Doc Martin (2004–…): Season 9, Episode 2 - The Shock of the New - full transcript

Martin is forced to do some refresher courses, while Louisa begins a new career.

Oh, morning, Steph.

I just need a signature on this one.

- Oh.
- It looks quite official.

Hm.

These are for you.

This one looks important.

I just had to sign for it,

open it first, it could be
Doctor Hedden's recommendation.

- Yes, it is.
- Well?

- Oh, for...
- What?

They want me
to do three refresher courses,



Starting with phlebotomy,
it's ridiculous.

Oh, well, I suppose that's good,
to brush up on your skills.

I don't need to brush up
my skills, thank you.

Have you set a date yet?

I need to let the family know,
you must have some idea.

Are you going to help me or what?

I am helping you, weddings take
a lot of planning, boy.

Can't we just change the subject,
please, Dad?

Ah, good to see you two
working so hard.

- Miles, what are you doing here?
- I'm back, obviously.

So what happened to Spain?

Ah, you know,
it's time for a fresh start.

I would have let you know,

but it's all been
a bit of whirlwind.



- There is a woman involved then.
- Very sharp, Al.

Shirley, met her online.

She's got a farm
on the way to Truro.

I think she could be the one.

So what is it you're after then?

Oh, come on, now,
can't your favourite cousin

- stop by and say hello?
- Miles.

We've been making goats ice cream.

And I'm offering you
an exclusive deal.

Sorry, did you say goats?

Shirley's got
a bunch of goats on her farm

and I've been making
ice cream from their milk.

It's all the rage in London.

So... How many boxes
can I do you for?

I'll pass.

Bert, this could be big.

And if anyone can sell it, it's you.

You know, I've always
admired your... genius...

That was a bit too much, wasn't it?

Way too much,
what's this about then?

Well, sales could
always do with a boost

and seeing as your family and...

Well, I'd appreciate it.

Right, 50% discount, trial run
of 20 tubs, sale or return.

Oh, you're killing me,
but all right.

Miles!

Oh, Shirley, this is my cousin,
Bert, and his son, Al,

and they've agreed to sell our
ice cream in their pub.

Oh, Des, brilliant. Well done.

It was nothing, really.

It's another sale,
you stop being so modest.

Oh, yes,
I've always admired his genius.

Yeah, shouldn't
we be getting to your appointment?

Oh! Oh, lovely to meet you.

Well, I suppose
we ought to try this.

Yeah, I suppose so.

Oh, you first.

Hello there.

That you don't miss this.

Oh, I miss some of it.

- Oi!
- Not that.

- How's it going with the new head?
- Morna? She's here somewhere.

Over there.

She's from Delabole,
she's interesting,

got a lot of plans,
fresh broom and all that.

Of course, if I'd been head,
I'd have kept things as they were,

but what we want and what we get

aren't the same things now,
are they?

- Luke!
- Morning.

Morning.

High five.

Go on in, then.

- Go on, in you come.
- Bye, James.

Mel, I was thinking it might be
nice to arrange a play date,

for James and some of his friends.

His friends, right, yes.

So, is there anyone who
gets along with in particular or...?

- No, not really.
- So is it more of a group of friends?

More that he doesn't
get along with anyone.

He's probably going
through a socially-awkward phase.

I'm sure it's nothing
to worry about.

Come on, then.

Mind. Morwenna, we'll need to close
the surgery on Thursday afternoon.

- How come?
- I have to attend a course.

Oh, snap, I went to one last night.

My first first-aid
responder session.

I actually had a few questions
about CPR and when you started.

CPR is instigated when a victim
of collapse is neither breathing

Nor has a heartbeat.
First, finds the carotid pulse.

If you are unable to palpate
the carotid pulse,

Then find the apex beat
and instantly start cardiac massage.

Honour - Topp.

What's the topic?

Oppositional Defiant Disorder,

It's a childhood
behavioural problem.Uh-huh.

You know, Mel was saying

that James is struggling
a little to make friends.

Perhaps he's just been selective.

I am a bit concerned.

He doesn't have
Oppositional Defiant Disorder.

No, I'm not suggesting he does.

But I can't help feeling that
something's not quite right.

You know,
you're studying child development,

Perhaps you're starting to
see patterns where none exist.

- Are you saying I'm wrong?
- No.

No, I'm saying that's very common,

certainly amongst medical students

for them to start
diagnosing themselves

And all around them with every
illness and ailment under the sun.

A little learning can be...

Are you OK?

Can we keep that... dog out of here?

I was just about to
take him for a walk.

I could do with a break.

I have some medical supplies
at Mrs Tishell's,

could you pick them up, please?

- Yeah, no problem. Come on, Buddy.
- Thank you.

Louisa, James is going to be fine.

Yeah. Come on.

Missing the old place?

No, I'm just walking Buddy.

It must be tough,
not being a teacher any more

after all those years.

Well, you know, I've got new
things going on in my life,

- so it's actually quite exciting.
- Sure, sure.

It's just, if it ever they took my
uniform away,

I don't know what I do.
I'd be totally lost.

Huge identity crisis.

In fact you'd probably find me

hanging around
outside the police station.

Yeah, well, I'm not you, Joe.

No, you're just walking the dog.

I understand.

Bye.

- How long has it been like this?
- About a week.

- Do you work with animals?
- Goats.

We make ice cream from the milk.

They're amazing animals.

They are... They are far
smarter than people think.

This one goat, Phillip,
I swear he got it in for me.

He's just a little jealous, silly.

Do you wear gloves
when working with the goat's milk?

Er, no, I wash my hands
thoroughly before and after though.

You dry them properly?

If they're damp,
they can allow bacteria to breed.

This is a whitlow, it is
an infection of the nail fold,

caused by staphylococcus bacteria.

I write you a prescription
for a course of antibiotics,

But in the meantime, wear gloves to
protect your hand and keep it dry.

We'll pick up some
gloves on the way back, then.

Sit down, stop scratching.

You've got a rash.

Yeah, I know,
it's been there a few days.

Sycosis vulgaris,
it's an infection of the beard area.

Sorry, his... his beard is infected?

Is that even possible?

No, it's not the beard,
it's the skin underneath.

It's a deep infection
of the hair follicles,

Often by the Staphylococcus
aureus bacteria.

There's a chance that you've been
infecting one another

and the swab results will confirm.

Is there much physical
contact in your relationship?

- Oh, yes.
- He's worse than a goat, this one is.

Right, get some antiseptic
cream from the pharmacy

and shave your beard off.

If I shave my beard, though,

everyone will see the rash
all over my face.

It's not very nice.

You look run down, how's your diet?

How much sleep you getting?

I eat when I can,
sleep about five hours a night,

there's a lot of work
to do on the farm.

You should take more care
of yourself.

Come back in the morning
for the results of your swab test.

Uh-huh. Ah, well, that's very well.

Hello, excuse me! Hi!

Well, yes, of course, I just...
Erm...

Yes, sorry, I'm just gonna...

I'm gonna call you back,
just one sec. Yep.

- Sorry, can I help you?
- You're the new head, aren't you?

Lorna Argyll, yes. Sorry, you are?

Louisa Ellingham, your predecessor.

Oh, right! Hello!

I've... I've heard about you,
obviously, but...

I thought maybe
we could grab a coffee sometime,

do a proper handover?

Yes, yes, we should
definitely do that. Yeah, yeah.

That's a great idea.

Sorry, busy, busy.

Yep. Oh, God, no, that certainly
needs to change. Absolutely.

Oh, you're not... The thing is,

I need you to listen to
me about this.

So maybe sometime this week then?
Yeah? Maybe?

If you can't do it yourself,
then I will do it.

- Hello!
- Oh, Louisa.

Morning, Ruth.

Isn't it college day?

Yeah, how would you know that?

Well, you probably mentioned
it before.

Well, actually, we're doing it
over Skype today, so...

- I don't know what that is.
- Erm...

Well, it's sort of a phone call,
but on... on video.

Oh, oh, I see, right.

Oh, I thought you were doing
a proper college course.

I'd just like to pick up
Martin's medical supplies,

- please, Mrs Tishell.
- Any word yet?

Erm, a letter arrived today.

Erm, and they want Martin to do
some training courses.

I imagine that went down well.

Hello, Sally.

Oh, you're the large cousin,
been in Spain.

Very good, Miles Green.

See you still got the neck...

Yeah, you should see
the doc about that.

- Yeah, you should see the doc about that.
- How can I help you?

A prescription for me and antiseptic
cream for Miles, thank you.

Nothing like a warm welcome home.

Well, obviously,
he's not happy about it.

I don't blame him.

He's going to comply
though, isn't he?

Well, he says he is.

I'm sure everything will be fine.

Yes, it's just training courses.

Just needs to grit his teeth
and get on with it.

Yeah, no problem.

- Maybe I should have a word with him.
- Just in case.

Good idea.

You had an appointment two days ago,
why didn't you come?

It's been a busy time.

The school want me to
have a pre-employment medical.

- It's just a formality, really.
- Mm, I know.

Well, your blood pressure's fine.

Great, you can sign off
on the insurance certificate, then.

Your pulse rate's high, 170.

Oh, sorry, what are you doing?

I'm checking your thyroid to see
why your pulse rate's so high.

I'll need to do a blood test.

Well, that's not part
of the medical. Yes, it is.

I think there's been some
sort of misunderstanding.

I don't want an actual full-blown
check-up, just check the eyes,

the ears, pat on the head
and off you go.

I need to rule out
any thyroid concerns.

- Come back tomorrow for your
blood results. - I'm very busy.

Nevertheless, I won't sign off
on your insurance certificate

Unless you come back
for your blood results tomorrow.

The reported figures
for Oppositional Defiant Disorder

are between 1 and 16% of children
in the general population.

Sorry, when you stand on the whole
nature versus nurture debate?

Er, that's a fairly broad topic.

OK, well, erm, say there's
a child and one of his, or her,

parents is, erm, outgoing
and empathetic and things.

And the other has...

less clearly-defined social skills.

If that child takes after
one parent,

so the less socially-skilled one,
do you think that's a genetic code

that's hard-wired into him, or her,

or could the right
behavioural adjustments

create a more compassionate child...

- Sorry, subject?
- Uh, that's quite a question.

So, if you, say, forced the child
to have some play dates

with other children, it might just
teach him how to socialise better?

Sorry, Louisa, is this in reference
to Oppositional Defiant Disorder?

Yeah. Mm-hm.

It's an interesting angle.

I suppose, yes.

The question is whether it would
have a positive or negative effect.

So you're saying
that could make him worse?

Yes, look, why don't we come
back to this in Truro next week

and we could focus
back on the topic in hand.

Yeah, yeah, of course, it can wait.
It's just a query. That's all.

So, ODD...

Hello, Martin,
have you got a moment?

Is anything wrong?

It's a social visit.

Oh, I see. Right, hello.

Also, I heard that you
got your instructions from the GMC.

Oh, I see,
so you're checking up on me.

More or less.

What are they asking you to do?

Oh, they want me
to attend three courses.

I have to assist
at a surgical procedure,

run a mock surgery

And attend a phlebotomy course
that's on Thursday at Truro.

- And attend a phlebotomy course that's on Thursday at Truro.
- You are going to attend, aren't you?

Well, they haven't given me
much choice.

You'll be drawing blood in front
of a room full of people.

Have you thought about

how you're going to deal
with your haemophobia?

Yes, of course I have.

There are desensitisation exercises,
you know?

I'd be happy to run
through them with you.

Why are you washing your hands
again?

- Why are you washing your hands again?
- Er... Erm... I'm not.

Anyway, thank you for your
concern, it's really not necessary.

If you'll forgive me,
I have patience to see.

Morwenna!

I'll have the steak and kidney pie.

There's a special on desserts.

I wouldn't say no,
what have you got?

- Goat ice cream, it's very popular.
- No.

Oi, nobody wants it.

As soon as you put the word goat
with ice cream, it's a no sale.

I told you not to go into business
with Miles.

He was always meant to be the
most successful one in the family.

Yeah, now his successes
are taking up room

in our freezer
that we can't afford.

Don't worry, your barmaid's arrived.

Hey, I put up a new
ad today for the job.

Fingers crossed someone bites.

Right, so if we're not doing May,
when are you thinking then?

- For what?
- The wedding.

Oh, erm, I don't know,
I haven't really thought about it.

Of course not.

But, well,
maybe I could help you

with that CPR thing,
you know, training?

I could test you, or whatever.

It's quite a commitment,
are you sure you'll have the time?

- Oh, come on, Morwenna.
- Shall we have that discussion?

- What discussion, Joe?
- About the best man position?

Officially confirming me
in the role.

Well, I hadn't really
thought about it, mate.

Oh, that's a surprise.

Al, this isn't like the proposal,
you gotta think about these things.

What you mean by that?

No, it's just...

Al's proposal was...

Al's proposal was what?

Well, it's nothing.

It didn't sound like nothing.

It's just...
It's just Joe being Joe.

- It's just... It's just Joe being Joe.
- That's right, it's just me being me.

That's right, it's just me being me.

- Yeah.
- Good old Joe being...

Joe.

You did mean it, right?
The proposal.

Morwenna, why would you say that?

Well, it's just...

It seemed to come as a bit of
a surprise to you, as well, and...

If you've made a mistake,
now is the time to back out.

Before it all goes too far.

No, no, of course I meant it. OK?

Maybe we could organise a play date.

How about with Colin Towns?

- You like him, don't you?
- No, thank you.

Yes, you do.

What about with Miles?

No, thank you.

Tell you what, why don't you
pick someone and tell me

who you'd like to
have a play date with?

No, thank you.

OK.

It's school time,
you should be going on now.

Come on, here we go.

Bye-bye!

Bye!

- Morning!
- Morning.

- You missing us yet?
- Well, of course.

But not on sailing days,
I don't miss that.

- Oh, that all stopped.
- Really? Why's that?

- Well, Lorna got rid of it.
- She can't just get rid of it.

It's a key part of their week.

No-one hated it more than me,
but I still had to do it.

She's changed your office
and schedules.

- She's done her own timetables.
- What?

- Well, can I see the new one?
- Oh, no, that's classified.

We're not allowed
to share it with parents.

Pippa!

- Pippa, you got a minute?
- Coming! Out of my hands.

Well, you'll be pleased to learn
that we can rule out thyrotoxicosis.

Thyrotoxicosis is...?

An excess of the thyroid hormone.

You were displaying symptoms of
someone with an over active thyroid.

- But the test is negative.
- Well, that's good then.

Well, as far as thyrotoxicosis goes.

But your pulse rate is still high.

- Have you lost any weight recently?
- A little, yes.

I've been in training
for a half marathon.

I'd like to run an ECG.

An ECG? I just need you to sign
off on the insurance certificate.

Yes, I'm aware of that, but you
have an abnormally high heart rate,

And I need to take that seriously
because I'm a doctor.

- What you mean seriously?
- What you mean, "What do you mean?"

You are a seemingly fit,
healthy young woman

with an abnormally high heart rate.

An ECG may well indicate
what's causing that,

Until I've investigated it,
I won't sign off on anything.

No, I need to get
back to meetings today.

Right, make another appointment.

Next patient!

I need an appointment
for tomorrow afternoon.

Oh, we're closed
tomorrow afternoon.

I can give you Friday at nine?

If that's the best you can do, yes.

Oh, hello again.

Louisa.

- Ellingham.
- Oh, of course, yes.

- Good to see you again.
- Um, sorry,

It's just I hear you've been making
lots of changes at the school.

And I'd love to be able to schedule
that handover meeting we discussed.

Yes.
Yes, we should definitely do that.

Sorry, I've got to dash
back to work.

- You know how it is.
- Mm-hm.

Miles, this ice cream
might be all the rage in London,

but my customers
just aren't going for it.

It's only been a day.

It's already running joke
in the pub,

they're calling the place
The Goat And Lobster.

I'm sorry, Miles,
but small villages, small palates.

Here, was this on your face?

Oh, cream. I got a rash.

- Nasty.
- It'll be fine.

This is what you swapped Spain for?

Oh, it's better than it looks.

So what actually
happened over there?

I heard you were
setting up a gardening business.

Yeah, didn't quite work out.

Tried a lot of things out there,
but just couldn't get a break.

- Oh, I know the feeling with that one.
- Mm.

Thought my luck
was never gonna change.

- Thought my luck - was never gonna change.
- It was when I met Shirley and, erm...

It was when I met Shirley
and, erm...

Well, maybe I exaggerated
how successful I was in business.

- Ah, come on, I'd better get
this back in the freezers. - OK.

No, Phillip, you're already fed.
No, back off.

It's her prize goat,
swear he's got it in for me.

No, Phillip. Go!

Phillip! Phillip!

- He's jealous of our happiness!
Aren't you, bad goat? - Here!

Here, Miles, are you all right?

No, I'm not.

- No, I'm not.
- I'm out of shape, face like a pizza.

I'm out of shape, face like a pizza.

I love Shirley,
I don't want to lose her.

Let's get you inside, come on.

Mil... Miles, are you OK?

It's that bloody goat again.

He's just jealous.

He knows what we get up to.

We are very compatible, physically.

I didn't really need to know that.

Oh, er...

You're returning the ice cream?

It wasn't for us.

I'm sorry, but I'm sure there'll be
lots of people that like it.

No, they already do.

Go on, tell him, Miles.

Miles.

Well, I've rung round a few people
and we definitely got some orders.

I just didn't want your expectations
to get too high.

- So how many orders have we got?
- Don't worry about it.

- Well, I am a little worried now.
- It's an acquired taste.

You said you contacted people.

I did, they just didn't want it.

So how many orders have we got?

Well...

none.

But don't worry,
I'll turn this around.

When were you planning on
telling me this?

- I was protecting you!
- No, you do not put that on me.

You were protecting yourself.

You lied to me, how could you?

I'm sure she didn't mean it, Miles,
you got to take it easy.

You're no help, Bert.

One bloody case, that's all I asked.

Go on.

Where is James?

Up in his room, playing on his own.

He's actually on one side

and all his teddy bears
are on the other.

There was an article in here
I think you might find interesting.

- Child Psychology Now.
- Yes, it's a well-known journal.

Hm, I've never heard of it.

- They've spelt projectile wrong.
- Yes, it's a misprint.

Maybe you could just focus on
the content, rather than the form.

It's about only-child syndrome.

Well, it's opinion. It's not
an actual clinical diagnosis.

Well, it states
that in the majority of cases,

those with brothers or sisters

assimilate better with their peers,
than those without.

From a very small study group,
it's not conclusive.

You know,
I see James in the playground.

And all the other children
they're playing together

and James is always on the outside,
he's always isolated.

And, yes, he might be a little shy,
but... this does seem to fit.

You were an only child.

Well, yeah.

Does this diagnosis fit
with how you see your childhood?

No.

Didn't you used to feel
a little bit lonely as a child?

- I know I did.
- No.

I used to have imaginary friends,
Big Sue and Sarah.

- Really?
- Mm.

- Didn't you have any?
- No.

I should check on James.

Morning.

You OK?

You been really quiet
since yesterday.

- Have I?
- Yeah.

Why don't we have a nice dinner
tonight or something? I'll cook.

And we can talk about the wedding
and I could help you with this,

you know, CPR training.

You don't have to,
not if you don't want to.

- No, I do.
- Besides, I know how this goes,

We make plans and then you say
how you're busy with work.

Well, I won't be.

- Have you found new staff?
- Not yet.

So how are you going to take
the evening off?

- I'll find someone.
- By tonight?

Morwenna, I will.

All right.

See you later.

Has your friend
shaved his beard off?

No, of course not.

No, that would mean doing
something the smart way.

No. Instead, he's just put cream
all over it.

The cream won't be effective
unless he shaves.

I got your test results back
and as I suspected,

You both have a staphylococcal
infection.

You are infecting him every time
you touch him with your finger

And he in turn is re-infecting you
with his beard.

So, what? We both have that
staphylococcal bacteria thing,

but only he's got the...

Sycosis vulgaris, yes.

You are constantly reinfecting
one another

With a bacterial infection
and that has got to stop.

- Yeah, well, that won't be a problem.
- Good.

Leave the dressing off,
let the air get to it,

wear gloves for protection.
Finish the course of antibiotics

and tell, erm, what's-his-name
to come in to the surgery

And pick up a prescription.

Next patient!

- Morning.
- What?

You're bright and cheery.

Erm, Dad,
can you look after the pub tonight?

Not on my own, no.

Oh, please,
I need to fix things with Morwenna.

- Why, what have you done now?
- Well, it's complicated.

I hear there's a position available.

- What, you want to work here?
- I do, yes.

I'm at a little bit
of a loose end in the evenings.

Maybe you should join
a club or society.

I've been hearing
the book club's very popular.

Oh, for my sins, I find work
is the best kind of relaxation.

Here is my CV,
with numerous references.

A lot of them
are from napkin companies,

due to me having stakes
in the serviette industry.

Oh.

Well, I'll need to think about it.

I've thought about it, you're hired.
Can you start tonight?

Of course.
Oh, won't this be great, Bert?

The two of us, working together,
side-by-side again!

Super!

That was your last patient,
you're all good to go to Truro.

Oh, before you go,

am I meant to practice CPR
on a dummy or a real person?

Either will do, it doesn't matter.

Portwenn Surgery.

Er, yeah, OK. Slow down.

Doc, it's Mrs Knott,
it sounds urgent.

Yes?

Doc? Doc, I just come home and
I found Miles, he's just lying here.

He's struggling for breath,
I can't even get him to stand up.

Any other symptoms?

Yeah, he said he had
a tingling in his legs,

I think he's getting worse.

What's their address?

Pendennick Farm,
it's on your way to the hospital.

Fine, I'll be about 20 minutes.

- What's her name?
- Shirley.

- Good luck with the course.
- Yes.

OK, yeah, he's on his way.

- Where is he?
- He's this way. Quick now.

Oh, no, God, no. Careful.

That's Phillip,
he's a bit territorial.

Well, keep it away from me.

Go on, off with you, go on.

Hello.

Mr... Er...

His pulse is racing.

You said he was complaining
of a tingling sensation in his legs.

Pins and needles, yeah.

What is wrong with him?

The swab test confirmed
the sycosis vulgaris,

but I'm worried,
with the pins and needles,

and the tightness of breath,

That it's progressed to
Guillain-Barre polyneuropathy.

- Guillain...?
- Barre. It's very rare,

very serious nerve condition.

Of course, he wouldn't be
in this position

- If he'd taken my advice and
shaved his beard. - Oh, God.

Well, there isn't time
to get an ambulance.

I'll drive him to the hospital.
Help me get up.

Is this all my fault?

Well, no, the follicle infection
acted as a trigger.

It depends on
an individual's metabolism.

Normally, the immune system attacks
any germs that get into the body.

But with people with Guillain-Barre,

It mistakenly attacks
and damages nerves.

I don't... I don't really
understand any of that.

It doesn't matter, lie him flat.

- Right, lay flat.
- OK.

You ride in the back here with him,

- keep him still and hold
that on his face. - OK.

You pull the strap over his head.

Put... Put the strap
around his head,

keep his airway unblocked.

Oh!

Patient needs ventilating.

Right, have you got him?

I'm here, Miles,
I'm not going anywhere.

- Sorry.
- What?

- I'm sorry.
- It doesn't matter about that now.

- Oh, God!
- Stop talking.

So the course will take
approximately three hours

and will cover all aspects of the...

Doctor Ellingham.

Obviously, not a believer
in punctuality.

- I have an emergency with a patient.
- Take a seat.

Right, we can begin.

Now, while you are very
well-qualified people,

you have nevertheless all been
selected for varying reasons

to go through this refresher course.

So however irritating or basic
you might find this,

I would like you to pay close
attention to what we're doing.

Any questions?

In that case, let's crack on.

Now, what do we mean by phlebotomy?

The drawing of blood by means
of a venepuncture.

Very good. Doctor Ellingham,
why don't you go first?

What are you doing?

Going to prepare
the needle and the syringe.

No, no, you're not the doctor,
you're the patient,

It's a role-play.

Is that really necessary?

It is important to understand
both sides of the coin.

Doctor Khan,
you seem to know what you're doing,

why don't you come up here

and work through the process of
taking Doctor Ellingham's blood?

Sit down.

Hi!

Hi, Louisa.

See if you can get rid
of those windows.

Can you knock them out, actually?
Repainting.

Go ahead.

Right, can you make
sure your sleeve is up...?

- Yes.
- You've forgotten the details.

- Sorry?
- Doctor Martin Ellingham,

22 Manor Road, Portwenn,
Cornwall, PL27 3GG.

Wait, you're
THE Doctor Martin Ellingham?

- From Imperial? The surgeon, right?
- Yes.

You're a legend!

I'm down from there on placement,
I can't wait to tell them.

- How come you're doing a
phlebotomy course? - Doctor Khan.

Yes. Erm...

Now, OK. Woo!

I'm going to place
this tourniquet on you.

The sleeve isn't above the elbow.

I got it.

Excellent.

I'm going to place this tourniquet
on you and see if I can find a vein.

I have had a few issues with that,
hence why I'm here.

Once I have located a suitable vein,

I will insert the needle
and take the blood.

Hopefully!

OK, stop, before you do any of this,
you have to calm the patient.

- I'm fine.
- He's fine.

- Calm the patient!
- Do you feel calm?

- Yes, of course I do.
- Right.

Erm... Excellent.

I think we need to
talk it through, Pippa.

Is there such a thing
as too much focus on pastoral?

I'll make us a cup of tea.

This is a small village school,

children don't have
the same behavioural problems

as they do in this city.

Why is there water all over my desk?

Mrs Ellingham always believed
that schooling should be rounded

Instead of aimed
entirely at SATS results.

Well, isn't that exactly
why the school isn't performing

as well as it should be?

Where is my timetable?
I left it right here.

Never mind, I've got some
spares in the cupboard.

- Louisa?
- It's not what it looks like.

Right, let's see.

The vein, now, where are you?

Where are you?

Two millimetres down.

Here we go.

- One moment.
- Doctor Ellingham!

Louisa?

Are you sure?

- Right, I'm on my way.
- On your way?

I have an emergency.

You're in the middle of a course.

- I'm a doctor.
- Doctor Ellingham!

Legend!

- Martin's on his way.
- Why were you hiding in her office?

Hm? What? I wasn't, I was...
Well, I...

I came to say hello,
nobody was here, so...

Pippa, do we really
have to talk about this right now?

Could you move your knee? OK.

Should you be doing that?
You already made her faint once.

Hello.

I'm here.

What are you doing?

- I'm trying to help.
- It's... Er...

Her heart's beating,
she's breathing,

- It's a cardiac event,
not a cardiac arrest. - Oh.

- Get some cold water.
- Right.

Oh!

Oh!

- What are you doing?
- Wasn't that what you wanted?

- What are you doing?
- Wasn't that what you wanted? - No!

I need to stimulate the vagus nerve.

And try and get her heart beat
back to normal.

Her pulse is raging.

She may have had a supraventricular
tachycardia episode.

So does that mean
she's got a heart condition?

Yeah, her heart starts to race
and then, very abruptly,

Slows down, or stops.

She was too busy and too annoying
to let me give her an ECG.

Hello, you've had
a super electrical attack.

- Can you hear me, Linda?
- Lorna.

Yes.

You were hiding in my cupboard.

No, no,
I just popped by to say hello.

Oh, oh, Doctor,
I wanted to say to you...

Stop talking
and put the mask back on.

Make sure she keeps it
on in the ambulance.

Is she going to be OK?

Yes, she should be,
they'll monitor her for 24 hours

and she'll be off work
for a few weeks.

- Were you really in her cupboard?
- Yes.

I just wanted to see
the school was in good hands.

By going in a cupboard?

- This is all my fault, isn't it?
- This?

No, this would have
happened sooner or later.

It's better that it happened sooner,
when there were people around.

But I still don't understand why
you were in a cupboard.

Well, I was just in her office
and then I had her coming...

It just seemed like the best
course of action at the time.

- Oh, I see.
- James!

- James.
- James, hello.

How's your day been?

Here,
so how are we going to do this?

Before we start,
you need to answer a question

and you need to be honest.

- And you need to be honest.
- OK.

OK.

- Did you mean to propose to me?
- Oh, Morwenna.

Yes, or no?

Er...

Erm...

- No.
- Oh.

But I'm glad I did.

It's the best thing I've ever done.

But you didn't mean to do it?

No.

I've... I've wanted to for ages,
but...

Then why are you acting
like you don't want any part of it?

I'm not, Morwenna, am...? Am I?

It's just that, erm...

You know, anything that's ever meant
something to me, you know, I've...

I've ruined it.

You know, once,
I went abroad to find my fortune

and I ended up working
in a bottle factory.

I ran a B&B right into the ground.

And then there's you.

And, you know, you're...

- You're super.
- I'm super.

I'm terrible at this, aren't I?

I just said it and it came out
and you said, "Yes."

And it was brilliant.

But then I was like, "OK,
so when am I going to mess this up?"

No, Al...

A May wedding would be lovely.

You know, we get the sunshine.

I love you, you know that?

All right, you can be quiet
and pretend to die now.

OK, so... so we're good?

Well, you're dying and I am gonna
to save you, so what do you think?

I don't... I don't know.

Right, OK,
so, interlock fingers, knuckles up.

Erm, push down
five or six centimetres.

- Right, one...
- Oh, God!

- ...two...
- Morwenna, that's quite hard!

- Three! Can you be quiet, please?
I'm trying to concentrate. - Sorry.

Keep a steady rhythm.

- One, two...
- Oh!

- Oh, God, Al.
- Ow! Ow!

Al? You all right?

You could have cracked a rib.
There's nothing I can do for you.

If the pain gets unbearable,

Take 400 mg of your favourite
anti-inflammatory twice a day.

I was just doing what it
said in the book.

No, it's probably my fault,
weak ribs.

No, I screwed up.

You have to look
at the collapsed person

and assess
the correct weight to use.

That, and work remember
the rhythm of that song.

- That, and work remember the rhythm of that song.
- What song?

Staying Alive by the Bee Gees.
I didn't know you were a fan, doc.

- I'm not.
- Should I sing it out loud?

No, thank you, not now.

Well, I suppose
we got our wedding song then.

- Oh!
- Sorry.

What song?

How's Al?

Cracked rib.

Oh, I didn't get to ask before,
how did the phlebotomy course go?

Erm, I don't know,
I didn't really finish it.

Why not?

Because you were
hiding in a cupboard.

Oh, sorry about that.

That's all right,
I wasn't really enjoying it.

You know, I've been thinking
about what we discussed,

about now being the best time
to... have a baby.

Well, if we wanted one.

Is this because of
only-child syndrome?

Well, I thought it was,
but the more I thought about it,

I realised,
I just think it's a good idea.

For us and for James.

Excuse me.

So I just wanted to say thank you.

You were right about Miles.

You know, he had that, erm,
Guillain-Barre poly thing.

And they said that if it hadn't been
for you, then he'd have been goner.

- Good.
- Erm, I have some ice cream.

My way of saying thank you.

It's really not necessary,
thank you, good night.

Yes.

Yes?

Another child.

Yes, as in we should
discuss it more, or...?

No, yes as in yes.

May I interest you in signing
Doctor Ellingham's birthday card?

Most of these say,
"Happy birthday, tosser."

- If left untreated, it can be fatal.
- I need to sit down.

You are sitting down.

What's in your pocket?

He's a finch.

- Planning an early night then?
- No, you're not ovulating.