Dinosaurs (1991–1994): Season 3, Episode 17 - Swamp Music - full transcript
[rock music]
Oh. That was the extended dance version
of Life's A Blur brought to you by,
Speed Metal Bubblegum.
For that searing burst of intense flavor
that only lasts a second.
Have Mum pick some up today.
Next up, Sonic Boom with Ahh!
- Ahh!
- [Baby laughing]
Can you believe this music, Spike?
It's so awesome.
It has the power to unite youth,
it has the power to make a difference.
What's Speed Metal Gum?
It has the power to sell gum.
I'll tell you what. When you're ready,
I'll introduce you to some real music.
What do you mean, "real" music?
There's a joint I know,
down on the swamp,
where the mammals jam all night.
The swamp? That's on
the other side of the tracks.
Yeah, it's dangerous.
It's forbidden.
The kind of place
your parents never let you go.
- OK, I'm in.
- Alright.
- We'll have to sneak out.
- I'm telling.
- Difficult without a tongue.
- Oh.
- Telling what?
- They're going to the swamp.
And he's gonna rip my tongue out!
Yeah, well, I'm with you
on the tongue thing.
- Hey!
- But, no son of mine
is going down to a smelly swamp to
mingle with mammals.
This was your idea,
wasn't it, rag-head?
Oh, Mr. S., look upon it as culture.
You want young Robert
to be exposed to culture, don't ya?
Not a different culture. Swamp mammals
are an entirely different species.
They're hairy, dirty and dangerous.
- Dad, you've never even met one.
- It doesn't stop me from having
an uninformed,
flagrantly prejudiced opinion.
You're not going down
to any swamp, and that's final.
OK, Dad, you win.
- I do?
- Mm-hmm. Yeah.
But, would it be alright with you
if Spike and I went bowling?
Bowling? Great!
Hey, here.
Rent some good shoes.
[laughs] Thanks, Dad.
- Bye.
- [Spike] Adios.
Uh, we'll make sure
to bowl a strike for you.
- [exhales] Born to be a dad.
- [door closes]
[muffled music]
Alright, there it is.
This is gonna be fun.
- Yeah.
- Um... stay low.
[exhales]
Yes. Yeah.
- They are smoking tonight.
- Yeah, what a colorful experience.
My horizons are broadened,
let's go home.
Oh? Well then,
you're going home alone.
OK, fine.
- Uh...
- [howling in distance]
Well, I'll just uh, go in
and... wait in the lobby.
Yeah.
[loud music stops abruptly]
Uh... howdy.
Honey, I'm home.
Aaah!
- Ohh!
- Ow!
- Ow!
- Ooh!
[chuckling] Aah!
[male voice] You mind
closing that door?
You're letting the bugs in.
Oh, sorry.
Much obliged, now where were we?
Oh, yeah, here we go.
One, two, three.
[blues music]
♪ Quicksand sucked my mama down
♪ Insects carried off my wife
♪ Yeah quicksand
sucked my mama down
- Nice place.
- Shh.
♪ Well lava burned my house down
♪ And these are
the good days of my life
- ♪ Cause I'm swamped
- ♪ Swamped
♪ And I tell you
it's no picnic at all
Sing it, Daddy.
♪ I said I'm swamped
♪ Andi tell you it's no picnic at all
♪ My feet are always soggy
♪ And I track mud down the hall?
Ah, yeah.
Yeah. [chuckles]
[harmonica solo]
[crowd] Yeah! Whoo!
- [clapping]
- [both laughing]
[both] Thank you, thank you.
Alright. Yes.
[screams loudly]
Um... sorry.
Yeah.
Uh, does the phrase, "a modicum of cool"
mean anything to you?
- Here's another story of tragedy.
- Tragedy!
- Pain.
- Pain!
- And loss, that you might enjoy.
- Oh, yeah.
- I call it, Gangrene Blues. Hit it.
- Yeah.
[upbeat blues]
♪ Well you say I'm smelling funky
♪ I hate to break the news
♪ I stepped in a trap
it shut with a snap
♪ Now I got the gangrene blues
♪ Talking 'bout the gangrene blues
♪ Guess my leg is...
- [howling]
- Alright. These guys jam.
I can't understand why dinosaurs
don't come down here in herds?
Well, as I recall, I practically had
to drag you in here by your tail.
Hey, Sonny, there's Spike.
Let's go and say hi.
Alright, yeah.
Alright, here comes Howlin' Jay.
He's a legendary swamper,
so be cool and show
a little respect for the guy.
Spike how are ya,
you big scaly, tail-dragging
skin-shedding, top-of-the-food-chain,
20-ton lizard scum!
Couldn't be better,
you fur-covered,
flea-bitten, lactating mammal!
Who's your girlfriend?
Ah, oh, ah, Howlin' Jay,
Sonny, I'd like you to meet a very
dear friend of mine, Robert Sinclair.
Uh, hi.
Uh...
...Mr. Howlin', sir,
your music, it's so alive.
It's so vital,
it's so, uh... depressing.
- I don't know the guy.
- Mmm?
My mother's calling.
[stammers] I guess that
would mean you like it?
What, are you kidding?
You should make a record.
- Dinosaurs would go crazy for this.
- Did you hear that? A record!
- We already got a record.
- Hmm?
Most consecutive gigs
without getting paid.
- [groans]
- We get along just fine down here.
And I don't need you filling
my boy's head with crazy ideas.
- But, I like what he said.
- It stinks.
Listen, we got our soggy, little world.
And the lizard, well, he's got his.
- [groans]
- The lizard?
- Pop calls all dinosaurs "the lizard."
- Right.
It's a chance to change things.
Your music could bridge
the gap between species.
That's right.
All the world needs
is love, love, love.
Now, kiss my furry, blue butt goodbye.
[scoffs]
Listen... don't worry about Pop.
He's from a different generation.
Me? I'm sick of this swamp.
I'm ready to move up.
A record just might do the trick.
But, Howlin' Jay said...
If a record company was interested, he'd
go along. Think they'd be interested?
- Well, I know how to find out.
- Uh-huh.
- Bad idea.
- But why?
Look, this is swamp music.
Take it out of the swamp, it ain't
swamp music anymore, capisce?
Their lives are terrible here. If they
sold records, they could make money.
We could move out.
We could get some things.
Look, Sinclair, everything in life
does not have to be a cause.
So, let's just give it a rest.
Alright, fine. No record company.
[groans]
But, would you mind
if Sonny and I went bowling?
- B-bowling?
- That's very funny.
Go on, go bowling if you want to,
but remember, I warned you.
Ah, it's not that I wouldn't mind
rolling a few frames with you, but,
- I have...
- Uh, n-n-no. You don't understand.
- It's a bad joke.
- Oh, yeah.
Woof. Oh, Trish, sweetheart,
I dropped my pencil again. Could you
bend over and pick it up for me?
Sure, right after I call my attorney.
I was kidding. It was a joke.
You are so tense,
let me rub your shoulders a bit.
- [dial tone]
- Another joke, lighten up.
I'm just trying to keep
the mood light and friendly.
- What do you want?
- Mr. Warner?
- Yes?
- The music on this tape is so gutsy,
so vital, so new, that it's gonna
revolutionize the music business.
Not interested.
You said on TV you're
looking for exciting, new talent.
The public doesn't want new,
they want what they already know,
regurgitated, again
and again and again.
But, with different chicks on the cover.
Now, get lost, kid. I'm busy.
- [lecherous muttering]
- I'm not leaving.
- What?
- This music's too important.
I'm staying on this couch
until you listen to this.
OK, couch-boy.
I'll listen to your tape,
cause you remind me of me
before I sold out.
- You got spunk, you got guts.
- Yeah.
You got a blue, furry thing
behind you, get me a shoe!
[stammers] No, that's Sonny.
He's in the band.
- I play guitar, do some arranging.
- We're talking about a mammal record?
- Yeah.
- I don't make mammal records.
I want you and you
out of the reception area.
Trish, call the cops...
or the pound, or something.
- Do it.
- You're making a big mistake.
Yeah, kid, I'm making the mistake.
I got a wall full of mistakes.
Let's get outta here.
Mistakes that bought me
three houses.
Count 'em, kid. Don't you tell me my
business, you little punk kid.
Imagine me making
mammal records, rotten kids.
Trish, pop this into
your Dictaphone and tape over it!
I'll be in my office.
Oh, what I headache I've got.
- ♪ Quicksand sucked my mama down
- Hmm.
♪ Insects carried off my wife
Hmm.
[groans] Maybe Pop was right.
Maybe we'll never get
a fair shake from the lizard.
Don't talk that way
or we'll never get anywhere.
- Yeah.
- [Jay] You again?
You're not laying more of that "fame and
fortune" nonsense on Sonny, are you?
- We were just talking.
- You can stop talking now,
cause nobody wants to hear it.
And the band's gonna play.
So, hush up!
[blues music]
[shudders]
- Huh?
- No. Don't stop.
This is what I love.
It's vital, it's raw.
It's primitive. You!
Mineral water with a twist, now!
- Who is this guy?
- Ty Warner, Volcanic Records.
- Dig your sounds.
- Wow.
A record executive, Pop.
Looks like we've been discovered.
Somebody's been discovered.
- [whimpers]
- Mr. Jay, I have to tell you,
I was totally "jazzed"
by what I heard
on your demo tape.
Can I call you Howlin'?
- No.
- Very colorful.
That song was bold, it was original.
And totally unique.
I want... ten more just like it.
Sinclair, what is going on here?
Uh, Mr. Warner wants
to make a swamp record.
I told you dinosaurs
would love your music.
I told you to mind your own business.
- Oh, no, Pop, please.
- Howlin' Jay, it's gonna work out.
Hey, Howlin', listen to the kid.
Trust me, I only care about you, babe.
Whoo!
♪ I was born alive
♪ Mama didn't lay no eggs
♪ I got a furry head
A furry back
♪ And fur on everything
♪ I was made for fovin'
♪ I'm a hot-blooded vertebrate
♪ If you're looking for a teddy bear
♪ Girl there's no need to wait
- ♪ Cause I'm a mammal
- A what?
♪ Spelled M-A double M-A-L
That's right, y'all.
[laughing]
♪ Mmmm Mammal
♪ Ispell M-A double M-A-L
♪ Oh yeah
[Howlin']} Ow
- [music ends]
- Yeah!
It's gold! Look at it glisten. Ha-ha!
I'm telling you,
there is a dynamism in this room.
It's electrical, it's chemical,
it's... electro-chemical.
- Mr. Warner?
- Yes?
When are we gonna get paid
for all this music we're playing?
Rest assured, the monies
are being appropriated
and probably channeled as we speak,
oh, my gosh, look at the time.
I gotta go. Peace.
- Yeah.
- Oh, you guys sounded great.
- Oh...
- Just did what it is we do.
Ah, don't be so modest,
things are looking up.
Even you have to admit that.
All I'm gonna admit is...
...I'm hungry.
- [all laughing]
- Hey.
How about we go back to my house
for a celebration dinner?
- My mom's a great cook.
- [stammers]
Listen, Robbie,
thanks for the thought, but...
- ...I'm not sure that's a good idea.
- No.
Yeah, Robbie, we...
we don't wanna trouble your folks.
[Robbie] No no no.
Why would my folks mind having
over a group of talented, soon-to-be
world famous recording artists?
Oh, Ma? Guess who's coming to dinner?
Uh...
Awful quiet.
Huh?
You don't look like us.
Your folks never had
mammals over for dinner?
All the time! They're yummy.
Hmm?
[chuckles]
- [all chuckling]
- Don't kids say the darnedest things?
Uh... Mr. and Mrs. Sinclair,
uh... thanks for the hospitality,
but, I can see this was a mistake, uh...
- ...we should leave.
- Oh, don't rush off.
They're quite welcome
to rush if they want to, dear.
I apologize.
My boy dragged us all into this.
Uh, he doesn't quite understand
how the world works.
Oh, don't blame your boy.
This is all my son's fault.
He thinks all the species should get
together and work out their differences.
- He's got no sense.
- My boy's worse.
Mouthing off about how we're all
basically the same under the skin.
And we all have so much in common.
- The big dummy.
- Yeah, I couldn't agree more.
My kid, the idiot,
thinks if everyone sits down
at the same table
somehow they'll all get along.
[both] Dopes.
[both laughing]
- Hey, pass the rolls, Earl.
- You got it, pal.
How about that?
They found some common ground.
Yeah, parents are the same
the world over.
No matter what their race,
creed or color,
they all hate their kids.
So, Earl, it seems as though you
and Howlin' Jay really hit it off.
Yeah. You know, he's actually
an upright-type family guy,
despite a life spent playing
juke joints for free beer.
Robbie, you've made some
wonderful new friends. Robbie?
♪ I was born live
Can you imagine?
♪ Mama didn't lay no egg
Honest
♪ I got a furry head
♪ A furry back
♪ And fur on every leg
♪ Cause I'm a mammal
♪ That's spelled M-uh
♪ A-uh double M
JA-I-ET
I'm a mammal, baby.
Robbie, what's the matter?
You look like you've
seen something you cherished
horribly cheapened and degraded.
[groans]
You sold us out!
Absolutely untrue.
I saw Perry Lewellen on TV last night.
OK, I did.
But, there's a very good reason.
I made an obscene amount of money.
What about Sonny and Howlin' Jay?
Nobody wants to listen to mammals.
Lewellen's been around,
he's beloved.
He knows how to interpret
mammal material
in a way that's accessible to reptiles.
That's stealing!
Ah, tomato, tomato...
...it's all semantics.
What am I supposed to tell them?
They're counting on that money.
Oh, I'd stay clear of that group.
Those little furballs
have very sharp teeth.
And when they realize
you sold them out,
well, it won't be pretty.
Wow, 12 channels
and it's all snow.
- I'm entertained.
- [sighs] Give me a minute.
I don't know why
you bought that darned thing.
If you ask me,
you're all a bunch of fools.
Spending money we
don't even have on anew TV.
Yeah, but we're gonna
get paid real soon.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Ain't that right?
We'll get paid real soon,
and, in the meantime, we might as well
enjoy the good life... on credit.
Right.
Guys, there's something
I gotta tell ya.
Wait, hold it, hold it.
Something's coming in.
[man] Swamp music, as you've
never heard it before.
Interpreted by the incomparable
Perry "Golden Adenoids" Lewellen.
♪ Quicksand sucked my mama down
- What?
- ♪ Insects carried off my wife
[shouts]
- ♪ Quicksand
- [groans]
♪ Sucked my mama down
♪ Giant bugs carried off my wife
♪ Well lava burned my house down
[groans] Look, that's what
I was about to tell you.
Warner gave all the songs to Lewellen.
He ripped us off.
You mean he ripped us off.
That was our music he stole.
Not that anyone would recognize it.
Is that a cello?
Dad, you were right about the reptiles.
Deal with a lizard and you get burned.
I'll never leave the swamp again.
- I hate...
- Shh. I wanna hear this.
[man] The number one selling album
on the supercontinent
by the king of swamp music.
It's Perry's Swinging Swamp Party.
Due to overwhelming demand,
allow six weeks for delivery.
Will you look at that?
That fool's making money with our music.
- Yeah, we got shafted.
- I know that.
- But you're missing the big picture.
- Huh?
If he can sell records
doing that to our music,
imagine what we can do,
giving the folks the real thing.
But, you can't trust the lizard.
Forget the lizard. I spent a lifetime
moaning about what the lizard did to me.
Now, I'm starting to hear
the same thing out of your mouth.
And I don't like it.
[moans] But what are we
supposed to do?
The lizard won't ever give us a break.
Then we make our own break.
No reason we can't cut our own records
and sell them ourselves.
You know, a mammal-owned
record company.
- Oh.
- Yeah, Howlin' Jay's right.
We don't have to stop at records.
We can merchandise all kinds of stuff.
- Like what?
- I don't know.
Hey, how about Howlin' Jay's hat?
Yeah.
Uh... maybe we should
just stick with the records.
Oh, no. This is brilliant.
We start small.
When the music catches on,
we branch out.
Open our own stores,
produce our own videos.
We could change the face
of the music industry.
Of course, by "we,"
I mean you guys exclusively
and not me, in anyway whatsoever.
Mm-hmm.
[grunting] Greetings, swinging cats.
Dad? What are you doing here?
Hey, I get the blues, too.
Well, the cable's on the fritz
and I'm feeling mighty low.
- What's that?
- My old axe.
I dug it out from the attic
and brushed up on my chops.
- [all] Oh.
- Let's jam.
- [accordion plays loudly]
- [all moaning]
Let's get funky.
This ain't gonna be pretty.
Yeah.
Alright.
Let's go.
Alright.
Yeah.
[Earl scatting]
Yeah. Yeah.
Alright.
[Earl continues scatting]
♪ Ooh
- [Earl] Yeah.
- [Jay] Ha!
.
Oh. That was the extended dance version
of Life's A Blur brought to you by,
Speed Metal Bubblegum.
For that searing burst of intense flavor
that only lasts a second.
Have Mum pick some up today.
Next up, Sonic Boom with Ahh!
- Ahh!
- [Baby laughing]
Can you believe this music, Spike?
It's so awesome.
It has the power to unite youth,
it has the power to make a difference.
What's Speed Metal Gum?
It has the power to sell gum.
I'll tell you what. When you're ready,
I'll introduce you to some real music.
What do you mean, "real" music?
There's a joint I know,
down on the swamp,
where the mammals jam all night.
The swamp? That's on
the other side of the tracks.
Yeah, it's dangerous.
It's forbidden.
The kind of place
your parents never let you go.
- OK, I'm in.
- Alright.
- We'll have to sneak out.
- I'm telling.
- Difficult without a tongue.
- Oh.
- Telling what?
- They're going to the swamp.
And he's gonna rip my tongue out!
Yeah, well, I'm with you
on the tongue thing.
- Hey!
- But, no son of mine
is going down to a smelly swamp to
mingle with mammals.
This was your idea,
wasn't it, rag-head?
Oh, Mr. S., look upon it as culture.
You want young Robert
to be exposed to culture, don't ya?
Not a different culture. Swamp mammals
are an entirely different species.
They're hairy, dirty and dangerous.
- Dad, you've never even met one.
- It doesn't stop me from having
an uninformed,
flagrantly prejudiced opinion.
You're not going down
to any swamp, and that's final.
OK, Dad, you win.
- I do?
- Mm-hmm. Yeah.
But, would it be alright with you
if Spike and I went bowling?
Bowling? Great!
Hey, here.
Rent some good shoes.
[laughs] Thanks, Dad.
- Bye.
- [Spike] Adios.
Uh, we'll make sure
to bowl a strike for you.
- [exhales] Born to be a dad.
- [door closes]
[muffled music]
Alright, there it is.
This is gonna be fun.
- Yeah.
- Um... stay low.
[exhales]
Yes. Yeah.
- They are smoking tonight.
- Yeah, what a colorful experience.
My horizons are broadened,
let's go home.
Oh? Well then,
you're going home alone.
OK, fine.
- Uh...
- [howling in distance]
Well, I'll just uh, go in
and... wait in the lobby.
Yeah.
[loud music stops abruptly]
Uh... howdy.
Honey, I'm home.
Aaah!
- Ohh!
- Ow!
- Ow!
- Ooh!
[chuckling] Aah!
[male voice] You mind
closing that door?
You're letting the bugs in.
Oh, sorry.
Much obliged, now where were we?
Oh, yeah, here we go.
One, two, three.
[blues music]
♪ Quicksand sucked my mama down
♪ Insects carried off my wife
♪ Yeah quicksand
sucked my mama down
- Nice place.
- Shh.
♪ Well lava burned my house down
♪ And these are
the good days of my life
- ♪ Cause I'm swamped
- ♪ Swamped
♪ And I tell you
it's no picnic at all
Sing it, Daddy.
♪ I said I'm swamped
♪ Andi tell you it's no picnic at all
♪ My feet are always soggy
♪ And I track mud down the hall?
Ah, yeah.
Yeah. [chuckles]
[harmonica solo]
[crowd] Yeah! Whoo!
- [clapping]
- [both laughing]
[both] Thank you, thank you.
Alright. Yes.
[screams loudly]
Um... sorry.
Yeah.
Uh, does the phrase, "a modicum of cool"
mean anything to you?
- Here's another story of tragedy.
- Tragedy!
- Pain.
- Pain!
- And loss, that you might enjoy.
- Oh, yeah.
- I call it, Gangrene Blues. Hit it.
- Yeah.
[upbeat blues]
♪ Well you say I'm smelling funky
♪ I hate to break the news
♪ I stepped in a trap
it shut with a snap
♪ Now I got the gangrene blues
♪ Talking 'bout the gangrene blues
♪ Guess my leg is...
- [howling]
- Alright. These guys jam.
I can't understand why dinosaurs
don't come down here in herds?
Well, as I recall, I practically had
to drag you in here by your tail.
Hey, Sonny, there's Spike.
Let's go and say hi.
Alright, yeah.
Alright, here comes Howlin' Jay.
He's a legendary swamper,
so be cool and show
a little respect for the guy.
Spike how are ya,
you big scaly, tail-dragging
skin-shedding, top-of-the-food-chain,
20-ton lizard scum!
Couldn't be better,
you fur-covered,
flea-bitten, lactating mammal!
Who's your girlfriend?
Ah, oh, ah, Howlin' Jay,
Sonny, I'd like you to meet a very
dear friend of mine, Robert Sinclair.
Uh, hi.
Uh...
...Mr. Howlin', sir,
your music, it's so alive.
It's so vital,
it's so, uh... depressing.
- I don't know the guy.
- Mmm?
My mother's calling.
[stammers] I guess that
would mean you like it?
What, are you kidding?
You should make a record.
- Dinosaurs would go crazy for this.
- Did you hear that? A record!
- We already got a record.
- Hmm?
Most consecutive gigs
without getting paid.
- [groans]
- We get along just fine down here.
And I don't need you filling
my boy's head with crazy ideas.
- But, I like what he said.
- It stinks.
Listen, we got our soggy, little world.
And the lizard, well, he's got his.
- [groans]
- The lizard?
- Pop calls all dinosaurs "the lizard."
- Right.
It's a chance to change things.
Your music could bridge
the gap between species.
That's right.
All the world needs
is love, love, love.
Now, kiss my furry, blue butt goodbye.
[scoffs]
Listen... don't worry about Pop.
He's from a different generation.
Me? I'm sick of this swamp.
I'm ready to move up.
A record just might do the trick.
But, Howlin' Jay said...
If a record company was interested, he'd
go along. Think they'd be interested?
- Well, I know how to find out.
- Uh-huh.
- Bad idea.
- But why?
Look, this is swamp music.
Take it out of the swamp, it ain't
swamp music anymore, capisce?
Their lives are terrible here. If they
sold records, they could make money.
We could move out.
We could get some things.
Look, Sinclair, everything in life
does not have to be a cause.
So, let's just give it a rest.
Alright, fine. No record company.
[groans]
But, would you mind
if Sonny and I went bowling?
- B-bowling?
- That's very funny.
Go on, go bowling if you want to,
but remember, I warned you.
Ah, it's not that I wouldn't mind
rolling a few frames with you, but,
- I have...
- Uh, n-n-no. You don't understand.
- It's a bad joke.
- Oh, yeah.
Woof. Oh, Trish, sweetheart,
I dropped my pencil again. Could you
bend over and pick it up for me?
Sure, right after I call my attorney.
I was kidding. It was a joke.
You are so tense,
let me rub your shoulders a bit.
- [dial tone]
- Another joke, lighten up.
I'm just trying to keep
the mood light and friendly.
- What do you want?
- Mr. Warner?
- Yes?
- The music on this tape is so gutsy,
so vital, so new, that it's gonna
revolutionize the music business.
Not interested.
You said on TV you're
looking for exciting, new talent.
The public doesn't want new,
they want what they already know,
regurgitated, again
and again and again.
But, with different chicks on the cover.
Now, get lost, kid. I'm busy.
- [lecherous muttering]
- I'm not leaving.
- What?
- This music's too important.
I'm staying on this couch
until you listen to this.
OK, couch-boy.
I'll listen to your tape,
cause you remind me of me
before I sold out.
- You got spunk, you got guts.
- Yeah.
You got a blue, furry thing
behind you, get me a shoe!
[stammers] No, that's Sonny.
He's in the band.
- I play guitar, do some arranging.
- We're talking about a mammal record?
- Yeah.
- I don't make mammal records.
I want you and you
out of the reception area.
Trish, call the cops...
or the pound, or something.
- Do it.
- You're making a big mistake.
Yeah, kid, I'm making the mistake.
I got a wall full of mistakes.
Let's get outta here.
Mistakes that bought me
three houses.
Count 'em, kid. Don't you tell me my
business, you little punk kid.
Imagine me making
mammal records, rotten kids.
Trish, pop this into
your Dictaphone and tape over it!
I'll be in my office.
Oh, what I headache I've got.
- ♪ Quicksand sucked my mama down
- Hmm.
♪ Insects carried off my wife
Hmm.
[groans] Maybe Pop was right.
Maybe we'll never get
a fair shake from the lizard.
Don't talk that way
or we'll never get anywhere.
- Yeah.
- [Jay] You again?
You're not laying more of that "fame and
fortune" nonsense on Sonny, are you?
- We were just talking.
- You can stop talking now,
cause nobody wants to hear it.
And the band's gonna play.
So, hush up!
[blues music]
[shudders]
- Huh?
- No. Don't stop.
This is what I love.
It's vital, it's raw.
It's primitive. You!
Mineral water with a twist, now!
- Who is this guy?
- Ty Warner, Volcanic Records.
- Dig your sounds.
- Wow.
A record executive, Pop.
Looks like we've been discovered.
Somebody's been discovered.
- [whimpers]
- Mr. Jay, I have to tell you,
I was totally "jazzed"
by what I heard
on your demo tape.
Can I call you Howlin'?
- No.
- Very colorful.
That song was bold, it was original.
And totally unique.
I want... ten more just like it.
Sinclair, what is going on here?
Uh, Mr. Warner wants
to make a swamp record.
I told you dinosaurs
would love your music.
I told you to mind your own business.
- Oh, no, Pop, please.
- Howlin' Jay, it's gonna work out.
Hey, Howlin', listen to the kid.
Trust me, I only care about you, babe.
Whoo!
♪ I was born alive
♪ Mama didn't lay no eggs
♪ I got a furry head
A furry back
♪ And fur on everything
♪ I was made for fovin'
♪ I'm a hot-blooded vertebrate
♪ If you're looking for a teddy bear
♪ Girl there's no need to wait
- ♪ Cause I'm a mammal
- A what?
♪ Spelled M-A double M-A-L
That's right, y'all.
[laughing]
♪ Mmmm Mammal
♪ Ispell M-A double M-A-L
♪ Oh yeah
[Howlin']} Ow
- [music ends]
- Yeah!
It's gold! Look at it glisten. Ha-ha!
I'm telling you,
there is a dynamism in this room.
It's electrical, it's chemical,
it's... electro-chemical.
- Mr. Warner?
- Yes?
When are we gonna get paid
for all this music we're playing?
Rest assured, the monies
are being appropriated
and probably channeled as we speak,
oh, my gosh, look at the time.
I gotta go. Peace.
- Yeah.
- Oh, you guys sounded great.
- Oh...
- Just did what it is we do.
Ah, don't be so modest,
things are looking up.
Even you have to admit that.
All I'm gonna admit is...
...I'm hungry.
- [all laughing]
- Hey.
How about we go back to my house
for a celebration dinner?
- My mom's a great cook.
- [stammers]
Listen, Robbie,
thanks for the thought, but...
- ...I'm not sure that's a good idea.
- No.
Yeah, Robbie, we...
we don't wanna trouble your folks.
[Robbie] No no no.
Why would my folks mind having
over a group of talented, soon-to-be
world famous recording artists?
Oh, Ma? Guess who's coming to dinner?
Uh...
Awful quiet.
Huh?
You don't look like us.
Your folks never had
mammals over for dinner?
All the time! They're yummy.
Hmm?
[chuckles]
- [all chuckling]
- Don't kids say the darnedest things?
Uh... Mr. and Mrs. Sinclair,
uh... thanks for the hospitality,
but, I can see this was a mistake, uh...
- ...we should leave.
- Oh, don't rush off.
They're quite welcome
to rush if they want to, dear.
I apologize.
My boy dragged us all into this.
Uh, he doesn't quite understand
how the world works.
Oh, don't blame your boy.
This is all my son's fault.
He thinks all the species should get
together and work out their differences.
- He's got no sense.
- My boy's worse.
Mouthing off about how we're all
basically the same under the skin.
And we all have so much in common.
- The big dummy.
- Yeah, I couldn't agree more.
My kid, the idiot,
thinks if everyone sits down
at the same table
somehow they'll all get along.
[both] Dopes.
[both laughing]
- Hey, pass the rolls, Earl.
- You got it, pal.
How about that?
They found some common ground.
Yeah, parents are the same
the world over.
No matter what their race,
creed or color,
they all hate their kids.
So, Earl, it seems as though you
and Howlin' Jay really hit it off.
Yeah. You know, he's actually
an upright-type family guy,
despite a life spent playing
juke joints for free beer.
Robbie, you've made some
wonderful new friends. Robbie?
♪ I was born live
Can you imagine?
♪ Mama didn't lay no egg
Honest
♪ I got a furry head
♪ A furry back
♪ And fur on every leg
♪ Cause I'm a mammal
♪ That's spelled M-uh
♪ A-uh double M
JA-I-ET
I'm a mammal, baby.
Robbie, what's the matter?
You look like you've
seen something you cherished
horribly cheapened and degraded.
[groans]
You sold us out!
Absolutely untrue.
I saw Perry Lewellen on TV last night.
OK, I did.
But, there's a very good reason.
I made an obscene amount of money.
What about Sonny and Howlin' Jay?
Nobody wants to listen to mammals.
Lewellen's been around,
he's beloved.
He knows how to interpret
mammal material
in a way that's accessible to reptiles.
That's stealing!
Ah, tomato, tomato...
...it's all semantics.
What am I supposed to tell them?
They're counting on that money.
Oh, I'd stay clear of that group.
Those little furballs
have very sharp teeth.
And when they realize
you sold them out,
well, it won't be pretty.
Wow, 12 channels
and it's all snow.
- I'm entertained.
- [sighs] Give me a minute.
I don't know why
you bought that darned thing.
If you ask me,
you're all a bunch of fools.
Spending money we
don't even have on anew TV.
Yeah, but we're gonna
get paid real soon.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Ain't that right?
We'll get paid real soon,
and, in the meantime, we might as well
enjoy the good life... on credit.
Right.
Guys, there's something
I gotta tell ya.
Wait, hold it, hold it.
Something's coming in.
[man] Swamp music, as you've
never heard it before.
Interpreted by the incomparable
Perry "Golden Adenoids" Lewellen.
♪ Quicksand sucked my mama down
- What?
- ♪ Insects carried off my wife
[shouts]
- ♪ Quicksand
- [groans]
♪ Sucked my mama down
♪ Giant bugs carried off my wife
♪ Well lava burned my house down
[groans] Look, that's what
I was about to tell you.
Warner gave all the songs to Lewellen.
He ripped us off.
You mean he ripped us off.
That was our music he stole.
Not that anyone would recognize it.
Is that a cello?
Dad, you were right about the reptiles.
Deal with a lizard and you get burned.
I'll never leave the swamp again.
- I hate...
- Shh. I wanna hear this.
[man] The number one selling album
on the supercontinent
by the king of swamp music.
It's Perry's Swinging Swamp Party.
Due to overwhelming demand,
allow six weeks for delivery.
Will you look at that?
That fool's making money with our music.
- Yeah, we got shafted.
- I know that.
- But you're missing the big picture.
- Huh?
If he can sell records
doing that to our music,
imagine what we can do,
giving the folks the real thing.
But, you can't trust the lizard.
Forget the lizard. I spent a lifetime
moaning about what the lizard did to me.
Now, I'm starting to hear
the same thing out of your mouth.
And I don't like it.
[moans] But what are we
supposed to do?
The lizard won't ever give us a break.
Then we make our own break.
No reason we can't cut our own records
and sell them ourselves.
You know, a mammal-owned
record company.
- Oh.
- Yeah, Howlin' Jay's right.
We don't have to stop at records.
We can merchandise all kinds of stuff.
- Like what?
- I don't know.
Hey, how about Howlin' Jay's hat?
Yeah.
Uh... maybe we should
just stick with the records.
Oh, no. This is brilliant.
We start small.
When the music catches on,
we branch out.
Open our own stores,
produce our own videos.
We could change the face
of the music industry.
Of course, by "we,"
I mean you guys exclusively
and not me, in anyway whatsoever.
Mm-hmm.
[grunting] Greetings, swinging cats.
Dad? What are you doing here?
Hey, I get the blues, too.
Well, the cable's on the fritz
and I'm feeling mighty low.
- What's that?
- My old axe.
I dug it out from the attic
and brushed up on my chops.
- [all] Oh.
- Let's jam.
- [accordion plays loudly]
- [all moaning]
Let's get funky.
This ain't gonna be pretty.
Yeah.
Alright.
Let's go.
Alright.
Yeah.
[Earl scatting]
Yeah. Yeah.
Alright.
[Earl continues scatting]
♪ Ooh
- [Earl] Yeah.
- [Jay] Ha!
.