Dimension 20 (2018-…): Season 15, Episode 6 - Of One Mind - full transcript

Hob seeks to uncover the truth. Chirp reveals a secret. BINX attempts to forge a connection.

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(elegant classical music)

- To the churlish Captain K.P. Hob,

venerated soldier of the Goblin Court.

To the Master of Ceremonies,
Delloso de la Rue,

pride of the Court of Wonder.

To Binx Choppley, sole
survivor of the Court of Craft.

To the tenebrous Prince Andhera,

scion of the Unseelie Court.

And to the notorious Lords of the Wing,

Lady Chirp Featherfowl,
Countess of Cluckingham,

and Lord Squak Airavis,
Earl of Peckersberg.

Honored archfey, we are
delighted to welcome you

to "A Court of Fey & Flowers".

Greetings, and welcome

to Dimension 20's "A
Court of Fey & Flowers".

I am your Dungeon Master, Aabria Iyengar,

and with me in labyrinthine
chaos are my pack of pixies

Say hi, pack of pixies!
- Hi, pack of pixies!

- In our last chapter, a
semi-sentient hedge maze

revealed myriad secrets to the group.

We got the big reveal
of Binx's true identiy,

got Rue and Binx partnered
up to move through the maze,

our delightful cousins of wing and air,

I don't know what that is.

- Mm-hm!
- Sowed some delicious chaos

both within the maze and without.

Captain Hob made the heartbreaking choice

to pursue duty over
his heart, and Andhera,

after very artfully removing his sister

from the competition, made a way for Binx

to win the Crystal Heart
and establish her place

within the court and the Bloom itself.

- Hand. Touched hand.
- And there's a hand touch.

- Naked hands.
- Naked, nude hands.

(all talking over each other)

- Which is, you know, Regency fucking.

- Honestly, kind of raw and nasty.

I don't want to see that kind
of energy in this episode.

So before we begin this chapter proper,

we have some housekeeping to do.

Three of our lovely players have dinged

a positive reputation condition now,

so we're going to go around
and talk about what new epithet

our high society here is
now chasing with your name.

Let's go ahead and start
with Omar and Andhera.

- Ooh, I would like to say

as folks observed, Andhera

on the steed racing through very quickly

and riding with perfect posture,

either statute or statuesque.

- Ooh.
- Thank you.

- That's great.

- Those chiseled muscles help too, yes.

- [Aabria] We love that.

- You all saw them during the duel.

- The one you lost?

When you were being held by the
chonies in the rain? That's fine.

- Sorry, I didn't hear that last part.

- What? Nothing, you're good.
- So odd.

- Weird. What about you, Captain Hob?

- The major success Captain
Hob has had at the Bloom

was the victory in that duel,
so I think it stands to reason

even as his star has continued to rise,

that was the big pinnacle of it, I think.

The epithet shall be formidable.

- Ooh!
- That's great.

- Yes.
- Yes.

- And last but not least, Rue.

- After Rue's showing of self,

the word around the court

is that we are now seeing true Rue,

or Rue the True.

- Mm.
- I love that.

- Rue the True!
- It rhymes.

- True is so, oh yeah,
that's right in that, like,

small word with such a
pulse of energy around it.

That's great, so with that taken care of,

we move into the next phase of play...


- Mm!
- Rumors.

- S-P-I-C-Y!
- Rumor has it.

- Remember, there's a
couple that are floating.

I'll give you a quick reminder.

Captain Hob was seen courting Gwyn

to try and salvage to alliance.

The Lords of the Wing can't
fight for shit without help.

That was elevated

to a scandalous sort of
talk around the society.

The Sea Foam Court believes
that the Court of Wonder

is taking disproportionate
credit for the Bloom's success.

We have that Theodore,

our lovely friend from the
Court of Hoof and Claw,

caught feelings, and Squak
let them down very gently.

We have another scandal that
Andhera's combat prowess

is lacking, especially in matters of war,

and a scandal that somehow this Bloom

somehow or someway is the
last Bloom of its type,

or just the last Bloom.

We don't really know why.

And finally, we have one more
sort of rumor in the streets

that Andhera was brought to the Bloom

by force, against his will.

So, for what it's worth,
if no one reinvests energy

in those rumors, they will
begin to fade, so as ever,

you have the option to
put a new rumor into play,

scandalize a rumor by affirming
it and heightening it,

or keep an old rumor alive

by sort of just putting
more energy back into it.

So let's go reverse order
and start with Surena.

- Mm.
- Ooh, okay, so I-

- I feel things quietly and gutturally.

- Ooh, I like it. That note!

- Let my throat do what it do.

- With you feeling things.
- Yes!

- I feel like because you were so active

in Apollo's side in the maze,

I feel like it's definitely a rumor

that you were actively courting Apollo.

- Ooh!
- Yes.

- I love that.
- Yes yes yes yes yes.

- Now, would Binx have either initiated

or been a part of the
spreading of that rumor?

- Ooh, interesting, I feel
like the way that Binx talks

is super plain.
- Mm-hm.

- And so I wonder if it was a conversation

that she and Rue had been
having, and noticing it,

and maybe because Rue has
hushed tones and other things,

maybe in a large joke

or something louder than whisper,

Binx said something.
- Amazing. Okay, Oscar.

- I want to start a rumor which started

right before the hedge maze event

that your one and only iconic Grabalba

just wants to get with any archfey.

She's a bit of a floozy, that one.

- Oh!

- She was caught being surrounded by-

- These big old fuzzy ears better not hear

any fucking word of that,

or it's hands on - not sight, but sound.

- Amazing, and as ever,
did Rue have any hands

in the generation or
dissemination of this rumor?

- Rue is not...

They're not about that.

We all saw what we saw.
- Saw what we saw.

- Amazing.
- We got eyes.

We all saw what we saw.
- Amazing!

- All got eyes.
- That's so fucked up.

I love that.

Okay, what you got for me, Lou?

- I'm gonna say that
there is a lot of talk

about Rue and the Court of Craft

and the fact that the two of them, I mean,

everyone watched them appear
in the hedge maze together,

so I think I'm gonna have
it help scandalize the rumor

that's already in the
mix of the Sea Foam Court

being undermined, that
this is yet another play

by the Court of Wonder
to make this their event.

- Oh yeah.
- Okay!

- I love you.

- To bring the last member of
a forlorn court to this event.

- So dramatic, taking up.

- One more punching down
on the Court of Sea Foam.

- And who started that rumor?
- I don't know.

(Whispering) It was me.
(players laughing)

- Is that true?
- Yeah, why not? 100%.

- And you're like, tell them it was me?

- No, I don't think I was
like, tell them it was me.

- Okay.
- But I think

as we exited the hedge maze,
there was just a lot of, wow.

- Here.
- Oh, there it is!

- We love--

- I like all of my shiny things.

- You got the, like-
- I feel very much

like one of those birds
that Brennan will name now

that really enjoys sparkly things.

- Magpie.
- Magpie.

- Magpies and also bowerbirds.
- There it is.

- [Aabria] I've never
heard of a bowerbird.

- You take your pick, which one am I?

Am I a magpie or a bowerbird?
- Bowerbirds like

a lot of different textures
and qualities of light.

- Then let's go magpie.

- You heard textures are
an option and went, no.

- No. Too much, too much.

- Incredible. Yeah, Emily.

- I think I feel good with
my rumors I started before.

I definitely like what Lou just said,

so anything I can do to amp that up.

- Amazing.
- Yeah.

- It is currently at a scandal.

If at any point during this phase

you can think of a way
to make it just a little-

- Can I use it just to really spread it

amongst the Sea Foam Court,

just to really get it under
the Sea Foam Court's skin?

- Absolutely.
- Ooh, they're seething.

- I love that you've gone out of your way

to make sure the people
that would be most proactive

about doing something about the scandal

are absolutely getting it
in their ear the whole time.

That's perfect.
- Yeah.

- [Aabria] Okay, Brennan.

- So this is the first rumor phrase

we've had since the duel.
- Yeah.

- So the fallout from the duel,

and I think this rumor
was actually going on

at the beach and during the hedge maze,

post Hob's statement

of after the duel, kind
of saying, like, hey,

without saying it definitively,

the Viscountess Grabalba's rejections

of a proposal of marriage should
be respected in the future,

and saying that at a moment
where Rue had challenged me,

or Rue's assistant in their
honor challenged me to a duel,

Blemish and Boil have been hard
at work spreading the rumor,

and I'm gonna bump it all
the way up to a scandal.

- Okay.
- Which is,

sensing that the cat's out of the bag

in terms of the engagement
being called off,

that we can't put that
toothpaste back in the tube,

it's too juicy, the rumor
erupts into a scandal

that the Prince Apollo
did call off the marriage

because his dear friend

and fellow member of the
Court of Wonder, Rue,

was so desperately in love
with the Viscountess Grabalba

that they wanted to propose,

and so it is a way to accommodate

what people are already saying,

which is that the Court
of Wonder called it off,

but to make it rather than a
judgment on the Goblin Court,

it is instead doubly shameful

for both Prince Apollo
to have called it off,

and to do so because Delloso de la Rue

was so desperately, madly in
love with the viscountess.

- Nasty, nasty!

- That's crazy.
- Yeah!

- How are you ever gonna...

Oh my god!

- Incredible, and Hob is a part

of the dissemination of that rumor?

- No. No, Hob is not.

Hob has been-
- Coward.

- Coward! Coward.
- Throwing a bomb out there

and putting it in someone else's hand.

- So Blemish and Boil are
absolutely responsible for this,

but how soon

into its sort of osmosis into talk

did Hob learn about this?

- Hob doesn't need to take
more responsibility for this.

He's the one who said
the thing at the duel.

The genesis of this,

that Rue proposed marriage to
Grabalba, that was from him.

He doesn't need to put
more gas on the fire.

He started the fire. He lets
the goblins that talk do it.

He was the one who kicked this snowball

down the hill, you know?

He's not going to take any part in it

after that initial show.

- Amazing, love it.
(paper tearing)

Okay, Omar.

Hold on, how'd you do
with that tear, paper boy?

- Bad!

(all talking over each other)

- Paper shark!
- Like a shark dorsal fin.

It's like a "Jaws" kind of...

- You keep tearing half
of them, it's amazing.

- Number one, number two.

- [Emily] They're getting smaller!

- Yeah, wellI just like
to think I thinned out.

This one does CrossFit
and this one does not.

- Ooh, okay.
- I see, I see.

- One's bulking, one's cutting.

- It's a functional strength.
- This one's cutting.

Because I heard there's a ball coming up.

- Ooh, and right, there is.

- Okay, so we get two rumors,

and we also get to try
to eliminate a rumor

if we burn one of our
pieces, is that right?

- Yeah, we'll come back
around and do that, too.

- Okay, I'm going to address a rumor

whether I can burn it later or not.

We'll figure it out in
a second, I suppose.

When I stepped away in
episode four from our table

and I was affecting Wannessa
in terms of the, you know.

- Yeah.
- Can she be charmed,

can she not be charmed.

I would like for that to be the moment

that I go to just spread some rumors.

- Love that.

- I'm pulled away when
I hear people talking

about the duel that happened
between Captain Hob and myself,

and when I step away, I would like to say

something to the effect of, like,

I heard you speaking about the occurrence

between me and the captain.

I'm afraid the actual dramatic events

are much less dramatic in
actuality, and the captain himself

is a paragon of gentlemanly
warfare conduct,

and the reason that even occurred

is because he was following
the rules of warfare itself.

And then in that conversation,

I would like to plant two rumors.

- Okay.

- One of which is that, in fact,

I would say everyone is
speaking about how badly

we treat the Goblin Court
in terms of our proceedings

towards them, that we say things

like they eat their own refuse

and they indulge in
their highest interests.

but who amongst us-? and
I would point to someone

who makes plants happen
that's eating a salad,

or someone who represents small creatures

is eating a snail or something.

- [Aabria] Yeah.
- Who amongst us

couldn't say the same of ourselves?

And are we not here at the Bloom

to do the same thing
as the Goblin Court is?

So anyone mistreating
the goblins, I think,

are going to come into some
very unfortunate light,

if I'm being quite honest.

And I'll use that to slide
into my second rumor,

which is, it makes sense,
why not would my mother,

the Queen of Air and
Darkness, send me here

specifically to get the ear of one

Viscountess Graba-...

But I've said too much. (chuckles)

- Oh!
- Would you excuse me?

I wouldn't want to tip everyone's horns

towards the true diamond
of the crown jewel

that is this event, so
if you'll excuse me.

And I leave that table, having
planted those two rumors.

- [Aabria] Amazing.

- Then I come back a couple seconds later,

as I did with Wannessa,
shifting in and out,

and I'm just like, oh
shit, I forgot my wallet.

I'm so sorry. Let me grab that.

If I was caught at the bar, I'd be fucked.

And now I'm back. Great.
- Amazing.

- So those are the two that I plant.

- Okay, I would love to elevate

the rumor about Squak

actively courting Prince Apollo.

It's now a scandal, in
the best possible way.

- I was thinking of doing that one, too.

- Yeah.

- I was like, this works for us.

- Everyone's that got
money on the original bet

from the very first chapter
is now seeing and hoping

and mapping a lot of intention

and progress onto this,

and everyone is sort of
watching Lord Airavis

with bated breath.

- What's he gonna do?
- I don't know.

Maybe I'll have sex with the prince.

- Love! It's love!
- Oh wait, that's right.

- It's love.

- We only have five episodes
left for this wager.

Tick tock, tick tock.

- Please, I can fall
in love in an episode.

Oh shit, do we like some of the same shit?

Okay, maybe I love you.

- What a bleak outlook on love.

- This is so convenient.
We're in our thirties.

- Give me 120 minutes, done.

- Hey, if we moved in together,
our rent would be $450 each.

- And I love a deal.

- Ow, it hurts us. Mm-mm.

Okay, so now is the opportunity.

You have the rumors out on the board.

They're beginning to be spread.

If you would like to kill any of them,

it will cost you a token to do so.

Is there anything you want gone?

- Ooh.
- What?

- Over our cups in the
goblin pagoda on an evening

where we have invited all
of the other courts to come,

where we will be on our
best goblin behavior

to make a massive bonfire
and drink blood wine

and make merry, Captain Hob holds court,

sharing many war stories

of the Prince Andhera's
incredible prowess in battle.

- Oh my gosh!
- Aw!

- And opines in matters martial
and military that, in fact,

to have dodged his first
strike in the wrestling match

is a feat that few
others here could boast,

and many of the salt
goblins, deep in their cups,

sing a very mocking,

sing-song ballad

about an unnamed fairy
princess who was trapped

on the back of a horse by a clever prince

and sent riding over the hills.

- That's so good!
- Oh, yay!

- Beautifully done.

So with that said, the rumors are handled,

the state is declared,
and now we open it up,

as we love to do, with
an epistolary phase.

Letters, my friends.

If anyone is ready to go, please jump in.

If not, I am happy to begin.

(Brennan gasps)

- You have one?
- Of course I do.

- Oh.
- Oh.

- All right, so, a note

with a gift

is delivered to the goblin pagoda

by a being that looks
sort of roughly humanoid,

devoid of really any sort
of specific features.

It seems to be made of wet sand,

and at all points of
interaction or articulation,

sort of falls away to the ground

and is regenerated as they walk,

carrying a two foot wide clamshell

of ivory,

and that very specific red

of the sky that sailors
fear in the morning

before a storm comes in,

and they come to you and
present you with a clam

and the accompanying note
has a story written in it

about a mortal mother

who warns her three children

to not go out on a thin veil night,

lest they be swept up

by the workings of the fey,
and they go out regardless,

and find a beautiful, dark pony,

and the moment they mount it,
the pony breaks for the ocean

and throws itself into the sea

and neighs and whinnies happily
as the children are drowned,

and this story

of a moment of trickster glory

between those of sea foam
and those that are goblin

is heralded and remembered
by the Sea Foam Court

as this clamshell contains

a pile of refuse, of notes,

drafts of things delivered,

thrown away notes that were received,

and just anything that the Sea Foam Court

would think to be of
interest to Captain Hob.

- I pen a quick response to return,

as I stand there to the
messenger, that says,

to the honorable bearers of this gift,

my gratitude knows no bounds,

and my thanks are given
to you freely and gladly.

We kneel in deference to this,

the most glorious Bloom we have attended,

which is, in all of its magnificence,

a testament solely to the
honor of the Sea Foam Court.

- Nicely done, and this wet sand being

takes your response away,

walking slowly back to
whoever their master is.

The note was unsigned,

but you know it was from someone high up.

- K.P. leaves his one unsigned as well.

- Love it.
- Wow.

- I'm gonna put the story in my own,

take the story and keep that separate,

put the clam with any of the
other papers we have gathered,

which, it's my nearest intention
after the epistolary phase

to dive into all of that.

- Amazing, cool. Anyone else got a letter?

- Sure.

This one, all letters
written by Squak from now on

will be written in illusory script.

- Ooh.

- Anyone who they are not addressed to,

it says I'm thanking them
for a book recommendation.

- Yes!
- Perfect.

Can I fabricate a fake Squak
reading a book in our window?

- [Aabria] He just loves loves reading!

- This one's called "The Green Hunter".

Come up with a cover.
- Okay, cousin.

- Make it green or something.
- So mature, so mature.

- He's been reading a
book the whole Bloom?

- It's a turn-pager.
- This one will be sent

in daylight, no pretense
that there would be

anything wrong with this
letter, to the Baroness Alven.

(Brennan gasps)

Courtly procedures
continue to keep us apart,

so words must suffice for
now, but despite the whispers

of the court, my heart pines for you.

So as the days of the Bloom
grow long, I yearn for the day

at which point our love will become known.

Like the ever-present tides,
my desire and affection for you

continues to rise
undeterred by any obstacle

and align with the
foundations of the cosmos.

You've clipped the wings of my heart,

and it rests eternally in your cage.

(Aabria squeaks)

With love,

(all moaning)

- Oh my god.

- Do you mind if I read a
second letter, just real quick?

- Yeah, please do.

- This one is to Theodore.
- Yes.

- At the Court of Hoof and Claw.

Theodore, it's come to my attention

that, of my courtly talents,

I'm rather lacking with regard
to the matters of the hunt.

You'd do me a great honor in providing me

with a hands-on, rough
and tumble hunting lesson

at sunrise each day.

Of course, your continued
discretion is greatly appreciated.

- Oh my-
- I've recently learned

that every hart needs its hind,

and I'm happy to play the part.

(Aabria shrieks)

Pleasurably, Squak.

- Pleasurably?
- Oh my god!

- Oh no, so messy.
- So messy!

- So messy.
- Messy, messy.

- I love it, and you.


- So good.
- Yes.

- This is a quick one that goes out

the night after the hedge maze.

Dead of night, not magically
disguised by any means,

but very clandestine.

We send one of our best
and sneakiest goblins

to go deliver this.

This is a letter to Lord Airavis.

- Ooh.
- Ooh.

- I don't take it! No.
- Reading a book.

- To Lord Airavis, Earl of Peckersberg.

Memory falters as it stumbles
through the fog of war,

so perhaps it is in error that
I recall your clarion voice

make reference to a vicious rumor

regarding a matter of intended matrimony.

Did you speak this in jest,

or were these words honest reflections

of your earnest, though
mistaken, understanding?

The question of goblin honor

shall always warrant my swiftest response.

Your humble servant, Captain K.P. Hob.

- [Oscar] You got him mad.
- You got humble servant-ed!

- He's so mad! He's pissed!
- Oh my god.

- Cousin, you will not believe
who I just got a letter from.

- Hold on, I'm making you turn pages.

An impression of you.

Hold your posture, please.

- Yes, of course.
- I was getting

a really good profile of you reading.

- Yes, how about that? Is that good?

- Oh yes, that's good.
- Okay, great.

- I'm giving you a little pec pop

every time you turn the page.

- Oh good, good. A little
bit of this, like that?

What's a pec pop?

Oh, okay. Oh, pectorals.
- Pectoral, not peck.

- Sorry, you know I'm always
thinking of Grandfather,

so I thought, maybe.
- R sky P.

- R sky, yes, there you are.

I just got the most fascinating
letter from K.P. Hob.

- Yes?
- He seems to be rather upset

at my misspeaking

during the hedge maze event.

- He's upset?
- He's upset.

- You mean upset like disturbed?

Like, ooh, a bee's in my
skirts and I like it, or upset-

- No, no.

Not the disturbed that we both most enjoy.

- I do. I love a fire up my skirt.

- It's the best, right?

Because it's like, where is
it, where is it, where is it?

- Where is it? Ooh!
- It's like two games in one.

One is the feeling, and then in addition,

it's like, when I find it.
- Ooh, every time it lands.

Ooh, ooh! Ooh, ooh!
- Where will he go next?

- Okay, sorry.

- Anyway, no, he seems to be very mad.

There's, like, a bunch
of stuff about honor

and all of these sorts of things.

- But he signs it, your humble servant.

- Well, of course, because he is lowborn.

- Oh my god!
- Cousin!

- He knows to whom he speaks.
- For a bird, you have teeth!

- Then call me a goose.
I think those ones...

- You're right, they have
truly an insane mouth of teeth!

- Those are the ones,
they got lines of teeth!

What the fuck was Grandfather
thinking when he did that?

- Grandfather was in a mood
when he came up with geese.

- Of course.

- That's very interesting.
- Yes.

- I mean, do we further upset
him? Or perhaps is he...

Well okay, cousin,
actually this is very good,

because I want to know,

what do you see happening with Apollo?

Do you see it happening?

- It could, but I don't even know

if I would be attracted
to Apollo or just the fact

that everyone is talking about the fact

that I'm attracted to Apollo, you know?

I'm not sure I could
separate where the love is,

if it's for him or just the
idea that to be with him

means that every eye
of this court is on me.

- Cousin, based on the
way you just said it.

- Yes.
- It's the latter.

It's the latter.
- Well, I think we both knew.

- Okay, because we have this
wager for us to fall in love.

- Yes, I know.
- So I want to know,

should I be helping
you with this endeavor?

- I don't know.
- Okay, okay.

You just need time to find out.

- I think so. I think, you know what?

I'm just going to apologize.

Let's not make this the thing.

You know, I'm happy to upset K.P. Hob,

but I don't think this is the moment.

- Okay, okay.
- Yes.

- Actually, while you're here,

would you write an illusory script for me?

- Of course, you know I'm ambidextrous.

I take my right hand.

- [Aabria] Are you dual
wielding quills right now?

- Go ahead.
- I'll just say what it is.

I'm going to summon Flock of Familiars

to summon a bunch of salt goblins,

and then I'm going to write a note

in one of the goblin's hands that's to Rue

that's just kind of like,

thank you for a lovely
hedge maze, it was so fun.

But then the illusory script
will be from me, just saying,

dearest Rue, it is I,

Lady Featherfowl.

I know it is unusual to introduce yourself

in the first letter, in the
first sentence of a letter,

and yet, here we are.

Sorry, this is illusory
script and you can't erase it.

It's such a curse.

I wonder if you would meet me

to discuss some addendums to our wager.

Sincerely, Lady Featherfowl,
if it wasn't clear.

And then I send it, but I send it

so it looks like it's coming
from the Goblin Court.

- Love it. Can I get a deception check?

I'll give you advantage because
you've spent good magic.

- I am a forger, yeah yeah,
so I think advantage, okay.

- Yeah.

- 22.
- Oh yeah.

You can even kind of
hear the pulse of rumors

as, like, what are the goblins sending

to the Court of Wonder, ooh?

It's absolutely maintained

the illusion of that, that's great.

- What letter were you going to write?

- Oh, I think my response
to Hob is short and sweet.

It's something to the extent
of, to the formidable Hob!

I deeply apologize for my misspeaking.

The heat of the moment
caught me in a tizzy,

and I was unable to find the correct words

in which to describe the most...

If I described the viscountess as nasty,

would that be a compliment or a bad thing?

- Actually, nasty or beautiful,

we take it all as compliments.
- Similar, honestly.

- Your nastiest and most
beautiful viscountess.

If there is anything the
Lords of the Wing can do

to make amends, let it be
known to me or my cousin.

Yours in flight, Lords Squak Airavis.

- Can I sign it too?
- Of course.

- And that's in illusory script again,

but just reads as a book review.

- A book review?
- Yes, a review.

- My thoughts on "The Green Hunter".

- Here's why.

- And it's scathing. One star.
- Oh no!

- The Lord Airavis's Letterboxd
is absolutely ruthless.

- Everything has one star, except...

- Amazing.

- I have two letters.
- Yes.

- One is very short and is
not warranting a response.

- Okay.
- Oh.

- It's right after the hedge maze.

Gwyndolin, or Binx, oh my god,

Binx is in her little hovel, essentially,

and she's pacing.

She's like, I said it.
I said the thing, right?

- Wait, question.
- Yes.

- Where is Binx staying?

- You know, where all
of the fey are staying,

the main boarding place, right?

Is there a place like that?

- The main palace is where
most of the archfey are staying

unless they brought
their own accommodations,

like the goblin pagoda or the nest.

- Binx, given liminal
spaces and all of that,

she's in the castle,

but she has sort of created a void space

for herself that is under a radiator.

- Okay.
- So it's a place

that nobody thinks about or notices,

and in that liminal space,
she just has all of her shit.

- I love it.
- She has her curios.

It looks like an antique
store in her house.

- Amazing.
- Yeah.

- Okay, sorry, that was great. Continue.

- Yes, so she's pacing,

and she goes through

this large barrel she has of
various fruits and vegetables,

and she finds another black apple,

and it is this deep,
inky, inky onyx color.

She looks at it, and
it is the finest fruit

she owns,

and on the stem of the apple, she scrawls,

thank you for seeing me.

Puts it, ties it with that,
and in the dead of night,

it is nighttime, because Binx
doesn't have any attendants.

- Yeah.

- So Binx creeps to where you were.

- Mm-hm.

- So, creeps to, where is Andhera staying?

- I think in just a different wing.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- So, sneaks through the
hallways of this wing,

clutching this apple.

- I'm gonna need a stealth check.

- Uh-huh.

(dice clattering)

Fuck me.

- Because my man-faced dog
sleeps outside my door.

- Yeah.
- 12.

- Oh, grandpa's here. Grandpa dog.

- Grandpa dog!
- Oh, grandpa dog.

- Okay, a 12. You make your way.

- Okay, so.
- What?

- It's not great. Not great for me.

Yeah, so I creep to
where I believe you are.

- Mm-hm.
- I set it down.

- Grandpa dog for sure comes up.

- Oh yeah.

- What does he do when he sees?

I don't know how much
you and grandpa dog talk.

- I speak around grandpa dog quite often.

Not necessarily to
grandpa dog a whole lot.

- Mm-hm.
- I believe the only word

that grandpa dog has uttered
thus far is the word shit.

- That sounds right.
- And, very quietly, kill me.

- Enough of that, grandpa dog.

- Then as you approach,

grandpa dog is going to sort of raise up

out of the darkness, and you
see just tiny red points,

like light reflecting off
of the back of his eyes,

but there is no light in this room

as he stalks towards you,
growling and baring his teeth.

- The things I know about dogs
are from the mortal realm,

and I'm going to submit.

So I'm going to crouch down,

reach into my bag, throw some food,

and then flop to my stomach.

Because that's how dogs, I, yes.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- Give me an animal handling check.

I'll let you know, you have to beat an 11.

- 11. Ooh!

11 exactly.

- Meets it beats it.
- Okay.

- Yeah, so he's stalking towards you.

- I have jerky.

- And you throw the
jerky, and he ignores it,

because he's got old man
teeth and he needs soft food.

- Pudding? Do I have
pudding in this moment?

- Pudding?
- Not chocolate pudding.

- The moment you flop onto your back,

he grows silent and kind
of pads over to you,

and then just sort of
lays down next to you

and rests his chin on the
ground, just looking at you.

- Hey, buddy.

You're a good boy.

You're a good boy.

I'm gonna try to wiggle.

I'm on my back still,

but I'm trying to wiggle
closer to the door.

- Yeah, he's gonna allow it.
- Okay.

You're so cute. You're just a...

- Thanks.

- I was not expecting it
to talk. Ew, I hate it!

- It's not good.

It's not good when he chooses to do it.

- Sets down the apple. That's a present.

That's a present.

You cool?

- Just gives a little snort.

- I'm just gonna...

Because I don't know.
- Yeah.

- I don't know if it's gonna come for me.

- Yeah, if you are careful,

he will allow you to leave
without really remarking.

He kind of looks over at the apple,

looks down at the jerky next
to him, and then just returns

his chin to his hands
and continues his watch.

- Good. Thanks, great.

- This is good.

- The next is a letter letter,

and it says,

dear Hob, we must meet,

as I believe we may have
more in common than you know.

Meet me at the abandoned tailor's

just outside the reach of the Bloom.

And it's signed Gwyn.

- Ooh.
- Yeah.

- I look at this.

How did this come to
the goblin encampment?

- Yeah.
- Oh boy.

So, because I have no one.
- You have no attendants.

- I have no attendants, I come as Binx.

- Copy that.

So I think I just have
this response from Squak,

and I'm glowering at it.

Not pleased by this response.

But I'll step out of my
tent and look over, go,

ah, Ms. Choppley.

- Yep, that's me.

- Congratulations on your
victory slash appearance,

slash entrance,

slash notification of
the status of your...

- Notification, really.

We're found, not lost.

So, I'm gonna go, if...

- Long arm.

I'll make sure this gets
into the right hands.

- Thank you. Looking forward to it, and...

- It being?

- The times we will talk later.

- If such occasions should arise,

then I look forward to
engaging in them in a manner

consistent with societal expectation

and the utmost carrying out of my orders

in a manner most honoring
of the Goblin Court.

Thank you, Ms. Choppley.

- I do need you to know

that this very stoic and curt response

is silhouetted by a bunch of goblins

just having a full trash
orgy feet away from him.

- Never mind the smell.

My people are engaged in
an important Bloom ritual.

I also enjoy what they're doing.

- That, right there?

- I can hear what it is from-

- Shrieks. Mm-hm.

- They only scream like that

when they're doing that
in that specific place.

- Got it, got it, got
it. Copy, copy, copy.

You're really cool.

Like, just like really cool.

Like, do you know how cool you are?

- My eyes well up with tears.

- No, it's fine, no, just read the letter!

And I'm gonna go.

- You yell in that tone
of voice, and I go...

(Brennan yelps)

And I salute!

I'm going to go read the letter
in my tent and go... (gasps)

And eat it.
- Amazing.

- And I guess I'm gonna
run to the tailor's.

- Yeah.
- As Binx. What the fuck?

What did I do?

- Okay, as you're kind of hauling ass

across this tidal island to get there-

- I think the new one

from the Court of Craft is just sprinting.

- How lovely. She seems really nice.

- And fit.
- Yes.

- A couple birds follow, because
they're also just like...

(Aabria cooing)

And take off, stalking you.

You get a little buzz at
the base of your spine

as a Sending spell reaches you.

- Hm.
- Binx!

I hope you're well.

Of all the things I miss from home,

attending the Bloom with
my sister is foremost.

Another gate has been...

And it gets cut off.

And then as you keep running,
two minutes later, you get,

"Dammit! 25 words."

The mirror pool's portal's
now sealed. What can be done?

Anyway, Scratch sends his best

and asks for more invocations.

Love, Gwyondolin.

- Hm.
- Interesting.

- My god, and I am doing
so many things right now.

- Oh, what, overwhelming?

Could you imagine?
- Oh my god, it's great.

As Binx is running to the tailor's,

because it is very far
outside of the Bloom

and they have to get there
because they don't know

how fast Hob is and doesn't know if Hob

is gonna get there first and be alone,

so in their haste, they're
writing this letter

back to Gwyndolin as
they're running and it says,

Dear Gwyndolin, things have changed

in that we might not have as much time

as we had normally anticipated.

However, I have obtained the Crystal Heart

in the name of the Court of Craft.

This bodes well.

Please let Scratch know

that he needs more experience

for me to give him anything else.

But I hope to have better news

about the portal soon.

I take my wing, and my
wing is sort of like,

when I open it, it's very,
it looks sort of like light

shining through a dark place.

She puts this letter into
her wing, and it vanishes.

- Amazing, and you keep running.

- Mm-hm.
- Okay.

Rue, do you have a letter?
- Yes.

Dearest Wave Master.

May this letter find you
in good health and spirit.

My deepest congratulations for hosting

a very successful Bloom so far,

and utmost gratitude for
allowing me to continue

conjuring up delicious events
for our archfey friends.

Many of the events that unfolded thus far

was thanks to my and Wuvvy's planning,

but like the best events,
some of them have been

a surprise for all of
us, to say the least.

I am curious to know how
you, the Wave Master,

and the rest of the Sea Foam
Court feel about the Bloom

so far, and if you had
any notes moving forward.

I take my job very
seriously, and want you all

to feel satisfied on how this
event has turned out so far.

May I suggest a caucus between you, me,

and a small collection of
archfey of the Sea Foam Court?

And may I further suggest

inviting Ephendra, Alven, and Sorwen?

They hold much standing in the court,

and I would love to get
their input as well.

I am well aware that there's
a lot of tittering about.

- Tittering!

- Taking the credit and so
forth in regards to the Bloom,

but I would like to quell

this vicious rumor into nonexistence.

With love, Delloso de la Rue.

(Omar gasps)

If it is quite all right with you,

I would love to see Wannessa

make an appearance at
our potential meeting.

- Ooh.
- Wannessa.

- Ooh.

- I love, give me a persuasion
check with advantage.

- That's a 21.
- Mm!

- You get a response delivered

by that same sort of wet sand humanoid,

and it is a beautiful,

perfectly round, half inch wide pearl

and a glass of vinegar, and
this being walks up to you,

gives a little bit of a curtsy.

- I return the curtsy, as well.

- And drops the pearl into the vinegar,

and as it dissolves, you hear
the voice of the Wave Master.

It says, my darling Rue.

I can deny you nothing so kindly asked.

Thank you for your efforts on our behalf,

and to celebrate a Bloom we all share.

We would be happy to meet.

We have some internal
meetings and celebrations

that we hold dearly during
the Bloom, but if you can meet

when the crescent moon is high tonight,

all of us requested would love to have

whatever manner of
conversation you think we need

to reach a more amicable
set of celebrations.

Yours under the verdancy, Wave Master.

- I look at the ward and smile,
nod, say I will be there.

- And with that, they
sort of just dematerialize

into a pile of wet sand in
a mound in front of you.

Someone will around to
clean it up at some point.

- I don't want to throw it away.

- What do you do with a thank
you note, you know? Yeah.

- It's good for cleaning.
- Yeah.

- Amazing. Anyone else
got anything they want-

- I've got two little quick
ones, if that's all right.

- Yeah, let's go.
- Just quick little ones.

Timing is a little wibbly
wobbly, I understand,

but if I may.
- Of course.

- Binx slinking around.
- So secret.

- So secret, and severely unwarranted,

because at that exact same time,

Andhera is sneaking over
to see your corridor.

- [Aabria] Yay!

- And places down a letter
to be read at any time.

- Uh-huh.

- At your earliest convenience,

which says something to the effect of...

I really should write
these like all of you do.

Dear Binx, how appropriate it
is that we are on this island

during this particular event,

for seasides, for me,

have the most incredible small magic

I experience on a regular basis.

That is, of tide pools.

They are there always, but
it's only till the tide

has receded that you truly see the wonder

that has been there the entire time.

If you would like to speak
at any point about anything,

please know you have a
friend, and the time and place

are completely up to your
choosing, just let me know.

Signed, Prince Andhera.
- Ooh.

- And I quietly sneak back to my quarters.

I see the apple.

I haven't quite made the thing
'cause I'm a little sweaty,

and I'm just like, what
did you bring here?

Dog, what did you do? I
just quickly scoop it up.

No, don't come in! You're
not allowed in when I sleep.

Which I don't, I meditate,

but I just don't want this face near me.

- No, he definitely is
fiddling with the door

when you close it, but
in that way that, like,

if he had a thumb, this
would just be an old man.

- It's the menacing pet noise
of, like, I will get in,

and I won't forget this.
- Yeah, 100%.

- Oh god, why did I bring him?
- It's not good.

- And I go over to my desk, where I write

most of my letters, and I see
that I sent the wrong letter

for my second one, and I go, oh shit!

And as that's happening,

a letter is delivered over
to Lady Chirp Featherfowl.

- Oh!

- And that letter reads,

dear Lady Chirp Featherfowl.

Do you have a map?
Because I often get lost.

There's no punctuation.

- Cousin.
- Hm?

- I think pillar boy thinks
he's stringing me along.

- What? Like, romantically?
- Yes.

- Is that supposed to be
some kind of pickup line?

- Yes.
- oh.

- It feels, hm.


We knew pillar boy when he was a boy.

- Yes. A young boy, at that.
- A very shy one.

I don't know how to handle this.

- I mean, the kind thing to do would be-

- Is to let him think that
I'm deeply in love with him.

- No!
- All right.

I write him back a letter that says-

- Yeah!

- Dearest Andhera, your
letter finds me wanting.

- [Oscar] Oh my god.
- Not for your words,

but for your presence.

- This is good, cousin. This is good.

- However, it is in lack
that my passion grows.

Please, please keep teasing
me with your absence,

and know that in your withholding,

I yearn deeper and fierier
and with more passion.

Sincerely, Lady Featherfowl.

So sorry I didn't introduce
myself in the first sentence.

I know it's so confusing,

you have to wait till the very end.

And then I send it.

- The sexiest way to tell
someone, stay away from me.

Stay the fuck away from me.
- Avoid me at all costs.

- Hey, someone transcribe
that and send it to me

so I can keep that for the future.

- Oh my god.
- Oh my god.

- As it arrives to us, I am
just freaking out to Advisor.

It's supposed to say in your
eyes! I got lost in your eyes!

I've completely fucked this up!

And then we get the letter,
and then it reads to me,

I think Advisor hears the book
review, or recommendation.

- That's exactly what happens.

What's "The Green Hunter"?

I think I saw that in the library.

- Oh fuck, I might've made it worse.

- What are you talking about?

- I have no idea what I'm doing, Advisor.

I think I'm in it deep.

I think Lady Chirp's in love with me.

- You, okay.
- Oh boy.

- You have to tell me how you got there

from a fairly scathing
review of "The Green Hunter".

- This specific letter says
that the longer I stay away,

the more she burns for me.

I have to seek her out to let her know-

- Can I see the letter?

- Would you like to see the letter?

- I would love to.
- I turn the letter over.

- That's not what that says.

- No, you think that because of the magic.

You think it's a book
report, or a book review.

- Report?
- It's not!

- Over the summer, I
read "The Green Hunter".

- I think at this point
I have to fabricate

a Lady Chirp also reading a book.

- To be clear,

Squak wrote "The Green
Hunter" under a penname.

It's my book.

- This is also a ploy to
get the sales to spike.

- Oh, you know it.
- Yes!

- Everyone's talking
about "The Green Hunter"!

It's the book of the Bloom!

- I actually didn't get to use my rumor.

- Yes!
- So I will start a rumor

that "The Green Hunter" is
getting turned into a movie.

- And it's gonna be fucking great.

- Have you seen the New York Times?

They're adapting "The Green Hunter".

- Not again!
- Not again.

- I'm going to put together
a plan to seek out Lady Chirp

and get this clarified
once and for fucking all.

Can you get your ass down to that library

in the seaside cave, seek
out this fucking book

so we can read it before the movie?

Because the movie's gonna
ruin it for us, Advisor.

I don't want that to happen.

- I'm so happy to go
get it, but don't, I...

You've got this.

- Thank you.
- I'm gonna go.

- And I turn to a mirror and
I repeat that over and over.

I have this, I have this, I got this.

- And Advisor is going
to cuff your grandpa dog

on the way out, kind of
drag him out of there.

Stop it, you're being weird.

That's a weird thing you're doing.

- And in case you're wondering,
my penname is Airry Pearry.

- Airry Pearry?
- How do you spell that?

- A-I-R-R-Y.
- Yes.

- P-E-A-R-R-Y.
- Not Pearry like the fruit!

- Okay, okay, okay.
- That's my penname.

- Airry Pearry.
- Airry Pearry.

- Author of "The Green Hunter".

- Okay, I have purpose now.

- Bloom bestseller "The Green Hunter".

- To get "The Green Hunter"
turned into a movie.

- Amazing, and we move from that

to one final missive

delivered to the Lords of the Wing.

And as you're sitting, your
fabricated reading selves-

- I look out the window over myself.

Someone's here, cousin!

- Actually, no, that's not what happens.

You guys are kind of in your
repose within your nest,

and you hear all of your
birds begin to chirp.

- Can we keep it down?
- It only gets louder.

Normally, it takes barely a word

for you to get those birds in line.

They listen to you.

So there's only one thing
that would make them.

- Oh no!
- Oh!

- No, no no no no no.
- No, this is awful.

- [Lou] No no no no no no.

- This is the worst thing possible!

- It cannot be, it cannot
be. He would not come!

- It's all fun and games till
fucking Grandpa shows up.

- Squak, I really can't have this.

- It's not. It's something else.

- Squak, I think we should
hide. I think we should hide.

- Let's do it. Can we
both roll a stealth check?

- Yeah, give me some stealth checks, baby.

You can have advantage if
you're hiding inside your nest.

- That's a crit.
- Yes!

- Okay, well, you critted.

- Lady Chirp Featherfowl
disappears from the narrative.

- Grandfather!

- I'm gonna say, I got a 14,

so I think I'm just perfectly
aligned with the fake one.

It's a perfect one to one.

- Squak, what are you doing?

- I need to stop breathing.
Please stop talking.

I need to stop breathing.
- Okay, okay.

- Dissonant caws and chirps and birdsong

begin to overlap one another.

It becomes loud.

It fills your ears

and kind of hurts your bird hearing holes.

You don't have ears.

And you hear, within the cacophony,

your grandfather's voice

as he speaks out through
the chorus of birdsong.

I plan on joining you

for the climax of the Bloom.

I want very much to be there in person

to give my blessing to the matches

you have sought out.
- Oh, fuck!

- Tears just running down my
face, running down my face.

- Word has reached me here,

and you have made me proud.

Do not falter in your moment of glory.

And the birdsong begins to die down.

- Okay.

- So he still talked to us
even though we were hidden.

- I know!

- He probably knew. That means he knows.

- But he knows that
we're doing really well.

- Well yes, everyone's talking about us.

- Hospitable, mature!
- So mature, yes yes yes.

- He said he's coming at the climax.

- Yes.

- So that would mean, because, I mean-

- Most people do! (screams)
- Technically.

- Whatever the opposite of
inspiration is, I give you that.

- So technically, how many
days does that leave us?

- I mean, well,

time here is measured
in, what, moons and suns?

- Moons and teaspoons, teaspoons.

- Teaspoons?

I'm gonna run over to
whatever the fucked up,

90 page Rubik's Cube of a calendar

the Fey have and be like...

- You turn a page and
three butterflies come out.

You turn another page

and you smell your mother's favorite food.

- I don't think we have a lot of time!

- Okay, okay.

- Well, I mean, I won't lie,
I'm already engaged, so-

- You what?

- Well, it's not...

- What? What?

Wait, are you speaking
figuratively about Prince Apollo?

Because I do think you
are so close to closing.

- And I think I honestly, you know,

having written your letter for you,

I know you are meeting
with them, and if you are,

I wouldn't mind if you
put a good word in for me,

but yes, I'm already engaged

to the Baroness Alven of
the Court of Sea Foam.

- What?

- Well-
- What?

- She was courting me very, like,

she was courting me previous to the Bloom,

and I was like, oh, you know,

there was that kind of
missive going around

that this might be the last Bloom.

People were already kind of
muttering, and I was like,

well, you know, it would be
nice to go into the Bloom,

because she's very relaxed
with regard to my habits.

- Ah.
- And so I was like, oh,

we'll go into the Bloom,
it'll be nice to already have

one in the pocket, and so it's
like when we get to the end,

it'll be like, aha, there we go!

And me and you, we could
have all the fun we wanted.

But then Grandfather came down

with all of this, and
you have to be married!

And I don't know, I'm
feeling very constrained

and, you know, she's fine.

We could be married.
It would be good, but-

- Would it be a good
match for Grandfather?

- Of course! For Grandfather, of course!

- Oh!
- But for me? Never!

- Wait, what?
- Never!

- You are engaged and you
intend to break it off?

- I don't intend to break it off

if I can find something that
I think fits me a bit more.

- Cousin, you're shopping around?

- Of course I'm shopping around!

- You're price comparing?

- Of course I'm price comparing!
I would never just buy!

- Okay, cousin. Cousin, I'm married!

- [Brennan] Holy shit!
(players screaming)

(Lou dry heaving)

- I can't with all this. I can't.

- What? Hold on.

Squak is going to just start

knocking down bookshelves and things.

Do we have alcohol? Birds, alcohol!

- Okay, okay, fine, get me liquored up.

I'll tell you everything,
but I need you to understand

that I will be putting you in
danger if I tell you any more.

- Well, you know I love danger.

You know, I'm just going
to make us a classic.

And I'm just going to start
pouring gin into a cup,

followed by vodka, followed
by just, like, ethereal tears,

just anything I can get, here.

- Gobble is following around,

your butler is just chasing
you around putting stuff back,

but we'll let you make
that terrible drink.

- Great. Hey.
- Okay.

- Okay, cheers.
- Cheers.

- What the fuck?

- Cousin, cousin, I'm married.
- Okay.

- And I have a child.
(players screaming)

- Gobble, another!

- And here's the thing.
- How many children?

One, two, three, four, five?

- Only one, but it's really bad.

It's really, really bad, and
Grandfather's going to be

really pissed if he ever finds out.

- Why?

- Because she's on the Material Plane,

and I spilled Grandfather's secret magic

into the material plane.

- Wait.

- And she's a mortal
manifesting our magic.

And to keep their secret, I
gave away my power of flight.

- Well I've, wait, wait.
- So I can't fly anymore!

- You hear a bottle shatter as
Gobble stares at both of you

and then turns and sprints.

- I'm going to cast Otto's
Irresistible Dance on Gobble.

- Okay. What's my save?

Doesn't matter, it's a natural one.

- Yes, great.
- Oh my god.

- It's an 18. I think
he just starts dancing.

- I'll Gift of Gab so
that at least he can hear

that I'm married, but doesn't
know that it's Material Plane.

- Why am I dancing?

- Okay, should I release
Gobble? Are we good?

- Okay, I have to be honest right now.

I'm looking at Suggesting
Gobble go sleep in my nest

so that he's unconscious
and I can auto-crit

on a Sneak Attack round and kill him.

- No, no, no, no!

- That's what I'm grappling with!

- He's just dancing and
weeping like, please don't!

- [Brennan] He's backing it up?

- Gobble's throwing ass
right now. Please don't!

- What do I have to do?
- What?

- [Emily] What do I have
to do to buy your silence?

- Money.
- Okay, how much do you want?

- No, no, okay, I'm sorry, I panicked.

I just didn't want to be in the room

as you were saying more things.

Please let me stop dancing.
- I understand.

- We can have a conversation,
and if you want to kill me

at the end of it, you can kill me.

- No, I don't want to,
I really don't want to.

- Are you sure?

- I've cleaned up so many
of your nastiest messes.

We're there. That's fine.

I'm not a snitch.

- Hey, it's okay, Gobble.

I think we're all
excising a lot right now.

- Hold on, I got a little stitch.

- You don't understand,
it's just been, yeah.

- Go ahead and stretch that out, Gobble.

You know, put your hand above your head.

- It hurts, it hurts.

- There's been a lot of pressure,

and then Grandfather showed up.

- And he was proud.

The fact that was proud, I was like, whoa.

- I know!

- Hey, can I just be in another...

Look, I understand that me
knowing this is a liability.

I would love to leave.

Okay, are you hungry?

Yeah, we'll take a snack.

- Yeah, you know what?

Okay, Gobble, I can fabricate
you whatever you want,

and I will do that, hm,

every week for the rest of your life.

I'm a master forger. I can
make you designer goods.

Well, not designer goods.
Forged designer goods.

I'll do anything.

I forgot you were here.

- Give me a persuasion check

as Gobble kind of calms down

and is staring very intently at you.

- I'm gonna give you
the help action on that.

- Thank you.

- I will give you fake Prada

is the best promise I've ever heard.

- 19.

- Gobble gets very calm and serene again.

I have to be honest.

Sorry, I'm going to try to do this

and have a moment with you.

I am out of breath.

- I'm sorry I forced you to back it up.

- I get it.
- I'm sorry that I, yeah.

- The instinct.

I have served your family and this house

for most of my life.

I've seen you grow up and make choices.

Look, I got it, when your grandfather

came down on you,

but I think if you're really,

if this is real-

- It's real.

I'm just very scared of
what Grandfather will do

if he finds out, because
he's very interested

in keeping the power of flight
to the Lords of the Wing,

because it is by its grace

that we have enjoyed independence.

- Yeah. I'm not gonna say anything.

Now, if he puts me to the question...

- I know. This is why I've
been keeping it from Squak.

- That's fair, I run my mouth a lot.

But this, this I'll keep secret.

- I need you to know that I chose

to stay with you both through all of this.

My loyalty is with you.

You guys are alive.

There's nothing wrong with that.

- Gobble, I like when you talk, man.

- Thanks, I don't talk very often.

I'm afraid you'll kill me.

- I know when we got
to the Bloom, you know,

we pulled you aside and
said shut the hell up

when we're speaking.
- Whatever, it's cool.

You've done much worse things.

- Oh, that time we invaded
your dreams, Gobble?

- Yes!

- And you just see one little tear.

- [Emily] It's so funny
to tabletop someone

in their own nightmares.
- In their dreams!

- All right, well, I'm gonna go.

- Of course.
- Fuck it.

And he just grabs the bottle of vodka

and walks out of the room.
- That's fine.

- We've still got gin.
- Yeah, we've still got gin.

- So, yeah.
- So, yeah.

- So I basically, I don't
think I can satisfy Rue's-

- Are you in love with them?

- Yes, and unfortunately,
like many of the birds

that Grandfather modeled after us,

I think I tend to partner one at a time.

And I don't think I can
satisfy Rue's gamble,

and I've been working
overtime trying to figure out

how I could get out of it,
and I sent a missive to Rue,

and I'm hoping that they'll
see me, and I'm going to offer

setting two people up to
fall in love in my stead,

and that is my hope.
- Okay, hold on this.

- I was going to say, and
because my earnest intention

after the epistolary phase was,
I had a couple things to do,

one of which was to go meet
Binx at our secret rendezvous,

but I was going, now, this is,

I can only promise on my earnest heart

that it was a goal of
mine to address the letter

by stopping by the nest
of the Lords of the Wing.

However, there is this whole
loud interaction happening,

if we wanted to roll some
dice to see at what time

Hob would show up there, but
that doesn't have to happen.

That's something I'm just putting

out on the table as a possibility.

- Roll a perception check.
- Okay.

(dice clattering)

That's only going to be a 10.
- Okay.

You hear shouting and
yelling and excited noises.

You do not make out words.
- Cool.

- And once you get within,
I'm gonna say, like 50 feet,

when you would be able to
pick out specific phrasing,

as you are speaking, the birds
grow incredibly loud again

giving you a little bit of
cover as someone approaches.

- Well, cousin, it seems
there's much to talk about.

- I know.
- But perhaps at a time when-

- Forgive me.

- Cousin. You can do no wrong in my eyes.

- And you in mine.
- Are you sure?

I mean, even this weird
price comparison thing?

That's not too much for you?

- No, I love it.

If anything, I'm dying right now

because I just want to fuck around.

It doesn't go away,
because here's the thing,

is Esmé's going to have a
limited lifetime, right?

- Yes.
- So I am partnered for now.

- Esmé?
- But I know

that there is so much fuckery!

- Esmé?
- Esmé.

- Is that their name?
- Yes.

- I like it.
- Thank you.

- Well, I agree.

I think there's much to be talked about

with regard to fuckery,

but perhaps we should greet our guest.

- Okay, okay.

- I think Squak is
gonna do that bird shake

of just, like, feathers out, pull it back.

- Whew!
- Okay.

And go to open the door.

- With that, you open the door,

and you see Captain K.P. Hob.

- Well, if it isn't the
formidable Captain K.P. Hob!

A drink, sir.

- I am-

- I'm gonna turn and walk into the house.

What will you have? Water, tea, wine?

- I regret that my visit must
be of such a short nature

that drinks will not be
necessary in this moment.

- Oh, but come on, but
a moment, but a moment!

- Please!
- The tea is already hot.

And I'm going to, yes.

- I look down at the tea, and
I say, thank you very much.

A most hospitable gesture

of my mature companions.

- Thank you!
- Thank you.

- I meant only to drop by.

And by the way, there are two things

that I would've done before
coming here, but we can-

- Yeah.
- If we want to zip.

So number one would've been,

just because it's been
episodes in the making

and I would never forgive
myself if I did not go,

when I get back from the hedge maze,

what did we find in the trash?

- Yes.
- When we look

at all the trash together, we are looking

for the agent saboteur
in the Court of Wonder.

What have we found from the trash?

- What you saw was the scrambling

of the full bulk of the Court of Wonder.

They are assuming that the Crystal Heart

will go to Prince Apollo, 'cause
he's due and it's his time,

and are trying to put feelers out in place

to get Prince Apollo a true match

now that the goblin
unpleasantness is behind them.

- Hob is not a victim
of his own propaganda.

He knows that Grabalba

might have just been actually
spurned by Prince Apollo.

Is this confirmation that the goblins

were basically dunked on

for the Court of Wonder
to raise their station?

Of like, we were war heroes,

there was a romance that
was supposed to happen,

and they canceled it to
raise their own station

to set Apollo up for a different match?

- Let me ask you a question, Brennan.

How socially adept do you
think K.P. Hob actually is?

- More than he thinks he is, I think.

But he's going to pass this off

to Blemish and Boil regardless,

but I think he wants to make sure

that he's passing off something useful

rather than just, here's a bunch of noise.

- Yeah, give me an insight check

to derive some sort of
narrative from a pile of data.

- That's not a good check.
That's only a seven.

- Oof.
- And you're searching.

You have been reminded across the Bloom

that you are a hammer in need of a nail,

so you are searching for a
single damning bit of evidence,

and it occurs to you at several points,

as you're searching through

and trying to tie things together,

that if there were a definitive thing,

in as much as you even had
the thought to swallow notes

as they come in, a
singular piece of evidence

would probably not make it into the trash.

However, what you're seeing

is the scrambling and capitalizing

on an opportunity,

but not any admission of guilt.

This seems like they're just
like, well, while we've got it,

let's try to get the best thing happening.

- I will tell Lieutenant
Gorebladder to assemble

the selected pieces of
writing that, you know,

things that were not literally disposable,

like notes to family and friends.

- Yeah.
- Take these select pieces.

Bring them to Blemish and Boil

for them to arrive at
their own conclusion,

and I'll head off to go to the nest.

- I'll give you instinctually,
though you don't have

a piece of specific evidence,

the way this coverage seems,

though you can't figure
out who's the one person

that tanked this deal,

the way everyone's trying
to cover and scramble

feels like this happened in house

and we're going to cover it,
but you don't know if or who-

- There's a lot of smoke, but no fire.

- Yes.
- Gotcha, cool.

We're on the right trail,
but this was not it.

Okay, cool, and I'm going
to head off to the nest.

- And then there, you have
been handed a cup of tea.

- Oh, amazing.

- Are you sure you cannot sit down?

- Oh.
- Cousin, both of the chairs

are being used with our effigies reading.

- There's actually four
of you in here, is that...

- Yes, it's us. Look at us.

I know that they're expert forgeries.

- Of course.
- But we are the real birds.

- Have you read "The Green Hunter"?

Everyone is talking about it.
- Have you, by the way?

- People recommended it to me.

Several people have recommended it to me,

and I have enjoyed it thoroughly.

- I heard it's going to
be made into a movie!

(Brennan chortles)

- I come...
(all laughing)

I come in reference to your last letter.

- Yes.
- Lord Airavis.

And I mean only to say
that I am glad to hear

that you spoke mistakenly.
- Of course.

- You ended your last
missive with an invitation

that should the Lords of
the Wing be able to provide

any service for the Goblin Court,

that I might prevail
upon you to provide such.

- Of course, anything within reason.

- Yes.

- Hm, well, then we shall find
the limits of reason here.

- Oh, you could've just asked.

This feels kind of antagonistic

when you're asking for a favor.

Are you asking for something illicit?

- Not at all.

- Something you think we might say no to?

- To be honest with you, Lady Cluckingham,

I am at present unaware of
what I will need to ask for,

because there is clarification
needed about where we stand.

- Oh.
- If you spoke mistakenly...

- Mm.

- Because the events
that you were reporting

were created, a figment of your own mind,

then it should please the Goblin Court

that you would offer a public
retraction of that statement.

- Mm-hm.

- However, no public
retraction would be necessary

if those ideas were not formed by you,

but instead were given to you by another.

- May I interject?
- Of course.

- I know that you're-
- We are of one mind, cousin.

- Okay, okay.

Just so I understand your meaning,

because maybe we'll find a common place

that we didn't know was
there, is it the revelation

of that information
that you wish to strike

from the memories of everyone,
or is there something,

what's the core of what
you desire from this?

- Well, I believe that cat
is out of that bag, isn't it?

Nothing may be stricken from
memory here at the Bloom

where all of the fey talk.

- And so is it the slight

that was delivered to the
Goblin Court that upsets you?

- A vicious rumor was spread.

The honor of the Goblin
Court must be maintained.

If that rumor originated
from Lord Airavis,

then of course Lord Airavis

could simply publicly
retract the statement.

However, if the rumor did not
originate from Lord Airavis,

then your honor is perfectly
intact, as you were misinformed

through no wrongdoing of your own,

and I would seek counsel
with whoever misinformed you.

- I understand you clearly, Captain Hob.

- Thank you.
- And I must say,

as much as I wish that
I could step forward

and make my retraction publicly,

let everyone know the truth of
what happened, it is another.

- Ah, so certain stories
continue to be spread.

- As it always is at court.

- In this matter,

I can offer you my dearest
understanding and gratitude

that you have spoken as such.

Now, it is understood by all parties here

who may indeed have passed
along this story to you.

- Mm-hm.

- As a gentleman, I will not ask it

to be spoken of here in this room.

That being said, I believe you understand

who my mind now dwells upon.

- And I believe your mind
may indeed know the answer.

- In that case, I offer this opportunity

for the Lords of the Wing
to correct my understanding,

for indeed there may be grave consequences

to the misdeeds of the
individual I now think on.

I would hate to think that
they might be approached

in a brusque manner if
someone else is at fault.

So, unless you have
another name to give me,

I must indeed proceed
with the understanding

that I currently hold.

- Cousin, we are of one mind,

and no other name comes
to this side of things.

What of you?

- Do you know anyone who's
been spreading this rumor?

- I don't know anyone who's
been spreading this rumor.

I'm just goading this man.

- This is your opportunity.

Who do you throw under the bus?

- This isn't how I fight. No
one comes to mind, either.

- Then I suppose we are all of one mind,

and the source of this most vicious lie

may be offered the same
opportunity to retract it,

though I feel that when
I ask them this favor,

it will be in less private settings.

- Oh, well, let it be so,

and know that we, the Lords
of the Wing, have always stood

alongside those members
of the Goblin Court.

(Brennan pounding and clapping)

- And I'm going to walk out of there.

- Can I say that then I'm
standing exactly in the doorway,

and you run into me?

- Yeah, I'll run right into you.

(both grunting)

Your majesty.
- Captain.

- I needed to talk to you.

- Me?
- Yes.

- I was here to speak with
the Lords of the Wing.

- Very well, we need to
speak, but come and meet me

in 10 minutes from now
by the eastern gate.

- That's the length of the spell, great.

- And as Andhera's moving in

to talk to the Lords of the Wing,

I'm going to send a
message with a salt goblin

quickly to Binx, and my
message is just going to read

very plainly, meetings of this
nature can be grave affairs.

See that you bring a second of
a court other than your own,

and I shall do the same.

- Oh, so I'm running. How
does a salt goblin find me?

- I think there has been
a fun little alliance

between the Goblin Court
and the Court of Trickery,

and when needed, their
support can be relied on,

and what we see is a
goblin kind of taking off

from your back pocket and
sprinting with a message,

and they sort of pass behind a small rock,

and another cobblestone,

and then behind the third, they disappear,

and they come up sprinting behind you

as the Court of Trickery
has sort of transported them

behind you, and they're
just kind of behind you.

Hey! Hey!

- Hi, hello!

- Stop running!
- Okay! All right!

- Hi.
- Hi.

- You got to bring a second.
- To?

- Your meeting.
- Oh! Oh.

- Different court. Well,
you don't have anyone, so.

- Yeah.
- Wow.

- It's fine. Do you have people?

Do you really have people?
- Yeah.

You want to go?
- You want to go?

- He starts climbing up to a taller, like,

this is a tiny salt goblin,
takes him a good 45 seconds

to climb up onto a little pillar to get

just to eye contact with you.

Yeah, I got, like, a whole host of people.

- Yeah?

- Who could absolutely wreck your shit.

- But will you-
- I'm not scared of you.

- I'm not scared of you! You want to go?

What, am I scared of you? No, I'm not.

- Ah!
- Ah!

- [Players] Duel, duel, duel,
duel, duel, duel, duel, duel!

- I demand...

No, I'm just kidding.

(Aabria yelps)

I respect.

Anyway, bring a second.

- All right, in needing
to bring a second now

to this conversation, because
I think probably he thinks

that I'm probably gonna murder him,

and so it makes sense, this
all makes sense to me, really.

So, I turn back

and run back to find Rue.

- Where are you go...

- No, just...

- Take me with you. I'm not running again.


- Okay.
- Uppies!

- Yes!
- Yep.

- Okay.

- Yeah, he's like, ooh, girl, you're oily.

(Oscar mimicking the squeaks
of goblin-on-fey skin contact)

He's helping how he can.

He's got some old blotting
sheets. I got you.

- Got some blotting sheets.
- Where does Rue stay at?

- Oh, probably in the center of the hall

where all the archfey are staying.

- Within the Court of Wonder,
there is one tall tower,

and the top apartments

are kept by the members of the chorus

that are here, and below
that, just a floor,

but also the remnant of the tower,

is dedicated specifically
to Rue's use and relaxation.

They all know that, of course,
the leaders of your court

would require pride of
place, but you've been here

for months before, and you
will be here for weeks after,

wrapping it up, so 80%
of a beautiful tower

is dedicated to your service.

- So if I were to
approach this tower alone,

I would obviously transform
back into Gwyndolin,

because that's the Court of Wonder,

but because I have a salt goblin on me,

I'm going to reach into my wings

and I'm going to grab disguises.

So they're just like, I have
a large pair of sunglasses,

I have a scarf, and I have a wig.

I'm just, scarf, wig,
sunglasses, very incognito.

- Yes, I love it.

- Yeah, I still have my
wings out, it's fine.

- Cousin, the new girl, she's at it again!

- Yes, are those sunglasses?
- She looks fantastic.

- I haven't seen anyone
wear sunglasses all Bloom.

- As your kind of doing that,
the little salt goblin's like,

that's for sure the best you could do?

- I find them a hat, and then I-

- Okay, I appreciate a fine bucket hat.

This is still fucked
up. You do magic, right?

- Yeah, but smaller magic, simple magic.

- Like what?

- Reach into your pocket right now.

Just reach into it. Do it.

- Bold of you to think I have pockets.

Oh shit, I'm wearing pants today.

Reaches in, what does he grab?

- He grabs the equivalent of $5.

- Aw.
- Oh my god.

- Just a massive coin.
- Go spend it, baby!

Go spend it!

- You did this.

- Yeah, I did that. That's
my magic, you're welcome.

- Salt goblins use those
for little tabletops.

- You flirting with me?
- No I'm not, sir.

- Somebody's got to fuck a salt goblin.

- Oh my god, it would be
me if I were not married.

- Okay.

And he kind of crawls back
towards where your scarf is,

and is just trying to be discreet, yeah.

- I find Rue's room, and
I rapidly... (knocks)

- Oh.
- Knock at it.

- Come in.

- Yes, I will come in. Hiding my voice.

- Binx, is that you?

- No, it is...

Charles Foster II. Yes.

- My dear, your wings are showing.

- I crowd myself into
your room, push through.


- What is the meaning of
this ensemble you have?

- Yeah, it's a disguise.

Anyhoo, I need your help again.

If you wouldn't mind being my second,

I have a meeting with Captain Hob.

He, I believe, thinks I
am planning to murder him,

so I need a second so that
he knows that I mean no harm,

but you're the only one that knows, like,

I pop into Gwyndolin,
then I pop back into Binx.

That thing, so.

- Hob knows?

- No, but I want to tell him,

because he thinks that
I'm going to murder him.

I need him to know that I'm not going to

in a way that I can just talk
to him, because I feel like,

and just bear with me,
I feel like he might be

my twin flame, not in a romantic way

but in a friendship, kindred
spirit kind of thing,

I feel like we have the
same vibe happening,

and I want, just, him to know

that he's not going to be murdered.

- You like him like him.
Also, you're Gwyndolin?

- Fuck!

- Kill him.

- That's a nice hat you have on.

- Thanks. It's from her.
- Oh.

- Yeah, first of all,

I respect

your silence on this matter.

- Bold.

- We've got to start killing
people in this campaign. Guys.

- [Lou] Guys, come on.

- Interesting that you would.

- Yeah, so it is expected
that you would betray me,

so what is the most goblin thing to do,

if I expect you to betray me?

- You playing mind games with me?

- I don't know, do you
play mind games with me?

- Oh shit, I think I'm in love.

Make an intimidation check.

- Oh no. Wait, wait.

- You have Lucky.

- Oh, I'm lucky!
- Yeah!

- That's better.

That is a 14.

- [Lou] Let's go, salt goblin.

- Come on, salt goblin!

- Look, do you know how
many of us salt goblins

die every day over some bullshit?

- I mean, that seems like a problem.

- I don't fear death.

- I'm kind of intimidated.

- Oh my god, stop. He just
pulls the bucket down.

- I'd like to use an intimidation check.

- Yeah, go ahead.

Owlbear, give me it with advantage.

(Oscar titters)

- Thank god for that advantage.

- [Lou] Thank god for that advantage.

- I rolled a one, and now I rolled a 19.

- Ooh!
- A 25 total.

- 25!
- Okay, oh my god.

- So in my owlbear
form, true owlbear form,

I look at the salt goblin and say, listen.

You are here as my guest,

in my own quarters.

- Ooh!

- I would kindly suggest that you respect

my friend Binx as well as me,

and keep what was said in
my quarters to yourself.

- Yeah.

- That was terrifying.

Truly, you understand, though,

I am an emissary of my
court, and there has been-

- I cast Sleep.

- Boop! And he just falls right over.

- I panicked! I panicked, oh god.

- We should've done
that from the beginning.

- I thought we could reason with him,

but then apparently he just kept talking,

and I was like, I guess
this is what we're doing!

- No, I understand, it was a
very, very scrappy salt goblin.

- He's just asleep on your shoulder.

- Somewhere, Hob is like,
put him in a Mason jar!

A Mason jar!
- Poke a hole in it!

Hole in the lid!

- I'm sorry, my dear Binx,

you are going to have counsel

with Hob at the moment?

- Yes, I think that he can help me.

- With what?

- With finding information.

You know, the thing we talked about.

- Of course.

- But I think that he can
help me find information.

I know that there's, like...

- What are you talking about?

- Okay, but, I mean...

- Is it obvious?

- So, I watch a lot, and I noticed a lot.

- People can tell?
- No, I can tell.

- Are people talking?
- A little bit.

(Oscar sighs)

But, just listen.

It doesn't have to, you know,

if you need anybody to talk to who...

I am not good at this relationship talk,

but I will hear you.

I will hear the sounds you're making,

and I will nod empathetically
at those sounds

so you feel heard and understood.

- Well, that comforted me very little.

- You're welcome.

- But I appreciate the intention.

- Yeah.

- I will be there for you.

Just the thought of him,

the thought of seeing him, makes me-

- What does it make you?

- I don't know, sweaty.
- Mm.

- Yes, thank you.

He just makes me so happy.

There's something about his presence.

I barely know him, but I feel
like I understand him so well.

You talk about twin flame, but to me,

there's something deeper than that,

hotter, fierier than just a flame.

Am I being ridiculous?
- No, no, please.

Listen, life is really short,

and I know it doesn't make sense

because we're supposed to live forever,

but turns out, we don't, okay?

So if you feel something, and
this is maybe the last Bloom.

- Allegedly, yes.
- Then, you know,

maybe it's worth at
least being brave enough

to know, what if?

- What if he does not
reciprocate feelings?

Because that reality
would be insufferable.

- Would you rather live in a world

where you didn't even try?

There is bravery in that,
and there's courage in that,

and yes, there is

the large, fiery feeling

of disappointment and utter heartbreak

that might come with that.

(Oscar mumbling)

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

What I'm saying is,

you have to act on the things you feel,

because that is

what our magic is made of,

feelings, thoughts, ideas.

It's who we are, and if you
get tied in the structure

of all of the hierarchy and
the manners and the rules

and parades, there's so many parades,

if you get tied into that,
then what are you doing?

What is the point?


- You're right.

I look at you, and I
must confess, I'm in awe

of the fact that you are
fighting to make right.

You are fighting for something
larger than just yourself.

I will go with you.

- Okay.
- I will provide counsel.

I won't say anything,

because of course this
is about the two of you,

but I'm gonna look sickening, okay?

- All right, all right.

- I will show up and I will
wear my hottest outfit.

- We can figure it out.

We can look at your stuff right now.

- Let's do it.

- And on that, yeah, we'll
bounce back to Andhera.

- Great. Lords of the Wing.

- Oh!
- Ah, Andhera.

No, don't come too close!

Cousin, describe him to
me, what he's wearing.

I can't possibly behold
it with my own eyes!

- Oh, he's wearing,
what is Andhera wearing?

- Same old, same old. Just, open robe.

- The same thing? Does it
look like it's been laundered?

- Oh, no, it's covered in his musk.

- If I may step in very
quickly, I'm not a vampire,

I don't need to be invited.

- Yes, but is is a nest. You
should wait to be invited.

- In that case, treat me like a vampire.

- Okay, come in, come in.
- Great, thank you.

Now, I will suck your blood!

- Tea, vodka, wine?
- Gin?

- Gin? Oh, we're out of
vodka, we just have gin.

- I will have a-

- Or tea, of course, we have tea.

- We gave our vodka away.

- Do you have any apple juice?

- I'm gonna leave the two of you.

I'll go see I can-

- Cousin, why would you do that?

- I'm gonna leave the two of you.

- [Emily] What are you doing to me?

- I'm gonna see if I can
scrounge up some apple juice.

- Cousin, if you ever want to-

- It's deep underneath the nest.

- Hey, cousin?

- So I may not be back
in a second. Goodbye!

- I message him, if you ever
want to meet your niece.

- Oh, do not!
- Andhera!

- Before you say anything.
- Yes.

- I cast Zone of Truth.

- What is it?
- Charisma 13 save.

- Hm.

I fail, and I'm not gonna
try and Counterspell it

or anything, I'm not really
trying to hide anything.

Ah, you've cast magic on me.

- Listen, about that.

I am a little bit over my head,
if I'm being quite honest.

- Really?
- Yes.

I've, how do I put this?

I've written checks my
body can't quite cash.

- My head could spin around, fully 360.

- That's so visceral and visual.

- I never intended for you to
fall madly in love with me.

I was simply playing
the game of diplomacy.

I like you very much,

but sort of in a babysitter kind of way.

- Babysitter!
- The energy of it,

and I feel so guilty about this.

I'm so sorry, and I don't
want to break your heart.

- If it's Zone of Truth, do
I have to respond truthfully?

- If you respond, it must be the truth,

but you can also abstain from responding.

- Hm. Andhera.
- Mm-hm?

- I want the best for you,
and that is the truth.

- That is so...

But I still feel so guilty!
No, don't do this to me!

- No no no, Andhera.

- No, you're putting yourself out!

- If you are a person like me,
you know that (clears throat)

sometimes people need to believe

what they need to believe.

- That is true, and I do
appreciate that very much.

You are in love, right?

- I'm sorry, what?

- I mean, maybe I'm confused, actually.

I'll just ask you point
blank, are you in love?

(Surena groans)

- Deeply.
- Shit! Oh shit, I knew it!

- Who wants apple juice?
We had one more case!

- Oh, please!

- Gobble tried desperately to
stop you from going back in.

- Gobble, please. You think
I'm going to miss this?

- Andera, guilt is not going
to serve you in your quest.

It is not with you.
- Oh, shoot.

- The guilt is not with me.
Wait, hold on, what the fuck?

- I am not in love with you.
- Oh, shi- Oh, oh!

- Yes. But I do wish the best for you.

- Oh, okay, that's fine, great.

- Yes.
- Great. Oh.

- I put up a little
charade because I, yes.

- Well.

Well then, certainly-

- I thought it would boost
your confidence, but I see to-

- It stressed me out so much.
- Really when you said it,

I was trying to put a
little distance between us.

- Yes.

- Under the guise of trying
to not hurt your feelings.

And now you're here, and...

- That's so funny, I
sweat through my clothes

and I only brought one set.

So, greatly interesting, interesting.

Well, I'm happy to hear that.

Truthfully, I think the world of you both.

You always bring so much fun everywhere.

Everyone here is so serious,
and I think they're having fun,

but they're always in such a bad mood.

- Yes, I would agree that the
Bloom's been dour this year.

- It's been only one duel, and no murder!

- I know!

- Well, if you want, I can command a duel

with someone that I can easily best,

and you can see someone
just slaughtered out there.

And we can bring them back from the dead.

We don't have to make it permanent.

- That's why I'm always like,
come on, let's get into it!

We'll bring you back!

- Well, since it's Zone of Truth,

is it all right if I call
you Auntie and Uncle?

- Dispel Magic. No.

I need to get out of
this situation. Gobble?

Gobble, take him away.

- Enjoy the rest of that apple
juice. We never drink it.

- We never drink it.

Please, take an apple juice for the road.

- It's just a mixer, so, you know.

- Hold on!

And Gobble's gonna stumble over

and pour some vodka into your apple juice.

There you go.

- Oh, thank you.
- There you go.

- Let me taste this really quickly.

What a unique flavor
profile. Thank you, Gobble.

- Yes.
- I wish you best the both.

And also, I know Zone of Truth is gone,

but this is the honest truth,

if you need a beard to
cover up for anything-

- Not a beard!
- Feel free.

- I don't understand that word.

- Yes, I also am very confused. A beard?

- Yes, when you're trying
to hide a relationship,

usually pertaining to a
specific type of relationship,

I'm gonna go ahead and open
it up, we're all kind of pan,

in a way, at this greater event,

if you need a cover for
anything, please feel free,

and I promise I won't make it weird.

- Well.
- I mean.

- I mean.
- I think we, well,

I think, what a fantastic offer!

- Yes, why don't you continue
throughout this Bloom,

and perhaps you might find a love match,

and I would hate to be any sort of barrier

in that endeavor.
- Never.

- Of course, great, Uncle,
Auntie. Sorry, not that.

- Again, if you are going
to propose being my beard,

don't call me Auntie.

- Yes, I'm sorry, that makes
it so strange, doesn't it?

- If there's ever a world
where we find ourselves

at the end of the Bloom and we both enter

a loveless but mutually
respecting marriage.

- Right.

- I can't have you calling me Auntie.

- Absolutely not, great. Friends?

- Friends, beautiful.
- Friends.

- Great, thank you, and thank you.

I was a strange child growing up,

and you both just made
it fun to be at the Bloom

when everyone else was mean to me, so.

- We did used to be quite fun at Blooms.

- We did used to be quite fun at Blooms.

- You still are. You jumped on the table.

You jumped on the table and
you said, it's a goddamn Bloom.

- There was that moment, yes.
- Yeah.

- And who knows, maybe us
being fun will return again.

- Yes.
- Who knows?

- Maybe us being fun could
inject a little amorosity.

- Yes, maybe a bit of
high octane excitement

from the Lords of the Wing.

Maybe it's just what this Bloom needs.

- You've given us much to
think about, pillar boy.

- Thank you.

(Brennan laughing)

Enjoy the rest of your day.

- Of course, and enjoy the apple juice.

- Yes.

- It's been ruined by the vodka.

- We have more, and we
truly do not drink it.

- We really don't drink it.

- I'll swing by at a future time.

- We'll send it over.

We'll put it on a
peacock, don't even worry.

- You don't have to do
that. I will come by.

- Flock of Familiars. I
summon a bunch of peacocks.

- All right, now go, go.

- The casks of apple juice, please.

- You're too kind.
- Now go, please.

- You're too kind.
- Get the hell out of here.

- Please leave.
- Too kind.

- Wow.
- And as you move outside...

- I'm waiting by the
east gate for Andhera.

- Yeah.
- Okay, so you head over?

- I make my way as I kind of wave my robe.

Just like, oh, thank god.

- Amazing.
- That went so well.

- I think Hob is wearing a greatcoat,

so it's like the wide shoulders,
sort of against the rain,

and it's much more mottled,
there's no garish colors in it.

Your highness.

- Captain.

- Good to see you.
- You as well.

- Thank you for coming here.

I know my request must seem strange.

I'm going to tread dangerously
forward into the unknown.

Your house and mine are both
creatures of the darkness,

and so into the darkness we must tread.

I trust you.

- And you, Captain.

- No no, I mean to say,
I am not a clever man.

I am not a man possessed of
affinity for high society.

You were born to a family that
has put you in this place,

and I was not.

I have struggled to stay
afloat in the stormy waters

of the Bloom, and I have
at many times failed.

When I look to you, I see a man of honor,

and perhaps I am a fool, but
I know I cannot survive this

without making some attempt to trust.

So I'm telling you now, Prince
Andhera, that I trust you.

- What an interesting day
this is turning out to be,

as I am sharing one of the deepest secrets

with many people, it seems,

and I would like to
extend to you, Captain,

you can trust me with anything,

and I will be candid and honest with you.

We met in the fray of battle.

I believe that our relationship was forged

in the quiet serenity

of everyday conduct.

- To maintain one's honor in the face

of the trials and tribulations
of life is a constant battle,

and so in that way, your highness,

we have never left the battlefield.

- Shit, yeah, when you put it that way.

- Come walk with me.

If you would be a friend to me,

I am headed for a clandestine meeting

with one whom I believe
is of great importance

to all of the fey herein
gathered at the Bloom.

It is also possibly an ambush
to murder me and hide my body.

So, to that end, it
could also be an attempt

to have me arrive at a place of great evil

and frame me for an atrocity
that I did not commit.

So bringing another goblin was ruled out,

because my court would not be trusted

to speak on its own behalf.
- Right.

- Bringing a representative
of another court

means that there will be a
witness to whatever awaits me

at this clandestine
juncture, do you understand?

- Absolutely and completely.

In fact, I'll cast Detect
Good and Evil just to be safe.

- Magic seems so useful. What's that like?

I'm gonna head off with Prince Andhera.

- Let's go ahead and
bring you all together.

- I think that Binx is Gwyndolin-ified,

so she is Gwyndolin right now.

They're waiting behind an old tailor shop.

There's mannequins

and clothes that have been
abandoned strewn about.

It's dusty. The windows are broken in.

And Gwyndolin is nervously,

she has this little jack-in-the-box toy,

it's just a wooden toy, and
she's just nervously like, poof!

- Binx. Binx.
- Yeah?

- You look nervous.

- Well, I mean. I mean!

Listen, it's one of those things
where, if this goes wrong,

then I have dragged you
into this situation with me,

and then you're in trouble,
then I'm in trouble,

then we're all fighting, and, what?

- I am here at your side no matter what.

- Okay.
- Whether good or bad,

I am here.

Trust yourself.

- Okay.
- And if you can't,

I want you to think about this.

As a child,

I was a wild owlbear

that was raised by archfey
in the Court of Wonder.

- Wait, you're from the
Mortal Plane? Is that...

- I was taken by the archfey, yes.

And they raised me to be one of them.

I've always felt not a part of
the Court of Wonder society,

but I was terrified.

But I would hum a tune
that would steel myself

in order to do the things
that I needed to get done.

- Okay.
- And if you're nervous,

I want you to hum this tune.

And I can't hum a tune to save my life,

but I'm going to give
you a bardic inspiration

in case anything sort of happens.

- And as that happens,

you hear the little
salt goblin you know is-

- Which is in, because
we were in your room,

I put the salt goblin in a party favor bag

that has a window, so
it's not in a Mason jar,

it's in a party favor bag.

It has, like, stars on it.

It says happy birthday.
- Yes.

- And that's where the goblin is in.

- Then as you're having this moment,

Scorple, who is this little goblin.

- Scorple!
- Scorple!

- Just starts banging on the plastic part

to get your attention.

They're coming!

- Oh.
- Wait, what?

- They're here. They're coming.

- Oh!
- Yes!

- Thank you.

- I'm not a snitch. I don't want to die.

You can let me out, or
open a little more air.

It's hot in here.

- Sporadically punch a
bunch of holes in it.

- Thanks!

- As we approach this tailor's shop.

- Mm-hm.

- First of all, I just want to say,

as, really like- these dark,
cloaked Goblin and Unseelie

walk through the shadows,
I have a good stealth,

we just look hot.

I just want it to be known

that we're walking across a misty moor.

- Hold on, hold on, hold on.

Performance check from both of you.

- Ooh!

- You don't just get to say you look hot.

- Are you kidding?
- Ooh, that's not a hot face.

- Okay. 15.

- That's hot.
- That's hot.

- Did I get inspiration at any point?

- Ooh.
- Sure you have.

It's not on me to keep up with it.

- Shit, 21.

- Y'all are cutting a mean figure

as the shadows sort of lengthen and deepen

in this sort of forgotten area,

'cause I do want to be clear,

this entire island exists
because of the Bloom,

but even here in a place
made by the surge of magic,

there are forgotten corners,

and you were able to
find one, and yeah, cool.

- As we are approaching, I'm
gonna reach into my uniform

and pull out a purple potion,
and I'm going to hand it

to you and say, good rule of tactics.

Never give your opponent
the same trick twice.

Better for you to drink that than me.

And I'm going to let-
- Detect Thoughts.

- I'm gonna let Andhera
drink the Detect Thoughts

and look at you and say,

if there's anything coming
I should know about,

give me a tap of warning on the shoulder.

- Absolutely.

- And I'm going to walk into
this, and note that the leader

of the Court of Craft has
summoned us to a tailor shop.

- Yep.

- Why are they so hot right now?

They're just walking. They're hot.

- Hey yo boss, you look dope!

- Very good, Scorple. At ease.

- He just lays back down.

- I see Rue here. I visibly
catch my breath in my chest.

- Insight check.
- Mm.

- [Brennan] I'll roll deception.

- Oh, I want to help you.

- 13.
- 16.

- Oh ho!
- You don't clock it.

- In my head, I'm just like, yeah.

Oh, the one person Binx knows here?

Yeah, that's who she'd bring to the thing

when you said bring a second.

- Yeah, I would have noticed,

except I just cannot

keep my eyes on Hob.

It would demolish me just by looking at,

especially the slow-mo
way in which these two

gorgeous figurines just entered the room.

- Raincloud over us as
well, I would like to add.

- Ooh!
- A little wet?

- A little wet.
- A little damp?

- A little 2000s Backstreet Boys action.

- Exactly!
- Yes!

- Just right here, matted right there.

- Yeah, yeah.
- Little bangs action.

- Can I quickly get everyone to roll

for their surface thoughts
that I'm just picking up?

- Absolutely. There's no roll
for the surface thoughts.

- Oh, surface thoughts?
That's right, that's right.

- Surface thoughts are free.
- I'm not pushing any further,

so I hear that.
- I just look away.

- Oh, you absolutely feel that Hob

feels painful shame

at how enamored he is of Rue,

and it is a very self-excoriating,

it is a feeling of just like, you idiot.

Like, this is never gonna, like,

even in the swell of feeling,

there is a self-reproach.

- As I absorb those
thoughts and those feelings,

the cloud itself takes on
a sea storm kind of vibe,

and there's just needles of lightning

cross-crossing and shattering and breaking

through the cloud.
- Amazing.

- Gwyndolin, Binx's thoughts right now,

are just like, you got this?

They're just inspirational
quotes that she's read,

and she's repeating them,
so it's like, you got this.

You can do it. Hang in there.

It's just those thoughts,

and just repeating, repeating, repeating,

and an underscore is a tune.

- Ooh.

- And I glance over to you, Rue.

- I look away. I look down on the floor.

I try to, I fuss around with my gown.

I look around at the space and just think,

I've never been here before.

That's my surface thoughts.
I've never been here before.

What a place. I wonder
what's gonna happen, okay.

- Scorple's thinking about
food. Not that anyone asked.

- I put my cavalry officer's
hat in my hand and stand.

Ms. Thistle-hop, I
believe that Ms. Choppley

delivered a letter on your behalf.

- She did, because there is something

that I must tell you

that must remain, hello, hi.

Yes, okay. Outside of the Bloom.

And I feel that during tea,

you and I exchanged several thoughts

that might have painted me

in a light that is different
than my intended purpose.

- Mm.

I shall speak plainly, Ms. Thistle-hop.

- Mm-hm.

- It has come to the
attention of the Goblin Court

that there may be interlopers
of a highly dangerous nature

attending this Bloom.
- I knew it.

- Therefore, it is my
utmost responsibility

to see to the safety and security

of those vassals of his
majesty the Goblin King.

Given that I am aware

of the fact that whoever you may be,

it is not one Gwyndolin Thistle-hop,

you have risen quite high

in my list of dangerous individuals.

Do you have a means of dispelling

this suspicion on my behalf?

- I do, but I first have
to ask you a question.

And since you are speaking
plainly, I expect that,

and would expect you to
continue to do so, right?

- I do not have the
verbal guile to mislead,

so in this manner, you
may trust in my honesty.

- It's true, this dude's shit for lying.

- He's...
- So nice. Wait a minute.

Your servant said the same thing.

- First of all, Binx is not a servant.

They were just doing me a favor,

because they are the only one
of the Court of Craft left.

It's fine!

I need to ask you.

How do you feel about the Court of Wonder?

And I need you to speak plainly,

understanding that I am not...

I just, I need to know if I can trust you,

and I feel that I can trust everyone here.

- A request made for honesty.

- Yes, please.

(Brennan clears throat)

- Courts are large,

and they encompass multitudes,

and there are those of
us who can contradict

the nature of our court.

I must make it clear

that if I speak in castigation

of certain elements of a fey
court, that it does not extend

to each and every member of that court.

- Yes.

- I find the fairies
of the Court of Wonder

to be arrogant, vain,
haughty, small-minded,

and of a nature most
unbecoming to those of us

who wish to uphold true values,
like rumpus and mischief!

- I knock over a ventriloquist's
dummy by accident.

I just shook by that.

- This tailor is fucked up!

- As you knock it over, I'm gonna say,

Rue, are you, sorry, I don't want to...

- No, no. What?

- I don't mean to, I
understand that some members

of that court herein are
present, Delloso de la Rue.

(Aabria snickering)

- This is so shitty!

- Scorple knows everything.
- I'm going to look and say,

obviously this does not
extend, what I mean to say-

- I fully understand, and
please, speak plainly as-

- What I will say is this.
A fish rots from the head.

- Wow, that's really profound.

- And as such,

as any true goblin would attest,

the insult paid to our
court time and time again

from that rake, ruffian, and
rapscallion, Prince Apollo

is at the end of its long suffering!

- Yeah!
- If the Court of Wonder

is to recover its lost station-

- Brap!
- Then Prince Apollo

will pay, and pay soon, for the
insult he has already given!

- What insult is it?

- The Viscountess Grabalba's honor

will be avenged!

(Aabria squawks)

- Can I please be out of here?
- Yeah, I'm sorry.

- Thank you! (screams)
- Did you hear that, cousin?

There's yelling off in the distance!

- [Surena] A tailor's in the
middle of fucking nowhere.

- I will say, that is my
opinion, freely given,

of the Court of Wonder.

Do you ask because you mean to...

I do not believe that
you are of that court.

Not who you truly are.

- You would be absolutely correct.

And I, like, change into,

because while you were pontificating,

I was already starting to
kind of shimmer a little bit.

You're right, hi.
(Brennan sputtering)

- Binx is Gwyn, and Gwyn is Binx!

- I know!
- You knew?

- Of course I knew, yeah.
I figured it out yesterday.

- Well, shit!

- I knew. You dummy.

- I'm gonna eat Scorple.

They only live for like six hours.

- The irony of that,

because they were thinking
about how hungry they were

and they got eaten, is fascinating.

- The idea that they only live six hours!

- Yes, Lieutenant Gorebladder

is actually a lineage of Gorebladders.

- Yes, hereditary title.

- Gorebladder's great great
great great great great great

grandfather started working
for me a couple days ago.

- A three hour death save,
they got like 40 minutes.

- Yeah, so we all know.

I'm very happy that you came,

because the Court of Wonder
has swallowed my court.

I am the last one, as I said, as I stated,

but that is not without conflict,

and that is not without action.

Fey, we don't die.

We turn into other things.

We get stuck, we get trapped.

We become things

in the material world,

and I believe that the Court of Wonder

is responsible for this.

And again, not all Court of
Wonder people, of course,

but Apollo most especially,

so if you are planning
to take down Apollo,

then count me right in, because I...

I think that the Court
of Wonder has done...

Has done too much and has gotten
away with it for too long.

- I look at you.

(Brennan chortling darkly)

- I start playing with my jack-in-the-box.

I don't know what to do.

- I can't imagine this meeting
having gone any better.

How exciting!

And I'm going to step towards
you real quick and say,

what we need this this.

I'll grab some tailor's cloth off a bench,

spread it out on the thing, and go,

the Court of Wonder has
set itself up to absorb

the vast majority of the Bloom's magic.

They have swept the Court
of Sea Foam to the side,

pulled much attention for themself.

Apollo was trying with all his might

to grab the Crystal Heart.

There is and I'm going
to start sketching out

Unseelie, goblin, and I look up and say-

- I'm going to grab some
red string from the tailor's

and I'm going to start
connecting your guys.

- Ms. Choppley.
- Yes.

- I am of the opinion that your court

shares common cause with my own.

- It's just me, so I absolutely do.

- You can speak for a unanimous
grouping of your court, yes.

We have both been wronged in our own time

by the Court of Wonder
and perhaps are seen

by certain factions within the fey realms

as lesser fey.

- I mean, that's why I never...

We never went to any Blooms.

You know, it was a lot
of bows and curtsies,

and people don't spit when they curtsy,

you know what I mean?

There's things that are wrong here,

and so we just, we stayed at home.

- I look at this schematic
with the red yarn,

and I'm going to look to
Andhera, and I'm gonna stand up

and just look over at Rue and say,

Master of Ceremonies, you have dwelt long

with the Court of Wonder, and
to all outward appearance,

it is indeed your court,

and we speak of it in
a manner quite hostile.

I would not suffer anyone
near me to speak so

of the Goblin Court in my presence,

but I notice that you have
remained stoic and silent.

Has anything myself or Ms.
Choppley said given you pause?

If you seek satisfaction,
I would understand,

but I wish to know the
manner of your silence.

- To be honest, Captain Hob,

I am feeling a little
bit torn at the moment.

And while Rue's saying this,

they are deeply fighting emotions

as they stare into Hob's beautiful eyes.

- Can I say that that's
reflected in the cloud?

It's changing form.
- Ooh, yeah.

- Yes, I am part of the Court of Wonder.

I speak and am a representative
of the Court of Wonder.

One might associate what I do at the Bloom

with the Court of Wonder,

but I have never felt one with them.

I don't

belong anywhere.

The Court of Wonder is my
home, but I'm never there.

When I saw Gwyndolin at the Bloom,

I should've recognized her, but I didn't,

because I don't know anyone anymore.

The reason why I am the Master
of Ceremonies at the Bloom

is to get away

from a place that has hurt me deeply.

And yet, I feel a sense of
loyalty to the Court of Wonder.

As you say these things,
I want to implore,

and you, the scathing things
you've said about Apollo,

I want to say, are you sure?

What are you basing this on?

- I think that, you know,

it is worth looking, right?

I mean, even if it's not him,

if he's just doing his own thing

or whatever, then we'll know.

But if he is pulling the strings-

- By the way, you're
reading my mind right now.

So when Rue describes

a place that is your
home that you never go,

and a feeling of loyalty to a place

you feel you don't belong,

all Hob can think of is all those nights

marching by the bonfire

as far away from the goblin
rumpus as he could get,

and just thinking of what it means to have

the only root you have

not feed you,

and all he wants to do in that moment

is comfort Rue and say that

everything they said was so

deeply felt and understood,

and the only thing Hob would
disagree with that Rue said

was that they don't belong anywhere,

and that Hob knows that they do.

All of that is surface, as
Hob literally loses focus

for that moment, and comes back and goes,

the matter at hand is this.

Though you have spent long years

far away from the court you call home,

and though you are not
truly Gwyndolin Thistle-hop,

you two are the closest thing

I as a goblin have as an
insight into that court.

Do I know these things of
Prince Apollo? I wish I did.

My victories on the
battlefield bought our court

a rare window of opportunity

to rise in station,

to enjoy the acclaim and
honor enjoyed by other courts,

and my victories were used

to begin a suitorship

with the Prince Apollo and
the Viscountess Grabalba,

though I will deny it
if it is said in public.

When that was called off,
our opportunity was lost,

and we have been looking for the person

who was at cause to
cancel that engagement.

If either of you know who that was,

and if it is not Prince Apollo,
we will seek satisfaction

from who actually did
us wrong, but of course,

the possibility remains
that it was not one person,

and that the entire affair was
a charade from the beginning

and was never meant to
be an honest engagement.

Do either of you know who
could have been at cause?

Or is our belief that there
was one malefactor a delusion,

and in fact there was never a hope

of a goblin alliance
with the Court of Wonder?

- Hob, I...

You were the reason

why Grabalba and Apollo

were to wed?

- Well, the victories over
the Unseelie at the battle,

well, and you know, no hard feelings.

- It was a great fight.

By the way, this is how I speak,

and it's the smallest revelation

of all the ones at this meeting.

That's it, just wanted to
address that really quick

so you didn't feel left out, that's it.

- Your voice is so different.

- Oh shit, you didn't know either!

- No, I didn't.

- Because I was planning
on telling you later!

So both of you, yes, anyway, great fight.

- The K in K.P. stands for Knickolas.

- What?

- The K in K.P. stands for Knickolas.

- Honestly, at that moment,

Rue's whole exterior

completely shatters,

takes a huge sigh. (sighs)

And very clearly, surface level thought.

I love him.

- And on that, we sort of
have the camera pan down

and we see this constellation
of ideas and conspiracies,

half thoughts and hopes and suspicions,

and then we pan up and look at a night sky

full of stars and a massive crescent moon

rising over the horizon as other fey

with other priorities and
other deals move about.

We see the contingent
of the Sea Foam Court

moving towards the
proposed meeting ground,

and we see a messenger

clad in gaudy, gold armor

carrying an envelope

that is truly just reflective gold,

carrying it up to the nest
of the Lords of the Wing

as an invitation from
Prince Apollo himself

to have a drink and some
laughs at a private parlor

in the dead of night, is
delivered, a bit of fun.

And we will see you again
next time for chapter seven

of "A Court of Fey & Flowers".

(all shouting merrily)

- I have heard stories
that the Court of Craft

is in need of magic.

- And at this, you hear
Alven kind of... (coughs)

- What's that?

- Oh, well, I mean.

- But it is true that
Grandfather's coming,

I need a match, I need to put out feelers.

- There is much yet to learn.

My next move will be to
challenge the Prince Apollo

to a duel, but there are cleverer of us

in this conspiracy than myself.

I shall wait to make any move.

- My heart is beating so fast,

because his hand is so close to my bosom.

- That's why I reached out.

- Can I say the cloud is throbbing

as I'm still picking up on your thoughts?

- Disgusting.

- We're gonna Bloom like it's 1999!

- Which again, you've
got to tell me about.

That sounds like a crazy year.