Doc Martin (2004–…): Season 3, Episode 7 - Happily Ever After - full transcript

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I've done a list of all your
patients for this morning,

and you've got my mobile
number, so if you need me, just call.

I can be here quicker than
you can say "jackrabbit."

Yes, I'm sure I can manage
for a few hours without you.

Thank you, Pauline.

So?

What?

Doc, how do you feel?

Fine.

No. You know,
considering what day it is.



Any last words before
you face the firing squad?

No.

Shouldn't have
made an appointment.

It's just a big bother for you.

No, it isn't.

I mean, it was just
a little bit of blood.

Hardly worth mentioning.

Any blood in the urine
is worth mentioning.

Perhaps I should
come back another day.

Mr. Wishaw, take off your
trousers and lie down, please.

Didn't even know
you were open today.

I mean, today of all days.

My wedding is this
afternoon. This is the morning.

Will you take off your
trousers and lie down?



Definitely not how I wanted
to spend my wedding day.

I'm getting married.

We know.

- I'm getting married.
- You having a freak-out?

No. It's just...

I'm getting married.

To a doctor. I'm so jealous.

We used to talk about what bloke
we'd marry when we were kids.

You always plumped for doctor.

No, I didn't.

Did I?

And now your fairy
tale has come true.

Prince Charming
with his stethoscope.

I'm not marrying Martin
because of his job.

This little one's daddy
worked as a city planner.

That's nowhere near
as good as a doctor.

City planner.

Couldn't even plan

to hang around long
enough for the birth.

I still don't think you should
have come all this way

in your condition.

I'm fine. I'm not
ready to pop yet.

Besides, it's only 40-odd
miles. It's not far, is it?

And I couldn't miss
your wedding, could I?

You're so lucky.

Yeah, everyone is so jealous.
The doc is such a catch.

I can't wait to meet
him. What's he like?

Well, he's straightforward.

He's moral.

He's... Martin.

Oh.

Well, he sounds fantastic.

Hymns, Dr. Ellingham.

I asked you for a list of
which ones you wanted played,

and you still haven't complied.

Uh, but I don't think
we're having any hymns.

Well, you perhaps don't
hold much stead with tradition,

but I imagine Miss Glasson does.

Getting married
isn't just a case

of being in and out
as fast as possible.

It's an important spiritual
occasion where both parties...

Your hand's trembling.

- What do you mean?
- Your hand. Since you came in.

Tremors.

Maybe I should examine
you while you're here.

Don't change the subject.
Hymns, Dr. Ellingham.

What?

I had a drink earlier
today with a parishioner.

It's not against the law.

I didn't say that it was.

If you're experiencing
tremors, though,

I think it a good idea
that I examine you.

I'm not gonna sit here
and be accused by you.

I'm not accusing
you of anything.

Out of my way, please.

Oh.

Perhaps I should
take a look at that.

You stay away from me!

That was an accident.

Huh, look at that, boy.

Not bad for a day's work, eh?

Not bad for three days' work.

So, what did I tell you?
Who needs Mick Mabley?

Bit of elbow grease,
a couple of cookbooks.

Jamie Oliver's
got nothing on us.

So when people hear the
words "wedding reception,"

who will they think of?

Large and Large Restaurant.

Yeah. Not even the doc
can complain about this one.

Oi, haven't finished yet, boy.

Make a start on
those dishes, will you?

I'm not sure dishwasher

is part of my job remit
as "manager," is it?

Uh, Dad.

What?

- Uh...
- What's up?

Pass me that spanner,
will you? It's just there.

Yeah.

Uh...

Aah!

- Here.
- I got it, I got it.

I got it. I got it.

- Sorry.
- It's gone.

That was a bit weird, wasn't it?

What's that?

Oh, it's just the pipes
settling, that's all.

No.

Oh, dear. That's
not good, is it, boy?

Right. Let's take a look.

- Uh, Dad, I wouldn't...
- It's all right. It's all right.

Good lord. Hang on.

Oh, God! Blooming heck!

No, boy. Boy!

Oh. How lovely.

Someone's got a fountain.

Wish I had a fountain.

I really appreciate
you doing this, Roger.

Ah, it's my pleasure.

- How are the twins?
- Bloody marvelous.

Twice the mess
but twice the joy.

Glad some people understand

what it means to be
a responsible father.

Yes. Well, it's more of a
lesson learned over time.

Roger Fenn. Father of the bride.

Well, uh, the, uh,
stand-in father of the bride.

Isobel Brown. Fat bridesmaid.

You're not fat. You're pregnant.

Same thing. Ooh.

Are you okay?

Ah, it's just these stuffed
mushrooms giving me indigestion.

Oi. Those are a family recipe.

Never caused no
one indigestion before.

I'm sorry. I didn't
mean to insult you.

You pay no attention to me.

Oh, I-I bought you
these, party poppers.

Get the party off with
a bang, as it were.

Oh, that is so sweet of you.

Come on. Let's all
get into the party spirit.

Yes! A toast.

True love, as they say,
travels on a graveled road.

But it's not the
journey that's important.

It's the destination
that matters.

That's very nice, thanks.

A one, two, three!

Oww! Oh, my eye!

Oh, God, Isobel! Let me see.

Oh.

I can recommend a daily
regime of cardiovascular exercise,

along with some
testosterone treatment,

but your condition is, um...

It's genetic, um...

And as such, it, um...

Excuse me. I don't
have a receptionist.

- What?
- Martin? It's me. Louisa.

Yes. Hello.

Hello.

My, uh, my bridesmaid, Isobel,

has just shot herself in
the eye with a party popper.

- She's done what?
- A party popper.

You know, it's got streamers,

and it makes a
loud bang at parties.

Anyway, it went right in her
eye, and she's in a lot of pain.

Well, she could have
ruptured her anterior chamber.

She needs to see me immediately.

Could you apply a cold compress

without putting any
pressure on the actual eye?

- Don't touch it!
- Okay. Yeah, I will do.

And how are you?

With a patient.

Right. Yep. See you later.

Yes. I, um...

look forward to it.

Bye.

Sorry about that.

What was I saying?

You were saying it's genetic.

Right. Yes, uh,
Klinefelter's syndrome.

There's no cure for
it. You can't change it.

The main thing is to
learn how to live with it.

What if I can't do that?

I'm afraid you don't
have any choice.

Well, there's always
a choice, Doc.

Yes, well,

depends how miserable you
want the rest of your life to be.

Oh.

It's a bit depressing.

Yes, I suppose it is.

Hmm.

Take a seat on
the edge of the bed.

- All right, open your eye.
- I'm very excited to meet you.

I need you to
keep your head still.

So, um, what did you think
when you first met Louisa?

Was it love at first sight?

- Mrs. Brown...
- Miss.

When you talk, your
head moves. Do you mind?

Sorry. Right, right.

So, uh, did you know
that she liked you?

Look, have you come here
for an examination or a chat?

- No?
- No.

Then please... Thank you.

Mm, you're lucky.
Damage is minimal.

I'll give you some
drops for the pain.

Uh, I'd recommend
you wear an eye patch.

Uh, no, I-I can't wear an
eye patch. I'm a bridesmaid.

Would you rather it got infected

- and you lost the use of it?
- No.

Right, then.

Use the drops for 24 hours only.

Any longer and it
actually delays healing.

Repeated use could
damage your cornea.

Okay.

I take it you're having
regular check-ups with your GP

- for your condition.
- Uh, my condition?

You're aware that
you're pregnant?

Of, course.

How far gone are you?

It's 35 weeks and counting.

I'm gonna have a
natural birth, though.

None of those icky
drugs or anything.

Mm. God forbid you
should use "icky drugs"

when you can experience the
excruciating agony of childbirth

in the raw.

You know, you're not
quite how I imagined you.

Thank you.

So I suppose I shall see
you at the church, then.

As long as I don't
damage the other eye.

Right.

Everything all right?

Would you be fine to make
your own way back to Louisa's?

I just want a quick
word with Martin.

Oh, yes, yes. I'll be fine.
Don't you worry about me.

Look, um...

It's probably a bit late in
the day to be asking you this,

and I don't want to seem
like a killjoy, but, uh...

you are sure about
this, aren't you?

What do you mean?

A lot of people in this village

are very surprised
this is happening.

A lot of people in this village
are related to one another.

It doesn't mean we have
to listen to them, does it?

No, but, well, I
care about Louisa.

And, well, I care about...

Don't say you care
about me as well.

- You'll embarrass us both.
- Fair enough.

I just want to make sure
you really understand

what you're doing.

In sickness and
health. Better or worse.

- Of course I do.
- Okay.

Just had to check, you
know. I am giving her away.

"In loco parentis" and all that.

I have to ask.

If you do want to
make yourself helpful,

you can help me
choose these hymns.

Right, well, what sort
of thing were you after?

No idea. I haven't looked at a
hymnbook since I was at school.

Okay. Let's see.

Before the vows
are exchanged, uh...

"Praise, My Soul,
The King of Heaven."

And, uh, afterwards, "Love
Divine, All Loves Excelling."

♪ Love divine, all
loves excelling ♪

- ♪ Joy of heaven... ♪
- Yep, yep, yep, yep. Okay.

- You get the general idea.
- Yep.

- One more thing.
- Hmm?

Good luck, mate.

Bad news.

The council can't send
anyone to repair the water pipes

till tomorrow.

By tomorrow?

We'll need a boat to get
to the kitchen by then, boy.

What's the good news?

Uh, no, this isn't a
good-news/bad-news thing.

It's all bad.

Right.

That...

That should just
about hold her now.

I mean, we can't have
the reception here, can we?

- She could go again.
- Look at it.

I mean the whole
thing's a disaster, isn't it?

Unless...

You still got that mate
that does the carnivals?

What? Are you thinking
about a marquee?

Oh, I see what
you're thinking, boy.

I mean, it could
work. It might work.

It's just, have you any idea
how much those things cost?

And then you've got to
pay someone to put it up.

We do that, don't we? I mean,
that can't be too hard, can it?

As for the cost, well,
it's the doc's wedding.

And think of the publicity, Dad.

You know, the whole village
will be able to see what we can do.

"Large and Large
for every occasion."

It's a good idea, boy, isn't it?

I mean, "Large Restaurant
turns wedding disaster

into a perfect romance."

Not a dry eye in the house.

Nothing says romance like
a 20-foot-high circus tent.

I'll make the call.

Got ya!

Sorry about that.

Usually we try and keep the
takedown away from civvy street.

Of course you do.

Hello, Doc.

Charlie Briggs. We
met the other week.

Briggs' Bouquets. I'm
doing your wedding flowers.

You won't be doing
anything for a while, sunshine.

Caught him trying to steal a
bike outside the news agent's.

Not so fast on two
legs, though, are you?

I was gonna finish it
this morning, as well.

You'd have really loved it, Doc.

Really nice selection.
Very contemporary.

Save your sob stories
for the judge, Briggs.

Is that...

Yeah, its Briggs, the florist.
That could be a problem.

Very big problem.

A wedding without
flowers? That's very bad luck.

Well, thanks, Auntie Joan.

Well, I'll do my
best to sort it out.

- How are you bearing up?
- Fine.

- Martin.
- What?

Well, you've got a bit of a
twitch like when you were little

and didn't want me to
know that you'd wet the bed.

There's been a slight
misunderstanding with the vicar.

- What have you done?
- Nothing.

I'm gonna go and
see him. It'll be fine.

Yes, well, do. Can't have
a wedding without a vicar.

Well, technically, you can.

I've come for my suit.

Oh, I got it ready
for you here, Doc.

- What's wrong with your leg?
- This? Oh, I don't know.

It's been like this since
I woke up this morning.

Probably slept on it funny.

If it gets any worse,
come and see me.

- Not this afternoon though, eh?
- No.

That old St. Roger's Church.

It's got a lot of
memories, that place has.

Me and the missus
got married there.

Beautiful sunny day, like the
weather itself was blessing us.

Yes. My suit please?

Of course, after sun comes rain.

Pretty soon she's
criticizing everything I do,

trying to change me.

I said, "You knew what I
was like before we got married.

It's a bit late now to
change your mind, isn't it?"

Next thing I know, we're
staring at each other

across a divorce court.

Bitch got everything
apart from this shop.

I have to sleep behind a
bloody key-cutting machine.

Could I just have my
suit, please? Thank you.

Still, it's a great place to
get married, though, isn't it?

I want to speak to someone
you have in custody, please.

No can do, Mrs. Norton.

This is a police
station, not a hotel.

But I understand you have
apprehended the florist.

That's right.

What about the
flowers for the wedding?

Well, I think the safety of
the community comes first.

And I think that the community

has been remarkably
understanding

about your quirky ways
and your unusual methods.

And I think that you should
learn to be more flexible.

- I am flexible.
- No, you're not.

If you were, you'd
be more helpful.

You'd try and get the
key to the shop off him.

I can't. I've shipped
him off to Wadebridge.

We don't really have
the facilities here

for holding perps.

You don't think, um,

Martin will, you know,
hold me responsible?

It's his wedding day,
and thanks to you,

all the flowers for the wedding
are locked up in a shop.

No, no. I'm sure he won't
feel you're responsible.

- He was very rude to me.
- It's not rudeness.

It's just the way he is,
especially with work.

You should count yourself lucky

that he had time
to see you, Isobel.

I suppose my eye does
feel a little bit better.

And he was very professional.

I suppose he's a
totally different person

when he's away from
that stuffy surgery.

Oh, yeah, he's a total riot.

Oh, you know what? He
could be the godfather.

Oh, you two would
make perfect godparents.

Well, yeah, I could
certainly ask him.

Besides, this little one's real
dad isn't gonna be around.

And Martin's obviously
very important to you.

It would mean a lot,
Lou-Lou. It really would.

Look, I think it would be
easier if you did this yourself.

- Think you can manage that?
- Yeah.

We just dropped by to say

there's been a bit of a change
of venue for the reception.

What do you mean?

Well, don't worry, Louisa,
because if anything,

- this is gonna be better.
- Well, I do worry.

I wasn't even sold on
the idea in the first place.

You were the ones who
came to me, practically begging,

and promised you
wouldn't muck it up.

Well, so much for that.

Right, so where is it
gonna be now, then?

A leaky cowshed or an
abandoned coal mine?

Well, actually, it's a marquee.

And it's right
next to the church.

Oh.

Oh.

Well, that doesn't
sound too bad, actually.

Sorry, sorry. I'm
just a bit stressed.

♪ ... the bride ♪

♪ All dressed in... ♪

Mrs. Tishell.

Oh, Doc.

I-I didn't know you were here.

I was just getting
in a bit of practice,

you know, flexing
the old fingers.

I didn't know you played.

Oh, every Sunday,
come rain or shine.

Oh, I suppose there's a lot

we don't know about each other.

Sorry.

And it's funny, that, isn't it?

See each other every day,
passing like ships in the night.

Mrs. Tishell, I'm looking
for Reverend Counter.

What? You're not
having doubts, are you?

Having second thoughts? 'Cause
a bachelor life can be quite nice.

- Where is he?
- Oh, right.

Of course, Doc.
He's in his office.

Oh. Thank you.

But, Doc.

He's in one of his dark moods.

Good afternoon.

I, uh...

I brought that list of
hymns that you wanted.

How's your head?

Not too much
bruising. That's good.

Right. I will see
you this afternoon.

Give it to me.

No.

Drinking alone
and in the daytime

are symptoms of alcoholism.

Judging by the
redness of your palms,

I'd say that you'd already
done significant damage

to your liver.

May I remind you that
in under three hours

you are due to preside
over my wedding?

No! No, you can't
take that! It's mine.

- Just give it to me.
- How dare you?!

- Give it to me, come on.
- It's just a bottle.

I am not getting married in a...

It is my bottle of
whiskey! Aaah!

Ooh! Ohhhh!

Does it hurt?

'Course it hurts, you idiot!

- Here?
- Owwww!

Think you might have
fractured your hip.

Get me an ambulance, then.

What?

Maybe it's not as
bad as it seems.

Why don't you try to get up?

Just try and put weight on it.

Please! Please, no!
God! Oh, God, oh!

Bugger.

Louisa sent me down to make sure

the preparations at the
church were going okay.

If you don't have a vicar, then
you can't get married, can you?

I mean, you need a bride, a
groom, and a man in black.

- Shut up, Pauline.
- No, no, I'm just saying...

Which part of "shut up" are
you having difficulty with?

Okay. Fine. I was
gonna mention Mr. Porter,

but I suppose you're so
clever, you know all about him.

All right, who's Mr. Porter?

He used to be vicar
over at Delabole.

Very well-liked and respected,
till one day he flipped out,

in the middle of a wedding
service, so they say.

Since then he's been
holed up, on the moors.

Oh, right. It would
be too much to ask

for him to lead a
normal, healthy life.

Oh, no, he's not crazy.
He just hates weddings.

And people. He
might hate people, too.

Mrs. Norton?

Does Mr. Porter still live up at
the old Sparrowhawk Farmhouse?

Martin. Martin,
what have you done?

- I haven't done anything.
- Knobbled the vicar.

He suffered an intertrochanteric
hip fracture of his femur.

- Knobbled the vicar.
- I haven't!

Martin, you are due to
get married in two hours.

We've lost the vicar. I can't
find any substitute flowers.

It's gonna be a disaster.

Oh, stating the
obvious is really helpful.

I'm gonna go and
find this Mr. Parsons.

- Porter.
- Porter.

Always has to do
things the hard way.

Yeah, he's not the only one.

You get this stuff off the roof,

then we can start pegging
out the groundsheets.

Mrs. Norton?

The flowers are there,
sitting on the counter.

This is a disaster.

Not my primary concern.

No, that would be
the youth of today,

especially with all the
vandalism they're doing.

I mean, only today you
saw a group of hoodies

running away from the
florist's, whooping and yelling.

Disgusting.

What on earth are
you babbling about?

Vandalism, Mrs. Norton.

Senseless vandalism.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I have to go and write
up your statement.

What with their hoods up,

there's no way you could
make a positive I.D., is there?

Be a real shame

if they stole some order that
was waiting to be collected.

Thank you.

Change into your dress.

It's only five to 1:00.
There's over two hours.

If I was getting married,
I'd wear my wedding dress

all day long.

Well, you're not getting
married, are you?

Mrs. Tishell.

Just wanted to check
that everything was okay.

Everything's fine, thank you.

Oh.

Oh, good. 'Cause I was worried.

Thought it might mean the
wedding would be postponed.

No. What would mean?

The vicar.

Oh.

Dr. Ellingham didn't tell you.

Hello?

What's happened
to the vicar, Martin?

Ah.

"Ah" is not an answer.

Uh, he, uh, fractured his hip.

When were you planning
on telling me this?

When I arrived at the church
and there was no one to marry us?

Don't worry, Louisa. I have
the situation under control.

Martin, is there
something else behind this?

What do you mean?

Well... you know how they say

that people can
subconsciously ruin things.

The vicar was
drunk. It's not my fault.

Look, Louisa, trust me.

Everything will be fine.

- You sure?
- Yes.

I'll call you later. Bye-bye.

Got any ice?

What?

Ice. Crushed, cubed. Not fussy.

No.

Was a long shot
at best, I suppose.

I understand that you have
the power to marry people,

and I have a problem.

Please, this is very important.

I need to get married
this afternoon!

Hello?!

I'm willing to pay... whatever.

Look, if you could just give
me a minute of your time.

I'm Dr. Ellingham from Portwenn,

and... Aaah!

- Did you say "doctor"?
- Yes.

Well, that changes
everything. Come in, come in.

Thank you.

Wipe your feet.

So, how come our cheery
local vicar can't marry you, eh?

He's indisposed.

Right.

Was it the bottle?

I'm sorry. I can't discuss
a patient with you.

Oh, in other words, yes.

It happens.

Almost went that
way myself. Almost.

But now I have other interests

to keep me on the
straight and narrow.

Pigs?

Yes.

Fascinating creatures, really,

quite misrepresented,
in my opinion,

although you only need
to look at various facets

of ancient
cultures to realize...

I do have to get
married this afternoon,

and whilst I'm sure that
discussing the lifestyle of pigs

with you would be a
tremendous way to pass the...

Don't do that!

What?

You know fine well.

The superior act.

Sit down.

You're here because
you need me to marry you.

Be prudent of you to at
least pretend to be humble.

You want to guess how
many people I've married?

600?

Really?

Oh, that's a lot.

And so many times, I
knew they weren't suited,

that I was just sending them

further down the
road to unhappiness,

but do you think they
ever listened to me?

All right, I only
came here to find out

whether you'd preside
over my wedding.

I haven't got time
to sit there like a fool

whilst you catalog
your achievements.

Well, well, certainly got

a bit of spit and vinegar
in there, don't you?

Yes. I will preside
over your wedding.

Right.

But...

I need you to do
something for me first.

- That's a pig.
- Obviously.

- I'm not a vet.
- And I'm not an idiot.

Unfortunately, there
is no vet in Portwenn,

and the nearest one in
Delabole won't speak to me.

Blames me for not stopping
him marrying his third wife.

I tell him, "I'm not the judge.
I'm just the executioner."

But what can you do?

I-I-I cannot
examine that animal.

I'm not asking you to slice
her open and perform surgery.

Just... check 'round the back.

I'm sorry, no.

She's in pain.

I just need a medical opinion.

Or perhaps you think you're
too important for this kind of work.

Or maybe getting married
doesn't mean that much to you.

Oh, come on.

I'll keep her happy at the front

in case she takes offense
at what you're doing.

She has a slight
rectal prolapse.

In English.

Means that she's, uh, pushed
out part of the lining of her anus.

Ouch.

Yes.

So...

well, can't you just
push it back in again?

Look, I've looked at the
pig. That's all you asked.

I believe you said
"Willing to pay... whatever."

Well, Dr. Ellingham,

this is the "whatever"
part of the bargain.

Do you have any
Vaseline or K-Y Jelly?

You wouldn't want
to live in the surgery.

It's too small. Plus, it
smells funny sometimes.

Then again, it does have
a lovely view of the water.

And that kitchen would
be great for dinner parties.

The doctor regaling everyone
about tales of medical school.

We are talking about the
same person here, right?

I will concede

you might want a
bigger place for the kids.

- What kids?
- Well, I should imagine

they're planning on having
a family at some stage.

He'd be a wonderful father.

Yeah, I've always loved
that warm, caring side of him.

Oh, just shut up, will you?!

All day long running Martin
down like he's some kind of joke!

I-I didn't mean to...

No, I know exactly
what you mean.

Everyone has a snide little
comment or pithy advice

or complaints about what
kind of day they're having.

And for once, it's
not about any of you.

It's about Martin and me.

I need some air.

- I'll get my coat.
- Don't.

Tell me.

What's the most
important question

you should ask yourself
before getting married?

I have my finger
in your pig's anus.

You want me to help you.
Be an idea to humor me.

Does she make me happy?

Oh. Close.

Very close. Would
almost give you that.

Actually got it
the wrong way up.

It's, "Do I make her happy?"

End of the day,
that's all it's about.

Easy, girl.

What on earth are
you doing to her?

I'm trying to help!

I am trying to reinsert
the lining of her rectum.

Yeah, it's done!

Ah. Good show.
Well, I must say, Doc...

No, you mustn't. 3:00.
St. Roger's on the hill.

Uh, I'll see you there in
less than two hours, then.

What are you doing here?

I said I wanted to be on my own.

Yeah, I know that.
But we're bezzies.

"Bezzies"?

Best friends. I have
to be here for you.

Look, I-I don't
mean to annoy you.

It's just I'm jealous.

Jealous?

You've found someone
who makes you happy.

And who you make happy.

Well, yes.

See, I've always wanted that.

Everyone I've ever been
with, never been right.

Just thought, "Oh,
I'll try and settle,"

but you can't, can you?

Just end up with
two miserable people.

I'm the worst bridesmaid
in the world, aren't I?

No, you're not.

You're getting married
in a couple of hours,

and here am I, depressing
the God knows what out of you.

No. To be honest, I'm surprised

people haven't tried
to talk me out of this.

Now, why would they do that?

Well, it's a small village,
and everyone has an opinion.

And it did take Martin and
me a while to get together.

A considerable while.

And he's not the
warmest of people.

I suppose not everyone
can understand

what it is I see in him.

Oh, ignore them.

You're the one that knows what
goes on behind closed doors,

when it's just the two of you.

Everyone else can go and... Oh.

- Isobel.
- Oh, God. How embarrassing.

- Please tell me you haven't...
- Wet myself?

No, no. Your waters.
I think they just broke.

No.

Oh, no!

I can't believe
this is happening.

Right. Okay. Uh,
don't panic. Don't panic.

I'm gonna phone Martin, okay?

No, you can't.

Louisa?

Is she having contractions?

Right. Well, how
far apart are they?

I don't know.

He says, how far apart
are the contractions?

- I don't know.
- She doesn't know.

- I'm gonna tell her to push.
- No, no, no, no, no.

She pushes, it might
come before I can get there.

Don't let her push.
Tell her to pant.

- Pant?
- Yes. Like a dog.

Don't push. Pant.

- I have to push.
- Pant!

Oh!

Louisa, I'll be there
as soon as I can.

Yes. Hurry.

How is she?

- Fine.
- Not fine.

Well.. Right, we need to...

- Martin?
- Um...

Yes.

I can't have the
baby. I'm a bridesmaid!

Right.

You do know what
you're doing, don't you?

- Yes, theoretically.
- "Theoretically"?

I've never actually
delivered a baby before.

- Huh?!
- Oh.

Mrs. Brown, on
the next contraction,

I need you to push very hard.

Louisa, we need to
give her some support.

- Yes, I am.
- Physical support.

- Something to push against.
- Oh.

Honestly, I can't do this today

because I haven't completed
my birthing classes yet.

I'm afraid whether
you like it or not,

you're gonna have your baby now.

- No, I can't.
- You don't have much choice.

Push, Mrs. Brown, push.

I'm sorry I ruined
your wedding day.

You haven't!

The head is presenting. Could
you please be quiet and push?

Boy or a girl? Boy or a girl?

It's a head!

Now, on the next contraction, I
need you to push even harder.

- Okay.
- You're doing really well.

Thank you.

I was talking to Isobel.

Uh... yes.

Mrs. Brown, you're very
lucky that your baby is coming

as fast as it is.

On the next contraction, I
need you to push even harder.

Do you understand?

It's coming! Keep it coming!

Fingers. Toes.

- It's a boy.
- Oh!

- It's a girl!
- Oh!

It's a girl.

A little girl!

There you are. Support her head.

I got it. Here, about the bus.

Here we go.

- Take loads of photos.
- Yeah, I will.

And you have asked him, haven't
you? About being the godfather?

Uh...

Well...

Uh... I-I mean, yes.

- Good luck!
- Yeah.

And thank you.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Don't worry. I'll make
an excuse for you.

What for?

You don't have to
be the godfather.

Uh, yes, um... Thank you.

Right.

Half past 2:00.

Yes, I need to change my suit.

Mm, and I'd better...

Yeah, your wedding
dress. Yes. After you.

Yes, see you later.

Hi, there.

Any luck getting the
replacement flowers?

Uh, yes, we...

We had some unexpected help.

- Hello.
- Hello.

How's things? Good.

Here we have the
pièce de résistance.

Whoops. There.

Now, might have cost us an
arm and a leg, boy, but we done it.

Yeah.

Well, the doc's gonna be happy.

I don't know if he does "happy,"

but at least he not
gonna shout at us.

And we might get a few
more catering gigs after this,

- so it's a risk worth taking.
- Well, come on.

Right, boy.

We got 15 minutes
before the big kickoff.

I hope they've saved
us some front-row seats.

Should have got
some popcorn, eh?

Now, remember, what
do you say to the guests

when they come
out of the reception?

If they liked the wedding, then
don't forget who made it happen.

Large and Large.

It's worth it, boy, 'cause
this is a new start for us.

Expansion.

There's a world out
there of functions,

and they all need
excellent caterers.

It's only one wedding, Dad.
Let's not get too carried away.

Little acorns,
boy. Little acorns.

Oh, bollocks.

- Hello.
- Hi.

- Hello.
- Hello.

Uh, Bert, what are you going
to do about that mess out there?

Mrs. Norton, I
cannot tell a lie.

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Excuse me.

He's a little upset.

We are seriously out of pocket

on this whole
wedding-reception thing.

Not, I imagine, as upset
as Martin and Louisa will be.

Well, that's okay, 'cause I've
rung the Crab and Lobster.

They're gonna do some sandwiches
and a nice bottle of bubbly.

So everything's sorted.

Oh, and, um...

Well, if you ever need
any plumbing, just phone.

Once more unto the
breach, dear friends.

Better than nothing.

Arguably.

But with only 10 minutes
to go, we don't a choice.

Sorry.

Martin.

Louisa.

What are you doing here?

What are you doing here?

I didn't want to
use the front door.

It says that I love you.

And I really do.

But...

I know.

I wouldn't make you happy.

No.

You wouldn't make
me happy, either.

Oh. Right.

No, I don't suppose I would.

Is that why you're
still here, then?

What?

Sorry, Martin, I'm
just a bit confused.

Um, uh...

I thought if I just
sat there and...

It would be in
your best interests.

Humiliating me as I
stood in the church alone

would be in my best
interests, would it?

Well, you weren't
going to be in the church.

At least I had the decency
to write you a letter.

- That's not the point.
- Doc!

Oh, I'm too late.

I thought I'd catch you
before the big event.

There's been a bit of a
mix up in your dry-cleaning.

I hope it went well.

I don't suppose...

Only you did say
if it got any worse...

And I can barely walk now
after hurrying up that hill...

If you don't mind...

And then you two can get
on with your honeymoon.

I'll leave you to it.

I wouldn't ask today of
all days, but since I'm here,

and now you've got the
ceremony out the way.

Louisa.

I know.

Me too.

See you around.

Sorry, Doc, I know
it's a bit inconvenient,

like, but it is starting
to hurt really badly now.

She's not leaving
you already, is she?

I hope you've done a
prenup is all I can say.

Shut up.

Go and wait in the
consulting room.

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