Doc Martin (2004–…): Season 7, Episode 1 - Rescue Me - full transcript

Package for Louisa. School
books or something.

Just need for you to sign for it.

Or would it be better
to forward it to her?

The postal service is sensitive
to all domestic situations.

- No, that won't be
necessary. - Oh, right.

Is... is she back already, then?

Where's the wife, doc?

My mum's single, but she's picky.

Tosser!

Morning, doc. Any news from sunny Spain?

I'm sure she'll be back soon.



How about a pie and a pint later?
Set the world to rights...

Whoa!

You idiot!

For goodness' sake! Back. Back.

Ruth? Ruth!

- Morning. - Well, I sincerely
hope someone has died.

I wasn't aware you were asleep.

Well, you made sure that's
no longer the case.

Oh, come on in, then.

I just got back late from London last
night. I was hoping for a lie in.

- I need a therapist. - And I need
seven or eight hours' sleep a night.

I promised Louisa I'd get help, but I
can't find anybody. I left you messages.

Which, obviously, I didn't
get, because I was in London.

Anyway, I hardly see
there's any urgency...



Oh... you want ME to do therapy with you?

Yes.

Oh, sorry. No. I'm a
psychiatrist, not a therapist.

Besides, we're family. It'd
be thoroughly unprofessional.

Yes, I'm aware of that, but
I'm prepared to overlook it.

I'd be compromised. I have personal opinions
about the state of your marriage

which would affect my
professional judgement.

What personal opinions?

You see? It's already causing problems.

How long till she gets back?
Have you spoken to her?

Er... yes. I spoke to
her when she arrived.

She's staying with her mother in a remote
village and communication is difficult.

It sounds as if you're saying that you've only
spoken to your wife once in three weeks.

Well, she said she'd call
me when she was settled.

- And she hasn't?
- No.

Well, you need to call her, then.

At least then you'll know when or
if she's planning on coming back.

- Well, she said she was coming back.
- She said she'd phone.

Look, with regards to therapy...

I have an idea of someone who
might be able to fit the bill.

Just let me make some calls. Come on.

You look nice today, doc. Cake?

- What do you want?
- Nothing.

Just being polite. Social
interaction. Perfectly normal.

Although, since you mention it,

Portwenn lifeboat station's
having a special day tomorrow.

They're doing a mock rescue. Me and
my flatmate Janice are taking part.

- You're going to be manning
a lifeboat, are you? - What?

No! I'm going to be a victim.

Waiting to be rescued.

Starts at half-three, so I
will need the afternoon off.

No.

- It's my civic duty.
- No, it isn't.

It's a proper honour to be asked, doc.

Like... like getting an MBE or something.

- And why would you receive an MBE?
- I dunno, do I? It's a metaphor.

It's a simile, and the answer is still no.

Oh, sorry, love. Bed and
breakfast's not open yet.

- Obviously not.
- Where's Steve? Huh?

Oh, he said he'd be delayed a bit.
He had some business to attend to.

THIS is his business. At least
you're on time, for once.

Oh, Ruth. Hi. How are you doing?

I didn't know you were going to drop by.

I told her you're not open yet.

But we are very, very close.
I'm thinking a day. Two at most.

You said everything would be ready
by the time I got back from London.

You were '120 per cent sure', despite
that being a mathematical impossibility.

We're meant to be opening
at the end of the week.

You did say you were going
to be a silent partner.

Silent. Not dumb.

Who's Steve?

Oh, Steve's my boss.
Moon Ray Construction.

Obviously, we're called Moon
Ray, cos it's Steve, yeah?

- No. - Oh, you must
have heard about it --

Actually, that wasn't an invitation
to continue the conversation.

- Have you come up with a name
for this venture yet? - Oh...

Salmon Enchanted Place. It's a pun.

Portwenn Fishing Holidays.

A name that needs no explanation
or tortuous wordplay.

Oh, by the way, I found a few boxes
of Joan's stuff in her room.

I wasn't sure what you
wanted me to do with them.

I'll have a rummage.
Couple of days? Really?

Salmon Enchanted Place. Just got
that. That's brilliant, mate.

Cos they're fish, right?

Er...

Oh, no.

All right.

So, doc, the lifeboat bosses want
me to have my medical certificate

before they'll let me back on the boats.

Paperwork. You know? Ridiculous.

Step on the scales, please.

It's this new guy --
Gerry. Station manager.

Feel a bit sorry for him. I think
he's a bit intimidated by me.

You know -- the Moon Ray and all that.

- You've put on weight.
- That's muscle, doc.

Important I stay fit. Show those
young lads at the station

there's life left in this war horse yet.

- That's us done, then? - No, of course
it isn't. Sit here. Give me your arm.

The last time I needed one of these,
Dr Sim just signed the form and
sent me off. No mucking around.

Really? Well, unlike Dr Sim, I am
a big believer in 'mucking around'.

Or 'observing correct medical
procedure', as we sometimes call it.

Your notes say you are prescribed bendroflumethiazide
for high blood pressure. Still taking it?

Yeah. Of course.

Then your pressure shouldn't be so
raised. I'll need a urine sample.

Why? What for?

It's routine -- it checks for the
presence of blood, protein, sugar,

indicating kidney disease or diabetes.

Might have a bit of a wait there. The well
is empty, so to speak. Went before I came.

Well, bring one in when the well
isn't so empty, so to speak.

Tomorrow's kind of a special
day, so I really need it ASAP.

Then I need a urine sample.

Doc, I get it. You're having
a bit of a bad time.

I mean, it's common knowledge
that your wife left you.

I'm just saying: I've been there, too.

Ten years ago, my missus walks
out on me for a younger fella.

I was angry, bitter, like you.

One morning, I looked in the
mirror and said to myself...

Shut up.

You won't get a medical certificate
without a urine sample. Next patient!

So, you don't know if he's moving back in?

I haven't had a chance
to talk to him, have I?

What with Jennifer being
away doing some course,

I've been running this
place on my lonesome.

All right. I didn't ask
for your life story.

Sorry. I just feel like I'm in limbo.

I asked Al if he's going to move back in when
the farm's complete, and he's all... 'Maybe.'

I mean, what does that actually mean, eh?

It probably means he's aware
of how over-dramatic you get

and he's trying to break it to you gently.

I'm not over-dramatic. If
anything, I'm under-dramatic.

He always used to do the washing-up.

Have either of you seen Steve Baker?

He's not answering his
phone, he's not at home

and he's not showed up
on site at all today.

He'll be where he always is
-- at the lifeboat station.

I warned you about hiring him.

Well, he promised me
he'd get more staff on.

I could use an extra pair of hands.

Oh, no, no, no.

These past few weeks it's been,
'I can do it myself, Dad.

Don't need your help, Dad.
You'll only muck it up, Dad.'

You made your bed, my
boy -- you lie in it.

What about you, Joe? Are
you free tomorrow at all?

Maybe.

I've been telling you
to get one for weeks.

Everyone needs a medical
certificate to comply with regs.

- Gerry, what's happening tomorrow?
- You know -- a training exercise.

No. There's a training exercise
being covered by the local news.

Cameras, catching every
moment. And why's that?

Because it's five years since...
since the Moon Ray rescue.

Exactly.

Didn't your mum have a
thing with Steve Baker?

No. I don't think so.

I need to be the face out on the
water, so everyone can see me.

- It's not all about you.
- We should go in.

No. There's nothing worse than
walking in on a domestic.

It's co-workers. They're not married.

Hi. How's it going?

It's not. Is Steve in there?

- Having a domestic.
- Are you all right?

Yeah (!) Amazing. Got guests arriving at
the end of the week, and nothing is ready.

Are you free to help tomorrow?

Oh, I've kind of agreed to be
part of this mock-rescue thing.

We're gonna be on the telly!

Right, well... great.

So, you're seriously saying

you're going to stop the one man responsible
for that rescue from taking part,

because of some stupid
certificate? Really?

Pretty much, yeah.

Well, the doc said I could pick it
up tomorrow, so fuss about nothing.

Hey, you know, it isn't
a fuss about nothing.

It's the state of my farmhouse.

You said that this lifeboat stuff
wouldn't interfere with the job.

Sorry, Al. Been tangled up in red tape.

Just get me the certificate by
morning, and everyone's happy.

- It's five o'clock, mate. - Yeah, I
had a job in Delabole I had to check on.

Don't worry. You're my priority.

Here we go. Our waiver forms.

- See? They can do it.
- All present and correct.

2:30 tomorrow -- OK?

Ah. Now, I don't suppose there's a chance

we could shift the whole
thing to, say, half past 12?

It's just, that's my lunch break.

No, of course not.

Right. Worth a try.

'You've reached Louisa.
Please leave a message.'

Erm... Louisa...

I was just wondering if you'd
had any... further thoughts

about when you might be returning...

.. to Portwenn.

Erm... I hope you and James are well.

Erm... this is Martin Ellingham.

Obviously.

- Louisa?
- 'No, it's me.'

- Oh, yes. - 'Can you
come over to the farm?

I've got something to show you.'

I'll... I'll be right there. Goodbye.

How many men my age can run five
K without breaking a sweat, eh?

You're sweating everywhere.

Figure of speech, mate.

And you should take a leaf out of
my book. You've been late every day.

It's bad for my company's image.

- Where's Dr Ellingham?
- I thought YOU were Dr Ellingham.

Listen, doc. I didn't have time
to drop in that urine sample.

I don't suppose we can just go ahead without
it, seeing as time's of the essence?

No, of course we can't...

- Oh, God, I'm sorry.
- Oh, you idiot!

- What's going on in here?
- Look what this man's just done.

Look at this mess. What
is wrong with you lot?

- What's the matter with
your arm? - Nothing.

- So, you dropped that deliberately?
- No, it was an accident.

Oh, doc, seeing as you're here,
I'm having these niggles...

- Make an appointment.
- It's just there.

No, get off. Thank you. Get off.

People say, 'You haven't changed a bit,'

but in your case, it's literally
true. I mean, just look at that tie.

Lots of children wore ties in those days.

On special occasions, yes.
This is on the beach.

Nonsense. I'll put all these in the skip.

A mediocre therapist might
have something to say

about your inability
to face up to the past.

Luckily, I have found you someone
who is far from mediocre.

Dr Rachel Timoney.

She wrote some fascinating papers
on Psychotherapeutic Theory.

Been down here a few
months, writing a book,

seeing some private patients on the side.

- Where did she work before?
- London. Bart's.

And she doesn't suffer fools gladly,
so you two ought to get on.

She's got a cancellation at 11
tomorrow morning, so if you...

- What do you want?
- Cleaned up nicely, doc.

Barely notice anything had happened.

I've got something for you.

Erm...

- I'll pop in tomorrow and we can
discuss that certificate. - Yes.

Make sure it's before 10:30.

Good for you.

I still haven't spoken to Louisa. I don't
know when she's coming back or...

Or if she's coming home at all?

Yes. Erm...

Oh, Martin...

Ow!

- Hello?
- 'Martin?'

- Yes. I'm here. Hello.
- 'Martin?'

- Louisa?
- 'Hello?'

Hello? Hello? Louisa?

Louisa?

- I told you to get a new tub.
- Huh? No, you didn't.

It's empty, mate. It's
empty. Like your head.

I'll do a run into town to get some.

- It's OK. I'll go. - I told
you -- I'm on this. Don't worry.

You've already got the afternoon
off. If you disappear away now...

Trust me.

You know the last time I said that?

When the crew of the Moon Ray
were stranded out in that storm,

and the suits were telling me it was
too dangerous to take out the lifeboat.

I just looked at them and I said...

'Trust me.' Yeah. I've heard
the story before, mate.

Everybody's heard it.
It was five years ago.

I'm more concerned about
right here and right now.

I don't let people down, Al.

You have my word.

Trust me.

- Morwenna, I need --
- What happened to your face?

- Nothing. I need you to --
- Have you been drinking?

Of course not. Will you listen to me?

Get Mr Baker's urine test from the fridge

and check it for protein and
sugar levels. Use a dipstick.

- I was just showing concern.
- Well, don't.

I don't suppose you've reconsidered
this lifeboat thing...

Urine. Dipstick. Move.

Wonderful (!)

I'm not quite sure how this happened,

but apparently, Steve Baker is pregnant.

- I beg your pardon?
- See for yourself.

Ah. I used the wrong dipstick, didn't I?

Call Mr Baker and ask him
to come in immediately.

Doc, he's not actually pregnant.

The stick detects beta-hCG,

which is produced in the placenta
during pregnancy in a woman.

But in a man it can be excreted by some
tumours, most commonly testicular cancer.

So, in a way, I did a good
thing, mixing up the sticks.

No, of course you didn't. Just ask Mr Baker
to come in. I'll be out until 12:30.

- Where are you going?
- It's none of your business.

All right.

Hello... Oh, sorry. One second. Hello?

- Hello?
- Hello.

- Hello?
- Hello?

Yes... Er... no.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Thank you. Have you come
for your test results?

Yeah. Is that a problem?

No. Erm... go through.

Morwenna, I need you to call
Dr Timoney on this number

and explain that I had an emergency patient
and need to reschedule today's meeting.

So, does that mean we might need to
close down the surgery this afternoon?

Just call her.

Right-o.

Right.

Your urine sample showed the presence
of human chorionic gonadotrophin.

There's a possibility you
have testicular cancer.

- OK. - Have you felt any dull aches
or pains in your scrotum or abdomen?

No, nothing.

- Look, are you sure about this?
- Well, I'd have to examine you,

to look for lumps on the testes.

- Doc, it's not necessary.
- It's completely necessary.

Right...

Er... not here. On the examination table.

Pull down your underpants.
Put your hands by your side.

Well...?

- Nothing. - Must just
be one of those things.

No, the presence of hCG is never
'just one of those things'.

But I still get a certificate -- right?

You needed a urine sample. I gave you one.

- I need to run more tests.
- But it's not an issue for the medical?

Won't affect me out on the boats?

Er... no. Technically, it won't.

See, erm... if I did have this cancer,

how serious would it be?

I mean, how soon would I have needed
to seek medical treatment?

I just cancelled a really important
meeting to see you. It's that serious.

Make an appointment.

Look, doc. You've done me a favour,

so I'll do you one in return.

Some hard-won wisdom.

Once they're gone, they're
gone. She's not...

Wait. Where are you going?

- Just nipping out to see the doc.
- Nipping out? You're at work.

Well, Steve's not come
back with the wall filler,

so I can't fill the walls.

Why do you need to see the doc?

Oh, come on. I've been
late. I've been tired.

I'm screwing things up for you,
so I thought I'd go see the doc

and get a booster or something.

I know it's frustrating.

So, Dr Timoney says the only time
she can see you is half past five.

She also says she'd
appreciate it next time

if you gave her advance warning
before cancelling an appointment.

She also said, if you miss another one, there
won't be a next time. She sounds like fun.

Send in the next patient.

Now, your next patient is kind of your last patient
for the day. Just made an appointment now.

Where have all the others gone?

Erm... well, do you remember I said I'd
been picked to do this lifeboat thing?

I maybe kind of thought you'd say yes...

so I kept the schedule clear.

Figured I'd be able to
leave about now... ish.

- That's fine.
- Fine?

Send in the next patient.

Are you OK, doc? Cos usually
you'd be yelling at me by now.

Next patient, Morwenna.

For what it's worth, she'll be back.

I've got a sense about these things.

Next patient. Right, got it.

The doc will see you now.

- Take a seat. - I'm sorry,
doc. It won't take long.

I just wondered if I could
get a pick-me-up, as it were.

- A pick-me-up? - Yeah. Yeah. I've
been feeling a bit drained recently.

I sleep all night, but I'm
a dead weight the next day.

I read about these B12 vitamin injections
-- give you more energy and that.

- No.
- Huh?

I'm not just going to dish
out vitamin injections.

They can have significant side-effects.

Not to mention adversely affecting
any condition you may have

that made you feel unwell
in the first place.

All right. Thanks, doc. I've got to be back
at work in five minutes, but thanks, anyway.

- Why are you walking
like that? - Like what?

- You have an awkward gait.
- I don't know what that means.

It means you're walking in a particular way
in order to minimise pain or discomfort.

You're not going anywhere.
Get on the examination table.

Oh, doc... Look, my dad, he
worked the fishing boats...

Really?

And he started getting
this terrible cough,

but he kept working for months,

until eventually my mum convinces
him to go and see the doctor.

Three days later he drops dead.

So, you see what I'm saying?

Yes, he should have seen
his doctor sooner.

Climb onto the table and pull your
pants down to just above the knee

and put your hands by your side.

Give me a hand here, doc.

- You do the pants.
- OK.

- Does that hurt? - No. - But
you're feeling discomfort?

Well, it's odd, taking your trousers
off in front of another fella.

- Physical discomfort.
Exactly where? - Erm...

Just sort of the lower-body region.

- Groin area?
- Maybe.

Is it an acute pain or a dull ache?

Er... the second one, I suppose.

Any headaches or fever?

The odd sore head, but that's
probably just cos I'm tired.

There's a lump on your left
teste. Is that painful?

Ow. Yeah.

I'll need to take some more
blood and urine samples.

- Can't I just go back to work? - No.

- Yeah, just down and
through. OK? - Thanks.

So, what do you need from us?

Some establishing shots --
lifeboat, lifeboat house.

Then when you launch the rescue,
we'll be there filming.

- Well, make us look good. - Right.

Then we'll interview Steve
about the Moon Ray.

I'm sure you're sick of talking about
it, but some sound-bites would be great.

- I'll do my best. - Tim, do you
want to get the girls on the boats?

- I'll do it. - Well, one of the younger
lads could use the experience.

Couldn't agree more, Gerry,

but this news report's all about the
anniversary of the Moon Ray, right?

I imagine our friends from the press

will want to get some coverage of
me on boats. That sort of thing.

Sure. Yeah. Works for us.

Just to say: shoot me from
my left. It's my good side.

Not that I'm telling
you how to do your jobs.

But seriously -- left side.

So, how's it going up at Al's, then?

We're pretty much done.

Really? Cos he seems stressed about it...

Come on. Trust me. It's fine.

- That's it. Go. - Wait
for me! - All aboard.

- Come on, Tim.
- Right, erm...

No, no, no. You're doing it all wrong.

Let me do that.

Yes. That's tested positive
for the beta-hCG hormone,

which can be an indicator
of testicular cancer.

- Oh, right. - I'll send
the sample off for analysis,

but if my diagnosis is correct,
you will need an orchidectomy,

which is when the affected testicle
is removed surgically.

Then, depending on whether you
have a seminoma or a non-seminoma,

you may need a short
course of chemotherapy.

So, I'm... So, I'm buggered, then.

No, I believe we've caught it in time.

With the correct treatment,
you should recover.

But this is also the second
sample today to test positive,

with the same levels of beta-hCG.

You work with Mr Baker, don't you?

- For him, yeah. - Did he pass off
a sample of your urine as his own?

He's the boss.

He just said it was an emergency and,
you know, I had to help him out.

- Why? - Well, because I've been
late every day, off my game.

No, why did he ask you?
What's he trying to hide?

Right.

The receptionist will be in touch
when your results are returned.

- Thanks, doc.
- Yes.

You know, everyone thinks
you're a tosser...

but you're all right by me.

Really?

Mr Baker, this is Dr Ellingham. Could
you call the surgery immediately?

I'll be in my office until 4:45.

- Wooh!
- Hang on!

Woo-hoo!

This is amazing!

Faster, Steve!

- All right?
- OK.

That's where we're headed.

A beach.

Steve?

Steve! Steve, can you hear me?

Janice... Steve!

- What's wrong?
- Help him up.

- I can't!
- Steve!

Steve!

- Morwenna!
- Hold on.

Janice? Are you OK?

I think so.

See if you can get the lifeboat
station on the radio.

Erm... Oh, God.

Steve? Steve, can you hear me?

I'm going to take your helmet off. OK?

Here we go.

- Janice? - I don't know what I'm doing.

- Press the thing in.
- Hello?

- Hello? - Steve, can you hear me?

- Hello? I think it's broken.
- Well, keep trying.

We're going to get some help and everything
is going to be completely fine.

I promise. Hopefully.

Hello?

Oh, Morwenna!

I'm standing outside Portwenn
lifeboat station,

where, five years ago to the day...

- Come on, Steve.
- .. the men here

performed one of the most dramatic
rescues of modern times.

Steve Baker, the man at the centre --

Yes, I'm looking for Steven Baker.

Oh, just ask that guy in the blue jacket.

Right.

I'm looking for Steven Baker.

He's on his way back in the boat.

Well, he shouldn't. He obtained a medical
certificate under false pretences.

- You're joking? - No, I don't joke.
- But that invalidates our insurance.

Well, he's trying to hide something
from me. You've got to get him back.

Like I said, he should be back already.

.. as they played out on
the night of the rescue.

This is Portwenn Station calling PWL1.

This is Portwenn Station calling PWL1.

Come in, PWL1.

Steve, just answer the bloody radio!

Hello?

'Come in, PWL1...'

Hello? Hello? This is Janice.

We need to speak to Steve Baker. Come in.

'This is Morwenna. The boat has
crashed. Steve is injured.'

You need to send help.

Give that to me. Morwenna,
this is Dr Ellingham. Over.

What are you doing there?

You're breaking up badly.
Speak loud and fast.

Steve collapsed, doc. Crashed the boat.

Have you called an ambulance?

'No, there's no way it would get into the
cove and the lifeboat is here with us.'

He's broken his leg or something.

And he definitely isn't breathing
right. He keeps gasping.

Has he spoken at all?

He's all slurred and garbled.
I couldn't understand him.

There's a first-aid kit on the boat.
You need an oropharyngeal airway.

It's a plastic tube that
goes down his throat.

What's he saying?

Sorry, doc. I didn't catch any
of that. I need to get what?

Airway! Plastic tube!

Doc? Hello?

- Hello?
- 'Morwenna....'

Oh, stupid thing!

- Oh, God! Oh, God!
- Doc?

Morwenna... I need to get to that boat
as soon as possible. What's that?

- It's a life-jacket.
Put it on. - Right.

Right. The tide's coming in, so we
need to get him onto the stretcher,

up the beach and into
the recovery position.

- No. - We have to move him. Ready?

I can't, not if he's gonna scream.

Well, plug your ears, then,
cos we don't have a choice.

- OK, I'm sorry.
- Right. Steve...

We're going to roll you off the
boat and onto the stretcher.

I'm really sorry.

Right. Three, two, one.

42-year-old Steve Baker
was the hero of the night,

singlehandedly saving the lives of --

I'm going to take your
boat out for a spin.

The water's a little choppy today. You
know -- just to check it for myself.

I don't want to have
to rescue you, as well!

- Everything OK?
- All right, Jo.

The water's not choppy. What
are you talking about?

Steve took the boat out on a
fraudulent medical certificate,

but it's nothing to get worked
up or noisy about. OK?

- That's a crime.
- It's not a crime.

Taking a boat out without authorisation.
That's grand theft nautical.

I should come. Right, doc?

I don't care. As long as
you don't get in my way.

The Dynamic Duo. Back in action again.

- What are you doing now?
- Oh, I don't know.

He wanted me to look for
something in the medical kit.

It's gonna be OK.

Right. If the doc was here, he'd be
shouting, 'What is the actual problem?'

And the problem is: Steve
isn't breathing properly.

So... we need to help him breathe.

Why don't these stupid things
come with instructions?

I'll Google it.

Oh, God. I've got no reception.

I've never had no reception.
This is awful.

It's all right. I've seen him use one.

He sort of shoved it in
and twisted it... I think.

But what if I do something
wrong and do more damage?

Well, you've got to do something -- right?

OK.

You are totally the doc!

Nice one.

I'm fine. I'm fine.

This isn't nearly as fun
as I thought it would be.

They're here!

Over here! Over here!

Help!

- Oh, come on! - We're not
going to be able to land.

Too shallow. You're going
to have to wade ashore.

Oh, god.

- I need you to drop anchor for me.
- Aye-aye, Skipper.

He's over here. We had to move him.

I put an airway in. I don't know
if that was the right thing to do.

Yes, it was. What happened?

He just collapsed. Crashed
the boat into the rocks.

- Did he lose control of his arms?
- He must have done. Yeah.

Putting on weight. High blood pressure.

I think he's had a transient ischaemic
attack. Like a miniature stroke.

- Oh, and there's his leg. - What?

Oh, my God.

He's broken his tibia.
Do you have a splint?

We put one on the lifeboat.

I'm on it.

Mr Baker, can you hear me?
You've had a minor stroke.

Have you been taking any other medication
that you haven't told me about?

I don't believe you. You deceived
me over a urine test.

What are you trying to hide?

I'm not trying to hide anything,
doc. I was just trying to compete.

What do you mean, compete?

All the young lads looking at
me like I was over, finished.

I had to show them. You understand, right?

No, I don't. What were
you taking? Steroids?

Trying to keep my edge.

Steroids alone wouldn't
cause this. What else?

- EPO. - EPO? That's a
performance-enhancing drug.

That would increase your oxygen take-up and
your blood pressure, on top of a steroid.

No wonder you had a stroke, you idiot.

- I didn't have a choice.
- Yes, you did have a choice.

Just as you chose not to
tell me it wasn't your urine

that tested positive
for testicular cancer.

I was going to call Barry afterwards.

I just wanted to show everyone you
don't write off Steve bloody Baker.

Saved the Moon Ray, I did.

Oh, shut up. Right. I'm going
to have to re-set your leg

before we get you on the boat,
and that'll hurt a lot.

Take hold of him.

I'll help, although I've
probably got hypothermia.

- No, you haven't. - Well, I'm dead
cold. It's practically the same.

Be quiet.

All right. Hold tight.

There's something not right.
They're taking too long.

Fudge?

- We need to get him on the boat.
- Can't use the lifeboat.

The propeller was down when
it landed. Out of action.

We'll have to take him back
on the... fishing boat.

- I told you to drop anchor. - I did.

- Did you make sure the anchor
was connected to the boat? - Hey!

- To be fair, you never said that.
- For God's sake! You idiot!

- Call for another boat.
- Not gonna get a signal out here.

Well, use the lifeboat radio. He
needs urgent medical attention.

There could be any number
of complications.

Are you OK, doc?

Yes.

Rude.

Radio's taken a battering. I'll take
it apart, see what the problem is.

- Well, how long will it take?
- I don't know. Maybe 15, 20 minutes.

Make it quicker.

How much longer are you going to be?

- It'll be done when
it's done. - Oh, God!

It's a mayday...

- There you go.
- Thanks.

Try not to get it dirty.
It's the only one I've got.

We shouldn't even be here.

We should have just gone and helped Al.

I don't really want to be on TV, anyway.

He asked me to help, as well.

But I was still angry
with him for moving out.

Some mates we are (!)

Oh. Doc? Are you OK there?

- Be quiet! - You've got plenty
to live for. Probably.

- Oh, will you shut up?!
- Steady on, doc.

Don't snap at her. It's not our fault.

Oh, no, it's never anybody's fault
in the village of the idiots!

- Doc... - Can't drop an anchor
or provide a urine sample...

- Doc! - What? - Radio's working.

This idiot's got a boat coming.

Right. That's good.

OK. Let's go inside now.

Oh, no, no. There's nothing
to see here, really.

Just don't...

He'll need a CT scan to determine

whether it was a stroke or a TIA,
and whether there was any damage.

Right, doc.

Thanks, mate (!) Thanks a lot.

You knew there was something wrong
with me and you didn't say.

- I was going to tell you.
- No, I quit. You're on your own.

The 'great' Steve Baker. Tosser.

- No. No. Don't film this.
- Stand back, please.

I've been waiting for you for ages, Barry.

Barry? Oh, yeah. You leave me in
the lurch, as well, mate. Nice one.

- Are you OK?
- Yeah. Boat crashed.

Got stranded. Had to save Steve's
life. Typical Tuesday, isn't it (?)

- What?
- Right.

Are we gonna get this farmhouse finished?

Really? Oh, thanks.

Would you like an extra
pair of hands, boy?

- Are you sure? - You think
I'd let you down, then? Eh?

- Well... - Jo's going
to help, too. Apparently.

Jo?

A lot of people would have been worried

about being cold or getting
stuck out there, but --

Sorry. Excuse me, mate.
You're in the shot.

It's OK. I was there.

I'm actually a policeman,

so, if you want to interview me for
the official story... happy to help.

Sure. Sure.

(Go tight on the girl and crop the idiot.)

Sorry. You were saying...?

Yeah. So, all I was worried about was getting
that airway and saving Steve Baker's life.

'Erm... it's me. I guess you're busy.

Erm... maybe I'll try again later.'

'You've reached Louisa.
Please leave a message.'

Dr Ellingham. Would you
tell Dr Timoney I'm here?

- You're 25 minutes late.
- Yes, I was unavoidably detained.

But I'm here now. Would
you tell Dr Timoney?

Dr Timoney.

Oh. You're very young.

- Have you been fighting?
- Of course I haven't.

Well, you are here. Eventually.

So I suppose you might
be serious. Come through.

I only have time to arrange a schedule
with you today now. Is that satisfactory?

Erm... yes.

I'll need a proper commitment
-- once a week, without fail.

Can you manage that?

Erm... yes. I think so.

Either you can or you can't, Dr Ellingham.

Er... yes. Yes, I can.

That's another thing -- my study is
a phone-free zone. No distractions.

- I'm expecting a very important
call. - And no exceptions.

Take a seat.

House rules.

No skipping sessions, for whatever reason.

No tardiness. Punctuality
is proof of commitment...

Where do you stand on the use
of maggots for wound cleaning?

How are two lobsters going to
feed 40? This isn't the Bible.

You're my first guests, and I want
to make sure everything's perfect.

Before my wife left,
things were difficult.

What are you afraid of, Martin?

Of losing her.