Divorce (2016–…): Season 2, Episode 7 - Going, Going... Gone - full transcript

Our 16-year-old son, Tom,
has recently become
sexually active.
-Oh, hi, Robert.
-Ah!
Ella said that you
went over there
and told her to stay away
from your son.
She is my daughter.
I don't know, maybe I am
better off on my own.
We were here all night working,
and then we figured,
might as well stay
and watch the sunrise.
Like a cute little indie movie,
the two of you.
Hey Frances,
how's Andrew doing?
He's not a boyfriend.
We are just casual.
- Mom?
- Oh, my God!
It was nice meeting you.
Maybe next time
you'll have your fly up.
Oh--
I'm not very good at
letting someone into my life.
I really like you, Robbie.
I like you, too.
This thing...
It's not so bad, is it?
Not so bad at all.
Wow, dating
since high school.
That's kind of amazing.
Thank you.
Well, we broke up
for a few years in there.
- Well, sure.
- We both had some
growing up to do.
'Course, her version
of growing up
was sleeping
with our contractor.
Well, that's awful.
Yeah. I should have
seen it coming.
That's kind of
an awkward skeleton
to bring up
in the middle
of a cocktail party.
- I've heard worse.
- What about you?
What was the nail
in your marriage?
Oh, uh...
you know...
we grew apart.
Typical story.
- Hmm.
- Shall we browse?
$60,000?
Jesus,
that's a lot of money
for some dead socialite's
hairbrush.
Okay.
- Oh, God.
- Oh, no, no, no.
Listen, Astrid Mayberry
was one of the original...
...New York City
socialites.
The real deal
with a very famous
art collection.
So what you're
seeing here today
are, like,
perfect little pieces
of history.
Now this--
see, this is cool
right here.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God,
11-- 11:00.
Look, look, look, look,
look, look, look.
Skip, Skip Zakarian.
- Yeah, that's the big--
- You know him?
- The gallery owner guy,
right?
- Yeah.
Okay. All right.
Time for some, um...
shameless self-promotion.
- Get in there.
- All right, look away.
This will not be pretty.
- Wow, it's exquisite.
- Mm-hmm.
The brass
with those rubies.
- Edw-- is it Edwardian?
- Definitely.
- Yeah.
- If I had to guess, I'd say
it was Imperial Russian.
Oh, yeah.
Mr.-- Mr. Zakarian?
Hi, I've-- I've wanted
to meet you
for a very,
very long time.
I'm Frances Everdell.
- It's Skip.
Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
I can just, very quickly,
just share with you.
When I was--
when I was 25,
I had a sort of
quarter-life crisis.
I know, it's very silly,
but I wandered
into your gallery
when it was teeny-tiny
on Broome Street,
and I just felt like
I could breathe again.
- So, thank you.
- Thank you.
You realize that space
is now a Forever 21.
Oh. God, poor SoHo.
Anyway,
I now own a small gallery
with contemporary work,
and we are having
an opening on Thursday, and...
if your schedule allowed,
I would be so honored--
Thursday
I have a board meeting
for the Whitney.
It should only take
six to eight hours.
Ladies and gentlemen,
the auction preview
will close in five minutes.
Please take your seats
in the main gallery.
- Good luck in there.
- Oh, thank you.
You, too. You, too.
And bye-bye.
We have to close
the sale today.
We are so close.
- What's that smell?
- Apple pie.
The smell drives
the price up 7-10%.
No, no, no, no, no.
Back away from the pie.
Over here.
Bring your nostrils
into this corridor.
It's like right in here.
There's like a...
a stink stream
right through here.
- Got that?
- Oh.
Oh, shit, what is that?
Yeah, the stink
is intensifying up here.
Oh, man.
Okay, found it.
- Whew.
- Oh, God!
- What is that?
- It's either
a bloated raccoon
or the neighbor's cat.
Either way, it's deceased.
Shit.
Okay, look.
You deal with the buyer,
I'll dispose
of the dead body.
Okay.
Let's do this.
I keep Febreze
in my trunk.
All right.
- Coming!
- All right, motherfucker.
Hi, Katie.
Welcome back.
Come on in.
And you brought
your mom.
Hi, I'm Jackie.
It's lovely to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
- Come on in.
"Girls in a Field"
goes for $170,000.
Too rich for my blood.
The next piece
is item number 152.
One of Ms. Mayberry's
most cherished pieces.
A one-of-a-kind
magnifying glass
dated 1910
Imperial Russia.
Brass with turquoise,
rubies, and crystal inlay.
Sylvia would love that.
All right,
here goes nothing.
And we start
the bidding at $750.
- Yes!
- I see $750.
Do I see $1,500?
I see $1,500.
Do I see $2,000?
Well, I'm out.
Yeah, of course.
- Thanks a lot, Skip.
- $2,000.
How about $2,500?
- What are you doing?
- I'm bidding.
- I see $2,500. $3,000?
- You're insane.
What are you doing?
Do I see $3,000?
$3,000?
- I see $3,000.
- Wow.
How about $3,500?
$3,500? Anyone?
- For a brass with rubies
magnifying glass going...
- Do not, do not, do not.
...going... gone.
And the magnifying glass
goes for $3,000.
Fuck. What are you
grinning at, dumbass?
And is this
the master bedroom
down here?
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Slow down, Mama.
Who's running this tour?
Me. Actually,
why don't we come look
in the guest room?
There's beautiful lighting
this time of day.
Come on.
There we go.
And last, but not least,
the master bathroom.
Hello, sorry I'm late.
- Oh. Hi.
- Robert DuFresne.
Nice to see you.
Hello.
I'm glad you made it.
Look at this
gorgeous bathroom.
Yeah, I wish I could
take credit for it.
- Take it easy!
- Thank you so much.
Thank you!
Thank you.
- Oh, my God,
we did it.
- Yeah.
35 over asking.
Boom, sold.
Mwah!
- We are so good at this.
- Yeah.
What, you mean
disposing dead animals?
No, ha.
Flipping houses.
Robbie, we should keep
doing this.
We should team up.
What do you think? Huh?
Wait. Wait, wait.
We're already teamed up.
We just sold
three in a row
with the help
of a third-party raccoon.
No, we should, I mean,
officially do business.
I buy the houses
and you design and renovate,
and we turn a tidy profit.
Oh, my God. Yes.
What do you say?
Are you kind of,
like, scared,
but also
a teeny bit excited?
- Come on.
Put them up.
- Hmm.
- Put them up.
- I don't know.
- You know you--
- What you're doing
is really annoying, so.
But, uh...
I don't know.
Hate to say it,
but I do like it.
Oh, we have to give Rocky
a proper burial.
I feel very strongly
about that.
- We?
- Yeah, you.
What, me?
We're gonna--
I'm gonna bury
the raccoon?
Meet the ball early,
folks.
Oh.
- Dallas!
- Easy does it.
Pick up the balls
and see you next week.
I meant to do that.
Yeah?
Then great shot.
Well, I wish
I had your serve.
Thanks.
I've been working
like a dog on it.
Um, you know,
just an idea--
you wouldn't want to get
an iced tea after this,
would you?
Why? Did you have
other questions about
your membership?
No, no, just to, um,
cool off, chat,
get to know
each other, and...
Oh. Um, yeah,
I would like that.
Um, I can't today,
though.
- Can we do it next week?
- Sure. Um...
I mean, I could pretend
to look at my schedule,
but I'm just gonna--
I'm just gonna go ahead
and say that I'm free.
- Cool.
- Cool.
- All right, well...
- All right. Yeah.
Okay, wine glass rental--
check, right?
What time
are the caterers
coming to set up?
- Tomorrow at 2:00.
- Tomorrow at 2:00...
Oh, I've gotta--
I've gotta decide
how to cover the Pelts.
- Wait, what?
- I know this is
a touchy subject between us,
but Sylvia and I would
just feel more comfortable
if it's covered
for the opening.
It's not personal, Diane,
it's just that's--
it's just not part
of Sylvia's work, you know?
Oh, hey, Travis.
- Package for you.
- Ah, thank you.
- There you go.
- Thank you.
- Thanks. See you soon.
- Yeah.
So you want
to cover the Pelts,
the one thing
that's been
our biggest,
most consistent draw
since we opened?
Sure, I'll just see
if a TaskRabbit
can come whip up
a mile-wide tarp.
- Oh, my God.
- What is that?
It's a piece...
from the Mayberry estate
that I bid on and lost...
to Skip Zakarian.
Skip Zakarian
sent that to you?
- Yes.
- Oh, my God, I love Skip.
Do you know that I went
to the Bahamas with him once
for Thanksgiving?
That's really weird,
isn't it?
Yeah, steel drums
and turkey on the beach.
Not exactly what
the Pilgrims had in mind,
that's for sure.
No, I mean,
should I accept it?
Yes! Yes, Frances.
Are you kidding me?
He's obviously
flirting with you.
- He's so dashing.
- I don't know about that.
You're not going steady
with Andrew, are you?
No, Patty Duke, I don't--
I don't think I am.
Well, what you need
to do, Frances,
is write
your new friend Skip
a little thank-you note
and stay on his good side.
I mean, it can
only help the gallery
for you to be
on his radar.
God, it's beautiful,
isn't it?
It is.
I mean, that Pelts
was the only reason
we've had any foot traffic
in that gallery since we opened.
- Plain and simple.
- This one got a nice write-up
in "Food & Wine."
Oh, please,
who are they kidding?
Nonalcoholic wines
are bullshit.
Let's get out
of here, honey.
Okay. Good.
I just gotta grab
one more thing.
- I'll meet you up front.
- Okay, don't take too long.
Frances?
Oh.
Oh, my God.
Did you just think
I was Frances?
Yes, I did, but...
these glasses-- I--
these are shitty glasses.
- They don't--
they don't work.
- It's okay.
I actually take it
as a compliment.
- Hey, Nick.
- Hey.
It's like rush hour
in here.
I don't know
if these are any good.
You have many strengths,
but choosing wine
is not one of them.
I'll be right back.
- What?
- Man, do you have a type.
- Excuse me?
- You like your women
blond and strong.
No shrinking violets
for you.
You talking
Jackie and Frances?
Oh, come on.
They don't have
anything in common.
They're practically
different species.
There's nothing wrong
with having a type.
Diane and Carolyn
are both big talkers.
They could play
each other's body doubles.
Well, Carolyn's hips
are wider
'cause of the kids,
you know.
Nick, I don't see
any resemblance,
physical or otherwise.
Okay. Hey,
maybe it's just me.
- Okay.
- Ready when you are.
You know what?
I think I'm still gonna get
the ones that I liked.
Later, Nick.
Good to see you.
Hey, here's the plan.
So, we stop
at the gallery.
One drink.
Avoid talking
to anybody,
and then
we'll go have supper
at Rancho Grande.
Sold. Oh, and just
to get things started
on our company,
I talked to my lawyer.
She's going to work
on an agreement.
Wait, whoa.
You talked to your lawyer?
Why wasn't I on that call?
Because it's all
just boilerplate.
Yeah, "boilerplate"
is code speak
for "you're gonna
get fucked."
I'll get
my own lawyer, thanks.
Why? That's
a complete waste of money.
Because I have
to protect myself.
From what?
This isn't
your divorce, Robbie.
It's a real estate deal.
Yeah, and the deal's
not gonna work
if you and your lawyer
are calling all the shots.
Since when am I calling
all the shots?
Hey, what's going on
with you?
Just trying to be smart.
Just trying to stay
ahead of it, Jackie, okay?
Like I always say,
"You can't be too careful."
You've never said that.
Hey, before I lose you
to the masses...
stay right here.
This was, um--
this was owned
by Astrid Mayberry.
It's a very long story,
but I thought you would
love it.
- Frances, no way.
- Yes way.
It's gorgeous.
I'm an asshole.
I have nothing for you.
Are you kidding me?
Look around.
You-- you have
given me more than
you will ever know.
Thank you.
Okay, go.
Go, go, go.
Don't do that. Go.
Oh, God, I'm so nervous.
I'm so nervous,
I don't know if I should,
like, just drink massive
amounts or none at all.
Listen, that prick
from the auction, he's here.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God!
This time you gotta
introduce me.
Okay.
Hello, welcome!
- Welcome.
- Hi.
I don't know
if your presence--
does that mean it was, like,
the shortest board meeting
in Whitney history?
- It means I played hooky.
- Oh, shh.
- Well, lucky us.
- Andrew Wallace, hi.
- Nice to meet you.
- Oh, I'm so sorry. Andrew.
- This is Andrew.
- You must be enjoying
that magnifying glass.
You win some,
you lose some.
- Yeah.
- It's a charming place
you have here.
Thank you, thank you.
And I'll introduce you
to the artist.
I'm sure she would love
to hear any pearls of wisdom
that you would care
to share with her.
- Certainly. I'll--
I'll take a look around.
- Okay.
"Pearls of wisdom"?
Good Lord.
Do you ever just hate
the sound of your own voice?
I can't say
that I do, actually.
Oh. Well, then I guess
it's just me.
Well, it's the belle
of the ball.
- Hey, hey, you two. Hi.
- Hi.
- Do you remember Andrew?
- Good to see you again.
Nice to see you as well.
And might I add,
clothes on,
- zipper up, good look.
- Yes.
This is
my girlfriend, Jackie.
- Hi. Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
Congratulations, Frances.
The work is stunning.
Oh, thank you, thank you.
It's been-- it's been
a stressful couple of weeks.
- I mean, you know.
- And you have done great...
- Thank you.
You've been a...
- ...dealing with it.
We sold another house.
- Oh, wow!
- It's what we do.
- Congratulations.
- Another one. Thanks.
- Great news.
- Fantastic.
So, yay all around.
Yay!
- So, I think
I'm ready for that drink.
- I am, too.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Okay, good talk.
Okay, bar's over here.
- Sold!
- Love it.
Boom!
I think you got
a really good piece.
I don't know,
but if you also want
one of these--
- Yeah? Oh, one sec.
- It's quite a turnout.
Oh, thanks.
Yeah, thanks.
And again, thank you
for the magnifying glass.
It was incredibly generous
and very thoughtful.
Thank you
for the thank-you note.
And thank you
for making the trip
all the way up here.
You're welcome,
but if you want
to see me again,
- you'll have to come
into the city.
- Duly noted.
Can I take you out
for dinner sometime?
They have
some wonderful restaurants
in New York now.
Well, uh, thank you.
Thank you.
It's a very lovely
invitation,
but I would-- I would
feel impolite accepting
when I'm-- I'm here
with someone else.
Oh.
That Andrew fellow?
Wow. Too bad.
Good luck.
Ay. Oh, hey.
Uh, I've been
floating around all night.
- I don't want you
to feel neglected.
- Don't worry about it.
- Do your thing.
- Okay.
Just looking for--
oh, there she is.
- Hello. Hi.
- We just sold Lucius.
- What?
- Mm-hmm.
Ugh.
Get a room.
Why did I even bother
showing up tonight?
- I'm a vapor.
- That's it.
I've had it.
Nick, what are you doing?
- Shh, shh, shh.
- Nick!
Hi, everyone.
Nick Clavowen,
friend of the gallery.
I-- I know
Frances and Sylvia
are grateful to all of you
for coming out tonight.
I just wanted to mention
one other person--
she doesn't like
to grab the spotlight--
who was indispensable
to tonight's proceedings--
my wife,
Diane Clavowen.
Aw!
Without Diane...
this masterpiece...
...by Eliot Pelts
would never have been
loaned to the gallery.
Man, it looks like
a toilet monster.
Sadly, after tonight,
the Pelts will be leaving
for another home.
- Huh?
- Ours.
- What?
- Purchased
from Brett Morris.
Just a little surprise
from me to you.
- One more way to say,
"I love you, Diane."
Aw.
Nick.
- Halle-fucking-lujah.
- Yeah, this is a win-win.
You should be crying
and thanking him, too.
Ted?
Oh, my God, hi.
Didn't recognize you
without your visor.
- What are you doing here?
- Well, this is
my best friend's gallery.
- Oh.
- You?
I was having dinner
two doors down
and saw the free wine
was happening, so...
Hey, they were out
of the shrimp, so...
Melinda, this is Dallas
from tennis that I was
telling you about.
Oh, yes.
Hi.
- How are you?
- I'm good, good.
How do you two
know each other?
- Well...
- Uh, funny story.
Melinda is
my soon-to-be ex-wife.
Ooh, I like that.
I'm gonna steal that.
- I'm sorry, what?
- The-- the red tape
from our divorce
is literally lasting longer
than the actual marriage.
Yeah, let's just say
we work better as friends.
Well, I'm gonna grab
another drink.
- Does anyone need anything?
- I'm good.
- I'm good, thank you.
- Okay.
- That looks like
a good drink.
- Oh, it is.
I would have
ordered you one,
except I thought
you'd wanna represent
your own drink choice.
So that's how
it's gonna be?
It's not just
that I'm old enough
to be your mother...
- No, you're not.
- No, you're right, I'm not.
That was a test,
but, um...
I'm a therapist
who treats a lot of people
who are separated
and really conflicted.
It's because
people like me and Melinda
who aren't conflicted
don't go into therapy.
Look, I know it's weird
that we're still friends,
but it's completely
platonic.
So, what I'm hearing
is you've never been
in therapy.
- What?
- "What"?
Yeah.
You're obviously upset.
So, what, you're just--
you're gonna fester
for some period of time
and then a week from now
bite my head off,
and all of it because
I wanna get a lawyer.
Dude, I will bite
your head off right now.
I don't care
that you want a lawyer.
Hire a whole team.
Go nuts.
Well, what is
your fucking problem?
You're the one
with a problem.
You're picking a fight,
and none of this
is about me.
It's about Frances.
So, why don't you call me
when you wanna
fight with me?
So I'm walking home?
- Hey.
- Hey.
Why don't we call it
a night and go celebrate
at your place?
Robert's got the kids
tonight, right?
Uh, no.
I mean, um,
they're spending
the night
at a friend's house,
but... you go.
You go.
Save yourself.
I'll, um-- we'll check in
tomorrow, okay?
Uh, what's going on?
Did I do something wrong?
No, that's not--
not it.
Uh, I'm just not sure
that, um...
that this
is such a good idea.
Oh. Well,
there's a curveball.
Can I ask why?
Well-- and I--
this is silly, I know,
but earlier tonight,
somebody asked me out,
and I'll be honest,
I was tempted.
And I know that
we're not serious
or even exclusive, but I--
I felt guilty, which...
you know,
I know it's crazy.
I get it.
I never should've told you
about my ex's affair.
No. No, I-- I--
really, I appreciated
your honesty.
What I couldn't admit
is that
I was actually
the unfaithful one
in my marriage.
I'm not proud.
Well, you lied to me
about that.
Well, yes, I--
I guess yes.
It-- it was a lie
by omission.
No, it was a lie.
You lied.
And you cheated,
apparently.
I'm-- I'm trying
to be honest.
I didn't even have
to bring this up.
Okay. Mm-hmm.
Listen, maybe this is
for the best.
I mean,
you said it yourself
the night we met.
- It's too soon for me
to be getting involved.
- Yeah, no, I remember.
I think my exact words were
you were a walking disaster,
so maybe I should take
comfort in the fact
that my instincts
were right.
You have every right
to be mad, but you--
- you don't have
to, like, attack--
- Do I have a right to be mad?
Thanks, Frances.
Thanks, that's really
generous of you.
Wow.
Wow, uh...
I don't really know
how else to say this,
but you're
the walking disaster,
not me.
You got
the walking part right.
- Frances.
- Hey.
Oh, I'm so glad
you thought to do this.
- We have to celebrate.
- I know. What a night, right?
- Yeah. Excuse me, sir?
- Yes?
Can we get, um--
can we get two glasses
of champagne, please?
- Sure.
- Thank you.
I don't know about you,
I'm not typically
a day drinker.
However, I think
we've earned it.
- We have.
- Hi!
Hey.
What are you doing?
I'm burying
this fucking raccoon.
Been stinking up my truck
for the last three days.
I can't do it
at my apartment.
It's a rental.
Probably violate
the health code.
Get right in there.
That's good.
I gotta say...
no one has ever buried
a dead body for me before.
Yeah, it's a first
for me, too.
- Oh, thank you.
- You're welcome.
Here you go, sir.
Oh, no, I wanted
to treat you.
No, don't be silly.
I'm very happy to.
- Okay, well, thank you.
- You're very welcome.
Actually...
there's one more thing.
Oh, okay.
God, I just got nervous.
No, don't be.
Okay, so, Skip Zakarian
has offered me--
you know Skip Zakarian?
- Of course.
- He wants to rep me.
Like, exclusively.
Starting with
a big-ass SoHo show
at his gallery here
in the city.
I know, it's crazy.
I'm freaking out.
What?
Say something.
And, um--
and you have--
have you--
you've accepted his offer?
Well, yeah, sure.
You understand this means
that we won't be
working together anymore.
- You and I.
- I know, it sucks, but--
- But?
- This is a really big deal.
I thought you'd be
happy for me.
No, I am, I am.
I'm just also stunned,
you know?
Because I-- I mean,
I know we didn't have--
um, we didn't have
a formal agreement,
but, um, I did think that
we had an understanding.
You know, I mean,
we've been talking
about your next show.
We have-- we have been
talking about your future.
And now...
and now you--
I what?
You didn't even
have the decency
to tell me
that you were having
this conversation with Skip
so that I could
at least, like, try
to compete for you.
You weren't even
finishing your paintings
when I met you.
Yeah, but then
I finished them.
Yes, and I scraped
this show together
with spit and blood.
We sold every single piece.
- That's, like, just--
that's unheard of.
- Yeah, you're right.
If it weren't for you,
I'd still be at the bank.
But get real.
If you were in my shoes,
you'd do the same thing.
Really, get real?
You get real.
You waited the whole meal
to give me
this bit of information
because you knew
it was going to be awful.
Okay, but it doesn't
have to be.
It's not personal,
Frances.
It's not personal?
Okay, you know what?
I don't need the guilt trip.
Thanks for everything.
I'm done here.
Here.
Keep this for yourself.
Robert and Jackie want to take
the kids to Europe this summer.
If I had kids, all I'd want
is a long break from them.
Your real estate partnership
is finalized.
You are now a corporation.
I'm like training wheels.
I get them started,
give 'em a little shove,
and then they ride off
without me.
How do you sleep at night?
We could discuss
working together.
I may have
gotten totally drunk.
I may have side-swiped
some cars.
My only friend that night
was the bottle.
I mean,
that's a little dramatic.
Do you ever wonder,
what if we met each other now?