Dinosaurs (1991–1994): Season 2, Episode 15 - Power Erupts - full transcript

Honey, I'm home.

[bell rings]

Whoa! There she is, Caroline Foxworth.

Who could resist beauty like that?

She has it all.

A perfectly smooth complexion,
with just a hint of a nose,

The kind of aqua scales
a guy could get lost in

and a tail that wraps
right around my heart.

I've asked girls out before,

but how do you approach
a reptilian goddess?

[dramatic music]



- [door creaks]
- Huh?

- Ha!
- Ohh!

- Ha!
- Pardon me.

[groans]

[English accent]
The name's Sinclair. Robert Sinclair.

Nah. That bites. She'd see through that.

It's gotta be more real,
more believable.

Yeow!

[+ heavy rock]

[English accent] 'Ello, gorgeous.

Me and the lads are going to trash
the hotel room. Like to come?

[plays solo]

Waaah!

- Ohh... Oh!
- Oh... My goodness.



Are you OK?

- Oh, yeah, I'm fine. I, uh...
- Good.

...dropped my... racket.

[snarls]

Well, it's a start.
I talked to her. She knows who I am.

Everybody knows.
You're a complete idiot.

Hey! It's OK To make mistakes.
It's part of growing up.

Part of growing up a complete idiot.

OK, you're so smart,
what do you say to girls?

How do I know? I'm you.

- [female giggles]
- Huh?

Unfortunately I'm booked up
for Friday and Saturday night,

but, uh, how about the Sunday matinee?

Oh, oh, Spike!

Apparently,
that's what you say to girls.

Yeah, but that's Spike.
He's sleazy, slimy...

- He's booked up for the weekend.
- But I'm much better looking than him.

Hey! No argument here. [laughs]

What am I doing? She's making me crazy!
I'm talking to my locker!

Ohh!
I got to forget about Caroline Foxworth.

Forget about girls. Who needs 'em?

I'll have more time
for studying, friends, family.

- Wussy!
- Huh?

[laughs] Puppets!

[English accent] To which
Lord Burlington replied,

"Madam, that is not my wife.
That is the archbishop!”

[English accent] That would explain
his reluctance to dance with me.

- That and his dreadful taste in hats.
- [both laugh]

Oh dear!

[both laugh]

Hey, Franny, you got to see
this puppet show. It's terrific.

Earl, that's for kids.

Because they're puppets,
it seems to have a children's aesthetic,

yet the dialogue is unquestionably
sharp-edged, witty,

and thematically skewed to adults.

Oh, look.

Here comes our neighbor, Mr. Argyle.

[Scottish accent]
Good day to you, lassie and laddie.

- Where's that athletic son of yours?
- Well he's...

- Hello, Mummy and Daddy.
- He's here.

Look who I brought home for dinner.

[giggling]

Don't bring that pair of hose
into this house!

[gasps]

[laughs]

I'm tellin' you,
this show works on two levels.

They look like puppets.

I'm not watching.

- [Robbie growls]
- [Charlene screams]

Hello, It's good to be home.
How are you?

We're fine, dear. How was your day?

Fine!
It wasn't humiliating or degrading,

and it certainly wasn't
emasculating, OK?

- [Earl] OK!
- [Robbie sighs]

That's not what I heard.

What did you hear?

Robbie wouldn't want me to tell.

- It's embarrassing.
- I understand.

Here's what happened. Robbie's
got the hots for Caroline Foxworth.

She's totally out of his league.
Today he tried to ask her out.

That meant he had to put
a few sentences together.

Of course, that was the end of that. Ha!

- 1 think he may need a father-son talk.
- How come I always have 10 do those?

There are times when a boy
needs a strong male influence.

- Now get in there!
- Whoa!

Yes, dear.

[sighs]

Your mother thinks it's time
we had a father-son talk.

So... if we just sit here quietly
for a few minutes

and move our mouths
we'll be off the hook.

That's fine with me.

[TV] And now back to Love Confession.

So, Sandra,
tell us about your date with Bob.

Chuck, he picked me up at eight
and he wasn't very good-looking.

He tried to kiss me,

- and he was a really bad kisser.
- Huh?

I don't think
he'd been out with a girl before.

He kept telling jokes
that weren't funny at all.

To tell the truth, Chuck,
I felt sorry for him.

Well, Sandra, let's see
how Bob felt about the evening.

- [creaking]
- Oh...

- Maybe we should talk.
- [Earl groans]

Dad, when you were my age, did you
have a lot of experience with girls?

Hey! When it came to sowing wild oats,
I was quite the seamstress.

So, what do girls want anyway?

Ahh, the age-old question.

What do girls want?

Um...

Well, first of all,
you can forget anything we want,

which basically leaves... curtains.

Curtains?

It's inexplicable, but that's what they
want, and they want 'em in every room.

If we have nothing in common with them,

why spend our lives
letting them drive us crazy?

I've often asked that myself.

After all, males are most at home
in the company of other males.

Take Roy for example.
He's my best friend.

We have a lot in common,
but whenever I see him at night,

when the moonlight bathes his
face in a soft, romantic glow...

it sends me running home to your mother.
[laughs]

Yeah. So how did you
approach a female on your first date?

Aah, first one?

Well, I'll have to think back.

Oh, yeah! I remember.

I went up to her and I said,

"Hi, Fran. Want to go out?"

She said yes. Then I proposed,

so I'd never have to go
through that again. [laughs]

I said yes because your father has

what females are most
attracted to in a male...

Sensitivity.

Sensitivity? Huh.

[sighs]

[sighs]

Aw, jeez.

[sobs]

Robbie, are you OK?

It's just something
I heard in science class.

The continents, they're drifting apart,

and I feel that somehow it's my fault.

[sobs] I guess I'm just a little...
sensitive.

Robbie, I've never seen
this side of you before.

- Yeah.
- It's really pathetic.

Huh? [groans]

Hmmm.

Nice technique.
You learn that one from your mommy?

Hey, I'm doin' OK here.
She'll come around. Give her time.

I don't know, kid. You want her
to come around in this lifetime,

you might want to try
something that, uh, works...

- Just for a change of pace.
- You have all the answers?

Oh, I think I know enough to get you...

...oh, like,
how about any girl you want?

Yeah? Like how?

Listen, skippy, I have a busy schedule.

- Time is money.
- What do you want from me?

Money.

You expect me to pay you?

You expect me to talk to you?

That's crazy!
I don't need your help that bad.

Oh, "The continents are drifting apart.”
That's very good.

All right, all right.
Uh... Ten dollars to start OK?

Hmm. All right,
that pays for the last five minutes.

OK, this is a very popular young female,

so you have to move in
on the competition.

Now, have you seen her
talking to any other males?

You mean like boyfriends?

Any other males!

She was talking to Mr. Pullman,
the science teacher.

Kill him.

But couldn't I do
something more romantic?

Ah! Hearts are romantic.

You could tear his out
and give it to her.

I was thinking something
more like an ID bracelet.

Oh, no! This civilization thing
has got you whipped good.

Yeah, but isn't that what girls like?

First of all, platehead,
she's not a girl, she's an animal.

You're an animal, so act like an animal.

So what am I supposed to do,
grunt at her?

- Ah! Breakthrough.
- Yeah.

Hey, there she is again.

Here's your chance, sparky.

What do I do, just growl?

Growl, give her a good sniff.

You're an animal.
Just do what comes natural.

OK.

Yeah.

[spike chuckles] Go on.

[sniffs]

[sniffs]

Robbie! What are you doing?

Uh... [growls]

Oh!

Hey! Hey! Congratulations!

You made a very big impression.

- She hit me!
- You got yourself some tail!

Hmm? Yeah. Maybe I did.

You're on your way, kid.
Good luck. Bye-bye.

Uh... Wait! Wait!
I could use some more advice.

Hmm. What a coincidence.

I could use some more money.

[Robbie] OK. [chuckles]

OK, this is her house, this is her yard,
this is her shrubbery. We're here.

Yeah, all right, so...
So I throw pebbles at the window,

she looks out, then you hide behind the
tree and whisper poems for me to say?

Grow up, scooter.

Did you drink the water
like I told you to?

Yeah. Eight glasses.
I sure could use a bathroom.

That is why we're here, Sinclair.

When a young male
wants to claim a female,

he stakes his claim
by marking her territory.

So... go ahead,

knock yourself out.

Um... OK.

Uh...

OK, OK, OK.

Hey, I can't do this!

Think about what's at stake.

Think about Caroline.

Think about...
putting your hand in some warm water.

Ooh... Ooh... Ooh!

Now what's the matter?

I can't mark territory
when somebody's watching me.

Fine.
So start on the other side of the house.

Oh, OK.

And don't hit your shoes,
or you're walking home alone.

- [Robbie] Gotcha.
- [sirens]

- Attention! This is the police!
- Hey, we got company, Sinclair!

- [car doors closing]
- Shake a leg!

Oh, boy.

Hey! You there! Somebody put
a lot of love in that garden!

- Cut that out!
- [Robbie] I don't think I can.

Hmm? All right!

- Eh?
- [whistle]

- Come out of there!
- Evening, Officer...

The fun's over, boys.
You're under arrest. Come on!

Hey! OK, OK.

George, grab that bush. It's evidence.

Huh? You grab it!

[gasps]

Hey! Excellent work, Sinclair.

Huh?

You got her attention.

Uh...

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Ohh!

[officer] Come on!

But they're just boys, Officer.

That may be, Mrs. Sinclair,

but the commission of a number one
is a very serious offense.

[both] Mm-hm.

Let me handle this.

Uh... Officers,
my wife doesn't understand

the intricacies
of the criminal justice system.

I'm sure there's some sort of
arrangement we could come to...

...just between us,
that's to everyone's mutual benefit.

- Are you trying to bribe us?
- No!

- We think you should.
- [both] Yeah.

Oh. So, what, I just hand you the cash?

Right.

And we hand you these tickets
to a charity event that was never held.

Thank you. I'm sure I had a good time.

Good night. Bye!

- Thank you.
- Bye.

Bye! [chuckles]

Crooks. [grumbles]

[yawning] Boy, what a day.
Good night, everybody.

- [Earl] Sit down!
- Oh.

You will speak only when spoken to.

I have things to say to
you and your hoodlum friend.

- Do we have to listen to this?
- Hey!

Don't stop him. This is great.

The mommy-daddy ritual,
reading the riot act,

putting your parental foot down.
It's a beautiful thing.

Do your stuff.

This is how you spend your evening?
Breaking the law?

- Making a nuisance of yourself?
- [Spike] Excuse me.

I gotta stop you there, Mr. Sinclair.

Tonight's exploits were,
in fact, not young Robert's fault.

- Oh?
- He's the victim of peer pressure.

He's fallen in with a bad influence.

Mm-hm. Mm-hm.

I filled his head
with a lot of questionable ideas.

[chuckles]
Can I get anybody anything?

- Abrewski, Mr. Sinclair?
- Oh, thank you.

Earl! The police just
brought your son home.

Let the male of the household
handle this one.

You go upstairs.

Things could get rough in here
when I lay into these boys.

- Yeah. Yeah.
- [Fran sighs]

Right.

- Hey, you want a glass with this?
- Oh, appreciate it.

- Uh, now! Uh... Uh...
- [beer pouring]

Where was 1?

You were pointing
the fatherly finger of blame.

And even though
young Robbie was caught

with his pants down, so to speak,

he was merely pursuing
the female of the species.

And I'm sure even you, as a youth,

fell prey to a well-turned tail.

Am I right?

[chuckles] Well, I may have played
love's fool once or twice. [laughs]

Ow! Oof!

That's what happened to me!

Caroline Foxworth's on my mind
all the time. I can't think straight.

It's the ladies, Mr. Sinclair.
We males are just the victims.

They weave their spells.
They confuse our minds.

They break our hearts,

and who ends up
in trouble with the police?

[gasps] We do!

Oh, you're right!

- Yes.
- Yes.

Upsy-daisy there, sir.

Uh... Glad to be of help.

- [Robbie laughs]
- Thank you.

I see it all now.

It's all so clear.

Is everything straightened out now?

- You bet it is. It was you!
- Me?

You foul temptress, weaver of spells!

What?

Don't try to cloud my mind.

These boys are mere victims
of the treachery of you females.

Where's Spike?

He's right...

Did you let Spike walk out of this room?

Well, I...

Did you lose control
of the entire situation?

Lose control?
I'm the mighty megalosaurus!

- [Fran growls]
- Yes, dear.

- Robbie, go to your room.
- But Dad said...

I don't care! You're grounded.

Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am.

- Grouch!
- Franny?

[gasps]

I'm sure Robbie didn't notice,

but it's embarrassing when you
undercut my authority like that.

[growls]

You're making that noise again,
sweetheart,

just like the last time you were right
and I was really, really wrong.

- [growls]
- [gasps]

I'm on the couch again tonight,
aren't [?

[growls]

I can't believe... [mutters]

Night-night.

- [door slams]
- Doh!

Ahh, jeez!

- Open up.
- I don't like that.

What? [sighs]

- 1 don't like that.
- [Robbie groans]

I don't like that.

Eat this!

- OK. Ahh.
- Ahh.

All right, now look. Be a good baby
brother and fall asleep or something.

- How come you're the baby-sitter?
- Because I got grounded.

- I'm your punishment?
- Yep.

I like that.

I'm happy you're happy.

Why did you get grounded?

Because of this girl Caroline.

- She nice?
- Yeah, she's pretty hot.

- Hot! Don't touch!
- No.

The kinda hot you want to touch.

- Il don't get it.
- Neither do ll.

- I'm ho-ome!
- Who ca-ares?

Uh, can I get you something?
Juice? Milk?

Eight glasses of water?

Eat tar and die.

Be nice, or I won't tell you
who I saw at the mall.

Who cares?

Not interested in Caroline Foxworth?

She's hot! Wanna touch!

- Spike thought so. He was all over her.
- What?

I upset you? What was I thinking?
Oh, now I remember.

Spike and Caroline
talking together at the same table.

- I'm sure it was innocent.
- That back-stabbing lizard!

He was taking advantage
of the situation!

Don't be ridiculous.
It's not his fault you're grounded.

- Oh, wait. It is.
- I can't believe this!

Shame you got to sit here
all night long worrying about it.

Good night!

[growls]

I don't get it.

I heard you got thrown out of your old
school because you ate the principal.

I have a little problem with authority.

Hey! You got a bigger problem than that.

You talking to me, squirt?

I don't see any other back-stabbing,

bottom-feeding,
scum-sucking maggot here.

Oh! Such language.

You kiss your mommy with that mouth?

Oh! You're good.

You got me grounded,
then you moved right in.

Pardon me a minute, my lovely.

The boy needs
a little adult supervision.

- [Robbie growls]
- Don't you need to get home

and rotate the tires on your scooter,
scooter?

Oh, yeah? Rotate this!

[grunting]

[yells]

All right. How's this for primitive?

Impressive. Toss me on the floor
and kick me in the ribs.

- What?
- You wanted the girl,

I'm getting you the girl. Now come on.

Show her you're an animal. Kick me.

Uh...

Take that! And this!

- And that!
- Jeez!

- And that!
- Nice.

- I think you've had enough.
- Agreed.

Stay away from my female from now on!

You got it.

- Ha!
- Thanks.

- Sorry you had to see that.
- So am I.

That was unbelievably immature.

- What?
- What?

You acted like a couple of wild animals.

It was disgusting.

Girls like that. You're supposed
to want to go out with me now.

If you want to go out with me,

why do this all this phony,
macho posturing?

Why don't you just ask me out?

Well, do you want to go out?

No.

Huh?

[sighs] She blew me off.

Well, situations like this happen,
scooter.

No one's to blame... certainly not me.

I want my money back.

A fine display of male aggressiveness
like that, and she walks away.

I tell you, Sinclair,
civilization is killing romance.

Hey, buddy, I want my money back.

Look, we both know
that's not going to happen.

But for your investment so far,

I'm prepared to offer you the following.

- Huh?
- You get to hang out with me.

Why would I want to? You didn't deliver.
You didn't get me the girl.

Hey, look, scooter,
I always get the girl. I never miss.

You're trouble for me.
You're bringing my average down.

What you think we ought
to do about that? Huh?

- You never miss?
- Nope.

- Not once?
- Ask around.

Maybe I just need
to hang around with you more.

Could be.

I don't have any more money.

- Got any food in your house?
- Yeah.

Well, we'll talk.

- Oh, Spike. Where you going?
- I was going to your house.

- What food you got?
- All kinds.

- Got girls there?
- No.

- You're supposed to find me girls.
- Oh, yeah. That's what I do.