Dinosaurs (1991–1994): Season 3, Episode 19 - If I Were a Tree - full transcript
Ethel reads the Baby a story called If You Were a Tree, about a dinosaur tree pusher (Earl) who gets struck by lightning and swaps souls with the tree he's trying to demolish.
[creature howls]
[Ethyl] "And so it was time
to say good night."
Good night, rock.
Good night, stone.
Good night, stick.
Good night, another rock.”
[groans]
"Good night, dirt.
Good night, yet another rock."
- [sighs]
- This is a classic?
Good night, book.
- Good.
- OK, time for bed.
You still owe me a story.
Fine. Here's one of my favorites.
- What is it?
- If You Were a Tree,
by Bea Walters.
- Oh.
- Let's see.
"Once upon a time,
in a land very much like this one..."
- [Baby] Uh-huh.
- "...there lived a dinosaur
who pushed down trees for a living.
One day, he and his friends
were in a part of the forest
"they had never seen before."
Take a look, boys.
There's a bright future
for all of us out there.
[dinosaur] Where?
I don't see anything.
That's 'cause the trees
are in the way.
But, once we've knocked them down,
there'll be strip malls,
discount membership warehouses,
eight lane highways,
and identical tract homes
as far as the eye can see.
You are a visionary, Earl.
It's noble work we do, uh-huh.
First one to knock down
100 trees, gets a doughnut!
[all cheering]
- Timber! [grunting]
- [crash]
Number one!
- You're number two.
- [crashing]
OK, there, chump. Time to make
like the season and fall. [chuckles]
[grunting]
Alright.
[spits]
Think you're gonna
stand in the way of progress?
Not.
[grunting]
[distant thunder]
- [thunderclap]
- Whoa!
You had to grow outdoors, didn't you?
[straining] Oh, come on!
We both know how
this is gonna end.
I'd just give up and roll over if I...
...were... you!
[shuddering]
- Hey, look, it's Earl.
- It is him.
Hey, way too early for nap time.
- I think the lightning hit him.
- Can you hear me, pal-y boy?
[Earl] Yeah, yeah. Not so loud.
My head's killing me.
I'm over here.
- Uh...
- You're gonna be OK, pal-y boy.
[cries out]
What am I doing over there,
when I'm over here?
And why do I look so... dead?
- Earl?
- He's dead.
What's happening to me?
Honey, I'm home.
Aaah!
- Ohh!
- Ow!
- Ow!
- Ooh!
[chuckling] Aah!
- Come on.
- Earl, are you dead?
- He's not drooling.
- Yep, he's dead.
I'm not dead.
[Baby] Hold it. Is he dead or not?
"The tree pusher was still alive."
Oh, good.
"But, now his spirit
was living inside the tree.
And the tree's spirit
was living inside of him."
I don't get it.
They switched bodies.
- Oh, good.
- Now, where was I?
Ah, yeah.
"When the tree pusher awoke,"
he was very different.
Although he still
looked like a dinosaur,
he now possessed the soul of a tree.”
[all grunting]
You see there? Takes more than
a couple million volts of electricity
to penetrate that thick noggin.
- Yeah.
- Right, pal-y boy?
- [refined British voice] I'm alive.
- Uh-huh.
I'm alive and I'm a dinosaur.
- Yeah.
- How wondrous.
How magical.
See, I told you he was OK.
Now, if you could just
tell me who I am.
I'll take it. You're Earl Sinclair.
- Are not!
- Do you know who we are?
You're morons! That's not me.
I'm sorry. I don't recognize any of you.
Wow. He doesn't remember anything.
What're we gonna do?
Well, you know a shock
did this to him.
Maybe we could bring back his memory
with a really strong shock.
We could take him home to see his kids.
- That should do it.
- Huh?
Yeah. Come on, pal-y boy.
We're gonna take a little stroll
- down memory lane.
- Come on.
Huh?
Sid, Gus! That's not really me!
Come back. Don't leave me!
Hi. Earl got hit by lightning.
- [all gasp]
- Where is he? I've gotta see him.
Oh, now don't worry, Fran.
He's right here, and I'm telling ya,
he's perfectly fine.
- Left, right.
- [kids gasp]
Left, right.
Left, right.
Left, right, stop.
[sighs]
Oh. How do you do?
And who might you be?
[creature calls]
Earl, this is your family.
My family?
First, I am freed
from my earthly bondage
and now I have a family of my own.
My heart overflows with joy.
See? Same old Earl.
[laughs] Say hello to your wife, Fran.
Fran. Oh, what a beautiful sound.
Like a robin warbling it's first song
of the new morning.
- He's fried.
- Deep fried.
And these are your kids,
Robbie, Charlene and Baby.
Oh, the ripening fruit of my seed.
I am thrice blessed.
- Who you calling fruit?
- Hey, no.
- [Roy] Ah, well...
- What?
...you guys got
a lot of catching up to do.
- See you in the morning, Earl.
- Oh, thank you, Roy Hess.
Farewell.
Uh-huh.
Um... maybe a good home-cooked meal
will help you feel better.
- [Earl and kids] Yes.
- Why don't you sit here.
- Ah.
- I was just about to serve dinner.
Uh, none for me, Mom.
Actually, I was on my way out to
the, uh, Save the Mammoths rally.
The woolly mammoths?
Do you really believe you can save them?
I know what you're gonna say.
This is just another idiotic, liberal
cause and I'm wasting my time.
No, my son.
The pounding hoof beats
of the mammoth stampede
- grow weaker with every passing day.
- Hmm?
If you believe you can save them
from this senseless slaughter,
then go, my son, and with my blessing.
So, uh, was that a "yes?"
Uh...
Oh, well, then, cool.
And, uh, I'll be going.
Water, the elixir of life. [sighs]
- Ahh.
- [Baby laughs]
- That's funny.
- Shh.
How come nobody's laughing?
- Uh, I'll just...
- Ah, I am refreshed.
OK. Would you...
excuse me for a minute?
Mom, Mom? Mom, I'm scared.
Maybe we should call the doctor.
Well, a lightning strike is serious
and he is acting differently.
- Fran.
- Ah!
If you and Charlene wish to talk,
perhaps I should serve... dinner.
On the other hand, sometimes
a "wait and see" approach is best.
Yeah.
Well, this is some lousy
run of luck I'm having.
I stubbed my toe, cut myself shaving,
and undergo a spiritual
transference with a tree.
Sheesh, what are the odds?
- Pretty freaky yesterday with Earl.
- Yeah.
- Think he'll get his memory back?
- Well, if he doesn't...
...that's 20 bucks
I don't owe him anymore.
I heard that.
You still owe me that money...
...with interest!
Gus! Hey, I'm talking to you!
[sighs, tree creaks]
Why doesn't anybody hear me?
[gasps] I told you he was acting weird.
Hey, you heard me.
It's like he doesn't remember a thing.
It must've been the lightning.
- Yes.
- Ah,
Oh, swell, I got a bird living on me
and a squirrel living in me.
I think I'm gonna be sick.
[both laugh] You won't
get sick as long as I'm here.
I eat the insects
which would harm your leaves.
I eat bugs and parasites which
would infect your pulpy core.
Sounds like you need a hobby.
And in return, you'll give us
sustenance and shelter.
That's how this ecosystem works.
Plants and animals
living in perfect harmony.
Isn't that beautiful?
Help, get me outta here!
- [laughing] Oh, they can't hear you.
- Why not?
Oh, simple, look at them.
Look how they treat
the world around them.
They've lost their respect for nature.
They've lost their place in
the community of living things.
- They have nothing.
- They have doughnuts.
Hey, look who's back.
- Oh. [grumbles]
- Bye bye.
- 3 Ladeedah?
- How you feeling today, Earl?
Oh, to move, to be free.
How wondrous it is to be a dinosaur.
- Well, I'm up 20 bucks.
- Yep.
Gus, how you nourish me
with your friendship.
Let us embrace.
Don't come near me, you fat lunatic.
Come on, he's giving me
the creeps, move.
[laughs] Ah, Gus.
How you help me understand myself.
So, I am a fat lunatic
that gives creeps.
- Uh-huh.
- Good. Huh.
But still do not know
why you have brought me here.
Oh, you're here to push down trees.
I beg your pardon?
It's our job. That's why
they call us tree pushers. I think.
Tree pushers?
They might as well call us murderers.
Yeah, they could do that,
but what would they call murderers?
But, this is madness.
Look at this great tree.
This proud sentinel of the wilderness
living bound to it's earth and sky.
How could anyone push this down?
Well, actually, no one could. That's why
Mr. Richfield ordered some dynamite.
- We're gonna blow it up tomorrow.
- Dynamite?
Dynamite?
No!
"And so the tree
was marked for destruction."
And they lived happily
ever after, the end.
- No, it's not.
- Yes, it is.
I see more pages.
- Footnotes.
- Lying to the baby.
Oh, look. There's more.
[giggles]
"The tree pusher could not bear
to see the tree destroyed."
So, he went to see the one dinosaur
"who could save the tree's life."
Are you the one called, Richfield?
Huh?
You must stop the tree pushing,
my misguided friend.
- It is wrong.
- Wrong?
Sinclair have you lost your marbles?
I had marbles?
Again, I am grateful
for such information.
Perhaps another time you can tell me
how many and what beautiful colors...
Shut up! You're giving me the willies!
[shudders] Now get your babbling
green butt out that door
and knock down those trees!
No.
[gasps]
It is a crime against nature.
An act of spiritual
and moral bankruptcy.
Bankruptcy? Are you nuts?
We're raking it in!
- [laughs]
- Good heavens.
You actually take pleasure
in killing trees.
You are a grinning messenger of death.
I enjoy my work.
I can see I am wasting my time here.
- But, take heed...
- [growls]
...your murderous days are numbered.
The life force is on my side.
And I will not rest
until the destruction
of the forest is at an end.
[grumbles]
Well, we'll just see about that.
[laughs]
- [sighs]
- Did you have a nice day at work?
Oh, sadness coils
around my heart like a serpent.
Some days are like that.
I found out what I do for a living.
I am the agent of iniquity and death.
They gave you Mr. Richfield's job?
Don't you understand? I push down trees.
As we speak, they're falling
by the hundreds.
I tried to rally my fellow workers,
but none would heed my call.
Earl, I don't get this.
You've been pushing down trees
for 20 years.
And now it must end.
Dinosaurs must learn
to show respect for all living things.
This plant is dead.
Where can I chuck it?
[gasps] Good heavens.
Has everyone gone mad?
What are you doing with him?
Well, Mom told me
to clean up my room,
and "he" was too big to flush.
He is not dead.
- [sighs]
- Let me speak with him.
What has she done with you?
No water in a month? No direct sunlight?
- Oops.
- Earl.
Let him finish!
She has not spoken to you?
For shame!
I... was...
Have courage, little fellow.
You will flourish. For you are
like no other living creature.
Repeat after me.
"I am special."
He is crazy!
- [doorbell chimes]
- Charlene, why don't you get that?
With pleasure.
Earl, your behavior
has become rather eccentric lately.
At first, the change was refreshing,
but now you're weirding me out.
- [door closes]
- I understand your concern,
but there is an explanation for this
that will put your mind at rest.
I... am a tree.
You are out of your tree.
- Yes!
- Hmm?
When lightning hit your husband,
he was trying to push me down.
Somehow, our souls switched places.
Uh... huh.
And did you mention this
tree business to anyone else?
OK, which one of you's the birch?
I am a willow.
Whatever. Slip on the jacket,
lumber boy.
- We're going for a ride.
- Yeah.
- Wait a minute!
- Now, don't you worry, ma'am.
Mr. Richfield's made
all the arrangements.
- Where are you taking him?
- Don't worry about me.
You have to save the trees.
Do it for your husband, Fran.
He's still out there,
there isn't much time!
[both struggling]
[gasps]
Hasta la vista, baby.
[humming]
- [cracking]
- Oh, my! Oh, my!
Oh, oh, oh, oh!
Do you mind keeping it down?
I'm having a rough day.
My eggs. They're hatching.
Hmm? Oh! Well, I should do something.
- What should I do?
- You're doing it.
What? I'm just standing here,
holding the nest up.
- Exactly.
- Oh... l see.
I'm part of this. I'm protecting them.
- Keeping them safe from predators.
- Mmm.
Now you're starting
to sound like a tree.
- [eggs cracking]
- [murmurs]
[chirping]
- [Earl] Oh.
- Ah.
Oh, they're cute.
You know, this ecosystem thing's
beginning to make some sense to me.
I'm part of a vast living system.
Think this is enough dynamite?
The part that's about to get blown up!
They're gonna blow the tree up?
Doesn't look good.
Well, what about the baby birdies
and the little furry guy?
The tree was very worried
about his new friends.
[Earl] Birdies? Mr. Squirrel?
You gotta get out.
All these trees are coming down.
They're knocking down all the trees?
What for?
To build new homes.
But, these trees are homes.
Not for dinosaurs.
- We live here.
- [Earl groans]
You know about the ecosystem,
but I know about dinosaurs.
If you're in their way,
they'll get rid of you.
But, if we go, what happens to you?
Don't worry about me, just go.
Go on, fly away! Go, hurry.
Good luck, guys.
Good luck.
- [Fran] Earl?
- Hmm?
- Are you in there?
- [gasps]
Earl? It's me, Fran.
Fran! Fran, I'm over here!
- [sighs]
- [Earl groans]
Fran! Here, behind you!
- Turn around.
- Earl. Are you in there?
No, no! I'm over here!
Oh, please, Fran, you gotta hear me.
Frannie! [grunts]
- Uh. What am I doing?
- [tree creaking]
My husband's not a tree.
He's lost his mind.
I just have to go home and deal with it.
Huh? Hello?
Is someone there?
[gasps]
- Earl!
- [exhales]
Oh, Earl! It is you!
Oh.
- Oh, Fran. Oh, my Frannie.
- [sighs]
[both nuzzling]
[dinosaur clears throat]
Oh, Gus.
I know what you must think,
but this is not a tree. It's Earl!
You have to believe me!
- And we do, Mrs. Sinclair.
- Yes.
We surely do.
Maybe we can talk about it over here,
away from the high explosives.
Take your hands off her!
- Huh?
- Earl, what happened?
I threw a sink
through the window and escaped.
- [sighs]
- Do not touch this tree.
Oh, no, not the messenger
of death routine again?
Come on. Richfield's gonna be mad
if we don't blow up the tree
- before the storm hits.
- Yeah.
No.
If you insist on murdering this tree,
then you will have to kill me, too.
- [thunder]
- Huh?
[growls]
- Sorry, Earl. A job's a job.
- True.
- [sighs]
- Earl!
Be brave, Fran.
I can feel your husband's soul
within this tree
and it is filled with courage.
- [thunder rumbling]
- Mommy!
[Earl crying]
[all] Oh!
[thunderclap]
[both yelling]
[Baby] Hold it! Wait a second.
Lightning hit the same tree... twice?
It's a fable.
OK, just checking.
- Oh, geez, not again.
- Earl?
Oh! Earl.
My Earl.
[both gasp]
[exhales]
Fran? Fran, is that you?
[grunts] What are you doing here?
Earl, it's you. You're back.
[groans] Fran, what's going on?
Don't you remember?
I remember Mr. Richfield asked
to push down some tree.
- Then it's all kind of blank.
- But, you were in the tree.
- And the tree was you.
- What?
[gasps] Oh, my goodness.
The tree.
Well, that's one less tree
for me to worry about.
Earl, that wasn't just a tree.
You're telling me?
That was a hernia waiting to happen.
Come on, Fran, I got a headache.
Let's go home. [moans]
[Ethyl] "There is a time when each of us
shall return to the earth."
This was the tree's time."
Come on, Fran.
"But it was nature who decided so,"
nature and not the dinosaur.
The end.”
Beautiful story, isn't it?
Stupid.
Oh. And why would you say that?
The tree pusher,
he didn't learn anything.
Stupid!
But did you learn something?
- Yeah.
- Good.
Now, go to sleep.
Oh, OK. Come on, Snookie.
Oh!
Good story!
.
[Ethyl] "And so it was time
to say good night."
Good night, rock.
Good night, stone.
Good night, stick.
Good night, another rock.”
[groans]
"Good night, dirt.
Good night, yet another rock."
- [sighs]
- This is a classic?
Good night, book.
- Good.
- OK, time for bed.
You still owe me a story.
Fine. Here's one of my favorites.
- What is it?
- If You Were a Tree,
by Bea Walters.
- Oh.
- Let's see.
"Once upon a time,
in a land very much like this one..."
- [Baby] Uh-huh.
- "...there lived a dinosaur
who pushed down trees for a living.
One day, he and his friends
were in a part of the forest
"they had never seen before."
Take a look, boys.
There's a bright future
for all of us out there.
[dinosaur] Where?
I don't see anything.
That's 'cause the trees
are in the way.
But, once we've knocked them down,
there'll be strip malls,
discount membership warehouses,
eight lane highways,
and identical tract homes
as far as the eye can see.
You are a visionary, Earl.
It's noble work we do, uh-huh.
First one to knock down
100 trees, gets a doughnut!
[all cheering]
- Timber! [grunting]
- [crash]
Number one!
- You're number two.
- [crashing]
OK, there, chump. Time to make
like the season and fall. [chuckles]
[grunting]
Alright.
[spits]
Think you're gonna
stand in the way of progress?
Not.
[grunting]
[distant thunder]
- [thunderclap]
- Whoa!
You had to grow outdoors, didn't you?
[straining] Oh, come on!
We both know how
this is gonna end.
I'd just give up and roll over if I...
...were... you!
[shuddering]
- Hey, look, it's Earl.
- It is him.
Hey, way too early for nap time.
- I think the lightning hit him.
- Can you hear me, pal-y boy?
[Earl] Yeah, yeah. Not so loud.
My head's killing me.
I'm over here.
- Uh...
- You're gonna be OK, pal-y boy.
[cries out]
What am I doing over there,
when I'm over here?
And why do I look so... dead?
- Earl?
- He's dead.
What's happening to me?
Honey, I'm home.
Aaah!
- Ohh!
- Ow!
- Ow!
- Ooh!
[chuckling] Aah!
- Come on.
- Earl, are you dead?
- He's not drooling.
- Yep, he's dead.
I'm not dead.
[Baby] Hold it. Is he dead or not?
"The tree pusher was still alive."
Oh, good.
"But, now his spirit
was living inside the tree.
And the tree's spirit
was living inside of him."
I don't get it.
They switched bodies.
- Oh, good.
- Now, where was I?
Ah, yeah.
"When the tree pusher awoke,"
he was very different.
Although he still
looked like a dinosaur,
he now possessed the soul of a tree.”
[all grunting]
You see there? Takes more than
a couple million volts of electricity
to penetrate that thick noggin.
- Yeah.
- Right, pal-y boy?
- [refined British voice] I'm alive.
- Uh-huh.
I'm alive and I'm a dinosaur.
- Yeah.
- How wondrous.
How magical.
See, I told you he was OK.
Now, if you could just
tell me who I am.
I'll take it. You're Earl Sinclair.
- Are not!
- Do you know who we are?
You're morons! That's not me.
I'm sorry. I don't recognize any of you.
Wow. He doesn't remember anything.
What're we gonna do?
Well, you know a shock
did this to him.
Maybe we could bring back his memory
with a really strong shock.
We could take him home to see his kids.
- That should do it.
- Huh?
Yeah. Come on, pal-y boy.
We're gonna take a little stroll
- down memory lane.
- Come on.
Huh?
Sid, Gus! That's not really me!
Come back. Don't leave me!
Hi. Earl got hit by lightning.
- [all gasp]
- Where is he? I've gotta see him.
Oh, now don't worry, Fran.
He's right here, and I'm telling ya,
he's perfectly fine.
- Left, right.
- [kids gasp]
Left, right.
Left, right.
Left, right, stop.
[sighs]
Oh. How do you do?
And who might you be?
[creature calls]
Earl, this is your family.
My family?
First, I am freed
from my earthly bondage
and now I have a family of my own.
My heart overflows with joy.
See? Same old Earl.
[laughs] Say hello to your wife, Fran.
Fran. Oh, what a beautiful sound.
Like a robin warbling it's first song
of the new morning.
- He's fried.
- Deep fried.
And these are your kids,
Robbie, Charlene and Baby.
Oh, the ripening fruit of my seed.
I am thrice blessed.
- Who you calling fruit?
- Hey, no.
- [Roy] Ah, well...
- What?
...you guys got
a lot of catching up to do.
- See you in the morning, Earl.
- Oh, thank you, Roy Hess.
Farewell.
Uh-huh.
Um... maybe a good home-cooked meal
will help you feel better.
- [Earl and kids] Yes.
- Why don't you sit here.
- Ah.
- I was just about to serve dinner.
Uh, none for me, Mom.
Actually, I was on my way out to
the, uh, Save the Mammoths rally.
The woolly mammoths?
Do you really believe you can save them?
I know what you're gonna say.
This is just another idiotic, liberal
cause and I'm wasting my time.
No, my son.
The pounding hoof beats
of the mammoth stampede
- grow weaker with every passing day.
- Hmm?
If you believe you can save them
from this senseless slaughter,
then go, my son, and with my blessing.
So, uh, was that a "yes?"
Uh...
Oh, well, then, cool.
And, uh, I'll be going.
Water, the elixir of life. [sighs]
- Ahh.
- [Baby laughs]
- That's funny.
- Shh.
How come nobody's laughing?
- Uh, I'll just...
- Ah, I am refreshed.
OK. Would you...
excuse me for a minute?
Mom, Mom? Mom, I'm scared.
Maybe we should call the doctor.
Well, a lightning strike is serious
and he is acting differently.
- Fran.
- Ah!
If you and Charlene wish to talk,
perhaps I should serve... dinner.
On the other hand, sometimes
a "wait and see" approach is best.
Yeah.
Well, this is some lousy
run of luck I'm having.
I stubbed my toe, cut myself shaving,
and undergo a spiritual
transference with a tree.
Sheesh, what are the odds?
- Pretty freaky yesterday with Earl.
- Yeah.
- Think he'll get his memory back?
- Well, if he doesn't...
...that's 20 bucks
I don't owe him anymore.
I heard that.
You still owe me that money...
...with interest!
Gus! Hey, I'm talking to you!
[sighs, tree creaks]
Why doesn't anybody hear me?
[gasps] I told you he was acting weird.
Hey, you heard me.
It's like he doesn't remember a thing.
It must've been the lightning.
- Yes.
- Ah,
Oh, swell, I got a bird living on me
and a squirrel living in me.
I think I'm gonna be sick.
[both laugh] You won't
get sick as long as I'm here.
I eat the insects
which would harm your leaves.
I eat bugs and parasites which
would infect your pulpy core.
Sounds like you need a hobby.
And in return, you'll give us
sustenance and shelter.
That's how this ecosystem works.
Plants and animals
living in perfect harmony.
Isn't that beautiful?
Help, get me outta here!
- [laughing] Oh, they can't hear you.
- Why not?
Oh, simple, look at them.
Look how they treat
the world around them.
They've lost their respect for nature.
They've lost their place in
the community of living things.
- They have nothing.
- They have doughnuts.
Hey, look who's back.
- Oh. [grumbles]
- Bye bye.
- 3 Ladeedah?
- How you feeling today, Earl?
Oh, to move, to be free.
How wondrous it is to be a dinosaur.
- Well, I'm up 20 bucks.
- Yep.
Gus, how you nourish me
with your friendship.
Let us embrace.
Don't come near me, you fat lunatic.
Come on, he's giving me
the creeps, move.
[laughs] Ah, Gus.
How you help me understand myself.
So, I am a fat lunatic
that gives creeps.
- Uh-huh.
- Good. Huh.
But still do not know
why you have brought me here.
Oh, you're here to push down trees.
I beg your pardon?
It's our job. That's why
they call us tree pushers. I think.
Tree pushers?
They might as well call us murderers.
Yeah, they could do that,
but what would they call murderers?
But, this is madness.
Look at this great tree.
This proud sentinel of the wilderness
living bound to it's earth and sky.
How could anyone push this down?
Well, actually, no one could. That's why
Mr. Richfield ordered some dynamite.
- We're gonna blow it up tomorrow.
- Dynamite?
Dynamite?
No!
"And so the tree
was marked for destruction."
And they lived happily
ever after, the end.
- No, it's not.
- Yes, it is.
I see more pages.
- Footnotes.
- Lying to the baby.
Oh, look. There's more.
[giggles]
"The tree pusher could not bear
to see the tree destroyed."
So, he went to see the one dinosaur
"who could save the tree's life."
Are you the one called, Richfield?
Huh?
You must stop the tree pushing,
my misguided friend.
- It is wrong.
- Wrong?
Sinclair have you lost your marbles?
I had marbles?
Again, I am grateful
for such information.
Perhaps another time you can tell me
how many and what beautiful colors...
Shut up! You're giving me the willies!
[shudders] Now get your babbling
green butt out that door
and knock down those trees!
No.
[gasps]
It is a crime against nature.
An act of spiritual
and moral bankruptcy.
Bankruptcy? Are you nuts?
We're raking it in!
- [laughs]
- Good heavens.
You actually take pleasure
in killing trees.
You are a grinning messenger of death.
I enjoy my work.
I can see I am wasting my time here.
- But, take heed...
- [growls]
...your murderous days are numbered.
The life force is on my side.
And I will not rest
until the destruction
of the forest is at an end.
[grumbles]
Well, we'll just see about that.
[laughs]
- [sighs]
- Did you have a nice day at work?
Oh, sadness coils
around my heart like a serpent.
Some days are like that.
I found out what I do for a living.
I am the agent of iniquity and death.
They gave you Mr. Richfield's job?
Don't you understand? I push down trees.
As we speak, they're falling
by the hundreds.
I tried to rally my fellow workers,
but none would heed my call.
Earl, I don't get this.
You've been pushing down trees
for 20 years.
And now it must end.
Dinosaurs must learn
to show respect for all living things.
This plant is dead.
Where can I chuck it?
[gasps] Good heavens.
Has everyone gone mad?
What are you doing with him?
Well, Mom told me
to clean up my room,
and "he" was too big to flush.
He is not dead.
- [sighs]
- Let me speak with him.
What has she done with you?
No water in a month? No direct sunlight?
- Oops.
- Earl.
Let him finish!
She has not spoken to you?
For shame!
I... was...
Have courage, little fellow.
You will flourish. For you are
like no other living creature.
Repeat after me.
"I am special."
He is crazy!
- [doorbell chimes]
- Charlene, why don't you get that?
With pleasure.
Earl, your behavior
has become rather eccentric lately.
At first, the change was refreshing,
but now you're weirding me out.
- [door closes]
- I understand your concern,
but there is an explanation for this
that will put your mind at rest.
I... am a tree.
You are out of your tree.
- Yes!
- Hmm?
When lightning hit your husband,
he was trying to push me down.
Somehow, our souls switched places.
Uh... huh.
And did you mention this
tree business to anyone else?
OK, which one of you's the birch?
I am a willow.
Whatever. Slip on the jacket,
lumber boy.
- We're going for a ride.
- Yeah.
- Wait a minute!
- Now, don't you worry, ma'am.
Mr. Richfield's made
all the arrangements.
- Where are you taking him?
- Don't worry about me.
You have to save the trees.
Do it for your husband, Fran.
He's still out there,
there isn't much time!
[both struggling]
[gasps]
Hasta la vista, baby.
[humming]
- [cracking]
- Oh, my! Oh, my!
Oh, oh, oh, oh!
Do you mind keeping it down?
I'm having a rough day.
My eggs. They're hatching.
Hmm? Oh! Well, I should do something.
- What should I do?
- You're doing it.
What? I'm just standing here,
holding the nest up.
- Exactly.
- Oh... l see.
I'm part of this. I'm protecting them.
- Keeping them safe from predators.
- Mmm.
Now you're starting
to sound like a tree.
- [eggs cracking]
- [murmurs]
[chirping]
- [Earl] Oh.
- Ah.
Oh, they're cute.
You know, this ecosystem thing's
beginning to make some sense to me.
I'm part of a vast living system.
Think this is enough dynamite?
The part that's about to get blown up!
They're gonna blow the tree up?
Doesn't look good.
Well, what about the baby birdies
and the little furry guy?
The tree was very worried
about his new friends.
[Earl] Birdies? Mr. Squirrel?
You gotta get out.
All these trees are coming down.
They're knocking down all the trees?
What for?
To build new homes.
But, these trees are homes.
Not for dinosaurs.
- We live here.
- [Earl groans]
You know about the ecosystem,
but I know about dinosaurs.
If you're in their way,
they'll get rid of you.
But, if we go, what happens to you?
Don't worry about me, just go.
Go on, fly away! Go, hurry.
Good luck, guys.
Good luck.
- [Fran] Earl?
- Hmm?
- Are you in there?
- [gasps]
Earl? It's me, Fran.
Fran! Fran, I'm over here!
- [sighs]
- [Earl groans]
Fran! Here, behind you!
- Turn around.
- Earl. Are you in there?
No, no! I'm over here!
Oh, please, Fran, you gotta hear me.
Frannie! [grunts]
- Uh. What am I doing?
- [tree creaking]
My husband's not a tree.
He's lost his mind.
I just have to go home and deal with it.
Huh? Hello?
Is someone there?
[gasps]
- Earl!
- [exhales]
Oh, Earl! It is you!
Oh.
- Oh, Fran. Oh, my Frannie.
- [sighs]
[both nuzzling]
[dinosaur clears throat]
Oh, Gus.
I know what you must think,
but this is not a tree. It's Earl!
You have to believe me!
- And we do, Mrs. Sinclair.
- Yes.
We surely do.
Maybe we can talk about it over here,
away from the high explosives.
Take your hands off her!
- Huh?
- Earl, what happened?
I threw a sink
through the window and escaped.
- [sighs]
- Do not touch this tree.
Oh, no, not the messenger
of death routine again?
Come on. Richfield's gonna be mad
if we don't blow up the tree
- before the storm hits.
- Yeah.
No.
If you insist on murdering this tree,
then you will have to kill me, too.
- [thunder]
- Huh?
[growls]
- Sorry, Earl. A job's a job.
- True.
- [sighs]
- Earl!
Be brave, Fran.
I can feel your husband's soul
within this tree
and it is filled with courage.
- [thunder rumbling]
- Mommy!
[Earl crying]
[all] Oh!
[thunderclap]
[both yelling]
[Baby] Hold it! Wait a second.
Lightning hit the same tree... twice?
It's a fable.
OK, just checking.
- Oh, geez, not again.
- Earl?
Oh! Earl.
My Earl.
[both gasp]
[exhales]
Fran? Fran, is that you?
[grunts] What are you doing here?
Earl, it's you. You're back.
[groans] Fran, what's going on?
Don't you remember?
I remember Mr. Richfield asked
to push down some tree.
- Then it's all kind of blank.
- But, you were in the tree.
- And the tree was you.
- What?
[gasps] Oh, my goodness.
The tree.
Well, that's one less tree
for me to worry about.
Earl, that wasn't just a tree.
You're telling me?
That was a hernia waiting to happen.
Come on, Fran, I got a headache.
Let's go home. [moans]
[Ethyl] "There is a time when each of us
shall return to the earth."
This was the tree's time."
Come on, Fran.
"But it was nature who decided so,"
nature and not the dinosaur.
The end.”
Beautiful story, isn't it?
Stupid.
Oh. And why would you say that?
The tree pusher,
he didn't learn anything.
Stupid!
But did you learn something?
- Yeah.
- Good.
Now, go to sleep.
Oh, OK. Come on, Snookie.
Oh!
Good story!
.