Dirty John (2018–…): Season 1, Episode 4 - Shrapnel - full transcript
Debra confronts John; Arlane's past is revealed.
- Previously,
on "Dirty John"...
- Rocket-propelled grenade.
The guy who was next to me
in the Humvee died.
- You're saying
he wasn't there?
- I'm just saying
he wasn't in Iraq
when you keep saying he was.
- Who the hell's "TS"?
"Can't wait
for tomorrow night."
Who is it?
- Toby, my nephew.
Toby Sellars?
- Excuse me.
Be right back.
- Who's that?
Is that--
- Yeah, it's my brother-in-law.
Ex-brother--
- Your brother-in-law?
You should be glad your dad
killed your mom
so she didn't have
to be around to see this.
- Did you open my mail?
How dare you!
It's a felony
to open someone's mail.
- In California and Ohio
he's been in prison.
- So then what should I do?
- If you have a will
and he's in it, take him out.
- Call someone, Deb!
- Oh, my God!
What's going on?
- I don't know.
- He was fine, and then
he just collapsed.
- Could you help me understand
his history with narcotics?
- If you were me,
what would you do?
Would you leave?
- Stay in hotels
or places you've never
stayed before.
Dye your hair, probably.
Make yourself
a difficult target.
- You just have
to give it time.
- I can't.
- You--you just have
to give it a chance to work.
I know, I know, I do,
but it just feels wrong.
It feels wrong.
- But they said it would,
remember?
They--they said that it would
feel counterintuitive.
That's what Mr.--
um, your counselor said.
That to make a marriage work
that, you know, it seems like
we should hang on much tighter
and stay even closer,
but that sometimes
a, um--a separation
can bring a new perspective.
Said it would only work
if we both had the same goals,
if we were both honest...
- Right.
- About wanting it to work
but Cindi isn't.
She's pretending she does
but she doesn't.
- Why do you say that?
- It was the only way left
to show him
that we really tried
hard enough.
- Hard enough to what?
- To save the marriage.
So he can accept
that it can't be saved.
- Well, that's not what
he thought was happening.
He went there in good faith.
Of course he did.
I mean, the whole thing
was his idea.
Years of not listening to me,
of trying to control
everything that I do,
I finally say that I want
to leave, that I am leaving,
and then he wants to go
to counseling.
- Cindi...
- So someone can tell me
to try harder.
Tell me to be happy
my whole life not being allowed
to wear a bikini on the beach.
Not being allowed
to go grocery shopping alone
or do anything alone.
- I always encouraged her to be
whatever she wanted to be.
Said I never gave her room
to grow.
I asked, "Grow into what?"
She won't ever tell me.
I've known her my whole life.
I can't remember a time
when I didn't love her.
- I'm the love of his life
because I've just been there
his whole life.
We were babies.
We didn't know any better.
You were right.
You told me that we were
too young to get married
and I didn't listen.
Debbie listened and I didn't
and you were right,
like you always are.
And now here we are.
- Don't be so dramatic.
And I say that as someone
who's on your side.
- But you don't want me
to be happy.
- I want to stop you
from making a mistake
that you won't be able to fix.
And you're almost there.
You've been together so long.
You were both so young.
When Cindi thinks about
what she thinks she's missed
it's easier for her
to just blame you.
It's easier for her to say
that you're in her way
and that she wants a new start
rather than make
the life she has
into the life that she wants.
When we choose what we want,
what we feel right now,
over what we promised--
what we swore to somebody...
♪
That can haunt us
the rest of our lives.
♪
- Well, I would choose
whatever comes next
to be free right now.
I would choose being haunted
my whole life, Mom.
♪
- She wants a divorce.
She's not saying it yet
but she will.
And what am I gonna do?
- She's--she's confused.
She's just confused.
- Can you just tell me
that you at least understand
what I'm saying?
♪
- Trust in the Lord
with all your heart
and lean not
on your own understandings.
In all your ways
acknowledge Him
and He will direct your path.
♪
- You love that one.
- Mm.
- You love the whole
Book of Proverbs,
but you really love that one.
- Because it's true.
He directs our paths.
- Bobby, hey!
Uh, Frank left
for work already.
Did he tell you
he was gonna be here?
- No, I--I figured
he wouldn't.
Said he wouldn't need to be.
Said I could come by any time
and you could help me out.
- Yeah, sure.
- The loading dock's
right next to where we park.
It's always lit, but still.
Three muggings
in the last five weeks.
I'm a manager now, so I gotta
lock up at nights, too, so--
- Wow, I had no idea
it had gotten so dangerous.
Poor Cindi must wait up
all night worrying about you.
I know I would.
Oh, finally.
♪
Here.
Now, don't you go holding up
a liquor store or anything.
- Pretty sure I'm not gonna be
doing that.
Good looking out, though.
- Mm-hmm.
♪
♪
- He steals drugs
from hospitals--
which he's been to prison for,
by the way--
and for the stalking.
- I saw all that stuff
in there.
I get it, I do.
- Okay, so how many
restraining orders
do there have to be
from how many different people
before you do your job?
- Well, right now
I am seeing which law
I can actually enforce
in this particular situation
that we have right here.
Okay, "John Meehan."
Parole officer
has Bay Front Avenue
on Balboa
as his current address.
Nice.
You live there too, miss?
- Yes.
- Okay.
He's not on the lease, though,
is that right?
"John Meehan"?
- No.
Does it--
how do you know that?
- Well, it says PO asked
for a copy of the lease
to confirm, but Meehan told her
he couldn't give her one
'cause it wasn't in his name.
- Given his history
of conning women,
she didn't maybe think that
that was a red flag?
- She did, actually.
File says she was planning
to make an unannounced
site visit
to check his story out.
- Okay, except how about
she did not do that?
- He's not the only parolee
she's gotta keep tabs on.
And he gave her the address
in mid-December,
so she probably just hasn't
had time to get there.
You two were pen pals
when he was in the joint?
- No.
- So it just all happened
pretty fast, then,
once he got out.
You guys meeting,
getting together I guess.
- Is that what you guess?
Do you think
you're being subtle?
- Look, I--
- Because you are not.
Do you not think that my mother
is already upset enough
over this?
You think she wants
to come here
so you can make her feel worse?
Think that's why she pays
her taxes?
So she can come into
your office
and you can shame her?
Is that what you think?
- Look, that's not
what I think.
- Good.
- I'm sorry.
But what I do think is there's
not a whole lot I can do.
Right.
So that means you can
do nothing, right?
- What I mean is,
since he's paid his recent debt
to society, what I have
is a bad guy
with a bad history
who, so far as we know,
hasn't actually broken
a law in Newport Beach.
I can't even pick him up
for failure to report
to his PO.
Whatever this is he's up to,
he's good at it.
But he's on our radar now--
my radar--
and if he makes a move--
- When.
When he makes a move.
- We'll be on him
like a ton of bricks.
You have my word on that.
Right now that's all I got.
- Oh, what about this place?
- I designed the club
at that place.
John might remember.
Anyway, you know,
I'm pretending I'm going
on a spa vacation.
- This place looks good.
- I don't want
to hemorrhage money.
That place
is so expensive, Ronnie.
- So where, then?
Huh?
- Don't get frustrated with me
in addition
to everything else right now.
- We can't go to Grandma's,
and you can't go to Trey's
'cause he knows
where both of them live,
and I'm out
of the penthouse already.
Although, technically that is
still paid for
through the end of the month,
but that's like ground zero
for this whole
stupid situation.
- What about one
of those places, you know,
over by the Spectrum?
You know those places?
- Like, one of the
corporate suites?
- Yeah.
- With the shower curtains?
They have self-parking, mom.
- I know, but I have to go
to a place that I wouldn't
normally go, you know?
I don't want to stand out.
I don't want to do
my normal routine.
I don't want John to find me.
- We should pay for the room
in cash.
Maybe you would know
if he was monitoring
your credit cards, but maybe
you wouldn't, you know?
Let's go find an ATM.
♪
♪
I got it.
Oh, my God.
It's not so bad.
I mean, at least you're not
here forever, right?
- Right.
- It's dark and musty.
You know there's
no room service here, right?
- That's all right.
I--I'm not--
I'm not really hungry anyway.
- Did you call the hospital?
- I did, and, you know, I--
I talked to the nurse
who was sitting
right in front of John.
He's not going anywhere.
She says his fever
is very high
and they're watching
his immune system.
Post-surgery or something.
Let's hope they forget
to sanitize, huh?
But I should go.
- Oh, okay.
- Are you gonna be okay here
on your own?
- Yes.
- You sure?
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay.
You call me if you need me.
- Okay.
Thank you, hun.
♪
♪
- I've figured it out now,
I guess.
I don't understand
where you are, Deb.
♪
I don't understand
what's happening.
♪
Maybe I do.
I just...
don't want to believe
you're a coward.
You promised me
this was forever.
We promised that
to each other.
Well, I guess
you didn't mean it.
♪
But I did.
The choices we make
show who we are.
I know who you are now, Deb.
♪
Pray for me, at least.
Okay?
'Cause I'm praying for you.
- Try it again.
♪ Two--one, two, three
Tuck that...
Coming back down.
Okay, keep going.
I'll be right back.
Hello?
- Hi, Mom, it's Cindi.
Hi!
- Are you teaching all day?
- Yes--uh, yeah.
Most of the day, yeah.
- Think you can take a break?
- Um, about noon.
Uh, I could maybe move
one of my students.
- No, noon is good.
I just want to tell you
what's happening.
- Okay, well--
well, come hungry.
I'll make us a special lunch.
- I'll see you at 12:00.
I love you.
- Okay.
You, too.
Bye.
Oh, Cindi, Cindi, Cindi.
Oh, Megan.
- Sorry I'm early.
My mom had to drop me off...
- Oh, that's fine, honey.
That's fine, I was just--
- Is Mom here?
- No, Toby, honey,
I'm sorry.
No, I--I must have
heard her wrong.
Um, I'll send her
right in to you
when she gets here, okay?
♪
Did I make it worse for you?
Because I liked him so much?
Did I make it harder for you
to see who he really was?
- No.
Mom, I--I don't think I...
ever saw who he really was.
- What the kids told me--
what they found out is--
is just unbelievable.
- Mm-hmm.
- I--I can't wrap
my mind around it.
You know...
there was something
that I felt around him.
I don't know, something...
missing in him, you know?
- Yeah.
Honesty.
That was it.
Oh, we're laughing about it.
Oh, my goodness.
But you know, that thing
that I felt...
I--it never was about you,
Debbie.
Always thought he loved you.
- I did too.
I still--I still kinda do.
Is that crazy?
- No, 'cause you're wonderful.
How could he not love you?
- Oh, I don't know.
Is it worse or better
to know that...
he did this to women
before you?
- You know, he didn't--
he didn't do anything
to me, really, except lie.
- But to lie...
about being in prison?
- I know.
- Stalking women and--and...
Oh, my goodness, he's not even
a doctor.
I mean, what--what kind
of a person does that?
What--what must be, you know,
inside him to do something
like that?
- I don't know.
- Well...
how could you know?
How could you?
- But I do wonder, you know,
'cause...
nobody's without sin.
And...
everybody can be saved.
You say it all the time.
You know, nobody's perfect.
Everybody has something.
- But, Debbie, you--
you didn't do anything
to deserve this.
What did you do to--
to deserve for--
for him to hurt you like that?
To betray you.
- I don't know.
- You did nothing.
You did nothing.
- I know.
- Are you Mrs. Hart?
Arlane Hart?
- Yes.
- Could we come in?
- O--of course.
♪
You did nothing wrong.
Thank God you found out now.
Thank God that you're away
from him.
'Cause I couldn't lose
another daughter.
I can't, I can't.
♪
- Are you home alone,
Mrs. Hart?
- N--no, no.
My grandson, he's--
he's watching TV.
He's--he's 11.
What--what is it?
- Ma'am...
there's been a shooting.
- What, is it--
is it Bobby?
Is it Bobby who's been--
who's been shot?
- Ma'am, your daughter,
Cindi Sellars, has been shot.
- Oh...
uh, how--how bad is she?
- I'm sorry.
She--
She didn't make it.
- Your son-in-law
shot your daughter...
And then he shot himself.
- O-oh...
Is--is he dead?
- No, he shot himself
in the chest area.
He's at the hospital
in custody.
I--I...
I--I have...
♪
Oh, please, help me.
Oh, please.
Oh, please.
I--I can do this.
I'm not alone.
I can do this.
- Could it be Mr. Rogers?
You're in the neighborhood.
- Have a seat.
- Toby?
Hi, sweetie.
- You are the first lad...
- Something's happened.
Something terrible
has happened.
- Why are policemen here?
- Um...
well, they--they came
to tell me...
that your father has shot
and killed your mother.
That she is dead.
Y--your Daddy's okay.
He--he shot himself, too,
but he's okay.
He's not dead.
He's in the hospital
right now.
♪
- It's okay.
We can do this.
♪
But we have to be strong.
So strong.
It's gonna be so, so hard...
but Jesus will help us.
And we have each other,
and we have Him,
and we will get through this
together.
All of us.
♪
And, um--okay.
I--I have to--
I have to go...
make some phone--
some phone calls,
and so you watch
a little more TV, okay?
And I will come back
in a bit and get you.
Okay, love bug?
- I can be strong
with you, Grandma.
- Mm.
I know you can, my sweet boy.
♪
- The good news is,
you're free of him now.
You know, you're here,
you're safe.
That's all I care about.
Thank you.
Some of the stuff
me and Ronnie found out
about this guy?
He's a con man, you know?
He wanted money for drugs
and all that stuff
but he was more than that.
What he really wants
is for people
to remember him.
He wanted these women
to live in fear of him,
which is crazy.
That'd be like the one thing
that I would ask him about
if I ever saw him again,
you know?
"Why?"
Not that'd ever
explain himself to me.
- I don't know.
He might.
- Mm.
He said this one woman
was like his project.
Did you feel that way?
- No.
No, I just...
felt like he loved me.
- I mean, he's one heck
of a liar, right?
I'm sure part of it's true,
you know.
He must have felt that way
a little bit
to convince people like that.
Like you.
♪
I could never
really understand...
what happened to Mom, you know.
Why, uh...
why Dad did that thing to her.
Because he loved her too much?
♪
Sometimes I still
don't understand, you know?
- Mm.
- But...
this thing with John...
why he does these things...
it almost makes that
seem simple.
- I'm so sorry.
I am so, so sorry.
- When--when you would
come and--
and talk to me about--
Did you already know
you were gonna do it?
Yes.
To myself, um...
I wanted to do it to myself.
Not to her.
I mean, not her.
Not ever.
- How are you?
You're wearing--
It doesn't matter.
- Do you still want to die?
- Yes, but...
I don't deserve to.
I should live every day
of a long life in here
thinking about her.
How's Toby?
- Scared.
For you.
For...
where you are and what might be
happening to you.
- You tell him not to be.
You just tell him,
"Don't be scared."
- You killed my daughter,
Bobby.
I hate what you've done.
- More than I've ever hated
anything in this whole world.
♪
But you loved her.
I know that.
- God has given us
all of this love
we have for each other.
♪
Long ago, he showed us
who you are.
So we love you.
♪
Still.
♪
We all do.
Still.
♪
How--how can you say that?
Can any hide himself
in secret places
that I shall not see him?
♪
In the Lord we have redemption
through His blood.
♪
The forgiveness
of our trespasses...
♪
According to the riches
of His grace.
♪
- Deb, I'm sorry.
I am so...
so sorry.
- No.
I don't want
to hear anything...
from you except...
I want to know.
- What do you want to know?
What do you want to know?
- Why'd you do all that?
- You heard what I told...
the Sergeant.
About the drugs.
The pain management program.
There's no...
I'm the program.
I'm an addict.
I'm in pain all the time.
- Oh, yeah, from shrapnel.
You said from shrapnel...
- I know.
- That hit the Jeep
and took out guys
you were working with in Iraq.
- I know.
- You said--you said
you had a nursing degree
and a--
a structure PhD
that made you an MD.
You're not a doctor, John.
- I don't know.
It was easier, lazier.
My ego, whatever.
To say "doctor," I just--
you're so successful,
and I wanted--
I just wanted...
- So it's my fault?
- To be great for you.
- So now this is my fault
that you--that you lied to me?
- I wanted to be great for you.
- You're not a nurse,
you're not a doctor.
You don't have any...
- No, that's not true.
- Any license.
- That's not true.
I had an appeal with
the California medical board
last October,
and they granted me
a conditional license--
just--only in this state--
so I could keep working until
things got cleared up.
So whoever told you that,
they--they do not have
the latest result...
- You know what...
- From the medical
appeals board.
- I don't even care about that.
You know, I wanna know about
all the other things
way back before that.
- What other things?
- "What other things?"
You tell me, John.
Those papers
in the drawer?
- You went in the office.
You saw what was in the office.
Oh, God.
- Yeah.
I saw that stuff.
What was that stuff?
- My ex, Tonia.
She was having an affair.
She got the divorce
to be with him.
He got bored, so she pretended
to be scared of me.
She filed a restraining order
just to show him.
Just to keep him interested.
- There's so many
restraining orders.
- They are not me!
They're people with, like,
a similar name--
- Well, then how come cops
and lawyers
and people that, you know,
get paid to find
these things out, they...
they say they are you.
- I have asked myself
that question so many times.
I don't know the answer.
I mean, maybe the people
that, you know,
put the information in
do it wrong.
I don't know,
but you do a database search
and they all come up.
I tried to get a lawyer
to, like, separate me
from them, expunge them.
You can do that if you can
afford a lawyer,
but I couldn't.
- I found so many
other things, John.
What about the cops in Laguna?
They said you--you tried
to kill them.
- Come on.
No charges were ever filed.
Just because someone files
a report doesn't mean
that's what happened.
It's nothing.
Once you're in the system,
the cops, they just keep
pulling your chain.
You're the bad guy.
It's so easy for them,
and, you know...
No one stops them
or checks on them.
- Did you build a gun?
The police say
they found knives,
they found cyanide.
Why would you have cyanide?
- I wasn't gonna tell you
this stuff because...
So much of what I thought
I had done to myself...
with the drugs--
the numbness,
the tingling, the--
the balance, everything...
It turns out it was MS.
Which is impossible to treat,
so I told myself...
That if it ever got too much
that the cyanide would help me.
And it did help me
just knowing that I had it.
But I'd have done that
I would never have met you.
After Tonia got me arrested...
when I was awaiting trial,
I went to a motel...
With my med bag...
And a bottle of vodka...
But I didn't have
the right sized syringe,
so I didn't die.
I passed out and I fell
off the bed
and I woke up...
♪
Covered in blood
from the bottle
waiting for someone to find me.
I told you it was shrapnel...
but I'm the shrapnel.
The drugs...
♪
They explode me.
They make me lie,
they make me steal...
and they make me hurt
the people
that I love the most.
Especially you.
Can I just say one thing
before you go?
♪
All those times that I said
that you deserve the best?
I meant it.
You're incredible.
I lied.
I lied about me,
about my past,
about my job...
♪
But not about you.
I never lied about how much
I love you, Deb.
♪
Hey, uh, we don't have
a receptionist
right at the moment.
She, um--
who is your appointment with?
- I'm here to see
Gregory Reedus.
- Oh, that's me.
both: Hi.
- Greg.
- I'm Arlane Hart.
I'm Cindi Sellar's mother.
- Yeah, I know who you, um--
I can't, uh, talk to you.
- Mr. Reedus...
- I'm really sorry, but I--
I can't.
- Mr. Reedus, you have
to let me--
- Maybe you're confused,
which is normal and it's fine,
but, uh, Lisa Usher
at the DA's office, she, uh--
she would be the one
who you should, uh, talk to.
- I--I know
whose lawyer you are.
- Okay, so...
then why are you here?
- Mom, it's me.
- Uh, hi, hun.
- Hi!
- Hi.
- I got you a chai latte.
- Thank you.
- My God, this room
is even uglier in daylight.
- What were you doing?
- Oh, you know,
I'm trying to get
some work done.
- Nice.
- What's that?
- Oh, it's a GPS tracker.
I put it on your car
at Christmas.
- You put it on my car?
- Yeah.
To follow John, remember?
- Oh.
No, I did not remember.
- Yeah, I said that one of us
should put one on there,
and you said if it would
make me happy I should do it...
So I did.
Well, I--I don't think
I was serious, Ronnie.
- Well, okay.
I mean, it didn't show
anything that weird, so...
I forgot to take it off
your car so I did that
this morning.
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
Did you get the annulment?
- Yep.
Yeah, I did.
I--I, you know, signed all
the paperwork, and...
- Good.
- Mm-hmm.
- What about the will?
- I changed the will
and had it notarized, so...
- God damn, who is texting you
so much?
- Oh.
Well, I mean, I'm not
in the office so, you know,
they're just trying
to track me down.
- Yep.
Speaking of which...
I should go.
- Thanks for coming by,
sweetie.
- Of course.
- Mm.
- It's nice.
Oh.
- I love you so much.
- I love you, too.
So much.
Okay, but you're
squishing me now.
- Oh.
God, that was quite
the squeeze.
- Well, I love you.
- Yeah.
I'll see you later.
Remember, we're FaceTiming
Terra at 3:00.
- Oh, yes.
- So I'll see you then, right?
- Okay.
Thank you for this--
for the chai.
- Bye.
- Bye.
♪
- Ma'am.
- Thank you.
♪
♪
- When was the last time
you spoke to Bobby
prior to the incident?
- That morning, actually,
at our house.
He and Toby were staying
at our house.
- When was the last time
that you spoke to Bobby
about the state of his
and Cindi's marriage?
- Um, that was Wednesday
the fourth.
Three days before.
- What's he like
in that conversation?
What's his demeanor?
- Oh, he was so upset
and--and crying so hard.
He just felt that things
were over between them
and he was so lost.
- How long had you been aware,
uh, that the marriage
was in trouble?
- By the time Cindi spoke to us
it seemed as if things
were already very bad.
But when Bobby spoke to me...
um, he seemed completely
taken by surprise.
Completely surprised,
and he wanted to save it.
- Because he loved her.
- Oh, so much.
He loved her so much.
- Did he tell you
any of the things
that he had done to try
and save the marriage?
- He, um, had changed
some of his behavior.
Um, he went to see
our pastor with her.
They went to counseling--
months of counseling.
Um, he agreed
to a separation,
agreed to sell their house.
You know, to live separately
for perspective
and for...
absence to make her heart
grow fonder.
And, um...
and he spoke to me.
You can imagine,
a man having to come
to his mother-in-law
for help...
and to cry in front of her.
- And did any of the things
that he tried work?
- No.
Um, he was doing it thinking
that he could--
if he did, he could keep
Cindi with him, but...
you know, I--I don't think
he ever had a chance,
and when he came
to realize that...
- Prior to the incident,
how did you feel about Bobby?
- Oh, I--I loved him.
Loved him very much.
He had such a pure heart.
I mean, his--his whole life
was Cindi and Toby.
Um, working for their family,
their life together
as a--as a family.
- How do you feel
about him now?
- I still love him.
- You love him.
- I do.
- Even after everything
that happened?
- Bobby asked me
the same question.
- Because it's very difficult
to understand,
if not impossible.
- Bobby did a--
a terrible thing.
♪
The worst thing.
I hate what he did.
And I told him that, I--I did.
But if he had been
in his right mind
he could never have done that.
So what he did doesn't...
doesn't change what I believe
about him.
♪
I can still love Bobby,
and I forgive him...
because I want to forgive him.
Because of what I know.
I know...
his heart was full of love.
♪
He just--
he just lost his way.
♪
♪
♪
on "Dirty John"...
- Rocket-propelled grenade.
The guy who was next to me
in the Humvee died.
- You're saying
he wasn't there?
- I'm just saying
he wasn't in Iraq
when you keep saying he was.
- Who the hell's "TS"?
"Can't wait
for tomorrow night."
Who is it?
- Toby, my nephew.
Toby Sellars?
- Excuse me.
Be right back.
- Who's that?
Is that--
- Yeah, it's my brother-in-law.
Ex-brother--
- Your brother-in-law?
You should be glad your dad
killed your mom
so she didn't have
to be around to see this.
- Did you open my mail?
How dare you!
It's a felony
to open someone's mail.
- In California and Ohio
he's been in prison.
- So then what should I do?
- If you have a will
and he's in it, take him out.
- Call someone, Deb!
- Oh, my God!
What's going on?
- I don't know.
- He was fine, and then
he just collapsed.
- Could you help me understand
his history with narcotics?
- If you were me,
what would you do?
Would you leave?
- Stay in hotels
or places you've never
stayed before.
Dye your hair, probably.
Make yourself
a difficult target.
- You just have
to give it time.
- I can't.
- You--you just have
to give it a chance to work.
I know, I know, I do,
but it just feels wrong.
It feels wrong.
- But they said it would,
remember?
They--they said that it would
feel counterintuitive.
That's what Mr.--
um, your counselor said.
That to make a marriage work
that, you know, it seems like
we should hang on much tighter
and stay even closer,
but that sometimes
a, um--a separation
can bring a new perspective.
Said it would only work
if we both had the same goals,
if we were both honest...
- Right.
- About wanting it to work
but Cindi isn't.
She's pretending she does
but she doesn't.
- Why do you say that?
- It was the only way left
to show him
that we really tried
hard enough.
- Hard enough to what?
- To save the marriage.
So he can accept
that it can't be saved.
- Well, that's not what
he thought was happening.
He went there in good faith.
Of course he did.
I mean, the whole thing
was his idea.
Years of not listening to me,
of trying to control
everything that I do,
I finally say that I want
to leave, that I am leaving,
and then he wants to go
to counseling.
- Cindi...
- So someone can tell me
to try harder.
Tell me to be happy
my whole life not being allowed
to wear a bikini on the beach.
Not being allowed
to go grocery shopping alone
or do anything alone.
- I always encouraged her to be
whatever she wanted to be.
Said I never gave her room
to grow.
I asked, "Grow into what?"
She won't ever tell me.
I've known her my whole life.
I can't remember a time
when I didn't love her.
- I'm the love of his life
because I've just been there
his whole life.
We were babies.
We didn't know any better.
You were right.
You told me that we were
too young to get married
and I didn't listen.
Debbie listened and I didn't
and you were right,
like you always are.
And now here we are.
- Don't be so dramatic.
And I say that as someone
who's on your side.
- But you don't want me
to be happy.
- I want to stop you
from making a mistake
that you won't be able to fix.
And you're almost there.
You've been together so long.
You were both so young.
When Cindi thinks about
what she thinks she's missed
it's easier for her
to just blame you.
It's easier for her to say
that you're in her way
and that she wants a new start
rather than make
the life she has
into the life that she wants.
When we choose what we want,
what we feel right now,
over what we promised--
what we swore to somebody...
♪
That can haunt us
the rest of our lives.
♪
- Well, I would choose
whatever comes next
to be free right now.
I would choose being haunted
my whole life, Mom.
♪
- She wants a divorce.
She's not saying it yet
but she will.
And what am I gonna do?
- She's--she's confused.
She's just confused.
- Can you just tell me
that you at least understand
what I'm saying?
♪
- Trust in the Lord
with all your heart
and lean not
on your own understandings.
In all your ways
acknowledge Him
and He will direct your path.
♪
- You love that one.
- Mm.
- You love the whole
Book of Proverbs,
but you really love that one.
- Because it's true.
He directs our paths.
- Bobby, hey!
Uh, Frank left
for work already.
Did he tell you
he was gonna be here?
- No, I--I figured
he wouldn't.
Said he wouldn't need to be.
Said I could come by any time
and you could help me out.
- Yeah, sure.
- The loading dock's
right next to where we park.
It's always lit, but still.
Three muggings
in the last five weeks.
I'm a manager now, so I gotta
lock up at nights, too, so--
- Wow, I had no idea
it had gotten so dangerous.
Poor Cindi must wait up
all night worrying about you.
I know I would.
Oh, finally.
♪
Here.
Now, don't you go holding up
a liquor store or anything.
- Pretty sure I'm not gonna be
doing that.
Good looking out, though.
- Mm-hmm.
♪
♪
- He steals drugs
from hospitals--
which he's been to prison for,
by the way--
and for the stalking.
- I saw all that stuff
in there.
I get it, I do.
- Okay, so how many
restraining orders
do there have to be
from how many different people
before you do your job?
- Well, right now
I am seeing which law
I can actually enforce
in this particular situation
that we have right here.
Okay, "John Meehan."
Parole officer
has Bay Front Avenue
on Balboa
as his current address.
Nice.
You live there too, miss?
- Yes.
- Okay.
He's not on the lease, though,
is that right?
"John Meehan"?
- No.
Does it--
how do you know that?
- Well, it says PO asked
for a copy of the lease
to confirm, but Meehan told her
he couldn't give her one
'cause it wasn't in his name.
- Given his history
of conning women,
she didn't maybe think that
that was a red flag?
- She did, actually.
File says she was planning
to make an unannounced
site visit
to check his story out.
- Okay, except how about
she did not do that?
- He's not the only parolee
she's gotta keep tabs on.
And he gave her the address
in mid-December,
so she probably just hasn't
had time to get there.
You two were pen pals
when he was in the joint?
- No.
- So it just all happened
pretty fast, then,
once he got out.
You guys meeting,
getting together I guess.
- Is that what you guess?
Do you think
you're being subtle?
- Look, I--
- Because you are not.
Do you not think that my mother
is already upset enough
over this?
You think she wants
to come here
so you can make her feel worse?
Think that's why she pays
her taxes?
So she can come into
your office
and you can shame her?
Is that what you think?
- Look, that's not
what I think.
- Good.
- I'm sorry.
But what I do think is there's
not a whole lot I can do.
Right.
So that means you can
do nothing, right?
- What I mean is,
since he's paid his recent debt
to society, what I have
is a bad guy
with a bad history
who, so far as we know,
hasn't actually broken
a law in Newport Beach.
I can't even pick him up
for failure to report
to his PO.
Whatever this is he's up to,
he's good at it.
But he's on our radar now--
my radar--
and if he makes a move--
- When.
When he makes a move.
- We'll be on him
like a ton of bricks.
You have my word on that.
Right now that's all I got.
- Oh, what about this place?
- I designed the club
at that place.
John might remember.
Anyway, you know,
I'm pretending I'm going
on a spa vacation.
- This place looks good.
- I don't want
to hemorrhage money.
That place
is so expensive, Ronnie.
- So where, then?
Huh?
- Don't get frustrated with me
in addition
to everything else right now.
- We can't go to Grandma's,
and you can't go to Trey's
'cause he knows
where both of them live,
and I'm out
of the penthouse already.
Although, technically that is
still paid for
through the end of the month,
but that's like ground zero
for this whole
stupid situation.
- What about one
of those places, you know,
over by the Spectrum?
You know those places?
- Like, one of the
corporate suites?
- Yeah.
- With the shower curtains?
They have self-parking, mom.
- I know, but I have to go
to a place that I wouldn't
normally go, you know?
I don't want to stand out.
I don't want to do
my normal routine.
I don't want John to find me.
- We should pay for the room
in cash.
Maybe you would know
if he was monitoring
your credit cards, but maybe
you wouldn't, you know?
Let's go find an ATM.
♪
♪
I got it.
Oh, my God.
It's not so bad.
I mean, at least you're not
here forever, right?
- Right.
- It's dark and musty.
You know there's
no room service here, right?
- That's all right.
I--I'm not--
I'm not really hungry anyway.
- Did you call the hospital?
- I did, and, you know, I--
I talked to the nurse
who was sitting
right in front of John.
He's not going anywhere.
She says his fever
is very high
and they're watching
his immune system.
Post-surgery or something.
Let's hope they forget
to sanitize, huh?
But I should go.
- Oh, okay.
- Are you gonna be okay here
on your own?
- Yes.
- You sure?
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay.
You call me if you need me.
- Okay.
Thank you, hun.
♪
♪
- I've figured it out now,
I guess.
I don't understand
where you are, Deb.
♪
I don't understand
what's happening.
♪
Maybe I do.
I just...
don't want to believe
you're a coward.
You promised me
this was forever.
We promised that
to each other.
Well, I guess
you didn't mean it.
♪
But I did.
The choices we make
show who we are.
I know who you are now, Deb.
♪
Pray for me, at least.
Okay?
'Cause I'm praying for you.
- Try it again.
♪ Two--one, two, three
Tuck that...
Coming back down.
Okay, keep going.
I'll be right back.
Hello?
- Hi, Mom, it's Cindi.
Hi!
- Are you teaching all day?
- Yes--uh, yeah.
Most of the day, yeah.
- Think you can take a break?
- Um, about noon.
Uh, I could maybe move
one of my students.
- No, noon is good.
I just want to tell you
what's happening.
- Okay, well--
well, come hungry.
I'll make us a special lunch.
- I'll see you at 12:00.
I love you.
- Okay.
You, too.
Bye.
Oh, Cindi, Cindi, Cindi.
Oh, Megan.
- Sorry I'm early.
My mom had to drop me off...
- Oh, that's fine, honey.
That's fine, I was just--
- Is Mom here?
- No, Toby, honey,
I'm sorry.
No, I--I must have
heard her wrong.
Um, I'll send her
right in to you
when she gets here, okay?
♪
Did I make it worse for you?
Because I liked him so much?
Did I make it harder for you
to see who he really was?
- No.
Mom, I--I don't think I...
ever saw who he really was.
- What the kids told me--
what they found out is--
is just unbelievable.
- Mm-hmm.
- I--I can't wrap
my mind around it.
You know...
there was something
that I felt around him.
I don't know, something...
missing in him, you know?
- Yeah.
Honesty.
That was it.
Oh, we're laughing about it.
Oh, my goodness.
But you know, that thing
that I felt...
I--it never was about you,
Debbie.
Always thought he loved you.
- I did too.
I still--I still kinda do.
Is that crazy?
- No, 'cause you're wonderful.
How could he not love you?
- Oh, I don't know.
Is it worse or better
to know that...
he did this to women
before you?
- You know, he didn't--
he didn't do anything
to me, really, except lie.
- But to lie...
about being in prison?
- I know.
- Stalking women and--and...
Oh, my goodness, he's not even
a doctor.
I mean, what--what kind
of a person does that?
What--what must be, you know,
inside him to do something
like that?
- I don't know.
- Well...
how could you know?
How could you?
- But I do wonder, you know,
'cause...
nobody's without sin.
And...
everybody can be saved.
You say it all the time.
You know, nobody's perfect.
Everybody has something.
- But, Debbie, you--
you didn't do anything
to deserve this.
What did you do to--
to deserve for--
for him to hurt you like that?
To betray you.
- I don't know.
- You did nothing.
You did nothing.
- I know.
- Are you Mrs. Hart?
Arlane Hart?
- Yes.
- Could we come in?
- O--of course.
♪
You did nothing wrong.
Thank God you found out now.
Thank God that you're away
from him.
'Cause I couldn't lose
another daughter.
I can't, I can't.
♪
- Are you home alone,
Mrs. Hart?
- N--no, no.
My grandson, he's--
he's watching TV.
He's--he's 11.
What--what is it?
- Ma'am...
there's been a shooting.
- What, is it--
is it Bobby?
Is it Bobby who's been--
who's been shot?
- Ma'am, your daughter,
Cindi Sellars, has been shot.
- Oh...
uh, how--how bad is she?
- I'm sorry.
She--
She didn't make it.
- Your son-in-law
shot your daughter...
And then he shot himself.
- O-oh...
Is--is he dead?
- No, he shot himself
in the chest area.
He's at the hospital
in custody.
I--I...
I--I have...
♪
Oh, please, help me.
Oh, please.
Oh, please.
I--I can do this.
I'm not alone.
I can do this.
- Could it be Mr. Rogers?
You're in the neighborhood.
- Have a seat.
- Toby?
Hi, sweetie.
- You are the first lad...
- Something's happened.
Something terrible
has happened.
- Why are policemen here?
- Um...
well, they--they came
to tell me...
that your father has shot
and killed your mother.
That she is dead.
Y--your Daddy's okay.
He--he shot himself, too,
but he's okay.
He's not dead.
He's in the hospital
right now.
♪
- It's okay.
We can do this.
♪
But we have to be strong.
So strong.
It's gonna be so, so hard...
but Jesus will help us.
And we have each other,
and we have Him,
and we will get through this
together.
All of us.
♪
And, um--okay.
I--I have to--
I have to go...
make some phone--
some phone calls,
and so you watch
a little more TV, okay?
And I will come back
in a bit and get you.
Okay, love bug?
- I can be strong
with you, Grandma.
- Mm.
I know you can, my sweet boy.
♪
- The good news is,
you're free of him now.
You know, you're here,
you're safe.
That's all I care about.
Thank you.
Some of the stuff
me and Ronnie found out
about this guy?
He's a con man, you know?
He wanted money for drugs
and all that stuff
but he was more than that.
What he really wants
is for people
to remember him.
He wanted these women
to live in fear of him,
which is crazy.
That'd be like the one thing
that I would ask him about
if I ever saw him again,
you know?
"Why?"
Not that'd ever
explain himself to me.
- I don't know.
He might.
- Mm.
He said this one woman
was like his project.
Did you feel that way?
- No.
No, I just...
felt like he loved me.
- I mean, he's one heck
of a liar, right?
I'm sure part of it's true,
you know.
He must have felt that way
a little bit
to convince people like that.
Like you.
♪
I could never
really understand...
what happened to Mom, you know.
Why, uh...
why Dad did that thing to her.
Because he loved her too much?
♪
Sometimes I still
don't understand, you know?
- Mm.
- But...
this thing with John...
why he does these things...
it almost makes that
seem simple.
- I'm so sorry.
I am so, so sorry.
- When--when you would
come and--
and talk to me about--
Did you already know
you were gonna do it?
Yes.
To myself, um...
I wanted to do it to myself.
Not to her.
I mean, not her.
Not ever.
- How are you?
You're wearing--
It doesn't matter.
- Do you still want to die?
- Yes, but...
I don't deserve to.
I should live every day
of a long life in here
thinking about her.
How's Toby?
- Scared.
For you.
For...
where you are and what might be
happening to you.
- You tell him not to be.
You just tell him,
"Don't be scared."
- You killed my daughter,
Bobby.
I hate what you've done.
- More than I've ever hated
anything in this whole world.
♪
But you loved her.
I know that.
- God has given us
all of this love
we have for each other.
♪
Long ago, he showed us
who you are.
So we love you.
♪
Still.
♪
We all do.
Still.
♪
How--how can you say that?
Can any hide himself
in secret places
that I shall not see him?
♪
In the Lord we have redemption
through His blood.
♪
The forgiveness
of our trespasses...
♪
According to the riches
of His grace.
♪
- Deb, I'm sorry.
I am so...
so sorry.
- No.
I don't want
to hear anything...
from you except...
I want to know.
- What do you want to know?
What do you want to know?
- Why'd you do all that?
- You heard what I told...
the Sergeant.
About the drugs.
The pain management program.
There's no...
I'm the program.
I'm an addict.
I'm in pain all the time.
- Oh, yeah, from shrapnel.
You said from shrapnel...
- I know.
- That hit the Jeep
and took out guys
you were working with in Iraq.
- I know.
- You said--you said
you had a nursing degree
and a--
a structure PhD
that made you an MD.
You're not a doctor, John.
- I don't know.
It was easier, lazier.
My ego, whatever.
To say "doctor," I just--
you're so successful,
and I wanted--
I just wanted...
- So it's my fault?
- To be great for you.
- So now this is my fault
that you--that you lied to me?
- I wanted to be great for you.
- You're not a nurse,
you're not a doctor.
You don't have any...
- No, that's not true.
- Any license.
- That's not true.
I had an appeal with
the California medical board
last October,
and they granted me
a conditional license--
just--only in this state--
so I could keep working until
things got cleared up.
So whoever told you that,
they--they do not have
the latest result...
- You know what...
- From the medical
appeals board.
- I don't even care about that.
You know, I wanna know about
all the other things
way back before that.
- What other things?
- "What other things?"
You tell me, John.
Those papers
in the drawer?
- You went in the office.
You saw what was in the office.
Oh, God.
- Yeah.
I saw that stuff.
What was that stuff?
- My ex, Tonia.
She was having an affair.
She got the divorce
to be with him.
He got bored, so she pretended
to be scared of me.
She filed a restraining order
just to show him.
Just to keep him interested.
- There's so many
restraining orders.
- They are not me!
They're people with, like,
a similar name--
- Well, then how come cops
and lawyers
and people that, you know,
get paid to find
these things out, they...
they say they are you.
- I have asked myself
that question so many times.
I don't know the answer.
I mean, maybe the people
that, you know,
put the information in
do it wrong.
I don't know,
but you do a database search
and they all come up.
I tried to get a lawyer
to, like, separate me
from them, expunge them.
You can do that if you can
afford a lawyer,
but I couldn't.
- I found so many
other things, John.
What about the cops in Laguna?
They said you--you tried
to kill them.
- Come on.
No charges were ever filed.
Just because someone files
a report doesn't mean
that's what happened.
It's nothing.
Once you're in the system,
the cops, they just keep
pulling your chain.
You're the bad guy.
It's so easy for them,
and, you know...
No one stops them
or checks on them.
- Did you build a gun?
The police say
they found knives,
they found cyanide.
Why would you have cyanide?
- I wasn't gonna tell you
this stuff because...
So much of what I thought
I had done to myself...
with the drugs--
the numbness,
the tingling, the--
the balance, everything...
It turns out it was MS.
Which is impossible to treat,
so I told myself...
That if it ever got too much
that the cyanide would help me.
And it did help me
just knowing that I had it.
But I'd have done that
I would never have met you.
After Tonia got me arrested...
when I was awaiting trial,
I went to a motel...
With my med bag...
And a bottle of vodka...
But I didn't have
the right sized syringe,
so I didn't die.
I passed out and I fell
off the bed
and I woke up...
♪
Covered in blood
from the bottle
waiting for someone to find me.
I told you it was shrapnel...
but I'm the shrapnel.
The drugs...
♪
They explode me.
They make me lie,
they make me steal...
and they make me hurt
the people
that I love the most.
Especially you.
Can I just say one thing
before you go?
♪
All those times that I said
that you deserve the best?
I meant it.
You're incredible.
I lied.
I lied about me,
about my past,
about my job...
♪
But not about you.
I never lied about how much
I love you, Deb.
♪
Hey, uh, we don't have
a receptionist
right at the moment.
She, um--
who is your appointment with?
- I'm here to see
Gregory Reedus.
- Oh, that's me.
both: Hi.
- Greg.
- I'm Arlane Hart.
I'm Cindi Sellar's mother.
- Yeah, I know who you, um--
I can't, uh, talk to you.
- Mr. Reedus...
- I'm really sorry, but I--
I can't.
- Mr. Reedus, you have
to let me--
- Maybe you're confused,
which is normal and it's fine,
but, uh, Lisa Usher
at the DA's office, she, uh--
she would be the one
who you should, uh, talk to.
- I--I know
whose lawyer you are.
- Okay, so...
then why are you here?
- Mom, it's me.
- Uh, hi, hun.
- Hi!
- Hi.
- I got you a chai latte.
- Thank you.
- My God, this room
is even uglier in daylight.
- What were you doing?
- Oh, you know,
I'm trying to get
some work done.
- Nice.
- What's that?
- Oh, it's a GPS tracker.
I put it on your car
at Christmas.
- You put it on my car?
- Yeah.
To follow John, remember?
- Oh.
No, I did not remember.
- Yeah, I said that one of us
should put one on there,
and you said if it would
make me happy I should do it...
So I did.
Well, I--I don't think
I was serious, Ronnie.
- Well, okay.
I mean, it didn't show
anything that weird, so...
I forgot to take it off
your car so I did that
this morning.
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
Did you get the annulment?
- Yep.
Yeah, I did.
I--I, you know, signed all
the paperwork, and...
- Good.
- Mm-hmm.
- What about the will?
- I changed the will
and had it notarized, so...
- God damn, who is texting you
so much?
- Oh.
Well, I mean, I'm not
in the office so, you know,
they're just trying
to track me down.
- Yep.
Speaking of which...
I should go.
- Thanks for coming by,
sweetie.
- Of course.
- Mm.
- It's nice.
Oh.
- I love you so much.
- I love you, too.
So much.
Okay, but you're
squishing me now.
- Oh.
God, that was quite
the squeeze.
- Well, I love you.
- Yeah.
I'll see you later.
Remember, we're FaceTiming
Terra at 3:00.
- Oh, yes.
- So I'll see you then, right?
- Okay.
Thank you for this--
for the chai.
- Bye.
- Bye.
♪
- Ma'am.
- Thank you.
♪
♪
- When was the last time
you spoke to Bobby
prior to the incident?
- That morning, actually,
at our house.
He and Toby were staying
at our house.
- When was the last time
that you spoke to Bobby
about the state of his
and Cindi's marriage?
- Um, that was Wednesday
the fourth.
Three days before.
- What's he like
in that conversation?
What's his demeanor?
- Oh, he was so upset
and--and crying so hard.
He just felt that things
were over between them
and he was so lost.
- How long had you been aware,
uh, that the marriage
was in trouble?
- By the time Cindi spoke to us
it seemed as if things
were already very bad.
But when Bobby spoke to me...
um, he seemed completely
taken by surprise.
Completely surprised,
and he wanted to save it.
- Because he loved her.
- Oh, so much.
He loved her so much.
- Did he tell you
any of the things
that he had done to try
and save the marriage?
- He, um, had changed
some of his behavior.
Um, he went to see
our pastor with her.
They went to counseling--
months of counseling.
Um, he agreed
to a separation,
agreed to sell their house.
You know, to live separately
for perspective
and for...
absence to make her heart
grow fonder.
And, um...
and he spoke to me.
You can imagine,
a man having to come
to his mother-in-law
for help...
and to cry in front of her.
- And did any of the things
that he tried work?
- No.
Um, he was doing it thinking
that he could--
if he did, he could keep
Cindi with him, but...
you know, I--I don't think
he ever had a chance,
and when he came
to realize that...
- Prior to the incident,
how did you feel about Bobby?
- Oh, I--I loved him.
Loved him very much.
He had such a pure heart.
I mean, his--his whole life
was Cindi and Toby.
Um, working for their family,
their life together
as a--as a family.
- How do you feel
about him now?
- I still love him.
- You love him.
- I do.
- Even after everything
that happened?
- Bobby asked me
the same question.
- Because it's very difficult
to understand,
if not impossible.
- Bobby did a--
a terrible thing.
♪
The worst thing.
I hate what he did.
And I told him that, I--I did.
But if he had been
in his right mind
he could never have done that.
So what he did doesn't...
doesn't change what I believe
about him.
♪
I can still love Bobby,
and I forgive him...
because I want to forgive him.
Because of what I know.
I know...
his heart was full of love.
♪
He just--
he just lost his way.
♪
♪
♪