Dimension 20 (2018-…): Season 15, Episode 8 - The Rule of Sneakery - full transcript

New rumors are spread. Rue investigates their own court. Hob awaits orders.

Are you wondering how healthy the food you are eating is? Check it - foodval.com
(dramatic tones resound)

(fancy instrumental music)

- To the churlish Captain K.P. Hob,

venerated soldier of the Goblin Court,

to the Master of Ceremonies
Delloso de la Rue,

pride of the Court of Wonder

to BINX Choppley, sole
survivor of the Court of Craft

to the tenebrous Prince Andhera,
scion of the Unseelie Court

and to the notorious Lords of the Wing,

Lady Chirp Featherfowl,
Countess of Cluckingham,

and Lord Squak Airavis,
Earl of Peckersburg.

Honored Archfey, we are
delighted to welcome you

to "A Court of Fey & Flowers."

(birds chirping)

Greetings, and welcome to Dimension 20's

"A Court of Fey & Flowers."

I am your dungeon master Aabria Iyengar

and with me tripping the light fantastic

are my Pack of Pixies.

Say hi, Pack of Pixies.

- [Players] Hi, Pack of Pixies.

- So in our previous
chapter, masks of every sort

were lifted in and around
the masquerade ball,

centerpiece event of the season.

Rue and Frog-BINX met with the leadership

of the Court of Seafoam,
and they spoke plainly

of their fears around the ambitions

and potential violence
of the Court of Wonder.

The Lords of the Wing,
having turned over a new beak

and returned to their old
form, attended a private salon

of Prince Apollo and
strung along the members

of an Unseelie-Wonder alliance

that sought their hands in marriage

and shared a plot to seal
away the mortal plane

to stockpile the magic flowing from it.

After a touching moment
where Andhera bore witness

to the mighty prowess
of the Court of Craft,

our fate-touched Fey attended a ball

replete with drug masks,
clandestine deals,

and horny grandfathers all-
(players laughing)

- [Lou] Get it, Grandpa, get it.

- Waddle over there, Grandpa.

- Waddle over there.
- Waddle.

(cast laughing)
- [Aabria] Gotta waddle.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's
my Grandpa right there!

That's my Grandpa right there!

- All under a sky filled with fireworks.

With our spymaster birdmaster
connecting the final dots

between Gwyndolin and
BINX, we end our summary

and begin chapter eight of our story.

So, (sighs) this, my friends,

is going to be our final rumor phase.

- Oh.
- Hm.

- We have officially hit
the peak of the Bloom,

and whatever talk is
happening, this is it.

These are the last little
bits that will go down

before we reach the end of
our tale, so think carefully.

I will remind you of the rumors
that are still on the board,

and then we'll go around
and do one last phase.

So we have a rumor that was
accelerated into a scandal

by yours truly about Squak
actively courting Prince Apollo.

- Oh.
- That's still on the board.

We have a rumor that Grabalba
is a bit of a floozy.

Got that the Court of Wonder,

we've scandalized that Rue
and the Court of Wonder

are taking way too much
credit for the Bloom

and it's now becoming a problem.

We have that "The Green Hunter,"
that highly divisive book.

- Yeah. (laughs)
- Everyone's talking.

Everyone's talking.

- Is being adapted into a movie.

- (claps) Yes! I started that rumor.

- Yes, and we have another
rumor that Prince Apollo

called off the engagement between himself

and Viscountess Grabalba for
a heartbroken Rue's sake.

Got a fine little mix around Andhera

being here at the Bloom for Grabalba

and like an establishment of ties

between the Unseelie Court
and the Goblin Court.

So with those sort of on
the board and in flux,

does anyone want to jump in,

I won't call on you in order
'cause I'm not a teacher,

with a rumor they would
like to add or accelerate?

Whoever goes first can have inspiration.

- Wow.
- Wow.

- I'm gonna say-
- Ha!

- I would like to introduce a rumor.

The Lords of the Wing being fun

might make this not the last Bloom.

(Brennan gasps)
- Ooh!

- Because the Bloom has
been so lame they're like,

"Let's just cancel the Bloom."

- We're no longer doing it.

We're not renewing it for another season.

- We thought it was magical

but it was just like, we should
probably not do this again.

- Yeah.
(cast laughing)

- Commissions went down. We don't wanna.

But now that it's fun again.
- Yeah.

- We could change venues.
- [Oscar] Yes.

- Figure it out if it's if underground.

- We're saving the Bloom.
- You're saving the Bloom.

- [Omar] That's it, yes.

- By turning lesser Fey into fish.

(players laughing)

- One fish. I can only
cast two Polymorphs a day,

but God damn it, I will.
- [Aabria] Amazing.

Well fuck it, we're gonna
go in order now, Brennan.

- There is a rumor...

that indeed the Bloom may be saved

so I'll accelerate Andhera's rumor.

- Oh.
(Omar gasps)

- There's a rumor that
indeed the Lords of the Wing

maybe saved much to the
chagrin of the Court of Wonder

because there's a rumor that...

this business of there not
being any further Blooms

was not some environmental
nebulous magical reality

but maybe an act on a court
that some are saying is greedy

for magic that rightly belongs
to more than just themselves.

- Oh shit, that's fun.

- So I'll accelerate that rumor,

and I'll add a new rumor
for the second one.

- [Aabria] Love it.
- Which is, there's a rumor

based on some interactions heard

between the Seelie Court
and the Goblin Court

who've been seen buddying up

and getting a little
bit closer to each other

that the upcoming Goblin
assault on the Seelie realms

may have been averted diplomatically,

and the troop movements

to reflect withdrawing from that border

may hasten Captain Hob's
leaving the Bloom early.

- Oh.
- Whoa.

- Okay, let me go back and Omar,

at any point did Andhera originate

or spread the rumor about
the Lords of the Wing?

- Oh, 100%.
- [Aabria] Yes.

- At the ball itself just
going around and being like,

"Thank God that they're saving the Bloom.

In fact, I think we're
gonna have a million more

if it's gonna be this
fun. (laughs gregariously)

That's what I heard."

- (laughs) Yeah, nice.
Same thing, Captain Hob.

- Captain Hob would never speak

on his own deployment to civilians,

but in terms of the Court of
Wonder and their relationship

to whether the Bloom will continue or not,

Captain Hob will merely
remark in pleasant company

that at a time where magic is dwindling,

for the most deserving of courts
such as the Court of Craft

whose work as seen in the Prince's garb

clearly have not lost any
of their skill or talent,

then the fact that magic is
receding from these lands

would seem to indicate some action.

And I wonder if one gazed around
to see who, at the moment,

keeps the most magic in these realms.

- Ooh, we love to see it. Amazing.

Emily, what you got for me?

- Okay, I think I'd like to start a rumor

that feelers have been
put out to both (chuckles)

Dev Patel and Michael B. Jordan.

(cast laughing)
(Brennan clapping)

- Those are two different vibes.

- Dev can't do it. He was
just in "The Green Knight."

He can't do "The Green Hunter."

- Well, these are the conversations

that are happening by
the producer. (laughs)

- That is so typically Hollywood.

(cast laughing)

- One is a fairy tale.

One is a psycho-procedural like,
medical thriller, you know?

They're two, they're just
in two different worlds.

- Procedural medicine?
- My favorite type of movie.

- Wait, "The Green Hunter"
is a medical thriller?

(cast laughing)
- [Lou] Yes, he's an EMT.

- This book is good, I think.
- He's an EMT!

- And a hunter.
- And a hunter.

- Sometimes working in an ambulance,

you just feel like a Green Hunter.

(cast laughing)

- Green Hunter Rises.
- And it's crazy

'cause on his ambulance the
lights, they're not red.

- [Lou And Brennan] They're green.

- [Cast Members] Oh!
- [Emily] And he's hunting-

- Did you catch that?
- Salvation of others,

but what he's really gonna
find is his own salvation.

- And this is why we had to
see Dev Patel for the role.

- His need and his want are different,

and that's what main
characters need, okay?

- That's the pitch. We're doing it now.

- This is wild.

The best part is like,
I'm gonna sit and go,

"Well, I'm gonna make this make sense."

(players laughing)

Okay, challenge accepted. Love that.

- And then I will save myself

to just scandalize someone else's rumor.

(cast laughing)

- Okay perfect, but is Chirp the one

that's kind of putting out that like,

well, I heard they're getting-

- No, not directly. No, not directly.

I think that I'm using
Flock of Familiars to,

so far I've seen Salt Goblins.

I make some Salt Goblins
there tittering about it.

The birds are tittering about it.

- [Aabria] Love it.

- Have we seen any other little creatures?

- Well automatons, little wooden
automaton ballerina things.

- Ah, some little wooden automatons.

Just a flock of them, gabbing.

- Ventriloquist dummies.
- Yeah.

- [Aabria] Oh, yes!
- The ventriloquist dummy

is doing a bit about it.
- Oh no, that's horrifying.

- Ugh.
- [Aabria] Ew, that's bad.

(laughs) No!
- Ventriloquism in the phase.

It's an interesting-
(Aabria groans)

Like, of course.
- There's for sure-

- There's ventriloquist dummies like-

- Like a guy.
- Yeah, he's everybody.

- Talking haunted dolls like,

"I hear Michael B. Jordan
might be attached!"

(cast laughing)
- You don't say, buddy.

- He really doesn't say.
Ventriloquism! (cheers excitedly)

- Boo, Lou, what you got?

- I am going to start a rumor.
- Yes, come on.

- That Prince Andhera
of the Unseelie Court

has found his match
(cast gasps)

in one incredibly regular BINX Choppley.

- I'm so regular.
- [Cast Members] Ooh!

- [Surena] I'm so regular.

- And that the two spent all

of the masquerade ball together.

- Oh!

- And I'm going to, I
will start this rumor,

but I won't say anything.

I'm gonna cast Suggestion on someone

and send them into a luncheon
and make them scream it.

(cast laughing)
- Scream it.

- Did you hear what the Vicar screamed

at the top of his lungs?

- That BINX is plain but symmetrical!

(cast laughing)

- Oh, yeah. That would
be a Cinderella vibe.

- Amazing, incredible. Oscar.

- I am gonna start a rumor...

that due to the sudden change

in the Lord of the Wings' demeanor

that they have both found
a suitable love match

and are doing so well in the wager

that their behavior reflects that.

Specifically speaking, with Squak

trying to court a certain Wannessa.

(cast gasps)
- [Cast Members] Whoa!

- What?
- [Aabria] Oh, let's go.

- Wannessa's back on the board, baby.

- Yeah, people have been
talking about, you know,

Squak and the Seafoam Court.

- Oh!
- What's going on there?

And they're putting two and five together.

- Cousin, Cousin, do you want me

to get rid of this rumor for you?

- Cousin, I'm having trouble
remembering. Who is Wannessa?

(cast laughing)
- Oh, she's the human.

You touched her face.
- Oh yes, I touched her face.

Yes, and then oh, and then my
wrist was terribly damaged.

- I thought you remember,
everyone else touched her

and I didn't do anything
because I'm married.

- Oh, yes, of course, oh!
- Yeah!

- Well, why didn't you stop me?

You could have told me that human faces

aren't meant to be touched
without permission.

- I was in hiding. Hiding in plain sight.

- You could have saved my
wrist. Well, and you hid well.

(Emily laughing)
Okay, sure.

- Amazing, did Rue originate
or propagate this rumor?

- The touching of the face
(chuckles) Rue clocked.

Told Wuvvy, but never didn't... (laughs)

But didn't spread anything,
yeah. Not directly.

- Oh my God.
- Amazing, and Surena.

- Okay, so the rumor is that Apollo,

the reason why they have chosen seemingly

to be courted by them is that they want

to actually recruit Lord Airavis
into the Court of Wonder.

- Oh, what a great-
- [Aabria] Ooh.

- Whoa!
- Oh.

- [Oscar] Mm-hmm.
- Ooh.

- I actually do actually
have one that I wanna do.

- [Aabria] Yeah.
- Just to start shit.

- Let's go.

- I think I wanna start a rumor

that Wuvvy was seen in the
private parlor of Prince Apollo.

- [Aabria] Oh!
- Oh!

- Oh!
- [Omar] Shit.

- Oh yeah.

- Actually, do you have anything to do

with spreading that rumor?

- No, again, I'm doing
it 'cause it's like,

I don't want it to come back to me.

- Sure, sure.

- 'Cause I was there
so I'll do your genius,

I cast Suggestion on the
same person to go shout it.

- The Vicar is talking!
- The Vicar?

- Someone should check on the Vicar.

He hasn't stopped screaming in days!

- For what it's worth I'm still marking

that you were the origin of this.

Just, it's not getting traced back to you.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [Aabria] Yes, absolutely.

- It's kind of like I want Rue to know,

but I don't the Court of Wonder to know

that I am indirectly letting rumors-

- [Aabria] Copy, okay, okay, okay.

- Oof.
- I love that.

As ever, the tokens
that you have collected

across this Bloom are objects
of great magic and wonder.

And you can burn them to
remove one of these rumors

from the board and from the
minds of your Fey kindred.

Do any of you wish to do so?

(light fanciful music)

- No.

- [Oscar] No, I'm set with these, yeah.

- All right, we're gonna let it ride.

- [Brennan] Yeah.
- [Surena] We're good.

- [Brennan] We'll ride
these out to the end.

- Oh yeah.
- Cool, cool.

- Ride or die. Wait one second.

- [Aabria] Mm-hmm.
(players laughing)

- Ride or die. Oh, well, actually...

- [Aabria] Actually...

- Michael B. Jordan and Dev Patel, uh...

(cast laughing)

- This is a co-lead film.

- This was always more of
a Jeremy Renner, you know?

(players laughing)
- Oh no!

- Cousin, you did not write
a Renner vehicle did you?

- I want that box office cash!
I don't want a fucking Oscar!

- Oh!
- No, we're all good.

(cast laughing)

- Letter from Grandfather,

"If you dare to cast Jeremy Renner!"

- Yeah, that's the thing
is like, fuck a love match.

I will not watch a Renner film.

- If I have to see another
Bostonian act in a major...

- Okay, then we move into the
epistolary phase once more.

I would like to kick things off

to a letter delivered to Andhera.

- Mm-hmm.
- I think this is delivered

while you're in the library
hanging out with Advisor.

And a little Salt Goblin
is gonna run up to you

and hand off a note, wait for a tip.

- [Omar] Oh, yes.
- Hand out.

- And I'll get some
crushed-up walnut shells.

(sound of crushed up
walnut shells falling)

- Rubs it under his armpits,
bows deeply, runs away.

So this is a note, like
you can see on the front,

very beautiful script in green ink

from Viscountess Grabalba.
- Oh, shit.

- "My dearest Andhera.

I have heard the rumors of your passionate

if well-hidden ardor.

The truth is that myself and Fable,

the leader of the Trickster Court

have shared a romantic evening."

- [Surena] At the ball.

- "And I truly cannot fathom a world

in which is a proposal is
not publicly made in days.

I hope that your friends,
your very good friends."

Then it's crossed out a couple
times and then just written,

"your close comrade's
marriage to the Seelie Court

will not stand in the way of
your continued camaraderie.

(bright whimsical music)

Yours as ever, but for
real don't stalk me.

My boyfriend will kill you."
(players laughing)

- Oh my God.
- "Viscountess Grabalba,

soon to be consort of the Fable
of the Court of Trickery."

- I think I fell in love
with her when she said,

"My boyfriend will kill you."
(cast laughing)

(Emily continues laughing)

- I write a letter back.
"Your majestic nastiness."

- Oh!

- "Absolutely, absolutely,
absolutely!" Exclamation point.

"I couldn't be more delighted for you.

This sounds to be a
most excellent marriage

in every sense of the
word, and I know that

were I to intervene, death
would be the kindest mercy

that that court would allow me.

I wish you the happiest of existences.

And if you are to find yourself

anywhere near the Unseelie Court,

please do not make yourself a stranger.

I have included some
preemptive marriage gifts."

And it's just old newspapers and stuff

(Brennan laughing)

that were used to sop up a puddle.

- Amazing. You don't receive a reply.

- That's good.
(players laughing)

- Can I knock one out because it's insane?

(cast laughing)
Just real quick.

- Yes!
- Okay. (chuckles)

- Oh no.
- Oh my God.

I feel so happy now.

- (chuckles) Okay.
(cast chuckling)

"Dearest Dev Patel,
(cast laughing)

and Michael B. Jordan.
(cast laughing)

We deeply appreciate your consideration

for the following role.

Sides are attached.
(cast laughing)

Dr. Green Hunter."
- Dr. Green Hunter?

- [Surena] Dr. Green Hunter. (laughs)

- You already have a
pseudonym. It's Airry Pearry!

- No, that's the role.
- Oh, it's doctor.

- He's a doctor.
- It's like an audition.

- He didn't play as the character.

- Do you think doctors, it's
a doctor in an ambulance.

- "Dr. Green, we are seeking-
- (laughs) Emily.

- "We are seeking your read
for the following role,

Dr. Green Hunter, 35, musky."

- Musky?
- Oh my God, is he musky?

- "A flask of genuine
Scotch heavy in his pocket,

seems moments away from a divorce.

(cast laughing)
(Omar clapping)

Interior, ambulance.
(cast laughing)

The ambulance shakes
rockily, the sirens blaring

headed from the scene of an accident.

Green Hunter, 'I'm so tired.'
(cast laughing)

Patient, 'You're talking about
tired? I'm dying over here!'

(cast laughing)

Green Hunter, 'Keep your
hand on your wound, man.'

The Green Hunter looks over to his bow.

It hangs next to his stetho-cope, his-

- No, you misspelled stethoscope!

(cast laughing)

- "It hangs next to his stetho-cope.

Green Hunter, 'Who will I be today?'

Please send back by the end of the week.

(cast laughing)

Yours in casting, Airry Pearry."

- The sides were two lines?
(cast clapping)

- Honestly, this sucks
and I hate to say it,

Renner's right for the part.

I mean, ultimately the problem

is that Renner's actually
the right guy for the part.

- It's Renner!
- Okay actually you know what?

I have a letter.
(cast laughing)

And I'm gonna go out of my way.

First I'm gonna send a letter
to Jeremy Renner's agent

and then mimic their writing and say,

"Dearest Jeremy Renner,

you need to take a
couple years off, my man.

You're in too much!

Sincerely, whatever your agent's name is."

(cast laughing)

- [Aabria] Oh, oh, oh!

- Oh, man.
- Oh, man.

- Why? (laughs) Oh my
God, that gave me asthma.

- You're tired? I'm the one who's dying!

- I'm the one who's dying!
(cast laughing)

- Can I audition for the patient?

- [Emily] Oh my good God.
- Of course.

- Okay, great.
- You're cast.

- Oh, yes!

- I need a nap after that one.

- That was very good. Holy shit.

- I pull out a piece of
parchment and I turn to Advisor

and I say,

"Advisor, I wish to speak with my mother,

but I haven't quite put
the words together yet

so I'm gonna do that.

In the meantime," and
I take quill to paper.

"Dear Airry Pearry."

- Yes!

- "I hope this letter finds you well.

I thought your book was fantastic, truly.

There has been a scathing
review going around, though."

- That's right.
- It's just the one.

- Panned.
- Panned.

- Universally panned.
(cast laughing)

- "I don't normally do
this, but as I think

we're all about to get busy soon,

if there's anything you want
me to do on your behalf,

you have an eternal
friend and an eternal fan,

and I'm happy to speak
with," and I start to write L

like lord and cross it out.

"One of your greatest enemies

who is spreading such biting
words here at the Bloom.

I take this very seriously.

Love, Andhera."
- (laughs) Love.

- And will send that off.
- Amazing.

- Cousin, I'm gonna go check the P.O. box.

(cast laughing)

- Yes, for more
traditional mail, you know,

that doesn't involve courtly things.

- Oh Cousin, there's a letter!
- The Pixie Office Box, yes.

- Yeah, the Pixie Office Box.

It's in a basement, I think, yes.

- Cousin, there's a letter for you.

- Airry Pearry?
(cast laughing)

It's from Pillar Boy!

I think he wants to fight me

because of the scathing review

I wrote for myself of my own book.

- Cousin, should you duel yourself?

- Oh, now that would be delightful.

No, but I think I'll just, I'll write back

to what I write back to all the fans.

"Thanks for reading, bro
(cast laughing)

Never forget to keep your
bow near your stetho-cope."

(cast laughing)

- Never forget to keep your
bow near your stetho-cope.

- "Hey, make sure to keep
your hand on your wound."

- Amazing.
- Oh, man.

- Yeah.
- I'll write a letter to BINX

for delivery by the swiftest
Salt Goblin we have.

And it will say, "We owe Buddy a visit.

Same time as last time.
No seconds needed."

- Oh!

- We owe what?
- Buddy.

- We owe Buddy a visit.
- You know who I am.

(Aabria groans in disgust)

- So-

- It's just an exhausted Salt Goblin.

- Oh hey there, hey. Do
you want like, water?

There's a leaf with like, a dew on it.

- Smacks it out of your hand.

- Okay, I snatch the
letter from him. I read it.

And I, did you say, what did you say?

It's like the same people or?

- So it was not signed.
- [Surena] Yes, it says-

- It just said, "We owe Buddy a visit.

Same time as last time.
No seconds needed."

- Got it, got it, got it, got it, got it.

I fold the paper and would
wait until the proper nighttime

to go to the tailor's.

- Sweet, amazing.

And Ustain Bolt, 'cause I
came up with a dumb pun,

sprints away, sweet.
(players laughing)

- To live for another five hours.

(cast laughing)

- Five hours and I've gotta sprint it out.

- Question.
- [Aabria] Yes.

- When we left the last episode,

we are starting this not the
same day but the next day.

- It's like the next day.
- Perfect, great.

So you receive a letter.
- Uh-huh.

- And it says, "Dear Lady Featherfowl.

I apologize for my overly blunt response

into being thrust into the spotlight

with my intentions at the Bloom.

Also, my sheer panic when you asked

if I was calling in the favor

and for the fog cloud and magic missile

I then deployed as I fled."

- Oh honey, I would have
Counterspelled them.

- It was two! (laughs)

- Yes, my Cousin woulda got the other.

- I'm never far.
- I was joking anyway.

- I was like, poof,
goodbye! "So I do apologize.

I would love, though, to talk to you

in a more private place
in a less stressed?"

Cross it out, "public"
underlined three times "place.

Whether I come to have tea with you

or you visit me under the radiator,

it's completely up to you."
- [Emily] Hmm.

- "May you find lost things, BINX."

- I think when I receive it I'll say,

"Cousin, I think I'm
gonna go to a radiator."

- Oh...
(cast laughing)

- What should I wear to a radiator?

- Something dusty perhaps.

I mean, definitely
something you don't mind

getting it a little dirty.
- Okay.

I take a bath towel and
put it around myself

and go to the radiator.
- Have fun.

- So as you walk down into the radiator,

it's just like, in the
very back of the castle.

So it's sort of like horror
movie with flickering lights

as you're approaching this heat radiator.

- Mm, how ambient.

- And I'm gonna be clear.

This is anachronistic intentionally.

Like, we are living in like

a sort of Medieval high-fantasy world

and then there's just
this interesting shift

that feels a little out of time

which is strange to note
but not uncomfortable

because you all live and exist in a plane

and a world that's sort of disentangled

from the mundanities of linear time.

- I guess I knock on the radiator.

(clears throat) Hello!
(knocking resounds)

- Oh, hello, hi.
- [Emily] Hi.

- I pop up out, hello.
- [Emily] Hi.

- Thank you so much for coming.
I wasn't sure if you would.

- Oh, of course. I love
to make new friends.

And I'm very hospitable.
- [Surena] You are hospitable.

- Is the word that I started.
- You started that?

- Yes, doesn't one always
curate one's reputation?

- That's so smart. I never
even thought about doing that.

You're a genius.

Quite honestly, you might be

the smartest person at the Bloom.

I don't want to say that,
like, to just say it,

but like, that's incredible, your mind.

- Thank you, you know,
it's not really something

I ever really think about
that much, yeah, well-

- [Surena] But come in, come in, come in!

- Yes, yes, absolutely.
- And so you come in

to what looks like an
antique museum full of many-

- (gasps) Is this an estate
sale? (cheers and claps)

- It's my collection.

It's all from the mortal
realm, most of it.

Some of it's from Avernus and
other places, other planes.

- Yes, yes, I suppose maybe we should talk

about what I did not know previously

that you were Lady
Gwyndolin and BINX in one.

And obviously during our conversation

when you were Gwyndolin I may
have overshared something.

But now, you BINX, knows that.

And then you threw up a fog
cloud and a magic missile.

- I did.
- During fireworks

so it was very confusing.
(Omar laughs)

- It was-

- Visually I was overstimulated.

(Aabria laughs)

- I just, uh, it was a lot, you know?

The entire ball was a lot.
- Yeah.

- But there's something about you

that is so interesting to me,

and as soon as you said
a place that I recognized

I was like, "That's it."

And I think that once you, any
Fey goes to the mortal realm

we are like, changed, forever changed.

And I felt that in you. I
felt that you were different.

- Yes, I would certainly
say that the mortal plane

can have its own bewitching effect.

I would say that the
bewitching-ness goes both ways.

When the mortal plane comes here,

they find themselves fascinated,

and when we go there we find
they have their own magic.

- Yes, I'm gonna get very straightforward

with you right now.
- Yeah, bring it on.

- If you visit the mortal realm,

if that's something that you frequent,

I've been working with Gwyndolin.

Gwyndolin is a real person. I
don't know if you knew that.

She's not dead. She didn't die.

I didn't murder her.
- Okay, so when you...

Okay, now you just gave
me a bunch of specifics

and I feel like you did.
- She's not dead.

She's definitely fine.
- [Emily] Okay.

- Ooh, you gotta, insight, insight.

- Okay, insight.

That's a four.
- Four.

Against your persuasion or
deception, I don't know which.

- [Surena] Persuasion!
- Did you kill her?

- She's fine. (laughs)

- Seven, so that's seven total.

- 14 plus, you know, 24.

- You feel overly
comforted that she's alive.

- Ah, oh, good. Thank you
so much for spelling it out.

All the permutations in
which she could be harmed

and the fact that you
haven't done them to her.

- Of course.

- I do appreciate that
sort of thoroughness.

- Well, I feel like if you
say something like that,

like as specific as possible
it must mean it's true.

- It's like how me and Cousin
keep being like, "Grandfather"

and everyone thinks that means he's dead.

- Right, he's not dead.
He's just in the sky, right?

- He's not. He's just in the sky.

Except right now I believe

he spent the night somewhere else but...

- Oh, oh.
- Yeah.

But I'm sorry, back to
what you were saying.

- Right, right, right, sorry. Yes.

I've been working with Gwyndolin.

Gwyndolin also frequents the mortal plane.

And portals have been closing.

And when a portal closes
it's unpredictable

when one will open again
and where it will open.

- [Emily] Hm.

- The only reason I was
able to get around it,

it was because I found a loophole.

And that helps me kind of gain
magic from the mortal realm

as well as bring my magic to it.

- Okay, so both of us
have a vested interest

in keeping passage to
the material plane open.

Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm.

I guess can I do some kind of...

What the fuck would I do to even...

I think, you know what?

You've given me information
that if you were

to try to cross me, I
now have something on you

so I will just tell you
exactly what I know.

I don't know the details of
how they're doing it yet,

but the closing of portals, I believe,

is the work of the Unseelie Court.

- Oh.

- My cousin and I recently
came into such information

and have been... (clears throat)

I've been stringing along Suntar.

- Oh.
- For a political alliance.

At first I thought, "Okay,
maybe this is great.

She offered me a loveless
political marriage.

Great, that's honestly what
I'm here for. Uh, but I..."

Once I learned their intentions,

I've decided to maintain
the relationship in order

to learn precisely how the
Unseelie Court is doing this

so that it may be undone.

So if you are concerned about
the closing of the portals,

I share your concern and
I have every intention

of finding out exactly what
the Unseelie Court is up to.

So if you would like to
be of help in that...

- And like, friends and stuff? Yeah-

- You've already, I was
gonna call you Gwyndolin.

BINX, you've already been over for tea.

- That's true!
- [Emily] Yes.

- Yes, okay.
- (laughs) So yes.

We are absolutely.
- [Surena] All right.

- Yeah, so I mean, if you
would like to be involved,

you seem to be spectacularly
deceptive and slippery.

I would imagine that you
would make a very good ally

in such information seeking.

- Yes, you know, to be completely candid,

I wasn't sure about the Unseelie Court.

I heard maybe that was something,

but Andhera seems like he wouldn't

have anything to do that
that, but what if he's lying?

What if that's not true?
- Oh, oh BINX.

I didn't mean to try to complicate

your relationship or anything.
- No, no, I'm just,

I'm just thinking out loud, yeah.

- I learned it from
Suntar and Prince Apollo.

- Oh, oh.
- [Emily] Yes.

- Prince Apollo. He's a dirtbag, right?

(Aabria snickers)

- Yeah, I just really can't
get a read on him, right?

- Yeah, I just like, when I
look at him I'm just like,

I don't know what your deal is,

but I don't like it, yeah.
- Yes, yeah.

But he's really forthcoming.

- [Surena] Right, like, he's
never said anything bad.

- I think I like him more than
Suntar, if I'm being honest.

- Really? I've never had a
conversation with Suntar before.

- Yeah, this was my first one.
- [Surena] Oh, not a fan?

- This was my first one and it was, well,

we entered potentially a
political loveless marriage.

(players laughing)
- Oh, oh my God, yeah.

- [Emily] Yeah, I know.
Big, big, very big.

- Yeah.
- So yes, so I mean,

my plan is to maybe just speak with her

and see if she'll be forthcoming with me.

- [Surena] Great.

- Feign like I love her idea.
- Ooh.

- And see if she wants the
help of the Lords of the Wing

in her endeavor and thereby kind of learn

what the nature of their
closing the portals is.

- Love that. How do you lie
without becoming sleepy?

(Aabria chuckles)
- [Emily] Oh...

- Like, lie, like, straight lie

without becoming incredibly drowsy.

How do you do that?

- So I'm the Countess of Cluckingham,

and the people of Cluckingham, espionage,

intelligence-gathering, it's our shit.

I think I've been lying
since I was a child,

which I guess everyone
goes through a lying phase

when they're a child, but
we never get out of it.

- Got it.
- [Emily] Yeah.

- Yeah, I can't actually
lie without passing out.

- Passing out?

- [Surena] Yeah well, it depends
on the severity of the lie.

If it's like a small one
I just get a little tired.

- So just physically taking on
a different form you can do?

- Well, when I'm Gwyndolin, I'm Gwyndolin.

- Oh, okay. Oh, method actor, love it.

(cast laughing)

- You know, there's a movie coming out...

- Really? (laughs)

- Hey, will you read these sides?

- Yeah.
(cast laughing)

- It's only two lines.

- I'm looking for an ambulance.

- I'm looking for an ambulance!

- Pretend like you have a wound
that you just won't cover.

- Yes, and a flask of genuine Scotch

that's heavy in your pocket.

(Aabria and Emily laughing)

- But I um, consider me an ally in this.

- Yes, absolutely.
- Yeah.

We'll figure it out and
I'll tell you what I know.

And we can make sure
that we can have access

to the place that we care so deeply about.

- You seem to really, really care

about the material plane and its people.

- I do.
- I find it very interesting

because when it comes to
humans, how do I put this?

(cozy music)

Don't mistake their innocence of means

for an innocence of heart.

- Oh yeah, some humans are trash, right?

- [Emily] Yeah, yeah.
- Like, so terrible.

- I just wanted to make
sure if you really wanted

to give magic to everyone that
like, there are some people

it can be a really corrupting force for.

- Yeah, I just...

It's not even that I want to
give magic to everyone there.

It's more of, everyone should
have the potential of magic.

And I think that everyone should
have access to what we have

should they want it, should they earn it.

And I'm honestly afraid
the fate of all of us

if all portals to the
mortal plane are closed.

I don't know what the
consequences will be.

I just know that when we get stuck...

Oh, I should tell you this. Side note.

If you get trapped in the mortal plane,

like, if you can't find your
way back you turn into stuff.

- What?

- So it depends on where you, you know,

reside the longest.

And it has to be for a long time,

but the last weaver of
the Court of Wonder,

he turned into a tree.

A very nice tree.

My sister is now a haunted house.

- Okay, that's sick.

- That's terrible.
- Okay, I meant that's-

- I mean, it's sick, sick good.

I mean like, she gets to haunt stuff.

Like, she's, you know.
- Yeah.

- Still doing stuff, but you know,

you just become a sacred
place or sacred object.

But you lose your connection to here so...

- Interesting. Well, you've
given me much to think about.

And I will be in touch

whenever I plan a bike date with Suntar.

- Ooh, are you guys gonna ride a bike?

- I don't know. I haven't
floated the idea yet, yeah.

- Okay, let me know how...

What's your deal with your
brother, I mean, your cousin?

- [Emily] What's the deal with him?

- Yeah.
- He's the best.

He's the greatest..
- [Surena] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- He's the coolest. He's the hippest.

Being around him is like being in a shower

that's the perfect temperature.

- Mm.
- Aw, I love that.

- Yeah, and he's also
an absolute scoundrel.

I love watching it.
- Right?

Like, he just like, does what he wants.

- [Emily] Yeah, he's great, yeah.

- Cool, awesome, all right.
- All right.

Well yes, I will be in touch with you

whenever I have my tandem bike ride.

- Thank you.

And I'm gonna give them

the one item I found in Hanivan

is a brooch and it's a beetle brooch.

And I give this to you. Here you go.

- Do I recognize it at all?
- Give me a history check.

(die taps table)

(Brennan gasps)

- 25.

- Where did you get the brooch from?

- In Hanivan there is,
Hanivan's a smaller place,

and there is sort of a...

A tinkerer, sort of like
a jewelry maker who,

it's sort of like a
generational jewelry maker.

Their parents, their
family have been making

this fine artisan jewelry
for a very long time.

And it is just,

it might have fallen behind a counter.

It might have been
misplaced in a move, yeah.

- (sighs) I think I
look at this and I say,

"Ah, a wonderful work from Mrs. Haversham.

I will add it to my collection."

And you see I have an
invisible wedding ring

that was from the same jeweler.

(players gasp)
- Yes!

- Thank you. And I leave.

- Amazing.

- Do we both have invisible wedding rings?

- Yeah, I guess we do.
- Ooh.

- That's rad as shit.

I've got another letter

as we hop back into our epistolary phase.

And this one is from Blemish
and Boil and it's for Hob.

You all stay in the same area

and yet you woke up the next morning

with this sort of like, near you.

It's on fine vellum, the good paper

and tucked kind of under your shoulder

wherever you found your rest.

(Brennan clears throat)
(paper crinkling)

"Our efforts have born glorious fruit.

Thanks to you, the Goblin
Court's prospects are renewed.

A deal has been brokered between ourselves

and the Seelie Court united in concern

with the Court of Wonders overstepping

and the murmurings of an alliance

between Wonder and Unseelie.

We are throwing our lot in with the Seelie

and formally joining our people via union

between Lady Sylmenar and yourself.

(tender piano music)

A match of this quality is a rare thing,

and to that end we need
you to make efforts

to be seen out and about with the Lady.

Your time flitting around
the Bloom is at an end.

Do your duty and help us
seal his deal, Major Hob."

(Brennan sighs softly)
(tender instrumental music)

(Brennan inhales and exhales roughly)

(Brennan sighs dejectedly)

- Um...

(tender piano music continues)

I fold this letter neatly and stow it

amongst my maps and orders and reports.

I have never desired to eat a letter less.

(tender piano music continues)

I will stand up, don my uniform

and immediately go and make a report

to the Lord Blemish and Lady Boil.

- I'm sorry, but before you leave.

- [Brennan] Mm-hmm.
- You notice

that there's an envelope.
- Oh!

- Right outside of the
Pagoda that Wuvvy has left

in the dead of night and it
says, "Captain" on the envelope.

- Hold on.

She didn't deliver it.
(players gasp)

- Oh my God!
- Oh, what, what what?

(players shouting)
- Wuvvy's dead.

- Oh, what? (laughs)
- Okay, okay.

- Wuvvy, I will see you in 40 years

when my wife has died.
(players laughing)

- Wuvvy did it, okay.
- [Aabria] Yeah.

- Okay, the letter got
to Captain Hob by Rue.

- Or are you saying that-
- I'm letting you know

that you handed off the letter to Wuvvy.

You said, "Deliver this to Captain Hob."

- [Oscar] Yeah.
- She went, "Okay."

- [Emily] Oh...
(players gasp)

- And the letter never got there.

- [Oscar] So there is no letter.

Oh, I see.
- Oh, Wuvvy.

- [Emily] Can we still hear it
though? Can we still hear it?

- Can I still say what the letter is?

- [Aabria] Yes, of course,
of course. Please do.

- Okay, okay, okay.
- Oh!

- Oof, ooh, okay. (clears
throat) "Captain Hob."

- Maybe he should plug his ears

'cause he didn't get to hear it.

He doesn't read it.
- [Aabria] Oh, yeah.

- I'm just kidding.
- Yeah, leave.

- Maybe we make Brennan leave!

- They make you leave.
- Leave the Dome!

- I will if you need me to,

but someone better fucking record it

so I can watch it later.
(cast laughing)

- Uh, (clears throat) "Captain Hob."

- Ooh, camera-wise, Wuvvy
is reading this letter.

- [Oscar] Okay.
- [Surena] Oh.

- And that's how we all hear it.

- "My feet are still gliding

from dancing with you
last night at the ball.

(tender piano music)

I am feeling overjoyed,
incredibly grateful,

and absolutely lucky to have
you by my side that night.

That experience was unlike
anything I've ever experienced.

To share a moment with you,

absolutely magical.

And I must admit, my feet still hurt

from when you stepped on them

as I was teaching you how
to do the Electric Slide."

(Brennan laughing)

- (laughs) So that was
what your dance was?

- Mm-hmm.
(cast laughing)

So listen, everyone doing, listen...

- Such a sexual dance.
- Oh my God, that's amazing.

- "And in those moments

where I saw you look down
at your feet frustrated

that you couldn't get
something perfect right away,

I realized, this is the person I love.

Those quiet moments,

those moments of your genuine
curiosity peeking through,

the kind way that you held me,

you asking me if I was all right

and if I needed anything at all.

(tender piano music)

I want to have more
moments like that with you.

I want to know you, Captain.

I want to know you like
no one else knows you.

I want to be the only one to
know that you, I don't know,

dance when you're by yourself

or mutter to yourself
as you're making food.

I cherish the new delights

that I will know about you.

And for now, the only thing
that will keep me going

is four words that you have
given me so graciously.

Captain Knickolas."

And what's the name,
what's the P stand for?

'Cause I read your card so I
would know what your name is.

- Um, uh...

- This is the best moment of my life.

(Aabria laughs)

- This is it right here.
- Here it is.

- [Brennan] Under the fireworks.

- Pterodactyl.
(fireworks explosions resound)

- In a burst of orange the
night before on our dance,

our fourth or fifth or
sixth dance of the night

is 'cause I had eaten my card

so that no one else could ask me to dance,

I whispered in your ear in a slow waltz

when you asked or when
you looked at the card

'cause it was hard to make out.

"The P (inhales sharply) in K. P.

stands for Pnackolas."

(cast laughing)
- No!

- [Surena] Pnackolas!

- Knickolas Pnackolas.
You leave right now.

- Yes!
- So long.

That's been Dimension 20 for me, folks.

- Knickolas Pnackolas, okay.
- Knickolas Pnackolas.

- Knickolas Pnackolas Hob.
- These four words.

(cast laughing)

- How about it? How about it?

- Hey, love will make
you say some crazy names.

Do crazy things.

- Like date a man named
Knickolas Pnackolas.

(cast laughing)
- But what's in a name?

- A lot, a lot. A lot when it's Pnackolas.

- Yeah, "Captain Knickolas Pnackolas Hob.

Yours forever and always,
Delloso de la Rue."

- What a beautiful letter.

- And that, mm, okay.
- Ooh, ooh.

- It was ripped up.
- No!

- Can I also, and quick, as
I'm giving you that letter

I also give you a letter to send

to the Chorus of the Court
of Wonder and it's simple.

It just says, "I think
a meeting between us

needs to take place.
(players gasp)

You set the time and location."

- And Wuvvy, as a servant
of the Court of Wonder

receives the note and just
sort of blows gently on it.

(wind bursts)

And it dissolves into glitter.

And she gives it a little (blows
softly) as it's sent away.

And give me an insight check

while she's holding the other letter.

- Almost a nat 20, but it's...

- But it was not.
- That's a 12.

(die taps table)

- (whispering) She had
to get a natural 20.

All you notice while Wuvvy
kind of stands by you

and is awaiting a response
from the Chorus is,

as she's holding your letter to Hob

in her left hand,

her nail presses just a
little too hard into it

and you see that first
little bit of a bent into it

as she's kind of holding
it a little too tight.

But then before you can focus on it,

(chiming resounds)

glitter rushes into her hand
mounding gently in her palm

as she blows on it again and
it reforms into a letter.

A response from the Chorus that says,

"At your earliest convenience
at the top of the tower.

We have much to discuss,
and it is all good news."

- Good news. I wasn't expecting good news.

- Mm.

- [Oscar] Uh...

- Yes, you want me to deliver this.

- Yes, but before you do,

the ball, did you think it was a success?

- I do, I do.

I think it was exactly...

I know it's a little different
than what you planned,

but I think it was good.

I had a good time.

- Do you have a good time at these events?

Or do you just do the
things that need to be done?

- I don't know if I know
the difference all the time.

- Well, let me ask you this.

Do you find joy in running around

and doing errands for other people?

- Not everyone, but for you, yes.

- Wuvvy, I have one errand to ask of you.

- [Aabria] Hm.

- For the event tomorrow or
whatever happens tomorrow,

I want you to trust the smaller Fey

that they will do the job
that you appointed them.

I don't want you to run around.

I don't want you to do any of the tasks.

And I just want you to exist in the space.

- Why?

- Well, because a good friend of mine,

Lady Featherfowl gave
me some great advice.

She told me that I should just exist

and be present in the moment,

and I allowed that to happen at the ball

and it was one of the most
magical experiences I've ever had

and I'm afraid that you are bound

by obligation and not love.

(soft instrumental music)

- For me, I think

the thing I love and that
which I have a duty toward

are very much one and the same.

And I've noticed that I think

that's not necessarily true for you.

That's okay.

If you tell me to step
back from the next event,

I will do it, but I won't enjoy it.

I like helping you create,

execute on your vision.

It pleases me greatly to be of use to you.

And maybe that's not true
forever, but it's true right now.

All I want is what's...

I'm sorry, were you saying something?

- No, and I think I'm starting to realize

that there's a rift, a big divide

between Wuvvy and myself

in terms of our goals and what we want.

(Oscar sighs)
(soft instrumental music)


You know that there are
no secrets between us.

And I must confess
something to you, Wuvvy.

Something unexpected, something that I

would have never expected
to happening in a millennia,

but something has taken precedent

over doing my obligations in the Bloom.

And if things go

how I envision them to go and

I were to be successful in this,

(soft instrumental music continues)

I don't think I can continue
running the Bloom any longer.

(players gasp softly)

- I understand.

(soft instrumental music continues)

You know I love you, right?
- And I love you.

- And I only want what's
best for you. You should go.

- Yes, yes, there's
much to do, isn't there?

- Yeah, I'll take care of things.

- You always do, Wuvvy.

- I always do.

And her hand sort of trailing

across your well-appointed
room moves across a desk

and alights very quickly on a vase

where she's sort of cut
and arranged a assortment

of the black and white peonies

that you both wore last night

into a little cascade in a narrow vase.

And her nail just taps on it.

It makes a little ring on the glass

and she walks out of the room.

We'll come back to that scene.

Does anyone else have a
letter they want to send?

- I actually do. Cousin, I'm
going to write to Suntar.

- Oh, I was going to
write to Prince Apollo.

- Really?
- [Lou] Yes.

- Well, maybe our
intentions were the same.

- Oh, likely.

- I was basically gonna
say to Suntar like,

we should meet up 'cause
maybe the Lords of the Wing

could help with the closing of the portals

to try and find out,
what is their methodology

for closing of the portals

so that we know what we're dealing with.

- Oh, that sounds great.

I was just gonna send a
kinda thirsty, nasty letter,

kinda my general.
- [Emily] Yes.

- [Lou] You know how I do
like kind of a Mad Libs thing.

- Yeah, yeah.

- [Lou] Where all my letters are the same

and I just fill in different specifics.

- [Emily] Yeah.

- [Lou] So it's gonna be one
of those for Prince Apollo.

- Yeah, but not for
Theodore. Not for the other-

- Well, Theodore got a specific one

'cause we were kind of getting the setup,

and I think after, you know,

he'll probably get one
of these down the line.

But no, this one is very similar

to the one I sent to Baroness Alven,

just with quick plug and play.

- Ooh.
- [Lou] Yeah.

- Okay, you go first then.
- [Lou] Oh.

- That's delicious.

- No, but I think we are
in the same mind, though.

I just wanna keep 'em
on the hook, you know?

- Yeah, so I kinda wanted to
meet up with Suntar and...

Here, I'll just read what
I was going to say to her.

- Yes, go ahead.
(Emily clears throat)

- "Suntar, Grandfather much approves

of our potential betrothal.

He has inquired into
some of the revelations

Prince Apollo divulged
over brandy and cigars

and whether the Lords of the Wing

could aid in their execution.

Meet me in the place where
the beat doesn't reach

so that we might further discuss.

K.I.T. Lady Chirp Featherfowl."

- Oh, delightful.
- Yes.

- Meet me in the place where
the beat doesn't reach.

- Do you wanna come?

- Yeah, or should we
make it a foursome-thing?

Or do we just double team?
Not double team like that.

- Yeah, I know-
(cast laughing)

That's a gross, gross idea-
- I know, I know.

Well, it's not gross.
- I know what you mean.

I mean it's not, but yeah.
- It's not bad we would...

Anyway, um, uh...
(cast laughing)

But is it a more powerful thing

if we both happen to be there

or do we make it a foursome?
- I mean, I'm trying

to make it seem like the Lords of the Wing

are maybe in on this, right?
- Oh, I love that.

Okay again, let's both go, yes.

- And so it feels like it
makes sense, okay, yeah, yeah.

So I send that off.

And I summon some real, like,
nasty vultures and ravens

for Suntar 'cause that
feels like her vibe.

- Yeah, it's her whole vibe.

What you receive in response

will require a wisdom saving throw.

- Do we, any preparation or
knowledge that this would be-

- Nat 20, baby.
- [Aabria] No.

(players cheering)
Love this.

- You were saying? You were saying?

- [Aabria] What, what?

- [Lou] Why would I ever worry?

- Why would you ever worry?
- [Lou] About my cousin.

- [Surena] Yes, yes.
(cast laughing)

- Intelligence is my thing,
but I'm also pretty wise.

- Hey, so you feel
suddenly very faint and-

- Cousin, the couch, the couch!

- Flamingo, no, flamingos, go, go, go!

- The flamingos run over the peacocks

to push the fainting couch.
(players laughing)

But instead of swooning
and committing to that

you kind of steel yourself
on a piece of furniture.

- Ah.
- And ride through it

as a vision comes, swirling darkness

in a place that already is
utterly bereft of light.

And like a vapor moving through,

that feels like you are
both seeing this place

and in it and yourself in this moment

watching it happen behind your eyes.

And the thing that you feel in this place,

and hate to make a bird pun,

but you do get goosebumps
as you're standing there.

- Ah, at least it's not goose teeth.

(cast laughing)

- As this dark, like, jet
of air swirls around you

and curls up and you hear
a little hiss in your ear,

but the ear that's inside of
the vision that says, "Yes."

(dreamy music)

- All that for a yes?
- Yeah.

I will offer with this natural 20

that that was very clearly a show,

like Suntar's trying to show
the strength of her power.

- Oh.
- And her like, readiness

and willingness and ability
to inherit her mother's gifts.

- [Emily] Okay, she's-
- [Aabria] This was like a,

just a flex to prove value.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, I think I flexed back. (laughs)

- Yeah, 100%.
- Cool.

So I guess maybe, Cousin,
I actually don't know

where the beat doesn't reach.

(cast laughing)

- Well, I think you just gotta-

- Let's get a boombox going.
- Yes, exactly.

I'll hold it over my head

and you stand in different dark corners

and tell me if you can hear it there.

Can you hear it there?
- I can hear it, yeah.

- Okay what about, can you hear me now?

- Oh my God!
- Still encroaching.

- Oh goddamn, can you hear me now?

- Oh, let me try this corner.

Oh, I found it, I found it!

- Oh, fantastic, smash!
(cast laughing)

- Do we have any more letters?

- Just one.
(Aabria laughs)

This one goes just as we're headed

out the door to meet Suntar.

"My dearest Prince Apollo.

Last night still was heavy in my thoughts.

It was an honor to be by your side

as we did the Harlem Shake together.

(cast laughing)

And as these days grow long,

my mind drifts to when we are together,

and my heart pines for you so.

As these days of the Bloom grow long."

I look at it, go, "Ah fuck it. It'll do."

"I yearn for the day

at which point our love will become known.

Like the ever-present passing of days,

my desire and affection
for you continues to rise

undeterred by any obstacles

and aligned with the
foundations of the cosmos.

You've clipped the wings of my heart."

(cast laughing)

- No!

- [Aabria] Yes.

- "And it rests eternally
in your care, Squak."

(Aabria groans)

- Cut and paste, honey.
(cast laughing)

And paste.

- And I send this with
just a shit-ton of doves.

Just a shit-ton of doves that are all,

they themselves are in
love and they carry this.

- Ooh!

- The doves are in love is a part of it.

- And they carry this to Prince Apollo

in full view of all.
- Ooh.

- If you are sending this
off as you're leaving

to go meet then you don't
really worry about a response

and no quick one returns to you.

The last I will say of
this phase is that BINX,

you've received probably
a good half dozen of notes

that could best be described
as notes of inquiry.

- [Surena] Mm, mm-hmm.
- From middle peerage

of some powerful courts.

Seafoam, Stone, Deepwater and Seelie

inquiring about your desire to marry

and begin to bolster your court.

- [Surena] Mm-hmm.

- By having someone leave
theirs to join yours

instead of the other way around.

So they're all kind of deeply impersonal

and they're just sort of like...

- [Surena] Mm-hmm, yeah.

Well, just like, we're feeling out.

- Just feeling, yeah, exactly.
- Yeah.

This very much stresses BINX out.

Like, it's all of these
people who she doesn't know

are acting kind of like
they're her friend.

- [Aabria] Yes.
- Right?

And she's just like, "Oh,
this is so much pressure.

And it's weird and it's like,

you don't mean anything
that you're saying."

So I take the stack of
letters. I have them.

I'm wrapping them up and I'm
just storing them for now.

- [Aabria] Amazing.
- Yeah.

- Okay, let's start with
Rue and the Court of Wonder.

- Hmm.
- Hmm.

- Hmm.
- Oh.

- All right, here we go!
- You're in trouble.

- Well, they said it was
good. It was for good, right?

- [Emily] Oh, right.
- That's what they said.

It was good!
(Aabria laughs)

Right, Lou?
- Well, we're gonna see.

You might be in trouble.
- Ooh!

- You walk upstairs and
even as you approach

the top of this tower,
the door opens before you.

And you see a very plainly-appointed room

sort of intentionally
majestically minimalist

as three over-large, overstuffed chairs

have sitting upon them the
three members of the Chorus

that traveled with the Court
of Wonder to the Bloom.

Other than a mild difference in height,

there's no visual
distinguishment between them.

They have that like, marble mask.

Whenever you encounter
one, the mask switches

between either that sort of like,

tragedy or comedy grotesqueness.

And long robes of deep
blue in gloved hands

and just an intentional
obscurement of features.

And they all gesture simultaneously to you

as you walk in to a chair in front of them

of equal size and plushiness

that's just sort of before them.

- Hmm, can I roll a perception check

just to catch the vibes of this?

- I'm gonna say that's an
insight check to catch a vibe.

- [Oscar] Oh, insight? Okay.

- Perception check to spot a thing.

- Okay, great.


- Yeah, it is formal and
there's a sort of like,

purposeful intensity
utterly devoid of malice.

- Yeah, that makes me feel a lot better,

and I walk in and I take
a seat on the chair.

- Something to the way these robes move

doesn't even allow for the mask
to shift as someone speaks.

There is no sense of, there's
a face behind the mask

and it shifts with musculature,

but they all just speak as one

in not just unison but
harmony as they say,

"Rue, thank you for joining us.

We don't mean to put on airs,

but this is an important
meeting, and we want to show you

through the formality of our appointment

the depth of our gratitude to you

in all that you have done
to carry off this event

and make good the name
of the Court of Wonder

throughout the Fey realm.

How does this morning find you?"

- It finds me well.

If I may speak candidly, I
was nervous to come here.

I was under the assumption
that a lot of my actions

might have reflected badly
on the Court of Wonder.

- You are referring to, of course,

those who believe your status

as the Master of Ceremonies

precludes your ability to
engage and enjoy them, yes?

- Well, am I wrong for thinking that?

- Rumors, happenstance.

We see nothing wrong
with what you've done.

- And what about the rumors
that the Court of Wonder

is keeping a lot of the magic resources

and its relation to the Court of Craft?

Were those rumors as well?

- Of course.

People are wont to talk.

We regret the dissolution
of the Court of Craft.

That is beyond our control
and beneath our sights.

They were our sister, yes.

But we are holders

of vastly different realms
of power and portfolios.

We regret deeply that we
did not see what was coming

and intervene, but what is
done is done, and people talk.

- And what about the rumor

that this is indeed the last Bloom?

Had the Lord of the Wings
not snapped everyone

to their senses, I mean,

we might possibly not have another Bloom.

- Give me an insight check.

- Come on baby, roll high, please.

(laughs) 21.
- Oh baby.

(players cheering)
- You catch in just a moment

a little turning of one of their heads

in the direction of
another and you realize now

that there is a connection
between the three of them.

They are coordinating their
words, and that mention

gave them enough pause
to let it slip a little.

They recover after some long seconds.

The Lords of the Wing will do as they do.

And again, you put so much stock in rumor.

Why do you debase yourself

with the murmurings of people who...

We serve them as we serve all realms,

but we do not concern ourselves

with the murmurings of lesser Fey.

- (exhales softly) You have to
understand that these rumors

are truly my way of connecting with

the Court of Wonder

- And that is our fault.

We have held you at arm's length.

We wished only for your happiness

and the sense of freedom to move about

and do what you do best,
but we realize our mistake.

We wish to hold you closer still.

When you return home at
the end of this Bloom,

which we do not believe
to be the last Bloom

because what could end
a surge such as this?

We would offer you a mask
and a place among us.

- (gasps) Oh!
- Ooh.

- Oh!
- [Omar] Congratulations.

- Congratulations.

- You're suggesting
that I join the Chorus?

- It would please us greatly.

Your insights, your knowledge,

your gifts, your talents are

wondrous to us

We love them and you.

- This is...

And what of the Bloom?

If I join the Chorus I must give up

the title of Master of Ceremony.

- You have trained a worthy
replacement, have you not?

- In Wuvvy, yes.
(player groans)

- In Wuvvy, yes. Is it
not her time to shine?

- (inhales deeply) Ooh.

- I have been debating
relenting my position

as the Master of Ceremony.

That regardless of whether
this is the last Bloom or not,

I will no longer be
the Master of Ceremony.

If you remember, I made a wager
with the Lords of the Wing.

If they were to lose the wager,

they would lose a lot of money.

- [Aabria] Hm.
(players laughing)

- As most things go, but if
they were to win the wager,

I was going to offer either

Lady Featherfowl or Lord Airavis

the positions of Masters of
Ceremony for the next Bloom.

(players gasp)

- You feel a ripple,

a surge of magic

tied to strong emotion,
that also being tamped down

by whatever magic is
obscuring their features,

but you feel it, indignation.

An interesting wager to be sure.

It is your title, but is it yours to give?

- I understand that. I understand that.

But why must the Court of Wonder

hold the title, Master of Ceremony?

Why must we hold on to the
magic that controls the Bloom?

- Who better than us?

- Does this practice not coincide
with the idea of the Bloom

to co-mingle, come together,

exchange experiences between courts?

When we are apart from the Bloom,

all the other courts stay together.

That is why I love making
events for the Bloom.

The reason that I do the Bloom,
that I have done the Bloom

was for love, was for
people of different courts

to come together and find true
love so they can intermingle

and hopefully one day maybe
banish the thought of courts.

(Brennan and Surena gasp)

(Surena and Brennan cheer boisterously)

The first event, the Hart Hunt,

do you not see the implication?

And when the prize was won

by both the Unseelie Court
and the Lord of the Wings,

I thought we were off to
something magnificent.

The second event, the tea
party. Why put those potions?

The potion of love, of free thought

is to understand one another
so connections can be made.

The Hedge Maze, what was the prize?

A crystal heart, a symbol of love

transparent, beautiful, precious.

The ball, well, that's self-explanatory.

(dramatic music)

And you have the audacity

(Brennan gasps)
(Surena groans nervously)

- Oh!

- To tell me that this
event should be orchestrated

by one of our own and
only by one of our own.

That stands against
everything I hold important,

everything I hold dear.

(dramatic music)

- You feel wave after wave

of strong emotion hit you.

Though no one ever speaks
up, they let you rant.

They watch with faces

that remain violent in
their impassiveness.

- Whew.
- Ooh.

- Yikes.
(Brennan snaps fingers)

- And once you've sort
of blown yourself out,

you notice in your pocket
something is generated.

- Oh, ooh.
(Surena gasps in astonishment)

- Wow.

- Quite beautiful.

- And a couple long moments stretch out

and they begin again.
(music softens)

We admire your passion,

and we see your purpose here.

And we do not fault you for your outburst.

It's in your nature. We
do not rescind our offer.

We think, we think...

And you feel again that light rippling

of complexity,

everything that isn't being said,

emotions being bandied back and forth,

a disagreement felt like ripples

if you were standing at the edge of a pond

and then they begin again in unison.

It is better for you to stand with us.

- Than against us.

- We didn't say that.
- You didn't have to.

- Oh!
(players laughing)

- Yeah!
- [Brennan] Yeah!

- It's so good!

- Wow.
- Oh!

- Yeah, where do you...

We'll kind of wipe from
there, but where is Rue headed

after that altercation?
- [Oscar] Yeah, yeah, I-

- Job offer?
- [Emily] Job offer!

- I'm completely at, I,
I'm just overwhelmed.

My instinct, I say "Wuh,"
and I cut myself short

because I understand that
to invite Wuvvy, Wuvvy is...

Oof, is no longer a confidant

(players gasp)
I'm starting to realize.

Especially after the connection of

the Chorus

pushing for Wuvvy to be the
next Master of Ceremony.

Tears well up in my eyes
and all I want to do

is be consoled by Hob.

- [Lou] Mm, mm.

- But I think better of
it and I go to try to find


- (gasps) Amazing.
(Omar claps)

And as we see you kind of
disappear out of your room

and head in the direction

of BINX's strange little
space under the radiator,

let's cut to the Lords of
the Wing seeking out Suntar.

- So I guess we just wait here, Cousin.

- Yes.
- And all we have to do

is we just get through this interaction

and then we get through
brunch with Grandfather.

- Oh.
- And then he takes off

back into the sky.
- Yes.

- And then we destroy
our reputations again

and win a bunch of money.
- Finally.

- [Emily] Oh!
- It's gonna be great.

What do you think I'm gonna do?

I can't, I'm not gonna
marry Prince Apollo, right?

- I don't know. Do you want to?

- Kind of.
- Really?

- I don't know. It seems like it'd be fun.

- Are you falling in love?

- Absolutely not.
(cast laughing)

I wouldn't call it love. It's just um...

My interest is piqued, you know?

He seems to be kind of nasty, you know?

In the same way that I'm
kind of nasty so you know,

it would be, I don't think love fits

whatever we might have, but-

- Have you engaged in carnal delights yet?

- Oh, I wish.

You should have seen the way
he does the Harlem Shake.

(cast laughing)
- I did.

I did see the way he did the Harlem Shake.

- Uh-huh, you saw the way
he did the Harlem Shake.

- Because I was also Harlem Shake.

- Exactly who we are.
(cast laughing)

God, that BINX was fun. Ooh.

- You feel a cold breeze
move through the space.

(wind softly rustles)

- Ah, Suntar, my potential betrothed.

- And the darkness in front of you deepens

until it becomes like an inky spot

almost like Andhera's darkness spell,

but like, soft at the edges
and it sort of fades narrowly

into the shape of a humanoid.

And then walking from that is Suntar.

- Suntar.
- M'lady.

- Ah, I kiss her hand.

Formalities, you know?

So, we have brunch with
Grandfather. Oh, (blows kiss) and...

(laughs) Wait, right now
I know he's back at the...

(cast laughing)

- Grandpa, that's right,
he's not in the sky.

(cast laughing)

- Suntar, we have brunch with Grandfather,

and we were wondering, everything
that Prince Apollo told us

sounded very interesting.

You know, the Lords of the Wing

might be very interested
in an endeavor like that,

and we were wondering, you
know, how we might aid.

- Huh.

- At least if you gave us some information

we could bring it to Grandfather,
and he could sort of say,

"Oh, this is what we
can allot to the cause."

- Deception check.

(Omar groans anxiously)
- Okay.


- Can I give my cousin Bardic?

- No.
- Great, happily.

- Ooh, oof.

- 19.
- Hm.

I think you

are incredibly clever.

- Thank you so much. Thank you.

That's really, wow.

- [Aabria] And I think-
- I think you're

pretty attractive.
(Omar chuckles)

Cousin, say something nice.
- [Aabria] Thank you.

- We're doing compliments.

- We don't have to do
compliments. I'm good.

- I've got a bunch.
(cast laughing)

- I know.
- Ooh.

- I don't think you would
think me very clever

if I offered up everything.

- Oh, okay. That's also fine.

If I overstepped please-

- [Aabria] No.
- Forgive me.

- We would be happy to explore
those options with you,

but an offer was made.

and all we've had in
return is strawberries.

If some sort of guarantee were made,

the thing we endeavor to do
will shape not only this world

but all others forever.

And I'm not gonna fumble the bag

so close to victory.

- Of course.
- That's fair.

I mean, again, our
grandfather invented birds.

We know the power.

- My mother invented darkness.

- Oh!
(Surena groans)

- Listen, I didn't mean
it as a pissing contest.

I meant it more as that
we understand the depths

of the implications that decisions made

by a court of true power
such as ours can have.

And though, yes, as your suggestion

in the previous evening that our court

is in a interesting place,

we seek to control and mold
the worlds as we once did.

- Give me deception or
persuasion. It's your call.

- [Lou] Okay.
- But between the two of you,

you can give it to me with advantage.

She is not immune to flattery.

- That's one.

(die taps table)

That's two.


- Oh!

You see a young woman sort
of rigid in her posture

doing her best approximation

of the countenance of her mother.

I think you see through her to something,

I won't put words in your
mouth or tell you how you feel,

but I do feel like the two
of you understand a bit

the struggle of being in the shadow

of a mighty leader of not
just a court but a family.

And she is doing her best,

but you find that exact
right note to strike,

that bit of ego to stroke,

and you see her soften in front of you.

(apprehensive music)

Okay. (inhales softly)

Well, (chuckles softly)
let your grandfather know,

in addition to both Apollo

and my's greetings and salutations

that we will have one
chance to put something

into the world, enough
to sustain the mortals

and let them make their own way,

but magic is our gift.

And we have been stockpiling
objects, talismans,

things of great power in order

to realign the fissures in this plane.

The tears in the veil, we can close them.

The how is the interesting thing, though.

- I can't wait to find out.

- And you see her genuinely smile

and then gain her composure again.

I would hope that after
speaking with your grandfather,

the two of you would
come to an understanding.

- [Lou] Mm.
- And let us know

at your earliest convenience.

By the end of the week
there's a play in the works,

and we would be honored if you sat with us

as a show of unity and
strength in our box at it.

- That would be fantastic.

- It's certainly such a prized position.

- I know, your box has A/C. I love that.

I think that this information will really,

really sweeten the deal with Grandfather.

- Oh yes, the thing he has right here

is gonna be shaking back and forth.

- His wattle, yeah, but in delight.

- Oh, that's good.

Well, there's much to do,
and I will take my leave.

- I'm gonna put my hand
on Suntar's shoulder.

The generation before
us has had their time.

It's time to show the world our birds.

(cast chuckles)

- Oh my God.

- I message Squak, "What the fuck?"

(cast laughing)

- She gets it, she gets it.

She's gonna get it, she'll get it.

- But she absolutely gets it.

Ooh, till further notice
you have advantage

on persuasion checks with Suntar.

- What?
- Ooh.

- And she disapparates under your grip.

- Disapparates, Cousin, should you

enter that political alliance?

- Oh, definitely. There's
no nastiness there.

Zero nastiness.
- [Emily] Oh, that's true.

- I just kind of saw-
- No, it was great.

I loved it.
- I have my moments.

- Okay, well, let's bring
none of this information

back to Grandfather.
- (chuckles) Not a peep!

- [Emily] Not a peep, oh.
(cast laughing)

- No!

- My niece.

- Okay, now send the pictures on the way.

- Wait, oh, you have pictures!
- (laughs) Amazing.

Let's cut to Major Hob.

- I leave my tent.

I walk to directly report
to Blemish and Boil.

- [Aabria] Mm.

- My Lord and Lady, I received
your notice very well.

Some questions then as to the nature

of my mission here at the Bloom in the...

And what elements of it may
now be no longer pertinent.

- [Aabria] Hm.

- Are we still attempting
to secure marriage

for the Viscountess Grabalba?

- According to her,
things are well in hand.

- Come on, Grabalba!
(cast laughing)

- Honestly, if not with Fable, then who?

- I had an opportunity to crush
that rumor and I was like,

honestly, someone very near to me,

as they so eloquently put
it, "We all saw what we saw."

You know? We all saw what we saw.

(cast laughing)

- Someone near to you?
- Hm?

- Oh!
- Uh...

- Near to you?

- Physically, some one close by,

within arm's reach, proximity, spatial-

- Deception check!
- Oh no!

- Yikes, yikes.
- No!

Come on, sneaky.

Ooh! What's the roll, deception?

- [Aabria] Yeah.

- Dirty 20.
- (gasps) Ooh.

- A dumb Goblin like me has
no feelings of which to speak!

As you've said, I'm a blunt instrument.

My head is full of rocks
and my heart of garbage

- Yes, yes, yes, yes. You
also, please don't yell.

- [Brennan] Sorry!
- Do you not drink?

- I am sorry.

Who would ever love me, you
know? (laughs despairingly)

- Lady Boil fully turns
and just barfs. (groans)

They are deep in a hangover.

- Very well, sorry I'm...

I know that my booming voice is bad

when you've been drinking.

The Viscountess has marriage well in hand.

In terms of the rumor of an
assassin or agent saboteur

amongst the Court of Wonder, this is...

On my end those ends have come up dry.

I don't know if you've found anything.

Is it perhaps time that we dismiss this

as nothing more than a rumor?

Or is this a lead you still
wish for me to pursue?

- We are still here for
a little while longer.

Are you so derelict in your duty

that you would like to risk
our wellbeing by moving on?

- No, no, I'll keep an
eye out for that assassin.

(cast laughing)

The insult paid to our
court by Prince Apollo

during the hedge maze.
- Yes.

- I have confirmed with
the Lords of the Wing

that the mistaken
understanding was deposited

in the mind of Lord Airavis
by Prince Apollo himself.

Does our honor require satisfaction?

- (sighs) And you see Lord Blemish

takes a couple deep breaths,
sort of calming down

that like, bloodlust that
you see sort of coming up

behind their bloodshot eyes.

We demand


- [Brennan] Very well, I shall-

- Bring us his head.

- I will attempt to, in
offering a gentleman's slap

to initiative the duel,

I will attempt to decapitate
him in that moment.

- Very good.

- Finally, or rather second
to last, I only meant to ask,

in your note of my new assignment.

- [Aabria] Mm-hmm.

- (inhales and exhales
softly) You made mention

of the Unseelie working
alongside the Court of Wonder.

The Prince Andhera and I have
become sparring partners,

and the young royal,

I would consider...

There is a possibility that
there may be a friendly ear

to the Goblin Court within the Unseelie.

- [Aabria] Hm.
- Is there any utility

in approaching His Highness if we worry

that the Unseelie Court
is conspiring against us?

Is there any usefulness
to the Lord and Lady

in perhaps procuring a

rise in station for the young prince

over perhaps his sister?

- Go on.

- I simply mean to say that I
talked with the boy, the man.

I know him, and if there is
some aid I might provide him

that would see him rise
to succeed his mother,

the Queen of Air and Darkness,

that perhaps such an arrangement
within the Unseelie Court

would be advantageous
to prevent an alliance

between the Unseelie
and the Court of Wonder.

I do not think it is unnoticed
by some here at the Bloom

that the young prince may indeed have eyes

for the ruler of a court
perhaps more favorable to us.

- The Court of Craft.

- [Brennan] Precisely, Lord and Lady.

- You've been hard at work, haven't you?

- (snaps fingers and
claps hands) You know it.

(players chuckle)

- Okay.

Sure, if you see an opportunity,

we trust you to take it.

Do you have anything else to
say about our little note?

Are you amenable to the union, Major?

- Uh, what matters the
amenability of a soldier?

You have given me my orders.

- Perhaps we were too harsh.
You are no mere soldier.

- Oh? What, pray tell, then
am I, Your Lord and Ladyship?

- And you see them, the
gears are turning. This...

Give me an insight check.

(die taps table)

- That is an 11.

- They look back and
forth between themselves,

kind of give you a little nod.

You are like us, important
and a little different,

but so valuable to our court.

- (exhales deeply) You honor me.

All I have ever wished
to be is of service.

And to rumpus and ruin, yes.

- Yeah, yes, yes, yes, rumpus, ruin, yes.

It gets loud every time.

(sighs) We will leave you to it then.

And if you perform your duty,

then we will have nothing to say

with whatever other activities
fill your time here.

- Very well. I aim only to serve.

I make one request, if I may,

in accepting the role of major.

- [Aabria] Hm.

- In my years of service to come,

I would ask that the
Lord and Lady communicate

to His Majesty, the Goblin King

that I must decline all future rewardings

of any medals of valor or courage.

- Why? Sorry, no, why?

- I would consider it
that the Lord and Lady

command that knowledge as
a matter of military order

do they ask it as Goblins like us.

And as a Goblin like you, My Lady,

I must invoke the rule of sneakery.

My business is my own.

- Oh.
- Oh!

(Aabria laughs mischievously)

- Ah, okay.
- [Brennan] Uh, I-

- Yeah.
- I'm gonna move to the stable

to go and meet BINX.

I walk into the stable.

(sorrowful piano music)

(sobs softly) And I put my
hand up on a horse and I go,

"Well, dear old Wrackingspelt."

(cast laughing)
- Aw, aw.

- Wonderful news. I've fallen in love.

- Oh. Wrackingspelt
nuzzles your hand, yeah.

- I pet my wonderful horse,

and I ride off to the tailor's shop.

- Yeah, let's just follow it.

- Great, so BINX has
been at the tailor's shop

for probably about an hour
earlier than they needed to be.

- [Aabria] Mm-hmm.

- They have set up the
map that Hob had drawn

with all of the scribbles.

They have made it 3D so there's figurines,

there's terrain, there's things.

There's, instead of red string
there's like red ribbons

that have been tied to certain parties.

The ventriloquist
dummies have new clothes.

- Yeah!
(Aabria laughs)

(Omar claps)
- Incredible.

- [Surena] And...
- Wait, there's plural now?

(cast laughing)
- There's so many.

- You don't just have
one ventriloquist dummy.

(cast laughing)

- This tailor's a freak.

- That's what I was saying,

and y'all made me feel
like I was weird for that.

- Listen, Geppetto switched careers.

That's fine.
- No.

- And BINX is nervously
waiting for Hob's arrival

playing with that cup and ball, you know?

Like sorta just...
- Yeah.

Give me a dexterity check.

- Just a straight up dex?
- [Aabria] Yeah.

- That is 15.

- Yeah, you get the hang of it
in probably like 10 minutes.

- So it's just perfect.
- [Aabria] Yeah.

- I'm methodically doing it perfect.

- Yeah, it's like you're that way.

- Like a serial killer.

- 100%.
- Cool. (laughs)

- I open the door to the
tailor's shop and stride in

and I look around and go, "Hi."

- Hi.
- My word, this is incredible.

What a display of...

- Well, I just figured it
would be easier, right?

Like, just having them
in the physical space.

You can move 'em around
and then we can figure out

where we should apply the sneakery

and the subterfuge and all of that.

- By Jove,

I've finally met another fairy who,

honestly works, who just like, works.

- [Surena] Yeah, I'm just really-

- Incredible, it's amazing!
You're amazing at this!

- [Surena] I was thinking that about you.

- I have so much respect for what you do.

- [Surena] What? Oh my God.

- And the Prince Andhera's
suit? My Goodness!

- Oh, I don't know. What?

Like, we're just like, cool and stuff but-

- What are you saying?
- I don't know.

- You did make the suit, right?

- I did. Oh my God, I don't what I was-

- Wait, what were you reacting to?

- No, I wasn't reacting to anything!

- No, I know!
- I was just-

- Hey, listen, I should
know about falling in love

at the Bloom last night.

(players laughing)
(Aabria screams excitedly)

- [Surena] So, yeah.

- What did you say?
- I, uh-

- [Brennan] You said that.

- Well, I didn't say falling in love.

- You said, you did say it!

- I didn't say falling in
love! What I'm saying was-

- Who'd you fall in love with?

- Andhera.
(Omar and Aabria laugh)

- Rue
- [Surena] Andhera.

- And Rue.
- [Surena] Andhera, but-

- And very much in love.
- I know, I wasn't saying.

Trying to figure it out
but you never really

talked about it before.
- That's so beautiful.

- It's so beautiful. I'm so proud of you!

Just a bit is, oh my God-

- I want to hide my ears. (sobs)

- My ears are so red!
(Brennan sobbing)

Oh, oh my God. Oh my God.

- Oh wait, but you are the
leader of the Court of Craft,

and I believe-
(Surena gags)

That the young...

You are, nauseous or
not, you are the leader

of the Court of Craft.
- I know, I just, I was just,

this is the first leadership
position I've ever really held.

- Well. (chuckles)

- And I'm just, you
know, and my job before

was when everybody was, when
the court was getting ready

for their sleepytime hours

I would bring them blankets and cocoa

and we would just sit by the fire

and like, wind down for the evening.

But then there were
fewer blankets to bring

and then there were none at
all, and I was just by myself.

- Circumstance makes leaders of many.

Most of our company here
at the Bloom, I would say,

were born to their position.

You and I were not.
- Right.

- And by blood and fang we will prove

that we have as much of a
right to be here as any!

- You are absolutely right.
We do, we do! (slams table)

This figure right here,
this is Sandera, Suntar.

Just kidding, Suntar. This is Suntar!

- Suntar, now, I've heard this as well

from my Lord and Lady Blemish,
Lord Blemish and Lady Boil

that the Unseelie may
in fact be in cahoots

with the Court of Wonder.

- So I heard from a
kind, hospitable person

that that might be true.
- Hm, hospitable rings a bell!

- Oh.
- [Omar] Oh.

- [Surena] But-
- Wings a bell.

(cast laughing)

- Wings a beak.
(cast laughing)

Nah, true gibberish.

- I think that Suntar

is maybe at the heart of it with Apollo!

- (gasps) I'm going to kill him!

- Are you?
- Well, that's the plan.

- Well, okay, what if, what if.

- [Brennan] Hm?
- We did a sneaky murder?

Like a sneaky sneak
murder where it is Suntar-

- [Brennan] Ooh.

- Who is framed for Apollo's murder.

(Brennan and Omar gasp)

- Now, that is delightfully
diabolical, Ms. Choppley.

- I just thought of it. I
just thought of it right now.

(Aabria laughs)

- Yes, to separate the two courts

would indeed be most advantageous.

A conversation between you
and I think our young friend,

the Prince, maybe will...

Listen, I know-
- I just think,

you know, why would he?

There's like, you know,
like I, there's no reason

for him to like me, like,
you know what I mean?

So like, it doesn't matter. I mean, sorry.

Sorry, I'm projecting. Continue.

- Ms. Choppley...
- You can just call me BINX

unless you want to call me Ms. Choppley.

It's really up to you, but I
don't really need formalities.

- [Surena] Yeah.

- [Brennan] BINX.

- There are things so precious

that even in an immortal life
their coming must be seen

as the rarest of all possible gifts.

- (chuckles) I told
somebody else that recently.

- Many of us see our chance at happiness.

- [Surena] Mm-hmm.

- And no matter the length of our reach

know that it is beyond our grasp.

If you have the station that you have

and the Prince sees something in you,

all I can say is this.

In love and war you must not
miss your moment to strike.

(tender instrumental music)

I, I am headed for a life of service.

- Why? And there's no
judgment, there's nothing.

It's just genuine curiosity
when BINX asks that question.

(tender instrumental music)

- Delloso de la Rue is the
most singularly courageous

ethereally beautiful, constant, kind

and true Fey I have ever met.
- Mm-hmm.

- They have given us all
many gifts. Countless Blooms.

There may be no single fairy
for whom there is more credit

for joy and wonder than Delloso de la Rue.

And last night in an act of graciousness

I cannot begin to comprehend,

they showed me kindness and affection,

a gift that I cannot begin
to describe the enormity of.

But I know that my affections
also caused them great dismay.

It was the purpose of the
duel with their assistant,

and Rue has enough on their mind.

Their bravery in revealing their true self

and their tenuous relationship
with the Count of Wonder and-

- So you've decided for them?
Is that what you're doing?

- They have decided for them.

- Cut here really quickly.

You said that Rue would
have immediately returned

to look for BINX.
- Yeah.

- You go to where you know
(Omar gasps)

they are staying in that forgotten place

under the radiator, they are not there.

What do you do next?
- What would I do next?

I take a moment and then I think to myself

with a smile on my face,

"I wonder if BINX is with Andhera."

And I head over to his quarters.

- Okay, we cut back to you two.

- I look at you and I just say,

"I have made no decision for them.

I would never deign to do such a thing."

- Well, you're making a bunch of excuses

right now for them, right?

No, I'm not trying to say
that in a mean way at all.

I just want to understand
because I'm very confused.

I know what they're doing,
but what are you doing?

- I am not going to put
them in the position

I put them in before by being forward.

- Well-
- They have shown me kindness.

- Yes.
- And that is well enough.

- [Surena] Absolutely.
- And it was a kindness paid

to a humble Goblin by a beautiful,

by a beautiful member
of the Court of Wonder,

and it was a deep and profound kindness.

And for me to have known
even a single day of love

is a gift that I never thought

I would be lucky enough to have,

and I will not squander
it hoping for more.

I will not spoil it hoping for more.

It was beautiful for what it was.

And I am ordered to marry.

And I...

And I will not...

- Who are you ordered to marry?

- A lady of the Seelie Court.

- I am a new court.

What if you married into my, not me,


- I...

I have already said more than I should.

- And...

- BINX, your court is dying.

I appreciate the kindness
you are showing me

that I might know happiness,

but I'm telling you that I already have.

I have known happiness, and
what matters now in this moment

is that we act quickly to save
this realm and all others.

- [Surena] Mm-hmm.

- Your plan is a brilliant one.

You are, frankly, a master tactician.

- Oh, thank you, I, you know-

- But your plan would work best

with knowledge of Suntar and her ways.

Prince Andhera is a friend of ours.

- [Surena] Mm-hmm.
- I suggest you go to him.

If this plan may work,
that we may drive a wedge

between the Court of
Wonder and the Unseelie,

then all may be saved in time.

- You're right.

I guess, you know,

thank you for sharing all of this with me.

I know it's, feelings are
weird and it's hard and-

- It's terrible. It's honestly the worst.

- It's terrible and it hurts-
- It's the worst, yes.

- When you saying it and you
kinda feel a little nauseous,

and I absolutely understand that.

I just, I want you to know

that courts, (scoffs)

the royalty, the frivolity,

the structure of them,
it's all smoke and mirrors.

At the end of the day, it doesn't matter.

But I'm happy for your
friendship. I'm happy for you.

I do not care of the Goblin Court,

the structures, the orders they give you.

That's not what I care
about. I care about you.

I want you to be happy so
whatever I can do to participate

in the happiness of you, I'm into it so.

- Though I may never mention it

and will deny it if it is
said in front of my superiors-

- Oh no, I'll help you deny it.

- I will say that I treasure
your friendship as well.

- And from there I wanna
cut over to Andhera.

People are looking for you.

People will be looking for
you, but where are you?

- I am down at the mouth of a sea cave.

A very tumultuous mouth of a sea cave.

The kind of spot along a coastline

where there's always wind.
- [Aabria] Yeah.

- Do you know what I'm talking about?

- [Aabria] 100%.
- There's never not wind.

And there's no corner you can
find in this kind of divot.

- [Aabria] Yeah.

- And I stand there

with the fierce ocean
wind hitting my robe.

Mother, I would like to speak to you.

- [Aabria] Make an arcana check.

- Okay.

(die taps table)

That's gonna be a 17.

- You feel her magic before
she makes herself known.

The mouth of this cave grows darker,

and you hear that sort of roaring

of the tide moving within you.
(waves crashing)

You would only expect to hear this sound

during a storm or a high tide
as air is rushing around.

It's windy but it's fairly calm.

And yet your ears hurt a little bit

with the sound of it as she arrives.

And just as soon as it begins
and overwhelms you it stops.

(blowing wind softens)

And for the first time in so
long that she cannot remember,

the Queen of Air and Darkness herself

is standing in front of you in the cave.

She is darkness personified.

Long black hair, dark skin, dark features,

eyes like a shark and teeth feral.

- [Surena] Mm-mm, no.
- Black and dripping.

Black form-fitting robes
as she walks towards you.

A being that looks only
a little bit like her,

and you can see that in her eyes.

My son.
- Mm-hmm, hello, Mom.

- You called?

- Yes, and I will be sure to
make this as quick as possible.

I've found myself at the
center of many spokes

of what seems to be a
rapidly-turning wheel.

- [Aabria] Hm.

- I have come into the
possession of many secrets,

many personal interests.
- Oh, no.

- And many motivations.
- [Aabria] Hm.

- I also have the sense
that our court is moving

towards some major step,

and I've been omitted
from that conversation.

I would like that to be swiftly amended

considering two features.

One, my sister is making their gamble

upon the more chaotic
elements of the Bloom.

- [Aabria] Hm.

- Many have noticed their ambition,

and they have been thwarted,
if I'm not incorrect,

at every single step of the way.

Hardly a shining example of our court.

- Oh.
- Second,

you have not been able to
do it yourself, have you?

Oh, you take form now, and
I appreciate the gesture.

Truly, I do, but if you were able to do it

you wouldn't have created children

to do your bidding for you.

So I elect myself to represent our court.

I would like to know what we are doing.

And I would like to actually do it

since everyone else in my
family seems to be flailing

and embarrassing us every step of the way.

And if this hurt your
tender feelings, Mom,

I would ask you to pack those down.

We have work here to do.

- Pillar Boy, where?
- Damn, damn!

- [Brennan] Pillar Boy, where?

- Gone Pillar Boy.
- Where?

- [Brennan] Where? (laughs)
- Gone.

- Who are you to order me around?

- Hm, I am the inheritor of the throne,

and the purifier of our name, currently.

I will not speak-
- Do you know

how many children I have had?

I have watched generation after generation

devour themselves to move to my throne

and none are worthy.

Why do you think yourself different?

Because you learned a fucking secret?

Because sabotaged your sister?

- Well-
- My throne will be held

by someone of steel and shadow both.

And you, you cannot help
but walk in the light.

You need to be seen,

to be loved, to be held.

- You always said,

"Lies have no form

and emit no brilliance."

Therefore you, the Queen
of Air and Darkness

have no use for lies.

You see right through them
so I speak plainly to you

knowing that you will
tell if I'm lying to you.

It is exactly the reasons
that you just shared.

- [Aabria] Hm.

- I have the boldness to have sentiment.

Something that every single
one of your offspring

up until now have been
considered to be weakness.

Where are they now, dear Queen?

- I mean...

- And where are their successes?

As I have to have this
conversation with you

in a fucking sea cave!
(Brennan and Surena laugh)

- I have chosen my domain.

And you think yourself above it.

- I think myself soon
to be the master of it.

(Surena chuckles)
So let's say this.

I'm included in what we're
doing or it doesn't succeed.

And that's not a threat. That's
a very ardent prediction.

I've studied our history.

I spent most of my
childhood in the libraries.

It's not an offer.

That's just the two possibilities

you're looking at right now.

Read me, you know I'm telling the truth.

(suspenseful music intensifies)

- Make a wisdom saving throw.
(players groan nervously)

- Throw off shark-toothed woman.

(players laughing)

- All right, here we go.

I'll use this one because it
was blessed under the new moon.

(laughs) Wisdom?

(die taps table)
- [Aabria] Yeah.

- Great, great.

It's a seven.

- [Surena] Oh.
- [Lou] I could feel it.

- I kinda could feel it, too.

- You can feel the new
moon wanted to play.

- You could feel in the great.

You were like-
- Yeah.

- The new moon which controls the tides.

- Of course.
- [Emily] Yeah.

- Wanted it this way.
- Foundations of the cosmos.

- Absolutely.
- Wow.

- Take 28 points of psychic damage.

- Oh shit!
- Whew, Mama mad.

- Mama, Mama.
- Oh!

(Emily laughs)

- Why you gotta be like that, Mama?

- As she begins to weep
tears of black ichor

down an already darkened face.

(fantasy music)

You challenge?

You would stand and look me in the eye?

And even when struck, here you remain.

My plans are what they have always been,

and it is your sister and her ambitions

that you should look out for.

Do what you will and we
will speak again after.

(Brennan laughs softly)

- Very well.

- I hope you are stronger than the rest.

You are bolder, certainly.

(Brennan gasps)
(dramatic music)

Then she disappears.

- Whew, and then I drop Heroism.

(cast laughing)

Fucking hell!

And I lean against the
wall cave and vomit.

(cast laughing)
(Omar retches)

Oh, fuck! All right, how do I get back?

How do I get out of here?
(cast laughing)

- Amazing.

- That was most regal
version of a mom being like,

"You and your sister figure it out."

- Yeah.
- [Brennan] Figure it out.

- Figure it out.

- From one horrible head
of a family to another,

let's cut to the Lords of the Wing.

(cast laughing)
- Oh!

- I'm feeling spiced up. Time to be...

- Okay, Cousin, how do
I look? How do I look?

- [Lou] You look fantastic.
- Okay, okay.

Any feathers afoul?
- Yes, so bring it just-

- Oh, this way, okay.
- Bring it back more.

Do you mind?
- Okay.

(Lou spits)
(cast laughing)

- [Lou] There it is.

- It's dove milk that comes out.

- Oh you know, a little thick.
- [Aabria] No!

- And it is... (spits)

Yeah, hair mousse right up for this one.

- Oh, okay, okay, Grandfather.

Hm, okay. (clears throat)
- Whew, whew, hah, hah.

- Hah.
- Hah, Grandfather.

- [Emily] Grandfather.
- Grandfather, Grandfather.

♪ Grandfather ♪
- Grandfather, Grandfather!

What do you think, big, small?

- Let's go small and get bigger.

- Yes, so are we chanting it?

We're trying to get a chant going?

- (laughs) Yeah, yeah.
- [Lou] Great.

- I'll summon my flock of African-

- Yeah, bring the talking ones.

The ones with the vocabulary.
How many words is it?

(cast laughing)

- 800 to 1.000. Have I said that yet?

- No, well, why do you think I'm asking?

Okay, and I'd like to make a
perception check on the door

to keep our eye out so we can hit it

just when Grandfather walks in.

- Please do.
- That's gonna be...

- Can I give the help action?

- (laughs) Yeah, sure.
- With me and all my birds.

- Absolutely.
- Okay, thank God.

That's an 18.
(Emily laughing)

- Yeah, you guys have a good five minutes.

- Okay, oh, it's just...
- Oh, oh, ah!

- And then, yes, your birds start to alert

and then the door to your
nest turns and opens.

- Grandfather, Grandfather.

- [Emily And Lou] Grandfather,
Grandfather, Grandfather

Grandfather, Grandfather!

- And he pushes into the room
looking extremely disheveled

having had a very long night.

- [Emily And Lou] Oh!

- Grandfather!

- The chant was nice, if a bit much.

- The what was?
- The chant.

- Oh, yes, of course.

That's what we always do

when we come home from a one-night stand.

- Yes.
- Ooh!

(players laughing)

- So Grandfather, you wanted
to have brunch with us.

- Yes, of course.
- Yes.

A little, yes, I would
like that very much.

Please, come sit down.

And begins to move through the nest

with all of the countenance
of the one who owns it

and then sits in the chair.

- Does he sit in the chair
that we just sawed off?

- The sawed chair.

- He sees the sawed chair, does not ask.

- It was a play. It was a play.

- It was a play. We were
doing that on other people.

Power plays.
- Didn't ask.

And sits at the chair where
his back is facing the wall

and he can look out on everything

and then gestures for you
two to sit beside him.

- [Lou] Oh.
- Ah, I nestle in.

- Yes, we're sitting next to him?

- So we're all... (laughs)
- Ew, yeah.

It's like everyone being
on the wrong side of a-

- [Emily] So it's on a bench, on a bench.

- Sorry, I meant like table
and cousins on the side.

- Got it, got it, understood.
- [Aabria] Yes.

- So...

- [Emily] So...
- And he snaps his fingers

and Caw comes in and
immediately kind of clocks

what's going on and
goes, "Hm, I'm gonna..."

- Yeah, it's all right, go.

- And takes off and starts
making food preparations.

So, matches.

- Matches.
- [Emily] Yes.

- We've got 'em.
- We've got 'em.

And you like 'em. We told you last night.

- [Aabria] Yes.
- And you liked it.

(Lou chuckles)

- I still do if you weren't lying to me.

- Why would we be lying to you?

- We would not be lying to you.

- [Emily] Grandfather-
- Don't know.

In order to preserve your freedoms.

- No, Grandfather-

- [Aabria] To buy yourselves more time.

- My betrothal to the Prince
Apollo is all but certain.

- Well, what's the thing
that's going to move it

from all but to certain?

- Well, it's all, uh...

- It's gonna, we're going
to a play with them.

- Yes.
- And we're gonna sit

in a theater box and that's
when it's gonna be official.

- Yes, Grandfather-
- I mean, we all know

that Prince Apollo is not afraid
of canceling an engagement.

- (chuckles) Yes, with a Goblin.

(Emily laughs)
But with a Lord of the Wing.

- Yes.

- And with one so mature as me.

I wouldn't think about it.
- [Emily] Yeah.

- And I wouldn't worry about it either.

- Yeah.

- It is my job while I'm still here

to worry about the fortunes of our house.

- Mm-hmm.

- And we are glad for your worry.

- [Emily] Yes.
- But truly it is unnecessary.

You see, it's been a minute

since you've been to the Bloom and so much

of it is about the moment.
- Yes!

- [Lou] Seizing the moment.
- Oh!

- [Lou] When it is right.
- Yes.

- To simply be betrothed,
oh, that is one thing.

Anyone can announce their
betrothal or their engagement

along the way.
- [Emily] Yes.

- But it's about picking
your moments, Grandfather.

- [Emily] Yes, yes.

- There's moments when every
eye of the Bloom is on you,

and that your decision

to marry in that moment inspires everyone.

Love, it's not simply
a political alliance.

It becomes love. Love
emerging, love blooming.

You become the talk of the town.

Your alliance becomes the talk.

That is power, Grandfather.

And that is what we-
- [Emily] Yes.

- Have been working to capture.

- Yes, we are trying to
create the precise moment

in which we can announce our
betrothals to maximum effect

so that the Lords of the Wing may continue

to enjoy our due reputation.
- Yes.

- Not to mention, this Bloom I think

that both Squak and I have experienced

so many complications of the courts.

And if anything, I, Lady Chirp,

feel as though I'm really,
really beginning to,

ah, sincerely appreciate the fact

that you sought out our
independence all along.

I see what a tangled web it
is, and the foresight you had

to fly above unfettered.
- [Lou] Mm, mm.

- I really appreciate it, Grandfather.

And truly for the first time,

perhaps because I've
been so sober of mind.

(players chuckle)

- Okay, okay.

My precious grandchildren,

carriers of a noble line

that soars high above all others,

I will trust you in this.

But I will stay until it is confirmed.

- I love that for you.
- I love that for you.

(cast laughing)

If that's what you want
to do, Grandfather.

- Yeah. (laughs)

- I mean, I've never, I've
never suggested, I mean, I mean,

we've got spare rooms in the nest.

We'll move out of the master room.

- Yes, we will move out of the master.

- We'll move out of the master.

- We will move out of the master.

- It's all yours.
- Yes, it's all yours.

- It is all mine. This is my nest.

- It's your nest.
- It's your nest.

- And I haven't shared
in a very long time,

and I won't start today.

- I'm sorry, do we, is this, are we being?

- Are we gonna have to sleep on the couch?

- Are we gonna have to
sleep somewhere else?

Is that what you're...

- Are we getting rooms?

- I'm sorry, are you
going to have us sleep-

- I'm sure people with as
illustrious of epithets

to your name, someone would
no doubt be as hospitable

to you as you are to the Bloom.

- Ooh!
- [Surena] Eek!

- I'm, I'm...
- [Emily] Okay.

- Of course, of course.

We have many friends.
- [Emily] We do.

- Who will take us in and
allow us to live with them.

- Oh.
- [Emily] Yes.

- For days.
- [Emily] For days.

- And days.
- And not to complain

about how many birds we come with.

- Yes.

- And all the shit they
leave in their wake.

(Emily moans anxiously)

- Consider this my last
little pat on the back

to get this locked down.
- Oh, yeah.

- It is very like a bird to kick-

- [Lou] Kick the young-

- Hatchlings out and see if they fly.

- Thank you for not making
me have to say it, yes.

- Yes, yes, and spread our
wings we shall and soar on.

- [Emily] Yes.

- And Caw comes in at this point

and starts putting out
plates of like a nice pasta

with a cheese and egg
situation on top of it,

and your grandfather gestures and goes,

"They're not staying."

- We'll take a couple of boxes, Caw.

(cast laughing)

Any leftovers, you wanna
toss those in there as well?

- Caw kinda gives you
a little wink like...

- Thank you, Caw.
- (laughs) Okay.

- Well...
- (laughs) Oh my God!

- You know what? I love
this for you, you staying.

And I love this for us.

- It, it, um, uh, yes, what she said.

- So I guess we're just gonna go.

- We'll go.

- I have a lot of stuff here, though.

Should I send for someone?
- Yes, what would you prefer?

We can carry it now.
(cast laughing)

We can load up one of the
ostriches and have them pull it.

- All those hard-cover
copies of "The Green Hunter."

(cast laughing)

- Well, I've leave one.
(cast laughing)

- Gobble will send your things
along to wherever you land.

- Great, great.
- Okay, and land we shall.

- [Lou] Yes.
- Land ho! (chuckles)

- I'm coming in for a landing, oh.

All right, Grandfather, well... (laughs)

- Okay, bye, I love you.
(cast laughing)

- And I love you as well.

Wait, Grandfather, because
we're walking out the door

just in the name of gossip, who?

- Who? Oh, who indeed?

And I turn my flock of
familiars into owls.

- And if that's not for you,
then I'm just imitating an owl,

one of the great many birds you created.

- They call him the Sea Wall.

- [Players] Oh!

- Damn.

- The champion of the Seafoam Court.

- But the walls came down for you.

- You know it.

- Oh, wouldn't it be fun
to keep this dynamic going?

- It would!
(cast laughing)

- [Aabria] Absolutely not.
- Okay...

- [Aabria] And he begins to eat.

- Great, great.

- Okay, so I guess I just
have a rolling suitcase.

(cast laughing)

- I'm just holding

just my molten gold cloak.

I didn't really have many other things.

- I was lying, I wanted a reason

to sneak back in and hide and stay.

- Can I say in this moment
Andhera crests the cliff

and just eyes meet both of you.

- Oh!
- [Emily] Oh!

- [Lou] Hello!
- Hi!

What a lovely day to walk your suitcase.

(cast laughing)

Isn't it, though, isn't it?
- Isn't it?

The sun is high in the
sky. You, how, uh...

- Boiling.
- [Lou] Boiling, yes.

- In the, how are, yeah...

So you two are just
walking your suitcases out?

- (laughs) Well, the wheels get
rusty if you don't use them.

(cast laughing)

- Gotta keep those spokes moving.

- Right, yes, 'cause the nest

doesn't keep a lot of moisture out.

- [Lou] Yes, exactly.
- That makes sense.

- Yes.
- Where are you staying?

- Yeah, where are you staying?

Do you have a hookup at a hotel?

(cast laughing)

- Wait, it's funny. I wanted to...

Pillar Boy, I have to say,

are you a AAA member?

No, Pillar Boy, I must ask, it's simply

that we have always stayed in the nest.

And for out of genuine curiosity...

- Yes!
- [Lou] Where do other members

such as yourself.
- Yes.

- A prince of high appointment,
where would you stay?

- Yeah.
- Well, currently I'm staying

in a giant dormitory with
several different rooms.

- Oh.

- And with massive balconies

that overlook most of this space.

- Wow.
- Interesting.

I message Squak and I'm like,

"We could climb one of
those balconies tonight."

- And just slip in there?
- And just slip in there.

- Let's just, yeah. So
you don't wanna ask now?

You wanna sneak in later?
- Yeah.

Oh my gosh, that's such a good idea.

- I mean, it just came to me.

It would be very uncouth, but
feel like we can, with our,

you know, we'll just
talk our way around it.

- Yes.

- I can tell that you're
having a secret conversation

'cause you both went quiet
and you both did this

for like a good minute.

- Yeah, it started with a Message spell,

and then we just obviously whispered.

- And then I heard that part.
- Which part?

- Which part?

- I mean, it was very
hushed, but it sounded

like you wanted to
break into where I live.

(cast laughing)

- (laughs nervously) Pillar
Boy, you still got it.

- Pillar Boy.
- It was a jest.

It was a jape of sorts.
- [Emily] Yes, a jape, a jape.

- Okay, well um, I would
like to invite you both

over for a tea or drinks and gifts.

- Yes, yes.
- Oh!

- And let me just put it this way.

Stay as long as you'd like.

- So I can bring my suitcase?
- Yes.

- What if I were to bring my suitcase,

could I also unpack it?

- Oh, okay, let me be explicit.

You need a place to
say. You can completely-

- And how much money
will that cost, though?

- What sort of tender do you require?

- Let me just say, I'm
a very big fan, bro.

And I hold up the letter

that I earlier cast locate object on.

(Brennan gasps)

- (laughs) If you tell a soul I will-

(cast laughing)
- I take out my Shadow Blade

and I hold it to his throat.
(cast laughing)

You die with this secret!
- Spiritual Weapon!

- [Emily] You die with this secret!

- You're gonna fucking die!
- [Emily] You die!

- Why would I say?

I'm just literally saying,
"I'm a big fan, bro."

- [Lou] Yes, I know!
- [Omar] That's not what this-

- But don't talk! But don't talk!

- We've got a lot riding on this, Andhera!

We're asking Dev Patel
and Michael B. Jordan!

- Are you going to bring us
over there and tell everyone

you've got Airry Pearry's-
(cast laughing)

- Listen, I do think that
Renner is a good choice.

(Emily screams)
He's completely- (shouts)

- Who told you? Who have
you been talking to?

- Andhera, what seems to be the problem?

(Emily and Omar shout)

- Master, oh, what a fun
game that was just now!

- Another jape. A delicious jape.

A tasty, succulent jape we're having.

We were all on our way to have tea.

- [Emily] Yes.
- At the Prince Andhera's.

- And I was bringing my tea collection.

- In the suitcase?
- This is full of tea.

- [Emily] In a rolling suitcase.

- So it doesn't get rusty.
- Yes.

- I see..
- The teacups need to move

lest they get rusty.
- [Emily] Yes.

- And your blade that you're holding.

- (laughs nervously) Yes, uh, it is for

when I open the suitcase
'cause I don't know how

to work a zipper.
- Yes.

(cast laughing)

Thin bird fingers.

- Okay, I need to roll, like I gotta-

- Yeah, you gotta make an insight check

against your deception, Chirp's.

- I give you Bardic
Inspiration. We have to beat-

- [Emily] Oh, are we doing deception?

- We have to beat this.

I refuse to lose.
- [Aabria] This is so good.

- (chuckles) It's a nine.
- [Emily] I got an 18.

(cast laughing)

- I got, on deception, I got a 28.

- Oh my God!

- That beats a nine.
(cast laughing)

Oh, well, I know bags can be very fussy

so I completely understand.
- Yes.

They outsmart me every time.

- I just want to ask Andhera

if you've seen BINX around at all.

- Oh, I met the Lady BINX this morning.

- Oh, did you?
- Yes, I went to her radiator.

It's like an estate sale in there,

but you can't buy anything.

- Oh, those are her things.

- I love it. I love estate sales.

- It's very nice, very unique things.

You can't find them anywhere else.

- [Emily] Yes.

- I went there earlier
and I couldn't find her

so I assumed she'd, (chuckles softly)

well, she'd be with you, to be honest.

- Hmm.

- Oh, um, (chuckles) well,
uh, uh, she's not, um...

The only other place I can think of

that she might be would be...

Uh, the-
- Yes.

(Omar laughs)

Right, ah, of course, yes.

- [Omar] I can't even think of a place.

- [Oscar] Of course, no, I
can't think of it either.

- Yeah, but if I-
- How silly of me.

- My mind just got dressed down.

- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

I understand.

- (laughs) Yeah 'cause
ventriloquism dummy.

- (laughs) Right, exactly.
- What?

(cast laughing)

Ventriloquism dummy?

- Oh, well, that's not
important. It's an inside joke.

- A nickname perhaps.

- Absolutely not. Insight check.

- [Lou] Insight check?
- Yeah.

Versus Andhera and Rue's deception.

- Oh no.
- Oh no.

- [Omar] Oh, oh great-
- Natural 20.

- Yes!
- Come on.

(Brennan cheers)
- [Aabria] Yes!

- That was a nat one, baby!
(cast laughing)

- That was a 14.
- [Lou] Oh, okay.

- Oh my God, yeah.

- That's just a joke between
us about a tailoring shop

somewhere in the fringes
of the Seafoam Court.

- What the fuck?
(cast laughing)

- (laughs boisterously)
That is a nat one, though.

That is a nat one.
- [Aabria] Yeah.

- Oh, is that somewhere that
BINX likes to spend time?

I mean, a tailor shop is probably
filled with knick-knacks.

- But I mean, well, it's
not just BINX, it's me-

(Omar clears throat warningly)
Andhera and Captain Hob.

- Oh, the four of you just gather there.

What's brought the four of you together?

What sort of interactions
or discussions do you have?

- Yeah, what could possibly
have brought you together?

- Well, it's a bit complicated.

- Croquet, chess?
- I don't, no.

Tell me to stop talking, please!

- [Omar] Overthrowing the courts.

- Rue, Rue, Rue, Rue, Rue, Rue.

- [Emily] Rue, Rue, Rue,
Rue, Rue. Eyes on me, Rue.

Eyes on me. Keep going, keep going.

- [Aabria] Hold on, did
you guys catch that?

- No, they didn't!
- No, they didn't!

They did not!
- Shush, leave, no.

Andhera did just spill
that they're planning

to overthrow the courts.

It just got lost in the mix.
- [Lou] Okay.

- That was a beautiful little drop.

- Oh, you're, um, you're uh...

- Uh, ooh.
- At this moment BINX

in the background of
everything she's just like,

walking back casually eating
muffins and not noticing.

- So-
- You, you shan't tell.

(Oscar stammers)

- Honestly, it just would be kinda fun

to watch it go down so
I'm not opposed to it.

- Well actually, I was
wondering if you two

might actually want to
be somewhat involved.

- I mean, you don't belong to a court.

- No, we do not.
- And as many are-

- And know it is our
intention to stay independent.

Which is not to say I won't work with you.

I'm saying that no, we are
not trying to become a court.

Was that not clear? Was that not clear?

(cast laughing)
Was that not clear?

- And literally you did
cut me the first time.

- Good, remember how it feels.
- Lay on Hands.

It's just, look, there's
a lot going on right now.

- [Surena] Uh...

- BINX, heard you're-

- Hi?
- [Emily] Hi, BINX.

- Hey, hey, what's happening

in the middle of the field here?

- This is not a good place
to have this conversation.

- Yes, how about us four friends

walk into Andhera's dormitory
to enjoy a cup of tea.

- Ooh, that sounds nice.
- [Emily] Let's.

- Can you imagine if we
bumped into Captain K. P. Hob?

- And as you all walk, we
move to Captain K. P. Hob.

Major Hob.
- Major Hob.

- Where were you headed post
meeting at the tailor shop?

- I'm headed to the Seelie court

to make rendezvous with the Lady Sylmenar.

- Oh no.
- Oh...

- And you make your way out
to the sun-dappled meadow

where they spend their days.

They also have apartments in a situation

inside the palace, but
they all tend to bask

and revel in the sunshine from
dawn to dusk in this place.

But before you're able to reach it,

a shadow crosses your path.

- [Lou] Ooh.
(Surena groans anxiously)

- And Prince Apollo makes
himself known to you.

- Oh.
- Double ooh.

- How in public are we right now?

- Not very.

- Huh.

(players sigh)
(tense music)

- [Omar] Shit.

- Your Highness.
- Captain.

- Major, I'm afraid.
- Major.

- To what do I owe the
pleasure of your company

striding as I am about my business?

- (sighs) You and I

have business to deal with.

And I don't have the time or inclination

to make this official.

So why don't we handle this so
I can move on with my Bloom?

- Hm.

- And he begins to pull out a sword.

(Omar gasps)

And that's where we're gonna end.

- Oh!
(Brennan screaming)

- [Oscar] Oh no.
- Wha?

(Lou shouts)

- That was chapter eight of
"A Court of Fey & Flowers."

Please join us next time
for chapter nine of ACoFaF

as shit gets real.

(cast shouts excitedly)

- Look, I've been shot.

- What?
- By who?

- You are going to place a bet

against yourself in the wager?

- Uh, yes, yes, yes.
(players laughing)

- Gorebladder, you're
being promoted to captain.

- The first captain in my family.

- Does he love me more
than he loves being major?

- You're crazy, you're crazy!
- Cousin, I'm going in

with an open mind, I'm
going in with an open mind!

- All the Bloom is for
listening to my penis!

(Lou screams in pain)
(cast laughing)

- Come on. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

- [Brennan] Gorebladder!

- Is it the worst if he eats it?

What if it's in his stomach?

- Oh, that's true. You can eat it.

- I can Lay on Hands again.

- Just hold me. Just fucking hold me.

Just fucking hold me.
- Oh, oh, oh, uh...

- This is lighting to kill you by.

- You look really good in it, though.

- Oh my God, thank you.

- Prince Apollo, you and
Suntar once entrusted us

with a rather delicious secret,

and I guess this is
one we offer in return.

Yes, that's right, you're sitting next to,

and I slide my hand up onto
his thigh, the Airry Pearry.

(no audio)

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