Diners, Drive-ins and Dives (2006–…): Season 2, Episode 12 - Burgers, Rings and Fries - full transcript

I'M GUY FIERI,
AND WE'RE ROLLING OUT,

HEADING FOR AMERICA'S GREATEST
DINERS, DRIVE-INS AND DIVES.

THIS TRIP...
MM-MMM.

BURGERS, RINGS AND FRIES--

THE MINNESOTA JOINT
WITH THE CHEESEBURGER CHOICE.

DUDE, I'M TELLIN' YA...
INSIDE...

LOOK AT ALL THAT CHEESE GOOIN' OUT OF HERE.
OUTSIDE...

YOU SCOOP UP THE CHEESE
WITH THE FRIES.

PUSH IT DOWN.
I ALSO PICK UP
THE VINEGAR FLAVOR.

IN SAN FRANCISCO, A PLACE
THAT'S DOING STEAK BURGERS

WHILE YOU WATCH.
YOU BLESS IT.



YOU BLESS IT?
YEAH!

AND ANYWAY YOU WANT.
TERIYAKI BURGER.

PIZZA BURGER.
PATTY MELT.

I GOT MINE WITH AN EGG.
AND THE MICHIGAN LEGEND...

GO BLUE, YEAH!
WHERE THEY'RE
STACKING THE SLIDERS

TEN TO A POUND.
ABSOLUTELY AWESOME.

SHE'S GOING FOR 21.
ARE YOU REALLY GONNA
BE ABLE TO DO 21?

OH, FOR SURE.
AND THEY'VE GOT ONION RINGS

THAT TAKE THREE DAYS
TO MAKE.
I'M HAVING, LIKE,
A CRUNCH FEST.

THAT'S ALL RIGHT HERE,
RIGHT NOW,

ON
"DINERS, DRIVE-INS AND DIVES."

Closed Captions provided
by Scripps Networks, LLC.

Captioned by
Closed Captioning Services, Inc.

ANYWHERE I GO
AROUND THE COUNTRY,



I REALLY LIKE TO GET MY HANDS
ON WHAT THE LOCALS LIKE TO EAT.

NOW UP HERE
IN MINNESOTA,

IT'S NOT FRIED PICKLES
OR CARNITAS,

IT'S WHAT THEY CALL
"STUFFED BURGERS,"

AND ONE OF THE BEST IS AT THIS
JOINT--THE NOOK IN ST. PAUL.

LOOK AT ALL THAT
CHEESE GOOIN' OUT OF HERE.

GOOIN' OUT.
IT'S THAT MELTED, GOOEY CHEESE INSIDE.

ALEXI, YOU'RE UP.

AND IT'S FANTASTIC,
AND IT'S HORRIBLY MESSY.

IT'S THE SPECIALTY
HERE AT THE NOOK.

THEY CALL IT
"THE JUICY NOOKIE."

SO HOW IS NOOKIE
AT LUNCH?

IT'S REALLY GOOD.
REALLY?

BUT THIS IS THE BEST ONE
I'VE EVER HAD.

AND THEY'VE BEEN DOING KILLER
BURGERS HERE FOR DECADES.

THIS PLACE WAS HERE SINCE...
1938, YEAH.

EWIN RTAURANT BIZ.

WE'VE BEEN WORKING
AT IT SINCE, WHAT, 14?

ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE UP!
BUT RUNNING THEIR OWN JOINT

WAS SOMETHIN' ELSE.

WHEN WE TOOK OVER THIS PLACE,
WE WERE 20 YEARS OLD.

I MEAN, WE WERE
REAL YOUNG.

AND SMART ENOUGH
TO ASK FOR HELP

FROM A FORMER OWNER FROM A FEW
YEARS BACK--MICKEY BROWNSON.

SHE KNEW OUR FATHERS.
WE HAD HER COME BACK

AND TEACH US
HOW SHE USED TO DO IT.
REALLY?
SMART THINKIN'.

AND THAT'S STILL
HOW THEY DO IT...

A BACON CHEESEBURGER.

SEVEN YEARS LATER.
ALEXI, YOU'RE UP!

WE CALL IT THE HOLY TRINITY
OF BURGERS.

WE HAVE FRESH BEEF,
VERY FRESH BUNS DAILY.
WE ORDER IT IN.

FRESH FRIES
THAT WE CUT.
FRESH, FRESH, FRESH.

SO THE JUICY NOOKIE--

IT'S CHEESE FOLDED IN HALF

AND YOU FOLD IT AROUND.
A LITTLE SEASONING.

AND THIS IS YOUR OWN
SECRET BLEND OF SPICES?

IT'S VERY SECRET.
PRETTY MUCH.

WITH SUCH PRECISION.

THEN WE POKE IT. YOU GOTTA
LET THE CHEESE COME OUT,

OTHERWISE IT'LL FIND
IT'S OWN WAY OUT.

SO IF YOU DON'T,
IT'LL HAVE A BLOWOUT.
YEP.

YOU DON'T EVER MAKE THE HAMSTER
NOISE WHEN YOU DO THAT?

LOOK AT THAT.

THAT IS JUICY.

DUDE, I'M TELLIN' YA,
THAT'S A TASTY BURGER.

IS THIS
THE NUMBER ONE SELLER?
THAT IS THE NUMBER ONE
SELLER, YEP.

BUT IT'S NOT THE ONLY ONE
WITH CHEESE ON THE INSIDE.

THIS ONE--
STUFFED WITH PEPPERED JACK.

NOW THAT LOOKS LIKE
A CHUNK OF CHEESE.

SQUEEZE.
IT'S A WORKOUT.

YOU READY?

OH, I'M IN IT
TO WIN IT, BABY.
OH, YEAH, BABY.

LOOK AT THAT THING.

OH, YEAH. DUDE...

A CHEESE EXPLOSION. MMM.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'LL SAY
I LIKE ABOUT THAT?
WHAT'S THAT?

EVERYTHING.
COOL.

BUT THE BUN
IS FANTASTIC.

UNBELIEVABLE, ISN'T IT?

AND WHY NOT?
SO WHICH WAY?

THEY'RE MAKING 'EM FRESH
RIGHT DOWN THE STREET.

WHOA.

LOOK AT THAT--AND THEN
A LITTLE EGG WASH BRUSH ON TOP?

THOSE LOOK FANTASTIC.

MMM. IT'S LIGHT.
DOES HAVE A LITTLE SWEETNESS.

WRAP THOSE TO GO.
NO PROBLEM.

THANK YOU.
THEY'LL SERVE MORE
THAN 1,000 EVERY WEEK--

A NEW BATCH FRESH-MADE DAILY,

JUST LIKE THEIR FRIES.
WE'LL CUT ABOUT 6
50-POUND BOXES A DAY.

300 POUNDS OF POTATOES?
A DAY.

PUSH IT DOWN. 5% EXTRA WORK
MAKES 100% DIFFERENCE.

AND CHECK OUT
THIS DIFFERENCE.
GIVE ABOUT THREE GLUGS.

THEY'RE SOAKING
THE CUT POTATOES

OVERNIGHT IN WATER
SPIKED WITH VINEGAR--

A TRICK PASSED DOWN
FROM THE FORMER OWNER.

AND WHY THE GLUGS
OF VINEGAR?
IT KEEPS
THE FRIES CRISP.

I JUST LIKE THAT YOU HAVE
THE SKIN ON 'EM.

THEY GOT A NICE
CRUNCH TO 'EM, NOT SUPER OILY.

I ALSO PICK UP
THE VINEGAR FLAVOR.

TASTY FRIES, MAN.
ALWAYS THE FRIES.
DEFINITELY THE FRIES,

BUT THE BURGERS ARE GREAT.
SCOOP UP THE CHEESE
WITH THE FRIES.

DELICIOUS.

AND IF YOU DON'T WANT YOUR
CHEESE IN THE MIDDLE,

WE GOT LOTS
OF OTHER OPTIONS.

THIS IS OUR
SMOKED CHEDDAR.
OH, I LIKE THAT.

I LIKE THE LITTLE
CRUST ON THAT. LOOKS GOOD.

NOW FRESH-COOKED
BACON--

AND WHAT I LIKE IS THAT YOU'RE
COOKING IT ON THE FLAT TOP,

SO YOU'RE GETTING
A LITTLE BIT OF THAT--

EVERY MORNING WE COOK BACON
ON THE GRIDDLE TO GET IT READY.

JUST KINDA SEASON THE GRILL?
NOW WHAT IS THAT MAYO?

CHIPOTLE MAYO.
WOW, LOOK AT YOU GOING.

NICE, BIG, THICK BACON.
LETTUCE, TOMATO.

WOW.
THAT IS A TON OF FLAVOR.

THAT'S JUST A REALLY GOOD

ALL-AMERICAN
BACON CHEESEBURGER.

AND CHECK OUT THIS ALL-AMERICAN
DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER

TOPPED WITH PEPPER JACK.
LOT OF PEPPER.

NOW WE PUT THE CHEESE
ON THE BOTTOM OF OUR BURGERS,

UNLIKE MOST PLACES, 'CAUSE
THAT'S WHERE THE TASTE BUDS ARE.

'CAUSE WE'RE
CRAZY LIKE THAT.
IT'S, LIKE,
THE QUARTER TURN.

NO, IT'S WHAT MICKEY
TAUGHT US.

SHE SAID WE HAD TO DO IT,
AND WE JUST KEPT DOING IT.

I MEAN, THAT IS ABOUT
AS PICTURE-PERFECT--

NOT A LOT OF FAST-FOOD JOINTS
AROUND HERE

ARE STILL IN BUSINESS
WITH YOU TWO.
AND IF THAT'S NOT ENOUGH,

CHANGE THE CHEESE TO AMERICAN,
THROW ON SOME MORE BUN,

AND YOU'VE GOT
A NOOKIE SUPREME.

LITTLE SAUCE...
AND THE KNIFE.

LOOK AT THAT THING.

YEAH, THE TRICK IS
NO, NOTHING.T IT DOWN.
YOU LOOK GREAT.
DO I HAVE AN
GOOD.

I--HONESTLY,
I LIKED 'EM ALL.

I THINK THE JUICY NOOKIE
IS MY FAVORITE

BECAUSE OF THE CHEESE
INSIDE.

I DON'T THINK IT'S JUST
FOR BREAKFAST ANYMORE EITHER.
IT'S COMIN' UP.

NOW HAVE YOU BEEN
COMING HERE FOR A WHILE?

JUST NOD TO YOUR QUESTIONS.
UM-HMM.

FOR FIVE YEARS?
FIVE MONTHS? FIVE DAYS?

YEARS? FIVE YEARS.

WE LOVE IT BECAUSE
IT'S A NEIGHBORHOOD PLACE,

AND IT'S NOT A CHAIN,
AND THE FOOD'S AWESOME.

ALL RIGHT.
HOLE-IN-THE-WALL
ATMOSPHERE.

AND THE YOUNG GUYS
THAT KINDA OPENED IT UP.

YOU'D LIKE TO SEE
SUPPORTING THEM.
YEAH.

WERE YOU GUYS BEST BUDDIES
BEFORE THIS STARTED?

OLDEST BUDDIES. THERE'S
A PICTURE OF US IN OUR DIAPERS.

AND JUST A FEW YEARS LATER,
THEY'RE STILL SIDE BY SIDE.

ARE YOU GUYS STILL
AS TIGHT AS YOU WERE?

I THINK WE'RE
TIGHTER ACTUALLY.
REALLY?

WE BUTT HEADS I THINK FOR
THE FIRST COUPLE OF YEARS.

FIRST COUPLE YEARS,
HE COULDN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT.

I FINALLY TRAINED HIM IN,
SO NOW WE'RE DOING ALL RIGHT.

LOVE TO WORK...
GINA, YOU'RE UP!

THESE DAYS THEY'RE CRANKING OUT
THE JUICY NOOKIES...

IT'S JUST ALL-AROUND
DELICIOUS.
DOUBLE-DECKER BURGERS

AND THE HOME-CUT FRIES.
ALEXI, YOU'RE UP!

JUICY, NO ONION.
AND THE JOINT'S AS BUSY
AS IT'S BEEN

IN ALMOST 70 YEARS.

FOLLOW THE COIN...

WHERE'S MY WALLET?

UP NEXT, WE'RE HEADING
TO SAN FRAN,

WHERE THEY'RE DEAD SERIOUS
ABOUT BURGERS FROM SCRATCH.

IF I DON'T EAT IT,
I WON'T SERVE IT.

ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL,
BUT NOT ALL BURGERS,

AND THIS BRINGS US
TO JOE'S CABLE CAR

IN SAN FRANCISCO, AT THE CORNER
OF SILVER AND MISSION,

WHERE THIS DUDE'S BEEN KNOCKING
IT OUT OF THE PARK

FOR OVER 40 YEARS WITH SOMETHING
YOU AND I WOULD CALL A BURGER,

BUT HE INSISTS IT'S FRESH
GROUND STEAK.

I MEAN, LOOK AT IT. IT'S
JUICY. IT MELTS IN YOUR MOUTH.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
YOU GOTTA EAT IT.

IT HAS A UNIQUE TASTE.
IT WAS GREAT.

EVERYTHING WAS FRESH.
BIG, THICK AND JUICY,

TOPPED WITH
JUST ABOUT ANYTHING.

I GOT MINE WITH AN EGG.
IT'S GREAT.
THERE'S REALLY GOOD
VARIETY HERE.

THE BEST BURGER I THINK
I'VE EVER TASTED.

MUSHROOMS
AND SWISS CHEESE.
THEY'VE GOT 11
DIFFERENT CHEESES,

3 DIFFERENT SIZES--
A 4-OUNCE,

A 6-OUNCE AND A RIGHTEOUS
8-OUNCE.

YOU GONNA BE ABLE
TO FINISH ALL THAT?
I DON'T KNOW.

IF YOU DON'T, CALL ME.
I'LL COME BACK.
I'M STUFFED.

THIS IS THE BEST BURGER
IN SAN FRANCISCO.

AND IT'S THIS GUY'S PASSION.

I KNOW WHAT THE BURGER
IS MADE OF.
LOOK AT THAT THING.

I GOT A PATTY MELT.
ARMENIAN NATIVE
JOE OBEGI

CAME TO AMERICA IN '62,
AND EVER SINCE,

HE'S BEEN MAKING
THE ALL-AMERICAN BURGER.

BASICALLY, IF I DON'T EAT IT,
I WON'T SERVE IT.

HE BOUGHT THE PLACE 42 YEARS
AGO, AND HE'S HERE SO MUCH,

IT FEELS LIKE HOME.
YOU'RE WELCOME.

THE NEON, THE LIGHTS--IT'S LIKE,
"WELCOME TO LITTLE VEGAS."

WHAT IS THE THEME?
JUST MAKE IT CHEERFUL.

OH, IT IS CHEERFUL.
CHEERS ME UP
EVERY DAY.

HOLY NEON-O-RAMA.

"WELCOME TO JOE'S."
"WELCOME TO JOE'S
ADDICTIVE BURGERS."

NOW ARE YOU ALWAYS
IN THE DINING ROOM DOING THIS--

WALKING AROUND,
TALKING TO PEOPLE?
SIX DAYS A WEEK.

SIX DAYS A WEEK?
SIX, SEVEN DAYS, YEAH.

THE CALIFORNIA. AND HOW
WOULD YOU LIKE IT COOKED?

TODAY I HAD
THE TERIYAKI BURGER.
I GOT THE PIZZA BURGER.

I GOT A PATTY MELT.
THEY'RE AMAZING.
I DO NOT
ADD ANYTHING.

I TAKE IT THE WAY
JOE SERVES IT.
CHEDDAR,
CHEDDAR, CHEDDAR.

IT'S JUST A REALLY
DELICIOUS BURGER.

EVERYBODY HAPPY?
THE MEAT
IS THE STAR.

AND TO MAKE IT RIGHT,
HE INSISTS

IT'S ALL ABOUT CUTTING IT
FRESH--TOP-GRADE CHOICE BEEF.

I DON'T LIKE TO USE
THE WORD "BURGER,"

BECAUSE THEN IT MESSES
EVERYBODY'S BRAIN.

IT'S JUICY.
REAL GROUND BEEF.

AND IT'S TRIMMED
AND GROUND FRESH EVERY DAY,

- RIGHT IN THE RESTAURANT.
- SEEING THAT GUY OVER THERE

WITH THAT LITTLE HOOK
AND THAT KNIFE,

JUST CARVING,

AND THEN IT GOES
RIGHT INTO THAT GRINDER

AND PLOPS RIGHT
ONTO THAT GRILL.

THEY'RE ALL CHUCK ROLLS.
THEY'RE ALL CHUCK ROLLS.

READY?
GO.

WHAT FAT RATIO ARE WE
TRYING TO GET--FAT TO MEAT?

BY THE TIME WE COOK IT,
YOU END UP WITH 6% TO 8% FAT.

SO YOU'RE GETTING--

CONTRARY TO THE BELIEF
THAT 80-20

IS THE PREMIUM GRIND
FOR A BURGER--

BUT IF YOU'RE USING
THE BEST MEAT,

THEN YOU DON'T HAVE
TO WORRY ABOUT THAT FAT.
NO.

OKAY, WELL,
LET'S GRIND.

WHEN WE LOOK INSIDE THIS,
WE REALLY GET MEAT.

WE GET ACTUAL
CHEWABLE PIECES OF MEAT,

NOT MASHED AND PROCESSED.
I MEAN, YOU ACTUALLY--

AND THAT'S WHY
IT'S A STEAK BURGER,

BECAUSE IT'S ACTUALLY GOT
TEXTURE--MEAT TEXTURE TO IT.

AND WHEN YOU BITE INTO IT,
YOU HAVE MORE FLAVOR,

MORE JUICE.
THE MEAT HAD FLAVOR.

IT WAS SO FRESH.

IT DOESN'T TASTE LIKE YOU WONDER
WHAT ELSE IS IN IT.

SO WHERE'S
THE PATTY MACHINE?
THAT'S THE PATTY MACHINE.

YOU'RE THE PATTY MACHINE.
LET ME SEE THAT THING.
YEAH, OH.

WOW.
NOW THE MAGIC STARTS.

THIS IS WHEN
THE MAGIC HAPPENS?
YEAH.

SO THAT'S HOW IT GETS MADE.
WOW, THAT'S A LOT OF MEAT.

WE GOTTA FLATTEN THIS,
RIGHT?
YEAH.

PRESS IT DOWN?

SHAPE IT UP.
THAT'S IT--JUST GIVE
IT A LITTLE LOVE?

YEAH, AND THEN--
WANT ME TO PRESS
IT AGAIN?

WHEN YOU GO LIKE THAT,
THEN...

SO IT GETS IT
TIGHT TOGETHER.
AND NOW
JUST PICK IT UP?

THE WAX PAPER'S NOT EVEN BIG
ENOUGH, JOE.

SECOND TIME IS WHEN I GIVE IT
THE BIG SMACKDOWN.

YEAH, YOU PUT IT DOWN,
AND...

DID YOU DO THIS GAME?

ALL WE DO IS SALT...

WHAT DO WE DO NOW, SING?
YOU SING,
YOU BLESS IT.

YOU BLESS IT?
YEAH!

MOST PEOPLE GO LIKE THIS--
OH, BLESS.

I THINK THAT'S JUST WHEN THEY'RE
TRYING TO KEEP THEIR HANDS WARM.

JOE, I'M READY
TO FLIP WHEN YOU ARE.
YEAH, OKAY.

WATCH THIS.

- DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME.
- DON'T TRY IT.

OH.

THAT'S BANANAS.
BANANAS IS GOOD.

LOOK AT ALL THE JUICE.

CRISPY BACON.

LITTLE BIT OF THAT
BITE FROM THAT ONION.

I LIKE THE TERIYAKI.
THAT'S A LOT OF AVOCADO.

ANYTHING I'D DO
WITH PIZZA SAUCE.

NUMBER ONE...

NUMBER TWO--

THE JOE.
THE ONIONS INSIDE.

NUMBER THREE--
THE PATTY MELT.
PATTY MELT?

OR MAYBE ONE, TWO, THREE.
YEAH, THESE ARE MY TOP THREE.

OKAY, I'M GONNA
GO TAKE A NAP.
ALL RIGHT, LET ME
GET YOU YOUR BLANKET.

PLEASE. RIGHT HERE.
YEAH.

WHAT IS THE NUMBER ONE
SELLER?
THE BASIC ONE.

NEXT IS THE BACON BURGER,
THEN MUSHROOM,

PATTY MELT AND AVOCADO.

THROW IN ALL THE OTHERS,

AND JOE SELLS
UP TO 2,000 BURGERS A WEEK.

PATTY MELT, NO ONION.

REALLY DELICIOUS BURGER.
IT'S SO FRESH.
EVERYTHING WAS SO FRESH.

YOU WALKED IN, AND YOU SEE
THERE'S HISTORY, AND YOU SAY,

"IF IT'S SURVIVED THIS LONG..."
THAT'S IT.
THAT'S WHAT I LOVE TO HEAR,

'CAUSE IF IT HAS BEEN
HERE THIS LONG,

YOU KNOW THAT PEOPLE HAVE BEEN
COMING HERE FOR A REASON.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.
YOU WANT IT TODAY?
RIGHT AWAY.

THEY TELL ME, YOU KNOW,

"JOE, ARE YOU GONNA RETIRE?
WHEN ARE YOU GONNA RETIRE?"

AND...
WHAT DO I DO?

I'M GONNA GO CRAZY,
BECAUSE THIS IS MY SOCIAL LIFE.

SO HE'LL BE HERE...
HOW FAR CAN YOU GET
YOUR ARM DOWN THERE?

GRINDIN' OUT SOME OF THE BEST
BURGERS ON THE BAY,

AND DOING IT THE SAME WAY
HE ALWAYS HAS

FOR 42 YEARS.
WHY DO YOU DO IT?

I REALLY ENJOY SEEING
THE SMILE OF EVERY BITE.

THANK YOU.
YOU'RE WELCOME.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.
HAVE A NICE DAY.
THANK YOU.

COMING UP, A MICHIGAN JOINT
WHERE THEY'RE LINING UP

AND STACKING UP...
THAT IS ONE
JUICY-LOOKING BURGER.

BUT YOU BETTER
KNOW HOW TO ORDER.

I WANT A HAMBURGER WITH
BACON, LETTUCE AND TOMATO.
NO!

YOU WANT A DOUBLE WITH BACON
ON IT, OKAY? THERE YOU GO.

SO WHEN I'M CRUISING THE QUAD
AT THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN

IN MY MAC '67 CAMARO,
A QUESTION COMES TO MIND--

WHERE SHOULD I EAT?

NOW IF YOU ASK ANYBODY IN
THE STUDENT BODY WHERE TO GO

FOR THE BOMB BURGER,
THEY'RE GONNA SAY,

"KRAZY JIM'S BLIMPY BURGER."

REGULAR BUN, REGULAR BUN.

WHAT YOU HAVIN',
GIRLFRIEND?
I NEED TWO DOUBLES.

IT'S THE BEST BURGER
YOU CAN GET. MMM.
IT JUST TASTES BETTER
THAN ANYTHING ELSE.

WHO'S NEXT?
YOU LOVE THE BLIMPY, DON'T YOU?

WHAT DO YOU WANT?
I WANT A BACON,
LETTUCE AND TOMATO.

A B-L-WHAT?
AT THIS JOINT,
YOU MAY KNOW WHAT YOU WANT...

NO, LIKE, I WANT A HAMBURGER
WITH BACON, LETTUCE AND TOMATO.
NO, NO!

BUT YOU BETTER KNOW
HOW TO SAY IT.
YOU WANT A DOUBLE
WITH BACON ON IT, OKAY?

THAT'S WHAT I WANT.
THERE YOU GO.

THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT.
AND YOU'VE GOTTA ORDER
IN ORDER.

WHAT ARE YOU HAVIN', SIR?
SIDES THEN SIDES...

HOW MANY PATTIES
DID YOU SAY YOU WANTED?
THEN GRILLED TOPPINGS
AND BUN...

YOU HAVE NOTHING
GRILLED ON YOURS, SIR?
NO.

WHY NOT?
BEFORE YOU EVEN THINK
ABOUT CHOOSING YOUR CHEESE.

AMERICAN.
WHAT I WANT TO KNOW
IS DO YOU WANT A BUN?

THAT'S REAL
IMPORTANT TO ME.
GOD, I'M NERVOUS FOR YOU!

I KNOW!
I'M ABOUT READY TO HAVE
A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN,

AND WE'VE ONLY MADE
TWO PATTIES.

GO, BLUE!
YEAH!

DAVEE ASKEW'S
BEEN DOING THIS FOREVER...
I JUST LOVE THIS JOB.

I'M--I GOT YOU.
I GOT YOU, BABY.

HOW LONG
YOU BEEN DOING THIS?
UH, I WAS 14 WHEN
I STARTED WORKING HERE.

ALONGSIDE RICH MAGNER...
WHAT DO YOU WANT
ON YOUR BURGER?

WHO WAS A COLLEGE KID
AT THE TIME.

I WORKED PART-TIME OFF AND ON
FOR FOUR YEARS.

WHEN RICH CAME BACK
AND BOUGHT THE PLACE

MORE THAN TWO DECADES LATER,
HE CHANGED ALMOST NOTHING...

YES!
FROM ORDERING ETIQUETTE...

ANYTHING GRILLED?
NO, MA'AM.
THANK YOU.

IT'S NOT THE MILITARY.
"YES, SIR," "NO, MA'AM."

TO THE BURGERS THEMSELVES...
SINGLE ON REGULAR.

FROM SINGLES
TO A STACK OF FIVE...

OR ANY SIZE YOU WANT.

CAN I GET TEN
ON A KAISER?
YOU GO, BABY!

WITH ALMOST 30 TOPPINGS,
CHEESES AND BUNS

TO CHOOSE FROM...
WHAT ARE YOU HAVING
ON THIS?

THE POSSIBILITIES
WILL FRY YOUR BRAIN.

I GOT A QUAD
ON ONION WITH BACON.
A TRIPLE WITH BACON,
BANANA PEPPERS.

DOUBLE ON ONION,
SWISS CHEESE,

BANANA PEPPERS,
PICKLES AND KETCHUP.

ANYTHING EXTRA
WHEN I'M COOKIN' IT?
NO, THANK YOU.

GOOD. I DON'T WANT
TO DO IT ANYWAY.

AND DON'T BE FOOLED
BY THE FLOOR SHOW...
LEAN BACK, HEY!

THESE ARE
THE REAL-DEAL BURGERS.
OUTSTANDING.

ABSOLUTELY AWESOME.

THE REAL FOUNDATION
YOU BELIEVE OF THIS MEAT

- IS IT'S FRESH GROUND BY YOU EVERY DAY?
- YEAH.

WE'RE GONNA DOUBLE-GRIND.
OKAY.

NEVER BEEN FROZEN.
NOW WE'RE GONNA MAKE 'EM
INTO THE TEN BALLS

PER POUND, WHICH IS
1.6 OUNCES A BALL.

THAT'S RIGHT.
IT'S 8 OUNCES FOR 5,

WHICH IS 16 OUNCES FOR 10.

THAT'S 2 TONS A MONTH--SOME
ARE QUINTS, SOME ARE DOUBLES.

OKAY, WHAT KIND OF
BURGER WOULD YOU LIKE?
CAN I GET A DOUBLE

WITH HOT PEPPERS, ONIONS,
ON PUMPERNICKEL?

I NEED A TRIPLE,
BACON, SESAME BUN.

SHE HAS NO IDEA
WHAT'S COMIN'.

CAN I GET A QUINT,
ONIONS, PEPPERS,

BACON, SALAMI
AND MUSHROOMS?
YES!

IF I FORGET IT,
YOU JUST EAT IT.

LOOK AT THAT.

MAYONNAISE, MUSTARD,
KETCHUP, LETTUCE, PICKLE,

ONION AND RELISH.
THERE YOU GO.

BABY BURGER, MOMMY BURGER,

GO TO THE HOSPITAL BURGER.

GONNA START WITH THE LITTLE ONE, HUH?
MMM.

THAT MEAT

IS SO TENDER.

WOW, THAT'S TASTY.

WITH THE CHEDDAR
AND THE PEPPERS.

THE BEAUTY IS LAYERING IT.

YOU GET ALL YOUR FLAVORS
MINGLING JUST THE RIGHT WAY.

I DON'T KNOW WHERE
TO POST UP ON THIS THING.

MMM. MM-MMM.

LOOK AT THE FESTIVAL
OF FUNK.

SO MUCH SALAMI.

CALL MY MOMMY.

THAT'S ONE OF OUR
BIGGEST EXPENSES

IS THE NAPKINS.
AND FOR SOME FOLKS,
EVEN THESE BURGERS

ARE BETTER WITH
SOMETHING FRIED ON THE SIDE.

YOU HAVE TO GET FRIES
TO GO WITH YOUR BURGER,

JUST TO TOP IT OFF.
THEY'VE GOT
DEEP-FRIED MUSHROOMS...

DELICIOUS.
CAULIFLOWER, BROCCOLI
AND ZUCCHINI.

THE ZUCCHINI IS ONE
OF MY FAVORITES.

AND THE ONION RINGS?
THESE ARE THE BEST
ONION RINGS IN THE WORLD.

THEY TAKE THREE DAYS TO MAKE...

OH, BEAUTY,
BEAUTY, BEAUTY.

THE FIRST TWO
JUST TO DRY 'EM OUT,

SO THE BATTER WILL STICK
THE WAY IT SHOULD.
THE FIRST DAY
THE ONION COMES IN,

AND IT GETS THE SKIN
TAKEN OFF IT, THE ENDS CUT OFF,

AND IT GETS THROWN IN A TUB
AND REFRIGERATED FOR A DAY.

SECOND DAY, IT GETS SLICED,
PUT BACK IN THE BINS.

ON THE THIRD DAY...
DIPPED IN THE BATTER

AND THEN THROWN INTO BREADING

AND TAKEN OUT ON THE LINE
AND SERVED THAT DAY.

SO I GUESS THIS SWEATING
OF THE ONION IDEA

IS WHEN YOU COOK IT,
THE MOISTURE WOULD WANT

TO EXPEL OUT OF THE ONION,
WHICH WOULD BLOW THE BATTER OFF.
EXACTLY.

MAN, I CANNOT BELIEVE HOW THAT
BATTER HOLDS ONTO THOSE RINGS.

I'M HAVIN', LIKE,
A CRUNCH FEST.

THESE ONION RINGS,
REALLY...

ARE UP THERE
IN ONION RINGS.

THANK YOU.
I MEAN, YOU GUYS
SHOULD BE PROUD OF THOSE.

BUT AS GOOD AS THEIR RINGS ARE,

THE BIG SHOW
IS STILL THE BURGERS.
DELICIOUS AND MESSY.

LET'S SEE. THERE'S THE SINGLE,
THE DOUBLE,

THE TRIPLE, THE QUAD
AND THE QUINT.

BUT WHY STOP AT FIVE?
TEN PATTIES?

YEP. MUSHROOMS, ONION,
SWISS CHEESE.

I'LL JUST KEEP MY HANDS AND FEET
INSIDE THE RIDE AT ALL TIMES.

TURNS OUT THERE'S A WHOLE
COMPETITION THING GOING ON.

WHAT'S THE MOST YOU'VE DONE?

UM, TEN IN SEVEN MINUTES,

AND SOME FRENCH FRIES
AND DESSERT.

BUT TODAY FOR HER 21st
BIRTHDAY,

LAUREN LOBERT'S GOING
FOR 21 BURGERS.

ARE YOU REALLY GONNA
BE ABLE TO DO 21?
OH, FOR SURE.

WE'LL SEE IF SHE MAKES IT,
WHEN WE COME BACK.
WOW.

SHE STARTS OFF WITH A BIG BITE
AND PICKS UP THE DROPPINGS.

THAT DIDN'T SOUND RIGHT.

KRAZY JIM'S BLIMPY BURGER

BY THE CAMPUS OF THE UNIVERSITY
OF MICHIGAN...

GO BLUE!
YEAH!

HAS BEEN CRANKIN' OUT
THEIR OWN KIND OF BURGER

FOR MORE THAN 50 YEARS.
YOU DON'T COME TO
THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN

WITHOUT COMING TO BLIMPY'S.
NEXT.

AND YOU BETTER BE READY
TO PACK 'EM AWAY.

TRIPLE WITH BACON, EGGS,
CHEESE, GRILLED ONIONS.

DOUBLE WITH FRIED ONIONS, BLACK
OLIVES, TOMATO AND KETCHUP.

WE JUST NEED SOME TENDER LOVE
ON THEM BURGERS.
THERE YOU GO.

THE BIGGEST ONE I EVER GOT
WAS A QUAD.
I USUALLY GET
A QUAD OR A QUINT.

WE DON'T PROMOTE THIS...
NO, NO, NO.

BUT THE RECORD STANDS
AT A LITTLE OVER 4 POUNDS.

I SAW THAT THERE WAS A RECORD
STANDING FOR CLOSE TO A DECADE,

AND I SAID TO MYSELF,
YOU KNOW WHAT?

ONE OF THESE DAYS,
I'M GONNA BREAK THAT,

AND FIVE YEARS LATER,
I DID IT.

THAT WAS 40 BURGERS, AND NO
ONE'S BREAKING THAT TODAY,

BUT RECORDS
ARE STILL AT RISK.

THERE'S A DOUBLE SNACK BITE
WITH THE PULLAWAY CHEESE.

DAVE WILLIAMS IS GOING
FOR A PERSONAL BEST OF 20.
HOW YOU FEELING
RIGHT NOW?

HUNGRY.
HUNGRY? YOU'RE HUNGRY.

- GET THE FOREHEAD.
- NEED A PIT CREW IN HERE.

SOME GIRL SHOWED UP
RIGHT HERE ON HER 21st BIRTHDAY.

IT LOOKS LIKE SHE WANTS
TO GO FOR 21.

AND LAUREN LOBERT
IS SERIOUS.

I'M A HOCKEY PLAYER,
AND I'M AN EATER.

I'M DOING THREE SEVENS.
THREE SEVENS?

YEAH--7, 14, 21.
I THINK
I'M IN LOVE.

WOW, SHE STARTS OFF WITH A BIG
BITE AND PICKS UP THE DROPPINGS.

I'LL BELIEVE IT
WHEN I SEE IT.
"I'LL BELIEVE IT
WHEN I SEE IT."

THAT IS ONE JUICY-LOOKING
BURGER, THOUGH.
DELICIOUS.

IT'S HARD WORK.
NO, IT IS.

I TOLD HIM YOU JUST
ORDERED ANOTHER SEVEN.

NOW THIS IS KIND OF LIKE
THE TOP OF THE NINTH.

BASES ARE LOADED.

DAVE,
DAVE, DAVE, DAVE, DAVE!

ROUND OF APPLAUSE!
20 PATTIES.

HE GOT HIS 20,

BUT SHE'S STILL CHASING 21.

THE LIGHTS ARE HOT.
THE MEAT IS HOT.

YOU'RE JUST MAKING IT
LOOK GOOD.

I MAKE EVERYTHING
LOOK GOOD. PLEASE.
OW!

SHAKIN' IT DOWN.

SHE'S AN ATHLETE.
SHE'LL BURN THIS OFF TODAY.

WE HAVE HOCKEY
PRACTICE TONIGHT.
YOU HAVE HOCKEY
PRACTICE TONIGHT?

7:30.

I'M JUST GONNA TELL MY COACH
I HAVE THE FLU OR SOMETHING.
THE FLU.
I SEE THE END IS NEAR.

YEAH.
YOU GOT IT.
DO IT, DO IT.

THIS IS THE BITE THAT'S
GONNA BEAT THAT GUY.
LAUREN,
LAUREN, LAUREN, LAUREN!

OKAY, THAT'S IT!

AM I CATCHING SOME
EYE WATER OVER HERE?

OW!
I'M CRYING BECAUSE
I'M SO HAPPY.

DON'T LEAVE ME HANGIN'.

RIP,
BUT DON'T WORRY,

I'LL BE LOOKIN' FOR YA

AT AMERICA'S GREATEST
DINERS, DRIVE-INS AND DIVES.

THIS JUST--
THESE GUYS' PERSONALITY--

"SORRY! WE'RE OPEN."

OH, OH!