Dimension 20 (2018-…): Season 18, Episode 4 - In the Heart of Death - full transcript

The Questing Queens face off against their assorted foes in the throne room of Thanara.

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- [Jujubee] Ladies, stealth check time!

- [Alaska] Don't I have
some perception shit?

♪ Boss ass bitch ♪

- [Bob And Monét] Check your
perception before you come for me.

(queens laughing)

- [Bob] Everyone think 20.
- [Everyone] 20!

♪ Boss ass bitch ♪

- [Bob] I have anxiety!

- [Jujubee] See, I knew it was that bitch.

Can I go invisible right now?

- [Bob] Twyla, you are a loose cannon.



♪ Boss ass bitch ♪

- [Monét] Kill her.
- Kill her now!

- I knew it!
- Oh, fuck!

- [Monét] You are assaulting the man

with a no-knock warrant.

- [Bob] Troyánn is saucy.

♪ Boss ass bitch ♪

- Ladies-
I wish I was alive!

(squeaky) I think we should
get naked and see what happens.

(gravelly) Servants of the Fae Realm.

There is legend of a witch.

- [Jujubee] Hey, that was
really emotional and beautiful.

♪ Boss ass ♪
- [Jujubee] Bitch!

(Monét laughs)



- Hello, one and all!

Welcome to the thrilling finale of

"Dimension 20: Dungeons and Drag Queens."

I'm your humble Dungeon
Master, Brennan Lee Mulligan.

With me, for the very last
time, our questing queens.

Say hi, questing queens.

- [Queens] Hi, questing queens.

- I don't want it to
be our very last time.

- I know.
- [Bob] I don't either.

- Last time, it's our last time this time.

- This time.

- But I do wanna get
out of the Underworld.

(all laughing)

That I do want.

- It's not cute down here.

(Brennan laughs)

- I'm kinda comfortable.

- [Bob] Well your whole dark-sided family

hanging out down here.

- Well, enjoy everyone else, yep.
(Brennan laughs)

- We see the throne room of Thanara,

goddess of the Underworld.

- Wow.

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music continues)

(dramatic music continues)

(dramatic music continues)

- Here she is, seated in her throne,

and by her side, Alacranos.

- Oh!
- Oh!

- Her scorpion champion.

- [Bob] Honey, she got more legs

than a bucket of chicken.

He literally does have more
legs than a bucket of chicken.

(all laughing)

As an arachnid, he literally has more legs

than a bucket of chicken.
- [Monét] You know, honey.

That stinger is doing her right.

- [Bob] Henny.
- [Jujubee] I think she's the top.

- [Bob] I'm not gonna lie,

the stinger looked bigger in the picture.

- [Jujubee] I think she's the top, yeah.
- I'm not gonna lie,

his stinger looked bigger in the picture.

- Did it really?

- Not gonna lie, it did
look bigger in the picture.

Look at this weapon, girl.

What is-

It's like a spear,

but then it has little pieces on the side.

That will hurt you.

- Thank you, Bob.

- Surrounding the throne, as well, are,

I'm afraid to say it,
your assembled enemies.

- Oh god.

- [Brennan] We see Zaria
Hex, the Blood Queen.

- [Jujubee] She looks fierce.
- [Alaska] Scary!

- [Brennan] Very frightening.

- [Monét] Oh my gosh,

she's like the Scarlet Witch on crack.

- Let me see, can you
put her close to my face?

Ooh!
- [Monét] Kill her, kill her now!

- Yeah, bite her ear.
- Wow, that's so cool.

- Who emerges from behind the throne.

- Honestly, whoever's working

in costume design here is eating.

- The art department is insane.
- Oh the art department,

we must once again shout out Rick Perry,

the whole incredible art department.

Addie, Katie, Raven, Shane,

all the amazing artists
we've had on this season.

- You would look good
in that outfit, Alaska.

That would look real good.

- Can I borrow that, Zar?

(all laughing)

- [Brennan] Flying up by her side,

Morgan of the Glaring Sun.

- [Bob] Oh look at the spear on this one.
- [Monét] Oh, wow!

Oh my god!
- Skinty, honey.

- [Jujubee] Look at the wings.

- [Alaska] She's flying.
- [Monét] That looks great.

- [Brennan] She's flying, it's true.

- [Bob] She's coming for me.

- She is coming for you, indeed.

We have Keena of Everdeep.
- [Monét] Keena!

Exactly how I described her.

- [Brennan] Boom, there you go.

The green skin and the black hair.

- [Bob] And that's the hook?
- [Brennan] And the chain with the-

- [Bob] Can I get a good
look at, oh yeah, she-

- [Monét] That hook, honey.
- This one's a mess.

- That's cool.
- She's messy.

- An absolute mess,
leaping down into the fray.

And then-

- Yeah let's see, let's see your uncle.

- Uncle Kerwyn.

- Oh shit.

- [Brennan] Now suited up
for battle, here he is,

the Duke of the Foehammers.

- [Jujubee] Oh, I pictured
him like Patrick Swayze.

- I guess he had time to
get dressed too, didn't he?

(all laughing)

Had to stop by and grab a
little something shiny, honey.

- Exactly.

- Shiny, kinda like my vagina.

- But, hey.

You're not here.

You're not here to see these enemies.

In fact, I think we're hoping

that these enemies are all met

with a swift defeat.
- Oh ours?

So, it is with pride and joy

that I would love to hand to you, Twyla.

(Alaska squeals)

- She's so little.
- Oh my god.

Look at her little butterfly
wings, she's so cute!

- Oh my god.
- Troyánn.

- Troyánn, look at her blue ass!

(Brennan laughs)

Troyánn looks so cute.

- [Bob] Oh, Troyánn!
- [Alaska] Troyánn.

- [Bob] Got some jugs, honey.
- [Jujubee] Twyla, wow.

- [Brennan] Incredible.
- [Alaska] So pretty.

- [Monét] Look at Twyla.

Twyla better be in a flying bevel.

You better work, girl.

Passé, right?

- Tendu, fondue.

- Gertrude.

- [Bob] Yeah, that's her!

- Let me see Gertrude.

- So sweet and anxious, oh Gertrude.

- Oh my gosh, look at your horns.

- Oh my god, and the hair
actually looks like my hair today.

(Brennan laughs)

- [Bob] She better werk, oh my gosh.

- [Jujubee] That dress is a tea length.

- [Bob] Look at that!
- [Jujubee] This is cool.

- [Alaska] Look at huh.
- [Monét] Thank you.

- [Alaska] She's fierce.

- Oh yes, oh wait look at her, wait,

what is this in your hand?

Is this your orb of magic?
- [Brennan] It's a spell.

- [Bob] It's magic.
- [Brennan] Yeah, it's magic.

- Oh my god look at, yeah, you look great.

- She's hot. - [Jujubee] Hold
on, the businesswoman in me

wants to reproduce a whole bunch of these.

(Brennan and Monét laughing)

- And of course, Princess.

(Monét laughing)

- [Bob] Why are you laughing at Princess?

- [Jujubee] Look at her tutu.

She is so hot.

- [Monét] You look so good, bitch.

Okay, Princess has been to
Barry's a couple times, okay?

- [Bob] She is Barry,
- She is Barry.

Princess looks fierce, bitch.

- She's so cute, I wanna be her.

- Honestly, Princess is giving, honey.

- [Monét] The scrunchie.

- Honestly, she's amazing.
- [Monét] Wow.

- Princess better.
- Oh, incredible.

- That's fierce.

- That's so good.
- I love her.

- I got, okay I gotta take my
jacket off for this, hold on.

It is getting wild up in here, honey.

Woo!

- Oh, she got nice cheeks, too.

Look at those cheeks.

- [Monét] Troyánn looks fierce.
- Monét had an idea for us.

- Oh yes.
- [Brennan] Yes.

- So going into this final battle,

we were gifted by the
lovely people here at "D20,"

their own personalized die?

- [Brennan] Mm-hmm.

- And we feel that we're gonna

strike the ones that we brought in.

(Brennan gasps)
- Okay.

- And bring in the era, the
dawning of the "D20" die.

- Oh, beautiful.

- So we're christening
these die in this battle.

- Yes.
- [Brennan] Here we go.

- So if we win, it's 'cause I had

a great idea to do this, okay?

- [Brennan] Incredible.

- And if we don't win?
- If we lose, it's because y'all cursed

these motherfuckin' die.

(Brennan laughs)

- Right now, I need help finding out

which ones go back and which ones go.

- So, let's go ahead and break them in.

First of all, I would love all of you

to place your minis on
the board, before we roll.

So, go ahead, this platform
right here on the stone.

In the middle of that platform,

go ahead and place your minis.

- [Alaska] This one?
- Yeah, that one right there.

In whatever order you'd be standing in.

- I'll be toward the front,
because I'm strong and big.

- [Monét] Yeah, sis.
- [Brennan] So there's Princess.

- Let's stand side by side.

'Cause I'm trying to get some courage, so-

- [Brennan] I love it.
- Gertie's gonna get up there.

She's done hiding in the shadows.

- Oh.

- And for you to know-
- Was that a bad idea?

- No, that's wonderful.

And for you to know, every one of these

little sort of mini squares here,

if you notice these one inch squares?

That equates to about five feet.

So when you think about,

so if you move, like for
example, Princess moves 40 feet,

that's the equivalent of eight squares.

- Okay, got it.

- And talk to me about
the distance we can cover,

like what about the space in between?

- [Brennan] So those
spaces are very deadly.

Empty void opens
underneath these platforms

in front of the throne.

- [Monét] These are floating platforms?

- These are floating platforms

that fall away into empty
nothingness below you.

- So how do we know how much,

how do we find out the range
our spells and attacks have?

- Your spell cards will
list a range on them.

- Got it.

- Some spells have shorter
ranges than others.

Your weaponry also has ranges.

Your longbows, for example,
have different lengths.

There are some lengths
that you can hit normally.

There are other lengths that
you can hit with disadvantage,

but I believe some of you
also have some abilities

that change in different ways.

We can cover that as you ask

whether things are possible or not.

This is, of course, the biggest
battle of the adventure,

so feel free to ask for
clarifications and points of order,

but let's christen these new dice,

let's break in these new dice
with rolling for initiative.

So let's go ahead and roll
for initiative for combat,

and let me know what you get.

- All right, initiative, let's do it.

- [Bob] All right, that's gonna tell us-

- Initially I was afraid
to do this, but I'm happy.

(Brennan laughs)

- Here we go.

(new dice clacking)

- [Monét] Woo, my god.
- Where's initiative?

- 12.
- [Monét] Jesus Christ.

- [Jujubee] 14.
- [Brennan] 12.

With initiative added in, right?

- Yeah.
- 12 with initiative.

- [Bob] My initiative is,
wait, where's my initiative?

- 26.
- [Alaska] It's up at the top of the page.

- 26, I have 13.

- [Brennan] 26, 13-
- I have nine.

- [Monét] 13 for Troyánn.

- And nine for Gertrude.

- So I lied, I have a
nine plus 12, actually.

That was a nine, not a six.

- 12 for Gertrude, 13 for Troyánn,

26 for Twyla, and Princess
had a 12 as well, right?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

Very, very cool.

All right, we're gonna let
it fall where it falls.

- Now Brennan, it's not lost on me,

and I just kinda realized this.

You're, we're kinda fighting you.

(queens laughing)

You are the enemy.

- The enemy and the friend.

- And the friend.
- Frenemy.

- Well, you know?

- The fren-enemy.

- But yeah, the Dungeon
Master is a position

of both collaborator,
and at times, opponent.

- So master of manipulation.

(Brennan laughs)

- So, we are going to break into combat.

- So, we are going to break into combat.

I will tell you right now,
in the order that you had,

your enemies have certain
initiative orders as well,

but the order that you will
be acting in is Twyla first,

then Troyánn,

Princess and Gertrude, you
act on the same initiative,

so you can decide between
you who goes first.

- Do you wanna go first,
or do you want me to?

- I am going to go first.

- [Brennan] (gasp) Very brave.
- Okay.

Twyla.
- Yeah.

- You look and see, assembled before you,

before the Throne of Thanara,

all of these enemies stepping forward

from the skulls and shadows.

(gravelly) Zaria Hex.

Oh, little fairy.

You have flown too close to the shadows.

The time has come to peel

those pretty little wings off your back.

- Oh, hell nah.

Okay, so can I do something right now?

- [Brennan] It is your
turn, you are first to act.

- You have to do something.

- Here's my question.
- [Brennan] Yes.

- [Jujubee] So here's the attack, right?

- I think you should.

- It's longbow and short- Miss Thang.

Do you want me to die?
- No.

- So there's longbow
and shortsword, right?

- [Brennan] Yeah.
- It says,

"On your first turn of combat,

your movement increases by 10."

- [Brennan] Yes.

- "You gain one extra attack,

and that extra attack deals more damage."

Is it longbow, or
shortsword, or either one?

- Either one.
- [Jujubee] Either one.

- Why don't you use magic?

- Huh?

- You don't wanna use magic?

- Should I use magic?

- What I will say is this,

there are some very good
spells that you have, right?

You have a couple-

- Maybe I'll do the Hunter's Mark.

- Hunter's Mark, well
here's the cool thing too.

So here's what I would say.

This is where I will,

I'm gonna take off my
enemy hat for a second

and put on my friend hat.
- Okay.

- So there's a bunch of great options.

Summon Beast is a great option.

Hunter's Mark is a good-

- I always wanna summon the beast.

- [Brennan] Of course.
- That's my kitty.

- So, what I will say is this,

Summon Beast is great,

but you cannot cast two leveled spells,

meaning two powerful
spells on the same turn.

Hunter's Mark is actually
not a full action to cast.

If you look at your cheat sheet,

you'll see it's a bonus action,

which means that probably
the most efficient turn,

given that you have extra attacks

only on your first turn of combat-

- I should do that first.

- You should probably
do Hunter's Mark first,

and then you could cast Hunter's Mark,

and get three attacks with
all that extra damage from-

- Well, let's do that.

- Hell yeah.

- First she was like, eh.

- Tell me what to say, so the
camera can get me saying it.

What is it?

- I'll take the one-

- So you're gonna want.

So you're gonna probably
want to cast Hunter's Mark,

and then take your three attacks.

- Okay, all right ladies,
you ready for this?

- Okay.

- Twyla-
- What's that?

- Me, I'm gonna cast my Hunter's Mark,

and then I'm gonna take the three attacks,

which I think is a really genius move

for somebody who is an amateur.

(all laughing)

Do you know what I'm saying?

- Brilliant, I mean your
tactics are on point, 100%.

- Bold of you to assume
they're gonna edit out

all the coaching.

- I really hope you do, editor.

(Brennan laughs)

- So, the range on Hunter's Mark

is pretty long, it's 90 feet,

but you are still the full
length of the battlefield away,

so let's see, well first of all,

who do you wanna cast Hunter's Mark on?

'Cause you have to pick one target for it.

- Zaria Hex killed all your people.

- I, that's who I think it should do.

- Is he fighting just us,

or is he just going back and forth?

- Give me an insight check real quick.

- Okay, insight check.

'Cause I looked up Friend,

and it said it only works on people

who aren't hostile against you.

- [Brennan] Yes, yes, yes, for sure.

- So I don't know if he's
hostile against me or not.

I got a two plus two, I got a four.

- So, I think you try to
take a moment and be like,

what's this guy's angle?

And as that happens, he goes-

(bloodthirsty roar)

And all rational thought just-

- Now we know.
- Got it, got it.

Anything nearby.

- It's like asking Eureka
a question, you know?

It's kind of just, wah!

You don't get a clear answer.

- Right.
- Oh my god.

(all laughing)

- So, if Zaria's the target,

you would have to fly forward,

at least to the edge
of that platform there

to be within range.

- So how long was that?
- Which is how many feet?

- How long is that whole thing?

- This whole thing is about,
so I'll give you 80 feet.

That's 80 feet right there, another 10,

so about the, actually
the middle over here

is about 90 feet.

And from the middle of that to Twyla

is probably about 20 feet.

- Okay.

- [Brennan] Twyla, you have to close

a little bit of distance

for your Hunter's Mark to reach Zaria.

- [Jujubee] Well how
do I get closer, then?

Wait a minute, can I do a dash?

But then I lose the attack.

- Use your attack.

- Your speed is actually 40
right now, and you can fly.

So you just have to, so
you can move for free.

You can move up to 40 feet for free,

and you only need to move 20 feet.

You're totally good.

You can just move and get closer,

but what I need you to decide

is where do you wanna move
to to get closer to her?

You can go up a little bit, you can go-

- [Monét] She's right here, right?

- [Brennan] Yeah, that's
Zaria right there.

- [Monét] Zaria right there.
- [Jujubee] That's Zaria.

- [Monét] So if you go
right here, you can do that.

- [Alaska] You'll be within range.
- Yeah, let's go there.

- [Brennan] Cool.
- Let's go right there.

- Also, because you have so much movement,

because you actually have 40 feet,

if you wanted to go there,

and elevate and go higher,
you could do that as well,

'cause you can fly.

- You want me to fly you over?

- [Jujubee] Yeah, I wanna hover,

I wanna hover, like a helicopter.

- How many feet up would
you say you wanna hover?

- Let's say 13 feet.

- [Brennan] Hell yeah.
- 13?

- That's my lucky number.

Should I go higher?

- Yes, 13, but that's one Bob.

- Okay, let's, oh yeah,
I'm as tall as you now.

Let's say 33 1/2 feet.

- [Brennan] 33 1/2 feet.
- Damn.

- Let's make it a nice, round number.

33.33-
- [Monét] She's like pi, pi feet.

- Incredible.

- Just a half inch off the
ground, don't get crazy.

- Oh my god!

- And Twyla is soaring
over the battlefield.

- [Monét] Oh this is so-
- [Bob] Werk.

- [Jujubee] Actually, can you make her

go up a little bit higher?

- Oh sure.
- What the?

- And that's the magic of this amazing-

- [Bob] Oh she looks amazing.
- [Monét] Werk!

- [Bob] About to give
'em the business today.

- Okay, 'cause now if I
played DnD with people,

I'm not gonna be this impressed.

- Nobody can do this, yeah.

- If we invite you over, we
do expect you to bring this.

- Yes.

- Straight up, I constantly
disappoint my friends.

That's all I do all day.

I roll up, and they're like
Brennan's gonna play DnD,

and I'm like, I got a dry
erase board and Mancala beads.

(all laughing)

- No!

- And they go, "What happened?"

And I was like, "Well, Rick
Perry doesn't follow me around

in my day-to-day life."

- What's up, Rick, come on!

Be cool, bro, be cool!
- Be cool, Rick!

Rick is very cool, this is sick as hell.

- Yeah, this is amazing. Okay, sorry.

- Incredible, so you're going to go ahead

and cast Hunter's Mark.

So Hunter's Mark means that you

have picked your target in the battle.

Every time you hit her,

you are going to deal an
additional one D6 damage.

- That's amazing.

- And what does it look like, magically,

as Twyla casts Hunter's Mark on Zaria?

- [Jujubee] So, this-
- Yes!

- So Twyla, right now, is
in such a space in her brain

- So Twyla, right now, is
in such a space in her brain

where she's just ready
to protect her sisters

and bring back the Fae people, right?

So she centers herself in the sky.

She has one leg up, and
she does one of these.

- (trills) Ha!
(crashing, wood crackling)

(Brennan grunts)

- Zaria (grunts) as this sort
of just pure, scintillating,

angry red glitter (yelps)
fairy magic covers her face.

(Brennan grunts)

And you now have Hunter's
Mark cast on her.

You're gonna give me three
attack rolls on Zaria Hex.

- Oh, three!

- Let's go for it, oh here we go.

- Okay, attack rolls.
- Mm-hmm.

- Just kill her, off the bat, just-

- Where's my attack, baby?

- She can get three nat 20s.

- So she gets to roll the
D20 dice three times, and-

- Yes, on your first turn of combat,

you get an extra attack.

As a ranger, she's all about it,

it's why she has a plus 14 to initiative.

She's all about the ambush,
like hiding in the woods,

coming out with the ambush.

- Are they gonna get an extra attack too?

- No, they will not get an extra attack,

but for example, Troyánn has
ability called Action Surge

that can let her attack
two extra times in a round.

- Sounds like a soda.

Get an Action Surge!

- This is your first attack,

and I believe you're
adding plus 11 every time.

- Where is it, where's that?

- On your-
- What is the XP?

Can we find out what their hit points are?

- No, you don't know.

I'll describe how injured they get.

- Oh here, is it here?
- Yeah, yeah, plus 11.

- Brennan, that's shady.
- [Jujubee] Oh my gosh, okay.

- [Monét] That's shady, Brennan.
- Okay, ladies.

One, two, three.
- [Monét] Come on, girl.

- 20!
- 20!

- 13.
- Oh!

- So 13 plus 11, 24.

As your first arrow flies,

you see Zaria goes for a
Counterspell to defeat the mark,

you see Zaria goes for a
counterspell to defeat the mark,

but Gertie, you know,

Counterspell only has a range of 60 feet.

- I know that, that's a fact.

- That's a fact, so in other words,

Twyla is outside the
range of a Counterspell.

Instead, you see Zaria, woo,
whips a Shield around her body.

Instead, you see Zaria, woo,
whips a Shield around her body.

- Oh, okay.
- She casts the Shield spell.

Your mark is so true that it flies

through the glimmering
runes of the shield spell,

and even though she's raised
her armor class by five,

that roll still hits her.

- (almost inaudible) Fuck yeah.
- First attack hits.

Go ahead and roll your second attack.

- Also Counterspell's a big spell,

so she can't do it too many more times.

- Mm-hmm, absolutely.

- Zaria Hex.

- Zaria Hex, you-

- Hit her Zaria necks.

- You little piece of shit!

- Punch her in her Zaria pecs.

- All right, Zaria, you come and get this-

- Zaria about to get decked.

- You about to get pummeled!

12.
- 12, woo!

- That's another-
- Plus 14.

- That's another hit.
- Oh, wait.

- 12 plus 11.

That is another hit, go
ahead and roll your third.

- Come on!

Okay, ຊາວ, ຊາວ, ຊາວ,
which means 20 in Laotian.

(Queens chanting 'ຊາວ')

- Seven plus 11 is 18.
- Not bad.

- Right?
- Oh, that's not good.

- 18 exactly hits her armor class.

One less, and that third attack

is the one that does the extra damage.

- We now know that Zaria Hex is 18.

I got a little intel.

- [Brennan] A little
intel, a little intel.

- 18.

- So, you are going to roll

a truly absurd amount of damage right now.

- What?

- 'Cause you've hit all three times,

so you are going to roll,

and I can give you some extra dice to roll

if you want some extra dice for this.

- Oh, give it to me, daddy.

- Here we go.
- Come here.

- That's dungeon daddy to you.

- You're gonna take your-
- Do you see how nervous I am?

I'm like sweaty.
- It's incredible.

This is an incredible
first turn of combat.

Go ahead and grab your D8.
- You better werk!

Grab your D8, and then grab your D6.

- [Jujubee] Okay, D6, D8.

- I don't think Twyla can count that far.

- And you're going to take-
- She's a dancer.

- Another two D6, that's
from Hunter's Mark,

and this is all the rest of
your Zephyr Strike, or of your-

- We're gonna ruin her.

- You're going to roll all of those,

and then because you hit three times,

and you add, and you got the magical bow,

and you add your dexterity
every time you hit,

you're gonna roll all of those,

and you're gonna add 18.

- [Monét] Oh my god.
- Ruin her.

Ruin her.
- End her, girl.

- Get her together.

- She is sorry she brought her
ass down to the Underworld.

- Are you rolling them one at a time?

- Baby.
- [Monét] One at a-

- How many queens get to do this?

So I'm gonna, okay, so that's-

- Four, actually.

- Okay, four.

Come on.

(dramatic music)

Seven.

- So that's 15.

- Six, five.
- 20.

- Three.
- [Brennan] 23.

- Two, what, motherfucker.
- [Brennan] 25.

- Six!

- 31 plus 18, 49 points of damage.

- 31 plus 18, 49 points of damage.

Zaria steps forward going,

(gravelly) Such pain and ruin, will I-

(Brennan imitating arrows thudding)

And just vomits about
ten gallons of blood,

stumbling backwards.
- Yes.

- She has gone from
the height of her power

to struggling to live
in one round of combat.

- It's what she deserves.

(tense music)

(arrows whooshing)

(Zaria grunts)

(arrow loading and firing)

(Zaria screeching)

(thunder booms)
(deep reverb)

(dramatic music)

- You have taken away well more
than half of her hit points

in your first turn of combat.

- Wait how many points altogether,

how many points did she take from her?

- [Brennan] You did 49.

- So she's got less than 50
points left, okay I'm keeping-

- How many points she has left?

- Less than, he won't tell us but-

- I won't tell you exact numbers, but she-

- But we know, less than 49.

- She just, fairy arrows,

and you can feel a pouch at your side

filled with playing cards
is glowing so brightly

that yeah, the chamber fills with light!

You still have your Hunter's Mark on her,

and she stumbles backward, badly injured.

Incredible turn from Twyla.

- All the fairies are happy.
- Yes!

I'm very proud of myself for that move.

- That was very great.
- That was good.

- It was incredible.
- That's really good.

- I wanna know what she has
to say to me after that hit.

Does she have any words?
- Ouch.

- You can tell that this woman has spent

an entire necromantic life,

mostly pithily quipping at people

that she then melts with magic,

and all she can do right
now is just vomit blood.

- Good, good for her.

(Brennan retches)

- Just that sort of
thing of the click lock

in the back of the throat of
(retches) as whatever magic,

just those fairy arrows
piercing her chest.

- She's gagging, literally.

- Literally gagging.

- I don't know why you're all gagging.

- I make people gag all the time.

- There you go.

- But you don't, and
that's the good thing.

- I don't know why are you gagging?

Because you're full of arrows.

(Jujubee laughs)

- You see one of your
enemies leaps into action.

- Oh god.

- You see Kerwyn takes
his sword aloft and goes-

- Fuckin' Kerwyn.

- (gruff) Sorry for the
deception, my beautiful niece.

Just needed you to come
a little bit closer.

Be so much easier to drag your soul here

if you're already here to start with.

He is going to leap forward here.

- Is he gonna get on that platform?

- He flies into a rage.
- Oh god.

(Brennan roars)

- [Brennan] And leaps
onto this platform here.

- What the?

- [Brennan] The stone cracks
underneath him as he lands,

and he surges forward to about here.

- [Bob] Oh god, he's so close to her!

- To who, to me?
- Yes, bitch!

He's right next to you!

- Maybe I should've gone higher, huh?

- He, actually I need to
sort of see his movements.

- Maybe you shouldn't.

(Bob laughs)

- [Brennan] Actually,
now that you bring it up,

that's a great point.

- No, no.

- Wait, how high are you flying?

You are a skyscraper.

- You know, we can all just go back.

She's got this.

That first hit was great.

- She's like, goodnight.

- [Brennan] I've somehow misplaced-
- Thank you, goodnight.

- [Brennan] My little measuring guide.

- Honestly, I don't think
we need to go there.

Let's just, why don't you
roll perception right now?

- Just gonna see-

(all laughing)

- Why don't you roll it, yeah, yeah!
- [Jujubee] Why don't you?

- [Jujubee] Why don't
you roll the perception.

- So from there to there is 50 feet,

and from him to you is-
- [Jujubee] 180 feet.

- Is about 35.
- And?

- Which means that you're
about five feet past

where he could jump to and hit you.

- Oh, werk.

- He's not going to, is he?

'Cause I'm cute.

- [Bob] He's gunning for-
- No, you're safe.

If you were five feet closer
to him, he can hit you.

- Oh, I misunderstood.

- [Brennan] Troyánn, that
is going to be your turn.

- Okay.
- All right, Troyánnica.

- [Jujubee] Oh my god.

- So, what Troyánn wants to do,

now I, of course, am gonna
attack cousin KeeKee.

- [Brennan] Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

- (whisper) But cyclops is closer.
- Sounds very personal.

- You're right, he is closer, but he's so,

oh you know what?

You right.

Uncle Ker-Ker?

You tried to fuck me up earlier,

and I got something for his ass.

- That's right, yeah.

Yeah, you're right!

- Mhmm. Okay, so what I'm
gonna do first is I can do,

okay so I have a question.

My perci-, I'm gonna get this
word before we leave here.

Perstidigation, perstig-,
perstidigitation.

- I think it's Prestidigitation.
- Yeah, that's right.

But you know, those
were all the syllables.

It's Presti-digitation.

- Prestidigitation.

So, minor magical tricks and illusions.

What does that, that's so vague.

What are my minor-
- This your card?

- Is this your, is this your card?

- I cut the cards.

- It kind of is magic
tricks and things like that.

It's small little illusions like that.

In the heat of this battle,

that spell's probably not
gonna be too much use to you.

- Okay, all right.

- It might help with some other
kind of feat of athletics,

or something else like that,

but for the most part,

you have more potent
abilities available to you.

- Okay.

So what I want to do is-

- Oh yeah, is that the weapon
he hit Monét with earlier?

- Yeah.
- Yes.

- Damn, that thing is-

- It's big, right?

- [Bob] That's bigger than
her whole little fairy body.

- Right?

- You could probably shoot arrows

and fucking take out Zaria, right?

From this range?

'Cause you can shoot from far.

- How far can I shoot?
- [Bob] She's almost dead.

- It doesn't say, what is
the range of my, of my-

- Yeah, I guess if we get her first.

- She's almost dead,
but he's really close,

which feels like something in-

- I'll take him.

- I think she wants to take
him, that's the thing, right?

- I wanna take him.
- [Jujubee] Yeah.

- Yeah.
- But so do you.

'Cause he hurt you.

- But you can shoot arrows
really, how far can she shoot?

- Oh, your range on that is 150 feet.

- Oh, okay.

- So you can hit pretty
much anyone on this board,

provided they don't have-

- You can shoot back to
the bazaar at this point.

- Yeah, there are some people

that would have cover from you,

like if you think about a
straight line from your character.

So it depends on who you're trying to hit.

Like probably, so for example,

your cousin Keena has a total
cover from you right now.

She's hidden behind all these
columns, and cages, and stuff.

But, Kerwyn, Morgan, Zaria,

they're all open to you right now,

but also, you could move to
get a line of sight on Keena.

- So now if I move, I won't
be able to do two attacks.

I can only attack once.

- You have 30 feet of movement
that you get for free.

- For free, okay.

- For free?

- [Monét] So I'm gonna move
one, I wanna be on this side.

Is that 30?

- [Bob] Five, each one's five.

- [Brennan] So-
- Oh five or 10?

- I think each one's five.

- [Brennan] Real quick-
- But the abyss counts, right?

- Your strength-
- Oh, the abyss counts.

- What does the abyss count for?

- I don't know.
- So, here's the thing.

You can comfortably clear a gap of 15 feet

with your long jump.

That chasm is a little bit
longer than 15 feet across,

so it would require an athletics check.

Now, you have a good athletics score,

but there's always the potential

for something to go wrong
if you rolled really low,

so it's a risky leap.

- I'll use my acrobats.
- What if you went up?

- [Brennan] Oh, use acrobatics?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- On this thing?

- Oh, can I go up?

- [Brennan] Absolutely, so-

- [Monét] What does one of these count as?

- So that would be a very difficult climb.

So the choices that are available to you,

you can try to jump the distance,

you could climb straight up a column,

which is less risky,
but is very difficult.

Just think about scaling a sheer column.

There's also some collapsed
architecture behind you,

which might take you a little
bit farther out of your way.

So those are your options
that are available to you.

- I wanna get up here.
- Okay.

- 'Cause I was here.

I wanna get up here.

- Amazing.

We'll call this a DC15 acrobatics

to attempt to just truly
scale up a sheer column,

straight up, to jump up to the top.

- [Monét] Okay.
- [Bob] What's your acrobatic check?

- It's eight.
- [Bob] High, right?

Oh, that's good.

(tense music)

- Come on.

(Monét yelps)

- What is it, Monét?

(hands slam on table)

- What is it?
- Oh my god!

- [Bob] You slid down the wall?

- You're not gonna fall
down the hole, it's okay.

- You just slipped, it's
just a little embarrassing.

What did you roll?

- I rolled two.
- Je-sus.

- So I have a 10, what does that do?

So I slipped and I fell?

- As you attempt to go up
the side of the column there,

you get about halfway,

and feel the cold stone of the Underworld

sapping the strength from your limbs

as you attempt to scale up.

You can either stay up that partial point,

where your range is still limited,

or you can attempt to leap off

and use your remaining
movement to go up the back way,

but those columns are not possible for
you to scale. - Okay, you know what?

I'm gonna stay here.

- Okay, cool.

- Thank god you didn't try
to leap the fuckin' void.

- [Monét] Now from here
to here, is this 150 feet?

- [Brennan] Yes, it is.

- And from this angle, I can see him.

- Yeah, absolutely.

- Oh, question.

If I do my spell of wind,

and I knock him down, does
he get damage from that?

- Well, using your spell of
wind to try and knock him down.

He would take one D6 damage
every 10 feet that he fell,

so he'd probably take two
or three to six damage

if he hit the platform.

- (roughly) Knock him off into the abyss.

- Yeah.

- So, I'm gonna take a look
at Gust of Wind real quick,

'cause that is the potential
to do some really wild stuff.

- (whisper) Oh, that's smart.

- Gust of Wind.

Each creature that starts
its turn in the line

must succeed on a strength saving throw,

or be pushed 15 feet away from you

in a direction following the line.

So you have to pick the
line the wind is blowing in.

Now, Kerwyn making a
strength saving throw?

He's very strong, and
he's raging right now,

but it's a high risk, high reward.

Like he'd be very good at
resisting it, but if he failed,

he would plummet into the inky void.

- Oh my god.
- I love that.

- But I also wanna give
Princess a chance to,

I wanna just hurt him a little bit.

I wanna give her the chance.

You know what?

How about, can I send my wind
to bring sister KeeKee down?

How about, can I send my wind
to bring sister KeeKee down?

- Ooh, absolutely. You can 100% do that.

- I'm gonna do that.

I'm gonna roll for, so
Troyánn is over there,

and she is summoning the power,

'cause she's kind of like Storm.

She's like the Storm
of Dungeons & Dragons.

So I'm like getting the Gust of Wind,

getting the Gust of Wind.

I need to roll a what?

- Actually, this is
just an automatic thing.

You cast this spell,
and it works right away.

Also, it's a 60 foot long line,

so you can kind of put this
doing whatever you want.

You can put it on KeeKee here,

or you can move it to try to
get all three of them in a line

if you wanna put it at a
little bit of a diagonal.

- That's an idea.

You should do it.

- Yeah, let's do a diagonal
wind going that way.

- That was a not subtle clue.

- Okay, you wanna have it go this way?

- Yes, push through that way.
- Great, hell yeah.

Okay, so we're gonna roll
some saves, all in a row.

These are strength saving throws.

Let's see here, this is so cool.

Okay, one by one, your
difficulty for this, as well,

is gonna be a 15,

and we gotta see their
strength saving throws.

- I'm not rolling well, guys.

- Oh no, spells, they roll.

You just do the magic.
- Okay.

So I am saying my incantation.

(Monét sings chant from
'No Good Deed' from Wicked)

(Bob continues the chant and lyrics)

- You see Morgan of the
Glaring Sun resists,

gazing right at you and saying,

Your witchcraft of the deep
sea will do nothing here.

- We know a Scottish
drag queen named Morgan,

which is kinda hilarious.

(Brennan laughs)

- We do.

- We do know a Scottish
drag queen named Morgan.

- Incredible.

Poor fuckin' Zaria, vomiting blood,

she faceplants and just
scrapes down the stairs

about 15 feet, and gets dangerously close

to the bottom of the staircase.

♪ She had it comin' ♪

♪ She had it comin' ♪

♪ She had it comin' all along ♪

- [Monét] Ooh, she's sideways!

- Yeah, oh she's tumbling facedown.

- Still vomiting.

- [Brennan] Still vomiting.

(Brennan retching)

- [Monét] She is doing Beyonce
"Ring the Alarm," girl.

- Beyonce, if you are watching
this, that was not me.

That was Monét X Change.

I had nothing to do with that,

and I advised her not to do it, continue.

- She's at home, she's
like y'all so crazy.

- Jay, come look at this.

- Okay, okay, okay.

KeeKee.

- Okay, this is KeeKee,

and we're gonna roll this right now.

This is gonna be a pretty huge one here.

(Brennan sighs)

This is gonna be Box of Doom,

'cause the stakes are very high.

Now, I won't-
- I love steak.

- Ooh, I love a good steak.
- And I love high.

(Monét laughs)

- Now, I'm gonna warn you ahead of time,

'cause I want this to be, to feel earned.

So the first thing she's
gotta do is resist the spell.

If she doesn't resist the spell,

which she's not very good at it,

'cause it's a strength save
and she's all dexterity.

But, she has one other ability

that may come up, even if she fails,

so she might have two chances here.

We'll roll the first one first.

This is her strength,

this is her just trying to knuckle down,

but she has got to get a 15 on the die.

but she has got to get a 15 on the die.

- Okay.
- Oh my gosh.

(tense music)

(Monét screams)

- So, the wind takes her off her feet.

She is going to use a
special ability as a reaction

to attempt to resist this with dexterity.

She's gotta hit the-
- Dexterity.

She's probably strong, like me.

- Yeah, she's gonna add a seven to this.

- What's your dexterity?
- [Monét] Five.

- Okay, she's more dexterous.

- So she needs eight or higher here.

She needs an eight or higher.

- Oh my gosh.

- An eight or higher?
- [Brennan] Eight or higher.

- It's gonna be a two.

- [Monét] It's gonna be a one.
- [Bob] It's gonna be a two.

- [Brennan] Five!
(Monét whoops)

- Yes!
(queens clapping)

Knock this bitch down, yeah.

- I'm sorry!

- So, you summon that wind.

Keena looks at you and says,
"Troyánn, Mother will, hah!"

And the wind picks her
straight up into the air.

She whips that chain hook,
clatters against the stone.

She tries to find purchase, and sails off,

and begins to just fall
into the open abyss.

- Yes!
(Monét claps)

- Into the abyss?

- Can we say bye to her?

(all laughing)

- Bye!
- Bye!

- Do a Lizzo.

Bye, bitch!

- What is Thanara thinking right now?

Is she loving this?

Is she having fun?

(shouts) Are you not entertained?

(Brennan laughs)

- Actually, that's a great point.

I think at the end of the round,

we should make a group performance check

to see if you are doing all
these moves stylishly enough

for Thanara to be like, I love it.

- She's probably like,

Werk, yas queen!
- I did my job, okay?

I even did some work for you.

- [Brennan] Incredible.
- You're welcome, honey.

- So here's Keena, just sailing
into the darkness over here.

- [Bob] Oh my god, she's sailing.

- Bye-bye!
- [Brennan] Unbelievable.

- This is so great, see?
- Good job.

- "D20," thank you for these die, really.

- For real.

- Troyánn, summoning the
wind of the wide sea,

you scatter Keena, your cousin,

cousin KeeKee goes ass over tea kettle,

falling into the abyss.

You can hear her going ha, ha,

as this rattling chain falls behind her.

- And she was trying to talk
shit right beforehand too,

I love that for her.

(Brennan laughs)

- You see as she calls out
and goes, "Help, Morgan!"

And yells at Morgan over
here, in the corner.

You have used your action,
you've used your movement.

If you have a bonus
action you'd like to use,

you can do so now, but you do not have to.

- I wanna, 'cause I can only
use it once per hour, right?

- [Brennan] You can only
use it once per hour.

- I'm gonna save it.
- Cool, good call.

- Is each battle an hour,
or is it literally an hour?

- Oh, these battles take
place over seconds or minutes,

so your powers are not
gonna be able to refresh

during the course of this combat.

- Got it.

- Oh my gosh.

- Next to act is going to be Gertrude.

- Woo!

(whips paper)
(Alaska chuckles)

You know, I've noticed that
little miss of the sun?

- [Brennan] Yeah.

- Is unscathed.
- [Brennan] Yes.

- And I think it's time to scathe.

(Brennan laughs)
- I think you're right.

- Okay, so my moves have a lot of range.

I'm talking 120 feet.
- Oh, shoot.

- 150 feet.

You know, there's some real
range on these puppies,

so I feel like I want to
start with an Eldritch Blast,

which is 120 feet.
- [Brennan] Yes.

- [Bob] And this is getting a boost,

'cause this is my first attack.

- [Brennan] Yes, yes, yes, yes.

- My other idea might be,

I think it's too early
to start Fireball-ing.

It feels too early to start Fireball-ing.

- I don't think it's too early.

- Well Fireball, it seems like it,

Fireball can cover a large area.

- [Brennan] Yeah.
- Okay.

- Meaning if I can get
them closer together,

I can probably hit all of them.

They're pretty spread out now,

so I could possibly hit her and her,

but I don't wanna
accidentally hit this guy.

- Why, who cares?

- 'Cause he's not necessarily against us.

- Yeah, we don't wanna piss him off.

- I don't wanna get him going against us-

- Wouldn't he be against,
oh he's with her.

- He is her boyfriend.

- No, she's not against us.

She doesn't have a side.

- Oh.
- She's just watching.

- So he's just on the
board, wreaking havoc.

- Okay.

- He is kind of a chaotic neutral.

- He's a guest judge.
- [Monét] Well, he look evil.

- He's a guest judge.

- He's the extra special guest judge.

- Yeah.
(all laughing)

- [Brennan] Incredible.

- When Leah Remini showed up.

- By the way, (laughs).

- [Jujubee] Literally.

- For Gertrude's benefit,
this is a Fireball.

- [Monét] Oh!

- [Brennan] That's how big a Fireball is.

- [Alaska] What the-
- Oh.

- I can get, we gotta
get 'em a little closer.

- [Alaska] Yeah, they
should be closer together.

- Yeah, no, okay.

- [Monét] Okay, we
gotta save our Fireball.

- So I'm gonna do an Eldritch Blast.

- [Brennan] Hell yeah.

- Who's Eldouche?

- Eldritch?

- Eldritch, you know Eldritch.

It's like an old witch.

You know Eldritch.

That Eldritch who lives by the stack.

I wanna do an Eldritch Blast
toward Lil Miss of the Sun.

- [Brennan] Incredible.
- [Jujubee] Morgan?

- Miss of the Sun, Morgan.

And I can do, Eldritch Blast is just,

I can do that as many times as I want.

- You can do that as
many times as you want.

That doesn't even burn
a spell slot for you.

If you wanted a mid-range option as well,

something that's halfway
between the Eldritch Blast

and everything else,

you have some other spells,

but as you've said before,
the range might be different.

So Scorching Ray has a range of 240 feet.

- Okay.

- But, it's a second level spell,

so it's not as expensive as your Fireball,

but you can create three rays of fire,

and hurl them at as many
targets as you want.

You can hit three different people,

you can hit all the same person with them.

- Okay, but I'm not using Detect Thoughts

during this, probably.

- [Brennan] Mm-mm.

- I, Hellish Rebuke, I'm
probably not gonna use Darkness

because if you can see in the dark,

and you can see in the dark,

that means that he can see in the dark,

and she can see in the dark.

- Yes.

- So not doing that.

Oh I'm gonna do Scorching Ray.

- [Brennan] Hell yeah.

- Which is a, that's a stripper name.

(Brennan laughs)

- Scorching Ray.
(sultry music)

- Ladies, are you
enjoying yourself tonight?

Welcome to the stage, Mister-
- Get your dollars out.

- Scorching Ray!

(Monét humming)

- She's pouring cooling
powder all over her body.

She's like, it's so hot.

- Unbelievable.

All right, so Gertrude,

you are gonna summon three rays of fire

that you can fling up to 240 feet,

which is basically
hitting anyone you want.

Line of sight right now,

you definitely have Morgan
in your line of sight.

Do you want to split up
over multiple targets,

or concentrate all three on the same?

- I feel like she's hurt, she's hurt-

- She's dead in the abyss,

[Monét And Jujubee] She gone.

- Well?
- Oh no, she's falling.

Keena is falling into the abyss,

but called out to Morgan up here.

- Which is why I'm trying to hit Morgan,

so maybe she can't help her.

Maybe I'll knock her off her
feet, and do something to her.

- [Alaska] That part.

- We're saving him, for later.

- [Monét] Yeah.
- For dessert.

- Go ahead, so we're gonna
do all three on Morgan.

Go ahead and give me three attack rolls,

and you're actually
going to add, let me see,

'cause you now have that new staff.

- Oh yeah, I have that brand new staff.

- So you're gonna add
plus nine to these rolls.

- [Bob] Plus nine.
- Oh, wow.

- Okay, plus nine.

We have an 11.

- [Brennan] 20, hits.
- [Monét] Okay, 20.

- We have a-
- [Monét] Dirty 20.

- 12?

- [Brennan] 21 hits.

- And we have a six.

- Six, 15.

So, the third one misses,

but the first two hit.

Go ahead and roll four six-sided dice.

- Okay, I wanna put out before she did it,

she kinda put her feet down,

and then she looked up at
Thanara like, you'll love this.

And she felt really confident,

and then she looked back over at Princess

and goes, (whisper) was that good?

(all laughing)

And then she walks over,

she winds it up real Liza Minnelli style,

and just throws these three
fireballs over at her,

so I just wanted to point out

how it looked when it happened.

- Incredible.

- [Bob] D6.
- [Monét] Four times, darling.

- Okay, this is a two.
- Ooh.

- Well, don't make that noise, Monét.

- Okay, it's okay, it's okay.
- You got it, diva.

- Three.
- [Brennan] Five.

- Go in diva, all right.

- This one's a six, though.

- [Monét] Yeah, this is a six, for sure.

- This one's a six.

It's a two.

- [Brennan] Seven, go ahead
and roll one last time.

- One last time, this one's the six.

(whisper) It's a two.

- A two.
- [Brennan] Nine.

- This bitch is lucky.

- You see, as you step up
Gertrude, and summon that fire,

streaking flame, it all looks like,

it looks like an oil
slick lighting on fire,

but racing vertically
up and away from you.

(Brennan gasps)

As fast as you can see, it hits
Morgan square in the chest,

and you see she goes (sighs)

as the flame licks her cheeks.

She looks at you and goes,

"Oh, you'll be seeing
plenty of this in time.

The fire waits for you, wicked soul."

- Then I look back at Princess and go,

"I shouldn't have talked shit."

(all laughing)

- Speaking of Princess,
Princess, it is your turn to act.

- Okay, so what I would like
to do is I would like Princess-

- Did that do any damage at all to her?

- Yes, she took the
damage, but she's a freak

and was basically licking
her lips as she burned.

- Got it.

- Any movement from Gertrude,
or are you good where you are?

- I'm gonna stay where I am.
- [Brennan] Cool.

- I would like Princess to
jump up onto this thing.

- [Bob] Oh she's gonna move.

- And fly into a rage, and
attack that guy, if she can.

- Hell yes.

So, I'm gonna need an
athletics check from you,

'cause you can jump very high in the air,

but you're jumping effectively
20 feet straight up.

- Easy!

- Easy, so go ahead and,
as you enter a rage,

you now roll athletics with advantage.

So, I'm gonna need a DC15,

same as Troyánn, DC15 to get up onto-

- Come on, Princess.

- All right, here we go.

A nine.

Well, a nine plus athletiques?

Is an eight.

- Oh, 17.

- 17, okay.
- Okay.

An eight plus an eight, 16.

- All of you watch Princess squat down,

and (grunts) leap, bam!

And hit the stone platform up above.

- Nice!
- Incredible.

- [Monét] The whole building shakes.

- [Brennan] That uses about
20 feet of your movement.

- [Alaska] Okay.

- [Brennan] You've used a bonus action.

You're here with about
20 feet of movement left.

- Can I get closer?

- [Brennan] Yes, you can.

So you can go five, 10, 15,
20, and get to the edge.

- [Monét] Oh you're right there.
- [Brennan] You are right there.

- But how do we-
- Face off.

- So, you've moved, you
used a bonus action.

You have an action left.

You can either choose
to leap forward at him,

with that action,

but you would be using
movement, essentially,

but there are other options.

You could also try to ready
an action, if you wanted.

And like-
- What does that mean?

- Ready an action means
waiting to see what he does,

or holding a strike so that if
he charges you, you hit him.

- Okay.

What do I do?

- [Jujubee] Yeah.
- You should get ready.

'Cause he's next.

He's moving before you do.

- No, Haria is next.

- Mm-hmm, yes, there's a couple.

Well, so there's-
- So he's before she moves.

- Yes, so Kerwyn will
act again before you,

so I think it's truly whatever
is in Princess's heart.

Either you can move there,

so I think you would
also see, in this moment,

that Kerwyn has a readied action as well.

He's holding like he's gonna
swat you if you charge him,

but it's whatever's in Princess's heart.

It's either like, are you
gonna leap at him and attack?

Or do you play it safe,

and hold back on an action
for him to charge you?

- I'm thinking just stay at the ready.

- [Brennan] Hell yeah.

- Ready to strike him if he strikes me.

- Incredible.

You ready an action for if Kerwyn charges,

which is a very wise move.

By doing that, he's effectively
wasted his previous turn.

He was set for you to charge him.

- [Bob] Oh, he was about to
counter you, girl. (tongue pops)

- He was about to counter you.
- Oh.

- You've read him successfully.

That he is basically-

- Read him.

(all laughing)

- Read her!

- Your ready wasn't that ready, honey.

- Yeah.

(Brennan laughs)

- Incredible.

Princess, astride there.

You see your uncle looking at
you, and his shoulders relax

as he sees you standing across
from him, blood in his eyes.

(low and growling) Why?

Why did you run?

I could've put you to rest
with the rest of your family.

I've hated living in this sickening clan,

I've hated living in this sickening clan,

this house of sniveling little do-gooders.

Do you know the power the
Foehammers could wield?

You, you have stood between me,
and true power for too long.

You, you have stood between me,
and true power for too long.

I'm gonna put you into
your grave, little girl.

(Brennan laughs)

- Woman of few words.

- Don't shrug, I mean, don't-

- Sticks and stones.

(Bob laughs)

- God, so dismissive!

- [Bob] Not sticks and stones.

- [Brennan] That is now going to be-

- It's very, like.

- This dude up here, Alacranos,

who goes (roars) and just charges.

He's going to skitter all the way here,

leap into this center platform.
(Bob screams)

- [Alaska] What?

(Bob screams)

- And is going to take some swings

at Princess and at Kerwyn.

Just up in the mix, attacking everybody.

- And at Kerwyn?

- I told ya, he's chaotic neutral.

He's just swinging at everyone.

He's not against, he's with her.

She's not rooting for anyone.

- Oh.

- He's there just making it
more interesting for her.

- He sounds like he's on steroids.

- He's in a rage.

- For real, right?

Go to the gym, baby.

- That's how they be acting, girl.

- Oh my gosh.

Write in a journal.

- Princess.

- (soft) Yes?

- [Brennan] You-

- That's when her voice was the softest.

- (soft and high) Yes?

- [Alaska] (low and growling) Yes.

- Finally talking in my real voice.

(Bob laughs)

Imagine.

- So, as you are standing
up there looking at Kerwyn,

this giant monster (roars)
lands on the platform,

partially climbs up the column,

and you see a massive stinger
come and thud into your arm.

You are going to take,
at first, six piercing,

but your rage halves that
to only three damage.

But then you're going to take

an additional eight poison damage,

so 11 damage total to Princess.

- Oh my god, Princess.

(Brennan grunts)

- As this giant monster attacks.

That is Alacranos's turn.

Morgan of the Glaring Sun, you
see that she takes her spear

and whoom, the tip alights in flame,

flaming spear in her hand,

who is ready to unleash holy fury.

Instead, must waste her entire turn.

- Oh thank god, 'cause she was
probably gonna aim it at me.

- Flying after Keena, into the abyss.

- Oh my god!
- Shit.

- You see her flying
down as fast as possible

to this area over here.

- At least we didn't get hit.

- Fuck.

- This bitch is gonna go save her.

- Zaria Hex stands.

So you see, so you basically had,

effectively for this round,

taken two powerful enemies off the board,

as Morgan flies down into
the darkness to retrieve her.

Zaria, on death's door, stands here.

She's still bleeding from her mouth.

You see the blood oozes down her chin,

into the collar of her gown,

and begins to weave itself
in to her own fabric

like some sickening loop

of the dress being made of her own blood,

constantly cycling back
in and out of herself.

She looks up at you.

- Who's you?
- Twyla.

- Ooh!
- Oh my god.

- Yes, well you did fuck her up.

- And she-

- Then Monét knocked her down.

- You see, Zaria looks at you-
- Okay.

- And says, (panting).

- Say it!

- Don't spray it.

- [Brennan] You have it.
- Don't spray it.

- You have it with you, I can smell it.

(Bob gasps)

- The fucking thing.

- The seed!

You have brought the seed to me!

Let this be a lesson.

The power I wield cannot be resisted!

Her eyes crackle with lightning,

and she releases a bolt of
lightning, 100 feet long.

- Geez Louise.

- [Monét] Oh!
- [Bob] You're gettin' hit, girl.

- Zap.

- I'm going to need a
dexterity saving throw.

- Oh my goodness.

That's with the D20, right?

- That's with the D20.

- What's your dexterity plus?

- Dexterity, where is that?

Plus eight.

- Okay, that's good dexterity.

- Okay, and I only roll this one time?

- You're trying to beat, on
a dexterity saving throw,

you are trying to beat a 15.

You will take half damage,
if you are successful.

The spell is very powerful,

but if you fail, you will take
the full damage of the spell.

- And then I die?

- Not necessarily.

It's gonna deal a lot of damage.

You may have the hit
points needed to recover.

- Oh my goodness.

- You need seven or more.

- Okay, so I need a seven or more.

- You can do it.
♪ I'm gonna get a 13 ♪

(Brennan gasps)
- What is it?

- A four.
- Ooh, she's getting hit.

- Ooh.
- Nuh-uh.

(dice rattle)

Not Twyrina.

- Oh, that's a lotta dice.

- Can I roll again?

- I'm afraid, I'm afraid not.

- Jujubee is like, can we just
act like that didn't happen?

- Why didn't you turn yourself

into a paperclip or something?

- 'Cause a paperclips
not gonna matter now.

- Pull it together.

(queens laughing)

- Twyla, flying overhead,

Zaria unleashes.

(lightning crackles)
28 points of lightning damage.

- Oh my god!

(Brennan screams)

(Jujubee yelps)

- What does she even have?
- I'm fine.

(all laughing)

- 'Tis but a flesh wound.

- How many hit points do you have left?

- I have 44 hit points.
- Minus 28?

16.
(Bob gasps)

- 16 hit points left.

The radiance in your body,

as you resist this blood queen's magic,

the will-o'-wisps surround you.

With light, you have not succumbed

to this terrible lightning spell.

You see her lip quiver,

seeing that you are still
aloft, your flight unchanged.

She screams, and is going
to attempt to retreat,

as injured as she is, only
makes it a couple feet back,

and she's gonna go in this
direction, up the staircase here,

to try to get a better
line of sight on you.

With that, Zaria is at
the end of the round,

so we're gonna go back-

- Almost the end of her life,

if we have anything to do with it.

(tongue pops)
- And that goes (gasps).

Wow, the poetry.

It goes back to the top of
the order, which is of course-

- It's me.
- [Brennan] It's Twyla.

- And guess what I'm gonna fucking do?

(all laughing)
- [Bob] End her.

- Guess what I'm gonna do?

- Are you gonna kill her?

- Oh, I don't think I'm gonna kill her,

but I think my Buddy Bear is gonna show up

and I'm gonna say, you
know what Buddy Bear?

I'm summoning your big Cat Tree ass,

and I'm gonna have you shove
this bitch into the abyss.

(Brennan mews)

(queens gasping)

- Oh my god!
- What?

- Wait, where did this?
- No!

- How tiny is this?
- Can I see?

- You absolutely can.

- Your Cat Tree.
- Oh my god.

- It's a Cat Tree!

- [Alaska] So cute.

- That you made up yesterday.

(Jujubee purring)

The devil works hard,
but "D20" works harder.

(all laughing)

- That is hilarious.
- What's her name, Thanara?

Thanara works hard,
but "D20" works harder.

(Brennan laughs)

That is great.

- [Brennan] Incredible.
- This is fucking cool.

- That's great.

- So glad you summoned it,

otherwise they would've
just had that sitting there.

(all laughing)

- They would've been like-

(queens clamoring)

- Rick's back there like-

- It just seems like-

- They're all back, arms crossed,

like she better fuckin' summon it.

- All night, they were just-

- [Brennan] Wow, okay.

- What the hell else is over there?

I think I summoned a butt
naked hot man, what's up?

- [Brennan] Incredible.

- Thank god I didn't summon
a cloud smoke, or water.

- [Brennan] Water.
- A water cat.

- Unbelievable.

Twyla, Zaria steps to the edge,

surrounded by blood magic.

And says, (wheezing) I will have the seed.

This will be my final victory.

And behind her?

- Come on, Buddy Bear.

(all laughing) (Brennan imitates
cat purring and growling)

Get her, Buddy Bear.

- Drag her.

- Unbelievable.

So, you are gonna go ahead.

Wow, this is so cool.

Okay, as you summon it,

and she's standing at
the edge of the platform,

it's an opposed athletics check.

It's just simple, it's a shove attack.

- It is a shove attack, I looked it up.

(Brennan laughs)

- I saw her do it, she was googling.

- I did, I was like, here it is.

- Zaria wields incredible magical power,

but what she doesn't have a lot
of is raw physical strength.

- Or friends.

(all laughing)

Clearly.

- So, she's gonna roll,

we're gonna roll for
her in the Box of Doom.

We're just gonna see what
her strength check is,

and this is gonna let you know
what Buddy Bear has to beat,

and you're gonna roll for Buddy Bear here.

- Okay, aw, thank you
for calling him that.

- Well, yeah.
- The pet name.

- Okay, she gets a 16.

- Oh shit.

- [Brennan] But she
doesn't add anything to it.

- Okay, yeah you have nothing here.

- You have nothing to add.

- You have nothing.
- You have nothing, nothing!

- What I will say is this,
you have your movement left.

If you are willing to chance it,

if you get a little bit closer,

Cat Tree will have advantage on the roll,

because Buddy Bear has an
ability called Pack Tactics,

where the closer it is to an ally,

it has advantage.

So if you're willing to be a little risky,

you could get advantage on
the athletics roll here.

- So I'm wondering if I should move,

I should just fly forward 30 feet.

- [Brennan] Yeah, great.

- That's what I'm thinking,

and I should still stay
hovered, I believe.

- Yes, absolutely.

So, you move closer in
range to help Cat Tree,

hovering over as you are.

- Should angle it down and
point her little arrow at it.

Is that a thing?

Does it angle?
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, it does angle, yes, yes, yes.

Look at that.
- Yeah!

Yeah!
- That's so cool!

- Yeah!

- [Brennan] So sick!

- [Jujubee] That's so cool.

- Make sure you get a
head shot, right there.

- Yeah.
- [Brennan] There you go.

- Yeah.

- Okay, so you have,

you're going to roll twice here,

'cause you're rolling advantage.

Buddy Bear's got a plus four to strength,

so he just needs a 12 or higher
on one of these die rolls,

and we see what happens to Zaria Hex.

- This is the one, right, to roll?

- That's the one, yeah.
- [Monét] 12 or higher.

- Okay, okay.

- You get two.

- Buddy Bear, Buddy Bear, Buddy Bear.

(dice rattles)

- That is a 16 on the die!
(all cheering)

Absolutely, wanna roll to
see if you get that nat 20?

- What if?

If you do, you're gonna
knock her fuckin' head off.

- Buddy Bear, baby, you know
I love you, and I got you.

I got you, I got all these
treats for you, baby.

(dice rattles)

- 17, still better, hey look at that!

How about it?

Incredible.

Twyla, you see Zaria looking.

She has been searching for years

for the Seed of the All Blossom,

and has come 20 feet away from it.

And she looks up at
you going, "It's mine."

- And I'm going like this.

- Jujubee, please describe the
final moments of Zaria Hex,

and what Cat Tree does in
the moment of being summoned.

- So, I look at Buddy Bear, and I'm like,

"I love you so much, Buddy Bear.

Pss pss pss pss pss."

And then Buddy Bear goes, (purrs).

(more purring)

(Jujubee hisses)

(all laughing)

But before the attack, Buddy Bear goes.

(Jujubee mews)

And then claws the bitch off.

(Brennan screams)

- Huge wounds in her back, she falls.

The one chance she had at this

not being the end of
her life is over here,

saving another ally that also
got their ass knocked off.

Zaria falls.

No, no!

(magic whooshing)

I fucking hate cats!

(Bob laughs)

- And then I hand over a treat.

Here you go, Buddy.

Meow!

- And now you've straight up got a cat

that's just still here.

- Yes, one less enemy, and a cat!

- And a cat.

- Unbelievable, yeah Twyla!

(all applauding)

- Wait, did I, is that
my, was that my mission?

- Yeah, Zaria Hex is your mission!

- Well, you can still fight.

- Yeah.
- Wow.

Actually, I'm a little tired.

(all laughing)

- And with that in mind, I
think I've had a long day.

- I think I'm gonna turn
myself into a bunkbed.

No, I'm kidding.

- So, so incredible turn from Twyla.

We're gonna continue in initiative
down to Kerwyn Foehammer.

- Shit.
- Oh god.

- Kerwyn is going to leap forward,

and use one of his three attacks

to attempt to kick Princess backwards.

- Cool, good luck.

- So, this is going to be
an opposed athletics check.

He's gonna roll,

he's raging so he rolls
with advantage as well.

He rolls two 19s.

So.
- What?

- So with plus seven, that's a 26.

- Oh shit.

- You need to get a 26 or
higher on an athletics.

If you fail the check by 10 or more,

he will knock you off into the abyss.

- Oh shit!

- And that won't happen.

- Okay.

(all laughing)

- [Bob] Okay.

- [Brennan] Here you go.

- Oh, in the Box of Doom.

- [Brennan] In the Box of Doom.

- [Jujubee] Can we save her if she falls?

How do we save her?

- Okay, all right.
- We might be able to.

We'll see.
- Oh my god, okay.

So I need, what do I need?

Okay, I have a plus eight athletics.

- [Brennan] Plus eight, so on
an 18 or higher, you beat him.

If you get a, if both of
these are seven and under,

you fall into the void.

- Let's not talk about that.

(die rattles)

- 18, you succeed!
- Yes, god!

- [Brennan] Incredible!

- Do I roll two, or just the one?

- Oh you can roll, you
wanna roll as a crit?

If you hit a nat 20, maybe
you can knock him off.

(die rattles)

16, okay, incredible.

- They were both good, though.

- Incredible, incredible rolls.

So, Kerwyn attempts to knock you back.

Unable to do so,

he instead flips over you
(grunts) landing here.

Both of you standing over, he goes,

"Good stance.

Let's try a little swordplay."

And is going to swing twice
with two sword blows in a row.

- What?

- Oh, I hope you don't fall, sis.

- But if she does, I
do have Lightning Lure?

The whip of lightning, it does damage you,

but it does bring you closer.

I don't know if that would,

oh I just heard a deep breath over there.

- Kerwyn deals 26 points of damage,

halved to 13 because you are in a rage.

You are, you're halving all
damage that comes to you.

He only deals slashing damage,

which is a type of damage

that you cut in half when you get it.

So another 13 points of damage.

How's Princess lookin' right now?

- 36 hit points.

- Okay, so Princess, you're
still standing strong

as Kerwyn glares at you.

(Brennan grunts)
(thunder booms)

That's his turn.

That's all he can do.

He's taken his swings.

Troyánn, that's gonna be you.

- Okay, so if I wanna cross over here?

- Yeah.
- How many feet is that?

- That is about 20 feet.
- Okay.

So I wanna use my free
30 feet to get there.

- So, with that, your jump
can only take you 15 feet,

so you gotta beat that 15 athletics

or acrobatics to clear that distance.

- What if you fall in?

Like it's not, can't
you just shoot that guy?

- But I don't wanna shoot him.

I wanna help you out and shoot-

- [Brennan] Yeah, yeah, yeah, I hear that.

- You're injured and your back is to him.

- Yeah, but I, 'cause I
can't shoot from here, right?

I need to clear this.

- You need to clear that.

- I can't see him from there.

So I'll, let me try to get over.

- [Brennan] Yeah, go for it.

- Okay so I'm rolling and I need to get a?

- [Brennan] You need to get a 15.

- But if she doesn't get,
okay, no you're gonna get it.

- [Bob] Yeah.
- But if she doesn't,

she can fall in the hole.

- Yes, that's correct.
- Cool.

- [Brennan] You got it.
- Maybe one of us has something

that can help her, we'll find out.

- [Brennan] So you just
need a seven or higher.

- Water Walk?

- [Monét] I need a seven or higher?
- [Brennan] Seven or higher.

- I can get a seven or higher.
- Okay, yeah of course.

- [Jujubee] Can I enlarge them?

- Wait, we can grow and stuff.

- I can enlarge allies and enemies.

- That's true, that's true.

But it's Troyánn's turn right now.

- Oh, I can only do it on my turn.

- [Brennan] You can
only do it on your turn.

- Monét, what is it?

Someone tell me what it is.

Say it, out loud with your mouth.

- I got a five.

(ominous music)

- Five?

- [Brennan] You having fun?

- [Bob] Are you-
- Okay.

- Okay, we gotta figure
out how to save this bitch.

- What does that mean, do
you add anything to that?

- We can't save her, can't we?
- Well, I will say this.

I will say this, now
might be a great time-

- To pray, Lord Jesus.

(all laughing)

- Hallowed be thy name.

- Sweet Lord Jesus, if
you use your Action Surge,

I won't make it actually
cost your extra action,

but if you use your Action Surge,

I will allow you to
re-roll that acrobatics

as a part of your move.

- That is called benevolence.

(all laughing)

- Okay.

- Let's do a benevolence check.

I think it was a nat 20.

- Okay.

10!
- There we go!

Troyánn, sprinting into action,

you leap the chasm.
- [Monét] Flip.

- Oh, not a flip.

- You don't even add a flip for a 10?

- A second ago, you could barely
walk, now you're flipping?

Now you're Simone Biles?

(all laughing)

- I am the Simone Biles
of Dungeons & Dragons.

- You were Mr. Bean three seconds ago.

Now you're Simone Biles, oh okay.

(all laughing)

- So, I clear, and I want to make, okay.

Technically, I can see both him.

- [Brennan] Yeah.

- And I can see my lil
cousin through the lil thing.

- Yes, actually through
the legs of the scorpion,

you can see your cousin.

- I can see her.
- Yes, absolutely.

- So, now the question is
should I split the difference?

Can I give you a help
out, and also hit her?

I think so, 'cause you're weak up there.

So I'm gonna do, okay my spear,

can I throw my spear?

- Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

You can throw your spear.

You also have that Lightning Javelin, too.

- Oh yes, the Lightning Javelin!

Okay.

Now the Lightning Javelin,

the reach is only five feet, though.

- Oh, but you can throw it in a line.

So you can hit 60 feet in a
line with it, if you want to.

- How do you get it back?

Can Princess rip it out and throw it?

- You only would use it one time, anyways.

- Yeah, it's a one-time thing, yeah, yeah.

And you can try to find it and
recover it after the battle,

but that big lightning effect
is a one-time thing, yeah.

- Got it, I didn't know that.

- So I can't Lightning
Javelin, and also do a longbow?

I can, right?

Attack, two strikes.

- [Brennan] You can, because
you're Action Surging this,

so you can do two things this round.

- Okay, so I'm going to do,

I want to do an Arcane Shot

to Miss Thing up here.
- Okay.

- And then I want to Lightning
Javelin cousin KeeKee.

- Hell yes, here's what we're gonna do.

- [Bob] Is that enough
distance to get KeeKee?

- Oh, that is a really
optimal thing for you to do,

because if you Lightning Javelin,

you don't just hit KeeKee,
you hit Morgan too,

because they're occupying
the same square right now.

Yeah, 120 feet, that's the
range on Lightning Javelin.

Absolutely can do it, cool.

So what you're gonna do right now

is you're actually gonna

make a ranged weapon attack, plus 11.

Do you think you're aiming

more for KeeKee, or more for Morgan?

- More for KeeKee.

- Okay, go ahead and give me

the attack roll for KeeKee, add 11 to it.

- Attack roll, add 11 to this attack roll?

- Yeah-huh.
- With a D20?

- Yeah-huh.

- And also my Lightning
Javelin says I get one D6 plus-

- Yeah, so basically it's both.

It's both a lightning spell, and javelin.

So what you're trying to resist,

they'll get hit with the
lightning either way.

This is seeing if you
also can actually plunge,

yes pierce, absolutely.

- So I need to get an 11,

I'm getting plus 11 whatever this is.

- Yes, and you need to
beat her armor class.

- 14!

- Woo, you absolutely.

So all of you watch,
it's like the whole place

is just a flash of white

as Troyánn lets loose this lightning bolt.

- So what happened is I take the javelin

out of my little Batman
belt holster thing,

and I know he's a little more
in the future, but you know,

you know it's coming.

And so I go there, and I go around.

- I mean, Mark Ronson is here,

so I guess it's kinda-
- True.

And I spin around, and
then I get on one knee,

'cause I wanna get the
perfect shot between the legs.

I take the javelin, I imbue
it with the lightning,

and it throw it right
through the Rock's legs,

through the column, and I strike KeeKee

right in her left breast.

- Ooh, right in the titty.
- Specific.

- Hell yeah!
- Are they silicone, or is it?

- No, they're real, honey.

- Oh, we're hitting DNA.
- Yeah.

But I just barely miss the areola.

- [Bob] Woo!

- Unbelievable.

So, what I'm gonna need you
to do for me is to roll,

you're gonna roll four D6.

That's just for the lightning damage.

- You get to roll 46 times, 46?

- Oh sorry, four-
- I'm just kidding.

I'm trolling, I apologize.

(Brennan laughs)

- Four.
- Okay, four?

- She's a witch and a troll.

- I had a Red Bull, I'm out of control.

- Two.

- Okay, a six?
- [Jujubee] A troll. (chuckles)

- Four, 10.

- [Brennan] 10, yep.

- And this one is a two, 12.

- So they take 12 just from
the lightning damage alone,

and now I want you to roll one D6 plus six

for the piercing damage against Keena.

- Come on, three, nine.

- Ooh, baby!

All right, so you see just lightning

tear across the battlefield.

Keena (screams).

(Monét babbling)

Morgan has now been burnt and electrocuted

in the past 12 seconds
of combat, and that's-

- Wait is it Morgan, or KeeKee?

- Well, the lightning hit both of them.

- That's right!

- [Brennan] KeeKee gets the-

- Oh my god, but her kinky ass

is probably still liking that shit.

She probably over there just fucking,

lactating at this point.

(Brennan laughs)

I think that's how lactation works now.

- I'll also say this,

technically the way the
Lightning Javelin works

is you can affect Alacranos
with it too if you want,

but I leave it up to you

whether you want to have
him get electrocuted or not.

- I do not want to hit him.

- With all of us there?

I don't know about that.

- And Monét's right there with him.

- [Brennan] Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

- I think he'll turn around and
tear me up with that pincer,

although that pincer's kinda
sexy, that little stinger.

(Brennan laughs)

- It's giving.

- Incredible.

- And now I want, and then so as I-

- [Brennan] That's just half your turn.

- So as I threw the javelin,

I did a little front,

a Miz Cracker little front
somersault roll thing,

and I got back on my knee,

and then I take out my longbow,

and I'm pulling it to aim up at Kerwyn,

and can I do two grasping arrows?

Can I get two, it's two arcanes, right?

- You can only do one
Arcane Shot per turn,

so you have one left for next turn,

but you can attack twice.

Every time you attack with your bow,

you actually attack twice.

Only one of them can be
a magical shot, though.

- Okay, so I take the first one,

just a regular bow throw,
and I throw the bow at him.

- Okay cool, give me the attack roll?

- You just throw the
whole bow, not the arrow?

You throw the bow at him?

- I'm sorry, I'm pulling back the arrow.

- Take the bow and throw it at him.

- And I rolled a seven.

- Plus 11 with the magic bow.
- Plus 11, 18.

- That still hits.

Go ahead and give me, yeah.

- Ka-chow, and he sits back, ugh.

And then I do my grasping arrow.

- [Brennan] Yeah, go ahead and roll.

- Which is a dangerous magic arrow,

restraining and poisoning Kerwyn.

- Does poisoning mean he has
residual damage or something?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

and it partially restrains him, as well.

- Purr.
- Oh, she's held.

- Fuck, it was almost a
fuckin' 20, but it's an eight.

- Eight plus 11 is still
19, that still hits.

- This one goes right to his knee.

- You're gonna roll two eight-sided die,

two six-sided die, and then add 12.

- Two.
- Whoa.

- Two do eights, and two, two do eight-

- Two D8 and two D6, and
then you're gonna add 12.

- Two do?

- Two D8.

- Toodly doot do, scattin'.

- Is that a one or a seven?

- You play DnD all day,

you start scattin' by the
end of the day, every time.

(Bob scatting)

MC Skat Kat appears over on that.

- [Bob] What do you have, Monét?

- I can't tell if it's a one or a seven.

- That's a one, one.
- Goddamn it.

- Wait, what was it again?
- A one.

- It's a one, okay.

- A nat one.

- [Brennan] Roll the second
one, roll the second one.

- You got some, she rolls one nat 20,

now she the fuck, she's
the belle of the die.

(all laughing)

The doll of the dice over there.

- Never forget, honey, never!

- Princess Die.

- Princess Die.

- Four.
- Four, okay that's five.

Now roll two six-sided die.

- Five!
- Yes.

- Okay, there we go.

- Three, eight.

- So that's eight, and
what'd you roll on the D8s?

- Five.

- So five and eight is 13, plus 12,

that's 25 points of damage to Kerwyn.

- Thank you.

- Yeah, Princess, you look
around and you see Kerwyn says,

"There's nobody in the world
who's got your back," (grunts)

and Troyánn's arrows, bam, bam!

The knee, the side,

and you see these venomous
green poison vines like sea kelp

wrap around him, and drag
him down to one knee.

You can see like The Hulk,
his muscles getting larger

as he gets more angry,

as he's trying to pull
against these grasping vines.

- And don't forget,

the barnacles are now
growing on his knees.

Remember the barnacles.

(Brennan roars)

- You see, yeah, small little crustaceans.

That is Troyánn's turn.

Gertrude, that's you.

- Okay, can she see him?

- If you, yeah, if you step back.

You'd have to move back to get
a line of sight on him, yes.

- So I'm gonna, can you
move me back a little bit?

- How, why don't you go forward, though?

- Because I can't see him
unless I go backwards.

- [Monét] But if you go forward,
you can see him from there.

- Then I'm underneath this big thing,

and I can't be close to stuff.

- Oh right, right, right, right, right.

- Actually yeah, that is true.

If you stepped to the edge,
like just 10 feet forward,

you'd be able to cast a spell,

and have movement left
after you cast to move back.

- Okay, oh yeah okay, 'cause I can do 30,

and it's not necessarily in one direction.

- It's not just in one direction.

You can split it up.
- Great band, though.

If they're watching.

- 30?
- One Direction.

- Oh.

- Jesus Christ.

So, 10 forward, then one back.

Shout out to Paula Abdul.

(Brennan laughs)

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

- [Brennan] Great.

- Wait, so I can kinda see
him from the ledge now?

- [Brennan] Mm-hmm.
- [Monét] Yeah.

- Okay, so he's really close to us,

they're still over there,

even though I do have a,

no I probably, I don't
know if I can see them.

So I'm gonna focus on him right now.

I am going to, okay I have,

I am going to, okay I have,

I have Thunder Wave.

A lightning and thunder bursts
from you in all directions,

and it scatters nearby enemies.

Only the enemies, right?

- Yes, so Thunder Wave
won't be able to hit him,

'cause it's centered on you.

- He's above me.
- He's above you, yes.

He's too far away.

- So I have to do something directional.

- I would say, yeah.

The things you have that can reach him

would be Eldritch Blast, Scorching Ray,

Fireball would hit him.

- Does Fireball hit my friends
too, or just the enemies?

- It hits your, oh, you
have a meta magic ability

called Careful Spell.

- That's right.

- Which means that you can protect your,

you can spend a sorcery point,

that you haven't spent any of yet,

to protect your friends from your spells.

- So part of me feels
like I should save it.

Oh, wait.

I was talking about doing Fireball

when they're near each other.

- You should do those two.
- And they're near each other.

- [Brennan] They are near
each other right now.

- And this is a strong one, y'all.

- [Monét] Okay.

- Fireball I think it's like my Kameyame.

- Yeah, yes, yes, yes.
- You mean your Kamehameha.

- Yeah, Kamehameha, I'm sorry, yes.

(Monét laughs)
So I'm going to-

- Kameyame.

- Sorry, so I'm going to mark off

one of my little things here.

I only have two of these.

So I'm gonna use Fireball.
- Hell yeah.

- I'm aiming it at these two.

- Work.

- Yeah, Fireball's no joke.

You're gonna deal eight D6 fire damage.

Eight six-sided die.
- Oh shit.

- You wanna borrow some for a sec?

- You wanna borrow ours, can we-

- Yeah, you wanna pool together?

We call this "sending your kids to camp."

Everyone send your
six-sided dice over to Bob.

- [Jujubee] Here you go, sis.
- Here you go, baby.

- Here you go, darling.

How many more do you need?

- I have four, I need-

- Here, is this one more here?

- I can give you my old one.
- Original one.

- Here's my old one, sis.
- Yeah, I have another.

- Don't use Brennan's little shady die.

(Brennan laughs)

- [Bob] Okay I got it,
I got it, I got six.

- You got it.
- No, you need eight.

- You need eight.
- Eight, girl.

- Oh, eight.

And I have one more here for myself.

Yeah, keep your die over there.

(Brennan laughs)

We saw how that worked out last time.

Yep, the devil die.

- Devil die.

- All right, that's two,
four, I have eight, okay.

So I just roll these now?

- You roll those, you
add 'em all together.

- Oh, let's see how she is.

- [Bob] What if it's all sixes?

- Fireball.
- Should we say six?

- Six, oh, oh.

Not three of 'em.

Six, six, six.

- Six.
- Satanic.

- One, two, three,
- [Queens] Six!

- Okay, I have a, oh god.

Okay, I have a three.
- [Monét] Uh-huh.

- A one.
- [Brennan] Four.

- A one.
- [Brennan] Five.

- A five.
- [Brennan] 10.

- A five.
- [Brennan] 15.

- A three.
- [Brennan] 18.

- A two.
- [Brennan] 20.

- And a one.
- 21 points of fire damage.

On a seven and a four,

they both fail their saving
throws and take full damage.

21 damage to Morgan and Keena.

As you see Morgan and Keena flying up,

Gertrude, what does it look like

as you use your mightiest spell on them?

- Okay, so Gertrude,

this is a place that
she does not like to go.

She likes to be in
control, she doesn't drink,

she doesn't even do anything wild,

but this one kinda takes
over her body a little bit,

so she closes her eyes,

and then as she closes her eyes,

you can just see in her pores,
in her lips, in her ears,

just the heat starts to come out.

It comes out of her pores, her skin,

and then she finally opens her mouth

and it all just kind of
gathers in front of her face,

and then it just fuckin',
at lightning speed,

it flies over, and hits her.

- What starts so small, as
it gathers and gets close,

an explosion, think about an explosion

that fuckin' size, to scale, pchow!

- Work.

- As Morgan rises, she tries her best

to wrap her wings around Keena,

and you hear (screams) as they scream,

both of them come out of
it, with her still flying,

but you see just blood
pouring out of scorched noses.

Both of them, you can tell,

have moved beneath half their hit points.

(Monét clapping)

Hell yes.

That is Gertrude's turn.

You move to step away from
the ledge, smart call.

- Did I-
- Yes.

- Did I scoot back?

- Yeah, if you wanna
scoot back, go for it.

- Scoot me back.

- KeeKee much be much stronger than me,

'cause I'm 49, and she's taken 41 damage

and she's just below half?

She's like double my, almost double-

- She's doing deals with the devil, honey.

- They're strong ass hoes.

- Princess, that is going to be your turn.

- Okay.

Well, can I fuckin',

can I attack him and do a pushing attack?

- Holy shit, yeah, you absolutely can.

- Awesome, and am I raging still?

- You are raging still,

which means that this actually,

you can bonus action Frenzy

and attack three times this
turn, if you would like.

- I would like to do that, please.

(all laughing)

- Hell yes.

Okay, you can only pushing
attack on one attack per round,

so let's just start rolling these attacks

and see how many times you hit.

So go ahead and roll your D20.

We're gonna make three attacks in a row.

- Let me return everyone's die.

I don't know whose came-

- Also, I will point out this too.

You also have an ability

that you could use here
called Reckless Attack.

That means you would roll

every one of your attacks with advantage,

but enemies would have advantage
on you when they attack.

So basically, you hit harder,

but also you're not
protecting yourself as much.

If you wanna go reckless here, you can.

- I don't know, you're only at 36.

- I'm weakened right now.

- Okay.
- I'm weakened.

- [Brennan] Go for it,
let's go ahead and roll.

- Not The Weeknd.

♪ I need ♪
- 19.

Do I add anything to that?

- Yeah, you're gonna add plus.

I believe you add plus nine every time,

so that's a 28.

You hit on your first attack.

Go ahead and roll again.
- 28 on the first attack?

- Oh, work.
- 28 on the first attack.

- Damn, bitch!

- [Brennan] Here we go.

- Nine.

- Nine plus nine.

- 18.
- Still hits.

- Okay, werk, it's a hit.

12.

- 12 plus nine, 21, hits as well.

You hit all three times.

- You, that's like almost 60.

- So, let's go ahead and
start to roll damage.

You are going to be dealing,

each time you hit with your greataxe,

it is one D12 plus eight.

- Oh shit!

- So go ahead, take
your D12, which is this-

- D12.

- It's that one actually closest to you.

That one is your D12.

You're gonna roll that three times,

and add eight every time.

- Whoa.
- Oh shit, okay.

Nine.

- Nine plus eight?
- Yeah.

- 17.
- 17 damage, unreal.

- Come on, Lasky.

- One.

- One, that's still plus
eight, so nine damage.

- Okay, 12 baby, 12!

- Seven.

- Seven plus eight.
- 15.

- Is 15.

Kerwyn looks badly hurt.

Go ahead and describe it.

What does it look like

as you just lay these
blows down on Kerwyn?

- She turns around, I'm
gonna turn her around,

'cause she wants to look at
this motherfucker in the face.

And before she hits him,

she says, "Merry Christmas, motherfucker."

(all laughing)

- And a happy New Year.

(ax thudding)

- It's mid-March.

(all laughing)

- She uses confusion attack.

- We never really talked
about how Princess is doing.

(all laughing)

Incredible, and I actually forgot here,

you're also making a pushing attack,

so Kerwyn's looking very, very injured,

but you're actually gonna
add even more damage.

Go ahead and roll one D6 for me.

You automatically do
that extra damage with-

- [Bob] Your D6, I think that I've got it.

- No, no, no, I got it.

I put both of those back.

- Like a D6, okay.

One, but it was a beautiful one.

- But it was a beautiful one,

and now he has to make
a strength saving throw.

He adds seven to this.

- How much did we hit him now?

- Like, 70 points of damage.

You've dealt a crazy
amount of damage to him.

But, here's the deal.

A pushing attack, if he fails
his strength saving throw,

you push him 15 feet in any direction.

So, he's very dangerous,
but he's badly injured.

Even if he's still up,

you've done a tremendous
amount of damage to him,

but there's a possibility

that this is the end of the line for him.

So, he adds a seven to
his strength saving throw.

So, he adds a seven to
his strength saving throw.

He adds a seven to his
strength saving throw,

but, ooh.

Your difficulty is very high,
you're incredibly strong,

so he needs a nine or
higher on the die to save.

- What die is that?

- D20.
- Got it.

- D20, so the odds are he'll save,

but there's a lot,

it's very easy to roll
a one through an eight.

Let's see if Uncle Kerwyn falls right now.

(die rattles)
- Four.

- That is a seven.
- Yes!

- Oh my god!

Alaska, Kerwyn, having stood
over you saying you had no one,

Alaska, Kerwyn, having stood
over you saying you had no one,

that's not true.

You have all of the
spirits of your family,

and more than that, you
have these, your friends.

Describe for me what
happens as you push Kerwyn

wherever you want on the map.

- As she's beating him, she
looks in his eyes and she says,

"And a happy New Year."

(all laughing)

And she pushes him.

Ah, do we wanna go that
way, or that way, girls?

- We should go that way.
- No, away from us.

- Yeah, we see him.
- Okay, that way?

- Yeah, over there.
- No, this way.

- No Jujubee, this way.
- Jujubee, away from us.

- Twyla, yes.

- Okay, so she'll push him-
- Why toward us?

- Wait, doesn't he just go into the abyss?

- He goes, well and by the
way, I want to point out.

This is not like a little tumble.

Princess pushes him 15 feet.

You can send him beyond where
he can even reach a ledge.

You can send him into the
middle of that open expanse.

- I think that sounds right.

That sounds cute.

- Incredible.

Kerwyn, again, so close.

One Foehammer away.

He sold his entire
family to the Underworld

for a shot at ruling, and he, no, no, ah!

for a shot at ruling, and he, no, no, ah!

And begins to fall, looking up,

his rage dissipating
into crass, small fear,

his rage dissipating
into crass, small fear,

as the shadows of those that he sent here

come back to welcome him into the abyss.

(Monét screeches)

- [Bob] Two down!
- Two down, honey.

- Two down, baby.

Incredible!

Yeah, give it up for Princess!

(all applauding)
- Yes!

- [Brennan] We did it,
baby, we did it, incredible.

Well, Alacranos is gonna turn here.

Now, he's not gonna-

- [Bob] We're all he has to focus on now.

- Yeah, he's not gonna focus on you,

'cause you didn't hit him
with that Lightning Javelin,

so he's gonna throw another
tail attack up at Princess.

He misses on that tail attack,

so Princess you (grunts) hit him,

and your barbarian senses
duck in the nick of time

as a huge stinger sails
right where your head was,

and then he's gonna make
two attacks on Troy-(gasp)

It's a nat 20.
- Two?

- Stop it!
- On Troyánn.

- Two nat 20s?
- Just one.

But he hits on one of his attacks,

and the other is a nat 20.

Okay.

- Well how do you, what
do you have, how many-

- [Monét] Now I have 25, and I had-

- Now wait, does that mean
Monét takes 20 points?

- [Brennan] No, no, no, it
means he deals double damage.

- So how much points
do you have right now?

- I have 45.

- 45, oh my god.

Y'all are damaging yourself.

I have 32 points.

I start with 32 points.

- I think I have like, 11 or something.

- I know, we need to heal-

- [Brennan] He hits you first for nine.

- Can I-
- For nine.

- Can I, okay wait, wait, wait.

I can shield.

- [Brennan] Unfortunately,
shield only is for you.

That's such a sad, but I
love, actually, fuck that.

I don't want that rule
to be true right now.

- When do I say something?

- I don't want that rule
to be true right now.

If you give me an arcana check of 15,

I'll let you change the rules of the game.

- Oh, shit!
- Wow.

- Give me arcana, if you can beat a 15,

you can throw a shield.
- Come on, arcana.

I need...

(dramatic music)

- It's a six.

- What do you add to arcana?

- [Bob] Plus seven, what's six plus seven?

- 13.
- 13.

- Just shy, it's okay, I tried.

- You tried.

So Troyánn, you feel like a
protective shield from Gertrude

as she attempts to wrap you

in abjuring magic to keep you safe.

- Like Invisagirl.

But she's not strong enough,
so that shit just faded away.

(Brennan laughs)

- I'm strong enough, my aim
was a little off. - Okay.

My aim was a little off.

- You are hit first for nine,

and then the critical hit
deals 24 points of damage,

so you take 33 points
of damage altogether.

- Okay, you need to heal yourself.

- You need to heal, Mary.

- You have that, don't
you have that potion?

- Can I heal right?

I have to wait 'til my turn to heal.

- You have to wait 'til your turn to heal.

- One more hit, and it's a wrap, I'm done.

- Does healing take a whole ass turn?

- Healing takes an action, yeah, yeah.

- I have 12 points left.

- Okay.

- Welcome to my life.

(Monét laughs)

- So, let's see.

She has 80 feet of movement.

- [Bob] Who has 80 feet of movement?

- [Brennan] Morgan.

- [Bob] Oh god.

- [Monét] She's gonna
bring you up that hole.

- [Bob] 80 feet, is that like a dash?

- That's a dash, so
she's using her action.

She's using her action, which sucks,

'cause she has a lot of
spells and shit she can do,

but you see Morgan is going
to fly up over this way.

- So what about her?

- Leave her down there.

- You see Morgan drops Keena
right here, on top of it.

Seeing the scorpion bear down on you,

Keena looks down and says,

"Nice spell, cuz. I'm
going to enjoy this,"

"Nice spell, cuz. I'm
going to enjoy this,"

and leaps (whooshing).

And is gonna take her attacks.

- Oh my god, I'm gonna die, guys!

- Wait, just keep, just keep your head up.

- Should we start praying?

- How many hit points do you have left?

- 12.

- You have 12 hit points left.

- What the fuck?

You can't kill Troyánn at this
stage in the fuckin' show.

- You came to the Underworld.

- We're making content here!

There has to be some arc.

- I have done nothing but
sacrificed everything I have.

I fought these-

- Not you're Angela Bassett in-

- In "Wakanda Forever."

My entire family!

- I have sacrificed everything!

(all laughing)
(haunting music)

- Keena's gonna make her attacks.

- No!
- First attack.

- I can't look.

- First attack.

(Bob yelps)
She got three.

First attack, a miss.

- Okay.
- Oh my god.

- Yeah, something is amiss.

That's for goddamn sure.

- Second attack.

(tense music)

Is a natural one.

- Oh god, Brennan you
better speak faster, bitch.

- Yeah, speak up, speed
up the speech, buddy.

- You know what?
- Thank god.

- This is huge right here.

So, we're gonna roll Box of Doom.

- That's low, that's the
best trick, natural one.

(all laughing)

I'll use that one.

- You guys are spotting all my tricks.

So, last one, she needs nines or higher

to hit you on the die.

- Okay.

- She's missed twice,
so she's due some luck,

but eight or lower, and it's a miss.

She'll have missed all
three of her attacks on you.

(die rattles)

16 hits.

Now we're gonna roll damage.

- This is gonna-

- Yeah, this is telling
me how much it's gonna be.

So, so, so, so, the
Rock is in front of me,

and then I see KeeKee,
she's spinning that thing.

She wings the first one,

I go to the left, she goes to the right.

Then she spins this again.

I go to the right, she goes to the left,

and I'm doing a back roll.

- She's gonna meet you in the middle.

(Bob laughs)

- She adds plus four to this,

so it's possible you'll
still be up if she rolls low.

She's rolling two D6 plus four.

You have 12 hit points left.

She could knock you unconscious.

If she does enough damage to
knock you to zero hit points,

you do not die right away.

You fall to unconsciousness,

and you start to make death saving throws.

We're gonna see how much damage she does.

She deals 14 points of damage.

- And I had 12.
- She only had 12.

- [Bob] Golly.

- So then-
- [Bob] Not Troyánn!

- She does the throw, I do a
back somersault into a split,

and she gets me right in the pussy.

(record scratches, music stops)
(Brennan laughs)

- Right in the, right
in the cycle of life.

- She got me right there.

(dramatic music resumes)

- She, you see, even Keena goes, oh!

As she, 'cause I thought
you were going left.

(all laughing)

And Keena leaps down to Troyánn.

- [Bob] Not the leaping!

- [Brennan] Troyánn
falls, zero hit points.

- With a pained vagina.

- I cannot believe this.

- Can we, okay.

How can we help her?

- Can I, when is it my turn?

- So now, Morgan and Keena have gone.

That's the end of the round.

Twyla, it's you once again.

- Can you help her?

- Okay, so I-
- So she's still here.

- Yes.
- [Brennan] Yes.

- I thought that I was gonna
use my turn to cure myself,

but I don't have that power, actually.

I only have the power to
heal the wounds of my allies.

- You can, yeah, you can
heal whoever you want.

- Okay, I'm gonna heal you.
- Okay, thank you.

Okay, thank you.
- I have to heal her.

- If you have the spell slots left.

You used three, and let me double check.

You have four first level spell slots.

You have one spell slot
left to do Cure Wounds,

and you can absolutely do
it to Troyánn right now.

- I think I am gonna, I have to.

Let's do it, sis.

I'm curing you, sis.

- Thank you, sis.

How much does she cure me?

I have to roll for that, probably.

- Roll one D8 and add four.

- Okay, this is a D8 right here, right?

- [Monét] The diamond?

♪ Like diamonds in the sky ♪

♪ Shine bright like a diamond ♪

♪ Shine bright like a diamond ♪

- Troyánn?

This one's for you, bitch.
- Thank you, baby.

(Brennan gasps)

What?

- Eight.
- Ah!

- Yes!
- 12 hit points restored.

- I'm back to where I was at, girl.

♪ This is the circle of life ♪

- The circle of life is an oval.

(Monét laughs)
- Incredible.

So, Twyla, sacrificing one
of your greatest resources,

which is distance and flight,

'cause this is a touch range spell.

You have to touch the person to do it.

Describe your magic

as you bring Troyánn back
from the brink of death.

- So I do this thing that
I learned in dance school

where I just go like this,

and I just, you know, I just
kinda do little circles,

and then I do a little plié,

and then I jump up into the sky,

and then I said, "Sis, I got you."

- (whooshes) Fairy
light, you smell jasmine.

(chimes tinkling)

Incredible, and also,

because you still have concentration
on it, Cat Tree can go.

So what do you want Cat Tree to do?

- Oh.
- Buddy Bear.

- Okay, Buddy Bear.

Who-
- [Monét] Fucking-

- Well, maybe Cat Tree can
distract the scorpion thing.

- Distract, we wanna kill KeeKee.

- Can Buddy Bear move, and then like-

- Yeah, Buddy Bear can do the same thing

that regular people can do.

- Can I just say, this
scorpion seems to be

just attacking who's either
nearby, or who's upset him.

- Yeah, we need to just
get away from the scorpion.

- [Jujubee] Right.

- [Bob] He's just in the thick of it all.
- Or get him away from us.

- And the one that we're
really gunning after right now

is Morgan, right?

'Cause that's the only-

- Well, lil mama KeeKee
is right down there.

- Oh, I can't even see KeeKee.

- Stand up, girl, get in there.

- [Brennan] KeeKee's on the other side

of the scorpion right here.

- I can't even stand up, actually.

- She's right in front of
Monét, and Monét is weak.

- You and I are like, right at her.

- And KeeKee is over halfway dead.

She is close to Monét,
who is a quarter dead.

- Okay.

All right, let's see.

- We need to get these hoes out of,

can the cat taunt the
scorpion or something?

- I can grapple.

I can grapple one of them, right?

- Yeah, so the cat can definitely,

with this elevated platform here,

the cat can definitely make
the leap to that platform.

It could go there, it could
try to distract the scorpion,

it could try to grapple the scorpion,

it could grapple, or even attack Keena.

Totally up to you.

- I think there's something
in the way, 'cause I-

- [Monét] There's nothing in the way.
- There's nothing in the way?

I'd ideally knock Keena off,

because there is a push, I can shove.

- I'm in the way, I'm in front of her.

- [Jujubee] But then
that would knock you off.

- Unfortunately, Keena is one
step removed from the edge,

so a shove would only
get her part of the way,

but you could damage
her, if you wanted to.

You could just have Cat Tree attack, claw-

- How damaged is she right now?

- She's more than half.

- [Bob] She's more than halfway done.

- She's bleeding, she's a little bloody.

- [Bob] She has 42 damage.
- Yeah, hit her.

- [Bob] 42 is over half of her damage.

- Because after you, I get
to go, 'cause Kerwyn is dead,

so I get to go after
Kerwyn, and I'm gonna,

and KeeKee still has a
javelin that's I sent her,

stuck right in the left titty.

I'm about to pull that
shit out and get her ass.

- Just wiggle it, wiggle it.
- Wait a minute.

Can Buddy Bear cast a spell?

- Buddy Bear does not have
any spells, he is a spell.

So he doesn't have any magic of his own,

so he can attack,

and he would actually have it,

because he'd be next to you,

he'd have advantage on the attack.

- Which means it would be stronger,

and I could roll twice, twice right?

- You could roll twice and take
the better roll, absolutely.

- Okay, so I think we should, uh, fuck.

- Okay, so I think we should, uh, fuck.

Grapple, attack?

- I would say attack.

- Which one is the stronger one?

Or you don't know?

- He would deal one D8 plus six.

He would attack at a
plus seven attack bonus.

So he's pretty tough.

But he could also try to
grapple, or knock her prone

so that Troyánn had advantage
on her attacks, as well.

- Now Troyánn, what do you think?

'Cause you're pretty
beat right now, right?

- During my turn, this is gonna be,

so I can only attack once during my turn

'cause I get do it twice,

I'm gonna use my potion to heal,

and then attack, so.

- Okay, let me do the
attack with advantage.

I think that's the smartest roll.

- [Monét] Good, good, good.

- Go ahead and roll two D20.

So yeah, roll your D20 twice.

- Okay.

You know what?

Why not do this one?

Is this a D20 as well?

Can I do both?

- Yeah, and then you
just pick the higher one,

yeah absolutely.

(dice rattle)

- Five.

- Is the higher one?
- It's a three and a five.

- Five is the higher one?

Okay, Cat Tree leaps forward
(yowls) and Keena (whooshes)

surrounds herself with
this spiral of chain,

and shields herself from
the claws of the cat.

That is Cat Tree's turn.

Twyla, you have healed her, Kerwyn's dead.

Troyánn, it comes to you.

To clarify, your Action Surge is used up.

You made the javelin and
attacks the other round,

so you have to choose between
trying to finish Keena off,

or taking that potion.

You can't do both in the same round.

(dramatic music)

- [Jujubee] Keena can hurt you, sis.

- Yeah, I need to heal.

I need to heal.

- But could she, isn't Keena gonna do it

right after you, though?

- It's a balance between how
much you think you can heal,

versus how much damage you
think Keena will do on her turn.

- Keena's just, she girl, she
is, the beat goes on with her.

No matter how much we hit
this hoe, she just doesn't-

- So, we each have turns before her.

- Yeah, but I don't know, can you?

Oh yeah, you can see her.

- Yeah, just so you all know
what I'm planning on doing,

because they are all very close now.

What I was gonna probably
do was go over there

and Thunder Wave, and
scatter these people,

'cause they are near each other,

so I was planning on going
over there and being like, psh.

- [Monét] So I'll heal.

- I don't know, she's in the air.

I don't know if it's
gonna, does it affect her?

- Fireball those hoes.

- I'll heal, I think I have to heal.

I'm gonna heal.

- Cool, go ahead and four D4 plus four.

- Four D4s, plus a four.

The D4, they would.

This tiny little, shady little die.

(Brennan laughs)

(Monét yelps)
- Four.

- Four, great.

Three more times.

- Two.
- Okay.

- With nails, the D4 is really special.

- Truly.

Four.
- Okay, that's 10 so far.

- You're killing it.

- [Bob] Oh I get it,
the number at the top.

- Two.

- Two, that's 12 plus four is 16.

You heal another 16.
- Wait, oh plus four, okay.

So I go up 16.

- [Brennan] So 16, so now you're at 28,

which is way better than
you were a moment ago.

- That's how old I am.

- Gertrude, that's gonna be your turn.

- Yeah, 28 year old Gertrude.

(Monét laughs)

- Okay.

So, will Thunder Wave hit
her, or is she too high?

- She's too high, so
it's only gonna be people

right next to you.

And you have to get over
to that other platform.

- Oh yeah, that's right.

And I don't have a lot of jumping power.

She's not known for her leaping prowess.

So when I, okay, here's what I have.

♪ La la la la la la la la ♪

Okay, okay.

I have a Counterspell,
which I want to save

'cause I feel like if she
does something wild to me,

I'm gonna need that Counterspell,

so that's why I don't wanna use Fireball.

Cause if I use Fireball, then I
cannot use Counterspell again.

- Werk.

- I still have Thunder Wave.

- You also do have Scorching Ray.

You can cast Scorching Ray

with your second level spell slots.

You can cast, as long as you
have available spell slots,

you can cast that spell over
and over again if you want.

- Oh, fierce, okay.

She's right near in front of you.

Are her chains protecting her still?

- Yes, it looks like her
chains are protecting her,

but she is still wounded.

It's not impossible to hit her.

- Yeah, we got her in a good spot.

- Yeah, try to get her.

Polish her off. - We should just go
in for the fucking kill, all right.

I wanna get a better shot,
so I am gonna scoot over.

I wanna get a better shot,
so I am gonna scoot over.

- Hell yeah.
- Here.

I can see her even better.
- Cool.

- Let me just turn you around,

'cause right now, you're
just staring at the wall.

- Sorry, I'm not wearing my glasses.

I can also avoid hitting the scorpion.

- [Brennan] Yeah.
- Yeah.

- Good idea.
- And I'm going to use

Scorching Ray.
- [Brennan] Cool.

- Obsessed with that name.

Scorching Ray, I'm gonna do a little dot.

I have now used two of those.

- And you're gonna make three attacks.

- Three attacks, and this is with-

- D20.
- D20.

- [Brennan] And you're
adding a nine each time.

- Roll three of these plus nine.

- And you're attacking who?

- [Monét] KeeKee.
- KeeKee, cool.

Go ahead and roll.

- KeeKee wanna kaikai.

- That is a nine.

- Nine plus nine is 18, that hits.

- This is a 14.

- Yes!
- That hits.

- And this one is a five.

- Five plus nine is 14, that does not hit.

- [Bob] Okay, got two hits.
- Go ahead.

Roll four six-sided die.

- Four six-sided die.
- Do you need some children?

- Yeah, let me get two kids.

I need one more kid.

All right, here we go.

Wait no, I have to take a lot.

Okay there we go, I got it.

(dice rattle)

I got a six.

- Yes.

- A five.
- 11.

- Four.
- And two ones.

- Shit!
- [Brennan] Okay.

- 13.

- Fire streaks from Gertrude's hands.

Keena is hit, gah, stumbles back.

You see the fear of death in her eyes.

She is close.

She is on death's door.

- [Bob] How much damage did I do to her?

- [Brennan] You just did 13 damage to her.

- 13, that's-
- How much is she at?

- She's at 55.

- She has probably 60, maybe.

- Well, she's not lookin' good.

And now you can get the final blow.

- Princess, that's gonna be you.

- No, Princess, if you can do it.

- Do you want me to, or do you want to?

'Cause maybe I can punch this guy.

- Oh yeah, I mean.

- I'm not gonna presume her gender.

- Their.

- Can I punch someone who's flying?

- Well, I think that she has another move.

Okay, I think you have to get over there,

and she has another move
before Monét has a move.

Is that correct?

- Yes, so Morgan is,

so coming up next, before, so at Princess,

all of your enemies are
going to go after your turn.

So, every one of your foes has a turn,

and then you will all act again.

- We should get KeeKee, because
there's a possibility for,

I'm sorry, to knock her out,

so we'll have less foes.

- Yeah.
- I think.

- Okay.

- Does that make sense, or am
I not playing this game right?

- No, no, I think, I don't think any of us

know what we're doing.

- Yeah.
- You're doing great.

- I have no idea what I'm doing, ladies.

- So I think, yeah.
- [Monét] We take KeeKee out.

- Well, can you get to KeeKee?

I mean, you're almost over there.

- Yeah, how's she gonna get down?

- [Bob] She moves like, 60.

- Oh yeah, she's fast.

- And she's strong, too.

So the strength is probably gonna be

something that is necessary.

- And then we can all gang up

on this fuckin' Scottish bitch.

- Morgan.

- Morgan, yes, absolutely.

- If I can attack KeeKee, then
yeah, I'd like to do that.

- Hell yeah, you can leap
down right into the mix,

and make your attacks.

Go ahead, give me athletics check.

You're gonna do it with advantage.

This is just to avoid the falling damage.

- Athletiques.

- Athletiques, as they say.
- [Bob] Woo, not this.

- A 14 plus eight.

- [Brennan] 22, hell yeah.

You avoid it, leap down next to Cat Tree,

or you can leap right in front of her

if you wanna do in between
her and your friends here?

- [Monét] Yeah.
- [Alaska] Yes.

- [Monét] Act as a shield.

- Cool, Princess?

- That's Princess's style.

- Princess's style.

You leap right there.

You can go ahead and make
three attacks against Keena.

- [Jujubee] Yes.
- Yeah, so she's done.

- Do I roll D20?

- [Brennan] Roll D20.
- She is fucking done.

- [Bob] Not Monét got knocked out.

- I know, that was stressful.

- Seven.

- A nat seven.
- Do I add something?

- You're gonna add nine to
that, so that's gonna be a hit.

- [Alaska] Okay.

- 16, and that 16 just hits Keena.

That's her armor class.

- So nothing lower than that.

- Yeah, we can't get anything, no 15s.

- Two.

- [Bob] I said anything lower than that.

- Oh, oh now I get what you mean.

Oh, oh I see, okay.

Six.

- Okay, you hit once.
- Dorothy, Dorothy.

Dorothy.

- Hold on one second.
- Fuck, dude.

- So, I'm gonna write a number down.

- And we gotta guess the number?

- [Brennan] No, no, no.

- If we guess the right number, it hits?

- You're gonna roll one D12,

and you're going to add eight to it.

I have written down, on a piece of paper,

how many hit points Keena has left.

So roll your D12, and you tell me.

- [Bob] Just don't get a 12.

- That is a nine plus-
- Eight, 17.

And she has?
- 16 hit points left.

(all cheering)

Oh baby, there it is!

- Oh my gosh!

(all cheering)

- There you go!

Alaska, describe for me what happens

as you leap in between Troyánn and Keena.

- Princess jumps down into the fray.

She jumps in front of her
friends to protect them,

and she raises her ax and goes, (growls)

and then she turns around
to Troyánn and she's like,

"Do you want me to do this, are you sure?"

- Do it.
- Okay, okay.

Ah, pbbth, right into her head.

- Boom!

(Brennan yells)

- I love that the broken English
orc is just a bit she does.

She talks perfectly fine.

(all laughing)

It's just a bit she does.

- It's just a bit.

It's cover, it's cover, it's cover.

The splatter of blood

as one who had come here to hunt you down,

a traitor in your midst,

someone dedicated to this cause

of preserving this immortality of rot

at the heart of Everdeep,

Keena, cousin KK, KeeKee, boom!

Chain links slowed, as the
chain is split in mid-air,

and Keena of Everdeep falls before you.

- [Monét] Yes.

- You have defeated three
of your four enemies,

if you're not counting
the big scorpion guy.

- Yeah, now he's just zoning in on us more

because she's up in the air,
and we're all in the area.

- [Jujubee] And she, what
is she doing, just watching?

- [Bob] She's just enjoying.

She's not an enemy, she's
just watching us on TV.

- Just watching us on TV.

Okay, scorpion's gonna go.

That is a miss on Princess.

- [Bob] Werk.

- That is a miss on Troyánn.
- Oh, thank god.

- Jesus.

- No, not the mouth cover.

Not the mouth cover.

- That is a crit on Cat Tree.
- What, critical?

- Critical, nat 20, on Cat Tree.

- I thought he couldn't die.

- Oh, he can very much,

but he lives forever, he's a spell.

So, but he might be dispelled.

- Oh.
- He just vanishes.

- Oh, I wanted him to live forever.

- He just vanishes, he's
not dead, he just gone.

- Okay, I hope he doesn't die.

- Rains down 24 points of damage,

leaving Buddy Bear with
six hit points left.

Buddy Bear is still up.

- Again, he's not dying,
he just goes away.

He's not-
- I know.

- Buddy Bear turns around, and
with that, Alacranos is done.

Morgan is going to fly over all of you,

and unfortunately,
Keena was the only thing

keeping her from going all out,

which is what she's gonna do now.

- She's about to rage on us.
- She'll do some magic shit.

- Looking at all of you,
she takes her hands.

The scorching power of the
light of the ever-gazing sun,

and you see a cone of burning light

originate in her hand.

She is going to cast a Cone of
Searing Light on all of you.

Powerful spell erupting
from the tip of her spear.

She's gonna cast it on everybody.

- Including scorpion dude?
- Including scorpion dude.

(Brennan sighs)

- It's got like a cone?

It's like one of those clear things?

We're gonna see what her range is on this?

Oh, that's a lot of-
- Oh my god!

- I'm in the clear.

Am I in the clear?

- Yeah.
- You're in the clear.

- She's gonna "Dragon Ball Z" us.

The whole earth is gonna shatter.

- [Bob] Seems upsetting.

- Okay.

- You're just so comfortable,

just watching from
afar, enjoying yourself.

- I'm fighting!

- Incredible.

Okay, she is going to-
- I apologize.

Seems uncomfortable.

- A tremendous amount of damage
incoming from this spell.

- Not tremendous.

- I don't have a tremendous
amount of health.

(Bob laughs)

So.

- Here we go.

I will ask, this time,

if there, what's that?

- I'm just waiting.
- Just waiting.

(dice rattling)
(tense music)

- Oh come, don't do that face.

- I'm gonna need
constitution saving throws

from Twyla, Princess, and Troyánn.

- Constitution, so what's my constitution?

Ooh okay, so six.

- Check your constitution
before you come for me.

- [Jujubee] And it's
a D20 for that, right?

- Oh bitch, I'm good.

- What do you have?

- I have a 17 plus six.

That's 23.

- 23, okay amazing.

(ominous music)

- Seven plus two, I have a nine.

- [Brennan] Okay.

- I have a 17 plus seven?

- [Brennan] Okay.

- Twyla.

- So you both make the save.

Twyla, you do not.

33 points of radiant damage.
- How many points do you have?

- I think I'm dead.

- No, you have 44 points.

- Yeah, you've taken some damage already.

- So I'm gone.

- Is she gone?

Tell us what's happening.

- Are you keeping track
of your hit points?

- I think I literally
only had like, 14 left.

- Wait, tell us what's going on.

- Bitch.
- Tell us.

- No!

- I believe you had 16 left,

so 33 is enough to drop you to zero.

- But do you have your potion still?

- I don't have a potion.

- Do you have a Strength of the Grave?

- Twyla does not have a
Strength of the Grave.

- Only you do, bitch.

- I'm going to use Counterspell.

- Ooh!

- I'm gonna cast it over there.

I can do it during her turn,

so I'm throwing casting spell.

Aren't you glad I'm over here now?

I throw casting spell.

- You just get so much, you
jump on top of the cage, honey.

- I don't know if I can do that.

- You are the Storm of the Underworld.

(all laughing)

- [Brennan] Okay.

- By the powers of the Serengeti!

(Monét laughing)

- For the winds of the
four corners of the Earth!

- So, it still could
potentially go through.

It comes down to a die roll,

'cause she's casting a high level spell.

- [Monét] Come on, these die.

- So, you need to hit, and
this is definitely Box of Doom.

You're about to, if this works,

DC for her is 15, you're adding
your charisma, which is plus five.

So you need a 10 or
higher on a 20-sided die.

- I thought it was plus eight.

- [Brennan] Oh no,
that's your saving throw.

This is a raw charisma check.

- Drag me, plus five.

- Plus five, so you need a 10 or higher.

- 10 or higher, it's a 50/50.

- [Brennan] 50/50.
- It's a 50/50.

(whisper) It's a 50/50.
(tense music)

(dice rattles)
- Two.

- Oh Jesus Christ.

- Well girl, you tried.

- So did I waste my counter?
- Yes you did.

- I did, you know what?

We're not, all's not lost.

Let me make a little mark here.

All's not lost, all's not lost.

- Oh wait.
- Yeah.

- Could I have done my
Deep Bank of Concealing Fog

to cover us so that the
swing might've missed?

(tense music starts playing)

- I'll say this, if you want to

forestall your next turn to
aid in a little bit of magic,

I'll allow one re-roll.

Does that seem worth it to you?

- So then I won't be able
to attack next round?

- [Brennan] You won't be able
to attack next round, but-

- You're offering help,

but I can save all of you from this hit.

- Yeah, let's do it.

- [Bob] How much damage is
this hit doing to everyone?

- It missed us.
- 33.

- [Bob] Oh, it's just her.

- Well, it deals half damage to you still,

so it's still 16 to each of you.

- But if he counters,
it misses us completely.

- Misses you completely.

- Okay, okay.
- [Monét] Give it a try.

Come on, Gertie.

- [Brennan] Here's a re-roll.
- Okay, touch them.

Touch it, touch it, touch it,

touch it, touch it.

- [Monét] Come on, Gertie.

- Touch it, touch it, touch it, touch it!

What is it?
- Nat 20!

(all cheering)

- Oh my god.

(Jujubee screaming)

- I'm so sorry, that was so bro of me.

(Jujubee screams)

- I'm gonna say, with the power of that,

you see, as this Counterspell goes up,

the anxiety, you can
feel it creeping back in.

Mist from the ocean,
Troyánn looking across,

thinking of the journey
all the way to Greeley,

to the Underworld, to Hollowgrave,

here to the heart of death itself, whoosh!

On a nat 20, not only is
all that damage prevented,

Morgan takes half the
damage of the spell herself.

- [Monét] Yas!

- Okay, so in this moment,
Gertrude sees the spell

and it's almost like everything moving in

(slowed down) slow motion.

And then she takes her hand like this,

and she takes a hand like this,

and she goes, I saw someone else do this,

and it worked for them.

And she balls her hands up,

and she goes, "Ma ma se,
ma ma sa, ma ma coo sa,

ma ma se, ma ma sa, ma ma coo sa,

ma ma se, ma ma sa, ma ma coo sa,"

and tries to intercept
the spell, and it works.

And then it blasts back,
and it hits this bitch.

- Yeah.

- With just that, you see (yells)

the light scorching over her own face.

She looks horrified, she
looks back at death's door.

- How much damage did we just do to her?

- She just took 16 damage herself,

and again, this is not
happening on Gertrude's turn.

This is something you did on her turn,

so her turn, not only
does the spell not work,

her turn's over.

- Werk.
- [Brennan] That's all she does.

- Yes.
- She's up to 58 damage now.

- So now Twyla, Princess-
- Twyla, that is you.

It is your turn, once again.

- Thanks for the re-roll.

- Okay, Twyla.

- I'm sorry, I love the four drag queens

trying to touch hands.

We were like, but don't do my nails.

(Bob laughs)

- Okay, where am I?

- [Bob] You're right here
in front of the rock.

- But, three of your four foes are dead,

and Morgan looks incredibly wounded.

- Okay.
- Do you need to go up there on her level?

- Can you magic attack her?
- [Jujubee] I-

- [Bob] You should go up
to her level too, I think.

- Yeah.
- Yeah, I can fly up.

I can move up to 30 feet, and fly up,

and then there is-
- I'm moving back too.

- My Buddy Bear's fine, right?

- Buddy Bear's fine, yeah.

The spell was canceled.

Everything's good.

- So, Buddy Bear can assist me.

- If you want Buddy Bear to
give you the help action, yeah,

he can just come and assist you

if you want to launch a
ranged attack against her.

- 'Cause the attack that I can do

that is, my strongest weapon
is the longbow, right?

And what is a ranged attack for me?

- Is a plus 11 to hit.

- I think I should do that.

I think that's the best thing.

Don't you think that's the
best thing for this right now?

- And Buddy Bear's gonna
give you the help action,

so you'll roll with advantage.

- Let's do that, let's do that.

I think that doubles it up.

- And you're going 30 feet up, correct?

- Yeah, that's the most I can go without-

- Yeah, I think that's the
right move, absolutely.

Absolutely, okay.

- Well, going up counts as a-

- Yeah, as movement, yeah.
- [Jujubee] Okay.

- Flying means you move
in three directions,

so I love this mini so much.

Twyla-

- Can I go diagonal towards-
- Yeah.

You wanna get closer to her?

- I feel like I should, 'cause
she's very weak already,

and then if I'm closer,
Buddy Bear comes up,

Buddy Bear is, the closer we are together,

he's stronger, right, if he's helping me

or is that only when he does it himself?

- He's gonna stay land-bound,

but he can help you on the
ground before you take off.

Buddy Bear comes over to you and (growls).

(Jujubee purrs)

Honey and jasmine and
magic wraps around you.

You have the help action from Buddy Bear,

as he gives a little cat-like kiss to you.

And go ahead and roll your
two attacks with advantage.

- Okay, two attacks.

That's this one, right?
- Yeah, it's that one right there.

And you can roll your other
D20 too if you wanna roll them-

- You know, the last time it-
- [Monét] That didn't work out, yeah.

- [Brennan] I love it, I love it.

- Brennan, that seems like shady advice.

(Brennan laughs)

- That is a-

- Three.
- Three.

- But you're rolling with
advantage, so roll again,

and take the better-
- Next one gonna slap.

Should I slap her so it slaps?

- Yeah, slap me.

You can, one, hit me, for real.

This way.

One, two, three.
- One, two, three.

(Jujubee gasps)

- Four.
- Four.

- Oh goodness.

It was higher than three.
- It really worked.

- It was a soft slap.

- That was a really soft slap.

- So you're adding 11 to that.

- Okay, so 15.
- 15 does not hit.

You have a second attack.

You're rolling this
with advantage as well.

Go ahead and roll your
second longbow attack.

- Watch, we're all gonna hit her.

We all have a round.

- Not me, I gave up my
thing so y'all could-

- That's right, well we got some-

- Nat 20!
(all cheering)

(Jujubee shouting)

(Jujubee growling)

- [Brennan] Incredible.
- Oh, that was so straight.

(all laughing)

That was such a-
(Bob grunts)

(Jujubee grunts)

Okay, sorry.
- Bring a flagon of beer!

- Aha, I feel like I'm in a frat.

(all laughing)

- I think this is exactly what a frat is.

Dressing up in heels,
makeup, and playing, yeah.

- I'm so sorry about that.

That was really out of character.

- No, I understand.

When the spirit moves
you, what can you do?

So, I'm gonna need you to roll
two D8, and add six to it.

- Wanna borrow mine, or
you gonna do two at a time?

- You know what, you've
been really good luck.

- Okay, borrow mine.

- Is this the, is this?
- That's the D8.

No, that's a D10, sorry.

- She's been good luck?

She just made you roll a four.

You know what, take one
of mine, take one of mine.

- Take one of hers, take one of hers.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Here.

- Actually, can I get yours?

I'll roll yours and hers.

- D8?
- Yeah.

- Yeah, mommy.

- Yeah, this is nice, okay.

I don't know what that
is, I didn't see it.

- It's an eight.
- That's an eight.

- [Brennan] It's an eight?
- [Monét] Oh shit.

- That's a five.
- A five.

- Okay.
- 13 plus six.

- 19.
- 19, it hits.

- [Monét] How many does she have?

- 13.

- Yeah, oh did we just
beat, we beat everyone!

- There's still more.
- What?

- We still have Mr. Scorpion.

- But Mr. Scorpion is not gonna hurt us.

- Yeah, we don't know what he's up to.

- Twyla, describe what happens

as you fly up towards this burning

angel inquisitor overhead,

as (shouts) as the counterspell
still scorches her skin.

Your first arrow flies wide,

she swats it out of
the way with her spear.

Your second arrow strikes true.

Tell me what happens.

- My second arrow, I do this
thing where I pump my chest up,

and then I go like this,

and then I say, "You ready, bitch?

'Cause I'm about to get you."

(Jujubee yelps, trills, and meows)

(Brennan laughs)

- There it is.

(Tongue pop)
(Brennan grunts)

(dramatic music)

(Brennan gasps)

- No, I'm not ready for the light.

And you see where the
arrow strikes her, light,

and her entire body
(screams) bursts into light.

She scatters-

- [Monét] It's like the
end of "Hocus Pocus."

- Yes, and vanishes.

As she vanishes, you
hear, from the throne.

- Oh my gosh.

- I've seen enough.

(tense music)

- Oh.
- What the hell?

- What is it, what is it,

what is it, what is it, what is it?

- A live animal?

- What is it, what is it?

What's she doing now?

- She steps forward.

- Oh god.
- [Bob] Oh god.

- Oh, she's fierce.
- We don't know what she's gonna do.

- Girl, she's in attack mode.

What do you mean?
- We don't know.

Let's just not assume.

- She looks and says, "I've seen enough.

Alacranos!

Come back over here."

The scorpion turns to rejoin her,

and correct me if I'm wrong,

nobody here ever attacked the scorpion.

- We never, we decided not to.

- We never hit him.

- Yeah, 'cause you were like, don't.

- So you never made an enemy, well chosen.

- Woo.
(Bob claps)

- [Alaska] Good choice, ladies.

- I think I even protected
the scorpion at one point.

- I believe you did, yes.

And it's true.

She looks at all of you and says,

"Four heroes, four foes,

all four defeated.

And I believe, as a woman of
my word, I said four wishes."

Heroes of the Underworld,
you are victorious!

(triumphant music)
(all cheering)

Incredible!

- Oh my god.

- We leave combat.

You have defeated all of
your enemies, amazing job.

What an incredible, incredible combat.

You all now behold here in this place,

the light shifts, the light comes back up,

and as you're looking here, Gertrude,

give me an insight check with advantage,

if you'd be so kind.

- Okay, I'm getting an 11.
- Okay.

- And a 14.

- 14, and do you add your insight to that?

- My insight is plus two, so it's 16.

- 16, you step forward.

You see Thanara, goddess
of the Underworld.

I must say, I was wildly entertained.

I must say, I was wildly entertained.

You are exceptional heroes

to have come and braved this place.

Very few would think to
enter the Underworld,

in the temple of a goddess
whose name is forgotten.

And here, Gertrude, you see this,

and actually, I think Troyánn,
you recognize this too

because you saw it in Gertrude.

You see a deep sadness.

It is my lot to reign here eternally.

- Oh, she has to.

- Unchanging.

I think Gertrude, you see a sadness

that you know all too well,

of someone who cannot,

or believes that she cannot change.

That this is her life forever.

The wishes are yours.

You have won them,

through strength of arms,
and magical prowess.

I hope you take them, and return
to whatever life you lead,

and that it brings you some small joy.

Very well, for what do you wish?

- Let's do one of our huddles.

- Oh, there's a huddle, okay.

- I have a question.
- Hi, so.

- We can just walk out of here now,

because we got the head
honcho is on our side,

and I think she was entertained.

I think it was the one-liners.

I think it was the 'Merry
Christmas' that really got her.

- She really liked it, yeah.

- I saw her kinda go, I saw
when you said it she went,

she did one of these, she was like.

- She did, she broke character
for a second, yeah she did.

- So, okay, this might be crazy.

So I feel like I'm doing fine.

I haven't been trapped under
a thing in a long time.

Maybe she, okay, I don't know
who put this curse on her.

This might not work at all,
I'm just spitballing here,

'cause she did something for us.

What if I gave her my vial,

and she broke her own curse?

'Cause she's sad.

Like she wants something, but she seems-

- But then she wouldn't break your curse.

She hasn't done it yet. - She's so
noble that she's not asking for it.

She seems so noble that she's
not asking for anything,

but she also seems trapped
so maybe that wouldn't work.

I don't know, I'm just
throwing that out there.

- I mean, if you wanna stay immortal,

or you don't care, 'cause
you haven't been trapped,

drowning for 1,300 years, in a long time.

- [Bob] Maybe this isn't the only vial.

- Didn't we just win this?

- We did, we did!

But I'm saying, maybe this

isn't the only vial
like this in the world.

- Well, where would you
get a second one from?

- Well, I'm trying to go back upstairs

so I can plant this seed.

- Yeah.

- So I'm just wondering,
I don't know if I should,

it seems like she is
longing for something,

and we can, it feels
like a Snow White moment.

- I mean, give her your vial, then.

Just keep immortality.

- But then you won't break your curse.

- Or I'll just try to break
it another way, another day.

- You know what, we're all friends now.

We can travel the world trying
to find you another vial.

- I guess we have to come back.

- Not down here.

I think there's one in heaven.

(Brennan laughs)

- Little nicer scenery.

Also, we don't even know,

this might not even work, so
we should just go over there

and just kind of pitch it and-

- This is our world.

- I'll go last, you all go first,

and I'll think this through.

- Okay.

- You approach the dais.

You see as you sort of
walk over, Alacranos goes,

(low growling) "By the way,
I'm sorry about stabbing you

with my poison stinger earlier.

You know, I just, I get a
little frisky, up in the mix.

I'm gonna go to the mess
hall and grab a bite to eat."

And you see he turns around,

Alacranos heads off to
give you some privacy.

- He was in a rage too, his blind rage.

- So, Thanara looks and says,

"I know that there are wishes here.

You spoke them as you entered this hall.

For what do you wish, and
what boon might I grant you?"

- (low and growly) I would
like, (clears throat)

(Bright and clear) Oh sorry. I would like-
(all laughing)

She just had a sore throat.

- No, no!

- The whole time, the whole thing?
- The whole journey, yeah.

No, she had like a
laryngitis or something.

- I had a Ricola in my purse, girl.

- Oh, you did?

See, that would've changed-

- Even after that tea, you were?

- It would've changed everything, yeah.

- It was a cold brew,
it was a cold brew tea.

- So I was wondering if
it's not too much to ask,

could you restore life to
my entire family lineage,

except for that one guy?

- Be specific, yeah you gotta be specific.

- Not that guy.

Just because they were wrongfully,

like, extinguished before their time.

(Brennan sighs)

- She closes her eyes,

and you see, she says,

"To return even one soul to the living

is quite a feat.

An entire bloodline, what
a miracle you asked for.

But, you straight up split
that lady's head in half,

and that was wild to watch.

I can make it happen."
(fingers snaps)

And you (gasps) rising up from the void,

suddenly you are surrounded
by smoke, mist, vapor,

and suddenly hands, hands reaching out,

hands holding you, embracing,

and suddenly, you hear

(Throaty, Congested) My da- (coughs)

(Clear) My daughter!

(all laughing)

My sweet daughter.

- It's a family bit.
- We all caught it.

No, we all caught it around the same time.

- [Brennan] It's a bug, it's a bug.
- It's the cedar, the cedar.

- Cedar, that fucking cedar.
- [Brennan] It's the ce-

We're all highly allergic to cedar.

Hi, I'm Ronarian Foehammer.

This is my daughter, Princess.

A hero of the Underworld,
can you believe it?

(all cheering)

- Hey, Dad.

(Brennan laughs)

- Your family gathers round
and kisses you on the cheek.

You are reunited with
the Foehammers once more.

Thanara looks and says, "I
let souls go only very dearly.

I wish you joy for the time
you have together now."

- Thank you.

- You see, your mother leans in and says,

"You know such famous people now."

- I know.
- Oh my god.

Can I have an autograph?

(Brennan laughs)

- Thanara turns her gaze to the rest.

Yeah, Troyánn, Twyla, Gertrude?

- Hi.

- [Brennan] Thanara
turns to look at Troyánn.

- Queen Thanara.

After working for my mother,

and finding out the deceit of her ways,

I truly would come here,

and I would like to wish for
you to bring my father back.

- What?

- That's what she wishes?

- I said what I said.
- Wow.

- Twyla.

- [Bob] She didn't stutter.

Not the innocent people you killed, okay.

- You see that she says, "Of course."

She, and all of you see is
this beautiful Elven man

appear before you.

He looks-
- Father.

- Oh sugar, and he goes and he hugs you.

He says, "I'm so sorry.

I made that deal so fast.

I didn't think to get
message to you first.

To just vanish from the
world, it was not fair.

You were so young.

We only had 75 years together.

I love you."

- I love you too, Father.

Now let's take down Mother.

- Ooh.

- I say hell yeah to that.

- Not part two.

- And we'll see you on season 19.

(all laughing)
(House music)

- That's how you secure a franchise.

(all laughing)

- Oh, she wanted a spinoff.

Oh, I get it.
- [Bob] Not a spinoff.

- A Spinoff, I love it.

- Monét's gonna be back
with three different queens.

(Monét laughs)

- Troyánngela.

- Uh, you see, he says,

"Yeah we got our work cut out for us.

Inira, she wants to live forever,

and If she does, there's a lotta souls

she's put in this place, and
we've put in there for her,

and we gotta do something about it."

- Yeah.

- "Be an honor to fight
by your side, sweetheart."

- You too, Father.

Manolikalana.

- Manolikalana.

You see that he smiles, and Thanara,

you see there's a pain in Thanara's eyes

as she looks down at that,

and she turns over to Gertrude and Twyla.

and she turns over to Gertrude and Twyla.

Hm, how touching.

- You haven't gone yet.

- You should go last.

- Okay, I'll go last.

- You should, 'cause you're
still gonna do that thing, huh?

- Yeah, I'm gonna do the thing that we-

- Okay, so can I do something?

- [Brennan] Yeah, absolutely.

- Am I talking to Thanara right now?

- This 18 foot woman turns
and looks behind her and says,

"Yeah, for sure, yeah absolutely."

- I gotta do this.
- Don't move Thanara, bitch.

Maybe she flies near her or something.

- I feel like we're
all getting in on this.

- Yeah go ahead, move your minis.

- Yeah, I was just gonna have
to scream from across the way,

be like hey, just give me
a second, I'll be there!

- So I was thinking!

- Yeah Monét, get me over there somewhere.

- When we started this.

When we started this expedition, right,

is what we'll call it, together,

we didn't really know
each other that well.

And we became really close,

and we became family, I believe.

I came in here telling you
that I was gonna ask you

to restore the dead to
life, of the Fae people,

and I still would like that to happen,

but if at all possible,

if you could help remove

Gertrude's curse as well,
(Bob gasps)

I think that would be
a really kind gesture

for the Fae people, and for my new sister.

(emotional music)

Please.

- Sorry, I just got a little
emotional in real life.

Um, she looks and says,

"What a truly selfless act."

A tear streaks from her face.

"Noble soul, your wish is granted."

(fingers snap)

- Wait, she goes, before you do!

She goes, before you do!

Before you do!

And then she takes a long
time, she has tiny little legs,

so she walks over,

she wants to get really
close to this lady.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, you see,

she actually goes, let me
go take a seat on her throne

and you can all gather
right before her throne.

- [Jujubee] Oh, awesome.
- [Brennan] We'll do 'Wizard of Oz' style.

- [Bob] Right in front of her.

- [Monét] And for whatever
reason it is, Twyla's extra

so she's just gonna hover the whole time.

(Brennan laughs)

- [Brennan] Perfect.

- [Bob] Okay she goes, "Before you do,"

'cause this is crazy,
'cause now I'm realizing

that I'm gonna get my
curse released regardless.

- [Jujubee] Right.

- And then, I'm gonna, okay.
- Okay.

- That was a great move.
- Uh-huh, uh-huh.

- Geez, that was really good.
- Come on, sister.

- You better fucking werk, okay.

I didn't know that was coming.

- I didn't either.

(all laughing)

- So, okay.

So, Gertrude is standing in
front of this giant woman,

So, Gertrude is standing in
front of this giant woman,

she is quite terrified again,

but now the shaking is
down to just her toes,

so probably nobody can probably see it.

Thanara probably has an idea,

but she's really kind
of got her headstrong,

and then she goes,

"This is all I've ever
wanted my entire life,

which has been a very long life."

And she reaches into her bag,

and then she holds the thing,

and I'm sure Thanara probably
knows what this is already.

She holds it up, and she looks at it,

and she goes, I think you
deserve the same kindness

that was offered to me,

and she just puts it in her lap,

and then she goes, "Okay
now you can do it."

- She is so moved in this moment.

This kindness shown
from Twyla to Gertrude,

and from Gertrude to her.

(emotional music)

"Freedom?

Freedom

from the service I have done this place,

and of the world, both above and below?

Gertrude?

I knew you would understand.

I saw that your heart
was big enough to feel

I saw that your heart
was big enough to feel

for even the goddess of
death, and the Underworld.

And so, when you were but a child,

the magic within you was so great,

but more than that, your heart,

so pure, so trusting, and so kind,

that I sought only to smile on you,

and give a blessing to your life,

but of course, my blessings
always are twisted.

I wished for your life to
be kept safe and protected,

but that brought with it
the curse of immortality.

but that brought with it
the curse of immortality.

You were ever on my mind,

and your gifts were given with love,

and your gifts were given with love,

but those things I give
hurt mortals to bear,

but those things I give
hurt mortals to bear,

and I wish for your sorrows,
I had not given them,

and I am sorry.

I cannot accept this."

- Oh no.

- You see, she looks at it,

and you can see so
clearly that she wants to.

She wants to so badly.

She says, "For if I leave this throne,

yes you have given me a way out,

but if I were to leave,

I am the source of power for this realm.

All the spirits who have a
home here would crumble apart,

and be left with nothing.

The stones and wastelands,

the rivers would fall apart into oblivion

if I were to leave.

There is no, there is no source of power

that could sustain this
realm, and so, I must stay.

that could sustain this
realm, and so, I must stay.

(Brennan sighs)

If it is a kind and true gift,

and if I knew of anything
within the Underworld

that had the power to
shed magic on this realm

other than me,

I would gladly leave, but
I know of no such thing."

- Wait, is there anything?

Wait, do we have anything?

- We don't have anything.

- Honestly, the only thing I can think of,

which I've already mentioned earlier,

was trying to plant this seed,

but there's no way that
it would grow down here,

but considering that there was light-

- Maybe we could ask if
you could plant it here,

and it could become the new-

- But I can open it up.

My Druidcraft.

I can open the seed.

I can open the seed.

- [Monét] And plant it down here-
- Which creates life, right?

- It creates life.

- Can we do that?
- Yes, I think so.

- I would like to do that.

- Twyla, you reach in and take out

the last seed of the All Blossom.

- Let's plant it, honey.

- "I, but there is nothing that I,

that, the power of that,
of your entire realm?

It is too great of a gift,
and I give life to nothing.

There is nowhere down
here to plant it, I,"

and you hear a soft little purr,

and you see Buddy Bear
walk over to the throne.

(Bob gasps)

- Oh my god.

- The thing you summoned
all that time ago,

walks over to the throne,

and sits, and smile, and purrs.

(Jujubee sobbing)
- I am so sorry.

- It's okay.
- I am an emotional wreck too.

- Oh my god.

- It's very beautiful.

(Jujubee crying)

It's very beautiful.

(Brennan sighs)

Magic of the Fae Realm comes to you,

and fills you with golden light.

You see Thanara step away from her throne,

and she grows down, free.

and she grows down, free.

She looks at you and smiles and says,

"I do not know what the future
of this Underworld holds,

but a throne is such an oppressive thing

but a throne is such an oppressive thing

for those that behold it,

and for those that sit upon it.

Let there be a different
heart of the Underworld."

The All Blossom glows with light,

and your playing cards
begin to shimmer with light,

as the Will O'Wisps pull them
up into the air around you,

swirling in all directions.

(Jujubee sniffles)

Does Twyla plant the seed,

and what does it look like as she does?

- Oh, she just (sniffles) she
looks around at her sisters,

- Oh, she just (sniffles) she
looks around at her sisters,

and she says, "Ladies, we did it."

And we all gather, we all pick a spot,

take the seed out.

I plant it, there's this beautiful light,

and Buddy Bear just purrs,

just this beautiful, heartwarming purr,

and we're all just calm.

(majestic music)

- Serenity, golden light.

Moments become hours,
and hours become moments.

Time fades away.

Thanara takes the mantle of her rulership,

Thanara takes the mantle of her rulership,

the curse that she must
ever watch the Underworld.

(dramatic music)

Blows it into the glass vial
that you gave her, Gertrude,

and it vanishes (gasps) and you see

her golden bracers vanish from her arms.

She looks at you, free, and says,

"I do not know what adventures await me

in the realms beyond,

but I dedicate them to
you, sweet Gertrude."

She kisses you on each cheek and says,

"That jackal owes you a hell
of a lot more than a damn rug."

(all laughing)

That's a goddess curse, okay?

That's worth a lot.

And she smiles at you all and says,

"Heroes, not just of the Underworld,

but heroes to me, sweet sisters."

And she open, and I guess
while we got it, let's use it.

- Use it, what do you mean let's use it?

- She opens a portal to realms beyond,

and she smiles at you all and waves,

and walks away from all
of the pain and sorrow

that she felt here, on
her next great adventure.

And for all of you,
you watch golden light,

And for all of you,
you watch golden light,

playing cards, and you hear the songs,

the music of the fairy realm,

and you see growing, the throne cracks

as roots and plants rip the throne apart,

and a beautiful flower
blooms and blossoms,

and suddenly, the tower
crumbles around you,

but before any rock can fall,

roots and briars tear the stones away

and you look, not at a deep, red,

crimson lightning storm cloud,

but suddenly (gasps) first one,

and then another, and
another, rays of sunlight.

The All Blossom blooms
again, and as it blooms,

charging forward,

(squeaky) Yippee!

As a little chipmunk surges forward.

- Alvin!
- Surges forward.

"Hey, we live again,
here in the Fairy Realms!

(all laughing)

Let's get a drink and let's,
I don't know, fuck around.

(all laughing)

Let's go!"

General Isadora, Martha!

And you see the tapestry
unwinds, as Queen Titania floats,

looks around, and she smiles
at you, Twyla, and says,

"Fairy Realms, new and old.

There are many here who have needed joy."

You watch, planting the All Blossom here,

and the risk you took in planting it

in this place where nothing
could grow, it does grow.

And the light spreads,
and you watch all of the,

not only fairies charging forward,

but all of the undead,

all the spirits of the
dead throughout turn,

look at the light, (gasps)
and it touches them.

You see Wallace, and his cheek grows back.

His cheek comes back, and
suddenly there's green grass,

and all of those old veins.

You see, they're not veins,
they were roots all along.

Come back, and the landscape
of barren wasteland

is given new life.

Green growing grass,
and flowers, tall trees,

and all of the spirits of the dead

are suddenly given fresh life.

The Underworld gives way to Fairie,

and the spirits of the
dead are welcomed here

in revelry and joy, for as
long as they wish to stay.

But, with a portal open,

should they choose to move on
to their next great adventure.

- [Monét] Oh, good, rest.

- I'm glad we had a portal.

(Brennan laughs)

We almost didn't get to see it.

This is crazy, girl what else
are you hiding behind there?

(Brennan laughs)

- My gosh.

(Brennan laughs)

- And with that, your fairies dancing,

and all brought together,

and you see in the boughs
of the All Blossom,

still that face of Buddy Bear,

who now lives within that All Blossom,

bringing light to all this realm.

Smile, and breathe his jasmine breath

and nuzzle against your face

in the light of this
eternal glowing flower.

(Brennan sighs)
(triumphant music)

You see, in these last
moments, all made well.

The Underworld transformed
into a home for fairy folk

that those that pass on from
the realm above may be here,

enjoy in harmony, living side by side.

And the last thing you see is,

poking out from behind a tree,

Nyruth with a gleaming green bottle going,

"Huh? This is incredible!

Oh, but you still have your curse.

You know, I've heard
that back in Kelvorda,

there's a curse-breaking talisman,

there's a curse-breaking talisman,

deep at the heart of a 17 layer dungeon,

past the Mountains of Shadow,

in the Desert of the Serpent King.

Are the four of you
doing anything right now?

- No.

- I happen to be free.

(Brennan laughs)

- Yeah, I don't have
anything 'til Saturday.

(all laughing)

- It took us two days to get here.

(all laughing)

All things considered, this
was kinda quick, actually.

- And that's all for this season

of "Dimension 20:
Dungeons and Drag Queens."

(all applauding)

A joy, an honor, a privilege,
what a story that we-

- Wild ride.

- That was so great.
- Incredible.

- For us to share, and thank you so much

all of you at home for watching.

Take care, and we'll see you next time

here at "Dimension 20," farewell!

(Jujubee chuckles)
(dramatic music)

- That was amazing, Jujubee.
- Yes!

- That was amazing, everyone.
- It was so good.

Good job, ladies.
- Brennan?

(crew cheering)
That was amazing.

- Good job, Brennan.

- Thank you so much, all of you, wow.

- It's like you've done this before.

(Brennan laughs)

You're so great.
- Oh, thank you.

(House music)

(House music continues)