Dinosaurs (1991–1994): Season 2, Episode 12 - Refrigerator Day - full transcript

Honey, I'm home.

- Open up.
- Mm-mmm.

- Come on.
- Mm-mmm.

I know your mouth hurts.

It's 'cause your teeth are coming in.
Mine are going out.

It's the cycle of life,
a beautiful thing.

Now eat this or I'll kill you.

Ahh...

Now, was that so bad?

[screams]

Hi, Mom. Does his mouth still hurt?



He's working through it,
but we're running out of spoons.

Aw, I know it hurts
when you're teething,

but Mommy brought you some Numbgum
to make it all better. Open your mouth.

[whimpers, moans]

[moaning softens]

Ooh!

Thanks.

Mama make me all better.

Mommy meek moe me muh...

Meep...

[laughs]

It makes his whole mouth numb.

Oh, isn't that precious?

He's drooling, just like his father.



I don't know. Maybe Earl and I
shouldn't go out to dinner tonight.

You go out. Have a wonderful time.

Who knows?
Maybe you'll meet somebody.

I'm going out with Earl.

Doesn't mean you have
to come back with him.

[Baby jabbers, laughs]

[coughs]

Hello, honey.

[smooch]

- Hi, Daddy.
- Oh, hi, Charlene!

- Can I have ten dollars?
- No! Absolutely not.

What do you want it for?

Um... college?

OK, not college,
but it's education-related.

I need to accessorize my gym outfit.

It just doesn't say "me" yet.

Charlene, this thing is a dollar.

Do you have any idea
what the value of a dollar is?

A dollar?

OK. Technically, you're right,

but it's more complicated
when you have to earn that dollar.

I remember the first dollar
I ever earned. What a week.

- Dad, can I have ten dollars?
- Certainly, Son. Here you go.

- Hey!
- Problem, Sis?

Yeah! How come you get money
and I don't?

'Cause I earned it.
I cut the grass, took out the trash,

I listened to Dad
talk about the old days.

And your brother is older than you.

He knows the value of money
and how to spend it wisely.

Go on, Son. Tell your sister the
responsible plans

you have for this money.

Me and Spike are going to hang out
at Goofy Golf

and try to pick up girls. [chuckles]

- Godspeed, Son.
- Thanks.

- This is so unfair!
- Ha ha! Kids.

- [Baby jibbers]
- Oh!

Honey, your mouth feel good?

Feeb me now! Fleed my face!

[laughs]
Grandma will give you dinner later.

Mommy and Daddy are going out.

Franny, tell me honestly...
if some guy, out of the blue,

calls up somebody my age
and asks her out, should she go?

- Of course, Mom.
- See ya.

Don't you roll away from me.
You're baby-sitting tonight.

Mama blaybee. Mama blub me!

Franny... when was the last time

I spent an evening alone
with a consenting male?

- I can't remember.
- Neither can I. Good night.

Uh...

M-Mom?

I can do it. Oh, let me do it.

Let me do it! I'm responsible.

Some family members
think I'm not responsible,

but I am. Pay me and I'll show you.

I appreciate your enthusiasm,
but Robbie's older.

He'll stay with the baby.

Why does he always
get to be the older one? [tuts]

Oh, Daddy!

Daddy, Grandma can't baby-sit tonight.

Let me.
This way I could earn some money.

You in charge of a baby?
That's a good idea.

Why don't we just hand
him over to scavengers?

- Ugh. Daddy!
- This is an infant, Charlene.

He's vulnerable. He's helpless!

Look at him. Such a sweet little thing.

[Fran gasps]
Don't pinch his cheek!

Mmnn... nyaaahh!

- [Earl] Whoa...
- [sound of airplane taking off]

- [yelps]
- [Fran] Oh!

[shouts incoherently]

I think the Numbgum wore off.

What was your first clue, Fran?

Gaah!

Dad, please don't make me baby-sit.
It's so humiliating.

How am I gonna hold my head up
at Goofy Golf?

Robbie, you're getting two bucks
an hour. Quit your griping!

Come on, Fran.

All right, dear.

We're late for our romantic evening.
Get the lead out!

All right, all right.
Just one last squirt before we go.

[sighs]

Gaba gooba mugga lugga, Mama!

Aw... l love you, too.

[laughs]

Robbie, we won't be late.

I wrote down the number
of the restaurant.

- Don't you dare call!
- Yes, Dad.

- We'll be back at 11.
- Will you come on?

You know where the first-aid kit is, and
don't let any predators into the house.

Out, out, out!
The boy is completely capable.

I have the utmost confidence in him.
He would never betray our trust.

Bye!

OK, here's the deal...

I'm cutting out. You watch the kid.

What?

If they think I'm baby-sitting
on a Friday night, they're crazy.

Who gets the cash?

I do. I'm taking a big risk
leaving you in charge here,

but I'm looking out for you.
You get all the glory.

What glory?

I'll tell Mom and Dad
I got real sick and you took over.

You were responsible all over the place.

Bang! Your baby-sitting career is up
and running. You're a star.

- Then I want half the cash.
- You are vicious.

[Robbie] How do you live with yourself?

Is that the sound
of ladies' night at Goofy Golf?

"Oh, Robbie,
we're holding our clubs wrong."

"We're cute. Please come and help us!"

All right, all right, half.
But please don't screw this up.

OK.

Yes! Ha-ha!

OK, Junior, it's just you and me.

Hmm...
don't play games with me.

- Ow! Ow! Hey...
- [Baby laughs]

[laughs]

Made you look!

You come down here this instant.

OK!

Whee!

Oh! Hmm...

Again!

Well, aren't you
the cutest little thing?

[laughs]

"Then Goldilocks
took a bite the second one,

but its flesh was too soft.”

"Then she took a bite
of the itsy-bitsy baby one,

and its flesh was just right,

so she ate him all up.”
Chomp, chomp, chomp.

Now, isn't this fun?

- Let me go!
- [telephone]

Oh, don't get up. I'll get it.

JILalalalalalt

- [ringing]
- [wails]

Hello? Oh, hi, Mindy.
No, I'm not too busy.

- [gasps] You're kidding!
- [screams]

Ooh, I want to hear every detail!

[gasps] He did?

[noisy chewing]

[food yelps]

Franny, what is wrong?
Aren't you hungry?

Your appetizer is getting cold.

[shivers]

I was just thinking
about Mom not being there

and the kids all by themselves.

No, no kids. This is supposed
to be an evening of love.

Can't we just pretend they're dead?
Please?

I'll make one quick phone call.

Then I'm all yours, big boy.

Females... they can't help worrying.

Yeah... I'm kind of worried myself.

So Brad goes, "No way,"

and I'm like "Yes way"
and Cindy goes, "Brad's right."

1 go, "Cindy, I don't remember
asking you,"

then she throws me this attitude;
"Oh, you've hurt my feelings."

[Baby screams, thudding]

Oh, that? That's nothing.
Just my stupid baby brother.

You know... "Feed me",
"Change me", "Untie me."

Anyway, I'm in the hall talking
to Cindy and Brad.

I really want Cindy to disappear,

but she stands around forever.

- Aah... Ow!
- [Charlene chatters]

Forgot, can't walk.

Hello, little fellow.

Huh? Who's that?

A friend. In the refrigerator.

[gasps]

I've got lots of surprises for you.

That's it. What a clever little fellow!

Now open the door so we can play.

Uh-uh!

Please?

- Uh-uh!
- Open it!

Mama said don't talk to fridge.

- I'll give you a present.
- OK.

Excellent!

Whoa!

- [gleeful laughter]
- Cowabunga!

[laughs]

[nearby chatter and laughter]

So Cindy was wrong again.
She's, like, a total liar.

[blows on toenail]

I don't know why Brad likes her.

- [chattering]
- Ugh!

It's my adorable little brother again.
This won't take long.

Hold on.

OK, you little pink pest,

how many times have I gotta...

Where... What did you...
Oh! Oh!

Like I need this now!

Ugh! I'm not cleaning this up!

Ugh! Kids.

I wish I were an only child.

Ugh!

Mindy, I gotta go.
I gotta go kill my baby brother.

- [maniacal laughter]
- Huh?

- [cackling]
- [circuits fizz]

Huh?

[voice on phone] Mindy hung up,
but we're here, Charlene!

[laughter]

[banging, laughter]

- Wha...?
- [loud ticking]

What's that?

- [telephone rings]
- Aah!

Uh... hello?

Charlene, is everything OK?
The line was busy.

Oh, Mom. Uh, yeah.
Robbie's baby-sitting... and I'm not,

and, uh, everything's fine.
[laughs unconvincingly]

What's that noise?
Do you have friends over?

No! Uh, it's just the TV.

So, you guys coming home soon?

Not for a while.
How's your little brother?

- Um... fine.
- [muffled shouts]

Well, as long as everything's OK.

We'll see you soon. Bye, honey.

Yeah, bye, Mom.

Uh, Mom? Um, love you.

- Oh!
- Oh, Charlene...

so good of you to come to our little...

party.

- Oh!
- [cackling]

[maniacal laughter]

So, Charlene, we meet again.

- We do?
- Don't play the fool with me!

In the crisper section,
they call me Chow.

Chow the Merciless!

But you know me as Chow the Delicious.

That was your hand?

Oh! You're from the refrigerator,
am I right?

How astute. I trust my cabbage
needs no introduction.

Um, uh... no. 'Course not!

We are the survivors of your family's
incessant eating!

I'm trying to cut down.

Do you know what it's like in there?

I spent four months in the cheese bin

crouched behind a wedge of Gouda,

never knowing when the refrigerator
light would come on.

[others] The light! The light!

You're spoiled.

You've gone rotten!

Silence!

We have your baby brother.

[gasps] What?

Unless you do what we say,

you'll never see him again.

- What do you think of that?
- You're just food.

I eat guys like you for lunch.

- [gasping]
- Do not toy with me, Charlene!

We are desperate and ruthless

and know not the meaning of fear!

- [door opens]
- [all scream]

Out the light!

[prays]

- Boo.
- Aah! R-Robbie?

- Duh! How's the kid?
- The food! The food got him!

He got out of the refrigerator.
There was this big noise,

then the lights went out,

and the phone went off
and then the food was laughing at me...

and Chow and the pet cabbage...
and they took the baby!

Oh, how could you do this to me?
Mom and Dad left me in charge!

Think this means we won't get paid?

Paid? We're gonna get killed!

Mom and Dad really like the baby.

- It's not my fault!
- Oh! Oh, it's my fault?

You left me in charge!
What were you thinking?

I was thinking maybe
I could leave the house for an hour

and not come back to find the baby
kidnapped by crazed leftovers!

OK, we gotta find him.
OK, let's split up and search.

All right.

Whoever finds him
gets all the baby-sitting money.

- Deal!
- All right.

[Chow] Wait!

- Go! Go!
- [muffled shouts from Baby]

I got to find you.
Are...are you there?

Up there?

[Chow] Three, two, one!

Timber!

- [crash]
- [all laugh]

[high-pitched]
Robbie, it's me, Charlene!

[laughs]

Help me!

Charlene, are you OK?

Huh? Ah! [yells]

[laughter]

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Easy!

The kids are fine.

If not, we'll make more.

Oh, you're right, Earl.
I know you're right.

It's just my female intuition.

Franny, please,
could you just, for one evening,

forget you're a female
so I can get romantic with you?

Ohh...

Why, after dinner, I was even thinking
that we could...

b... b-buh... blub...

Vor thum theen.

- [Earl jibbers]
- Earl, you animal!

Mmm...

There's thumthing Wong
mith my mouth.

Numbgthum?

Is monsieur ready to order?

Flease, will you call me a thoctor?

Oh, yes. ltis... [kiss]
excellent tonight!

Thenk thoo, thenk thoo.

Well, this is a pretty picture,
isn't it, Cabby?

How do they look to you?
Delicious?

- Gm
- Oh, Cabby's mad.

[Cabby growls]

Down, Cabby! Down! Down!

Not yet.

- So, Charlene...
- Now what?

How does it feel to be
on the other side of the fork?

- Ow!
- You'll never get away with this,

- you rancid, half-eaten...
- Silence!

If you wish to see your baby brother
alive again,

you must satisfy
the following demands...

[whispering]

First, we want jogging outfits.

- No cheap knock-offs.
- Designer names.

Second, a comprehensive dental plan.

No deductible,
we wanna pick our own doctors.

Yes!

Third, we want 40 million helicopters
and a dollar.

- [both] Huh?
- [Chow] What?

- [whispers]
- Mm-hmm. Oh.

Oh, thank you. I stand corrected...

40 million dollars and a helicopter.

It says that the effects should
wear off in about an hour or so.

I wanted thith to be suth
a thpecial eveeng for uth!

I know, dear. Let's just get the check
and go home.

I can't stop worrying about the kids,
anyway.

Hey!

Monsieur, your canapés
call-me-the-docteur!

Ooh!

[appetizer] Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.

Pluuh...

thith ith no fun.

And lastly, we want our own
Saturday morning cartoon show.

With full creative control.

So, those are our demands.
Will you meet them?

OK, we'll meet 'em.

What?

You will? Hmm, that was easy.

And you said they could not
be reasoned with, Cabby.

But we're not bringing any of it
until you bring us the baby!

Ah! The negotiation has begun. Good!

This is the part I love...

the give, the take,
the quid pro quo. Yes!

So, you have made
your opening gambit,

and it was, uh...

- What?
- The baby.

Ah, yes, the baby!
Very, very shrewd.

Fine. Done. Good.
Bring the brat to me!

What are you doing?
We don't have any of that stuff!

- Trust me.
- Oh, trust you?

Like I trusted you to baby-sit?

Look, I got us into this.
I'll get us out of it.

- Oh, yeah, right.
- [Baby laughs]

All right, then,
stop this clandestine chatter!

- Junior! Oh, are you OK?
- Playing with food!

As you see, we have fulfilled
our side of the bargain.

Now you have 30 seconds
to fulfill your side,

or else I will feed you to Cabby!

Now, Charlene! Run for it!

Aah! Cabby!

[Chow wails]

Cabby!

You killed my Cabby!

Our negotiations are off!

Prepare the kitchen.

Tonight we feast...

on them.

[smacks lips]

How does it feel
now that the buffet tables are turned?

Charlene, I'd be willing to listen
to any suggestions you have.

General Chow,
I think you should eat the baby first.

- [Robbie] What?
- Huh? Hmm...

That's your suggestion?

Well, look at him.
He's so plump and tender.

Just feel those juicy little cheeks.

Mmm, they do look rather tempting.

Go ahead.
Give them a really good, hard pinch.

Oh!

OK.

Warning!

Mmff! Ow!

Aah!!

Keep him away from me!

No! No! No!

You are a much more cunning opponent
than I imagined, Charlene.

Thank you.

No wonder your parents
trust you to guard their home.

Unfortunately, I could not anticipate
your secret weapon.

- [sinister laugh]
- Keep him back!

Tried to warn you.

I'm sorry about your friend
the, uh, lettuce.

He was no lettuce.

He was a cabbage.

We shall not soon
see his like again. [sniffs]

Oh.

[blows nose]

Thank you, Cupcake.

All right, men...

back to the fridge.

Come on.

Do not think you have seen
the last of me.

Old food never dies...

it just goes bad.

OK. Now Mom and Dad
are gonna be home any minute.

I don't wanna hear a word
out of you about any of this!

- Pay me!
- No!

Deal.

- [sighs]
- [door opens]

- Huh?
- Female intuition... ha!

Everything looks just fine
to my non-intuitive male eyes.

It's the Mama!

There, there.
How is Mommy's little angel?

- Are you hungry?
- No more food!

Son, here is your
well-earned baby-sitting money,

my responsible eldest child.

- Oh, uh, thanks, Dad.
- Uh, gee, Rob, look...

Two fives. That could be one for you
and one for your sister,

who basically pulled your butt
out of the fire.

- Yeah.
- Somebody want to explain what went on?

I wasn't feeling too good,
and Charlene kind of took over,

and did all the baby-sitting,
and handled it real well,

and you should trust her from now on.

Maybe you are ready
for more responsibility.

She's growing up, isn't she, Earl?

Gee, I guess my little girl has matured.

This is a genuine family milestone.

- Yeah.
- I'm going to bed.

- But, Dad...
- [Robbie laughs]

So, Robbie, are you still feeling sick?

Uh, well, no, Mom. I...

He just had some food
that didn't agree with him.

Uh, that's it. Yeah!

[laughs]

[Robbie and Baby Sinclair laugh]