Dimension 20 (2018-…): Season 19, Episode 6 - Case Closed - full transcript

The PIs race towards Oblongata Station to save Elias Hodge once and for all.

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(cool opening noir music)

- Hello, one and all!

Welcome to another thrilling episode

of Dimension 20: Mentopolis!

I'm your humble GM, Brennan Lee Mulligan.

With me as always are our Prefrontal PIs.

Say hi, Prefrontal PIs.

- [Everyone] Hi, Prefrontal PIs.

- Oh my goodness, welcome one and all

to the finale of Mentopolis.

Last we left off,
(fun energetic music)

we started in the shop of Thalamus & Sons

where we met Mr. Thalamus,
the pawn shop owner

who told us all about the copper
gun and buckshot ammunition

that he had sold to one Norrell Ojiccle,

who we discovered, in all likelihood,

had not been shot with the gun

but had actually shot the gun himself

to potentially save
this city from a villain

with a gleaming white
key made of a frequency

from a far-off psychometer
aimed and directed

at the big guy himself, Elias Hodge.

Norrell's last heroic act bought the time

that was needed for this
conspiracy to be discovered...

by our Prefrontal PIs themselves

who have all now come together

to converge on Oblongata Station.

After splitting up, an
incredible oral argument

from Anastasia Tension saw
emergency powers granted

to one Daniel Fucks, impresario
of Sugah's speakeasy.

In additional to also some quick thinking

and courtroom dramatics,

Anastasia also saw the
District Attorney Mark Bition

arrested and imprisoned
(Freddie laughing)

in the middle of his own trial!

- [Freddie] It wasn't even a trial.

- [Hank] No.
- Just a regular petition

for like, basic-

- Yeah, he went in there fully
expecting to control the city

and left in handcuffs.
(players laughing)

- 100%, and also, he was put in jail

for having a check from
a guy who was also there

that nothing bad happened to.
(players laughing)

- And the crime was like, it's like,

oh, you're consorting with criminals,

but you, Dan Fucks, a criminal,

are granted emergency
powers to control the city.

- Also it was just a check.

It's not like a receipt of deposit.

It was just like, oh, no, no, no,

he hasn't even deposited it yet.

- It's just a check. Well-

- The system is working

- The system is working!

- Judge Connie Fusion's rulings
are not always the clearest,

but goddamn it, the system
works if you work it.

(Danielle laughing)

So, both of you were taken into one

of the black gangster's town cars

that had been traveling
around the city after you

as Don Avaricci made you a
temptation you couldn't refuse.

Dan Fucks and Anastasia Tension ended up

at the Châteaux Appetit,
but at Cerebell Pacific,

we found Imelda Pulse and
Ivana Popov storming the gate

to find the fixed switchboard,

but the keyhole being kept
in the arms of one H. V.,

that's right, Hyper Vigi Lance

who ended up having the most to date

kind of Dashiell Hammett

Thin Man-ian back and forth
repartee that we've had thus far

and ended up becoming so confused

by kind of the 1930s banter that he just

kissed and fell in love with
the femme fatale, Imelda Pulse,

putting the keyhole back
into the switchboard,

allowing Imelda to turn the
key and tell the big guy

to grab those papers once more.

You had sent Frank Freeze off

with a sort of lower stakes command

which was to change out
of his shitty pants,

which presumably he has also now done.

So two big accomplishments

after crashing through the window.

- Not even presumably.

We know 'cause the pressure
went down for a little bit

after he changed his pants.

- Oh yes, we do know that.
(players laughing)

Got out of my shitty
pants. So change of pants.

Stolen the world-altering documents.

Two big accomplishments. We're
gonna take both those Ws.

We also discovered that Loathing

was none other than Self Loathing,

and that Hunch was watching
(tense music)

as Justin Fication

had a white key of a mind
control ray jammed into his chest

and was momentarily turned
to work for this conspiracy

that seeks the end of the will
and mind of one Elias Hodge.

However, an incredible display of bravery

as Hunch grabs some copper
pipe off of the wall,

broke one of the arms of Madam Loathing

who got the one piece of
information she needed

from her enthralled pooch
and left out the window,

presumably headed with
the mind control key

to Oblongata Station where a

check and mate stands
as ever quite possible.

However, The Fix and
Hunch lept onto the body

of a now massive and
terrifying Justin Fication

and wrapping copper around
him, got him down to the ground

as he snarled and spit
and hurled invective

at his best friend, Conrad Schintz.

Conrad, reaching behind
for a piece of copper,

feeling a different sort of metal,

the steel of an ice skate that transformed

into a brand-new, one-of-a-kind key,

plunging it into the chest of Justin

and restoring your old faithful friend.

Our final confrontation
before Oblongata Station

occurred at Châteaux
Appetit as Don Avaricci

offered everything you
could ever want and more

to one Daniel Fucks.

All standing in your way was
the head of Conrad Schintz,

while Anastasia, with
some careful and quick

and clever work got her hands on the key

of Fanny Fawnsworth, AKA the fawn reflex,

and chased down the actual Stacy Fakename.

(players laughing)

The brain's flight
instinct and atop the roof

near the highway overpass you and Flight

got in a car and flew.

Folks, we return to Mentopolis
and Oblongata station.

- There was a memory, a book, an old book

with a bunch of notes.
- [Trapp] Yes.

- After Conrad turned the
blade of the ice skates

into a silver key that
you now have with you,

the shoes themselves transformed
into an old dog-eared copy,

the original memory of this event

from the memory bank itself.

- I didn't catch that
that's what that was.

- [Brennan] Oh, no worries, yeah.
- Okay.

The ice skates were themselves
an emblem of a memory,

and you, having basically
taken that powerful substance

from them, they turned back
into what had been originally

checked out of the Ammon's
Horn Memorial Memory Library

or Memory Bank back at The Hippo Campus.

- Yeah, well now it sounds
pretty self-evident.

(players laughing)

- Well, when you say it like that.

- Listen, I speak in this tone of voice

'cause I'm making up
so much crazy bullshit

that if you don't say it like,

(obviously) well, of course,

then people will begin to catch wise

that it's all very invented.

So, all of you converge
on Oblongata Station.

Anastasia and Stacy
Fakename in Stacy's car.

Imelda with Ivana and Lance
coming from Cerebell Pacific.

Hunch, Conrad, Justin, and The Fix

in still the stolen car
of the boxer Self Doubt

that you've been driving
around since the boxing match.

- (laughs) I'm glad,

I'm glad Ms. Loathing didn't recognize

we're driving her brother's car around.

(players laughing)

- The vanity license plate

was facing the other way.
(players laughing)

- Holy shit, is my brother here?

(players laughing)

And Dan Fucks rides in the
back with Don Avaricci,

setting up a trap for one Conrad Schintz.

We return to Oblongata Station.
Yes, Hank, you're holding-

- Oh no, sorry you said
we're gonna do a sneak checks

so I was holding it this whole time.

- Everyone go ahead and
give me a sneak check.

(dice rolling satisfyingly)

- Oh my god, okay.

- [Danielle] You're a spinny boy.

- [Trapp] A spinny boy.

- Three.
- Two.

- Nine.

- So Imelda got a nine. Did
anyone get a six or higher?

- Got a six.
- I got a seven.

- [Brennan] Okay, so it's
gonna go Imelda here first

and then Stacy and Anastasia.

And then it'll be Conrad and
then Dan pulling up the rear.

Dan Fucks pulling up the
rear. So Imelda, oh, sorry...

- I got a four.

- Oh, we're gonna go with the highest roll

from your car.
- Oh, got it.

- [Brennan] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- For the car, got it.

- So first things first,

a taxi cab pulls up

to Oblongata Station.
(car driving quickly)

It is the wee hours
(car pulls up quickly)

of the morning.

The rain (mimics rain pouring)
falls from the storm above,

and I think as you are pulling up here

you can feel the tension,
(slow noir music)

the storm- (mimics thunder
crashing) The storm in the air,

those busy rail yards, and you look out.

All the trains have been
pulled off the station.

All of the platforms now lie empty.

You don't even see a train
to sort of jump away on here.

But you, Ivana, and Lance all
jump out at the same time.

What do you do as you jump out of the cab?

- I say, Lance, you're
gonna have to play lookout.

- (extremely pumped) Yes!

And you see...

(players laughing)

You see Lance says, I got
ya, toots. Hey... (panting)

- You have to take my last
name. You know that, right?

(Brennan laughing)

Hyper Vigi Pulse.
(players laughing)

- I think you can get something for that.

You see he runs off.
(players laughing)

And he runs off.

He says, I'll be up on the clock tower

on top of the rail yard!

And you see he jumps up there.

And as he does so, you see that
he takes a shot of something

and his eyes, like, bug
out hugely in his head

and he's like, there
are threats everywhere!

And just goes up into this bell tower.

- Does it for me. It just
does it for me, I don't know.

- Those bug eyes.

- In my head, I see him as kind of like,

I think he's very
handsome, but he does look

in that kind of Peter Lorre way of like-

- [Freddie] Oh, yeah, yeah.
- Very distinctive.

Like, he got those intense peepers.

- Ugly handsome, like one way you're like,

that's so handsome.

And then another way you're like,

blugh, turn the other way again!

(players laughing)

- Perfect. Ivana looks at you
and both of you rush inside.

- Perfect. Ivana looks at you
and both of you rush inside.

As you do so, what is
Imelda saying to Ivana

or anyone else as you do as
you enter the train station?

- I think I'm just in sort of like, okay,

well, I hope everybody else
did what they needed to do.

How do you feel about your siblings?

- She looks and says, siblings, oh.

Well, Frank still all
the way in Motor City.

I don't think there time
for him to get here.

- Damn.
- She says that.

As she does so, you look
up and see Max Medulla

back in the station agent's box

who holds up a bunch of drinks
and says, hey, there you are!

I got your champagne right here!

- Ivana, you like warm-temperature vodka?

- Oh, warm vodka sound
very good to me, actually.

Yeah, for sure.
(players laughing)

I like to have vodka

because then you say what
you really think, you know?

- Sure, I get ya.

I like to drink champagne

because then you say
what you really think.

- (laughing) You guys walk
over and Max says, here you go.

Cheers, ladies.

Oh, I had that hot tea
and well, I guess...

Is, is Anastasia getting here anytime?

- Well, I hope so.

- You hear (mimics tires screeching)

And Stacy's car
(vehicle crashes)

just smashes through the front doors.

And you see Stacy literally
doesn't even throw the car

into park, just throws it into neutral

and leaps out the window
and starts sprinting towards

the station agent's office.
- [Siobhan] Now, that's an

entrance I respect.

- [Brennan] Mm-hm.
(players laughing)

- [Danielle] Stacy!

- Huh?
- Slow d- slow down! (panting)

I'm not (pant) wearing (pant)
- Oh, there's

no fucking trains here!
- [Danielle] Shoes.

- There's no fucking trains here!

How are we gonna get away?!

- I'm not wearing shoes.
I need you to slow down.

(Hank and Freddie laughing)

- You see Anastasia pull out as well.

Max says, Anastasia! Hello!

I got your hot tea right here,

and this older boxing coach
drank your vodka, I'm afraid.

- Is there more?

(players laughing)

- Ah, I got a whole bottle.

The nice thing about room temperature

is I don't have to do anything to it.

- I just, I grab the bottle,

bite the thing off with my teeth,

which is unfortunate
because it's not a cork.

(players laughing)

I just bite this bitch off of my teeth.

(slowly gulping down a shit
ton of room temp vodka)

- [Hank] Okay, that's gonna come in handy.

(Brennan laughing)

(Danielle breathing raggedly)

(resumes drinking heavily)

- Go ahead and give me a sturdy check.

(Siobhan laughing)

- [Danielle] Oh no!

- [Trapp] Nothing as refreshing
when you've been sprinting.

(players laughing)

- I was tired. I was thirsty.

Uh, that's a three.
- [Alex] Oh.

- [Brennan] That is a three. Okay.

(steam hissing, pressure falls)
(player gasps)

- [Hank] Oh! I will have

some more.
- A little five

point drop. You see-

(Danielle exhales heavily)

We drop down from 90 to
85 in terms of pressure

as the big guy's attention
momentarily dilutes itself.

The oculus beeps by your side,
(notification beeping)

by the way, and you look down.

You can just see that
basically all of your stuff

is completed and a clean set of pants

with all of the schematics.
- Nice!

- Not only now of Elias' work

but also the schematics of
the weaponized ray gun itself,

the psychometer ray.

All of that has now been collected,

and basically Elias is ready
to walk out of the door,

which means that he's
no longer being guided

by his last impulse.

- Great. Hey, Stacy.

- Huh?
- [Siobhan] Stacy Fakename?

- Yeah, that's me.

- Well, first I've gotta
say, I'm a big fan.

- Oh, that's so nice of you to say.

- And second of all, I
really think that right now,

you are what this city needs.

- You see Ivana looks at Stacy and says,

hello there, sister.
(cool tense music)

And you see Stacy says, (yelps) you!

And you see...
(Danielle laughing)

You see that Ivana says, you know,

me and Stacy are oldest of the four.

Fawn and Freeze kinda knew.

- I'm an only child. I don't
know if you could tell.

(players laughing)

- Personally, I don't think she is

what this city need right now

because those people that shoot
us with the mind control ray

still up there, and they don't
know that we're down here.

We can get the drop on them and kill them.

You see Stacy says,

that's the craziest thing I've ever heard!

We're gonna die! We're gonna die!

We here are strong. The big guy is not.

The big guy's gotta run.

- Here's what I say. We run.

And if we run into anybody
and we have to, then...

we fight.

- And I have great news.

If we are looking to find some way

to get the big guy to do
what we want him to do next,

I am now in possession

of all four of the F keys.

- My goodness.
(Brennan oohs and Alex mms)

- So I think as you say
that, by the way, Anastasia,

you realize Frank Freeze
actually still has freeze.

- Except Frank Freeze's.
(Brennan laughing)

But he will be back as soon
as he decides it's a good-

Oh no.
(Trapp chuckles)

He will be back, hopefully.
(players laughing)

- So you see that Max
looks up at both of you

and basically says like,
so I'm so sorry to notice,

but it seems like we're talking a lot

about different things
that are gonna happen

and sort of that, but I
don't know what this is.

You're not elected government officials,

and I'm very much the station agent.

- Screw elected government
officials! I'm old money!

(players laughing)

We all know who really runs this place.

And I put my key into the machine.

- Okay, I'm gonna need you

to make either a sneak
or a sharp to do so,

and you're gonna have to
beat a difficulty of...

Oh, that explodes, sorry.

That's gonna be a 12 from Max
who's gonna try to stop you.

- Well...

That also explodes.
- [Freddie] Ooh!

(player gasps)

(die rolling)

- Yeah!
- That's a 16.

- Oh my god! A strong impulse.

Max goes to swat your hand and you, whoom!

That center key in the
middle of the four Fs,

bam, Impulse's key goes
into it, you turn it.

(mimics power buzzing) And you
hear the PA sort of boot up.

By the way, you also see,
like, you have the oculus.

There's a little place on the
actual station agent's place

where you can plug this
oculus in and kind of jury-rig

your own little switchboard
here, essentially.

- You know I'm sneakier

when I've had a couple glasses
of champagne inside of me.

- That's true, if you would like some

of my room-temperature
vodka, you're welcome to it.

- That's disgusting. Yes, I'll have some.

(Siobhan gulping)
- So I take the... (laughing)

(slams the "bottle" down)
(Danielle laughing)

I take the oculus and
I set it on top of the,

I don't know,

like a switch charger deck.

- Yeah.
- I set it on top of there.

And I'm looking at it and I go, okay.

Mm, go!

- You hear (mimics latch
clicking) of a door opening.

The big guy is walking out of his office

into Gobstopper Industries.
(tense fast-paced music)

- I know how to type. I know how to type.

And so I just like,

press and hold the home
button on the oculus.

- [Brennan] At this point you hear-

(tires screeching)
Conrad, you roll up.

- Whoo! (casually) It's been a day.

(players laughing)

- Incredible. The four of you jump out.

Justin runs out with you.

All of you run into the station

to see this jury-rigged thing.

Max goes, oh, hold on, hold your horses!

I don't know who all of you are.

I am the station agent here,

and unless this is a
life or death emergency,

which it clearly is not,

we are walking calmly down a hallway,

all of this has to go
through the conscious mind

and the bureaucracy at Cortex City!

- (confidently) No it doesn't.

(players laughing)

- Nice! Yeah, get him!
- Yeah, tell him, Hunch!

- Get him!

- I'm with this guy! No, it doesn't!

- [Brennan] Okay, so the...

- Genius, you're a genius, Hunch.

- I gotta try!
(players laughing)

I grab the vodka bottle
and just... (gulping)

- The Fix can't hear any of this.

Completely unaware that
anything is going on,

and is just looking for copper.

- [Brennan] Incredible. Go
ahead and give me a snoop check.

We'll call it a difficulty,
call it difficulty seven.

(die rolling)
(little bursting sound)

- Oh, that's 12. I've exploded twice.

- Damn!

- Oh my god!
- [Hank] 13.

- 13.
- [Siobhan] Nice.

- [Brennan] You beat it by more than five.

- [Danielle] Sure did.
- You go over to the thing.

Again, it's like, lots of copper.

You see that there is a huge copper pipe

going down towards a radiator.

(Hank mimics breaking off the pipe)

All of you watch a like,
eight-foot length of copper pipe,

bam, come out of the wall
(metal clanking)

and immediately the entire upper deck

of the marble colonnade
(steam hissing)

fills with steam.
- [Freddie] Oh no!

- As this like, heating
pipe, whoosh, spills up.

And now there's this
incredible bit of concealment

as all these sort of shapes
loom in and out of the mist

here in this steaming rail yard.

With that pipe coming out,
some of the wiring goes out

and some of the lights

start to flicker overhead.
(lights flickering)

You have this basically like,

enormous copper quarterstaff in your hand.

- I do.

- (laughing) Yeah, you do.

(players laughing)

- Incredible, so a
bunch of copper weaponry

is now sort of scattered
throughout the party here.

Max Medulla is going to
make a check to remove you

from the station agent's booth.

They roll a 10 on their sharp check

to basically pull you away.

- Can I use a slick check
to, don't you know who I am?

- You can do slick.

So you're gonna have to beat a
10, but it's a snap decision.

- Yeah.
- [Brennan] Okay.

(die rolling)

- Ah, I don't do it! I got an eight.

(Hank and Danielle groaning)

- So, as you protest, you are-

- Don't you know who I am! Unhand me, man!

Unhand me, you, you, you station agent!

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- You've got a job!

(players laughing)

- The runaway heiress is just flung

from the station agent's booth,

and then I'm gonna say
that anyone else who-

- I try to grab Max and fling him out.

- [Brennan] Grab Max and fling them out.

- [Trapp] Oh, right.
- [Brennan] Yes.

Okay, go ahead and give me a
sharp roll. Difficulty's five.

- (taps table) No. That...

Oh wait, actually, hold on.

No, no, 'cause I got plus
two, so that's a four

and I'll cash in two, five.
- Okay.

(Trapp makes flinging sound)
You cash in two for five.

You fling Max. Max goes, crimes! Crimes!

(players laughing)

And you see Max rush over

and pull an alarm over on the wall.

(klaxon blaring)

(players groan)
- [Freddie] Oh no.

- Oh no!

- Neat.

(players laughing)
(pressure ramping up)

- Oh.
- [Danielle] Oh no.

- [Hank] Still going.
(players saying no)

- [Siobhan] Ay-yi-yi-yi.
(pressure still ramping up)

- And you see in the o-
(tense music)

Anastasia, you're still in the booth now.

You see as Elias begins to
walk, he's changed his pants.

He's got all these things.
He's walking down the hall.

And suddenly 'cause this is the first time

that he sort of started
to catch his breath,

he suddenly cannot catch his breath.

He's like, (gasps) oh my god!
They tried to mind control me!

I, I'm, oh, I'm just, I gotta get...

And you just see all of this mayhem,

and the only key that's in there right now

is still impulse in the center.

You can see that basically
like, he's losing his nerve.

His heart rate is getting dangerous.

I will also remind everyone here

that should his pressure
meter get all the way to 240,

that should his pressure
meter get all the way to 240,

he's gonna faint and pass out.

- Oh, that's not good.
- Okay, I go up to Fight

and I'm like, hey, I
understand that you all

are having a little tête-à-tête,

but I need to borrow both
of you really quickly

over by the keyhole.

- Ivana says, what do you want?

- We gotta put a key in the hole.

- Oh, you want to put key in hole?

- Yes.
- Go ahead and give me,

just call it a slick seven.

(die rolling)

(little bursting sound)

- That is...
- [Trapp] That explodes.

- Oh, that does explode.

I didn't need the two so that was 10.

17, 18, 19.

- Ooh.

- [Brennan] 19?
- Yeah.

- Unbelievable, so you see
Ivana says, I don't know why,

but I'm gonna listen to you.

- Thank you, I really
appreciate it. Key please.

- Which key do you wanna go with?

Do you wanna go with Stacy's first

or do you wanna go with Ivana's first?

- I am going to take Ivana's first

since she has given it gracefully,

and then I'm going to walk
over to Stacy Fakename

and I'm just gonna be like,

you know, it has been
fantastic getting to know you,

and we are going to get out of this

just as soon as we possibly-

Punched in the face, punched in the gut!

- (laughing) You punch her in the stomach.

(regurgitates) And she just...
(pleasant light sound)

- Bam!

- And you grab Stacy's key. (yelps)

I'm gonna say on a 19 on
that incredibly high roll,

you can throw another key on in there,

but as soon as you get
back into the booth,

you have them both so you have yours

and now three others.

- Yes.
- [Brennan] So you're holding

four keys.

- And then hers is already in.

- Hers in already in and turned.
Max has pulled the alarm.

At this point, you hear a
yell from the clock tower

and says, Ms. Pulse, we got incoming!

And you see a car pull up,
(slow sinister music)

and none other than Dan
Fucks steps out of the car.

As you're stepping out,
a voice in the car says,

do what you need to do.

Get the kid to step outside.

- No problem. And I wink at him.

- [Brennan] Mm-hm.

- Sorry, something in my eye. Oh god.

(players laughing)

- [Brennan] So Dan, you step out.

You are collecting those keys.

Hunch, you've bodied Max under there.

You've got this copper thing in your hand.

Conrad, you're still near the door.

Justin turns around (woofs)

and looks over at Dan approaching.

- [Freddie] How far away am I from...

- The car pulled up just
sort of on the sidewalk

so you're only about 15 feet.

You're 15, 20 feet away with like,

Conrad's basically right on
the other side of the doors.

- Okay, okay. Oh, Justin, Justin.

(Brennan woofs)
Over here.

(barks) You see Justin nuzzles
the door open and runs out.

Dan, we gotta get inside!

The big guy's making a break for it!

- Oh, oh, oh! Yes, yes, yeah.

Just lead me in. Lead me to your child.

(woofs) All right.
(Hank laughing)

- Forthwith!

- The most menacing thing I've ever heard.

(Alex laughing)

- Justin's like... (woofs agreeingly)

- Wow, Dan's talking so normal!

(players laughing)

- Justin runs back in and
says, Conrad, Dan's outside.

- Oh, okay.

- Dan, are you staying outside
by the car in this moment

or are you entering the building?

- I'm walking up and I'm
standing by the doorway.

- Gotcha, okay.

So yeah, you see Dan
standing by the doorway.

- [Alex] Do I see the Avaricci car?

- Give me a snoop check,
and we'll call it a

DC of eight

because of all the steam in here.

- [Hank] That's my bad.
- Steamy.

(Danielle giggling)

(tense music)

That's a nine.
- Hey!

- [Siobhan] Hey!

- You see Avaricci's car outside.

- Oh, uh,

Justin, it looks like our friend Dan

just got out of that car.

- Hm?

- I don't know if we should go over there.

- Oh, do you think he stole it?

- Dan, did you steal that car?

- Whoa, what car?

(players laughing bewilderedly)

- [Hank] That's so...
(Freddie laughing)

And I'm gonna snoop now
'cause that seems weird.

(players laughing)

- Dan's talking so normal.

(players laughing)

- Not suspicious at all.
- Oh, but I am so focused

on this fucking, the
thing that I shot earlier.

- Yeah.
- That didn't die at all.

I couldn't notice anything.
- Well, why don't you come,

why don't you come towards me instead?

- Oh very well Conrad. And
I walk over towards him.

- Cool.
- Conrad, you ignoramus

what's, give me the update, the download.

- [Alex] Okay.
- What's happening?

- A lot's happening. And I
give the download. (laughing)

- Cool.

- Does Dan give us the download too?

- What did you download, my boy?

- Yeah, what have you been up to?

- I'm gonna say, actually,
that given what's going on

there is no possibility
for download right now.

- Great, sure.
- [Alex] Oh.

- I think it's all happening too fast.

- [Alex] Okay.
- So our...

But I know that, I just wanna
know that our guy is like,

is moving, is doing-
- Elias is,

you can see on the oculus

that Anastasia is like-
- Right.

- [Brennan] Gathering keys
to go and start controlling

what's going on here.

- [Freddie] Okay, so-
- The Fix is getting

so freaked out by that noise.

He really doesn't like that
noise. It's very distracting.

- [Brennan] Yeah.
- He pushes past Conrad.

He's not even thinking straight.

I just gotta stop that. What is that?

I gotta stop that noise.
He's just moving out.

And he just like, walks out of the door.

- Hell yeah.
- Headed toward

wherever that big switch was.
- The big switch.

So that's over by the wall with
Max so you head over there.

Max looks up. (stammers
nervously) Hi, Mr. The Fix.

Listen, we, we uh, we don't-
(klaxon blaring)

- Just moves, he doesn't even see him.

- Yeah.
- He can't hear him.

He just tries to make the
noise stop making noise.

- [Brennan] Go ahead and
give me a sharp check.

(klaxon still blaring)

DC eight.

- That's a 13.

- You grab with a hand and

crush the alarm box on the wall,
(metal crunching)

and the noise stops.

- [Freddie] Oh!
- That's better.

(Brennan laughing)

- But nothing happens to the pressure.

(Danielle makes optimistic pressure sound)

- To the pressure?

- [Danielle] Just like a
little... (more optimistic sounds)

- [Brennan] You got a 13?

- [Danielle] Uh-huh.
- Yeah, let's go.

So 13 divided by...

(players giggling)

- Please, please, daddy.
(Freddie laughing)

- Yeah, we're

gonna move that down,
- [Siobhan] Daddy, please.

- 30. We'll keep that same
math we were doing before

so we go from 180
(steam hisses, pressure falls)

all the way down to 150.

- I'll take it.
- Okay, yeah.

- [Brennan] As the alarm goes off

and the pressure starts to subside.

- [Hank] Yeah, so I, okay.
- Back to Conrad.

- Oh thank you. Thank you
for turning off the alarm.

- So loud.
- Is there a phone in here

now that they're working?

I need a telephone.

- [Siobhan] A phone.
- And I wanna cast about

for a telephone.

- Yeah, you see that there's a phone booth

over in the corner, yeah.
- Okay.

Everybody just like, hold on one second.

I need to make an important phone call.

- Hold on one second?

- [Freddie] So I'm going to spend-

- This is a pretty urgent

situation, Fucks.
- Yes, yes, yes,

but I have something-

- Hold on to what?

- Oh, hold on to whatever's
nearby. It'll only be a second.

- No one needs to follow
what Dan is saying.

- Yeah, yeah.
(players laughing)


- [Brennan] Absolutely no one needs to-

- By the emergency powers vested in me,

everyone just hang on one second.

- You actually see that
Max looks at you and says,

oh, Mr. Emergency Mayor!
(players laughing)

- Yes, yes, bring me a phone!
So I would like to spend-

So I have spend one Moxie to locate

and receive help within reason

without making any stat checks
from a criminal network.

- [Brennan] Yeah.

- So specifically, I only have three.

I'd like to get one from
someone. I'd like to call-

- I can give you two.
- Okay.

- So one, two, three,
four. I'm gonna spend that.

I'd like to call the club.
I'd like to call Sugah.

- Okay, you call Sugah's. Yes, absolutely.

Hello, Sugah's.
(jazz club music)

- Hey, this is the big man, the boss.

No, not the big man.
It's just me, your boss.

- [Brennan] Oh!
- It's Dan.

- Oh, hello. How's it going, boss?

Oh, I heard you were the mayor now.

Do we still have to be a secret?

- We'll see about that.

I need you to check on something for me.

- Oh, will do.

- The man upstairs has undertaken

a certain series of actions judged,

guided by his conscience, as it may seem.

I need to ask you, check the stockroom.

Has there been an influx
of new good chemicals

(Danielle laughing)
as a result of this?

What's our stock looks like?

- Well, it's the middle of the night, sir,

but I can try to see if
we've gotten any invoices

for morning or something like that.

We won't know until the trains come in.

(Freddie grumbles)

- I, mm, okay.

- I think as Dan looks
out, your instinct of like,

is there gonna be a payoff?

- [Freddie] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [Siobhan] Mm-hm.

- I think Dan's gonna
have to make a guess,

- Hmm.

- [Brennan] 'Cause he won't know for sure

before he has to act.

- Conrad is confused
why Dan called him over

and then just ran away.
(players laughing)

And so Conrad kinda comes
bounding back up to his friend

of like, hey, Mr. Fucks, do you um...

(players laughing)
Notice anything...

- Conrad-
- You notice anything,

I don't know, different?

(players laughing)

- I look down.
- He's like trying

to stand as straight as possible.

- Why are you standing on your tippy toes?

- No, no. Well, yes, sorry.

Okay, now I'm standing just on my feet.

- Well now my point of
reference is now all screwed up

so now you look shorter

than you were.
- Okay.

- [Freddie] Have you shrunk?

- Oh, uh, no. I think I
might be a little taller.

- Oh, I'll have to take your word for it.

Conrad, I have a question for you,

and you answer me honestly.

- Okay.
- [Freddie] You rapscallion.

- I always do.
- I expect nothing less.

You have pushed the big man upstairs

towards a possibly disastrous path.

- Uh, yep.

- Why?

- Well... (sighs)

It was gonna eat away at him otherwise.

Eat away at me, eat away
at all of us, you know?

So I thought maybe

we should try something
different this time.

- Trying something different
this time. (grumbles)

- You hear the phone
(phone ringing)

in the phone booth ring, Dan.

- Oh, that's probably for
me. I'll be right back.

- What the? What are you-

This is a very important
situation right now!

(players laughing)

- Hello!
- I look at, just,

on the oculus, is Elias like,

still like-
- Elias is moving.

We're gonna go ahead and resolve whatever-

So you arrive, Anastasia,
with a bunch of these keys.

Hunch, you're there as well.

You've leaned over.
You've gotten the alarm.

Imelda, you're also close by here, too.

Ivana and Stacy, honestly
not that far away, right?

You've got all these keys at your disposal

so we're gonna resolve the next thing.

As you start looking through the keys,

what's the key you put in for Elias

as he's walking down the hallway?

- I don't want to freeze.

I do wanna calm him down.

- I don't think we have time for calm.

I think we just gotta run away.

- Oh. Yeah, I think I'm
gonna put in flight.

- (mimics key entering and
power buzzing) You put in flight

and (light bursting) that
microphone buzzes again

and you see Stacy looks at that and goes,

(gasps) may I?

- Absolutely.

- (staticky) Big guy, Elias...

I'm Stacy Fakename.

- Say your real name, Stacy!

- My real name is Stacy Fakename.

(players laughing)

- (disbelievingly) Okay!
That's what I said.

- What name would be better for me

than a name of me trying
to get out of a situation?

- Okay, sure.

- And you see she says,

listen, you're in a
tremendous amount of danger.

You've got to stop just walking.

You've got to run,
(tense music)

but run in a way that doesn't
draw attention to yourself!

You need to get out of
here as fast as you can!

As she yells that and
he starts to book it...

- Uh-huh.
- One of the rules of our game

changes in the moment
that you turn the key

for Stacy Fakename.

- Mm?

- Pressure, something
that up till this point

has been negative, but
not something that exists

in the mind for no reason.

As the key for flight is turned,

the ratio shifts.

Moxie that are now spent for a sneak roll,

normally you would have to
spend four to add plus one.

Now spending one gives you plus four.

- Nice!

- As Stacy Fakename takes
over, all of this adrenaline,

all of this stuff throughout the city

pulses again
(tech pulsing)

as suddenly Elias goes, you're gonna die.

You're gonna fucking die. You
gotta get the fuck outta here!

And begins to move through this place.

- Doesn't running offer you endorphins,

and wouldn't endorphins help
us lower some of the pressure?

- They would, absolutely.

- I know science.

- [Brennan] Go ahead and give me,

I think in this case, a snoop check.

- You're not gonna give
me the DC, are you?

- [Brennan] No.
- Nah, I didn't think so.

Hey, what do we got here?

Is that? Oh, is this...

That was a six. Dang it.
- Six, that's okay.

This is gonna lower us all
the way to, we'll call it 130.

- [Danielle] Great.

- Can I ask more questions
about this rule change?

- [Brennan] Yeah.

- So if we're in the yellow, will that be-

- [Brennan] One to two, yep.
- C plus is two.

- Great, so we wanna keep it in the red,

but I think it's good to keep
in the lower end of the red.

- [Danielle] Yeah.
- [Brennan] Yeah.

- So we don't just pass

out as we're running.
- [Hank] Die, yeah.

- So that's the funny thing, right?

'Cause red is now good for some checks,

but you can still get a little too red.

(players laughing lightly)

- Everything in moderation.

- [Siobhan] Yes.
- What we espouse

here at Dimension 20.

- [Brennan] Yeah.
(players laughing)

So, Dan, the phone is ringing.
(phone ringing)

- Okay, I'd like to answer it.

- What's the holdup, Fucks?

- I'm taking care of it, dammit!

If you want to be a partner with me,

you're going to need to trust my methods.

- I'm absolutely listening in.

I'm still, I'm probably
only hearing Dan's side

of the conversation, but just, it's,

you know, shit's going on.

Hunch is like...
- You pan over

and there's like a cup on the glass.

(players laughing)

- Yeah, I think you just hear,
you hear those two voices.

You hear that interaction.

Dan, you hear Avaricci say,
if you can't get the kid,

just come back out yourself
and we'll take care of it.

- Okay, so I'm gonna turn
to the group, and I say,

all right, it's time to come clean.

- Uh-huh.

- [Freddie] Are you a gambling man?

- (matter-of-factly) No.

- Well, luckily for you, I am,
(players laughing)

and I detect within you a
potential for a huge payoff,

but not, perhaps, in
the way you may think.

I see the way you look at me,
but the powers vested in me

by these emergency powers
thanks to my attorney

has given me a broader
perspective on things.

Here's my plan. Just like,
hear me out for a second.

Don Avaricci wishes to
enter a partnership with me

and to rule this land and the
land of pleasure and vices,

but I see that that is
only a short-term solution.

In order to do this, in order
to enact this regime change,

as it were, he demands the
head, the death of you, Conrad.

Now, I am quite inclined for such a thing,

but these recent events, these days,

this time I have spent with you my,

hm, dare I say, new friends.

(Alex gasps in surprise)
Has given me

a different perspective, different idea.

So like, this idea, I think,

is even better than the
previous good idea I had,

which as we know turned
out perfectly fine.

(players laughing)

- Oh, uh, just to double check, Mr. Fucks,

you're willing to give away...

ab- ultimate power in this city,

wealth, pleasure, all,
everything to save me,

the little-
- No, absolutely not,

you dolt!
- [Alex] Oh, sorry, I thought-

- I plan on getting all of that!

- Oh, okay.
- Here's the plan!

Conrad, Justin.

(Brennan barks softly)
Can either of you-

both, can both of you play dead?

- I don't know the details of this plan...

(players laughing)
- [Hank] I don't like it.

- But from what I do know-
- [Freddie] Here, let me

pitch this out real quick.
- It sounds bad.

- Conrad's already on the ground.

(players laughing)

- You see, yeah, Justin
goes (barks to death)

and like, plays dead with Conrad.

- All right.

- [Alex] We used to play-
- Oh, one more thing, Conrad.

I shake you awake a little bit.

- Oh yeah, oh, oh.

- [Freddie] Do you know how to fire a gun?

- Um, I've read about it.
(inquisitive music)

- Ah, okay. So here's my plan, all right?

I drag the apparently
dead bodies of Conrad

and his faithful dog companion Justin out

where Don Avaricci's waiting
for my in the car, you see.

But in fact, he's not dead.

He is playing dead and
he is armed to the teeth

with two heaters, one in each hand!

And as I approach the car,
upon my signal, Conrad,

you pop up and lay waste to them.

What do you think of that?

- Fucks, we got Self Loathing barrelling-

somewhere around here probably
trying to take shit over.

We got Elias running through the halls

where people are trying to kill him,

and you're trying to hatch a grand plan

where Conrad plays dead.
- [Freddie] Yes.

- So you can get rich.

- I don't hate it.

(players laughing)

- You discerned the matter
precisely, my friend.

- All right. Sounds interesting.

(Freddie laughing)
- Mr. Fucks,

I gotta say, that's the most confidence

anyone's ever put in me.

(players laughing)

- You can see that Stacy is
like, piloting the big guy

over in the station booth for the moment.

So what is it you do in this moment here?

- 'Cause here's my thinking.

It's like, you know, there's
a lot of stuff going on.

You're right, you have
to take care of one thing

at a time, you know?

You have to focus on the things
that are in front of you.

Right now we have a crime family

with armed goons knocking at our door

if they don't hear a
response from me forthwith.

- Yeah, but they're just
waiting for you, right?

- Yes.
- So we got a bit of time now.

- That's true, that's true.

(players laughing)

- Why don't we give you a gun,

and you can go walk out
there and shoot them.

And if you die, it's just you.

- I would like some insurance in the form

of Conrad next to me because
if I'm going down dammit!

- Can I just do a quick ch-

'Cause I feel like I should
have seen Madam Loathing by now.

Can I do a quick check
just to see, to look for-

- Yeah, give me a snoop.
We'll call it snoop 14.

- Okay.
- [Hank] Ooh, Jesus.

It's dark in the darkness.
- We're still in the red

so Moxie ain't gonna help me much here.

That is a seven, and Moxie's too expensive

for me to modify that
so that's just a seven.

- [Brennan] You don't detect
anything around there.

So Dan has hatched this insane plan.

- No, no, reasonable,

cool plan.
- Reasonable, cool plan.

But I think that
ultimately, the rest of you

also looking at what's
going on with the big guy,

which after all, is existential, right?

- Yeah.
- [Danielle] Mm-hm.

- Conrad, you and Justin
look at each other

and you basically go like,
I mean, Dan's, you know,

never really done anything
nice for us even one time.

- Mm-hm.
(Danielle laughing)

- Has been a constant hectoring
presence sort of always,

and seems to in this, the
11th hour, have found a way

to manipulate us for his own selfish ends.

(Freddie and Hank laughing)

- Yeah, all right. That's a
lot a reasons, Justin, yeah.

- Yeah, I don't really know
where I'm going with this.

(players laughing)

- I, I also have a key, guys.

- You do?

- Can I do like a savvy
roll or something of like,

see what I can do with this key?

- Give me a snoop and a savvy.

We'll call the savvy six and
we'll call the snoop four.

- Okay, I asked for a savvy

'cause I don't think I've
rolled a single savvy

in the game.

Four plus two, that's a six.

- [Brennan] Whoo!

- And then what was...

- [Brennan] Snoop is four.

- Seven.
- Hell yeah.

Looking at the board in front of you,

you feel that there could
be something possible

by putting your key in there.

And on that snoop check,
you are able to see

a flash of shadow,

as Madam Loathing attacks Anastasia.

- No!
- [Freddie] Oh!

- What the hell?
(tense music)

- I'm going to need a
sturdy check from Anastasia.

- [Siobhan] Oh no.
- It's the scary lighting.

(players laughing)

- [Brennan] The difficulty is 15.

- Oh, well then fuck this.

It's a two.
- Oh no.

- And with this attack,
I'm going to ask something

from everyone here because
this will apply to you

and your enemies.

- Oh boy.

- How many injuries would you like people

to be able to survive?

(players ohing in
thoughtful consideration)

- 16.

(players laughing)
- Oh, wow.

You just wanna play all night.
(players laughing)

- I wanna say three?
- That was my first instinct.

Seems like-
- I'm gonna say-

- [Freddie] One light, one heavy.

- I'm gonna say three is fair to me,

but I will say-
- Right, or one,

or one light and one heavy.

- I will say, yes, I will say

that a light is one and a heavy is two,

and a heavy is when you
fail by five or more,

so, Anastasia,
(ball sliding on a track)

as you are standing there you hear a

(shouts) as this key lunges.

I'm gonna say this. The key is
coming right for your chest.

- Uh-huh.

- You can either allow the
key to enter your chest,

at which point you know what happens then

or you can dodge out of the way
but risk losing your balance

and something else bad happening

that will not be life-threatening

but could potentially tilt
to some other bad effect.

- Can I fucking shoot her?

- No, not on this moment.
- Damn it! Okay.

- You have to, this is a snap reaction to

what you do.
- Snap reaction.

- But sneak's cheap right now.
- Yeah.

- [Hank] Sneak's cheap.
- A lot of sneak is cheap-

- Sneak is cheap.
- If you're trying to dodge.

- If you're trying to dodge,
you can attempt to sneak, yeah.

- All right, come on.

I can do this, I can
do this, I can do this.

Possibly maybe. Actually
no, I can do this.

Okay, that's an eight.
- I got Moxie to give,

- Nine, 10,

and then with this one I get four

so that brings me to 14 so-
- I give you one.

- Boom!
- Hell yeah. You all watch.

Certain death comes barreling
for Anastasia Tension.

(shouts) As it does, you,
nerves of steel, kick back,

(mimics wind whipping) choosing
instead to hit the deck.

You hit hard, bam,
sustaining a heavy injury,

and as you do all of
you watch in bullet time

(pleasant light sound)

as keys go flying.

(Siobhan gasps)
- [Alex] Oh no!

- And unable to get another
(tense battle music)

thrall of this mind control,

she takes her consolation
prize, which is Ivana's key,

(whoom) and grabs the fight key.

At that same time, you
all hear the doors get

kicked open as gangsters
(doors being kicked open)

charge the train station.

- I thought this train would be fine.

(players laughing)

- As awesome as these
plans were, these gangsters

were not gonna just kick
it out there all night.

- This is why you listen to me
when I get cool, good plans.

- I feel like we wasted a lot of time

listening to Dan's plan.
(players laughing)

- Incredible, so gangsters
charge the station.

Madam Loathing vanishes into
the mist. You hear Max yell.

Stacy is over at the switchboard

a little bit farther away from you.

You know that Lance is upstairs.

Ivana and Justin are down here
sort of in the mix with you.

I am gonna turn it over to all six of you

to tell me what you are doing

as this wave of threats suddenly appears.

- I am certainly fixated on Loathing.

I'm going to try to find
her if I can and attack her.

And if I can't find her, I'm
going to swing my copper pipe

wildly in the general
direction I think she is.

- Hell yes.
(Trapp laughing)

Go ahead and give me,
I'm gonna say snoop 14.

- Okay.

(die rolling)

(sighs) That is a 12,

and snoop costs- costs four, right?

- [Brennan] Snoops costs four.

However, I will say this.

I think, Anastasia, it occurs to you,

as you're looking at that,
if you were to put your key,

your actual family key in,
snoop would be your stat

and that would become one Moxie for every-

You would get plus four per Moxie.

- [Trapp] Got it.

- I'm going to, I'm gonna put it into...

Nope, 'cause we've got the fight key here.

So freeze, I'll put it into freeze

'cause that's the one that
we don't have that's here.

- Yeah, I think you put it into freeze,

and also, and sort of what
Elias is doing right now,

the time for freezing is over.

Like, this is, like in
this moment it's like,

everything that would
have gone to freezing

is now going to alertness as Anastasia,

you go up, turn your key.

Snoop joins our list of skills

that you can get a plus
four with a single Moxie.

But I will say that we're
still gonna call that

a failure on that roll
because you went first here

so I'm gonna throw these your way.

- [Trapp] Got it.

- But it doesn't take
your action to do that

so you can still choose what to do,

but you're basically looking
at the mist, can't see Madam-

- [Trapp] I don't see her.
- You don't see Loathing, no.

- Okay, cool.

- [Brennan] But you hear
gangsters rushing in and...

- All right, but I still take a wild swing

with the copper pipe into the mist where,

and just sort of hoping I might
blindly hit Loathing here.

- [Brennan] Hell yeah. Go
ahead and give me a 16 sharp.

(Siobhan and Trapp laughing)

- (determined) Fine!
(players laughing)

I will! That is precisely what I'll do.

- [Brennan] Hell yeah, hell yeah.

(Siobhan huffs in frustration)

- That is a seven.

Does it hit anything
else that isn't Loathing?

- You do not hit anything.
That is another failure.

Here's two more Moxie.

- I'll rack up the Moxie. That's fine.

- [Hank] Yes, well done.
- Wait, so which...

Are there any more keys in the air

from when they went flying?

- Anastasia has all of them.

So the only one Loathing
could grab was Ivana's.

You still have fawn, your own key,

which you've just used in the station,

and I think that's it, right?

- I wanna try and take
care of these gangsters.

- [Brennan] Hell yeah.

- And so I'm gonna turn
to the gangsters and say,

gentlemen, please, there
are ladies present!

And then just fully flash them.

(Danielle and Hank laughing)

- [Brennan] Incredible! Go-

- I got two of them right here!

(players laughing)

- Go ahead. I'm gonna
say this is a slick 14.

- [Alex] Wow!
- Great.

And you would say that they
generally love my creative

and or charitable work
in this situation, right?

- I'm gonna say a fraction of them do.

- Great, then I get a 16.

- But a 13 for the rest? So...

- Great.
- [Brennan] Yes so I will say-

- I got some of them.
- So I'll say actually,

for those ones you don't
get, here's a failure token.

- [Siobhan] Great.
- But you see one of them goes

wowie wow, wow, wow!

I gotta say, I loved your article!

(players laughing)

So a fraction of them
have been peeled away

and distracted by you.

- Do we have a rough count?

- Probably a dozen gangsters
charging this space.

Yes, absolutely.

And of those dozen, probably, you know,

four of them have just
gotten peeled off by Imelda.

- Eyeballs fully bulging.
- [Brennan] Ahooga! Yeah.

- So I wanna take care
of the gansters as well

so I'm gonna turn to them and say,

gentlemen, there are ladies present!

Check this out! And I also similarly...

'Cause I've been wearing a
robe this whole time, baby!

- [Brennan] Just flash your dong?
- Same thing, same move.

- All right, incredible.

Give me slick 14 as well.

- Oh, great.
- Watch this work.

- Oh, so close!
- It was so close.

- [Siobhan] It was so close.
- Six plus four, 10.

- Okay, so you see that
Imelda flashes her breasts.

People go, wow!

You flash your hog, and a
bunch of people shoot you.

(guns firing)
(players laughing)

(players laughing)

(Brennan screaming in horror)
(guns firing)

- But they're distracted.
- [Brennan] They are.

- Those are bullets that
are being wasted, right?

- Yeah, in the sense that your body

is distracting the bullets
(fast-paced music)

from hitting other people's vital organs,

yeah, an incredible distraction.

Let's go ahead-

- What a hero.
- What a hero.

They're going to attack you.
I'm gonna need a sturdy 15.

- Oh yes, with this d6.
- Oh god!

- Let's see how far we get.
- Oh no!

- Oh, Hank. Worry not.

- Yeah, you just have to

explode twice.
- I've got some boxcars


(little bursting sound)
Number six!

- [Danielle] Oh!
- [Brennan] Okay, it explodes.

- [Freddie] One explode.
- Gotta get to 14.

Gotta get to 14.

- This feels like craps.
Everyone's rooting.

Or except I guess in craps,
people are rooting for you.

- [Siobhan] Yeah, hm.

- H'ya!

(Siobhan shouts)
(little bursting sound)

- Another six!

(players yelling in joy)

- [Freddie] 12!
(upbeat jazzy music)

- Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!

- Okay, if you roll a one,
it's all for naught. A two...

This is Box of Doom.
- No if he rolls a one

he's gonna-
- This is Box of Doom.

Give me the Box!

- Box of Doom over here.

- If you hit a two, it's all different.

- (blows on dice) I'm not even, nah...

Well, check my watch. My
heart rate's not even pumping.

No problem.

Four, baby!
- Four!

- Oh my god!
(players cheering)

All of you in the mist
watch a fleet of gangsters

shoot Dan Fucks' dick

and bullets ricochet in all directions.

- It's so hard!
(players laughing)

- As you see, I'm gonna
say at the last minute

you push your dick to the side,
and your diamond-hard balls-

- Yeah, diamond-hard balls, baby!

- [Brennan] Ping, ping,
ping, pang, pang, ping, pang!

- Dude, roleplaying games are so rad.

(players laughing)

- Don't forget your die.

- [Brennan] Truly unbelievable.
- Oh my god.

I am flooded with adrenaline.

- [Brennan] Yeah, un-
(players laughing)

- Ah, Hank, you didn't believe!

- I didn't, you're right!

- I want to intercut that scene

with the behind-the-scenes footage

where we're like, are
roleplaying games art?

(players laughing)

- Oh my god.

That's the most unbelievable
thing I've ever seen.

We're gonna resolve what
everybody else is doing.

So we still have Conrad and The Fix to go.

- I wanna snoop for Loathing.

And what's...

I rolled a four, but there's a,

we have an advantage here with Moxie.

- Yes, so every Moxie, so I said-

- [Hank] But I don't
know what the check is.

- The DC, I said before was 14, I believe.

We'll call it 14 here.

- That's not, I'm not getting there.

- Well hold on, that's
not necessarily true.

- Yeah, you get four per one Moxie.

- [Trapp] So you get four per one Moxie.

- I know, but like,

there are gonna be better opportunities to

snoop around.
- I don't know, I-

- [Brennan] It's possible but-
- I think you should

spend your money.

- I'm...
- But I am impulsive, so...

(players laughing)
- I've got so much Moxie,

and I hate Loathing right now.

And I just look, you know, I've-

- So four, so I'll take one from me

and I'll take two from you.

- Cool, and I, (laughs) I yell to The Fix,

she's not over here!

(players laughing)

- Hell yeah, okay, so
you're gonna spend the Moxie

to get to that 14 snoop check.

- Okay, let's do it. Hell yeah.

- You, (mimics pipe swinging)
as you yell that, Hunch,

you're swinging blindly.

You hear, cling, and connect.

A hand grabs the copper pipe.
(player gasps)

And Ivana Popov leans out
of the mist with white eyes.

- [Siobhan] Oh no!

- I don't think so, Hunch.
- Mm...

- And she's going to punch
you. She's got a d20 in fight.

(tense music)
(die taps table)

That's a natural 20.
- No!

- [Brennan] That explodes.
- Yeah.

- [Alex] No.

(tense music)
(die taps table)

- That's another natural 20.

[Siobhan and Danielle] No!

- [Alex] No!

- [Hank] What?
(players groaning)

- [Brennan] Oh no!

- Some truly wild dice rolls this episode.

- And that's a 19.
- Wow! 20, 20, 19?

- 59.
- [Brennan] 20-

- That's the best anybody's
ever rolled in this game!

- [Brennan] 19,

she rolls a 50-
- I say, when I'm fighting,

the name's Stacy Fakename.

(players laughing)

Unaware of the pain
that's about to rain down.

- With a 59 sharp check,
(Siobhan laughing)

the fight response of Elias Hodge comes

rocketing at you

for all of this potential.

You may roll if you so choose.

- I'm going to try!
- You must try.

- You miss all the shots you don't take.

Am I rolling sturdy?
- [Brennan] Sturdy.

- That's my strongest one.
- [Danielle] All right.

- You just have to do what she just did.

- I just have to do
exactly what she just did.

- [Hank] Or one better.
- What was the other option?

He's just dead?
(players laughing)

- We've established the rules
that failing by 10 or more

doesn't increase the severity.
- [Trapp] Yeah.

- So you're only gonna take
- I'll get a heavy hit.

- Two out of three on this one.

- Yeah.

(cool tense music)

(die rolling)

(Siobhan laughing)
(nat one sound)

- [Hank] Is that a one?
- A nat one.

- [Hank] Oh my god, now what?
- [Alex] Oh no!

- [Trapp] No, no, wait.
That's a seven, it's a seven.

- No, it rolled when you hit the table.

- Oh, did it? (laughing)
- [Hank] Yeah.

- [Alex] God.
- [Danielle] Yeah.

- [Brennan] Well...
- [Siobhan] Wow.

- Shit.

- I think on a nat one versus a 59...

- (laughing) Is that biggest
spread you've ever seen?

I feel like that's the biggest spread.

- That's the biggest spread I've-

- Can I use any Moxie?
(players laughing)

- [Freddie] That's the
thing. Do you get a-

- Does it help that I recover
from injuries more quickly

and don't suffer lasting
effects from most injuries?

- I think what I'm going to say here

is that you are punched
out of the building.

- Right.
(players laughing)

- I think that all of you watch

as Ivana Popov goes,

(screams) boom!
(bones cracking)

And all of you watch as the mist parts

and rings of mist come
off as you... (screams)

(brick wall crumbling)

You rocket through the
wall down the train yard,

and I think you go like, a
quarter of a mile down the track

of (mimics impacts
landing) just eating wood

through the rail struts.
- Oh, Jesus Christ!

(Brennan mimics impacts crashing)

- You end up there with a,

like, basically you should be dead.

You're one point away from,

you should be dead.
- Sure.

- [Brennan] That's where we're gonna stop.

The Fix, you get your snoop-

- Yeah, I took my snoop.

- And you see Madam Loathing
rearing up over Stacy Fakename

- And you see Madam Loathing
rearing up over Stacy Fakename

who is currently commanding
Elias Hodge in the kiosk.

- Oh, other Stacy Fakename.

- Not my fight name, yeah.

- The real Stacy Fakename.
- This one, not this one

or that one or this one or that one.

- [Brennan] Okay.
- Does Madam Loathing

still have a broken arm?
- Unclear.

- Okay.
- [Brennan] Unclear.

Here we go. You're gonna take a swing.

- Yeah, yeah, I've got a
very large copper pipe,

and I'm gonna try to
kill this person with it.

- Okay, it's opposed rolls.

I'll roll in front of the board here.

She's got a d12 in sturdy.

She hits an eight.

- I hit, I mean, there's a
world in which that's an eight,

but it is a three and that's plus two.

- You take a swing, whoosh.

She (grunts) ducks out of
the way, spins it around.

Oh, Fix, you didn't want
this dance, I promise you.

You know, you're something of
a simple function, aren't you.

(suspenseful music)

Always much better as a puppet.

Maybe you should just do as you're told.

Conrad, that's gonna be you.

- What's going on on the oculus?

- Give me a snoop. Call
it a difficulty eight.

- Nine.

- As you look at the oculus,
you see Elias turn a corner

and run right into Mr. Henry.

- Oh.

- You see Mr. Henry right
there in front of him,

and you see Henry...

put a meaty hand

on the big guy's shoulder and grin.

Time warps around you, Conrad,

as you see Mr. Henry speaking going,

(echoing, speaking slowly)
there's our special guy.

Oh, Mr. Hodge, where are
you going in such a hurry?

Oh, Mr. Hodge, where are
you going in such a hurry?

- And you see Stacy at the thing
go, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh!

Suddenly not able to
function. The pressure...

- [Danielle] Fuck.
- [Alex] Oh, no, no, no.

Okay, okay, um...
(pressure ramping up)

- [Brennan] Conrad.

- Conrad isn't sure if there's
people behind Mr. Henry,

but seeing all this, he takes his key

and he puts it into the fight response.

- All of you watch a gleaming
silver key surge forward.

Conrad runs up.

As Conrad runs up, puts it
into the fight response. Boom!

As you do so, you see Elias...


reach out.

(tense music)

(punch landing)

(players laughing in satisfaction)

Boom! Mr. Henry, koo, goes back.

Pure conscience, and you watch

as Ivana turns to you.

And with the power of that
key, (mimics energy bursting)

the white leaves her
eyes as she... (grunts)

Your key undid what happened to Justin

and it undoes what happened to Ivana.

Elias, the big guy fucking
knocks out Henry in one punch.

Elias, the big guy fucking
knocks out Henry in one punch.

And Hunch, you pull your head up,

pull splinters out of your teeth,

and hear, choo-choo!
(train whistle howling)

(Brennan mimics trains arriving)

Trains, dozens of trains,
hundreds of trains.

(Brennan mimics trains chugging)

- My god, the greatest
pleasure is punching your boss.

(players laughing)

- At the front of the
train, Dan, you whip around

with your diamond-hard
nutsack swinging in the wind.

And as you do, you turn out to look.

The steam and mist parts.

As it does, you see at the head engine,

you see these trains.
(energetic music)

They have ropes around them
to tie extra cargo to the top,

tons of endorphins and serotonin
and adrenaline, oxytocin,

everything under the sun!

All of these different
hormones and neurotransmitters,

pleasures that Hodge hasn't
known in a generation.

And at the very front of the
train, leaping to the top,

ripping his uniform off,
(clothes ripping)

jacked as hell,

Wilton starts waving the flag.
(players cheering)

- Here comes the revolution!
(players laughing)

♪ Do you hear the testicles sing ♪

♪ Singing the song of swollen balls ♪

(players laughing)
- Wilton, my brother!

- Vive la révolution! And...
(players laughing)

And all of these trains
pull into the station.

The mist parts and as it
does, the fight continues.

However, everyone's taken an action

so unfortunately now...
- No!

- [Brennan] We go back
to the villains' turn.

- Does that, do any of these endorphins

bring the pressure down?

- I think, Hunch, you were
like a billion miles away.

You can just grab on to one
of these trains and like,

zoom back towards the fight.

Go ahead and give me a
sturdy roll on behalf,

basically, of Elias to
try and settle down.

- Okay.

(die rolling)

That is an eight, and
what's the, how much Moxie?

There's no sturdy Moxie bonus right now.

- There's no sturdy Moxie bonus right now.

- Fuck it, we'll keep it
at eight. That's fine.

- [Brennan] Keep it at eight
so it's gonna come down 20.

- [Trapp] Okay.

- So the pressure continues to come down.

His heart is going a million
miles as he, (pants) boom!

As he socks Mr. Henry in the face.

Now, unfortunately, it's
gonna be our villains,

then it's gonna go back to all of you.

- And then is there an
advantage for a different roll

for the key that's in-
- [Hank] For the sharp.

- The new key?
- [Danielle] Mm.

- [Brennan] Oh.
- [Siobhan] Oh, yes.

- Conrad's key is in fight so.
- [Siobhan] In fight.

- Let me ask you this.

So you triggered the fight response there.

Do you want to give your
bonus to fight right now

or do you want to give your
bonus to maybe something else.

Something mysterious.
- Uh...

- [Brennan] Maybe something that's like,

this console has never even had before.

- Whoa.

- Uh, sure, let's go mystery.

(Trapp laughing)
- You go mystery,

and we will resolve that when
it is our PIs' next turn.

But for now, we gotta
have our villains go.

- Yeah.
- So,

first things first, these gangsters

are gonna keep trying
to shoot your dick off.

- Oh, haha, you've seen what
happened the first time.

Back for round two, boys.

(Danielle laughing)

- So this is another 14.

Go ahead and give me your sturdy check.

(Siobhan chuckles)

- I don't think that's
going to happen again.

- Well, we'll see, we'll see.
- Oh, it seems unlikely.

- [Brennan] But it's pretty-

You've taken all of their
fire from everything else.

(die rolling)

- It's one.
- One!

- One.
- [Danielle] Fuck!

- Okay, so-
- Hold on, hold on.

I might be able to spend some Moxie?

No, no, no, no. I don't think so.

Two? Eh, eh?

Sturdy, I don't have sturdy.

All right, it's fine. It's fine.

- You turn around to see
the revolution coming,

- You turn around to see
the revolution coming,

every kind of pleasure.

Who knew? You look at Conrad
turning this key of conscience.

Who knew that doing the right
thing could feel this good.

And as you turn your back,
the gangsters unload.

(gunshots blasting)

- Oh, this was a mistake!
(players laughing)

As they unload,
(ball sliding on a track)

Don Avaricci steps right next to you.

(somber piano music)

Gun drawn, he says, we coulda
had something great, Fucks.

And instead you had to
go and get a big heart.

Shoulda kept it as big, old balls.

And he points his gun down,

and he's gonna roll a sharp check.

That is an eight plus four,
which is going to be a 12.

Go ahead and give me a sturdy check.

(die rolling)

- Five.
- Oof.

- Having sustained a
heavy injury before...

- Have I?

- Well, you just got
shot by a bunch of shots.

- [Trapp] You just got shot.
- Oh yeah, I did, yes.

I have. I was shot many times.

(ball sliding on a track)

- [Hank] Now, that's kind of...

(ball clunks)
- [Brennan] Hm?

- Oh, just feels like a little bit...

(players laughing)

- Oh, not, not...
- Oh, great. (laughing)

- All of you watch the trains coming.

Conrad, you turn to look
and you see Don Avaricci

(gun firing)
fire. (grunts)

Dan, you fall to the floor.
(mimics body falling heavily)

As you fall,

(gasps) you feel blood
seeping out through your body.

You feel a little square in your coat,

You feel a little square in your coat,

a little piece of paper

that you can see is soaking up the blood

and you look down and see the words,

please reconsider.

- (sorrowfully) Dan!

- Dan, with what strength you have left,

is there anything you say in this moment.

- Conrad, you little shit, get over here!

(players laughing)

Oh, no, no, no. Hold on, hold on.

- Okay, okay, okay!
- Wait, wait.

Wait, wait, no, no,
no. They want you dead.

- Oh, okay, okay.
- Stay hidden!

And that's the, I revise
my previous statement!

Stay hidden. (death gurgles)

- You watch Dan Fucks

actually give you a piece
of advice to protect you.

Tells you to stay.
(players laughing)

Tells you to stay hidden as you (gasps)

feel your last gasps

as all of you watch with horror

as Dan falls to the ground, blood pooling.

Madam Loathing whips around with the key

and is gonna go for The Fix.

She's gonna roll,

and this is gonna be a
sturdy check from you.

She's gonna roll in front of the board.

She adds plus four to this.

(gasps) She only rolls
a four. That's an eight.

- I mean, there's every...

(clears throat) Anyway.


- [Brennan] 11!
- 12!

[Hank, Freddie, and Brennan] 12!

- She comes at you with a key and says,

do what you were meant to do, Fix, serve!

And, rah! The key goes
right for your chest.

You, whoom, zip out of the way

with this copper pipe in front of you.

With that, Ivana goes to
leap in front of Stacy,

towards the booth there.

You hear shouting up from the bell tower

as it sounds like Lance is
just firing at gangsters

down in the street that are
trying to join their boss.

You hear the sound of
the people behind you

rushing up from the train station.

And with that, Justin
is gonna actually leap

at Madam Loathing as well.
(tense combat music)

Justin's gonna roll.

He gets a six.
- Good boy, Justin!

- She's gonna roll her sturdy.

(die rolling)

She gets a 12 which explodes.

- [Trapp] Stop it.

- She (grunts) swats the dog away,

and Justin hits the
ground (pained wailing)

and skids off a little bit.

She turns around, all of
you, why are you doing this?

She turns around, all of
you, why are you doing this?

Don't you understand?
We're a miserable wretch!

Toiling away, unloved, unworthy.

Don't you understand
that all of our misery

comes from who we actually are.

This is our key out of being this person.

This is our key out of being this person.

This gleaming white key
glows in front of you.

Dan bleeds on the floor.

Madam Loathing rears up
to this enormous height.

It is once again all of your turns.

- Thanks for catching all those bullets.

(players laughing)

- Everyone's just like,
busy reloading right now.

- Do we resolve the mystery key first

or do we take our turns first?

- I'm gonna ask us to go in
reverse order of our sneak dice.

Who has the lowest sneak dice here?

- I'm four.
- D4.

So Fix, you're gonna be first to act here.

- I'm in combat with Loathing so I-

- [Brennan] Yeah.
- I feel like

I'm not thinking, not
talking, just fighting.

- Hell yeah. Go ahead, give me...

I'll tell the roll you
need to beat for her.

She rolls a three on sturdy.

- Mm!
- Okay.

- [Brennan] But it's snap
decision so you gotta...

(die rolling)

- Well, I rolled a four.
(players laughing)

- So you, crack!
(metal clangs)

She takes another light
injury. She stumbles away.

And I will say here, on this light injury

you can leave the injury or
you can translate the injury

into potentially disarming
her if you would like to.

- [Hank] Of the key.
- Of the key, yes.

- Hm.

I would like to get that key.

- Fix, you kick off, bam,
hit her long, clawed hand.

Clang, the white key flies up

and you snatch it out of the air.

- How far away from the switchboard am I?

- She was right over it so you're like,

right next to it, essentially.

- Okay.
- You grab the white key.

Holding it in your hand,
you feel its reverberation.

- Do I have the action
enough to all in one motion

(epic movement mouth sounds)

- If you were to put this
into the switchboard,

(fast tense music)

it would...

- [Trapp] Take over Elias'-
- Take over.

It would take over, but
maybe you would be able to

run this mind,

eliminate all distraction forever.

(Danielle gasps)

(Siobhan making concerned sounds)
- A mind of perfect

focus, undivided attention,

endless fixation only on the
objects of your interest.

endless fixation only on the
objects of your interest.

- He thinks about that for a second.

For a fraction of a second.
There aren't very many seconds.

Hm, that's not my job.

- Incredible. You hold the key.

Loathing screeches and-

(Hank swallows)
(Brennan laughing)

- [Danielle] No!

- He does eat a lot of weird
stuff. He did say that.

- You swallow it and feel it
deposit right in your craw.

(players laughing)

- [Trapp] Craw.
- [Danielle] Craw.

- [Trapp] Bird facts.
- [Brennan] Bird facts.

- I didn't know people had those.

(players laughing)

- [Brennan] Incredible,
anyone have a d8 sneak?

- I have a d8 sneak.

- Hunch, that's gonna be you.
You're riding the train up.

You get to the steps.

You see there's Don Avaricci with a gun,

still some gangsters, the
ones that just shot Dan,

and then Madam Self Loathing
who's partially injured

but still in combat with The Fix.

- Can I do a snoop check to see

if there's any fun goodies
on the train I'm riding?

(Freddie laughing)
- Ooh!

- I'm looking for maybe
adrenaline to speed up my friends.

I'm looking for maybe some
cold steaks to help Dan.

I'm looking for...
(Freddie laughing)

I'm looking for any, like,
(Hank squelches steaks)

I don't know what's on these trains,

but let's see what's gonna be in there.

- Give me a snoop check.
We'll call it snoop six.

- Okay.

(tense music)

That is a 12.
- Hell yes.

You see there's a bunch of adrenaline.

If you wanna just grab this
adrenaline and take off with it,

absolutely, you can do that.

- Okay, can I have grab the adrenaline

and just stick it in my own
thigh and just, and I'm, and-

- Yeah, give me a sturdy check

to see how much adrenaline
you can metabolize.

(players laughing)

- That is a three.
(Brennan laughing)

- Shit.

- That is a three. Okay, great.

So I'm gonna say that on
a three you feel yourself

(feral goblin noises)

start to bug out, but I'll say
the way we'll resolve this is

rather than you like,
hulking out and becoming,

you know, like getting a d20 sharp check,

I think that failure
means that your system

begins to become overwhelmed.

(Trapp laughing)

And we're just gonna go
ahead and start to...

(Trapp laughing)

Hold on one second.
- [Danielle] Oh, damn.

- Here we go. Hold on.

(balls clunking, some going off the rails)

- [Hank] Oh god, they couldn't handle it.

- [Brennan] Couldn't handle.

Yeah, the one that fell
in the cracks, that one,

that one's gone.
- That's gone. It's too much.

- [Brennan] Too much

- [Brennan] So you're
like (feral goblin noises)

just start to be filled with Moxie.

- Sure.
- [Brennan] Incredible.

And you can charge up the steps.

- Great.

- As you charge up, we're gonna move on.

Who has a d10 sneak?

Right here? Cool.

What is Imelda gonna do?
- My god.

Well, I'm standing here
still like this, but-

- And you've got these four gangsters

that are just big fans of yours.

- And I got these four gangsters.

You know what I'm gonna do?

I'm gonna say to them,

you don't wanna work for this guy, right?

You could work for one of
the top dogs in the city.

- Give me-
- If you just take him out.

- Give me a slick. Give me slick nine.

- [Trapp] We know they're greedy.

- That's a 25.
(Brennan laughing)

No, a 23.
- [Freddie] Nice!

- 100% of them say, hey, you're right!

Let's kill our old buddies!

And turn around
(quick gun fire blasting)

and just open fire on the other gangsters.

One of them says, should
we talk about payment now?

And they say, no, no, no,
gauche. Talk about it later.

(players laughing)

- And then I wanna yell up,

to my f- to my fiance,
(Brennan laughing)

uh, hey, H. V.

- What's that?
- Just so you know,

I'm gonna need this to
be an open relationship.

I am a woman that can't be tamed.

- You see he says, well,
(laughing) the joke's on you.

My kink is being incredibly
suspicious of my partner!

(players laughing)

- You're perfect!
- You're perfect!

- Get down here and help this man up!

And I'm gonna get him to come
and try and help heal Dan.

- Okay, so H. V. starts to run down.

I'm gonna make, go ahead and
give me a d20 fight check

for your gangsters versus a
d20 from the other gangsters.

- [Siobhan] Oh, great.

- They got a nat 20!

- I got a nat five!

- Okay, so they start opening fire.

(mimics gunshots) The
other guys dive for cover.

That's really their
sturdy check, essentially.

You see H. V. says, I'm coming down.

Oh, we got another one incoming, though.

You see the doors open.
(retro-futuristic music)

And I'm gonna say, Hunch,

you do find some cold, you
do find some cold steaks.

- Oh, great.
- On that train as well.

As you rush up to Dan's
side, you see another figure

burst in through the door
rushing into Oblongata Station

running to Dan on the ground, sliding in.


A man slides in next to
you as you have the steaks,

grabs Dan's hand as you begin

to put them on the bullet wounds.

And Dan, in your last moments
you see a face swim into focus

and go, I told you you'd
never see me again.

(Freddie and Trapp laughing)

Takes your hand. (spits repeatedly)

(players laughing)

And starts to spit in your hand.

And I'm gonna say, give
me one more sturdy check.

- Sure.
- [Brennan] Difficulty of,

difficulty 10 for Dan.

- Great, I've been doing so
bad at these sturdy checks,

but let's see if this does any better.

That's a three, but I have so much Mo-

Is it still four to one?

For sturdy, unfortunately
yes, it's still four to one.

- Let's see what we got.
I need to get seven?

I don't think I have 20 of 'em.

- [Freddie] Wait, can I give you?

Wait, wait, wait, I can
give you sage motivator.

The pep talk I gave you
in this very moment.

- I can create four Moxie
for you. Would that help?

- I can give a plus one.

- No, I need like, 10 more Moxie maybe.

- So I'll say, so you lean down.

This guy starts spitting
into your hand. (spitting)

You see he holds your hand

as the steaks are put on
your body and he leans in.

He goes, Dan, stay with us.

The city needs you.

You're our emergency mayor.
(Freddie and Hank laughing)

Stay with me, buddy.

You feel you have some weak
ability to respond to him.

- Mm, I have no regrets.
I die with no regrets.

A life well lived. A life well lived.

- I pour the room-temperature
vodka over his wounds.

- [Freddie] Ow, ow, ow, ow!
- Just doctoring.

- Very stinging. Ow!
- It's good for ya!

(players laughing)

I slap him across the face
(rhythmic slapping)

a couple times.

- You see the guy says, don't
slap him. That's my son.

(players laughing from shock)

- We're gonna get you back home.

You and me and Donna all
together for Christmas again.

(Freddie laughing at his new papa)

- I would like that.
I'd like that very much.

- We move from there to Anastasia.

- How far away is Self
Loathing from Anastasia?

- Madam Loathing is not far away from you,

and the mist is partially cleared

from the trains approaching
and everything else like that.

You see her sort of locked
in combat with The Fix

who's just smacked the key out of her hand

and grabbed it away from her.

So she's lost the ability to turn people.

- Okay, and so she's
fighting with The Fix.

They're kind of close-up fighting?

- Yes.
- Okay. Mr. Fix, Mr. Fix!

- Yes'm, yes'm.

- And then Anastasia
pulls out her gun. Duck!

(Brennan laughing)

Anastasia shoots Madam Loathing.

- Hell yeah, she's gonna make
a sneak to try and dodge it,

but go ahead and give me a sharp check.

- I really thought she was
yelling a different D word.

(players laughing)

- She gets a three on her sneak.

- Yeah, she's not good at sneaking.

- Okay, come on, baby, come on, baby.

(quietly) Fuck you.
(Hank groans)

I got a two.

- You're gonna fire. Bang! (shouts)

Slides out of the way, however
you sense those bullets

would probably be, that would be quite...

- Good.

- [Brennan] Quite good to
hit her with those bullets.

- That was a sneak?
(ball clunks)

- [Brennan] That was a sneak, yes.

- Okay.

- Conrad, you've turned
the key in conscience.

You see the big guy finishing,
literally looking down

at his unconscious boss on the ground.

You turn your key in a
mysterious direction.

Sneak, snoop, sharp, savvy, sturdy, slick.

Sneak, snoop, sharp, savvy, sturdy, slick.

But perhaps there is
(slow tranquil music)

a stat beyond these.

A stat of the spirit or of the soul.

(Siobhan gasps)

A stat of pure Moxie itself
which conscience alone unlocks.

A stat of pure Moxie itself
which conscience alone unlocks.

Conrad, turning your key,

you feel a power surge through.

The big guy is looking down
at his unconscious boss

splayed out in the middle of the hallway,

has all of these schematics,

has fight and flight
at either side of you.

You stand now at the console
with this new stat which,

as Kids on Bikes, every stat
is assigned a different die.

The only die we have left
to assign is the d100

which is the stat we will assign here.

However, there's also chaos behind you.

Don Avaricci stands
over Hunch and Dan Fucks

with his gun drawn.

Gangsters fire at each other,

some of them completely
loyal now to Imelda Pulse,

others still to Don Avaricci.

And Self Loathing stands in combat with

The Fix and Anastasia Tension.

You and Justin, side by side,
what is Conrad going to do?

- Conrad looks to Madam Loathing.

- [Brennan] Mm-hm.

- She's sustained two
light injuries right now?

- Yes, I believe that is
correct. Yes, absolutely.

- If you're counting the one from...

- Yeah, from before, which I am, yeah.

- Okay, then he calls for her attention.

(Brennan snarls)

Madam Loathing, Madam Self Loathing,

(slow piano music)

I know that the more focus we give to you,

the stronger you get so
I'll make this short.


are seen, and I accept you.

I can't focus on you right
now, but I do need your help.

You serve a purpose.

You've protected a lot of children

even though you don't like them.

So if you can find it within you,

can you please help us
with the big guy right now?

- She is going to roll
a sturdy to resist this.

(die rolling)

She rolls an 11.

Could you kindly roll a d100 for me,

and this will be the
funniest moment in the world

if you roll under it. (laughing)

- An 11?
- [Brennan] An 11.

- 57, my favorite number.

(players laughing)

It's true. It's the
number of Heinz varieties.

(group laughing)

(group laughing)

(group still laughing)

- You... (laughing)

(players laughing again)

I mean, there's no coming back from that.

There's just no coming back from that.

Madam Loathing looks at
you. (inhales sharply)

And as you say you are needed,

you see that this

giant shadowy figure...

diminishes in size

(harsh wind echoes)

away from Self Loathing.

And as you have altered the focus.

In a weird sense, Conrad's view of

all of Mentopolis,

of saving treasures that
shouldn't be thrown away,

of thinking about the
things that the big guy

kind of owes to other
people and the world,

Conrad's view has always kind of moved out

to think of bigger
things and other people,

to think of larger places.

And in moving away, sometimes
the things that up close

are huge and horrifying get
just a little bit smaller,

a little bit more right-sized,

a little bit easier to manage.

And you watch Self Loathing diminish

And you watch Self Loathing diminish

and become that old woman again,

a little bit less monstrous

and she looks and says,

you think...

You think Elias Hodge needs me?

- I think he needs every part of himself,

and you're a part of him.

So am I.

I'm glad to know you.

- She looks out.

And you recognize that all of
these concepts that you are,

some are far away and some are close,

some related and some not.

What is the border of
attention and curiosity

or of pleasure and impulse?

Where do these things begin and end?

Like a city, they all stand taller

because they are interconnected.

And maybe Madam Loathing

changes in this moment a little bit

or maybe instead of
saying that she changes

she just realizes how close
she is to some other things.

She steps forward and in a weird way,

you remember the times
that you were with her

and some nicknames

that friends referred to her by sometimes.

Shame, guilt.

You see that she looks at you,

(tense music)

steps forward towards the control.

Fight or Flight, kind
of react for a moment.

Does anyone here attempt
to stop Madam Loathing

from approaching this control panel

that Conrad has invited her to.

- Trust Conrad.

- [Brennan] She steps-

- Always let your Conrad be your guide.

(players laughing)

- She steps forward, looks at you

and a single tear escapes her eye.

She takes the microphone and says,

now listen to me, you
little piece of shit.

You invented a mind control ray.

Absolutely inexcusable!

(players laughing)

You have fucked up, Elias Hodge!

And you have one chance at
redeeming your miserable life.

Thank goodness your
conscience... came back.

Now, you get those papers,

you step over your unconscious boss,

and you listen to Fight
or Flight or so help me

everything they do to you, you
will well and truly deserve!

(Moxie ball clunks)

(players laughing)

- There was a Moxie stuck
in Danielle's thing.

- Yo, yo!
- [Trapp] You saying run released it.

(players laughing)

- And you see like, literally
the bullet time stops.

You're watching in real time,

Elias (pwoo) sprints for the staircase

and begins to run as fast as possible

as Madam Loathing in front of you

with this new key in this switchboard

appears to be seen from a different angle.

Loathing is a strong word,

but Frank Freeze masqueraded as Leon Logic

and there's someone running
around named Stacy Fakename.

(players laughing)

So you see Madam Loathing go,

I might consider a
change of name, I think.

- I'll leave that up to you.

Also, very scary, very motivating.

(players laughing)

- I think we could work very
well together, you and I.

- (nervously) Okay.
(players laughing)

- Whatever you want.

- That seems right.
- (laughing) Seems right.

You see conscience and self-loathing,

and I will say at this moment
as Self Loathing says that,

on that 57 spirit, we see Wilton

and all these various
couriers in play going,

I'm coming, Mr. Fucks!

And you see sliding in next to Dan Fucks

with a 14 on the die sturdy check,

you see the face of Officer Joie de Vivre.

(players laughing)

Goes, (grunts) and he
goes, (laughs jovially)

I was a rebel spy in the police.

(players laughing)

Vive la révolution.

(players laughing)

And Dan, you come back in
this moment. You come to.

- (gasps to life) My
money! Where's my money?

I was rich! I remember this!

Oh, hello everybody.

- I smack him around again.
(slap) (Freddie grunts)

Come to, Dan,

Dan Fucks! Wake u-
(repeated slapping)

Come to your senses, god!
(repeated slapping)

- As you do all of that, Dan, you come to.

So Fight, Flight, Conrad,
Justin, and Madam Loathing

are all at the console together

as Elias is sprinting down the hallway.

There are still sort of these
fleet of gangsters here.

Avaricci looks at all of you
and says, I don't think so.

This is not how we're gonna
go out, running outta here.

You see he says, Loathing,
you're gonna listen to a kid?

We could be rich! Don't you remember?

So you're holding the key.

He is going to go and
make a strike for you.

I'm gonna need a 10 sturdy from The Fix.

(tense music)

- I can do it if I spend four Moxie.

- You spend the four to survive.

He fires at you
(gun firing)

and you just tank the shot
(gun piercing flesh)

into one of your massive arms.
- That's what they're for.

- You tank that shot, and the gangsters

are now going to open fire as well.

And I think they're
still going for The Fix

'cause you've got the white key.

(gravely) That is an 18 on their check.

- That's a eight.

- You sustain a heavy injury.

(ball sliding on a track)

You watch as The Fix
(mimics shots landing)

gets peppered with bullets
from these gangsters

and Avaricci says, take 'em all down,

every one of these concepts!

Who needs 'em? Highfalutin...

We should have only ever been me.

That's going to be all of your turn now.

I'll let you guys go in
whatever order you want.

- I wanna attack Avaricci.

I assume I'm still on top of the train.

I've pumped some
adrenaline into my system.

- Yes.

- I don't know where he
is in the space, but-

- Yeah, we don't have any
bonuses to sturdy or sharp.

- No, Ivana goes in, puts her key in

and switches it to fight.
- [Trapp] Great.

- Okay, yes, that's it.

- And I'm just gonna full-on
like, dive off of the train

and like, on top of Avaricci
if he's within diving distance.

- Hell yes. Avaricci has
sustained no injuries thus far.

He's gonna roll sturdy.

That's an 11 on sturdy.
Go ahead and roll sharp.

- That is a four, but sharp is,

we get a-
- Yeah.

- [Trapp] We get a bonus on that?

- [Brennan] Now you
get the bonus on sharp.

- All right, time to cash
in some of this Moxie.

- [Hank] Yeah!
- So that's four, eight,

(Moxie balls clunk)

And fuck it, I got a ton.
- [Siobhan] Yeah.

- How much do I have to
beat him for a heavy injury?

- You have to beat him by five.

- All right, 16.

- [Brennan] 16 is beating him by five.

You got an 11.
- Okay. (yells)

- You all watch Hunch Curio

fucking from the top
row, bam, elbow, boom!

Avaricci stumbles backward,
blood running down his face.

Boom, that's Hunch. Who else wants to go?

- I need to go.
- Go.

- I look at Avaricci and I say,

(tense music)

I've not disliked working
for you some days,

but what I have discovered
is that I get to work

for who I want to work for.

And I'd like you to know

that there's little creatures in the sea

that make little lights,

and they're quite pretty little lights.

You can ask Officer Joie de Vivre.

He's tell you he likes 'em.

- (chuckles) And it's c'est magnifique.

(players laughing)

- And it's a little strange
that those little critters

would make those lights,
'cause why would they?

They only make 'em when
they get disturbed,

and I think that that
would cause attention

from little fishes that wanna eat 'em.

But here's what happens.

Those little fishes,
when they suck 'em up,

they glow so bright that now
that little fish is glowing.

Has a little target on its back.

'Cause that little fish ain't
the only fish in the sea.

- (chuckles) Shit!

- Go ahead and make a menacing,

make any kind of check you want.

Make whatever check you wanna make.

(players laughing)

- Oh my god! (laughing) I rolled a one.

- [Brennan] Oh no!

- But I got plus two.
- [Brennan] you got plus two.

- So that's three.

- So he's gonna make his sturdy
check here. You got a three.

- How about I, well, I mean, look,

I don't wanna actually menace him.

- Okay.

- I just, after I said that, I punch him.

- [Brennan] You punch him.

- But which is the same check for me.

- [Brennan] Yes.
- So I still rolled a one.

- So he's gonna roll his sturdy.

He rolled a three!
- Oh...

- [Brennan] Unbelievable!
- Oh!

- What the? My god!

- He rolled a three!
Incredible, you rolled-

- Just flicking him in the forehead.

- You roll a three, and then yeah,

he already has sustained a heavy injury.

So Fix, you go, cock back.

He goes, wow, that's really interesting.

(slow-mo punch landing)

Teeth, boom, pow! Out.

- I'm still on his back. (screams)

(players laughing)

- And he is out like a light.

Avaricci is unconscious on
the ground in front of you.

There are still a group of gangsters here,

and Elias is still running.

Does anyone else...

- Oh, I think to the group
of gangsters I'll stand up

and is like, I returned
like Lazarus from the dead!

Wouldn't you rather work for
an immortal man such as myself?

- [Brennan] Give me a slick check.

- Immortal emergency mayor.

- [Brennan] We'll call it slick eight.

- 13 plus whatever. Yeah, 13.

- The gangsters go, all
right, given that the Don

has been knocked unconscious
and that also a bunch of us

now work for the Pulse Family,

we feel it germane and prudent

(players laughing)

to foreswear our previous
oaths of loyalty to-

- I shout, don't forget
he's the mayor now!

- [Brennan] Oh!
(players laughing)

- Hey, Mr. Mayor, do you
need a campaign committee?

(players laughing)

- It's an unpaid internship.
You'll work many hours!

- Ah, dang!
(players laughing)

Incredible. You see they all
begin to move over to you.

Also, as Elias is running,

anyone here give me a snoop check.

- I'll do it.
- Yeah.

We'll call it a DC eight snoop check.

- Oh, I got it.

- And exploded it and I got a...

- [Freddie] (quietly) 13.

13, thank you for math.

(Hank laughing)

- Can I use my nerves of steel on this?

- [Brennan] Yes, you can.
- May I borrow a Moxie?

- I guess I could spare one.
- Thank you.

(players laughing)

All right, so what was that?
What was the DC on that?

- [Brennan] Eight.
- Okay, I halve it.

- Hell yes. You halve it.

For Anastasia and Imelda,

as you watch Dan yell
with other gangsters,

you see a little thing
blinking not from the oculus

but on the switchboard itself

because it's direct
through the limbic system.

Smell actually bypasses
other sensory stuff

and can go right straight

to the center of the brain on its own.

As Elias is running,
you smell birthday cake.

(Siobhan gasps)
- [Trapp] Oh no.

- We gotta put our finger in it!

- [Freddie] Put his finger in it.

(players laughing)

- I thought we've been through this.

(players laughing)

- So Elias is running, but
you do smell a birthday cake.

- Come on!
- [Danielle] I know.

- It'll be just like old times.

- I'm not sticking my
finger in another cake.

- Come on!

- That's what happened last time.

- Oh, you coward. I run to the mic.

- You run through. Great,
you run to the mic, yeah.

- No, no, no, no, no.

- That was great. Go
ahead and give me slick.

We'll call it slick eight.

(little bursting sound)
- That's, I crit.

- [Brennan] You crit? (laughing)
Go ahead and roll again.

- I got a 19.
- You got 39?!`

- And then add your whatevers.

- And then a plus five.
- [Alex] Oh no!

- So we fully... (laughing)
(players laughing)

We, we...

- I thought there was gonna
be a special animation for it.

- We, we...
(players laughing)

We fully cut from here.

I just, for the first time
in this entire season,

we fully cut to Gobstopper Industries,

and there are bunch of people
in a break room going...

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday dear ♪

- Bam,
(punch connecting)

and you see all of them
watch as Elias Hodge runs in,

decks somebody, grabs the cake.

Not a party he's invited
to. Not his birthday.

And they go, Jesus,
Hodge! What's going on?

- And he says, this company's
evil! Don't you get it?

It's absolutely evil! I jumped
out a window and shit myself!

(players laughing)

Mr. Henry's as good as dead, I think.

I don't know. I didn't check.

This is my cake now!
(slurps) Fuck all of you!

And sprints out of the room and that is...

And with that we return
to Oblongata Station.

Any other actions?

- Uh, yeah. Yeah, I do.
(Siobhan laughing)

Over by the controls, has Elias

er have we, has Elias
decided what he's gonna do

with the documents yet.

- He has not.
- Okay.

So I am going to pick up the mic.

(microphone feedback rings)

Mr. Hodge. Hi, Mr. Hodge.

Hi, it's me, attention. Oh, you know me.

Hi, so I had a great idea

about what you could do
with those documents.

Have you thought about taking
them to the local newspaper?

- (claps) Yes!

Go ahead, this is literally a slick three.

(Siobhan chuckles)

- Do the thing. Do the thing where I win.

(eventful music)


- Ah!
- [Siobhan] Ooh.

(players laughing)

- You hear coming over that speaker,

you can actually hear Elias
reverberating through this new,

like, key of conscience.

You hear a thing like, yeah,
take it to the newspaper.

And you see you can see stairs,
like sprinting downstairs.

Take it to the newspaper.
I'll let 'em know.

This is proof. I have
all the proof I need.

These are all official
Gobstopper documents,

(proud) and I'll be a hero.

People will celebrate my name.

(excited) I'll be a rogue whistleblower!

And you just see so much
(train whistle blowing)

coming off the trains.
(players laughing)

And just Wilton saying, oh,
this is better than cumming!

(players laughing)
(train whistle blowing)

It's like cumming from the soul!

- It's souljaculation.

(Brennan laughing)

- And you see that he
sprints down the steps.

And Conrad, if there's
anything else that you wanna do

that would be our last
turn of this combat.

You see him sprinting down the street.

Give me one last, actually give me one-

give me snoop four.

(die rolling)

- Five.
(Brennan gasps)

- He makes it to the pavement

with illegal mind control documents

and a stolen birthday cake in his hands.

And he bumps into someone on the sidewalk.

And you see a beautiful
person you recognize

from a coffee shop, look up.

Oh, so sorry. I, uh-

And you see there is a
moment where he's just met

this person in front of
him that he has not seen

since he stopped in that
coffee shop so long ago

and had that moment where
someone was kind to him.

That's what you see on your snoop check.

- Ms. Tension, could I
borrow the mic real quick?

I speak into the mic.
- There you go.

- [Brennan] Mm-hm.

- Uh, hey, big guy.

Um, it's a weird time, but,

just ask for her number.

(players laughing)

- We cut back to the outside world.

(players laughing)
- Give her some cake.

- You see Elias go, hi, I'm
so sorry. I'm in a huge hurry.

I think people might be after
me. That sounds paranoid.

But the...
(players laughing)

But the important thing is this.

I should of said something
before, but I was doubting myself

and I felt bad about the dan-

But you know, all that stuff.

And I think here, Hunch, you
notice the book in your hands.

And a little breeze blows through

from that mist and the steam coming out.

And you see as Elias is talking he goes,

you know, I've felt self-conscious.

I think I've felt
self-conscious a long time.

Stuff happened.
(sweet piano music)

You know, a long time ago

this ice skating rink thing happened,

and it's just been on my
mind sort of ever since.

- I grab the mic and say,

ask her to go ice skating with you.

- Do you wanna go ice skating with me?

And in this moment, Hunch, you look down

and you see this memory
of this ice skating thing.

And it's true, young Elias did stand up

for his little sister

and he did get hit with that ice skate.

He got that scar on his head.
(piano music)

And you know, it's so
awful because his sister...

And then you start to see,
this book is dog-eared.

It's been taken out of the
library a lot of times.

- People've added a lot
of fun stuff to this.

(players laughing)

- And he looks back and you
realize his memory altered

over and over 'cause he
remembers people laughing,

but suddenly he remembers

his sister ran away not embarrassed.

There's something he forgot

or was part of that memory so long ago.

She ran away to yell at people
to stop laughing at him.

I think I owe my sister a call.

I think I owe her a
call. We should catch up.

But that's not here or there. I, I, uh...

You see he says-

- I'm a totally normal guy.
- He says,

I'm a totally normal guy!
(players laughing)

He says, look, I'm a totally normal guy,

but here, let's get...

I- I- I'd love to take you
out ice skating sometime.

You see she goes, I'd love
that. Hands her number.

And he says, that's great.
Do you want a birthday cake?

And you see she just goes,

(confidently confused) no.
(players laughing)

And you see there's a tap
on the big guy's shoulder

and he wheels around and you
see there's someone saying,

Mister, get away, you can't be out here.

This sidewalk's covered in
broken glass and human shit!

(players laughing)

- And,
(players laugh some more)

- [Brennan] You're standing in the middle-

- I grab the mic and I say, ignore him.

Get the number and get to the newspaper.

Get the number and get to the newspaper.

Get the number-
- Yes, I'm with Fix

on this one.
- And get to the newspaper.

Think ahead a little bit.

- You hand the mic.

You see she hands her
number and he says...

You see he stuffs it
in the top of the cake

and just like, puts the little card there.

He says, thank you. I'll
give you a call real soon.

And you hear clomping and you see

in the lobby behind you, there he is!

And you see he puts up a hand

and he steps out into the
street and hails a cab.

(rain pouring)
And as he hails the cab,

(door slams)
you see,

(Siobhan gasps)
(car driving)

speeds away as shouts fade behind him,

(slow noir music)

having stolen the documents,
(car driving ambience)

acted on his conscience,

potentially saved the world
from a terrible danger

and gotten the number of someone

that could truly make him happy

as well as most of a birthday cake.

(players laughing)

And as he speeds away, he breathes,

and that brain floods as prohibition ends.

He gets to well and truly
feel good about himself.

And as he does, the pressure fades,

(the pressure finally releases, for good)

and I turn the story back to all of you.

(heartbeat steadies to normal)

What becomes of the story of the big guy

in the days following the
events of this wild night

in the city of Mentopolis?

- He makes it to the
newspaper and he says,

hey, I need, uh, sanctuary, sanctuary.

And they're like, this isn't Notre Dame.

And he's like, I just
like, a whistleblower.

I blow whistles. And they're
like, okay, I gotcha.

So then he goes in, he
gives them the download

on everything that's happened

and the newspaper calls the police

because they've got all
the evidence right there,

and the cops come in and they place him

under protective custody since
he's been, like, you know,

folks have been trying to
like, kill him and chase him.

So he's chilling right
now in protective custody

in a hotel where he...

has bought himself some better shampoo

so he can get rid of the dandruff

because eventually he's gonna come out

and he's gonna go on
that ice skating date.

Also, he needs to go out

and buy himself a pair of
ice skates because his feet

are bigger than they
were when he was a kid.

(Freddie laughing)
- Incredible.

The newspaper, all this huge scandal

and terrible ramifications
for Gobstopper Industries

and with all the people involved

with this scandalous mind
control ray technology.

And afterwards you've all
had such a crazy long night.

You go by Nostalgia's Diner

to sort of put the pieces together

after all of that.

The diner is filled with
like, Ivana and Stacy

and even Frank Freeze
comes by, Justin's in there

and H. V. Lance and the
hand spit guy, Wilton.

(players laughing)

- Did Pasha come by?
- Aw.

- I think the door opens
and Pasha does come by.

- That's nice.
(players laughing)

- She looks around. Um, hi.

Um, sorry to, um, bother you
but, (chuckles awkwardly)

Um, sorry to, um, bother you
but, (chuckles awkwardly)

it's very nice to see you again.

Did you know that diners,
the history of diners

actually originate from
dining cars on trains,

and the very first diners were actually

dining cars of trains

that had been taken out of service

and were used stationarily as restaurants

'cause they were cheap and affordable.

- Fix just looks at her.

He can't think of any facts.
(Brennan laughing)

- [Alex] Aw! (laughing)
(Freddie clapping)

- Hunch is in the booth,

and he's adding his fun
addition to the memory.

And in the memory now Elias is like,

eight feet tall and ripped.

(players laughing)

And he's just like, it's
like, yeah, a real...

It's like in that way like,
when you're telling a story

of an encounter and you're like,

and I fucking told him this.

It's just like a much bigger
version of himself in there.

And he turns to the rest
of the group and goes,

I still think there's
just one more loose end.

And I want to use all my Moxie

(Freddie and Hank laughing)

and do a snoop check and
see if I can find any leads

that can lead me towards Foot Stuff.

(players laughing)

- [Brennan] Give me snoop.
(Trapp and Siobhan laughing)

We'll call it difficulty 10.
- Okay.

(die rolling)

(little bursting sound)
That's a, I crit.

(players laughing)
It explodes.

That's 12 plus...
(die rolling)

Two is 14, 15

plus another 12.

(players laughing)

- [Hank] Be really sure on this one.

- For a 27, right?

- Okay.
(players laughing)

I'll say this, the ice
skating date goes really well.

(players laughing)

(players groaning)
And all...

- Ugh, the ice skates.

- Ice skates, ugh!

- They're the best for foot stuff.

(players laughing)

- It's extra sweaty.
- On the night of that date

you're like, out on a
corner under a street lamp

taking your cigarette and you look out

and see a 40-foot
sasquatch just go (growls)

(players laughing)

And take it's-
- Another case closed.

- And see that sasquatch
takes its very big feet

and wanders away down the street.


Elias does this very heroic thing,

and his life is going well.

What happens of our Prefrontal
PIs within Mentopolis?

- So I feel like, I think we cut

to the front of Sugah's now.

I've spent my wealthy on really, you know,

decking out the place.

It's like, lights, neon.

The lights are animated and everything.

And I think I'm here
showing Conrad around,

if that's all right.

Would you like to join this scene?

- I would love to.

- Conrad, you little shit!
(players laughing)

- H-hey, I'm a little bit taller now.

(group laughing)

- [Trapp] Medium-sized shit.

- You medium-sized rapscallion!

I may have judged you harshly.
(jazzy lounge music)

I'd like to show you around.

I know you've been scrabbling
around in the streets here.

Well, I have a little
bit of scratch left over

when I was doing the
renovations to my club, you see.

Here, follow me. I have
something to show you.

And so he busts into the
door. The place is decked out.

It's full of people dancing around.

The floors are gleaming. Everything's new.

All the new countertops,
new seats, everything.

I say, ah, it's all through
here, though. Here, follow me.

And we go through the back and
we snake through the kitchen.

It's like the scene in Goodfellas.

It's a busy kitchen.
(busy kitchen ambience)

Over here, and I push on the
door into the back alleyway.

This is your alley now!

I put a little overhanging eve for you.

I know you like sleeping on the street,

the little rapscallion that you are,

but I think we could
perhaps be, mm, partners.

Of course, the rent is due
on the first of every month.

- (in awe) Wow.
- And you will take a 30,

I will take a 30-70.

I will be the 70, you'll
be the 30 on the cut

in terms of all the new business

that you're bringing to my club.

- Wow, Mr. Fucks, the inside was so nice.

Thank you for this little
bit of your outside.

(players laughing)

And you know what, I
think with this new money,

I'm gonna buy myself a new jacket.

It's gonna be green.

(players laughing)

- [Brennan] Hell-
- A strong sense of pleasure

slightly tempered by
conscience sounds pretty fun.

(players laughing)

- Dan Fucks becomes the impresario

of this whole neighborhood
of pleasures of theaters

and bars and all this incredible stuff.

Someone comes up to you,
I think, at one point.

Hans Schadenfreude goes,

Mr. Fucks, you were
mayor for a second there.

Did you not want to run for mayor?

- No, no, no, you see, public office,

front-facing public office
is not the place for me.

I would rather control things
behind the scenes, you see.

Ah, Hans, I'm glad that you are here.

Is my brother Wilton here?
- You see-

- For revolution still foments
in the hearts of the people!

- Oh yes, revolution. Very exciting.

I cannot wait for the
wealthy elite to find out,

you know, the 1%.

When they fall I will enjoy it.

- Yes, yes, yes!

- And you see with Conrad living here,

you see Justin with you is
wagging his tail. (pants)

And says, you're business
partners with Dan Fucks now?

- Well, well, I don't
really need the money,

but he's a good friend, and you?

- You see Justin looks
over at you, Conrad,

and sort of goes over
and sits in your lap,

Dan for a second and says,

I could think of a bunch of reasons

why it's good for us to get what we want.

(players laughing)

- You're my best friend.

- You're my best friend.

(slobbery licking noises)

(players laughing)

Incredible, and for the
rest of our Prefrontal PIs,


how does their stories end in Mentopolis?

- I think for Anastasia,

so she obviously writes this

huge exposé for the paper

about everything that has happened.

And so now because of all of her efforts,

her editor has promoted her

from about two or three column inches

in the lifestyle section
on page like, five or six.

She is now on page two with about four

to five inches of room, but
she's climbing her way on up.

And one night she goes out to

visit her friend, Mr. Fucks,

and her friend, Conrad.

And while she is sitting there

drinking her room-temperature vodka,

she is joined by a woman
(sultry jazz music)

named Fawn.

- Ooh!

- And they begin to have a conversation

wherein Fawn spends most of her time

telling Anastasia how much
she likes and appreciates her.

telling Anastasia how much
she likes and appreciates her.

And of course Fawn's like,


what can I do to make you
as happy as you make me?

And Anastasia says, (sighs contentedly)

just keep paying attention to me.

- (laughing) Aw, oh, I love that.

- [Alex] Aw!

- And I think at the end of that,

Frank Freeze also has a
conversation and says,

I read that piece in the
paper, that's amazing.

Have you ever thought about
running for public office?

- Hmm...

- That day in court was incredible.

(Freddie laughing)

You, I mean, you have to understand,

they arrested the DA in the courtroom

based on the proceedings
of an unrelated trial.

(players laughing)

- Hmm, what would my slogan be?

- I hate to say it, but...

And you see he takes a little thing out

that just says, pay attention.

(Danielle and Hank laughing)

- Nice.

- Mr. Freeze, I think we've
got a lot of work to do.

(freezes up from the pressure)

(players laughing)

- From there, for Hunch
and Imelda and The Fix.

- Yeah, so I'm having, having

some fries still with Pasha.

And I'm like, you know, I'd
like to go take you to a place

that I know pretty well.

And I head out going
down to Madam Loathing's.

And I bring her along with
me and we knock on the door,

soft as I can and it's still like

(pounds table aggressively)

(players laughing)

- Everybody's awake.

(players laughing)

- And Madam Loathing comes
to the door, and I'm like,

I wanna talk to Madam Loathing,

but I'd like you to go on inside.

I think there might be somebody
waiting in there for you.

(Danielle gasps)

And Pasha goes on in
(tender music)

and inside there's a 22-year-old man

wearing full hockey pads.

He's got a helmet with like,
a little half face shield,

but like a nice one.

And he's got his skates on.

(softly) And she just runs
over and she's crying,

and I can't talk about
it 'cause I'll cry too.

(Freddie laughing)

But while they're catching up,

'cause I don't need to
be involved in that...

- I think you see, by the way,

as that helmet comes off
of that hockey player

as he greets his long-lost sister,

you see as he says,

I'm sorry I was gone for so long.

I guess I was just lost
thinking about the past

and thought I could never come back.

You see the waiter from
Nostalgia's takes his mask off

who was Ichabod Ice
Skates this whole time.

And he hugs his sister and she
hugs him and weeps and says,

Fix, I'll never be able
to thank you enough.

- And I say, well, after 20
years of marriage, I bet you'll,

you'll be mad at me for something.

- You see as you say that she
says, 20 years of marriage?

Do you propose?

- (nervously) Oh, yeah,
that was what that was.

(players laughing)

- You see she says, I do! Sweeps you up.

I think Madam Loathing comes
out and says, what's this?

Some kind of proposal in
this extremely sad building?

(players laughing)

- You know, honey, I'm...

Honey was a weird thing
to call you, but whatever.

It's the '30s.
(players laughing)

I don't think it is sad in here.

I heard that you might be
thinking of a name change.

Did you know that the North
Pole is actually a South Pole

because when you look at a
compass, it points north.

But the north pole of the
compass is what's pointing north,

and north poles point to the south poles.

So when we go to the North Pole,

it's actually the South Pole.

I think maybe you also aren't exactly

what you've been calling yourself.

- Smart enough for this?

- Everybody get their pens out.

- [Brennan] Yeah, starts
writing that down.

- [Hank] North pole points to
the South Pole. I'm confused.

- You see she looks at you and says,

that's a very fun fact about compasses.

- I have others.
- I have one, too.

And she reaches around
her neck and pulls a chain

like the ones that all these
keys had been attached to

and pulls a compass out.

Says, I've had this for too long.

You should give this to Conrad.
And hands a compass to you.

You should give this to Conrad.
And hands a compass to you.

And she... (laughing)

And she says, I think I'd like to go

on a vacation for a while.

If you're looking, and she
looks at you and Pasha,

who holds your hand and you see Ichabod

sort of smiling over in the corner.

If you're planning on getting married,

then you'll need to get a house.

And I have one that I've just
decided to put on the market.

And I have one that I've just
decided to put on the market.

It's a little bit dingy,
but with some love,

I think it might be a rather nice place,

although it comes with a
large pack of children.

- These kids are pretty great.

They know all kinds of weird shit.

(players laughing)

- You see that as she
says, call me Guilta.

(players laughing)

And she talks to you and Pasha.

She gets a deed for the house.

She's gonna go away for a long time

and figure out some shit
she's gotta deal with.

And she gives you this moral compass.

(Hank swallows)

(players laughing)

- I'm sorry, that was just a reaction.

It happens sometimes when
people give me things.

- I think, you know, and you guys

spend so many happy days
fixing up the house.

When Chief Tightass dies,

the police department is abolished.

(players laughing)

All they've ever done
is just shoot up places

and crash cars and fucking
ruin investigations.

Everything should have just
been Hunch the whole time.

(players laughing)

So she loses her job, but she gets a job

at her alma mater, FSU,
Flow State University.

- [Alex] (laughing) Aw.

And you spend many happy days surrounded

by kids jumping up and down
and pulling on your sleeves

saying, did you know, did
you know, did you know?

(players laughing)

(cool closing music)


- Imelda elopes with hypervigilance.

Her parents are very
hopeful that this means

that she'll finally settle
down and live a quiet life.

That doesn't happen in
any way, shape, or form.

She's at Sugah's every night.

But after a few months to years of this,

she's feeling a little bit empty inside

and she realizes that
there's something missing.

And one day she goes up
to a rickety old office

and knocks on the door.

And when it's opened,

she says to her good friend,

Chattanooga Choo Choo.

That's that song you couldn't remember.

- That was the song.
(players laughing)

Yeah, for sure. Yes, that was it.

That is for sure, that was
what. Another case closed.

- That's all for Dimension 20: Mentopolis.

(players laughing)

Thank you so much for watching,

and we'll see you next
time here on Dimension 20.

(players clapping)

Oh, to you. To all of you.

To all of you, to all
of you, to all of you.

(crew members cheering)
(players clapping)

(upbeat jazz music)

(Hank cheers)