Dinosaurs (1991–1994): Season 3, Episode 11 - The Son Also Rises - full transcript

[Robbie] Robbie Sinclair
needs only to sink this putt

to win the legendary and prestigious
Greater Pangaea Open.

This one's given the players fits
all tournament long.

Is it the slick green,
the left to right break,

or the fiberglass
caveman on the fairway?

- Oh! [giggles]
- Aw, jeez. Aw. Oh, well.

Miniature golf's for kids anyway.

Hey, what do you say we play that game
where we whack the gophers on the head?

I thought your dad said
you had to be home by six.

Ah, so, I'm five minutes late.
Big deal. What's he gonna do?

[man on PA] Attention, Robert
Sinclair, your dad is here.



Ah, I don't believe it! He's always
on my case about something.

I'm really tired of it. I swear, this
time I'll tell him where to get off.

Attention, Robbie,
he looks really steamed.

Uh... I'll be in the windmill.

- OK.
- Aah!

- There you are.
- Dad, what are you doing here?

- You see this grass?
- Huh?

- Do you recognize it?
- Heh.

Well, you should. Because this
is the grass I asked you to mow!

I told you the lawn mower's broken.

Scissors! Cut it with scissors!

Aw, c'mon, don't be ridiculous.

- Jeez, you kids have it too easy.
- Ah.

When I was your age
we didn't have lawn mowers.



We didn't have scissors.

I had to get down on my hands
and knees and graze like a cow.

- Dad!
- [bellowing]

- Oh, no.
- Dad, I'm here with a girl.

It might help if you didn't make me
look like the world's biggest weenie.

Oh, well, pardon me, Mr. Dignified.
I didn't mean to belittle you

as you were about to hit the ball
up the clown's pants.

Could we possibly talk about this
when I get home?

That seems fair.

We're home, now talk.

- All right. Well, for one thing...
- I don't want to hear about it.

- What's going on?
- Aw, jeez.

Fight, fight, fight!

- There's not going to be any fighting.
- Yes, there is.

- [bell rings]
- Round one.

He's always on my case.
Every day it's the same thing.

He comes home and says,
"Frannie, give me a beer"

and then he yells at me
about something.

Oh, not true.
Sometimes I yell at you first.

- Oh, good one!
- [Fran] Shh!

- All he cares about is his stupid lawn!
- Yeah, yeah!

Give me one good reason
why it has to get cut today.

- And make it a good one!
- Because I say so.

Ah, that's not good.

- That's not a reason, Dad.
- No, no!

Why should I have to accept
these lame parental cliches?

'Cause as long as you live under
my roof, you live by my rules.

You gonna take that?

- [grumbling]
- Enough!

We'll stop this belligerent behavior
and we're going to sit down and talk.

Talking to him
doesn't do any good, Mom!

- Bite him!
- Everything's a fight with this kid!

All I ask is that you do everything
I say, exactly how I say it,

immediately and without question.

- Now, is that being so unreasonable?
- I am tired of this, Dad.

- [Baby] Yeah!
- I'm not some stupid little kid

- you can push around anymore!
- Oh, yeah?

- Yeah!
- Yeah!

- [growls and snarls]
- Yeah! Get him!

[snarling continues]

Look at this, Frannie.
He's baring his teeth at me.

- Robert! That is your father.
- [Baby] So?

- [snarls]
- Come on.

Show 'em and lose 'em, pal.

- [snarling]
- [growling]

Honey, I'm home.

Aaah!

- Ohh!
- Ow!

- Ow!
- Ooh!

[chuckling] Aah!

Way to stand up to your father, kid.
It took a lot of guts.

Yeah? You like the part
where I burst into tears

and ran sobbing up to my room?

- It wasn't your finest moment.
- Yeah.

You know, watching you
scrub that tile reminds me

of the way Grandpa Louie
used to punish your Uncle Stan.

Is this another story
from a thousand years ago?

You got someplace to go, grout boy?

So, Grandpa Louie
used to pick on Uncle Stan...

Oh, yeah.
They fought all the time.

It got so bad that Stan finally invoked
the code of the wilderness.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Back then the younger male could
challenge the dominant male

for supremacy. And if he won,

he got to lead the pack.

You mean they actually fought it out?

Oh, yeah. It was savage,
but darn entertaining.

We didn't have TV back then.
We had to make our own fun.

Did Uncle Stan win?
Did he get his dad off his back?

Not quite. What he got was three
broken ribs and a punctured lung.

He stood up for himself. I bet
his dad didn't push him around.

Well, we all pushed him around
until he got out of the wheelchair.

Yeah! I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna challenge my dad!

Wait, Robbie, it's just a colorful
anecdote from an old lady.

Yeah, yeah. We're gonna see
who's boss the old-fashioned way.

Oh, no.

By the savage and brutal ritual
that defines us as dinosaurs!

[male clerk] First, you need
to fill out your five page

"challenge for supremacy"
application packet.

Once that's completed legibly
with a number two pencil,

then you need to fill out
your personality profile

and complete the essay portion:

"What being a supreme male
means to me."

Essay?
He challenged my supremacy

- and then dragged me down here.
- Yeah.

I want to teach this
ungrateful kid a lesson.

- Well, come on, then!
- Believe me, sir,

a cogent, well-structured essay
can be a powerful teaching tool.

What's with all this paperwork?
We came down here to do battle.

- Yeah.
- Youngster,

you'll do well to focus some of that
pent-up aggression on these forms.

You need to press hard.

Ha! You have a lot of carbons
to go through.

- Can't we do this like the old days?
- Yeah.

- Huh?
- Oh. Ahem.

How do you mean?

I mean, fight it out,

do battle until this old geezer lies
beaten in the dirt, crying for mercy.

- You got a big mouth.
- Yeah.

Let's see how it looks without teeth!

Ooh, yeah. C'mon, c'mon.

Oh, these threats of violence.
Is it getting warm in here?

- [growling, snarling]
- C'mon, c'mon.

- [howls]
- [snarls]

Oh. Oh, I know I should be good
and follow procedures,

but there's a ruffian inside me,
Mom, that's saying,

"let's get physical!" Oh, yes.

- [buzzing, clanking]
- [growling, gasping]

[Robbie] "Pit of death"?

[gasps]

You see, underneath it all, I've always
been a code of the wilderness guy.

[chuckles]

Uh, say, this, uh, uh,
"death" sign here...?

That's just a figure of speech, right?

Oh, no.

This is the rough-and-tumble
world of brutal male supremacy.

So, you talk a tough game, but
when it comes time to go toe-to-toe

with the mighty megalosaurus
it's a different story.

Oh, yeah? I'm not scared of you.

Then let's go.

All right. Fine with me.

Fine. Come on.

- Ahem.
- [feedback squeals]

Let's get ready to rumble!

[Robbie] Yeah, all right.

- Let's go, boys.
- I'm ready, I'm ready.

- [growling]
- Good luck.

[growling]

- [snarling]
- [Fran] Earl?

[gasps] Earl!

- Hi, honey.
- Earl?

- [snarling]
- What is going on here?

Just providing the kid with some
much needed discipline. [growls]

- [snarls]
- That doesn't scare me. [growls]

Are either of these fellows
an organ donor?

Earl, I want to talk
to you right now!

It'll have to wait till one of us
is dead, dear.

Whoa! [chuckles]

Can't you stop this?

This is not something that
you'd, uh, understand, dearie.

Sometimes we males have to throw off
the constraints of civilization

and go at it like brutes!

- [snarls]
- You don't scare me!

If you harm one scale on that
boy's head, so help me, I'll...

I'll disconnect
your premium cable channel!

You'd make me watch basic?

[shouts]

[gasping]

[both grunting]

Yes! Yes! A takedown! Check it out!

Down. Down.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

- It's over.
- [bell ringing]

We have achieved
dominant position.

No death.
No dismemberment. Darn.

- Come on, young fella.
- [laughs]

Thanks a lot, Fran.

You are the new supreme male
of your household.

- Yes!
- And so,

I present you with the ultimate
symbol of male supremacy:

The TV remote control!

Yes! Ha ha ha ha!
Yeah! Whoo-hoo!

[scoffs] Huh.

Hmm.

Huh.

Ah. Good morning.

Try afternoon. We thought
you were never gonna get up.

Well, that's how it is
when you're supreme male.

- Yeah.
- You can get up or you can not get up.

You can get up and then
go back to bed again.

Or you can not go to bed at all.

Can you shut up?

- Sure... if I want to. [chuckles]
- Oh, boy.

Ah. Whatcha reading?

This is all the stuff they sent you
from the office of male supremacy.

- Uh-huh.
- So, you gonna read it?

Ah, later. Right now I have
"supreme duties" to attend to.

I gotta kick back, watch a little tube,
and order up a pizza for breakfast.

- Great.
- 'Cause I can, you know. [chuckles]

Geek.

- [sighs]
- [turns on TV]

[music plays loudly]

[Earl] Hey! Turn that down in there!

- No.
- [Earl] Okey-dokey.

Wimp!

- Well, that was pretty emasculating.
- 1 don't want to talk about it.

Oh, I understand.
Yeah, it's too painful.

The fact that your son can now
physically dominate you

must have you
sensing your vast age.

- Can we change the subject?
- Gee, Earl,

maybe we should talk about this.

Now, where do you think
this anger is coming from?

[Robbie] Bring me a root beer!

From in there, Roy!
From in the living room!

He took my life, Roy.

Well, you weren't
doing anything with it.

[stammering] Jeez.

Don't you understand?

If I can't be the supreme male
in my own household, what am 1?

What am 1?

- I'm alost soul.
- Yeah.

- [sobbing]
- Oop. l... [stammering]

There, there, big guy.
Let it out. Yeah.

A little crying now and then doesn't
make you any less masculine.

- [sobs louder]
- Uh...

Then again, this blubbering
does tend toward the sissy side.

- [sniffs]
- Yeah.

- Sorry.
- Come on.

You gotta look at this
as an opportunity.

Sure, you lost control
of your house and your family

and everything
you've worked so hard for...

But now you've got time for a hobby.

[sobbing] Yeah, yeah.

I guess I do have
more free time now.

There's a world of possibilities.

Yeah. I could... expand my mind.

Yeah. There's something
you've been neglecting for a while.

- [laughs]
- Yeah. Yeah, sure.

I could, uh, take up painting.

- Yeah, or you could study optometry.
- I could read the classics.

- Hmm.
- Yeah.

Or we could shoot some pool.

- Better!
- [chuckles]

- You know something, Roy?
- What?

I feel a great weight has just been
lifted off my shoulders.

Yeah.

- And dumped on Robbie's.
- [both laugh]

- [laughing continues]
- Ugh, I have to get a job?

- And maintain the household.
- Ugh.

Finance the children's education,

provide food and clothing
for the family and...

And pay the bills.

How come you didn't tell me
about this before I challenged Dad?

Well, I certainly would have
if you or your father had bothered

to consult with me before
you ran off to kill each other.

Mom! Can't you do
something about this?

My hands are tied, Charlene.
The law's the law.

Now Robbie's in over his head. So, he'll
have to try and make the best of it.

Oh, so you don't think
I can handle this?

OK, go ahead. Ask me something.

OK. What are three tax advantages
of a variable annuity?

[laughs] That's so easy.

Don't waste my time,
'cause I gotta go get a job.

Hey, and I'm gonna get a good one, too.
I can do this "head of household" thing.

Hi, everybody, I'm home.
Hey, what's for dinner?

Well, it didn't take you long
to find a job.

Well, I am a B-plus student
and employers are always looking

for someone with creative
and organizational skills.

Why are you wearing knee pads?

Because I'm a root puller, OK?

1 didn't have time to sit through
all the other offers.

- It sounds like interesting work.
- Mm-hmm.

Yeah, you'd think so from the flashy
title, and yet in the topsy-turvy world

of landscaping, it's actually
not one of the glamour jobs.

- Read me a story. Along one.
- Huh?

Over and over.
And act out all the parts.

Look, I'm bushed.
So if it's OK with everybody,

I'm just gonna sit here
and watch TV for awhile.

Before you get involved,
a few things need your attention.

The property tax is due
and we're overdrawn at the bank.

- Yeah.
- There's a leak somewhere in the roof.

And the baby bit the mail carrier.

[laughs]

And I need help
with my geology homework.

Jeez, I just got home. Can't any
of this wait? I had a really rough day.

- [Earl] Oh, too bad.
- Huh?

- (1 had a really neat day. [chuckles)
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Now that I don't have to support
all you dependents,

I realized I can spend
all the money I earn on myself.

- [gasps] Oh! Ah. I want. Give it.
- And so you decided to buy this?

1 didn't buy it, I won it, and all this
other neat stuff, playing skeeball.

- [disgusted sigh]
- [Fran] How much skeeball?

83 bucks worth.

Now, Earl, just because
you don't have to pay the bills

doesn't mean you should fritter
your money away.

Oh, please, Fran.
I've got it under control.

Oh! Gumball?

Hey, could we keep
the chatter down here?

Hey, I still need help with this.

Read me a story.

Can I just have a minute's peace?
I was at work all day!

Robbie, you are the supreme male.
These are your responsibilities now.

If you can't handle them,
maybe you should turn them over

to someone with more maturity.

Whoa! Fran! I can see
your underwear. [chuckles]

- Oh! Oh!
- [Baby, Charlene laughing]

OK, OK, everybody,
listen up, listen up!

Now, look, I can handle
all this stuff, OK?

There's an hour of daylight left,

so I'll look at the leak
in the roof first.

Then get me the number
of this tax guy.

I'll call his office
and ask for an extension.

Then, I'll send a gift basket
to the mail carrier.

Uh, we'll look at your
homework after dinner.

- Oh, good.
- And after that I'll read to you.

- Ahh.
- Oh!

Oh, I won't be home for dinner.
Roy and I are going down to the mall

- to cruise the food court.
- Uh, excuse me,

- isn't it a work night?
- [whining] Oh, but Roy's going.

Well, I'm not Roy's father.
Oh, I see, you're testing me.

[chuckles] Well,
I think you're at an age now

where you're mature enough
to make your own decisions.

Oh, cool! Have some wax lips.

Now, I had a very hard day, but
I handled that without yelling at you.

- Oh, you're swell.
- Heh heh. Yeah, you see?

It is possible to work all day and
handle these domestic problems

without letting it beat you down.

[chuckles]

Hi.

[sighs]

[grunts]

[groaning] Jeez.

- Robbie?
- What?

Ooh. Um, tell me a story.

Life stinks. The end.

- Robbie!
- I've had a lousy day at work.

Look, I'm sorry you've had a rough
day, but we've got problems here.

The baby flushed his caveman doll
down the toilet and now it's backed up.

So?

So, we don't have a working bathroom.

We live in a forest!
There's nothing but bathrooms!

Trees and bushes
as far as the eye can see!

Fine. If you won't fix it,

- we'll have to pay a plumber.
- Oh, no!

You're not spending my hard-earned
money on some overpriced wrench jockey!

Oh, Robbie!

- Yeah? What?
- Oh!

- Heh!
- Uh... Mama!

- [groaning]
- Um, um, um, um, um...

- What?
- Oh! Uh, well,

since you've been helping me
with my homework,

I've got a shot at getting my first B.

- What is it?
- Oh, so, um, I was wondering,

could you help me find the continent
of Pangaea on this map?

- You're grounded for a week.
- For what?

Stupidity!

- Well, you can't ground me for that.
- Are we trying for a month?

Yeah, but... Oh!
Oh, brothers! You are... Oh!

Hey, and shut that door. Do I have to
air condition the whole neighborhood?

- [door slams]
- Um, Robbie?

- What?
- Ooh. Um...

Oops! I dropped Binky.
Get it, please.

OK. [sighs] Jeez.

- Ow!
- Ha ha ha.

- Amateur! [laughing]
- Ow. Oh...

- I want not-the-mama.
- Yeah, yeah, me too.

He promised to mow the lawn.

He's out gallivanting around
while the grass is out there growing!

[Roy] Hey, hurry up there, pally boy!

- [gears grinding]
- [clicking]

Quiet! You're ruining
my concentration.

Huh, here it comes.

- Hey... hey, hey, hey...
- I can three-putt from there.

[man on PA] Earl Sinclair, your son
is here and he looks pretty steamed.

- [groans]
- Eh, busted.

- Oh, jeez, he's always on my case.
- Hey! What does this look like to you?

Am I allowed to help?

- Well?
- Um, I don't know.

It's grass!
And do you know what grass?

The same grass
I told you to mow last night.

The same grass
I told you to mow this morning.

Just like I have to tell you
everything three times!

Well, things are going
to start changing, mister,

because I am fed up!
I have had it!

...I can't take it anymore!

[sobbing] There's bills,
and... and taxes, and...

and the baby, and the toilet went...

Maybe we should let the next
foursome play through.

- [sobbing]
- [sighs]

There, there, son. I know exactly
what you're trying to say.

You have had a rough time
as supreme male,

what with the job
and the household

and responsibilities
way past your years.

[sobbing] And the baby hit me
on the head with a big heavy...

Round thing, yeah.

And you want me to take over again
as head of the household,

SO you can go back to being
the carefree teenager again.

Is that right?

[whimpering] Yes, Daddy.

Well, forget it!

Now, get off my leg.
I'm putting for birdie.

[stammering] But you have to take over.

[laughs] Not a chance.

I'm having the time of my life and
nothing's gonna make me give it up.

[man over PA] Earl Sinclair,
more bad news. Your wife is here.

Oh!

Gee, this really is
a family fun center.

[sobbing] Oh. Oh, Mommy,
tell him to be supreme male again.

Can't make me.

All right, that's enough
from both of you.

He can't handle the household

and it's time you started
acting like an adult again.

Don't wanna.

We're going right down
to the office of male supremacy

and have you reinstated
as head of the house.

Why should I?

Earl, do you mean to tell me

there is nothing you miss
about being an adult?

Um...

Not off the top of my head.

What about Thursday nights?

Our Thursday nights?

Thursday nights
are for adults only, Earl.

[groans]

[whimpers]

[groans] Oh, jeez.

- [grunts] Come on, son, let's go.
- [grunting]

Listen, Dad,
I'm sorry I challenged you.

I thought getting to do everything
I wanted would be great,

but this whole thing
has taught me a valuable lesson.

That with freedom
comes responsibility?

No. That your life bites.
No wonder you yell at me.

I'll just stay out of your way
from now on.

Yeah, thanks. And you know,

I learned something
about your life too.

That it's frustrating being under
someone else's control all the time?

No. That it's way better than mine.

Um, you're not gonna hold that
against me, are you?

Every chance I get.

- Figures.
- 'Cause you see, son,

it's one of my responsibilities
as a parent to wean you from life's joy

and prepare you for the relentless
heartache that is adulthood.

Jeez.

- Gumball?
- Huh?

Oh. Thanks.

Come on.

.