired up
inside like nothing I've ever seen before.

No one could make this up.

We've got experts
being flown in.

Until they arrive,
get that out of sight.

Excuse me, sir.

I know it's a state of emergency and
there's a lot of rumor flying around,

but is it true
what they're saying?

About the Prime Minister?

Mystery still surrounds
the whereabouts of the Prime Minister.

He's not been seen since
the emergency began.

The opposition are criticizing
his lack of leadership...

Hold on.

Oh, that's Joseph Green,
MP for Hartley Dale.

He's chairman of the
parliamentary commission

on the monitoring
of sugar standards in exported confectionery.

With respect,
hardly the most important person right now.

Indra Ganesh, sir.
Junior secretary with the MOD.

I'll be your liaison.

Where the hell is he?

If we could talk in private,
sir? Follow me upstairs.

Excuse me.

Harriet Jones.
MP for Flydale North.

I'm sorry. Can it wait?

But I did have
an appointment at 3:15.

Yes, and then
a spaceship crashed in the middle of London.

Think the schedule
might've changed.

You've heard
about the alien body, sir?

Never mind that. Where is he?

Where's the Prime Minister?

No one knows, sir.
He's disappeared.

I have to inform you that
with the city gridlocked

and the cabinet stranded
outside London,

that makes you
acting Prime Minister with immediate effect.

Oh, Lord! Oh, hold On.

Pardon me.
It's a nervous stomach.

Anyway-

Margaret Blaine,
she's with MI5.

There's no more
information, sir.

I personally escorted the Prime Minister
from the cabinet room to his car.

This is Oliver Charles,
transport liaison.

The car's disappeared.
There's no record of it, sir.

It literally vanished.

Right. Inside.
Tell me everything.

Er, sir?

The emergency protocols,

detailing the actions
to be taken by the government of Great Britain

in the event
of an alien incursion.

Right. Good!

Blimey!

Pardon me.

Let's work, eh?

And where do you think
you're going?

Nowhere.

It's just a bit human
in there for me.

History just happened,
and they're talking about where they can buy

dodgy top-up cards
for half price.

I'm off on a wander,
that's all.

Right. There's a spaceship
on the Thames, and you're just wandering.

Nothing to do with me.
It's not an invasion.

That was a genuine
crash-landing.

Angle of descent,
color of smoke, everything. It was perfect.

- So?
- So, maybe this is it!

First contact.

The day mankind officially
comes into contact with an alien race.

I'm not interfering,
'cause you gotta handle this on your own.

That's when the human race
finally grows up.

Just this morning
you were tiny and small and made of clay.

Now you can expand!

You don't need me.
Go and celebrate history.

Spend some time with your mum.

Promise you won't disappear?

Tell you what. Tardis key.

About time you had one.
See you later.

Oi, gorgeous,
come back and join the party!

Oh, my God!

Oi! Doctor!

Doctor!

I bet no one's
brought you a coffee.

- Thank you.
- Pleasure.

You still can't go in.

Damn, you've seen through
my cunning plan.

Hmm. Look, I'm sorry,
it's just impossible.

Not even for two minutes?

I don't get many chances
to walk these corridors,

I'm hardly one of the Babes,
just a faithful backbencher.

And I know we've had
a brave new world

land right on our doorstep,
and that's wonderful.

I think
that's probably wonderful.

Nevertheless, ordinary life
keeps ticking away.

I need to enter this paper.

Oh! Mr. Green, sir.

I know you're busy, but could you put
this on the next cabinet agenda?

- What is it?
- Cottage hospitals.

I've worked out a system

whereby cottage hospitals do not have to be
excluded from Centers of Excellence.

You see, my mother's
in the Flydale Infirmary,

that's my constituency,
tiny little place, you wouldn't know it.

But it's given me
a chance to...

By all the saints,
get some perspective, woman!

I'm busy!

Defense plan Delta!
Come on, move! Move!

It's alive.

Spread out,
tell the perimeter it's a lockdown.

Oh, my God, it's still alive!

Do it!

Mick! Terry! Side rooms! Now!

Clear!

Room clear!

- Keep it moving!
- Clear!

I swear, it was dead.

Coma, shock,
hibernation, anything. What does it look like?

It's still here.

Hello.

Don't shoot!

What did you do that for?
It was scared!

It was scared!

I've got the White House phoning me direct

because Downing Street
won't answer their call!

This is outrageous.

We haven't even started
the vaccination program.

This is appalling.

The nations of the world
are watching the United Kingdom.

Well, it has all been
a bit of a shock.

This is the greatest crisis in
modern history, and you've done nothing.

Your behavior
has been shameful, sir.

You're supposed
to be in charge. We need positive leadership.

The capital's
ground to a halt.

All the more, we can only assume that
the Prime Minister's disappearance

is the direct result
of hostile alien action.

And what've you been doing?
Nothing!

Sorry! Sorry.

Uh, I thought
I was Prime Minister now.

Only by default!

Oh! That's not fair!

I've been having such fun.

You think this is fun?

It's a hoot, this job.

Honestly, it's super!

Oh! Excuse me!

om

What's going on here?

And where's the rest of the cabinet? Why
haven't they been airlifted in?

I canceled it.
They'd only get in the way.

Oops! There I go.

Oh!

I'm shaking my booty.

- Ooh!
- Sir!

Under section five
of the emergency protocols,

it is my duty
to relieve you of command.

And by God, I'll put
this country under martial law if I have to.

Oh! I'm scared!

I mean, that's hair-raising.

I mean, literally.

Look!

I just assumed
that's what aliens looked like.

But you're saying
it's an ordinary pig, from Earth.

More like a mermaid.

Victorian showmen
used to draw the crowds

by taking the skull of a cat,

gluing it to a fish
and calling it a mermaid.

Now someone's taken a pig,
opened up its brain, stuck bits on,

then they've
strapped it in that ship, made it dive-bomb.

It must've been terrified.

They've taken this animal
and turned it into a joke.

So it's a fake, a pretend,
like the mermaid.

But the technology
augmenting its brain,

it's like nothing on Earth.

It's alien.

Aliens are faking aliens.

Why would they do that?

Doctor?

Doctor?

Here's to the Martians!

The Martians!

I was gonna come and see you.

Someone owes Mickey
an apology.

- I'm sorry.
- Not you.

Well, it's not my fault.

Be fair,
what was I supposed to think?

You disappear,
who do they turn to? Your boyfriend.

Five times I was taken in
for questioning. Five times.

No evidence. Of course!
There couldn't be, could there?

And then I get her,
your mother,

whispering around the estate,
pointing her finger,

stuff through my letter box,
and all 'cause of you!

Didn't think
I'd be gone so long.

And I waited for you, Rose!

Twelve months. Waited for you
and the Doctor to come back!

Hold on!
You knew about the Doctor?

Why didn't you tell me?

Yeah, yeah.
Why not, Rose? Huh?

How could I tell her
where you went?

- Tell me now.
- I might as well, 'cause you're stuck here.

The Doctor's gone!

Just now, that box thing
just faded away.

- What do you mean?
- He's left you!

Some boyfriend
he turned out to be.

He wouldn't just go.
He promised me.

Oh, he's dumped you, Rose!
Sailed off into space.

How does it feel, huh?

Now, you are left behind with
the rest of us Earthlings.

- Get used to it.
- He would've said.

What are you two chimps
going on about?

What's going on?
What's this Doctor done now?

He's vamoosed.

He's not!
'Cause he gave me this.

He's not my boyfriend, Mickey.

He's better than that.
He's much more important.

And he...

What's that sound?

Mum? Mum, go inside!

Mum, don't stand there!
Just go inside, just... Mum! Oh, blimey.

Huh?

How'd you do that, then?

All right, so I lied.
I went and had a look.

But the whole crash landing's a fake.
I thought so. Just too perfect.

I mean, hitting Big Ben?
Come on.

So I thought, "Let's go
and have a look..."

My mum's here.

Oh, that's just what I need.
Don't you dare make this place domestic!

You ruined my life, Doctor.
They thought she was dead.

I was a murder suspect
because of you.

See what I mean? Domestic!

I bet you don't even
remember my name!

- Ricky.
- It's Mickey.

- No, it's Ricky.
- I think I know my own name.

You think you know
your own name? How stupid are you?

Mum, don't! Don't go anywhere!

Don't start a fight.

Mum! It's not like that,
he's not...

I'll... I'll be up
in a minute! Hold on!

That was a real spaceship?

- Yep!
- So it was all a pack of lies.

What is it, then,
that they're invading?

Funny way to invade,
putting the world on red alert.

Good point!
So, what're they up to?

As the crisis continues

and the government
shows a remarkable lack of leadership,

paranoia sweeps the country.

There've been at least three
reports of public assaults

on people possibly
identified as aliens.

Now back to Tom Hitchingson.

Are there
more ships to come?

And what is their intention?

The authorities
are now asking, if anyone knows anything,

if any previous sighting has been
made, then call this number.

We need your help.

Yes! I've seen one,
I really have, an alien. And she's with him.

My daughter, she's with him, and she's not
safe. Oh, my God, she's not safe.

I've seen an alien,
and I know his name. He's called the Doctor.

It's a box, a blue box.
She called it a Tardis.

So what you doing down there?

- Ricky.
- Mickey.

Ricky.

If I was to tell you
what I was doing to the controls

of my frankly magnificent
time ship,

would you even
begin to understand?

- I suppose not...
- Well, shut it, then.

- Some friend you've got.
- He's winding you up.

I am sorry.

- Okay.
- I am, though.

Every day, I looked.

On every street corner,
wherever I went,

looking for a blue box
for a whole year.

It's only been
a few days for me.

I don't know.
It's hard to tell inside this thing.

But I swear,
it's just a few days since I left you.

Not enough time
to miss me, then.

I did miss you.

I missed you.

So, um, in 12 months...

Have you been seeing
anyone else?

Nope.

Okay.

Mainly 'cause everyone
thinks I murdered you.

Right.

So, now that you've come back,

are you gonna stay?

Got it! Ha-ha!

Patched in the radar,
looped it back 12 hours,

so it'll follow
the flight of that spaceship. Here we go.

Hold on.

Come on!

That's the spaceship on its way to Earth.

See?

Except... Hold on.

See? The spaceship
did a slingshot

round the Earth
before it landed.

- What does that mean?
- Means it came from Earth in the first place.

It went up and came back down.

Whoever those aliens are, they haven't just
arrived. They've been here for a while.

Question is,
what've they been doing?

What do you think?
How's the compression?

I think I've got too much
ballast round the middle.

Ooh, that's better!

We've really got to fix
the gas exchange. It's getting ridiculous.

I don't know. Seems
very human to me.

Uh, better get rid
of his skin!

Shame,
I quite enjoyed being Oliver.

He had a wife,
a mistress and a young farmer.

God, I was busy.

Back to work!

I have an army to command!

Careful now.
We're not there yet.

General Asquith! Sir,
we've had a priority alarm.

It's Code Nine,
confirmed Code Nine.

Right. Good. Code Nine, huh?
Which would mean?

In the event
of the emergency protocols being activated,

we've got software
which automatically searches

all communications
for keywords.

And one of those words
is "Doctor".

I think we've found him, sir.

What sort of doctor?
Who is he?

Well, evidently, he's some sort of
expert in extraterrestrial affairs.

The ultimate expert!
And we need him, sir.

We need him here right now.

- How many channels you get?
- All the basic packages.

- You get sports channels?
- Yes, I get the football.

Hold on. I know that lot.

...but it's looking likely

that the government's
bringing in alien specialists,

those people who've
devoted their lives to studying outer space.

UNIT! United Nations
Intelligence Taskforce. Good people.

How do you know them?

'Cause he's worked for them.

Oh, yeah. Don't think
I sat on my backside for 12 months, Doctor.

I read up on you!

You look deep enough
on the Internet or in the history books,

and there's his name.

Followed by
a list of the dead.

That's nice. Good boy, Ricky.

If you know them,
why don't you go and help?

They wouldn't recognize me.
I've changed a lot since the old days.

Besides, the world's
on a knife edge.

There's aliens out there,

and fake aliens
wanna keep this alien out of the mix.

I'm going undercover.

And, uh, better keep
the Tardis out of sight. Ricky!

You've got a car.
You can do some driving.

Where to?

The roads are clearing.
Let's go and have a look at that spaceship.

Do not move!
Step away from the box!

- Raise your hands above your head!

Rose!

Rose! Rose!

Take me to your leader!

My daughter!

This is a bit posh.

If I knew it was gonna be like this, being
arrested, I would've done it years ago.

We're not being arrested,
we're being escorted.

- Where to?
- Where do you think?

Downing Street.

- You're kidding!
- I'm not!

-10 Downing Street?
- That's the one!

Oh, my God! I'm going
to 10 Downing Street?

- How come?
- I hate to say it, but Mickey was right.

Over the years, I've visited
this planet a lot of times, and I've been, uh,

noticed.

Now they need you.

Like it said on the news,
they're gathering experts in alien knowledge.

And who's
the biggest expert of the lot?

- Patrick Moore?
- Apart from him.

Oh, don't you just love it.

Oh, I'm telling you, Lloyd George, oh, he used
to drink me under the table.

Who's the Prime Minister now?

How should I know?
I missed a year.

Oh, my God!

So she's all right, then?
She's not in any trouble?

All I can say
is that your daughter and her companion

might be in a position
to help the country.

We'll need to know
how she made contact with this man,

if he is a man.

Ooh!

Right, off you go, then.

I need to talk with Mrs. Tyler
on my own, thank you.

Harriet Jones,
MP, Flydale North.

Ladies and gentlemen,
can we convene? Quick as we can, please.

It's this way on the right,
and can I remind you

ID cards
are to be worn at all times.

Here's your ID card.

I'm sorry. Your companion
doesn't have clearance.

I don't go anywhere
without her.

You're the Code Nine, not her.
I'm sorry, Doctor.

It's, uh, Doctor, isn't it?

- She'll have to stay outside.
- She's staying with me.

Look, even I don't have
clearance to go in there.

I can't let her in
and that's a fact.

That's all right. You go.

Excuse me. Are you the Doctor?

- Sure?
- Not now. We're busy. Can't you go home?

I just need a word,
in private!

You haven't got clearance.
Now leave it!

I'm gonna have to
leave you with security.

It's all right,
I'll look after her. Let me be of some use.

Walk with me.
Just keep walking.

That's right,
don't look round.

Harriet Jones.
MP, Flydale North.

This friend of yours,
he's an expert, is that right?

He knows about aliens?

Why do you wanna to know?

Ladies and gentlemen,
if I could have your attention, please.

As you can see
from the summaries in front of you,

the ship had
one porcine pilot.

Of course, the really interesting
bit happened three days ago, see?

Filed away
under any other business,

the North Sea satellite
detected a signal,

a little blip of radiation
at 100 fathoms.

Like there's
something down there.

You were just about
to investigate,

and next thing you know,
this happens.

Spaceships. Pigs.
Massive diversion. From what?

They turn the body
into a suit, a disguise for the thing inside!

It's all right, I believe you.

It's... It's alien.

They must have some serious
technology behind this.

If we could find it,

we could use it.

Ooh!

Oh, my God. Is that...

Harriet, for God's sake!
This has gone beyond a joke.

You cannot just wander...

Oh, my God.

That's the Prime Minister.

If aliens fake an alien crash
and an alien pilot, what do they get?

Us.

They get us.

It's not a diversion,
it's a trap.

Oh!

Has someone been naughty?

It was bigger on the inside.

I don't know. What do I know
about spaceships?

That's what worries me.
You see, this man is classified as trouble,

which means
that anyone associated with him is trouble.

And that's my job.

Eliminating trouble.

But that's not possible.
He left this afternoon.

The Prime Minister
left Downing Street. He was driven away!

And who told you that?

Hmm?

Me!

This is all about us.
Alien experts.

The only people
with the knowledge how to find them

gathered together in one room.

Excuse me. Do you mind not
farting while I'm saving the world?

Would you rather
silent but deadly?

Ah!

We are the Slitheen.

Thank you all
for wearing your ID cards.

They'll help
to identify the bodies.

Yesterday saw the start
of a brave new world.

Today might see it end.

Right! You want aliens, you've got
them. They're inside Downing Street.

Come on!

Planet Earth is at war.

Everybody run!

- Who exactly are the Slitheen?
- They're aliens.

I could save the world
but lose you.

(DOCTOR WHO THEME';