Diners, Drive-ins and Dives (2006–…): Season 2, Episode 6 - Real Deal BBQ - full transcript
Guy hits BBQ joints in Los Angeles, Chicago and Kansas City, Missouri.
HI, I'M GUY FIERI,
AND WE'RE ROLLIN' OUT,
HEADED FOR AMERICA'S GREATEST
DINERS, DRIVE-INS AND DIVES.
THIS TRIP--SEASIDE EATS--
A 39-YEAR-OLD
RHODE ISLAND JOINT
THAT'S A NEW ENGLAND LEGEND
FOR CLAMS...
THAT'S LIKE A MONSTER
CLAM PLATE.
I'M GONNA
EAT IT ALL.
CHOWDER...
IT'S SO GOOD.
AND GET A LOAD OF THIS.
THAT'S THE LOBSTER
CHOW MEIN.
DUDE, THIS IS FUNKY,
BUT GOOD.
WE'RE HEADING
TO SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA,
WHERE SURFERS ARE BUILDING
BURGERS AS BIG AS THE BEACH...
NO FANCY FRILLS...
WHAT YOU SEE
IS WHAT YOU GET.
JUST OLD-FASHIONED SLOPPY
RUN-DOWN-YOUR-ARM HAMBURGERS.
DO IT RIGHT.
AND DOWN TO FLORIDA
TO A BEACHSIDE STRIP MALL...
THEY HAVE A UNIQUE MENU.
WHERE A CHEF FROM SPAIN
WILL COOK UP ANYTHING.
THE FLAVOR
IS REALLY GOOD.
HEY, YOU GUYS SHOWED UP JUST IN
TIME. I GOT A COUPLE COOL ONES.
THAT'S ALL RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW
ON "DINERS, DRIVE-INS
AND DIVES."
Closed Captions provided
by Scripps Networks, LLC.
Captioned by
Closed Captioning Services, Inc.
I'M HERE IN TIVERTON,
RHODE ISLAND,
ON THE NANNAQUAKET POND
THAT CONNECTS
TO THE SAKONNET RIVER.
NOW THAT'S A MOUTHFUL,
BUT THAT'S EXACTLY
WHAT YOU'RE GONNA GET--
A MOUTHFUL--AT THIS JOINT--
EVELYN'S DRIVE-IN,
WHERE THEY FEATURE
FRESH LOCAL SEAFOOD,
EITHER FRIED OR GRILLED,
AND SOME GREAT LOCAL FAVORITES.
CAN I GET FOUR CLAM CAKES?
IT'S FRESH.
THAT'S FANTASTIC.
I LOVE THIS PLACE
BECAUSE THEY SERVE TRADITIONAL
NEW ENGLAND SEAFOOD.
...LIKE CLAM CAKES.
WHAT ARE YOU
SO HAPPY ABOUT?
JUST LOVIN' LIFE
AND MY CLAM CAKE.
AND YOU CLAM CAKE.
AND FRESH, LOCAL
WHOLE BELLY FRIED CLAMS...
THE BEST--THE MEAT
IN THAT IS BIG BELLY.
AND CHOWDER.
THIS IS HOW I WOULD
MAKE MY CHOWDER--
EVERYTHING RIGHT FROM THE OCEAN.
YOU WANT TO MAKE
A SEAFOOD PLATTER?
JANE AND DOMENIC BITTO
BOUGHT EVELYN'S 21 YEARS AGO.
WE JUST KIND OF TRIPPED AND FELL
UPON EVELYN'S DRIVE-IN.
I ACTUALLY GOT LOST
GOING TO ANOTHER PLACE.
AND YOU WERE
LOOKING TO BUY?
YEAH. SO THEN WE STOPPED
HERE FOR LUNCH,
AND THAT'S HOW--
AND IT WAS FOR SALE
FROM THE ORIGINAL
EVELYN.
AND THEY'VE BEEN DOING THINGS
EVELYN'S WAY EVER SINCE.
NUMBER 720, YOUR FOOD IS READY.
IN THE WORLD OF SEAFOOD,
HOW DO THESE FOLKS RATE?
TOP SHELF.
I'M HERE EVERY WEEK,
BUT I USUALLY
EAT THE FRIED CLAMS.
FRIED CLAMS IS WHAT
WE'RE FAMOUS FOR.
...STILL DONE EVELYN'S WAY.
IT'S A DRY BATTER.
NO DIPPING IN MILK
AND JUST ENOUGH BATTER
TO GET THE JOB DONE.
WE TRY TO GET MOST
OF THE BATTER OFF,
WHICH A LOT OF PLACES
WON'T COOK IT THAT WAY.
AND WE FRY IT SO IT COMES OUT
WITH A NICE THIN CRUST
INSTEAD OF, LIKE,
THAT THICK CRUST
THAT YOU'RE NORMALLY USED TO.
SO WHAT YOU'RE GETTING
IS ALL SEAFOOD.
THAT'S LIKE A MONSTER
CLAM PLATE.
I'M GONNA EAT
IT ALL.
I'VE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO
THIS ALL SUMMER. I REALLY HAVE.
I HAVEN'T HAD A FRIED CLAM YET,
AND THIS IS, LIKE, THE MOST
IMPORTANT PART OF SUMMER.
HOW ABOUT CHOWDER?
OH, YEAH, CHOWDER'S PROBABLY
ONE OF OUR HUGEST ITEMS HERE.
IT'S A RHODE ISLAND
CHOWDER.
WHAT'S RHODE ISLAND
CHOWDER?
IT'S CALLED
A CLEAR CHOWDER,
SO THERE'S NO CREAM
ADDED TO IT
TILL THE WAITRESS
IS SERVING IT,
AND THEN THE CREAM
IS ADDED.
THIS IS ACTUALLY EVELYN'S
ORIGINAL RECIPE.
THAT'S EVELYN'S
ORIGINAL POT.
IT IS.
AND WE JUST
ADD MARGARINE.
AND NOW WE THROW IN
SOME CLAM BASE?
YEP. AND THIS IS HOW EVELYN'S
PUTS THEIR BAY LEAVES
IN THE CHOWDER,
'CAUSE WE DON'T WANT ANYBODY
TO CHOKE ON A BAY LEAF.
SO THAT GOES IN THERE. A LITTLE
BIT OF ONION, NOT TOO MUCH.
THEN YOU ADD YOUR
2 GALLONS OF CLAMS.
HOLY CLAM, BATMAN.
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
SO RAW POTATOES--
RUSSETS
THAT ARE PEELED.
SO THIS'LL TAKE ABOUT
ANOTHER HALF AN HOUR
TO COME UP?
HALF AN HOUR,
40 MINUTES, YEP.
IT'S SO GOOD. IT TASTES
A LOT LIKE THE CREAMY KIND,
BUT IT'S, UM, IT'S LIGHTER.
BUT THIS RHODE ISLAND
BROTH CHOWDER EXPERIENCE
WOULDN'T BE COMPLETE
WITHOUT A LITTLE NUGGET
CALLED A CLAM CAKE.
WHEN YOU
START EATING THEM
AND THEN YOU COME BACK
AND YOU HAVE ANOTHER ONE,
YOU DIP IT IN YOUR CHOWDER,
THEN YOU GET ADDICTED TO IT.
IS THERE A SUPPORT GROUP,
A NUMBER I CAN CALL?
SO WE JUST MIX IT UP.
WE USE A LITTLE WARM WATER.
DO YOU MEASURE IT,
OR DO YOU JUST EYEBALL IT?
YEAH, WE DO EVERYTHING
BY CONSISTENCY.
NOW THIS LOOKS LIKE A FULL-TIME
JOB HERE AT EVELYN'S.
MAKING 20 OR 25 BUCKETS A DAY
IS PRETTY FULL TIME, YEAH.
SO YOU JUST SIT HERE
THE WHOLE TIME AND DO THIS?
YEAH.
AND THEN THEY YELL.
YEAH.
CAN I GET FOUR?
I HAVE TO BAG FOUR
AND GO GIVE IT TO THEM.
YOU COULD EAT 'EM PLAIN...
TAKE A BITE
OF THE CLAM.
ARE YOU GONNA
PUT IT IN THERE?
YOU'RE TEASING ME WITH IT.
I FEEL LIKE A DOG.
OH, THAT'S GONNA BE
HOW IT'S GONNA BE.
SALTY DOUGHNUT.
OR WITH VINEGAR.
IT MOISTENS IT UP A LITTLE BIT
AND MAKES IT REALLY TART.
BUT THE REAL DEAL
IS WITH CHOWDER.
THAT'S A CROUTON, BABY.
- THAT'S A CROUTON.
- EXACTLY.
AND I'VE NEVER
HAD IT THIS THIN,
BUT I GOTTA TELL YA,
THIS IS ALMOST DELICATE.
AND THE CLAMS
ARE TENDER. WOW.
SO THIS IS WHAT
IT'S ALL ABOUT, HUH?
THIS IS KILLER.
HI.
HI.
SO IS THE WHOLE
EXPERIENCE HERE--
AS TRADITIONAL AS SEASIDE
EATS GET IN NEW ENGLAND...
IT MAKES THE SUMMERS
IN RHODE ISLAND SUPER SPECIAL.
BUT WITH ONE MORE TRADITION
THAT'S TOTALLY OUT OF BOUNDS.
LOBSTER CHOW MEIN.
YOU HEARD HIM--
LOBSTER CHOW MEIN.
IT'S UNIQUE.
THAT'S FOR SURE.
IT WAS EVELYN'S
RECIPE.
YEAH.
SO WE THOUGHT IT WAS JOKE
WHEN WE BOUGHT THE PLACE,
BUT IT'S HOMEMADE.
WE MAKE IT EVERY DAY.
...WITH FRESH VEGETABLES,
CHICKEN BROTH
AND, OH, YEAH, THE SAME SPECIAL
INGREDIENT EVELYN USED.
HOO-MEE GRAVY MIX.
HOO-MEE GRAVY MIX.
CHOW MEIN GRAVY--
I HAVE SEEN IT ALL.
I'M IN RHODE ISLAND.
I'M ON THE WATER.
WE'RE MAKING CLAM THINGS, AND
THEN YOU BREAK THIS OUT ON ME.
THIS IS BANANAS.
BUT BANANAS IS GOOD.
NOW WE SLOWLY
STIR THAT IN.
AND WE HAVE
THE LOBSTER.
LOOK AT THAT.
THAT'S THE LOBSTER
CHOW MEIN.
THIS, MY FRIEND,
IS GONNA GO UP THERE
IN SOME OF THE ODDEST THINGS
I'VE EVER EATEN.
DUDE, THIS IS FUNKY,
BUT GOOD.
THIS IS THE END
OF THE SPECTRUM, MAYBE.
IT'S ADDICTING.
GOOD.
YOU DON'T JUST
WANT ONE BITE.
YOUR MIND,
YOUR BODY--
MY MOUTH'S GOING, LIKE,
"WHAT ARE YOU HAVING?"
THERE'S NO REASON THAT
I SHOULD BE ENJOYING IT.
OH, I KNOW. I KNOW.
BUT AS WRONG AS IT IS,
IT'S RIGHT.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
IT'S EXCELLENT.
IT IS DELICIOUS.
IT IS, ISN'T IT?
IT'S ONE MORE PART OF THE WHOLE
SEASIDE-EATS TRADITION
THAT FOLKS AROUND HERE
CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF.
IT'S PART OF RHODE ISLAND.
IT'S THINGS YOU CAN'T
GET ANYWHERE ELSE.
GREAT FOOD...
IT'S REALLY DELICIOUS.
GREAT PLACE... AND JANE
AND DOMENIC STILL FEELING LUCKY
THAT WHEN IT'S TIME TO GO
TO WORK, THEY END UP HERE.
WELL, WE OFTEN SIT THERE
IN THE MORNING FOR COFFEE
AND TALK ABOUT STUFF
INSTEAD OF INSIDE.
WE LOVE IT.
YOU REALLY LOOK
STRESSED OUT.
WE DO?
YEAH, RIGHT.
NEXT UP, WE'RE HEADING
TO A BEACH NEAR SAN DIEGO,
WHERE A SURFER'S
BANGING OUT BURGERS...
IT'S MESSY, AND IT'S DELICIOUS.
YOU CAN'T HELP BUT WEAR.
DON'T LET THAT BURGER
INTIMIDATE YOU.
WELL, IT'S NOT
INTIMIDATING.
I'M JUST TRYING TO FIGURE OUT
AM I WORRIED
ABOUT THE REST OF MY WARDROBE
FOR THE REST OF THE DAY?
OCEAN BEACH, CALIFORNIA,
IS HOME TO GREAT SURF,
A LOT OF REALLY COOL
LAID-BACK PEOPLE
AND A LITTLE PLACE
CALLED HODAD'S,
IN MY OPINION, WHAT A LOCAL
BURGER JOINT OUGHTA BE--
NO SHOES, NO SHIRT, NO PROBLEM.
RIGHT HERE, BUDDY.
WHERE TO, JAMIE?
IT'S DELICIOUS.
NOW THIS
IS A FANCY RESTAURANT.
LADIES ALWAYS GO FIRST
IN A FANCY RESTAURANT.
THEY'RE VERY FRIENDLY.
WHAT DOES HODAD
MEAN ANYWAYS?
HODAD--
OKAY, IT'S A SURFING TERM
FROM THE EARLY '60s.
IT'S SOMEONE THAT HANGS OUT ON
THE BEACH, HAS GOT A NICE BOARD.
YOU ALWAYS SEE 'EM,
YOU KNOW, AT THE BEACH,
BUT THEY DON'T KNOW
HOW TO SURF.
WHEN MIKE HARDIN
WASN'T SURFING,
HE GREW UP AT HODAD'S.
COME ON. THERE YOU GO.
THERE YOU GO.
HIS PARENTS STARTED
RUNNING IT IN '73.
HE TOOK OVER IN '84
AND GAVE THE PLACE
HIS OWN SENSE OF STYLE.
WOULD YOU BELIEVE I TOOK NO
LESSONS IN INTERIOR DECORATING?
YOU KNOW, IT WOULDN'T
SHOW AT ALL.
PEPSI.
AND LAID-BACK
SURFER ATTITUDE ASIDE...
LIKE I CAN REMEMBER ALL THAT.
THIS GUY'S CRANKIN' OUT SOME
RIGHTEOUS BEACHSIDE BURGERS.
BEST BURGER
IN THIS AREA?
BEST BURGER,
FOR SURE.
HANDS DOWN?
HANDS DOWN.
YEAH.
IT'S GOOD. IT'S REAL GOOD.
- NO FANCY FRILLS...
- 'KAY.
WHAT YOU SEE
IS WHAT YOU GET.
JUST OLD-FASHIONED SLOPPY
RUN-DOWN-YOUR-ARM HAMBURGERS.
DO IT RIGHT.
NOW IS THAT THE NORMAL
SIZE OF THE BURGER?
ACTUALLY, THE DOUBLE'S A LITTLE
BIT BIGGER THAN THAT.
THE DOUBLE'S
BIGGER THAN THIS?
YEAH, AND THAT'S
A DOUBLE.
IT'S MESSY, AND IT'S DELICIOUS.
WHAT SHOULD I
TRY TODAY?
THE BACON
CHEESEBURGER.
THE BACON
CHEESEBURGER?
EACH BURGER STARTS WITH FRESH
GROUND BEEF--NEVER FROZEN.
'CAUSE THAT MAKES
A BIG DIFFERENCE.
YES.
SO GO DOWN?
YES, PLEASE.
ANYWHERE?
AHH, ANYWHERE.
ANYWHERE?
ANYWHERE.
ANYWHERE?
ANYWHERE. NOT THERE,
BUT ANYWHERE ELSE.
HERE'S WHAT I QUESTION.
THAT'S THE BUN.
THE BURGER IS BIGGER
THAN THE BUN.
I MEAN, LOOK AT THAT.
YOU HAVE NICE BUNS.
THANK YOU. WELL,
I'M KNOWN FOR MY BUNS.
...AND FOR
THE OUT-OF-BOUNDS WAY
HE'S GONNA TURN EACH
OF THESE INTO A BACON BURGER.
WHAT IS THIS?
IT'S BACON. IT'S BACON.
IT'S BACON.
IT'S LIKE BACON SOUP.
I WANT THE BURGERS
TO BE BIG.
I WANT THE BACON--I DON'T LIKE
TWO LITTLE STRIPS OF BACON.
LIKE THE REST OF THE WORLD
MAKES BACON CHEESEBURGERS?
EXACTLY.
YOU DON'T WANT
TO FOLLOW THAT?
WE WANT TO MAKE
LIKE A BACON PATTY.
THAT'S WHAT
THIS DOES.
SO YOU BOIL
THE BACON IN WATER?
YEP.
THEN THIS SITS HERE
AND STRAINS OUT?
YEP. PUT IT ON THE GRILL,
FLATTEN IT OUT,
TURN IT OVER.
IT LOOKS ALMOST
LIKE HASH BROWNS.
THERE YOU GO.
HOW DO YOU
WANT TO DO IT?
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT,
WAIT. DID I PUT TOO MUCH,
'CAUSE THAT'S AS BIG
AS THE BURGER?
NO, THAT'S PERFECT.
THAT'S HOW IT GOES?
YEAH, IT WAS
A LITTLE LESS,
BUT THAT'S FINE.
THAT'S A LITTLE LESS?
THAT'S A LITTLE LESS,
BUT THAT'S ALL RIGHT?
TWO SLICES?
TWO SLICES
OF CHEESE ON TOP.
NOW A TYPICAL BURGER
GETS WHAT?
LETTUCE, TOMATOES, ONIONS,
PICKLES, MAYONNAISE,
MUSTARD AND KETCHUP,
'CAUSE I LIKE
MAYONNAISE.
GO GREASY
OR GO HOME.
MAYONNAISE IS GOOD
FOR YOU. THAT'S RIGHT.
NOW MUSTARD HAPPENS TO BE
A LITTLE BIT SHARPER TASTE,
SO YOU DON'T
USE AS MUCH.
WAIT A SECOND,
ARE YOU DOING
A FOOD SHOW RIGHT NOW?
NOW THE ONIONS,
WHAT YOU WANT TO DO--
YOU'RE BUILDING
A FOUNDATION HERE.
TURN IT OVER. YOU'RE BUILDING
YOURSELF A LITTLE--
A LITTLE ONION CASTLE,
IF YOU WILL...
IF YOU WILL.
ONION CASTLE?
ONION CASTLE.
GOT IT.
YOU GOTTA PUT THE KETCHUP
ON TOP OF THE ONIONS.
IT KIND OF NEUTRALIZES IT
A LITTLE BIT.
LIKE A SCARY
ROLLER COASTER.
YEAH, ISN'T THAT
SOMETHING?
PICKLES JUST ADD TO IT,
A COUPLE SLICES OF TOMATOES.
NOW WE DO THE LETTUCE, AND WE
CALL THIS THE LETTUCE SNOWBALL.
BADA-BING. NOW YOU
PUT THAT ON THERE.
AND THEN THIS?
SLIDE IT ON THERE.
LOOK AT THAT.
LOOK AT THAT.
OKAY, I GOTTA JUST HAVE
MY PICTURE TAKEN WITH THIS.
NOW WHAT'S IT
WRAPPED IN?
THE BURGER DIAPER.
AND ONCE YOU PICK IT UP,
DON'T LET IT GO, YOU KNOW?
YOU GOTTA
CODDLE THE BABY.
WE GIVE LESSONS ON WEDNESDAYS
ON HOW TO EAT.
WE HAVE GRADUATES WHO WILL
BE DOWN TO, LIKE, TWO NAPKINS.
IS SHE DOING
THIS RIGHT, MIKEY?
YEAH, SHE'S
DOING GREAT.
DOES SHE HAVE
THE HAND--
THIS ONE'S
NOT DOING IT RIGHT.
HAVE YOU NOT BEEN
TO THE WEDNESDAY LESSON?
DID YOU EAT THE WHOLE THING?
UH, YEAH.
THIS IS WHAT'S
LEFT OF IT.
THE DIAPER.
ALL RIGHT, NOW THIS
IS VERY IMPORTANT,
VERY, VERY IMPORTANT.
A LITTLE
NIP AND TUCK.
LOOK AT THAT. SEE, YOU CAN SEE
JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING ON THERE.
THAT'S WHAT
YOU WANT TO DO.
YOU WANT TO BE ABLE
TO SEE EVERYTHING,
BECAUSE, AS YOU KNOW,
90% OF YOUR TASTE BUDS
ARE IN YOUR EYEBALLS.
DUDE.
AND THAT'S WHAT
THE CUSTOMERS GET.
I NEED, LIKE, A ROAD MAP
TO EAT THROUGH THIS THING.
DON'T LET THAT BURGER
INTIMIDATE YOU.
WELL, IT'S NOT
INTIMIDATING.
I'M JUST TRYING
TO FIGURE OUT
AM I WORRIED ABOUT
THE REST OF MY WARDROBE
FOR THE REST
OF THE DAY?
LEAN OVER. LEAN OVER.
TROUGH IT. TROUGH IT.
OH, HE'S A NATURAL. HE'S BEEN
EATING HIS WHOLE LIFE.
I CAN TELL
BY LOOKING AT HIM.
LOOK IT.
YOU WEAR IT WELL.
THAT'S OUT
OF BOUNDS, MAN.
THAT'S SOMETHING.
JUST FOR THE SHOW,
I'M GONNA TAKE ANOTHER BITE.
NORMALLY, I'M
A VERY PETITE EATER.
AND AFTER ALL THE JOKING,
MIKE'S OBSESSED
WITH MAKING SURE EVERY BURGER
IS EVERYTHING IT OUGHTA BE.
WELL, I ALWAYS PLAYED
THIS GAME IN MY HEAD
THAT EVERYONE THAT CAME IN WAS
A WORLD-RENOWNED FOOD CRITIC,
AND WE WANTED
TO PLEASE 'EM.
WE WANTED TO MAKE THEM HAPPY
SO THEY'D BRAG ON ME.
...WHICH MEANS HE'S KEEPING UP
THE QUALITY ON EVERYTHING
FROM TUNA SALAD TO BLTs.
AND HE'S GOT HIS
16-YEAR-OLD SON SHANE
MAKING THE REAL-DEAL
MILK SHAKES.
SO HE WAS BRED
TO MAKE MILK SHAKES?
ACTUALLY, HE WAS BORN WITH
A GREASY SPOON IN HIS MOUTH.
SO TELL ME WHAT MAKES
A GOOD MILK SHAKE.
GOOD ICE CREAM,
GOOD MILK,
UH, THE METAL CUP.
GOOD METAL THING?
YEAH, GOOD METAL THING.
WE'RE GONNA GET
SOME MALTED MILK.
GONNA GET SOME STRAWBERRY.
STUFF IT DOWN.
SEE, I LOVE WHEN THE THINGS
ARE SPINNING,
THE JAM THING.
OH, YEAH, YOU GOTTA.
JEEZ.
IS THAT GOOD?
THAT'S MY BOY.
THAT'S MY BOY.
THAT'S MY BOY.
...MAKING YOU PROUD.
LET ME ASK YOU
A QUESTION.
HOW MUCH IS THIS SHAKE THAT
WE'RE EATING RIGHT HERE?
IT'S UNDER A HUNDRED
DOLLARS, I KNOW THAT.
$4.75? THAT'S IT?
HEY, THIS BABY'S ONLY $5.75,
AND THE AMBIANCE IS FREE.
WE GOT LIVER AND THEN
ONIONS RIGHT UP THERE.
SEE NEBRASKA?
FOR MIKE AND HIS BEACH
AND BURGER CROWD,
NOTHING COULD BE BETTER.
IN MY NEXT LIFE,
I'M COMING BACK AS ME.
I'M HAVING
SUCH A GOOD TIME.
UP NEXT, WE'RE HEADING
TO A BEACH NEAR TAMPA, FLORIDA,
WHERE IF IT SWIMS...
THE KITCHEN IS ADVENTUROUS,
AND I REALLY LIKE THAT.
THIS GUY'LL COOK IT.
IT TASTES
LIKE A CHICKEN.
I SEE ME EATING--
IT TASTES LIKE CHICKEN.
FUNNY, FUNNY.
A LOT OF THE SEASIDE
COMMUNITIES IN FLORIDA
ARE BEING TAKEN OVER
BY HIGH-RISES,
BUT NOT THIS PLACE--
INDIAN ROCKS BEACH--
ABOUT 20 MILES WEST OF TAMPA.
NOW ONE OF THE THINGS
THAT MAKES THIS PLACE SO COOL
IS PLACES LIKE THIS--
KEEGAN'S SEAFOOD GRILLE--
WHERE THEY DO SEAFOOD
FROM THE EVERYDAY
TO THE OUT OF BOUNDS.
BUT WAIT TILL YOU
TRY THEIR SPECIALTY.
AND THEN
I'M GONNA EAT IT?
I'M HAVING CHARBROILED OCTOPUS.
IT'S REALLY GOOD.
THE KITCHEN IS ADVENTUROUS,
AND I REALLY LIKE THAT.
OHH.
THEY HAVE A UNIQUE MENU.
...FILLED WITH DISHES
THAT REFLECT
THE WELL-TRAVELED HISTORY
OF THE CHEF HERE--
CéSAR LABRADOR--
A SPANIARD WHO'S
COOKED IN CHICAGO,
ATLANTA, MIAMI AND ON
CRUISE SHIPS IN THE CARIBBEAN.
YOU COOK.
WE DO.
SO YOU CAME
FROM SPAIN TO HERE.
I GOT MY APPRENTICESHIP
ON THE CRUISE SHIP
OUT OF MIAMI.
MIAMI, CHICAGO, SPAIN.
THIS HAS BEEN YOUR MAD
SCIENTIST LAND FOR 21 YEARS.
I EXPERIMENT.
FOLKS AROUND HERE ARE WILLING
TO TRY JUST ABOUT ANYTHING
CéSAR SERVES UP.
WE HAVE A LOT OF CUSTOMERS
THAT JUST TRUST ME.
A LOT OF PEOPLE, THEY COME IN,
THEY DON'T EVEN LOOK AT A MENU.
THEY LOOK
AT THE BLACKBOARD.
SO IF YOU'RE REALLY
IN THE KNOW HERE,
YOU CHECK OUT
THE BOARD?
ABSOLUTELY.
SAUTéED GROUPER
CHEEKS FLORENTINE.
YEAH, I WAS THINKING
ABOUT ORDERING THAT.
FOOD CAN BE JUST
AN EVERYDAY THING,
OR IT CAN BE SOMETHING--
OOH, I HAVE THIS.
WHAT CAN I DO WITH IT?
SO FOUR OR MAYBE FIVE
SPECIALS TONIGHT.
THAT'S WHY PEOPLE COME HERE
THREE, FOUR TIMES A WEEK TO EAT,
BECAUSE THEY CAN HAVE
SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
THEY CAN HAVE WAHOO ONE NIGHT,
KOBE ANOTHER NIGHT.
...AND THAT FLORIDA
FAVORITE--GROUPER.
I TELL YOU, GROUPER
IN FLORIDA IS IT.
THAT'S WHAT
EVERYBODY EATS.
BUT AT THIS PLACE, IT AIN'T
JUST ANOTHER GROUPER SANDWICH.
OH, IT'S DELICIOUS.
- THE BLACKENED THING WAS OUR THING.
- REALLY?
AT THE TIME, THERE WAS NOBODY
DOING BLACKENED IN FLORIDA.
SO CéSAR CREATED HIS OWN
BLACKENING SPICE--
HEAVY ON THE CRAB BOIL,
PAPRIKA AND SOME KICK.
HERE'S THE REAL HEAT OF IT--
THE CAYENNE.
WOW, YOU MAKE IT
SPICY.
BASTING SAUCE, TOO.
AND FOR THAT I USE A LITTLE
BIT OF KETCHUP.
A LITTLE
PEPPER SAUCE?
JUST A LITTLE BIT.
I LIKE IT.
MANGO CHUTNEY.
A LITTLE
MANGO CHUTNEY.
GOING ALL OVER THE BOARD
ON THIS THING.
YOU CAN BRUSH IT
RIGHT ON.
A LITTLE BLACKEN.
JUST A LITTLE BIT
OF THE SEASONING, OKAY.
YOU GOT YOUR OWN BIG GIANT
BLACKENING SKILLET RIGHT THERE
WITH THAT FLAT TOP.
YEAH, THAT'S IT.
OH, LOOK AT THAT COLOR.
THAT'S THE ONE I WANT.
YES, SIR, THAT'S
THE ONE I GIVE YOU.
IT'S ALL IN THE BODY
POSITIONING.
AND WE'RE GONNA
GET READY TO DO THIS.
NO DOUBT,
BECAUSE IT'S JUICY.
IT'S WHAT?
JUICY.
JUICY.
AND HOT. CAREFUL.
HOT.
IT'S REALLY HOT.
REALLY MOIST.
NICE SPICE. NICE HEAT
FROM THAT BLACKENING SPICE.
OH, THAT SANDWICH
IS MONEY.
SO'S HIS JAMAICAN SEAFOOD ROAST
WITH A HOMEMADE JERK SAUCE
COOKED IN A TINFOIL PACKET,
PARMESAN-CRUSTED MAHIMAHI,
A MANGROVE SNAPPER SPECIAL
WITH CRAWFISH...
IT'S SPICY AND FRESH FISH.
IT'S GREAT.
AND WHAT MAY JUST BE
CéSAR'S SIGNATURE DISH.
I LOVE OCTOPUS, PARTICULARLY
IF IT'S MARINATED.
I WAS SURPRISED
HOW GOOD IT WAS.
WHERE I COME FROM IS WONDERFUL
DISHES IN MY HOMETOWN.
THIS IS A FULL
SPANISH DISH.
FROM GALICIA, FROM
THE NORTHWEST OF SPAIN.
NOW TO COOK THIS, WE'RE
GOING TO SHOCK IT FIRST.
I THINK IT'S
BEEN SHOCKED.
PUT IT INSIDE.
LOOK AT IT
CURLING UP.
RIGHT.
OH, THIS IS A PARTY.
HEY, YOU GUYS SHOWED UP
JUST IN TIME.
I GOT A COUPLE COOL ONES I'M
GONNA DROP IN BOILING WATER.
NICE AND SOFT AND PLIABLE.
SEE HOW MUCH BETTER IT LOOKS?
WOW, THAT'S
A LOT OF WINE.
NOW HOW LONG
DO THESE MARINATE?
ONE DAY,
DEFINITELY A DAY.
A DAY FOR THEM
TO PICK IT UP?
A LITTLE OREGANO?
YEAH, THIS IS ACTUALLY
ITALIAN SEASONING RIGHT HERE.
HOW ARE WE SERVING
THE OCTOPUS TODAY--
MEDIUM-RARE,
AL DENTE?
IT'S ALWAYS AL DENTE.
I TELL YOU WHAT,
THIS IS READY FOR YOU.
OH.
AND THIS IS THE BREAKFAST
OF CHAMPIONS.
YES, THAT IS.
JUST ONE LEG
AT A TIME,
IF YOU LIKE IT
THAT WAY.
ONE LEG AT A TIME--
IS THAT OCTOPUS JOKES?
YOU KNOW WHAT
THE HARD PART IS?
IT'S OCTOPUS.
THAT'S
THE TOUGH PART.
IT'S BETTER
THAN YOU THINK.
IT IS?
YEAH. IT TASTES
LIKE A CHICKEN.
I SEE ME EATING--
IT TASTES LIKE CHICKEN.
FUNNY, FUNNY.
MMM.
IT DOES HAVE, LIKE, A LOBSTER
CONSISTENCY, THOUGH.
AND IT'S NOT AS CHEWY
AS I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.
THE FLAVOR
IS REALLY GOOD.
THAT REALLY IS--I GOTTA
HAND IT TO YOU, CHEF.
I'D EAT THAT AGAIN.
THEY KNOW HOW TO MAKE IT TENDER.
THAT'S TOUGH TO DO,
IF YOU DON'T MIND THE PUN.
AND CéSAR LIVES
FOR THE TOUGH STUFF...
WE DON'T BUY IT.
WE MAKE IT.
...LIKE SPENDING TWO DAYS
ON A NEW ORLEANS CLASSIC.
GUMBO.
BUT IS IT THE REAL DEAL?
DRIVING THIS BUS
INTO FLAVOR TOWN.
WHEN YOU HIT INDIAN ROCKS BEACH
NEAR TAMPA,
FOLKS ARE FLOCKING TO THE JOINT
IN THE NEARBY STRIP MALL
FOR SERIOUS SEAFOOD
DONE EVERY WHICH WAY.
YEARS AGO, PEOPLE
ONLY ATE THE REAL THING.
AMERICA HAS CHANGED.
SO SPANISH-BORN CHEF
CéSAR LABRADOR
IS KNOCKIN' 'EM DEAD WITH
SPECIALTIES FROM EVERYWHERE,
LIKE HIS REAL-DEAL
LOUISIANA GUMBO.
ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS HERE.
LOOK AT THIS BUFFET.
WE HAVE SOME CRABS
AND SOME SHRIMPS
WITH THE HEAD ON.
THAT'S ABSOLUTELY
WHERE ALL THE FLAVOR IS.
YOU HAD ME
AT HELLO.
SIMPLE ENOUGH.
I DIG IT.
AND, OF COURSE, THE MOST
IMPORTANT THING--A ROUX.
LOOK AT THAT.
I'M GONNA DO THE ANDOUILLE
SAUSAGE FIRST.
ONION RIGHT IN.
THAT'S A LOT
OF ONIONS.
AH, JUST ENOUGH. THE PEPPER,
THE REST OF THE VEGETABLES...
CELERY?
AND THE CARROTS.
AND STARTED
THE CHICKEN.
WE USE ALL
THE FAT ON IT,
BECAUSE I WANT
TO RENDER THAT FAT.
FAT'S FLAVOR, BABY.
PUT SOME GROUPER
UP HERE.
GO BACK UP HERE.
A LITTLE TOMATO PASTE.
THAT'S SOME
PURéED TOMATOES.
A CUP OF WHITE WINE.
NO, WE'LL PUT MORE.
WE'LL PUT ABOUT
HALF A LITER.
YOU GOT YOUR WINE STASHED
ALL AROUND HERE, SAILOR.
I'M SPANISH.
PAPRIKA, BLACK PEPPER,
CHILI FLAKE, GARLIC POWDER,
GRANULATED GARLIC,
GARLIC AND ONION.
WE'RE GONNA START
PUTTING THIS TOGETHER?
YEAH, WE'RE
GONNA PUT THIS--
THIS IS LIKE
THE GUMBO MARATHON.
THAT GOES RIGHT IN.
I LIKE WHERE YOU'RE GOING.
33 INGREDIENTS INTO THIS GUMBO.
OH, I FORGOT, 34.
THE LOVE.
THE MAGIC.
IS THAT YOUR NORMAL
TASTING PLATE?
I'VE NEVER
TASTED THIS WAY.
I LIKE THIS. I USUALLY JUST
PUT MY FOREARM IN THERE.
OH, THAT IS KILLER.
IT'S GETTING THERE.
THAT'S RICH...
THAT'S OUR GUMBO.
DEEP FLAVOR...
GUMBO.
A LOT OF VEGGIES,
NOT TOO THICK, NOT TOO THIN.
THAT'S GOOD STUFF.
IT'S GOOD, ISN'T IT?
THE GUMBO'S EXCELLENT.
I WENT TO SCHOOL IN NEW ORLEANS,
AND THE GUMBO IS VERY,
VERY GOOD HERE.
AND IT'S CéSAR'S ABILITY
TO MAKE A NEW ORLEANS CLASSIC
THE NEW ORLEANS WAY,
A SPANISH CLASSIC
THE SPANISH WAY
AND A FLORIDA CLASSIC
THE FLORIDA WAY
THAT KEEP FOLKS COMING BACK
HERE FOR EVERYTHING
DONE CéSAR'S WAY.
WHEN YOU COME INTO KEEGAN'S,
YOU'RE IN INDIAN ROCKS BEACH.
WE EAT OUT A LOT.
THIS IS OUR TUESDAYS AND
THURSDAYS PLACE A LOT OF TIMES.
OH, YOU HAVE IT
MAPPED OUT LIKE THAT?
YEAH, I GOT IT DOWN
TO A SCIENCE.
SO IF ANYBODY WANTS
TO KNOCK YOU OFF,
THEY'LL KNOW WHERE TO FIND YOU
ON TUESDAYS AT 1:30, RIGHT?
YOU CAN FIND OUT
WHERE WE'RE AT.
I MEAN, JUST GO AHEAD
AND TALK. I'M JUST--
I THINK IT STARES AT ME.
IT'S BEGGING ME TO TRY MORE.
SO THAT'S IT FOR THIS TRIP,
BUT DON'T WORRY.
WE GOT PLENTY MORE PLACES
TO FIND.
I'LL SEE YA NEXT TIME ON
"DINERS, DRIVE-INS AND DIVES."
AS IT GOES THROUGH
THE BACK OF THE TONGUE,
DOWN THE ESOPHAGUS
AND, BOOM, RIGHT IN THE BELLY.
THANKS FOR GETTING
THE BELLY ON ME.
I APPRECIATE
THAT PART.
AND WE'RE ROLLIN' OUT,
HEADED FOR AMERICA'S GREATEST
DINERS, DRIVE-INS AND DIVES.
THIS TRIP--SEASIDE EATS--
A 39-YEAR-OLD
RHODE ISLAND JOINT
THAT'S A NEW ENGLAND LEGEND
FOR CLAMS...
THAT'S LIKE A MONSTER
CLAM PLATE.
I'M GONNA
EAT IT ALL.
CHOWDER...
IT'S SO GOOD.
AND GET A LOAD OF THIS.
THAT'S THE LOBSTER
CHOW MEIN.
DUDE, THIS IS FUNKY,
BUT GOOD.
WE'RE HEADING
TO SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA,
WHERE SURFERS ARE BUILDING
BURGERS AS BIG AS THE BEACH...
NO FANCY FRILLS...
WHAT YOU SEE
IS WHAT YOU GET.
JUST OLD-FASHIONED SLOPPY
RUN-DOWN-YOUR-ARM HAMBURGERS.
DO IT RIGHT.
AND DOWN TO FLORIDA
TO A BEACHSIDE STRIP MALL...
THEY HAVE A UNIQUE MENU.
WHERE A CHEF FROM SPAIN
WILL COOK UP ANYTHING.
THE FLAVOR
IS REALLY GOOD.
HEY, YOU GUYS SHOWED UP JUST IN
TIME. I GOT A COUPLE COOL ONES.
THAT'S ALL RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW
ON "DINERS, DRIVE-INS
AND DIVES."
Closed Captions provided
by Scripps Networks, LLC.
Captioned by
Closed Captioning Services, Inc.
I'M HERE IN TIVERTON,
RHODE ISLAND,
ON THE NANNAQUAKET POND
THAT CONNECTS
TO THE SAKONNET RIVER.
NOW THAT'S A MOUTHFUL,
BUT THAT'S EXACTLY
WHAT YOU'RE GONNA GET--
A MOUTHFUL--AT THIS JOINT--
EVELYN'S DRIVE-IN,
WHERE THEY FEATURE
FRESH LOCAL SEAFOOD,
EITHER FRIED OR GRILLED,
AND SOME GREAT LOCAL FAVORITES.
CAN I GET FOUR CLAM CAKES?
IT'S FRESH.
THAT'S FANTASTIC.
I LOVE THIS PLACE
BECAUSE THEY SERVE TRADITIONAL
NEW ENGLAND SEAFOOD.
...LIKE CLAM CAKES.
WHAT ARE YOU
SO HAPPY ABOUT?
JUST LOVIN' LIFE
AND MY CLAM CAKE.
AND YOU CLAM CAKE.
AND FRESH, LOCAL
WHOLE BELLY FRIED CLAMS...
THE BEST--THE MEAT
IN THAT IS BIG BELLY.
AND CHOWDER.
THIS IS HOW I WOULD
MAKE MY CHOWDER--
EVERYTHING RIGHT FROM THE OCEAN.
YOU WANT TO MAKE
A SEAFOOD PLATTER?
JANE AND DOMENIC BITTO
BOUGHT EVELYN'S 21 YEARS AGO.
WE JUST KIND OF TRIPPED AND FELL
UPON EVELYN'S DRIVE-IN.
I ACTUALLY GOT LOST
GOING TO ANOTHER PLACE.
AND YOU WERE
LOOKING TO BUY?
YEAH. SO THEN WE STOPPED
HERE FOR LUNCH,
AND THAT'S HOW--
AND IT WAS FOR SALE
FROM THE ORIGINAL
EVELYN.
AND THEY'VE BEEN DOING THINGS
EVELYN'S WAY EVER SINCE.
NUMBER 720, YOUR FOOD IS READY.
IN THE WORLD OF SEAFOOD,
HOW DO THESE FOLKS RATE?
TOP SHELF.
I'M HERE EVERY WEEK,
BUT I USUALLY
EAT THE FRIED CLAMS.
FRIED CLAMS IS WHAT
WE'RE FAMOUS FOR.
...STILL DONE EVELYN'S WAY.
IT'S A DRY BATTER.
NO DIPPING IN MILK
AND JUST ENOUGH BATTER
TO GET THE JOB DONE.
WE TRY TO GET MOST
OF THE BATTER OFF,
WHICH A LOT OF PLACES
WON'T COOK IT THAT WAY.
AND WE FRY IT SO IT COMES OUT
WITH A NICE THIN CRUST
INSTEAD OF, LIKE,
THAT THICK CRUST
THAT YOU'RE NORMALLY USED TO.
SO WHAT YOU'RE GETTING
IS ALL SEAFOOD.
THAT'S LIKE A MONSTER
CLAM PLATE.
I'M GONNA EAT
IT ALL.
I'VE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO
THIS ALL SUMMER. I REALLY HAVE.
I HAVEN'T HAD A FRIED CLAM YET,
AND THIS IS, LIKE, THE MOST
IMPORTANT PART OF SUMMER.
HOW ABOUT CHOWDER?
OH, YEAH, CHOWDER'S PROBABLY
ONE OF OUR HUGEST ITEMS HERE.
IT'S A RHODE ISLAND
CHOWDER.
WHAT'S RHODE ISLAND
CHOWDER?
IT'S CALLED
A CLEAR CHOWDER,
SO THERE'S NO CREAM
ADDED TO IT
TILL THE WAITRESS
IS SERVING IT,
AND THEN THE CREAM
IS ADDED.
THIS IS ACTUALLY EVELYN'S
ORIGINAL RECIPE.
THAT'S EVELYN'S
ORIGINAL POT.
IT IS.
AND WE JUST
ADD MARGARINE.
AND NOW WE THROW IN
SOME CLAM BASE?
YEP. AND THIS IS HOW EVELYN'S
PUTS THEIR BAY LEAVES
IN THE CHOWDER,
'CAUSE WE DON'T WANT ANYBODY
TO CHOKE ON A BAY LEAF.
SO THAT GOES IN THERE. A LITTLE
BIT OF ONION, NOT TOO MUCH.
THEN YOU ADD YOUR
2 GALLONS OF CLAMS.
HOLY CLAM, BATMAN.
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
SO RAW POTATOES--
RUSSETS
THAT ARE PEELED.
SO THIS'LL TAKE ABOUT
ANOTHER HALF AN HOUR
TO COME UP?
HALF AN HOUR,
40 MINUTES, YEP.
IT'S SO GOOD. IT TASTES
A LOT LIKE THE CREAMY KIND,
BUT IT'S, UM, IT'S LIGHTER.
BUT THIS RHODE ISLAND
BROTH CHOWDER EXPERIENCE
WOULDN'T BE COMPLETE
WITHOUT A LITTLE NUGGET
CALLED A CLAM CAKE.
WHEN YOU
START EATING THEM
AND THEN YOU COME BACK
AND YOU HAVE ANOTHER ONE,
YOU DIP IT IN YOUR CHOWDER,
THEN YOU GET ADDICTED TO IT.
IS THERE A SUPPORT GROUP,
A NUMBER I CAN CALL?
SO WE JUST MIX IT UP.
WE USE A LITTLE WARM WATER.
DO YOU MEASURE IT,
OR DO YOU JUST EYEBALL IT?
YEAH, WE DO EVERYTHING
BY CONSISTENCY.
NOW THIS LOOKS LIKE A FULL-TIME
JOB HERE AT EVELYN'S.
MAKING 20 OR 25 BUCKETS A DAY
IS PRETTY FULL TIME, YEAH.
SO YOU JUST SIT HERE
THE WHOLE TIME AND DO THIS?
YEAH.
AND THEN THEY YELL.
YEAH.
CAN I GET FOUR?
I HAVE TO BAG FOUR
AND GO GIVE IT TO THEM.
YOU COULD EAT 'EM PLAIN...
TAKE A BITE
OF THE CLAM.
ARE YOU GONNA
PUT IT IN THERE?
YOU'RE TEASING ME WITH IT.
I FEEL LIKE A DOG.
OH, THAT'S GONNA BE
HOW IT'S GONNA BE.
SALTY DOUGHNUT.
OR WITH VINEGAR.
IT MOISTENS IT UP A LITTLE BIT
AND MAKES IT REALLY TART.
BUT THE REAL DEAL
IS WITH CHOWDER.
THAT'S A CROUTON, BABY.
- THAT'S A CROUTON.
- EXACTLY.
AND I'VE NEVER
HAD IT THIS THIN,
BUT I GOTTA TELL YA,
THIS IS ALMOST DELICATE.
AND THE CLAMS
ARE TENDER. WOW.
SO THIS IS WHAT
IT'S ALL ABOUT, HUH?
THIS IS KILLER.
HI.
HI.
SO IS THE WHOLE
EXPERIENCE HERE--
AS TRADITIONAL AS SEASIDE
EATS GET IN NEW ENGLAND...
IT MAKES THE SUMMERS
IN RHODE ISLAND SUPER SPECIAL.
BUT WITH ONE MORE TRADITION
THAT'S TOTALLY OUT OF BOUNDS.
LOBSTER CHOW MEIN.
YOU HEARD HIM--
LOBSTER CHOW MEIN.
IT'S UNIQUE.
THAT'S FOR SURE.
IT WAS EVELYN'S
RECIPE.
YEAH.
SO WE THOUGHT IT WAS JOKE
WHEN WE BOUGHT THE PLACE,
BUT IT'S HOMEMADE.
WE MAKE IT EVERY DAY.
...WITH FRESH VEGETABLES,
CHICKEN BROTH
AND, OH, YEAH, THE SAME SPECIAL
INGREDIENT EVELYN USED.
HOO-MEE GRAVY MIX.
HOO-MEE GRAVY MIX.
CHOW MEIN GRAVY--
I HAVE SEEN IT ALL.
I'M IN RHODE ISLAND.
I'M ON THE WATER.
WE'RE MAKING CLAM THINGS, AND
THEN YOU BREAK THIS OUT ON ME.
THIS IS BANANAS.
BUT BANANAS IS GOOD.
NOW WE SLOWLY
STIR THAT IN.
AND WE HAVE
THE LOBSTER.
LOOK AT THAT.
THAT'S THE LOBSTER
CHOW MEIN.
THIS, MY FRIEND,
IS GONNA GO UP THERE
IN SOME OF THE ODDEST THINGS
I'VE EVER EATEN.
DUDE, THIS IS FUNKY,
BUT GOOD.
THIS IS THE END
OF THE SPECTRUM, MAYBE.
IT'S ADDICTING.
GOOD.
YOU DON'T JUST
WANT ONE BITE.
YOUR MIND,
YOUR BODY--
MY MOUTH'S GOING, LIKE,
"WHAT ARE YOU HAVING?"
THERE'S NO REASON THAT
I SHOULD BE ENJOYING IT.
OH, I KNOW. I KNOW.
BUT AS WRONG AS IT IS,
IT'S RIGHT.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
IT'S EXCELLENT.
IT IS DELICIOUS.
IT IS, ISN'T IT?
IT'S ONE MORE PART OF THE WHOLE
SEASIDE-EATS TRADITION
THAT FOLKS AROUND HERE
CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF.
IT'S PART OF RHODE ISLAND.
IT'S THINGS YOU CAN'T
GET ANYWHERE ELSE.
GREAT FOOD...
IT'S REALLY DELICIOUS.
GREAT PLACE... AND JANE
AND DOMENIC STILL FEELING LUCKY
THAT WHEN IT'S TIME TO GO
TO WORK, THEY END UP HERE.
WELL, WE OFTEN SIT THERE
IN THE MORNING FOR COFFEE
AND TALK ABOUT STUFF
INSTEAD OF INSIDE.
WE LOVE IT.
YOU REALLY LOOK
STRESSED OUT.
WE DO?
YEAH, RIGHT.
NEXT UP, WE'RE HEADING
TO A BEACH NEAR SAN DIEGO,
WHERE A SURFER'S
BANGING OUT BURGERS...
IT'S MESSY, AND IT'S DELICIOUS.
YOU CAN'T HELP BUT WEAR.
DON'T LET THAT BURGER
INTIMIDATE YOU.
WELL, IT'S NOT
INTIMIDATING.
I'M JUST TRYING TO FIGURE OUT
AM I WORRIED
ABOUT THE REST OF MY WARDROBE
FOR THE REST OF THE DAY?
OCEAN BEACH, CALIFORNIA,
IS HOME TO GREAT SURF,
A LOT OF REALLY COOL
LAID-BACK PEOPLE
AND A LITTLE PLACE
CALLED HODAD'S,
IN MY OPINION, WHAT A LOCAL
BURGER JOINT OUGHTA BE--
NO SHOES, NO SHIRT, NO PROBLEM.
RIGHT HERE, BUDDY.
WHERE TO, JAMIE?
IT'S DELICIOUS.
NOW THIS
IS A FANCY RESTAURANT.
LADIES ALWAYS GO FIRST
IN A FANCY RESTAURANT.
THEY'RE VERY FRIENDLY.
WHAT DOES HODAD
MEAN ANYWAYS?
HODAD--
OKAY, IT'S A SURFING TERM
FROM THE EARLY '60s.
IT'S SOMEONE THAT HANGS OUT ON
THE BEACH, HAS GOT A NICE BOARD.
YOU ALWAYS SEE 'EM,
YOU KNOW, AT THE BEACH,
BUT THEY DON'T KNOW
HOW TO SURF.
WHEN MIKE HARDIN
WASN'T SURFING,
HE GREW UP AT HODAD'S.
COME ON. THERE YOU GO.
THERE YOU GO.
HIS PARENTS STARTED
RUNNING IT IN '73.
HE TOOK OVER IN '84
AND GAVE THE PLACE
HIS OWN SENSE OF STYLE.
WOULD YOU BELIEVE I TOOK NO
LESSONS IN INTERIOR DECORATING?
YOU KNOW, IT WOULDN'T
SHOW AT ALL.
PEPSI.
AND LAID-BACK
SURFER ATTITUDE ASIDE...
LIKE I CAN REMEMBER ALL THAT.
THIS GUY'S CRANKIN' OUT SOME
RIGHTEOUS BEACHSIDE BURGERS.
BEST BURGER
IN THIS AREA?
BEST BURGER,
FOR SURE.
HANDS DOWN?
HANDS DOWN.
YEAH.
IT'S GOOD. IT'S REAL GOOD.
- NO FANCY FRILLS...
- 'KAY.
WHAT YOU SEE
IS WHAT YOU GET.
JUST OLD-FASHIONED SLOPPY
RUN-DOWN-YOUR-ARM HAMBURGERS.
DO IT RIGHT.
NOW IS THAT THE NORMAL
SIZE OF THE BURGER?
ACTUALLY, THE DOUBLE'S A LITTLE
BIT BIGGER THAN THAT.
THE DOUBLE'S
BIGGER THAN THIS?
YEAH, AND THAT'S
A DOUBLE.
IT'S MESSY, AND IT'S DELICIOUS.
WHAT SHOULD I
TRY TODAY?
THE BACON
CHEESEBURGER.
THE BACON
CHEESEBURGER?
EACH BURGER STARTS WITH FRESH
GROUND BEEF--NEVER FROZEN.
'CAUSE THAT MAKES
A BIG DIFFERENCE.
YES.
SO GO DOWN?
YES, PLEASE.
ANYWHERE?
AHH, ANYWHERE.
ANYWHERE?
ANYWHERE.
ANYWHERE?
ANYWHERE. NOT THERE,
BUT ANYWHERE ELSE.
HERE'S WHAT I QUESTION.
THAT'S THE BUN.
THE BURGER IS BIGGER
THAN THE BUN.
I MEAN, LOOK AT THAT.
YOU HAVE NICE BUNS.
THANK YOU. WELL,
I'M KNOWN FOR MY BUNS.
...AND FOR
THE OUT-OF-BOUNDS WAY
HE'S GONNA TURN EACH
OF THESE INTO A BACON BURGER.
WHAT IS THIS?
IT'S BACON. IT'S BACON.
IT'S BACON.
IT'S LIKE BACON SOUP.
I WANT THE BURGERS
TO BE BIG.
I WANT THE BACON--I DON'T LIKE
TWO LITTLE STRIPS OF BACON.
LIKE THE REST OF THE WORLD
MAKES BACON CHEESEBURGERS?
EXACTLY.
YOU DON'T WANT
TO FOLLOW THAT?
WE WANT TO MAKE
LIKE A BACON PATTY.
THAT'S WHAT
THIS DOES.
SO YOU BOIL
THE BACON IN WATER?
YEP.
THEN THIS SITS HERE
AND STRAINS OUT?
YEP. PUT IT ON THE GRILL,
FLATTEN IT OUT,
TURN IT OVER.
IT LOOKS ALMOST
LIKE HASH BROWNS.
THERE YOU GO.
HOW DO YOU
WANT TO DO IT?
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT,
WAIT. DID I PUT TOO MUCH,
'CAUSE THAT'S AS BIG
AS THE BURGER?
NO, THAT'S PERFECT.
THAT'S HOW IT GOES?
YEAH, IT WAS
A LITTLE LESS,
BUT THAT'S FINE.
THAT'S A LITTLE LESS?
THAT'S A LITTLE LESS,
BUT THAT'S ALL RIGHT?
TWO SLICES?
TWO SLICES
OF CHEESE ON TOP.
NOW A TYPICAL BURGER
GETS WHAT?
LETTUCE, TOMATOES, ONIONS,
PICKLES, MAYONNAISE,
MUSTARD AND KETCHUP,
'CAUSE I LIKE
MAYONNAISE.
GO GREASY
OR GO HOME.
MAYONNAISE IS GOOD
FOR YOU. THAT'S RIGHT.
NOW MUSTARD HAPPENS TO BE
A LITTLE BIT SHARPER TASTE,
SO YOU DON'T
USE AS MUCH.
WAIT A SECOND,
ARE YOU DOING
A FOOD SHOW RIGHT NOW?
NOW THE ONIONS,
WHAT YOU WANT TO DO--
YOU'RE BUILDING
A FOUNDATION HERE.
TURN IT OVER. YOU'RE BUILDING
YOURSELF A LITTLE--
A LITTLE ONION CASTLE,
IF YOU WILL...
IF YOU WILL.
ONION CASTLE?
ONION CASTLE.
GOT IT.
YOU GOTTA PUT THE KETCHUP
ON TOP OF THE ONIONS.
IT KIND OF NEUTRALIZES IT
A LITTLE BIT.
LIKE A SCARY
ROLLER COASTER.
YEAH, ISN'T THAT
SOMETHING?
PICKLES JUST ADD TO IT,
A COUPLE SLICES OF TOMATOES.
NOW WE DO THE LETTUCE, AND WE
CALL THIS THE LETTUCE SNOWBALL.
BADA-BING. NOW YOU
PUT THAT ON THERE.
AND THEN THIS?
SLIDE IT ON THERE.
LOOK AT THAT.
LOOK AT THAT.
OKAY, I GOTTA JUST HAVE
MY PICTURE TAKEN WITH THIS.
NOW WHAT'S IT
WRAPPED IN?
THE BURGER DIAPER.
AND ONCE YOU PICK IT UP,
DON'T LET IT GO, YOU KNOW?
YOU GOTTA
CODDLE THE BABY.
WE GIVE LESSONS ON WEDNESDAYS
ON HOW TO EAT.
WE HAVE GRADUATES WHO WILL
BE DOWN TO, LIKE, TWO NAPKINS.
IS SHE DOING
THIS RIGHT, MIKEY?
YEAH, SHE'S
DOING GREAT.
DOES SHE HAVE
THE HAND--
THIS ONE'S
NOT DOING IT RIGHT.
HAVE YOU NOT BEEN
TO THE WEDNESDAY LESSON?
DID YOU EAT THE WHOLE THING?
UH, YEAH.
THIS IS WHAT'S
LEFT OF IT.
THE DIAPER.
ALL RIGHT, NOW THIS
IS VERY IMPORTANT,
VERY, VERY IMPORTANT.
A LITTLE
NIP AND TUCK.
LOOK AT THAT. SEE, YOU CAN SEE
JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING ON THERE.
THAT'S WHAT
YOU WANT TO DO.
YOU WANT TO BE ABLE
TO SEE EVERYTHING,
BECAUSE, AS YOU KNOW,
90% OF YOUR TASTE BUDS
ARE IN YOUR EYEBALLS.
DUDE.
AND THAT'S WHAT
THE CUSTOMERS GET.
I NEED, LIKE, A ROAD MAP
TO EAT THROUGH THIS THING.
DON'T LET THAT BURGER
INTIMIDATE YOU.
WELL, IT'S NOT
INTIMIDATING.
I'M JUST TRYING
TO FIGURE OUT
AM I WORRIED ABOUT
THE REST OF MY WARDROBE
FOR THE REST
OF THE DAY?
LEAN OVER. LEAN OVER.
TROUGH IT. TROUGH IT.
OH, HE'S A NATURAL. HE'S BEEN
EATING HIS WHOLE LIFE.
I CAN TELL
BY LOOKING AT HIM.
LOOK IT.
YOU WEAR IT WELL.
THAT'S OUT
OF BOUNDS, MAN.
THAT'S SOMETHING.
JUST FOR THE SHOW,
I'M GONNA TAKE ANOTHER BITE.
NORMALLY, I'M
A VERY PETITE EATER.
AND AFTER ALL THE JOKING,
MIKE'S OBSESSED
WITH MAKING SURE EVERY BURGER
IS EVERYTHING IT OUGHTA BE.
WELL, I ALWAYS PLAYED
THIS GAME IN MY HEAD
THAT EVERYONE THAT CAME IN WAS
A WORLD-RENOWNED FOOD CRITIC,
AND WE WANTED
TO PLEASE 'EM.
WE WANTED TO MAKE THEM HAPPY
SO THEY'D BRAG ON ME.
...WHICH MEANS HE'S KEEPING UP
THE QUALITY ON EVERYTHING
FROM TUNA SALAD TO BLTs.
AND HE'S GOT HIS
16-YEAR-OLD SON SHANE
MAKING THE REAL-DEAL
MILK SHAKES.
SO HE WAS BRED
TO MAKE MILK SHAKES?
ACTUALLY, HE WAS BORN WITH
A GREASY SPOON IN HIS MOUTH.
SO TELL ME WHAT MAKES
A GOOD MILK SHAKE.
GOOD ICE CREAM,
GOOD MILK,
UH, THE METAL CUP.
GOOD METAL THING?
YEAH, GOOD METAL THING.
WE'RE GONNA GET
SOME MALTED MILK.
GONNA GET SOME STRAWBERRY.
STUFF IT DOWN.
SEE, I LOVE WHEN THE THINGS
ARE SPINNING,
THE JAM THING.
OH, YEAH, YOU GOTTA.
JEEZ.
IS THAT GOOD?
THAT'S MY BOY.
THAT'S MY BOY.
THAT'S MY BOY.
...MAKING YOU PROUD.
LET ME ASK YOU
A QUESTION.
HOW MUCH IS THIS SHAKE THAT
WE'RE EATING RIGHT HERE?
IT'S UNDER A HUNDRED
DOLLARS, I KNOW THAT.
$4.75? THAT'S IT?
HEY, THIS BABY'S ONLY $5.75,
AND THE AMBIANCE IS FREE.
WE GOT LIVER AND THEN
ONIONS RIGHT UP THERE.
SEE NEBRASKA?
FOR MIKE AND HIS BEACH
AND BURGER CROWD,
NOTHING COULD BE BETTER.
IN MY NEXT LIFE,
I'M COMING BACK AS ME.
I'M HAVING
SUCH A GOOD TIME.
UP NEXT, WE'RE HEADING
TO A BEACH NEAR TAMPA, FLORIDA,
WHERE IF IT SWIMS...
THE KITCHEN IS ADVENTUROUS,
AND I REALLY LIKE THAT.
THIS GUY'LL COOK IT.
IT TASTES
LIKE A CHICKEN.
I SEE ME EATING--
IT TASTES LIKE CHICKEN.
FUNNY, FUNNY.
A LOT OF THE SEASIDE
COMMUNITIES IN FLORIDA
ARE BEING TAKEN OVER
BY HIGH-RISES,
BUT NOT THIS PLACE--
INDIAN ROCKS BEACH--
ABOUT 20 MILES WEST OF TAMPA.
NOW ONE OF THE THINGS
THAT MAKES THIS PLACE SO COOL
IS PLACES LIKE THIS--
KEEGAN'S SEAFOOD GRILLE--
WHERE THEY DO SEAFOOD
FROM THE EVERYDAY
TO THE OUT OF BOUNDS.
BUT WAIT TILL YOU
TRY THEIR SPECIALTY.
AND THEN
I'M GONNA EAT IT?
I'M HAVING CHARBROILED OCTOPUS.
IT'S REALLY GOOD.
THE KITCHEN IS ADVENTUROUS,
AND I REALLY LIKE THAT.
OHH.
THEY HAVE A UNIQUE MENU.
...FILLED WITH DISHES
THAT REFLECT
THE WELL-TRAVELED HISTORY
OF THE CHEF HERE--
CéSAR LABRADOR--
A SPANIARD WHO'S
COOKED IN CHICAGO,
ATLANTA, MIAMI AND ON
CRUISE SHIPS IN THE CARIBBEAN.
YOU COOK.
WE DO.
SO YOU CAME
FROM SPAIN TO HERE.
I GOT MY APPRENTICESHIP
ON THE CRUISE SHIP
OUT OF MIAMI.
MIAMI, CHICAGO, SPAIN.
THIS HAS BEEN YOUR MAD
SCIENTIST LAND FOR 21 YEARS.
I EXPERIMENT.
FOLKS AROUND HERE ARE WILLING
TO TRY JUST ABOUT ANYTHING
CéSAR SERVES UP.
WE HAVE A LOT OF CUSTOMERS
THAT JUST TRUST ME.
A LOT OF PEOPLE, THEY COME IN,
THEY DON'T EVEN LOOK AT A MENU.
THEY LOOK
AT THE BLACKBOARD.
SO IF YOU'RE REALLY
IN THE KNOW HERE,
YOU CHECK OUT
THE BOARD?
ABSOLUTELY.
SAUTéED GROUPER
CHEEKS FLORENTINE.
YEAH, I WAS THINKING
ABOUT ORDERING THAT.
FOOD CAN BE JUST
AN EVERYDAY THING,
OR IT CAN BE SOMETHING--
OOH, I HAVE THIS.
WHAT CAN I DO WITH IT?
SO FOUR OR MAYBE FIVE
SPECIALS TONIGHT.
THAT'S WHY PEOPLE COME HERE
THREE, FOUR TIMES A WEEK TO EAT,
BECAUSE THEY CAN HAVE
SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
THEY CAN HAVE WAHOO ONE NIGHT,
KOBE ANOTHER NIGHT.
...AND THAT FLORIDA
FAVORITE--GROUPER.
I TELL YOU, GROUPER
IN FLORIDA IS IT.
THAT'S WHAT
EVERYBODY EATS.
BUT AT THIS PLACE, IT AIN'T
JUST ANOTHER GROUPER SANDWICH.
OH, IT'S DELICIOUS.
- THE BLACKENED THING WAS OUR THING.
- REALLY?
AT THE TIME, THERE WAS NOBODY
DOING BLACKENED IN FLORIDA.
SO CéSAR CREATED HIS OWN
BLACKENING SPICE--
HEAVY ON THE CRAB BOIL,
PAPRIKA AND SOME KICK.
HERE'S THE REAL HEAT OF IT--
THE CAYENNE.
WOW, YOU MAKE IT
SPICY.
BASTING SAUCE, TOO.
AND FOR THAT I USE A LITTLE
BIT OF KETCHUP.
A LITTLE
PEPPER SAUCE?
JUST A LITTLE BIT.
I LIKE IT.
MANGO CHUTNEY.
A LITTLE
MANGO CHUTNEY.
GOING ALL OVER THE BOARD
ON THIS THING.
YOU CAN BRUSH IT
RIGHT ON.
A LITTLE BLACKEN.
JUST A LITTLE BIT
OF THE SEASONING, OKAY.
YOU GOT YOUR OWN BIG GIANT
BLACKENING SKILLET RIGHT THERE
WITH THAT FLAT TOP.
YEAH, THAT'S IT.
OH, LOOK AT THAT COLOR.
THAT'S THE ONE I WANT.
YES, SIR, THAT'S
THE ONE I GIVE YOU.
IT'S ALL IN THE BODY
POSITIONING.
AND WE'RE GONNA
GET READY TO DO THIS.
NO DOUBT,
BECAUSE IT'S JUICY.
IT'S WHAT?
JUICY.
JUICY.
AND HOT. CAREFUL.
HOT.
IT'S REALLY HOT.
REALLY MOIST.
NICE SPICE. NICE HEAT
FROM THAT BLACKENING SPICE.
OH, THAT SANDWICH
IS MONEY.
SO'S HIS JAMAICAN SEAFOOD ROAST
WITH A HOMEMADE JERK SAUCE
COOKED IN A TINFOIL PACKET,
PARMESAN-CRUSTED MAHIMAHI,
A MANGROVE SNAPPER SPECIAL
WITH CRAWFISH...
IT'S SPICY AND FRESH FISH.
IT'S GREAT.
AND WHAT MAY JUST BE
CéSAR'S SIGNATURE DISH.
I LOVE OCTOPUS, PARTICULARLY
IF IT'S MARINATED.
I WAS SURPRISED
HOW GOOD IT WAS.
WHERE I COME FROM IS WONDERFUL
DISHES IN MY HOMETOWN.
THIS IS A FULL
SPANISH DISH.
FROM GALICIA, FROM
THE NORTHWEST OF SPAIN.
NOW TO COOK THIS, WE'RE
GOING TO SHOCK IT FIRST.
I THINK IT'S
BEEN SHOCKED.
PUT IT INSIDE.
LOOK AT IT
CURLING UP.
RIGHT.
OH, THIS IS A PARTY.
HEY, YOU GUYS SHOWED UP
JUST IN TIME.
I GOT A COUPLE COOL ONES I'M
GONNA DROP IN BOILING WATER.
NICE AND SOFT AND PLIABLE.
SEE HOW MUCH BETTER IT LOOKS?
WOW, THAT'S
A LOT OF WINE.
NOW HOW LONG
DO THESE MARINATE?
ONE DAY,
DEFINITELY A DAY.
A DAY FOR THEM
TO PICK IT UP?
A LITTLE OREGANO?
YEAH, THIS IS ACTUALLY
ITALIAN SEASONING RIGHT HERE.
HOW ARE WE SERVING
THE OCTOPUS TODAY--
MEDIUM-RARE,
AL DENTE?
IT'S ALWAYS AL DENTE.
I TELL YOU WHAT,
THIS IS READY FOR YOU.
OH.
AND THIS IS THE BREAKFAST
OF CHAMPIONS.
YES, THAT IS.
JUST ONE LEG
AT A TIME,
IF YOU LIKE IT
THAT WAY.
ONE LEG AT A TIME--
IS THAT OCTOPUS JOKES?
YOU KNOW WHAT
THE HARD PART IS?
IT'S OCTOPUS.
THAT'S
THE TOUGH PART.
IT'S BETTER
THAN YOU THINK.
IT IS?
YEAH. IT TASTES
LIKE A CHICKEN.
I SEE ME EATING--
IT TASTES LIKE CHICKEN.
FUNNY, FUNNY.
MMM.
IT DOES HAVE, LIKE, A LOBSTER
CONSISTENCY, THOUGH.
AND IT'S NOT AS CHEWY
AS I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.
THE FLAVOR
IS REALLY GOOD.
THAT REALLY IS--I GOTTA
HAND IT TO YOU, CHEF.
I'D EAT THAT AGAIN.
THEY KNOW HOW TO MAKE IT TENDER.
THAT'S TOUGH TO DO,
IF YOU DON'T MIND THE PUN.
AND CéSAR LIVES
FOR THE TOUGH STUFF...
WE DON'T BUY IT.
WE MAKE IT.
...LIKE SPENDING TWO DAYS
ON A NEW ORLEANS CLASSIC.
GUMBO.
BUT IS IT THE REAL DEAL?
DRIVING THIS BUS
INTO FLAVOR TOWN.
WHEN YOU HIT INDIAN ROCKS BEACH
NEAR TAMPA,
FOLKS ARE FLOCKING TO THE JOINT
IN THE NEARBY STRIP MALL
FOR SERIOUS SEAFOOD
DONE EVERY WHICH WAY.
YEARS AGO, PEOPLE
ONLY ATE THE REAL THING.
AMERICA HAS CHANGED.
SO SPANISH-BORN CHEF
CéSAR LABRADOR
IS KNOCKIN' 'EM DEAD WITH
SPECIALTIES FROM EVERYWHERE,
LIKE HIS REAL-DEAL
LOUISIANA GUMBO.
ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS HERE.
LOOK AT THIS BUFFET.
WE HAVE SOME CRABS
AND SOME SHRIMPS
WITH THE HEAD ON.
THAT'S ABSOLUTELY
WHERE ALL THE FLAVOR IS.
YOU HAD ME
AT HELLO.
SIMPLE ENOUGH.
I DIG IT.
AND, OF COURSE, THE MOST
IMPORTANT THING--A ROUX.
LOOK AT THAT.
I'M GONNA DO THE ANDOUILLE
SAUSAGE FIRST.
ONION RIGHT IN.
THAT'S A LOT
OF ONIONS.
AH, JUST ENOUGH. THE PEPPER,
THE REST OF THE VEGETABLES...
CELERY?
AND THE CARROTS.
AND STARTED
THE CHICKEN.
WE USE ALL
THE FAT ON IT,
BECAUSE I WANT
TO RENDER THAT FAT.
FAT'S FLAVOR, BABY.
PUT SOME GROUPER
UP HERE.
GO BACK UP HERE.
A LITTLE TOMATO PASTE.
THAT'S SOME
PURéED TOMATOES.
A CUP OF WHITE WINE.
NO, WE'LL PUT MORE.
WE'LL PUT ABOUT
HALF A LITER.
YOU GOT YOUR WINE STASHED
ALL AROUND HERE, SAILOR.
I'M SPANISH.
PAPRIKA, BLACK PEPPER,
CHILI FLAKE, GARLIC POWDER,
GRANULATED GARLIC,
GARLIC AND ONION.
WE'RE GONNA START
PUTTING THIS TOGETHER?
YEAH, WE'RE
GONNA PUT THIS--
THIS IS LIKE
THE GUMBO MARATHON.
THAT GOES RIGHT IN.
I LIKE WHERE YOU'RE GOING.
33 INGREDIENTS INTO THIS GUMBO.
OH, I FORGOT, 34.
THE LOVE.
THE MAGIC.
IS THAT YOUR NORMAL
TASTING PLATE?
I'VE NEVER
TASTED THIS WAY.
I LIKE THIS. I USUALLY JUST
PUT MY FOREARM IN THERE.
OH, THAT IS KILLER.
IT'S GETTING THERE.
THAT'S RICH...
THAT'S OUR GUMBO.
DEEP FLAVOR...
GUMBO.
A LOT OF VEGGIES,
NOT TOO THICK, NOT TOO THIN.
THAT'S GOOD STUFF.
IT'S GOOD, ISN'T IT?
THE GUMBO'S EXCELLENT.
I WENT TO SCHOOL IN NEW ORLEANS,
AND THE GUMBO IS VERY,
VERY GOOD HERE.
AND IT'S CéSAR'S ABILITY
TO MAKE A NEW ORLEANS CLASSIC
THE NEW ORLEANS WAY,
A SPANISH CLASSIC
THE SPANISH WAY
AND A FLORIDA CLASSIC
THE FLORIDA WAY
THAT KEEP FOLKS COMING BACK
HERE FOR EVERYTHING
DONE CéSAR'S WAY.
WHEN YOU COME INTO KEEGAN'S,
YOU'RE IN INDIAN ROCKS BEACH.
WE EAT OUT A LOT.
THIS IS OUR TUESDAYS AND
THURSDAYS PLACE A LOT OF TIMES.
OH, YOU HAVE IT
MAPPED OUT LIKE THAT?
YEAH, I GOT IT DOWN
TO A SCIENCE.
SO IF ANYBODY WANTS
TO KNOCK YOU OFF,
THEY'LL KNOW WHERE TO FIND YOU
ON TUESDAYS AT 1:30, RIGHT?
YOU CAN FIND OUT
WHERE WE'RE AT.
I MEAN, JUST GO AHEAD
AND TALK. I'M JUST--
I THINK IT STARES AT ME.
IT'S BEGGING ME TO TRY MORE.
SO THAT'S IT FOR THIS TRIP,
BUT DON'T WORRY.
WE GOT PLENTY MORE PLACES
TO FIND.
I'LL SEE YA NEXT TIME ON
"DINERS, DRIVE-INS AND DIVES."
AS IT GOES THROUGH
THE BACK OF THE TONGUE,
DOWN THE ESOPHAGUS
AND, BOOM, RIGHT IN THE BELLY.
THANKS FOR GETTING
THE BELLY ON ME.
I APPRECIATE
THAT PART.