Doc Martin (2004–…): Season 6, Episode 5 - The Practice Around the Corner - full transcript

Everything all right?
Oh, I couldn't sleep either.

So I see. What are you doing? I'm
just worried she could do it again.

What do you mean?

Mrs Tishell. I just found
a very similar case here.

That's not a reliable source
of information. It's a case study

from a medical journal.
This woman stole a baby

because she was in love with a man,
and pretended it was theirs to trap him.

Was it the second time she'd done it?
No.

Mrs Tishell has completed
an entire course of treatment.

She has neither reason nor desire
to do it again.

She's obsessed with you,
and she's back tomorrow.



She WAS obsessed with me.
She still might be.

This was an isolated psychosis
caused by mixing medication.

It won't happen again. They wouldn't
discharge her if she weren't well.

Well, she's always been odd.
Yes, she has.

It's late.

Everything seems worse.
Why don't you come to bed? Yeah.

I'll be up in a minute.

Morning!

You were late last night.
Anything you wanna confess?

I wish.
We had a party in from Delabole.

Didn't think
they were ever gonna leave.

You need a social life.
I'm working on it.

Oh! There's a fresh loaf
if you want some toast.

See ya!



See you.

Wilderness-training log,

Tuesday the 11th, 0830.

Heading to drop-off point.

My backup is handling logistics.

Task in hand - to make my way back to
base camp, Portwenn, unassisted.

What's with the camera, anyway?
Nobody's gonna be watching.

It's a learning aid.

The selection course
is in a few days.

Bin day was yesterday. Oh, bugger!

I was just on my way to school,
and I thought I'd sort of...

Well, I'd ask you in
for a cup of tea,

but neither of us
have time for that.

So come on. Out with it.

Mrs Tishell's coming back.
I know. It's all round the village.

I was doing some research last night
about women who steal babies.

Not the happiest of bedtime reading.
No.

Martin says it won't happen again,
but how do we know she isn't...

Mrs Tishell isn't under
my supervision, so I can't comment,

but anyone in psychiatric care
would be thoroughly evaluated

before being allowed back
into society. Mm.

How does Martin feel about it?
Well, he didn't sleep last night,

but I don't think
it's got anything to do with her.

I just don't trust her, Ruth.

Perhaps I could drop in on her
this afternoon and see how she is.

Would you? Oh, thanks, Ruth.

Go on, now.
You'll be late for school. Yeah.

Bye!

Make it quick, boy.
I've not got all day.

You're a good man, Bert Large.

It don't run on fresh air!

Oh. Right. Sorry.

It's just... I've only got a fiver
with me for emergencies. That'll do.

Right.
See you tomorrow night at the Crab.

Drinks are on me. Count on me being
there. I'm not so sure about you.

Living off my wits is nothing new.
Your wits'll last you that long?

Only the best are chosen for the
High Potential Development Scheme.

I plan to be one of them.
If you say so, boy.

Call me if you need me. Negative.

Survival experts don't need mobile
phones - just their intelligence.

It's just you and me, Buddy!
You, me and the wild blue yonder.

Right. Let's go.

Buddy?

Here, boy!

Buddy!

Handkerchief!

In you go!

Might need a minute, Doc!
Stood on some glass.

Are you gonna put that thing down
and do some work today,

or is this some holiday
that I'm not aware of? Sorry.

And you've been giggling like
a schoolgirl the whole time. Go on.

What's her name? Nefertari.

Neferfatati? No. Nefertari.

I think I put a tenner on a horse
with that name in the Grand National.

It's not her real name, is it?
Well, what is it, then?

Well, I don't know.

That's what's cool about it.
I met her on a dating website,

Cornish Couples. You use usernames
instead of your real ones.

What did you call yourself, then?
Colin.

Colin!

Do you actually know
what she looks like? No.

But, like I said, it's anonymous.

Keeps it... you know, interesting.

Oh, right! Yeah.

Well, if Colin is finished talking
to a woman

whose face and name he doesn't know,

then, perhaps he might like
to finish laying the tables!

Ow! Careful, Doc.

How did you do it? Glass-dancing.

It's all the rage now.

No. Beachcombing. Oh.

Beachcomber Baubles. I make
jewellery from whatever I can find.

It's not everyone's taste, but the
tourists seem to like it, mostly.

Here! You got a wife.

How's about it, eh?

Got to be worth a couple of quid.
It's detritus.

I'll put that on the sales
literature. "It's detritus" -

Doc Martin, Portwenn.
Your ankles are puffy.

Do you eat a lot of salt? Not really.

Do you eat takeaway food
or microwave meals? Sometimes.

My daughter works in a chippy.
Cut the salt from your diet,

and elevate your feet
at least 15 minutes every day.

When did you last have
a tetanus injection? Years ago.

I'll give you a booster.
The wound's not deep.

Get dressings from the chemist
and change it when you bathe.

Keep the pressure off it.
I can't take a break, Doc.

Big craft fair this weekend.

If I miss it,
I'll have to sell one of my kids.

Stay out of the sun, too. Your skin's
had far too much UV exposure.

Shoulder.

Wilderness-training log,
Tuesday the 11th...

..11:20.

First rule of survival - kill or...

Kill or be killed.

To survive in the wild,
man must become hunter.

Right.

Let's do it.

I can't do it.

Damn!

Aaaaaagh!

Oh. Thank you.

Just a sec.

She's agreed to meet me tonight.
Nosferatu?

Nefertari. It's a bad idea.

It's my night off.
It's only over in Wadebridge.

Searching for love on the internet
is for losers.

It's been ages
since I've been out with anyone.

I don't want to end up sitting on my
tod in front of the TV every night.

No offence, Dad.

Nothing wrong with relaxing
after a hard day's work.

No.

You know what? You're right.

Sometimes you just got to go for it
and carpe diem and all that.

Thanks. But...

Hey! Dad!

Wilderness-training log,

Tuesday the 11th, 1200 hours.

Second rule of survival...

..always expect the unexpected.

Third rule of survival...

..adapt, improvise and overcome.

Agh!

Agh!

This is a good one.

Watch your babies, girls!
Pill popper. Nutter!

I know your mothers!

Ooh!

There you go. Thanks, Miss Cardew.
Just "Jenny"'s fine.

Oh!

Hello, Mrs Tishell.

Megan!

The powers that be phoned to say
that you'd be arriving back today.

I keep the lotions in the window.
People like to see them.

I'm Jenny Cardew,
and I've been holding the fort.

Welcome back.
Why is it so hot in here?

I must admit, I did nudge the
thermostat up a couple of notches.

I prefer to wear a cardigan.

All, er, better, then?

We're running low on vitamin B,
I see.

Yes, thank you. All fine. And now
I'm gonna get back to work.

That's great,
but don't overdo it, eh?

Why not let me take the weight
till you're back in the swing?

Oh, the lotions got the direct sun
in the morning there,

so that's why I thought
they might be better there.

If you say so!

And how long
are you planning to stay?

I'm not really sure.
Until I hear otherwise.

Can I help you?

Hello, Sal! Welcome home.
Yes. Thank you.

She hasn't even unpacked,
and she's back at work.

So, how can I be of service to you,
Bert?

Well, actually,
if you don't mind, Sally...

I'm sorry? I have a personal matter
I wish to discuss with Jenny here.

Excuse me, then,
I'm sure, Jennifer -

or, should I say, "Jenny"?

Sounds intriguing.
Well, I suppose it could be,

but I wouldn't want you
to get your hopes up either.

Well, spit it out, then!

Well, I was wondering
if you would consider...

The thing is,
we're not getting any younger -

not that you're old!

Yes? Will you go out and have a date
with me tomorrow?

Yes.

Right!

OK! Hmm!

Right!

Wilderness-training log,
Tuesday the 11th,

1600 hours.

Not too long till nightfall now.

Have located suitable place
for bedding down

and have erected my shelter.

No!

Agh!

No! Agh!

Mrs Tishell.

Oh! Well, yes.

Hello. On your own?

Miss Cardew's just popped out
to the post-box,

and apparently I'm not allowed
to serve you unsupervised.

Well, it's good to see you back.

I trust your... convalescence
was a success.

Yes, thank you.

And you're feeling well in yourself?
I'm fine, thank you.

Again.

Ah!

Cognitive behavioural therapy.

Yes. I use it to control...
negative thoughts.

Are you finding it effective?
I... think so, yes.

It's a gradual process.
It takes time.

The therapists at the home
were wonderful.

Did you try any other techniques?

Guided discovery and validity
testing, and I kept a thought diary.

Which was nice.

And you're quite comfortable
being back?

Well, although it would be good
not to have the watchdog.

Speak of the devil!

Ooh! Hello, Dr Ellingham.
Anything I can help with?

No, thank you.
I just came in to see Mrs Tishell.

Right! That's me off.
Good luck, "Colin"!

Evening, sir. What can I get you?
Er, pint of lager.

Al? What are you doing here?

Er, meeting someone.
Didn't know you were out tonight.

No. It was a last-minute thing. Oh.

I'd ask you to join me,
but it's a bit...

Yeah. Yeah, no problem. Same here.

You've got to be kidding me.

No! Nefertari?

Colin?

Unbelievable! You're Colin?

I thought that was his real name.

No-one chooses Colin as a username.
You said you were an entrepreneur!

You said you were a doctor.
A medical professional.

You're a receptionist! You feed
sheep and tidy up after your dad.

Oh! So, you wouldn't be interested
unless - what?

I had a fancy job?
That's a bit shallow, isn't it?

Attracted to the job.
Why did you lie about it, then?

That's a good point. Yeah.

And, no,
Nefertari didn't agree to meet Colin

because he was an entrepreneur
or whatever.

He actually seemed quite witty
and charming in his messages.

Not in real life?
No, cos in real life he's Al.

Oh.

Well, it doesn't mean anything,
does it? No.

Not like you knew it was me
or I knew it was you. Exactly.

It's a computer glitch. This is
what happens when you trust robots.

It probably knew you had a thing
for doctors' receptionists.

I don't have a thing for...
We should demand our money back.

Hmm. Except Cornish Couples is free.

Not surprising, is it?

So, I'll see you at home, then.
Yeah. See you...

Mm... Colin.

Morning.

Sleep all right? Perfect.

You sleep OK? Always do, yeah.

Tea's in the pot.

Morning, Doc!

Hey, cheeky man!

I passed Louisa on her way to work.

You look a little tired.
You sleep OK?

Fine. Yes.

I used to try counting sheep -
you know, the classic.

Except I'd have to count them
into multiples of 13 -

26, 39, 52, 65.

I'd get on to 2,041 before
I realised it wasn't helping at all.

How long have you had OCD?

All my life, I think. That's why
I thought the Army would suit me.

The attention to detail,

and I had the best turned-out locker
in my unit. But that...

that didn't work out as planned,
so...

My first girlfriend left me
because she couldn't handle it.

And I said to her, "Make sure
you close the door five times

on your way out."

You're not a fan of jokes, are you?
I didn't know it was a joke.

Hello.

Hello!

You're back, then. Yes, thank you.

How have you been? Well. Yourself?

Good! Good.

You better? Yes, thank you.

I'm fine.

Louisa, I am aware of what I did,
and I take full responsibility.

You mean taking my child? Yes, I do.

And I apologise.

And what about your issues
with my husband?

With your...

We're married.

Well, I hope that you and...

My husband.

..Dr Ellingham
can find it in your hearts

to forgive me.

Why do you keep doing that? I don't.

How is little James?

He must've grown.

Yes. He's got a nanny -
a minder, really. A man.

He's ex-Army. That's nice.

Are you gonna apologise to Martin?

Yes!

And then we can draw a line
under it,

and start afresh
as if nothing had ever happened.

Yep. I'm gonna be late.

Hello!

Hello! HELLO!

I need dressings for my foot. The doc
said I could get them here. Right.

Here we go. Thank you.

I don't suppose
you've got any pick-me-ups.

I just feel knackered all the time.
Let me see.

What about something natural?
This might do the trick.

Give you a bit of a boost. You'd be
better off seeing the doctor

for medical advice. The Chinese
have sworn by the proven effects

of Ginkgo biloba
for thousands of years.

I didn't realise
you'd been alive that long.

What are the dressings for?
Er, broken glass. Beach.

Ooh! And old Lorna here
not looking where she was going.

Mm.
Well, your ankles are very puffy.

Yeah. The doc said that, too.
And they do seem worse today.

The cut could've become infected.

You'd better go back
and see the doctor again.

Or you could leave it,
and the infection could spread

with the blood flow
to the other parts of your body.

Up to you.

Up to what? Lungs. Heart.

No. No. I'll go back and see the doc.

Good thing I was here, then,
wasn't it?

So, how was it, then?

Do I hear wedding bells
in the distance?

It was, um... It was good. Yeah.

So, are you going to take her out
again, then?

Don't think so. Oh, right.

So, she wasn't exactly
the Mona Lisa, then? No.

She was nice. She was lovely.
But she didn't like you.

No. She liked me fine.
But there were no sparks?

Conversation were a bit stilted?
No. We got on all right.

Well...

..if she was lovely,
and she liked you,

and you both got on together,
why aren't you seeing her again?

You know, a private life
is meant to remain private.

Hence the phrase.

Couldn't shut up about her
yesterday, though, could you?

Can you tell?
Must get a bit of an eye for it,

being able to work out
which ones are the malingerers,

the worriers,
and those who are properly ill.

I think maybe I'm not the best judge
of character, to be honest.

Next patient! That's you.

I know, love.

Hello, Doc.

Sorry. It's my foot again.

Er, Mrs Tishell thinks
that my ankle is swelling

cos the cut is infected.
She said it could spread.

She's wrong. The cut's not infected.
But your ankles are bigger.

Have you had any other symptoms
since you last came to see me?

I asked you a question.

Well, I've sort of had
aches and pains in my joints,

but I always have those.
And I'm always tired,

even when I get
my eight hours' sleep.

I just figured it was an age thing.
Why didn't you mention it before?

I don't know.

Summer's my busy season.

At least it's meant to be.

I got bills to pay
and debts to cover, and...

And no-one likes bad news, Doc.

Fear of a diagnosis
never changed an underlying problem.

My mum suffered from arthritis.

But she was much older.

Nearly crippled her in the end.
I've seen what it can be like.

Which joints hurt the most?
My wrists and my elbows.

The swelling in your ankles isn't the
sort we usually find with arthritis.

It could be a symptom of liver
disease or cardiac inefficiencies.

Oh! Oh, no, no, Doc. You go ahead.

Don't you sugar-coat it or anything.
I'll do a blood test.

That'll show up
any liver or cardiac problems

and any inflammatory markers
for arthritis.

How quickly will you know?
I should have results by tomorrow.

Stop! Stop!

Is Dr Ellingham free?

Do you have an appointment?
That wasn't my question.

You can't just go in there!
Is he with someone? No. Good.

Hello, Doctor. It's not my fault!

You don't have an appointment.
I just need five mins.

I saw Louisa earlier
and wanted to see you too. Why?

To clear the air.

Is that really necessary? Yes.

Well...

..how have you been? Fine. As am I.

The doctors said the best thing
would be to go back to normal,

so that's what I'm doing. Good.

What do you want?

You being held in such high esteem,

perhaps you could ring
the pharmacy regulator.

If you could tell them
there's no need for Miss Cardew!

I'm fine running the place alone.
I'm a GP, not a psychiatrist.

And even if I were, it wouldn't be
appropriate for me to intervene.

Considering we've been friends
for such a long time...

If you could just consider...

consider just... I suggest
you follow their requirements,

keep working with Miss Cardew,

until such time
as the regulator decides

that you're fit enough
to work unsupervised.

I understand.

Thank you.

Oh, and by the way, Doctor,
congratulations on your wedding!

Good boy! Oh, you are a good boy!

No! No, no, no! Get out!

GET OUT!

Disgusting!

Martin? Yes? I just wanted a word.

Louisa mentioned
you hadn't been sleeping.

It came out in a roundabout way
during a conversation.

Oh, yes. I'm sure it did. And
you did mention at my birthday lunch

that you thought your blood phobia
might be returning. Yes?

It could be that
that's affecting your sleep.

I'm going to London in a few days.
I've got someone there.

He's very good.
I could make you an introduction.

Oh, Ruth! Hello.
Oh, I just thought I'd drop by

to give you an update
on Mrs Tishell.

In my opinion, she's doing as well
as can be expected.

Yes. Yes, I saw her as well.
She was just here.

What did she say?
Er, she wasn't very happy.

I refused to telephone
the pharmacy regulator on her behalf.

You were right not to get involved
with that.

How did you find her?
I think she was trying to be nice,

but obviously still a fruitcake.

Whenever I mentioned Martin, she'd
ping an elastic band on her wrist.

That's a tool
used in behavioural therapy.

It helps her to avoid
negative thoughts.

What sort of negative thoughts?
About me or Martin?

That's between her
and her therapist.

Right. So she's still not better.
Why do you say that?

If she were cured, she wouldn't
still be using the elastic band.

It'll take her some time
to get back to normal.

Fine, but I'm keeping an eye on her.

I really don't think
you have anything to worry about.

Let's hope not.

Well, I'll be off. Yes.

Bye. Bye.

Bye.

So, who does Ruth
want to introduce you to?

Um...

She wants me to see a psychiatrist.

Why? She thinks there might be
a link between my insomnia

and the return
of my blood sensitivity.

I see.

When did it come back?

Um, a while ago.

Why didn't you talk to me?

I don't know.

Oh.

I didn't want to worry you.

I'm your wife.

Doc, I know we're closed,
but it's Joe Penhale.

He's in a bad way.
Er, could you wash the fruit?

There was a dog on the table.

Get on the examination table.

I take it there's an explanation?

I think I might've shot myself
a bit. Where?

Dunno. Somewhere on the moor.

Where are you shot? Oh.

In the foot.

Do what you have to do, Doctor.
I can take it.

Argh! Oh!

Steady...

What on earth is that?

Moss.

You've put it on an open wound.
My survival book said

you can use moss
as an emergency field dressing.

This is sphagnum moss.
It harbours sporotrichosis.

So... I shouldn't have used it, then?

Not in its natural state, no!

It needs to be dried and sterilised.

To just put it raw
on an open wound...

You've introduced fungal spores
into your blood system.

I'll give you a course of antifungals
and clean up the wound. Gloves.

Any chance
I might be back in action soon?

Well, you'll need to rest it.
The thing is,

I'm doing the High Potential
Development selection course

in a few days.
No, you're not. Positive?

Yes. Right.

My grandad gave me that book.

Said it might help save my life
one day.

Did he also say how it might lead you
to poison yourself?

No.

Makes you wonder, doesn't it?

Morning, Lorna!
Lovely day for it, eh?

Lorna?

What is it?

Lorna Gillott's collapsed
down on the beach. Sounds serious.

Did her blood test results come back?
Yeah. They emailed them through.

Wait in reception. I'll take that out
when I get back. Sorry about this.

Went down like a sack of potatoes,
Doc.

Any chest pain? Breathlessness?
I feel fine.

It's just one of my spells.
One of your spells?

This has happened before? No.

Did you rest like I told you to?
Like I said,

summer's my busy season.

I have been taking these
Chinese stuff, and iron tablets -

you know, to help me get by.

That's incredibly stupid of you!

Your blood-test results show
that you have haemochromatosis.

Your ferritin levels
are through the roof. Oh, my God!

What exactly does that mean?

It means your body
has a massive amount of iron in it,

which has burnished your skin,
accounts for your irregular heartbeat

and accumulated in your joints. I
can't believe you took iron tablets!

So I don't have arthritis?
No! It's a treatable condition.

It should clear up
in a couple of months. Oh, Doc!

That is wonderful. I could hug you.
No!

Help me get her to the surgery.
I'll get my bag.

Thought you'd be at work.

Oh! Just popped back for this.

Going somewhere?

Yeah.

I was gonna leave you a note.

Oh!

Yeah.

You wanna move out.

It's awkward, innit?

I mean, before it was a laugh,
and now it... Well.

Probably for the best, eh? Yeah.

I'm a terrible housemate. You'll be
glad to see the back of me.

You got somewhere to go, though?
Oh, course! Yeah, yeah.

It's not like I'm just gonna wander
the streets aimlessly.

Right!

Well, see you.

Thank you.

My ferret level...

Ferritin! It's a measure
of the level of iron in your blood.

And 2,000's high? You could've
set off a metal detector.

Anything over 400 is high.
So, how did I get it, then?

It's hereditary, more common in people of Celtic
descent. I am Cornish, through and through!

Most typical in postmenopausal women.

Everything all right?

Yes. You need to give
a pint of blood once a week

for three weeks,
and then once a month

until your ferritin levels
are down to normal.

No. I mean, everything all right
with you? You look a bit off.

Press down.

So, how long till
I'm feeling better, then?

With rest, a week.

Oh!

I suppose I could ask my Annie
to cover the craft fair for me.

What you doing with that?
It's clinical waste.

You might feel a little lightheaded.
Stay in reception for 15 minutes.

Ask Morwenna to make you
a cup of sweet tea.

So, see you next week, Doc. Yes.

You know what?

I think I'm gonna make you
a special pair of cufflinks

as my little thank-you. Thank you.

You want some company?

What's happened to you?

Run-in with Mother Nature.

Won't be doing my course this year.

Always next year. Yeah.

What's another 12 months, eh?

What you doing out here?

Got nowhere to stay.

What about Morwenna's?
Don't go there.

There's always your dad's.

I can't just keep going back home.

You ever wonder
where it all went wrong?

I got a spare room.

Have you?

Well, you could stay there.
Nah, but, you know...

I'll sort something out.
Well, think of it.

It could be fun -
you and me, living together.

Portwenn's
two most eligible bachelors

sharing life's ups and downs.
Well, could be worse.

Yeah? Well, it's that or the beach.

I don't have a lot of choice!
That's the spirit.

Come on.

I'd give you a hand with your bags,
but...

Er, yeah.

Come on.

You heard of asbestosis?
Is it serious?

It can lead to cancer.

Were you black ops?
What? Special squad?

Infiltrating behind enemy lines?

Hold still.

Haven't got much choice,
have I, Doc?

Your blood phobia's
not getting better. Not yet.

Will you phone
that psychiatrist now?