Dirty Lines (2022–…): Season 1, Episode 3 - Episode #1.3 - full transcript
I'm here! Yoo-hoo!
A NETFLIX SERIES
Look out, get the ball.
- Bet you can't get me.
- No!
Okay, stop!
No, you've had your turn.
You're always up. It's my turn.
- Come on!
- Anouk's out.
- No, it's not out.
- Yes, of course you're out.
Those are the rules of the game, okay?
Or I'm not playing.
- Marly.
- Don't be like that.
Okay, I'm not playing anymore.
- Oh, Marly.
- Okay.
Who wants to play
hide and seek?
I didn't do anything wrong.
You're loud, Marly.
You're far too loud.
But I was only playing.
Who do you think
they'll blame if there's trouble?
They'll be at our door
because "it can only have been
that dark-skinned loudmouth."
And you stand out, Marly.
People like us can't afford to stand out.
Got it?
Got it.
When my parents
chucked me out of the house, I thought,
"Now it's starting, real life."
"Finally, I'm free to do whatever I want."
"Amsterdam is a game reserve
full of fun, handsome men that I can
simply drag up to my little room,
the way a panther
drags its prey up into a tree."
One little problem though,
I was no panther.
I was a chameleon
that changes color at first sight.
So I spent every night alone in bed.
Well, alone...
It was student housing, after all.
Marly.
That's not how I raised you.
Hands above the blankets.
You're not here.
Yes, I am. I can see you.
Go away.
So this is what you left us for.
Bare mess.
Why don't you make it a bit cozier?
You wouldn't let me take anything.
Do you want to pick
your teeth up off the floor? Shut up.
Ah, I'm coming!
Waalstraat.
Yeah, right.
Now you notice me. Moron.
If I ever want to count for something
in this town, I really have to change.
Hey, Frank.
Hey,
gorgeous.
Ah, what is that?
I'm going to take a look.
Hi.
And this one here needs to be...
Ramon!
What?
- Urgent?
- Three hundred lines.
- They have to go in somewhere, right?
- Yeah, can it wait?
It's 12 o'clock.
So...
Hey, Frank.
Hey.
- Marly.
- Marly.
The party at the silo.
Oh, right. Check. Now I remember.
- What can I do for you?
- I start today.
Help me.
With my job.
- Recording a tape. Sure.
- No.
No, you said you had work for me.
Real work.
It's great that you want to come work
for us. The more, the merrier.
I'm really sorry.
I wasn't completely sober at that party.
But we're expanding soon,
and we're bound to need more staff.
So leave your name and telephone number,
and we'll be in touch with you, okay?
We're renovating.
"I'll renovate your face."
That's what I should have said.
Time to get dressed now.
He's not going to call me, is he?
Probably not.
Nina.
Could you please tell Ramon
the meeting's in the lords' chamber.
The lords' chamber?
Check.
Mother fucker.
Okay guys, how fast can we have
those lines up and running?
Maybe we should think about content first.
I don't think people want
300 different porn tapes.
Yeah!
Hey, we could start a joke line too.
Listen up.
- Little Joe's off to hooker's...
- You know what we should do?
Gay lines.
You'd like that, huh? You pervert.
- Dude, you're the biggest homo.
- Oh, shut up.
Seriously, that's a great idea.
Gay lines. Ramon?
Well, I don't know. Having queers
around the place all day long.
- Well, you don't have to listen to them.
- I'm with Ramon.
It has to be fun for us too.
Hey, all those recordings,
how are we going to do it?
We'll do it the way we've always done it.
Johnny writes a few stories,
Nina calls some random broads.
Three hundred lines with one studio?
That will never work.
Sure, we can. We build an extra studio.
We've got plenty of room.
Just tell me where you want it.
I'll sort it out with the architect.
Wait a minute.
Sorry, but that's our department, Frank.
I'm not going to let some designer clown
decide what our studio will sound like.
Okay, let's chuck out the Marshall, right?
And bring in a 24-channel D&R mixing desk.
Yeah, D for dead and R for rot.
Guys, we're not recording
the Concertgebouw orchestra, okay?
Okay, make it 12 tracks.
But 300 lines is a lot.
It'll be fine, dude.
Frank?
Anouk called.
She needs you at home right now.
- Anouk?
- Yeah, she said it was urgent, so...
She wants you back, Frankie. Hey?
Yeah, this afternoon.
That architect is coming, so...
Don't be a dick. You want her back, right?
- Yeah.
- Well, go on, then.
Hey, Nien.
Want to play?
Hey, is that allowed?
A woman in the lords' chamber?
You call this a lords' chamber?
I think you mean a toddlers' corner.
- Calm down. I'm coming.
- Yeah.
You call this parking or what?
Hey!
Sorry, dear neighbor.
Frank recognized him instantly.
Bram Heimans.
After three successful solo shows,
Bram was the Netherlands' most famous
and most progressive stand-up comedian.
Do you really think that those people
with their big BMWs,
and with their yachts in Saint-Tropez,
do you really think
that those people are any happier?
You bet your freaking ass!
Of course!
A bit of cash, a bit of dinero.
Life is oh, so sweet, right?
- Sorry.
- Hey.
This place was empty for so long.
Force of habit.
But I'll refrain from dumping the voiture
in front of your entrance from now on.
And Frank being Frank,
he immediately smelled an opportunity.
I'll introduce myself.
Frank Stigter. I'm a big fan.
Bram Heimans, but you noticed already.
Listen, we should have
come around sooner to say hello.
No worries, man.
But you are those boys
with those sex lines, aren't you?
That's right.
- Pop in for a chat sometime.
- Sure.
Maybe we can help each other out.
- Sorry, I don't do corporate events.
- No, of course not.
I was thinking about your own hotline.
The Bram Heimans line.
Yeah.
I don't think
anyone would get turned on by that.
Just ask my wife.
It would be
the world's first stand-up comedy line.
You're on radio and TV, aren't you?
So, why not on the phone as well?
You can do a new show every week.
Nobody likes to be associated
with sex lines.
I don't think I'll be able to fit it in.
Least of all
a left-leaning artist like Bram Heimans.
Very nice car.
I can tell you have good taste.
Thank you.
But there was one thing
Frank could do like no other.
Actually, you should
try out the new sports model.
- Yeah?
- It's in a league of its own.
The art of seduction.
Is that right?
Well...
SHAME
The biggest problem
in treating people with sexual issues
is that it is a topic
that is laden with shame.
I'll give you an example.
Is there anyone in the room
who's into anal sex?
See? That's how difficult it is
to talk about sex.
"What will the others think?"
"Is it normal if I say I like anal sex?"
But that kind of openness
is what we ask of our patients.
How often do you masturbate?
What do you fantasize about
when you masturbate?
Yes.
Do you practice anal sex?
My wife is considering it.
And you?
Not after dinner.
To experience how our patients feel,
I'd like to play
the carousel game with you.
Please group in pairs. And remember,
you don't have to answer the questions.
That's exactly what this is about:
discovering where your boundaries lie.
Should I start?
"What do you like most about sex?"
I've never...
Oh?
Never?
Not even with yourself?
Okay, I'll pick another card then.
"Have you ever contracted an STD,
and how did it..."
No. Maybe it's best if you start.
"Do you have any sexual fantasies?"
Yeah.
All people have sexual fantasies,
don't they?
"How many sexual partners have you had?"
Fewer than you.
All right.
Okay. "What do you like about sex?"
To be completely honest,
nothing at all.
- But you have boyfriend after boyfriend.
- Yeah, that's why.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Would you two mind splitting up for now?
There's someone on his own back there
and you already know each other
a bit too well.
- Sure, okay.
- Yes?
So, it's you and me, then.
Unless you're uncomfortable with it.
I totally get it.
- No, it's okay.
- Yeah?
Yeah.
Right, you can start.
Oh, yeah.
"Do you think monogamy
is realistic and achievable
in a marriage
or a long-term relationship?"
Realistic and achievable for many people.
And speaking for yourself?
Very good.
I personally think it's better
not to define a relationship
in terms of exclusivity,
but rather in terms
of what makes it unique.
The relationship I have with my wife
I have with no one else.
Yeah.
DO YOU USUALLY USE CONDOMS?
What was your first
sexual experience like?
- You don't have to answer the question.
- Yeah, no. I know.
No, I could share something about that.
You see...
Okay.
So, I'm not going to tell him this.
But I have always had
a huge fascination for penises.
Not that I had seen that many.
- Marly.
- My parents didn't do nude.
Get out.
But the boy next door did.
And there were books
I could secretly peruse.
I wanted to know so badly
what it would be like to have
one of those things between your legs,
a thing that would just dangle there
and could get hard at any time.
They had a section in Hitkrant, "Heat Up,"
which answered all of my questions.
DO NOT DISTURB!
Unless my mother got to it first.
So I was in no way prepared
for that first giant,
meaty cock.
- Ow!
- Shh.
Let me tell you,
being deflowered
by someone with an oversized dick
isn't something I'd recommend.
That was it.
My first time.
I gave up on it straight afterwards.
Well, I expected a bit more from it.
Yes?
Okay. Very good.
Please change partners, everyone.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Hey, what are you doing here?
- Good to see you.
New aftershave?
Well, what's up?
She can tell you herself.
She's upstairs in bed.
Hey, Poekie.
Hey.
What's up with you?
I want to die.
Okay, why?
If there was a train here,
I'd jump in front of it.
Hey, Poekie. Hey.
You stink.
No, nothing.
What is it?
Nauseous. So nauseous and it's your fault.
My fault?
I'm pregnant.
Congratulations.
Hey, Anouk.
Whoa, jeez.
I imagined it so differently. I...
Oh, sweet.
No. Go away. Get Natasja.
We really have to make it soundproof.
That's no problem.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is big enough.
Yeah, we'll put a door in that wall.
So you can enter the studio
from both sides.
- Exactly.
- You're not doing anything here.
This is my office.
Well, I guess you'll still have to move.
Sorry.
- Well, he doesn't do shit anyway.
- Hello, this is research, okay?
- Who writes all the stories around here?
- Ah!
Here you are. The architect's here.
Yeah, I'll be right there.
We'll find you a room, John.
- No worries.
- Goddamn it.
Can I be of assistance?
With your research?
Hi. Alexander.
Ramon.
Frank's not here, so he asked me
to show you around.
Well, this could use
a little more provocation, right?
Provocation?
Yeah, less tame.
Right? This whole space
absolutely screams to be stripped down.
And then maybe create
a great statement piece on this wall.
Something to impress.
A large tapestry or a mural painting.
Yeah, sounds good.
- Shall we start the tour, then?
- Yeah.
Okay.
Well, the light's great.
- Why did she wait to call me?
- She's only just found out.
So you're going to be a dad after all.
Despite your slow sperm.
Who says my sperm is slow?
If you don't have it tested...
Sorry. Congratulations.
You think she'll take me back?
I don't know, Frank.
I'm staying out of that.
But Ramon says
you've been keeping quite busy.
Asshole.
We tell each other everything.
First, figure out what you want, okay?
Hey, Willem. That's Willem.
This is the recording studio.
That's where we record the tapes.
Bookkeeping.
And this is the heart of the company
but that doesn't need any work.
This is my domain.
I'll take a peek anyway.
And how is this your domain?
I'm the engineer.
When we first started,
it was just a bunch
of interconnected answering machines
but soon it will be full
of cassette players. From wall to wall.
- May I?
- Yeah, sure.
That's a playback for us to check...
Come on, baby. Come on.
Slide it between my breasts, up and down.
It's the end of the tape,
so there's a lot of...
- Come.
- "Come all over me."
Squirt all over my tits.
Just come.
We're bringing in different lines as well.
Joke lines, weather forecasts
and a stock exchange thing.
Ah! I'm coming!
Do you know that we have met before?
Yes.
At the party at the docks.
So, you do remember.
I don't stick my tongue into just anyone.
Although I hadn't noticed
your wedding ring.
Have you guys
ever considered a gay sex line?
That would make a lot of people happy.
I haven't seen you in a week.
That's all I'm saying.
I have to do everything
by myself with RoXY!
We could have opened a month ago.
- Help, Misch! Calm down, will you?
- I am not calm!
Jan, are you alright?
Who wants to come to The Rijk?
- Sorry, I'm broke.
- Yeah, me too. End of the month.
As if nobody's going to buy us a drink.
That's what she said to me,
and I said, I told you...
- Come on, let's go say hi.
- No, please, let's not.
Then we know for sure
that we don't have to pay.
Hey, Janna.
- Hey.
- Hey, ladies.
Hello.
So, what would you like to drink?
Yeah, 'cause Frank is buying.
He's going to be a dad.
- What?
- Yeah.
- Congratulations.
- Congratulations.
Now he just needs
to make up with his wife, right?
- Well, let's celebrate.
- Shouldn't you be getting home soon?
Does Natasja let you stay out this late?
I'm just messing with you.
I'd like a beer.
- Yeah, me too.
- I'm Frank.
Seriously.
How many people like me
does he see in a day?
Kidding. Hi.
Marly, right? Sorry about this morning.
- Hey, do you want a beer?
- Yeah, sure.
- To the little demon!
- Well, he's not here yet.
- Johnny is a titties man.
- Where did you get that idea, man?
All your stories are all about tits.
Yeah, the story I got last time
was all about tits.
Yeah, and mine
was all about Swedish style.
Swedish style? What's that?
- In between.
- That's Russian style.
Russian style.
In Italian we call it
"coitus alle mammelle."
- Are you from Italy?
- Can't you tell?
Shouldn't you offer
more variety with those lines?
What, sorry?
Hey.
Well, I mean,
not all men are the same, so...
What turns some men on, others might hate.
Just look at the list of paraphilias.
Bro, someone's been studying hard.
- Para-what?
- Special preferences.
Fetishes.
- Like masochism, exhibitionism, voyeurism.
- Yeah.
You could easily
subdivide those lines into,
for instance, a nurses line,
an air hostess line, an S&M line.
Marly Salomon,
would you please keep your big mouth shut?
We did not teach you this.
- The old hooker line.
- Yeah.
The muff line.
- Well, the gay line.
- That one is for Ronnie.
Yeah, well...
Research shows that one in ten men
have had a homoerotic experience.
- Yeah.
- One in ten?
For one in forty,
it's their sexual preference.
One in thirty.
One in thirty.
Hey, Ramon. That's a lot of people.
Yeah, a lot of people. So?
Yeah, but we have 300 lines
to fill, remember?
And you could even subdivide
into gay and lesbian.
The tomboy line.
- That's the muff line.
- No.
- Sure. Why not?
- Tomboys aren't necessarily gay and...
Still looking for a job?
Yes.
We could use an extra writer.
Twenty guilders per story.
This is what I get
for not keeping my big mouth shut.
Suddenly, creating content for 300 lines
had become my problem.
I needed to come up with 20 sex stories
by the end of the week.
As a test.
I approached the project
like any scientist would.
Step one: a literature review.
I'm sorry, honey. I love you.
Followed by observation.
He wanted to take them.
MAKE-UP SEX
And I said, "Fine, love,
if you want to take my panties home."
"If that's what turns you on."
"But it'll cost you an extra 20 guilders."
"Because I'm not a cheapo."
And field research.
Interesting.
And ultimately,
all this knowledge comes together in
the publication.
Mar, are you coming to class?
Whoa.
- You okay, miss D. H. Lawrence?
- No.
I know nothing about sex.
Don't be silly.
- You know that book by heart.
- Yeah, that's theory.
That's not arousing.
I can't turn that into a story.
Don't take them so seriously, man.
It's not an exam, right?
Yeah, you know me.
It has to be good.
Oh, you're right. This is really bad.
This won't get anyone horny.
Jan.
I just don't know enough about it.
Mar, you just need
to use your own fantasies.
When was the last time
you fantasized about anyone?
You see? Just write about yourself.
Good luck.
Thanks.
The design's by an artist
called Boris van Soest.
High in demand.
Has an exposition in the Stedelijk.
Oh, really?
Thanks, guys.
What this says
is that this is a serious business
with serious, hard-working people.
Yeah.
And we would put it here, right?
- Yeah, right here.
- Uh-huh.
Hey, Alex.
Hi, I'm here
to do a recording for the Bad Boys line.
Okay, you can follow me.
The studio's downstairs.
We started a gay line.
I see.
This is not included
in the price for the remodeling, I guess?
No, it's another thirty thousand on top.
Thirty thousand?
But on a two hundred grand budget...
Two hundred?
It will increase
the value of the property.
We're renting this.
You're renting?
Okay.
Hey, little brother, just in time.
You met our neighbor?
Hi. Bram Heimans.
- Ramon Stigter.
- Ramon is our technical director.
Bram here
just signed up for a year.
I feel like a soccer club.
Yeah,
but I'm way cheaper than Van Basten.
How do you like the sound of this:
"Teledutch presents a stand-up comedy line
with Bram Heimans."
How classy is that?
100,000 GUILDERS
Welcome to Teledutch.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
Frank, can I talk to you for a minute?
About the remodeling. Nice to meet you.
- Frankie, hey.
- Yeah, okay.
Want to hear a joke, Brammie boy?
- A joke?
- Yeah.
I thought we take all decisions together.
Yes.
Is there a problem?
Well, since we seem to be paying
a hundred grand for a joker.
Ramon, that's my department.
I'm not interfering with yours either,
with your studio
and your Neumann and your Sennheiser.
You want to produce top quality too?
Bram Heimans is top quality.
Do you realize
what he can do for our image?
Jokes. Frank, a joke line.
With his fucking stand-up. You think
people will pay 50 cents per minute
to listen to that leftist clown?
- I don't think so, man.
- That's not the point.
It's about what it looks like
on the ads page.
- "Teledutch Presents Bram Heimans."
- Jesus.
Yeah, I'm trying
to give this company a bit of class.
Oh yeah. And so we're restyling
this joint for 200 grand
because you...
because mister wants to buy us class?
Frank, we're renting here!
Have you ever listened
to what's on those tapes?
Like really listened to it?
- You just can't see it.
- What?
We're not a bunch of sex peddlers, man.
Three hundred lines is nothing.
What we're doing is the future.
There's no end to it.
In two weeks time,
we'll open the renewed Teledutch.
And that's just the start. Trust me.
Two hundred grand
is nothing compared to
what you and I are going to be raking in.
Frankie, come on, man.
Hey, Nien. How about another bottle?
Yes, Ramon Stigter for Alexander.
That mural painting
in the reception is a definite go.
Our fantasies tell us something
about our deepest problems and desires.
Why don't you bend over, Mr. Jansen.
That which we allow no one to see.
Yes, sir. I've been very naughty.
Don't look at me,
you miserable scuzzbucket.
Because there's nothing scarier
than baring your all.
And we're recording.
But there's no need
to be yourself.
I'm sitting here with Monique.
And Monique works in the men's
fashion department of a large chain store.
Monique, why don't you tell us
what you look like?
Well, I have this very long,
red curly hair, down to my buttocks.
And I have big fat boobs that sit
very snugly in my tight little blouse.
And at the moment,
I'm wearing this really short skirt
that just shows a glimpse of my buttocks.
Sometimes I can't control myself
then I just have to slip
into the fitting room.
Wow, Monique.
So, that's why I thought,
instead of these stories,
we could do interviews.
And the only thing we need
is a few key words.
"Who, what, where, and when."
So, I'm wearing,
you know, this white uniform.
And underneath,
I'm naked.
So, to summarize, you hear
a conversation between two people,
but our imagination starts working,
which makes it sound all the more real.
So then, you know, I rub down my body
with a nice massage oil.
Yeah?
And then I slowly
let myself slide onto him.
The number of lines
we could come up with was endless.
At night when the kids were asleep
he came into my room.
Yeah, right here!
Take me on the counter! Oh, yes!
Don't look at me,
you miserable little creature.
Yes, I'm coming! Fuck me!
It wasn't just my imagination
that was stimulated.
Even the men got inspired.
Ice cold, boys.
If we're doing audio plays anyway,
then why not add sound effects
to them as well?
Great idea. Come here.
Cat slurping saucer of milk.
And so all of the Netherlands
was jerking off
to the sound of a pussycat
slurping up a saucer of milk.
Open your mouth.
Or the sound of...
Let me pee in your mouth.
That's so good.
Okay, so we'll record two couples
at the same time,
and we'll pretend that they're swingers.
Marly, what do you think?
All of a sudden, I'd become the expert.
Or, as Frank called it, the sexpert.
Yeah, okay. And we'll call it the...
the couples club?
Yeah.
- Good one.
- Yeah, that's a good one.
- Gezellig spel, hè?
- Nou, een zenuwenspel.
Blauw. Prima.
- O, wacht effe,
- Nee, we doen niks.
- Deze kant.
- Ik doe niks.
Wit. Beetje hier. Jij gooien.
Hey.
You're up again.
Can I get you anything?
My body back.
- Niet zo hard gooien.
- Niet zo hard gooien.
Ga door.
Rood.
I've got something for you.
Jij moet gooien.
We zijn er bijna. Bijna.
This was Lucas' first little sock.
I think he wore it only once
before he'd outgrown it.
Eva... Ja!
This is what you're doing it for.
U heeft een droomreis
gewonnen, naar Los Angeles en New York.
En voor dit geweldige avontuur
krijgt u nog extra duizend gulden mee.
Merci. Hartelijk dank.
En ik wens je een fijne...
Zij gaan naar Los Angeles.
Pas op de champagne.
Welcome to
the Teledutch Drive-In Show Extravaganza!
This is how Ramon and I
first went into business together.
I was 16.
I was 14.
Ramon was 14,
and with our own DJ drive-in set,
we did the rounds at village fêtes.
And especially for you guys tonight,
we've dusted off our old set
and we'll play,
for one night only, no naughty sex tapes
but bad records!
Yeah!
To salut the renewed Teledutch
with all of you.
It may have been
a hundred grand more expensive.
Yeah, very funny.
But holy shit, Alexander,
it turned out so beautiful.
You are a true artist.
I would like to...
I would like to thank a few more people,
of course. Without you guys...
You would be a couple of broke fuckers!
Johnny.
Johnny, you had the guts to invest in us
when no one else
could see what we were about. Thank you.
Hey, Tsjibbe, where you at? Tsjibbe!
Boom.
And Ronnie, our amazing sound engineer.
Thank you so much.
He's single, gentlemen. Hey.
- Not really funny. But whatever.
- Not really.
Nina. The face of Teledutch.
And last but not least,
Ramon.
Ramon!
Brother, this adventure
is not my adventure, it's our adventure.
I couldn't have done it without you.
Thank you.
Oh, wait. I'm totally forgetting someone.
And that's all of you
working to record those dirty tapes.
Give it up for DJ Ramon!
Do you know how I know
that there is no God?
By our genitals.
Look, the perfect God, right?
Who supposedly
created man in his own image,
simply couldn't be responsible
for something like the ball sack.
No? Not a funny joke?
I'll soon be recording
for one of those lines
and I thought I'd test it out, but...
- I'm laughing on the inside.
- Oh, okay, right.
Well, actually,
it's not even one of mine, it's...
No, it's one of Nietzsche's.
What have we got here?
So you're not only pretty, but...
He phrased it with less humor.
Who'd have thought
that in this Sodom and Gomorrah,
I'd meet a like-minded soul this evening.
Well.
- Want to dance?
- Yeah.
Frankie. Frank. Take one. Go on.
Oh, party.
- Cheers.
- Cheers, Johnny.
Pretty lady.
A bit young, maybe?
So, I guess this is your choice.
Do I have a choice?
Anouk is pregnant, remember?
She kicked me out, you know?
There's a whole army of people
looking after her,
including Ramon and me, 24/7.
And you do nothing.
Here.
A small gift.
You could put it on your dick
before you knock her up too.
Hey, I've got to go.
- We'll talk later.
- Bye.
Are you happy with the new artwork?
Absolutely.
It's just what the business needed.
Thank you.
That's great.
Hey, I'm going home to relieve babysitter.
Are you staying?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- Sorry. I'm Natasja, Ramon's wife.
- Alexander.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Alexander did the interior decorating.
Wow, amazing work.
Our house is in bad need of a makeover.
Maybe we can hire you.
Yeah, sure.
It was a joy working with Ramon.
Well, I don't make the decisions at home.
- Why don't you go ahead? Yeah?
- Okay.
- I'll take a cab home. Don't worry.
- Have fun then.
It's really amazing, guys.
She seems nice, man.
Yeah.
So, when's the RoXY opening up?
Maybe I could drop by sometime?
- Don't bother.
- Don't bother?
I...
I really can't help you, Ramon.
I know what it's like. I've been there.
And I think you're great, but...
I don't feel
like going through that same hell again.
So if you want to,
then do it for you,
not for me or anyone else.
But do it.
Otherwise it will tear you apart.
Sexual attraction
is a mysterious phenomenon.
It goes far beyond a person's appearance.
Was it matching pheromones?
His scent?
The fact that someone as famous as him
was the only one who took notice of me?
Made me laugh?
I'm sure I would have gone home with him.
The problem with men is that
they notoriously say the wrong thing.
Feel like coming home with me tonight?
So far, so good.
I've never done it
with a Black woman before.
No. Sorry. No.
Sorry?
Why sorry?
Why do you want to have sex
a Black woman so badly?
Is it different? Please enlighten me
because I can't do special tricks
with my cunt, if that's what you think.
And I know nothing
about unusual Surinamese positions,
and I won't do any limbo dancing
on your cock.
Are you still interested, Bram?
Guys,
I completely forgot to thank Marly.
Our own sexpert.
Give it up for Marly!
My mother always said
every person has a role to play in life.
But the challenge
is to discover what your role might be.
And this one is for Ronnie.
♪ Come on people let us use our... ♪
I'd become so good
at hiding who I was
that I thought I was a mere extra
in the lives of others.
♪ Somebody tell me now ♪
♪ Believe in destiny ♪
And that all changed
the moment I dared being loud again.
♪ Why, tell me why
Tell me why, tell me why do I pray ♪
Extremely loud.
♪ Why, tell me why
Tell me why, tell me why do I pray ♪
♪ I hope that freedom
Soon will come our way ♪
♪ Somebody tell me now ♪
MEN ONLY
...without seeing you,
I can feel your hands on my body.
I rake my nails down your back.
I pull you close.
I place my hand on your pants
and feel your cock slowly go hard.
This is Anouk's answering machine.
And Frank's.
And Frank's too.
Please leave your message after the...
Beep.
Hey, Poekie.
It's me.
Frank?
Please come home.
Yes!
There!
Oh, go on!
Oh, I love it.
Come on.
Go on.
Deeper!
Harder!
Go on!
Yes!
Yeah!
A NETFLIX SERIES
Look out, get the ball.
- Bet you can't get me.
- No!
Okay, stop!
No, you've had your turn.
You're always up. It's my turn.
- Come on!
- Anouk's out.
- No, it's not out.
- Yes, of course you're out.
Those are the rules of the game, okay?
Or I'm not playing.
- Marly.
- Don't be like that.
Okay, I'm not playing anymore.
- Oh, Marly.
- Okay.
Who wants to play
hide and seek?
I didn't do anything wrong.
You're loud, Marly.
You're far too loud.
But I was only playing.
Who do you think
they'll blame if there's trouble?
They'll be at our door
because "it can only have been
that dark-skinned loudmouth."
And you stand out, Marly.
People like us can't afford to stand out.
Got it?
Got it.
When my parents
chucked me out of the house, I thought,
"Now it's starting, real life."
"Finally, I'm free to do whatever I want."
"Amsterdam is a game reserve
full of fun, handsome men that I can
simply drag up to my little room,
the way a panther
drags its prey up into a tree."
One little problem though,
I was no panther.
I was a chameleon
that changes color at first sight.
So I spent every night alone in bed.
Well, alone...
It was student housing, after all.
Marly.
That's not how I raised you.
Hands above the blankets.
You're not here.
Yes, I am. I can see you.
Go away.
So this is what you left us for.
Bare mess.
Why don't you make it a bit cozier?
You wouldn't let me take anything.
Do you want to pick
your teeth up off the floor? Shut up.
Ah, I'm coming!
Waalstraat.
Yeah, right.
Now you notice me. Moron.
If I ever want to count for something
in this town, I really have to change.
Hey, Frank.
Hey,
gorgeous.
Ah, what is that?
I'm going to take a look.
Hi.
And this one here needs to be...
Ramon!
What?
- Urgent?
- Three hundred lines.
- They have to go in somewhere, right?
- Yeah, can it wait?
It's 12 o'clock.
So...
Hey, Frank.
Hey.
- Marly.
- Marly.
The party at the silo.
Oh, right. Check. Now I remember.
- What can I do for you?
- I start today.
Help me.
With my job.
- Recording a tape. Sure.
- No.
No, you said you had work for me.
Real work.
It's great that you want to come work
for us. The more, the merrier.
I'm really sorry.
I wasn't completely sober at that party.
But we're expanding soon,
and we're bound to need more staff.
So leave your name and telephone number,
and we'll be in touch with you, okay?
We're renovating.
"I'll renovate your face."
That's what I should have said.
Time to get dressed now.
He's not going to call me, is he?
Probably not.
Nina.
Could you please tell Ramon
the meeting's in the lords' chamber.
The lords' chamber?
Check.
Mother fucker.
Okay guys, how fast can we have
those lines up and running?
Maybe we should think about content first.
I don't think people want
300 different porn tapes.
Yeah!
Hey, we could start a joke line too.
Listen up.
- Little Joe's off to hooker's...
- You know what we should do?
Gay lines.
You'd like that, huh? You pervert.
- Dude, you're the biggest homo.
- Oh, shut up.
Seriously, that's a great idea.
Gay lines. Ramon?
Well, I don't know. Having queers
around the place all day long.
- Well, you don't have to listen to them.
- I'm with Ramon.
It has to be fun for us too.
Hey, all those recordings,
how are we going to do it?
We'll do it the way we've always done it.
Johnny writes a few stories,
Nina calls some random broads.
Three hundred lines with one studio?
That will never work.
Sure, we can. We build an extra studio.
We've got plenty of room.
Just tell me where you want it.
I'll sort it out with the architect.
Wait a minute.
Sorry, but that's our department, Frank.
I'm not going to let some designer clown
decide what our studio will sound like.
Okay, let's chuck out the Marshall, right?
And bring in a 24-channel D&R mixing desk.
Yeah, D for dead and R for rot.
Guys, we're not recording
the Concertgebouw orchestra, okay?
Okay, make it 12 tracks.
But 300 lines is a lot.
It'll be fine, dude.
Frank?
Anouk called.
She needs you at home right now.
- Anouk?
- Yeah, she said it was urgent, so...
She wants you back, Frankie. Hey?
Yeah, this afternoon.
That architect is coming, so...
Don't be a dick. You want her back, right?
- Yeah.
- Well, go on, then.
Hey, Nien.
Want to play?
Hey, is that allowed?
A woman in the lords' chamber?
You call this a lords' chamber?
I think you mean a toddlers' corner.
- Calm down. I'm coming.
- Yeah.
You call this parking or what?
Hey!
Sorry, dear neighbor.
Frank recognized him instantly.
Bram Heimans.
After three successful solo shows,
Bram was the Netherlands' most famous
and most progressive stand-up comedian.
Do you really think that those people
with their big BMWs,
and with their yachts in Saint-Tropez,
do you really think
that those people are any happier?
You bet your freaking ass!
Of course!
A bit of cash, a bit of dinero.
Life is oh, so sweet, right?
- Sorry.
- Hey.
This place was empty for so long.
Force of habit.
But I'll refrain from dumping the voiture
in front of your entrance from now on.
And Frank being Frank,
he immediately smelled an opportunity.
I'll introduce myself.
Frank Stigter. I'm a big fan.
Bram Heimans, but you noticed already.
Listen, we should have
come around sooner to say hello.
No worries, man.
But you are those boys
with those sex lines, aren't you?
That's right.
- Pop in for a chat sometime.
- Sure.
Maybe we can help each other out.
- Sorry, I don't do corporate events.
- No, of course not.
I was thinking about your own hotline.
The Bram Heimans line.
Yeah.
I don't think
anyone would get turned on by that.
Just ask my wife.
It would be
the world's first stand-up comedy line.
You're on radio and TV, aren't you?
So, why not on the phone as well?
You can do a new show every week.
Nobody likes to be associated
with sex lines.
I don't think I'll be able to fit it in.
Least of all
a left-leaning artist like Bram Heimans.
Very nice car.
I can tell you have good taste.
Thank you.
But there was one thing
Frank could do like no other.
Actually, you should
try out the new sports model.
- Yeah?
- It's in a league of its own.
The art of seduction.
Is that right?
Well...
SHAME
The biggest problem
in treating people with sexual issues
is that it is a topic
that is laden with shame.
I'll give you an example.
Is there anyone in the room
who's into anal sex?
See? That's how difficult it is
to talk about sex.
"What will the others think?"
"Is it normal if I say I like anal sex?"
But that kind of openness
is what we ask of our patients.
How often do you masturbate?
What do you fantasize about
when you masturbate?
Yes.
Do you practice anal sex?
My wife is considering it.
And you?
Not after dinner.
To experience how our patients feel,
I'd like to play
the carousel game with you.
Please group in pairs. And remember,
you don't have to answer the questions.
That's exactly what this is about:
discovering where your boundaries lie.
Should I start?
"What do you like most about sex?"
I've never...
Oh?
Never?
Not even with yourself?
Okay, I'll pick another card then.
"Have you ever contracted an STD,
and how did it..."
No. Maybe it's best if you start.
"Do you have any sexual fantasies?"
Yeah.
All people have sexual fantasies,
don't they?
"How many sexual partners have you had?"
Fewer than you.
All right.
Okay. "What do you like about sex?"
To be completely honest,
nothing at all.
- But you have boyfriend after boyfriend.
- Yeah, that's why.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Would you two mind splitting up for now?
There's someone on his own back there
and you already know each other
a bit too well.
- Sure, okay.
- Yes?
So, it's you and me, then.
Unless you're uncomfortable with it.
I totally get it.
- No, it's okay.
- Yeah?
Yeah.
Right, you can start.
Oh, yeah.
"Do you think monogamy
is realistic and achievable
in a marriage
or a long-term relationship?"
Realistic and achievable for many people.
And speaking for yourself?
Very good.
I personally think it's better
not to define a relationship
in terms of exclusivity,
but rather in terms
of what makes it unique.
The relationship I have with my wife
I have with no one else.
Yeah.
DO YOU USUALLY USE CONDOMS?
What was your first
sexual experience like?
- You don't have to answer the question.
- Yeah, no. I know.
No, I could share something about that.
You see...
Okay.
So, I'm not going to tell him this.
But I have always had
a huge fascination for penises.
Not that I had seen that many.
- Marly.
- My parents didn't do nude.
Get out.
But the boy next door did.
And there were books
I could secretly peruse.
I wanted to know so badly
what it would be like to have
one of those things between your legs,
a thing that would just dangle there
and could get hard at any time.
They had a section in Hitkrant, "Heat Up,"
which answered all of my questions.
DO NOT DISTURB!
Unless my mother got to it first.
So I was in no way prepared
for that first giant,
meaty cock.
- Ow!
- Shh.
Let me tell you,
being deflowered
by someone with an oversized dick
isn't something I'd recommend.
That was it.
My first time.
I gave up on it straight afterwards.
Well, I expected a bit more from it.
Yes?
Okay. Very good.
Please change partners, everyone.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Hey, what are you doing here?
- Good to see you.
New aftershave?
Well, what's up?
She can tell you herself.
She's upstairs in bed.
Hey, Poekie.
Hey.
What's up with you?
I want to die.
Okay, why?
If there was a train here,
I'd jump in front of it.
Hey, Poekie. Hey.
You stink.
No, nothing.
What is it?
Nauseous. So nauseous and it's your fault.
My fault?
I'm pregnant.
Congratulations.
Hey, Anouk.
Whoa, jeez.
I imagined it so differently. I...
Oh, sweet.
No. Go away. Get Natasja.
We really have to make it soundproof.
That's no problem.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is big enough.
Yeah, we'll put a door in that wall.
So you can enter the studio
from both sides.
- Exactly.
- You're not doing anything here.
This is my office.
Well, I guess you'll still have to move.
Sorry.
- Well, he doesn't do shit anyway.
- Hello, this is research, okay?
- Who writes all the stories around here?
- Ah!
Here you are. The architect's here.
Yeah, I'll be right there.
We'll find you a room, John.
- No worries.
- Goddamn it.
Can I be of assistance?
With your research?
Hi. Alexander.
Ramon.
Frank's not here, so he asked me
to show you around.
Well, this could use
a little more provocation, right?
Provocation?
Yeah, less tame.
Right? This whole space
absolutely screams to be stripped down.
And then maybe create
a great statement piece on this wall.
Something to impress.
A large tapestry or a mural painting.
Yeah, sounds good.
- Shall we start the tour, then?
- Yeah.
Okay.
Well, the light's great.
- Why did she wait to call me?
- She's only just found out.
So you're going to be a dad after all.
Despite your slow sperm.
Who says my sperm is slow?
If you don't have it tested...
Sorry. Congratulations.
You think she'll take me back?
I don't know, Frank.
I'm staying out of that.
But Ramon says
you've been keeping quite busy.
Asshole.
We tell each other everything.
First, figure out what you want, okay?
Hey, Willem. That's Willem.
This is the recording studio.
That's where we record the tapes.
Bookkeeping.
And this is the heart of the company
but that doesn't need any work.
This is my domain.
I'll take a peek anyway.
And how is this your domain?
I'm the engineer.
When we first started,
it was just a bunch
of interconnected answering machines
but soon it will be full
of cassette players. From wall to wall.
- May I?
- Yeah, sure.
That's a playback for us to check...
Come on, baby. Come on.
Slide it between my breasts, up and down.
It's the end of the tape,
so there's a lot of...
- Come.
- "Come all over me."
Squirt all over my tits.
Just come.
We're bringing in different lines as well.
Joke lines, weather forecasts
and a stock exchange thing.
Ah! I'm coming!
Do you know that we have met before?
Yes.
At the party at the docks.
So, you do remember.
I don't stick my tongue into just anyone.
Although I hadn't noticed
your wedding ring.
Have you guys
ever considered a gay sex line?
That would make a lot of people happy.
I haven't seen you in a week.
That's all I'm saying.
I have to do everything
by myself with RoXY!
We could have opened a month ago.
- Help, Misch! Calm down, will you?
- I am not calm!
Jan, are you alright?
Who wants to come to The Rijk?
- Sorry, I'm broke.
- Yeah, me too. End of the month.
As if nobody's going to buy us a drink.
That's what she said to me,
and I said, I told you...
- Come on, let's go say hi.
- No, please, let's not.
Then we know for sure
that we don't have to pay.
Hey, Janna.
- Hey.
- Hey, ladies.
Hello.
So, what would you like to drink?
Yeah, 'cause Frank is buying.
He's going to be a dad.
- What?
- Yeah.
- Congratulations.
- Congratulations.
Now he just needs
to make up with his wife, right?
- Well, let's celebrate.
- Shouldn't you be getting home soon?
Does Natasja let you stay out this late?
I'm just messing with you.
I'd like a beer.
- Yeah, me too.
- I'm Frank.
Seriously.
How many people like me
does he see in a day?
Kidding. Hi.
Marly, right? Sorry about this morning.
- Hey, do you want a beer?
- Yeah, sure.
- To the little demon!
- Well, he's not here yet.
- Johnny is a titties man.
- Where did you get that idea, man?
All your stories are all about tits.
Yeah, the story I got last time
was all about tits.
Yeah, and mine
was all about Swedish style.
Swedish style? What's that?
- In between.
- That's Russian style.
Russian style.
In Italian we call it
"coitus alle mammelle."
- Are you from Italy?
- Can't you tell?
Shouldn't you offer
more variety with those lines?
What, sorry?
Hey.
Well, I mean,
not all men are the same, so...
What turns some men on, others might hate.
Just look at the list of paraphilias.
Bro, someone's been studying hard.
- Para-what?
- Special preferences.
Fetishes.
- Like masochism, exhibitionism, voyeurism.
- Yeah.
You could easily
subdivide those lines into,
for instance, a nurses line,
an air hostess line, an S&M line.
Marly Salomon,
would you please keep your big mouth shut?
We did not teach you this.
- The old hooker line.
- Yeah.
The muff line.
- Well, the gay line.
- That one is for Ronnie.
Yeah, well...
Research shows that one in ten men
have had a homoerotic experience.
- Yeah.
- One in ten?
For one in forty,
it's their sexual preference.
One in thirty.
One in thirty.
Hey, Ramon. That's a lot of people.
Yeah, a lot of people. So?
Yeah, but we have 300 lines
to fill, remember?
And you could even subdivide
into gay and lesbian.
The tomboy line.
- That's the muff line.
- No.
- Sure. Why not?
- Tomboys aren't necessarily gay and...
Still looking for a job?
Yes.
We could use an extra writer.
Twenty guilders per story.
This is what I get
for not keeping my big mouth shut.
Suddenly, creating content for 300 lines
had become my problem.
I needed to come up with 20 sex stories
by the end of the week.
As a test.
I approached the project
like any scientist would.
Step one: a literature review.
I'm sorry, honey. I love you.
Followed by observation.
He wanted to take them.
MAKE-UP SEX
And I said, "Fine, love,
if you want to take my panties home."
"If that's what turns you on."
"But it'll cost you an extra 20 guilders."
"Because I'm not a cheapo."
And field research.
Interesting.
And ultimately,
all this knowledge comes together in
the publication.
Mar, are you coming to class?
Whoa.
- You okay, miss D. H. Lawrence?
- No.
I know nothing about sex.
Don't be silly.
- You know that book by heart.
- Yeah, that's theory.
That's not arousing.
I can't turn that into a story.
Don't take them so seriously, man.
It's not an exam, right?
Yeah, you know me.
It has to be good.
Oh, you're right. This is really bad.
This won't get anyone horny.
Jan.
I just don't know enough about it.
Mar, you just need
to use your own fantasies.
When was the last time
you fantasized about anyone?
You see? Just write about yourself.
Good luck.
Thanks.
The design's by an artist
called Boris van Soest.
High in demand.
Has an exposition in the Stedelijk.
Oh, really?
Thanks, guys.
What this says
is that this is a serious business
with serious, hard-working people.
Yeah.
And we would put it here, right?
- Yeah, right here.
- Uh-huh.
Hey, Alex.
Hi, I'm here
to do a recording for the Bad Boys line.
Okay, you can follow me.
The studio's downstairs.
We started a gay line.
I see.
This is not included
in the price for the remodeling, I guess?
No, it's another thirty thousand on top.
Thirty thousand?
But on a two hundred grand budget...
Two hundred?
It will increase
the value of the property.
We're renting this.
You're renting?
Okay.
Hey, little brother, just in time.
You met our neighbor?
Hi. Bram Heimans.
- Ramon Stigter.
- Ramon is our technical director.
Bram here
just signed up for a year.
I feel like a soccer club.
Yeah,
but I'm way cheaper than Van Basten.
How do you like the sound of this:
"Teledutch presents a stand-up comedy line
with Bram Heimans."
How classy is that?
100,000 GUILDERS
Welcome to Teledutch.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
Frank, can I talk to you for a minute?
About the remodeling. Nice to meet you.
- Frankie, hey.
- Yeah, okay.
Want to hear a joke, Brammie boy?
- A joke?
- Yeah.
I thought we take all decisions together.
Yes.
Is there a problem?
Well, since we seem to be paying
a hundred grand for a joker.
Ramon, that's my department.
I'm not interfering with yours either,
with your studio
and your Neumann and your Sennheiser.
You want to produce top quality too?
Bram Heimans is top quality.
Do you realize
what he can do for our image?
Jokes. Frank, a joke line.
With his fucking stand-up. You think
people will pay 50 cents per minute
to listen to that leftist clown?
- I don't think so, man.
- That's not the point.
It's about what it looks like
on the ads page.
- "Teledutch Presents Bram Heimans."
- Jesus.
Yeah, I'm trying
to give this company a bit of class.
Oh yeah. And so we're restyling
this joint for 200 grand
because you...
because mister wants to buy us class?
Frank, we're renting here!
Have you ever listened
to what's on those tapes?
Like really listened to it?
- You just can't see it.
- What?
We're not a bunch of sex peddlers, man.
Three hundred lines is nothing.
What we're doing is the future.
There's no end to it.
In two weeks time,
we'll open the renewed Teledutch.
And that's just the start. Trust me.
Two hundred grand
is nothing compared to
what you and I are going to be raking in.
Frankie, come on, man.
Hey, Nien. How about another bottle?
Yes, Ramon Stigter for Alexander.
That mural painting
in the reception is a definite go.
Our fantasies tell us something
about our deepest problems and desires.
Why don't you bend over, Mr. Jansen.
That which we allow no one to see.
Yes, sir. I've been very naughty.
Don't look at me,
you miserable scuzzbucket.
Because there's nothing scarier
than baring your all.
And we're recording.
But there's no need
to be yourself.
I'm sitting here with Monique.
And Monique works in the men's
fashion department of a large chain store.
Monique, why don't you tell us
what you look like?
Well, I have this very long,
red curly hair, down to my buttocks.
And I have big fat boobs that sit
very snugly in my tight little blouse.
And at the moment,
I'm wearing this really short skirt
that just shows a glimpse of my buttocks.
Sometimes I can't control myself
then I just have to slip
into the fitting room.
Wow, Monique.
So, that's why I thought,
instead of these stories,
we could do interviews.
And the only thing we need
is a few key words.
"Who, what, where, and when."
So, I'm wearing,
you know, this white uniform.
And underneath,
I'm naked.
So, to summarize, you hear
a conversation between two people,
but our imagination starts working,
which makes it sound all the more real.
So then, you know, I rub down my body
with a nice massage oil.
Yeah?
And then I slowly
let myself slide onto him.
The number of lines
we could come up with was endless.
At night when the kids were asleep
he came into my room.
Yeah, right here!
Take me on the counter! Oh, yes!
Don't look at me,
you miserable little creature.
Yes, I'm coming! Fuck me!
It wasn't just my imagination
that was stimulated.
Even the men got inspired.
Ice cold, boys.
If we're doing audio plays anyway,
then why not add sound effects
to them as well?
Great idea. Come here.
Cat slurping saucer of milk.
And so all of the Netherlands
was jerking off
to the sound of a pussycat
slurping up a saucer of milk.
Open your mouth.
Or the sound of...
Let me pee in your mouth.
That's so good.
Okay, so we'll record two couples
at the same time,
and we'll pretend that they're swingers.
Marly, what do you think?
All of a sudden, I'd become the expert.
Or, as Frank called it, the sexpert.
Yeah, okay. And we'll call it the...
the couples club?
Yeah.
- Good one.
- Yeah, that's a good one.
- Gezellig spel, hè?
- Nou, een zenuwenspel.
Blauw. Prima.
- O, wacht effe,
- Nee, we doen niks.
- Deze kant.
- Ik doe niks.
Wit. Beetje hier. Jij gooien.
Hey.
You're up again.
Can I get you anything?
My body back.
- Niet zo hard gooien.
- Niet zo hard gooien.
Ga door.
Rood.
I've got something for you.
Jij moet gooien.
We zijn er bijna. Bijna.
This was Lucas' first little sock.
I think he wore it only once
before he'd outgrown it.
Eva... Ja!
This is what you're doing it for.
U heeft een droomreis
gewonnen, naar Los Angeles en New York.
En voor dit geweldige avontuur
krijgt u nog extra duizend gulden mee.
Merci. Hartelijk dank.
En ik wens je een fijne...
Zij gaan naar Los Angeles.
Pas op de champagne.
Welcome to
the Teledutch Drive-In Show Extravaganza!
This is how Ramon and I
first went into business together.
I was 16.
I was 14.
Ramon was 14,
and with our own DJ drive-in set,
we did the rounds at village fêtes.
And especially for you guys tonight,
we've dusted off our old set
and we'll play,
for one night only, no naughty sex tapes
but bad records!
Yeah!
To salut the renewed Teledutch
with all of you.
It may have been
a hundred grand more expensive.
Yeah, very funny.
But holy shit, Alexander,
it turned out so beautiful.
You are a true artist.
I would like to...
I would like to thank a few more people,
of course. Without you guys...
You would be a couple of broke fuckers!
Johnny.
Johnny, you had the guts to invest in us
when no one else
could see what we were about. Thank you.
Hey, Tsjibbe, where you at? Tsjibbe!
Boom.
And Ronnie, our amazing sound engineer.
Thank you so much.
He's single, gentlemen. Hey.
- Not really funny. But whatever.
- Not really.
Nina. The face of Teledutch.
And last but not least,
Ramon.
Ramon!
Brother, this adventure
is not my adventure, it's our adventure.
I couldn't have done it without you.
Thank you.
Oh, wait. I'm totally forgetting someone.
And that's all of you
working to record those dirty tapes.
Give it up for DJ Ramon!
Do you know how I know
that there is no God?
By our genitals.
Look, the perfect God, right?
Who supposedly
created man in his own image,
simply couldn't be responsible
for something like the ball sack.
No? Not a funny joke?
I'll soon be recording
for one of those lines
and I thought I'd test it out, but...
- I'm laughing on the inside.
- Oh, okay, right.
Well, actually,
it's not even one of mine, it's...
No, it's one of Nietzsche's.
What have we got here?
So you're not only pretty, but...
He phrased it with less humor.
Who'd have thought
that in this Sodom and Gomorrah,
I'd meet a like-minded soul this evening.
Well.
- Want to dance?
- Yeah.
Frankie. Frank. Take one. Go on.
Oh, party.
- Cheers.
- Cheers, Johnny.
Pretty lady.
A bit young, maybe?
So, I guess this is your choice.
Do I have a choice?
Anouk is pregnant, remember?
She kicked me out, you know?
There's a whole army of people
looking after her,
including Ramon and me, 24/7.
And you do nothing.
Here.
A small gift.
You could put it on your dick
before you knock her up too.
Hey, I've got to go.
- We'll talk later.
- Bye.
Are you happy with the new artwork?
Absolutely.
It's just what the business needed.
Thank you.
That's great.
Hey, I'm going home to relieve babysitter.
Are you staying?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- Sorry. I'm Natasja, Ramon's wife.
- Alexander.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Alexander did the interior decorating.
Wow, amazing work.
Our house is in bad need of a makeover.
Maybe we can hire you.
Yeah, sure.
It was a joy working with Ramon.
Well, I don't make the decisions at home.
- Why don't you go ahead? Yeah?
- Okay.
- I'll take a cab home. Don't worry.
- Have fun then.
It's really amazing, guys.
She seems nice, man.
Yeah.
So, when's the RoXY opening up?
Maybe I could drop by sometime?
- Don't bother.
- Don't bother?
I...
I really can't help you, Ramon.
I know what it's like. I've been there.
And I think you're great, but...
I don't feel
like going through that same hell again.
So if you want to,
then do it for you,
not for me or anyone else.
But do it.
Otherwise it will tear you apart.
Sexual attraction
is a mysterious phenomenon.
It goes far beyond a person's appearance.
Was it matching pheromones?
His scent?
The fact that someone as famous as him
was the only one who took notice of me?
Made me laugh?
I'm sure I would have gone home with him.
The problem with men is that
they notoriously say the wrong thing.
Feel like coming home with me tonight?
So far, so good.
I've never done it
with a Black woman before.
No. Sorry. No.
Sorry?
Why sorry?
Why do you want to have sex
a Black woman so badly?
Is it different? Please enlighten me
because I can't do special tricks
with my cunt, if that's what you think.
And I know nothing
about unusual Surinamese positions,
and I won't do any limbo dancing
on your cock.
Are you still interested, Bram?
Guys,
I completely forgot to thank Marly.
Our own sexpert.
Give it up for Marly!
My mother always said
every person has a role to play in life.
But the challenge
is to discover what your role might be.
And this one is for Ronnie.
♪ Come on people let us use our... ♪
I'd become so good
at hiding who I was
that I thought I was a mere extra
in the lives of others.
♪ Somebody tell me now ♪
♪ Believe in destiny ♪
And that all changed
the moment I dared being loud again.
♪ Why, tell me why
Tell me why, tell me why do I pray ♪
Extremely loud.
♪ Why, tell me why
Tell me why, tell me why do I pray ♪
♪ I hope that freedom
Soon will come our way ♪
♪ Somebody tell me now ♪
MEN ONLY
...without seeing you,
I can feel your hands on my body.
I rake my nails down your back.
I pull you close.
I place my hand on your pants
and feel your cock slowly go hard.
This is Anouk's answering machine.
And Frank's.
And Frank's too.
Please leave your message after the...
Beep.
Hey, Poekie.
It's me.
Frank?
Please come home.
Yes!
There!
Oh, go on!
Oh, I love it.
Come on.
Go on.
Deeper!
Harder!
Go on!
Yes!
Yeah!