Divorce (2016–…): Season 1, Episode 8 - Church - full transcript

(music playing)

♪ Well, I'm-a sittin'
down in San Antone ♪

♪ Waitin' on an 8:00 train... ♪

Ugh.

- ♪ My woman left me here last night... ♪
- Gross.

♪ Things ain't been
quite the same ♪

♪ I gotta get back to Dallas ♪

♪ And tie up a few loose ends ♪

♪ I'm gonna work a week,
make a hundred dollars ♪

♪ Aw, and hit the road again ♪

♪ So, I don't want
you to think ♪



♪ That you're the first one ♪

♪ To leave me out
here on my own ♪

♪ 'Cause this ain't
gonna be the first time ♪

♪ This ole cowboy spent
the night alone... ♪

- Woman: Frances.
- (gasps)

- Hey!
- Hey!

- Hi.
- Hi.

Thank you for inviting me.

Well, I thought this is the
most fun way to talk shop, right?

- Yeah, yeah.
- Thank you for helping us fill this position.

I want to introduce you to Emmett Schabb.

He's one of our Vice Chairmen.

Yeah, no, I... I know who Emmett Schabb is.

We throw quite a few of these every year,



and the job of organizing
them is fairly intense.

- Yeah.
- That's why our events coordinator is VP-level.

I mean, we need the absolute
best, and we pay accordingly.

I see. Oh, wow! That Lucian
Freud is one of my favorites.

You know, that's the only
self-portrait he did with his children?

And then he, um... (chuckles)

he stuffed them in the
corner as like a... as a joke.

- That's right. Good eye.
- Thank you.

So, the position is front-facing.

We need a people person
with great contacts.

Yeah, you need investors, you need
branding executives, you need PR reps.

No, I... I know a bunch of those.

But we also like our executives to
have an art background with taste.

I mean, someone like you
would actually be great.

We need to fill the
position in two months,

so once you put together a
short list of candidates,

I'll premeet them and
then Emmett will...

I'd like to be considered.

Sorry?

Well, I... I mean, I don't
want to, uh, sound immodest,

but I actually think I would
be really great for this job.

I mean, my whole career
is built on my contacts.

I... you know, art is...

is really, in fact, indeed my true passion.

I'm about to open a gallery in Hastings.

- Really?
- Aren't you still full-time at Chapman-Tyler?

No, yeah, I am, but, again, you know,

executive placement isn't
exactly, like, my real passion.

So, if it's... if it's not crazy,

I really would like very, very much

to be seriously considered as a candidate.

And I will put myself up against
the very best that I can find.

Well, it's certainly crazy, but I like it.

- All right.
- Send in your CV. Excuse me.

Okay.

Oh, my God.

I think I'm clean now, Diane.

Are you? Are you really clean?

I don't think so.

- What about this?
- Oh!

- (chuckles)
- See, this is dirty.

Yes. Hey, that's enough.

That's... it's... that's
as clean as it gets.

It's so dirty.

So dirty.

Mm.

You know, these last few weeks,

you taking care of me like this,

it's made me think.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

It makes me think you
would make such a great mom.

- What?
- Really.

You're a natural caretaker.

Yeah, but this is obviously very different.

I mean, you're an adult man
and I just grabbed your dick.

That's not, like, the kind
of thing you do to a baby.

Well, you always wanted to adopt.

We talked about it a lot.

Maybe we should think about it.

This could really be the right time.

Yeah, but I don't know.

It just kind of seems like we're doing
fine just... just on our own, you know?

And remember the last
time I brought up adoption?

You said that all adopted babies
have fetal alcohol syndrome

or the Asian ones all become
goth when they grow up.

A lot's happened since then.

I think about things a
little differently now.

I mean, an experience like the one I had

really gives you clarity.

It gives you some perspective.

Of course, of course.

I just feel busy now
taking care of you and...

Yeah, but I'm fine.

You could take that energy

and put it toward a baby
instead of an adult man.

Mm-hmm.

A little, fat baby. (chuckles)

I mean, what do you think?

- Are you kidding me?
- (Dallas laughs)

- Are you serious?
- What? What?

Oh, my God! Thank you.

- Okay, yeah!
- What happened?

- Okay, thank you. Bye.
- Come on, what happened?

What is it?

It's not official yet, but they're...

they're putting together an offer for me.

- Yes! Yes, yes, yes.
- Wow, wow.

- Fantastic! Congratulations.
- Thank you. I know!

I finally get to work in a field
that I really wanna work in,

- that I'd actually enjoy.
- Mm-hmm.

- I mean, you know.
- Yep.

I mean, I don't wanna get
my hopes too high, you know?

Something could fall through,
but it's a good sign, right?

Is that Robert?

- Hmm?
- Robert.

Is that a church?

What, is... is he getting a car wash?

No, it looks like he just got out

and he's talking to the Father guy.

- This is my daughter Lila.
- Dallas: Wow, look at that outfit.

It's actually not horrible.

What is going on?

I don't know.

Robert doesn't go to church.

And he brought the kids?

Why aren't they crying? I don't understand.

- Oh!
- Oh, oh!

Frances: He's leaving. Okay, good.

What if they're going to another church?

(line ringing)

- Robert: Yello?
- Hey.

Hey! How's every little
thing with you today?

Just, uh, you know, wanna
see how the kids are.

See if, you know, you guys did
anything special today or...

Oh, man, every day is special with my guys.

We started off with a big breakfast
at this Mexican diner I found,

then did a little bit of sightseeing.

- And then we hit church.
- You... you hit what?

Church. We hit church.

We met this guy from the FBI named Jim,

and now we're at the archery range.

- Since when do you go to...
- Wait, hang on a second.

Tom, tell your mom about your bull's-eye.

- Oh, yeah.
- Tell your mom about your bull's-eye.

Yeah, it was pretty cool!
I almost got two, actually.

- It's a lot harder than it looks.
- Really?

- That's great, sweetie.
- Yeah, I mean, 'cause the instinct

is to hold your breath when you shoot,

but you actually have to
breathe through the whole thing.

That's right, that's
right. Just like an Indian.

Oh, that's super cool.

Uh, so, what's the... what's the deal

with you guys going to church today?

Was... was there, like, a...

like, a kid's band

or a charity sale or something?

No, it was just Reverend
Mike doing the benediction.

The benediction?

Yeah. I mean, it was pretty fun.

Does your dad go a lot,

you know, to... to church?

Is he a regular at church?

- Lila: Go!
- Robert: Whoo!

- Oh, shit! Nice.
- Look! That's awesome!

- Oh, I gotta go. Bye.
- Wait! Tom! Tom!

Reverend Mike?

What the fuck?

That is so good. If you
hit that consistently,

you would be on the Olympic team.

Okay? Tom, come check this out.

Look at that. She got it right in the
blue just barely outside of the red.

Lila, that is so outstanding.
You're like Ted Nugent.

- (chuckles)
- Look, if I needed you to, do you think you could kill?

Yeah, maybe!

I mean, I got six bull's-eyes in gym class

when we did the archery unit.

That is outstanding! You're
excelling at something.

That's awesome! What about you, buddy?

What are you rocking at school lately?

I got an A-plus in my reptile project

about nonvenomous snakes.

That's amazing!

I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud.

Come on. Let me just hug
you, just for a second.

I know it's not cool, but, you know, I...

Dad, are you okay?

I'm super okay!

I really am. Hey, I just had a great idea.

- What about hot milkshakes?
- (gasps) Yes!

- Hot milkshakes, right?
- Yes, yes, yes, yes!

- Milkshake bear! Arr!
- (screams)

Milkshake bear!

- Milkshake bear! Milkshake bear!
- (Lila giggles)

Hello?

Robert: Yep, in here!

(electricity buzzing)

- What's going on?
- Look.

Look, she's basking. (chuckles)

Oh, no, no, no, no. No, no, no.

- Mom, she's nonvenomous.
- No, I don't care.

Take... take it back to
wherever it came from.

She was so sad at the
store. Her cage was tiny.

And her friend was dead.

Well, I'm sorry about her friend,

but, well, then go have her
live at your father's house.

No, she should stay here with the kids
so they can learn how to take care of her.

I mean, this little lady starts to molt,

they might have to help her with her skin.

Robert, you can't keep making
these unilateral decisions

that affect all of us.

Do you have any idea
what it... what it takes

to, you know, care for a snake?

Yeah, I got this pamphlet... "How
to Take Care of Your Pet Snake."

I'm not asking you, I'm asking Tom.

I mean, you give it food and water,

and you have to make
sure it doesn't escape.

No, guys. This is... this is

it's an ill-conce... unworkable plan,

and I... I already have ideas
for this room, all right?

And it didn't include
turning it into a snake pit.

Yeah, I noticed you moved
out all my office stuff.

Tom, Tom! It's okay, it's okay.
We're not fighting. It's okay.

- And I'm not mad at you. You're not the adult.
- No, no, it's... I get that.

- I just have to get my stuff so I can go over to Kevin's.
- Oh, okay.

Okay.

Ah, man, a lot of memories in here.

What are you gonna do with this room?

Listen, if we're gonna co-parent

or I don't know... whatever
we're gonna call it...

then we have to start making
these decisions together.

- Okay?
- You're right.

And I'm... I'm getting all
of my books out of storage

and I'm gonna make this like a... you
know, making it like a reading room.

A reading room! That's outstanding.

That sounds really cozy.

You gonna put a fireplace in here?

- What's going on with you?
- What do you mean?

I mean, you're acting... you're
acting pretty weird lately.

By "weird," do you mean "happy"?

I don't know how I would characterize it.

I'm just saying I think
you're, you know, I don't know.

You're smiling all the
time. I hear you wear suits.

- You go to church.
- (chuckles)

Sounds like my secret's out.

Yeah, I never really saw
myself on this path before,

but, uh, you know, after I moved
out, away from you and the kids,

I was pretty lonely and
looking for somebody to talk to,

so I... I turned to the Big Guy.

And the Big Guy is God?

The Big Guy is God and He's
been a good friend to me.

I mean, the smiles?

You know, I've been feeling pretty content.

But what about you, you
know? How's Frances doing?

Are you really asking me?

'Cause, um, if you're really asking me,

I'm... I just got a really
amazing job offer at Sotheby's.

- Really?
- Yeah.

So, I'm pretty content, too.

That's wonderful. I'm
really thrilled for you.

- Why?
- Because I want you to be happy.

You know, as happy as I am.

I mean, we got a lot of
wonderful memories here

and a lot of wonderful years together.

I just... look at us now, you know?

We're thriving.

Uh, yeah, okay.

The snake goes.

You know what? Sleep on it, huh?

I mean, not literally, 'cause
she'll bite you on the bottom,

but let's, uh... let's shake
to friendly co-parenting.

All right, you tapped it out.

That's cool.

All right. All right, see you kids later.

- Bye, Dad!
- Bye, Dad!

I'll bring the feeder mice by tomorrow.

They're called pinkies.

Usually frozen. Little snake snacks.

- Good night!
- (door opens)

He's just so happy all of a sudden.

You know, like, he's just
handling everything so well.

- Could be a trick.
- You mean simply to fuck with me?

Yes, definitely. And it's working.

Well, if it's not a trick...
and I don't like to admit this...

I am really not happy that he's so happy.

Well, that's a very common feeling.

- A lot of my patients get...
- Hey.

Oh, hello.

(clattering)

(liquid pouring)

I'm Riley, Cole's girlfriend.

Hi, Riley. I'm Frances.

- Nice to meet you.
- Likewise.

- (door closes)
- She seems nice.

- She's a slut.
- No.

No, look how she walks around my house,

rubbing her scent on everything.

Drinking water 'cause she's so thirsty

from all the good fucking she's gotten.

- (chuckles) Oh, my God.
- I'm sorry.

I just... I wanted you
to talk about you today,

so why don't we just focus
on the new job, right?

Did you get the money worked out?

Well, it's not polite to talk about money,

but, you know, it's a lot.

See? That's great!

You got a job that you actually liked

and a raise, minus Robert's half,

so that's actually... well,
that'll end up pretty good.

I know, it's such good timing,
right? Wait, wait, wait, what?

I said that's still a lot.

No, minus Robert's half?

You said "minus Robert's half."

Yeah, well, you're not divorced yet,

so if you take the job, that becomes
part of Robert's standard of living.

No, no, I don't think that's
correct. That's not how it works.

That's how it worked for
Julie Reddick. Remember?

From Cole's school who
started the yoga pant company

that went into IPO two weeks
before she kicked her husband out?

And he never has to work again,

and he never even believed in those pants.

Robert would never do that.

Not now.

- Did you tell him about the job?
- Yeah.

How'd he take it?

He seemed...

very happy.

Yeah. Wouldn't you be if you
were getting six figures a year

to do nothing because your
wife got a big, new job?

Yeah, I gotta hit the road.

That can't really be the law, right, Max?

I mean, it seems neither fair nor equitable

for me to be penalized for
being the primary breadwinner.

- Max: Slow down, my dear.
- What, and just because I work harder

and I stand to make more, then he benefits?

The short answer is yes.

He could make a claim that your
income counts as joint assets

and establish a standard of living...

- (siren wails)
- ...regardless of the date of separation.

It does happen. One moment, now.

Let me just grab a pen.

- Ma... Max?
- Honey? Did you take my pen?

- Max, do you need a pen right now?
- Woman: In your hand!

- No, not this one. My good one.
- Max? Oh, Lordy.

- Woman: That is your good one.
- Max: Was the cap always this color?

Ugh, Max.

I was hoping to defer
the official start date

for a prespecified length of time.

- Defer?
- Yeah.

It's commonplace, as you know,

- in cases of pregnancy and illness.
- (elevator dings)

Standard operating procedure.

Um, are you pregnant?

Oh, God, no! That would be a miracle.

- No, no, no.
- Sick?

No, no, no, no, no. Everything's fine.

There... there are just some, um,

unforeseen financial ramifications

concerning my ex-husband...
my soon-to-be ex-husband,

so hence the deferment.

Oh, I see.

Are you divorced?

No. My wife passed away.

Oh, no. I'm so... I'm so sorry.

Well, bear with me because, um,

this is a little bit all
over the place right now.

But, okay, just to nutshell it,

the upside is I am willing to work
for you for free for six months, okay?

You get all my contacts,
my skills, my expertise,

my passion for the arts, the whole package.

Then I would start officially

after the deferment period.

- Sounds like a pretty good deal, right?
- (elevator dings)

Oh, okay.

We don't usually let our
employees work for free.

Yeah, no, I thought you might say that

because you're an ethical man.

Um, but memo item five...

it's the next page... next page.

Yeah. Sorry.

I don't have my glasses.
I would help you find it.

But anyway, the point
is that memo item five

addresses this contingency.

In that case, you could award me a bonus

at the end of the first year,

making up for the six months.

Or not, or not. You...
I mean, I don't know.

Maybe you have some ideas
that we could kick around?

- Uh, just give... just give it a think-think.
- Courtney: Frances?

- Oh, hey!
- What are you doing here?

Well, actually, I came to see you,

you know, to discuss the... the
deferral plan that I emailed you about,

which, again, I just feel
is a win-win for all of us.

- You could've just called me.
- No, I know that.

I thought... but you know what it is?

It's just... this is a little bit
unorthodox, so I felt like in person.

But do... we can discuss initial reactions.

We definitely can't do this.

No. It makes no sense for us.

Okay. That's not a problem.

Nor is it a deal breaker.

I'm just... I'm just
floating trial balloons,

you know, as one does.

So, Courtney, do you wanna walk me down?

I'm pretty busy here, so...

Oh, got ya. Yeah, excellent, excellent.

Look, listen... looking forward
to continuing the dialogue

as this all develops.

Okay. And should I touch... I'll
touch base with you on Monday, right?

- Let's do that.
- Okay, okay.

Bye-bye,
bye-bye, bye-bye.

Bye-bye. Bye.

(button clicks)

(elevator dings)

(people laughing)

Hornet's nest. Oh, man.

Listen, do you mind if
I share with the group?

- Of course not, Robert.
- Thank you, Brother Jim.

I just wanna say how much I've
really enjoyed my new fellowship here.

We love having you. You're
already like part of the family.

- Thank you, Mag.
- What about those dark times, Robert?

You doing okay?

You know, it's got a lot to
do with my soon-to-be ex-wife.

She's on her own journey.

- You know, her own road to Damascus, if you will.
- All: Mmm.

But I just... I'm trying to find
it in my heart to wish her well,

but it's tough.

Believe you me, it's tough.

I mean, especially considering the
way she spread it for another guy.

Yeah. I mean, sorry, ladies.

I know that that's, uh,
a little... a little crude,

but it's true.

It's what she did.

He's an art professor, this French asshole.

You know, he cleaned his
brush up in there pretty good.

Yeah, yeah.

Yep.

Yeah, I've got something for him, though.

Yeah.

(chatter)

- (line ringing)
- (sighs)

- Courtney: Hello?
- Hey, Courtney. It's Frances.

Oh. Hi.

Hi.

Sorry everything got so muddled yesterday.

- Um, anyway...
- (elevator dings)

I just thought that I
should give you the head's up

that I'm gonna be

passing on the job.

- Right.
- Right. It's just not a great time right now.

(chuckles) As you might've gathered.

Oh, well, yes. Um, I'm sorry about that.

Yeah, me, too.

Um, but I'm... you know,
I'm still putting together

a really solid slate of candidates for you.

Oh, no, that's okay.

We're just gonna retain another firm

for our executive-searching needs.

Less messy, right? Fresh start.

Yeah. Yeah, of course.

Fresh start.

Yeah.

Well, um, so, see ya!

Yeah, okay. I'll see you.

And, listen, let's not
be strangers, you know?

- Do you wanna... do you wanna...
- (line ccks)

Most of Eakins's nudes were of men,

but I find his women even more compelling.

- (wrapper crinkling)
- Notice the herrealism of the pubic mons,

the bottom-heavy breast.

The somber expression
on the model's face

is very atypical for
nudes of this period.

Is Eakins simply capturing reality,

or is he maybe having
a little bit on with us?

(students chuckling)

Let's unpack this. I open the floor.

Yes. The gentleman in the back.

Perhaps the artist

did not see these women as human beings.

Perhaps they were nothing more

than objet de
perverted animal desire.

(students chuckling)

Uh, well... (chuckling)

that's not the traditional reading.

But anyone else?

Robert: Perhaps he
only saw them as tools.

Tools to do his filthy bidding

and then discard

as a Frenchman will do.

Well, uh, some interesting
observations there.

- (students chuckling)
- Thank you.

Except that Eakins was not French.

- (bell rings)
- All right.

Can everyone please read
Wood in your packets?

And hand in your free-form
responses to your TAs.

Thank you, everyone.

(exhales)

- Bonjour, Julian.
- Shit!

(pants) Who are you?

I'm Robert DuFresne.

You fucked my wife.

Frances DuFresne.

Oh.

Well...

for your information, I'm not French.

(laughs) Oh, Julian.

(sighs)

I have something for you, though.

Uh, it's...

I think you know the
right thing to do, Julian.

Listen, I really... I don't
know what to do with this.

I prefer not to have...

Oh, here. Let me help you out with that.

Put it right in here
next to your pudding cup.

(chuckles)

Oh, Julian.

I forgive you.

I forgive you.

(grunts)

You are forgiven!

You have a nice day.

Okay.

I will.

(door closes)

(sighs)

(electricity buzzing)

Tom!

(music playing)

♪ I've never seen the light
that people talk about ♪

♪ You open up my wallet
and dust falls out ♪

♪ That's all right with me ♪

♪ Because the songs
that I'll sing ♪

♪ Won't be blue ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ 'Cause, honey, you and I ♪

♪ No more lonely nights ♪

♪ I'll never make the headlines
or the evening news... ♪

The plug isn't gonna reach.

Well, you know where
the extension cords are.

In the kitchen.

♪ Oh, but the song that I sing ♪

♪ Won't be blue ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Yeah, 'cause,
honey, you and I ♪

♪ Ooh, you and I ♪

♪ No more lonely nights ♪

♪ Take me there ♪

♪ The truth, the
faith I have in you ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ It's our melody ♪

♪ It's what we do together ♪

♪ My Jesus ♪

♪ You open up my heart ♪

♪ You make me laugh
when I'm feelin' down ♪

♪ No more lonely nights ♪

♪ No more lonely nights ♪

♪ No more lonely nights ♪