Dimension 20 (2018-…): Season 15, Episode 2 - The Great Hart Hunt - full transcript

Letters are sent, gifts are given, and unexpected connections are made as the Bloom takes shape.

Are you wondering how healthy the food you are eating is? Check it - foodval.com
---
(regal music)

- To the churlish Captain K.P. Hob,

venerated soldier of the Goblin Court,

to the Master of Ceremonies
Delloso de la Rue,

pride of the Court of Wonder

to the illustrious Gwyndolin Thistle-hop

of the Court of Wonder

to the tenebrous Prince Andhera,
scion of the Unseelie Court

and to the notorious Lords of the Wing,

Lady Chirp Featherfowl,
Countess of Cluckingham,

and Lord Squak Airavis,
Earl of Peckersburg.



Honored Archfey, we are
delighted to welcome you

to "A Court of Fey & Flowers."

Greetings and welcome to Dimension 20's

"A Court of Fey & Flowers."

I am your highborn Fey DM, Aabria Iyengar,

and with me tiptoeing through the tulips

are my wonderful Pack of Pixies.

Say hi, Pack of Pixies.

- [Players] Hi, Pack of Pixies.

- Last time when we first met,

we got a lovely set of introductions

as we met each of our Archfey

in their home territory

and eventually brought them



to the Seafoam Court's tidal island

and the beginning of the Bloom.

We saw the spectacularly
bird-filled arrival

of the Lords of the Wing.
(players laughing)

And we had our first
interactions with the secrets

and rumors that underpin and uphold

and hold our Fey society out
and away from each other.

But the Bloom has properly begun now.

It's day two, and it's time to begin,

so let's begin with chapter two;

"The Great Hart Hunt."

So I want to begin this
with an opportunity

to explore one of our mechanics

that just gets us right in that...

regency high status vibe

so we're going to explore
our first epistolary phase.

So each of you will have two opportunities

to write a letter to someone
here, to someone at home,

or to command a letter from someone else.

Correspondence is important here

because under the scrutiny
of all of the other Archfey

who have their own
machinations and plans in mind,

the surreptitious trade
of information is crucial

to people's plots and plans.

So I'm going to open the floor to you.

Who would like to write a letter?

- I have one written, and thus-

- Oh, okay!
- Oh, written?

- And thus I will send it.

(Brennan gasps)
- [Aabria] Yes!

- It is to Delloso de la Rue.

(Aabria claps)

"To the most masterful of
ceremonies, Delloso de la Rue.

I've realized it would behoove me

to inquire about the specifics
of our glorious little wager.

My cousin and I, of course,

were caught in the spirit of
the eventful moment you crafted

and did not want to let you down

in setting the Bloom
off on the right foot.

Also, I would never want
you to think me ungrateful

in forgetting to thank you

for engaging us in this little game.

To demonstrate our growth
before our many friends

is the greatest gift of all.

Yours in glee and light, Lord
Airavis, Earl of Peckersburg.

(players clapping)
- Wow!

- That's great.

- [Aabria] So my question for you is...

- There you go.
- Oh shit.

- [Aabria] How does this letter, yes.

- That is the reply in
full entourage of birds

that truly clogs an entire hallway.

- Like in presidential security.

- Truly, there's one ostrich
with the letter in its mouth

and then just a shit ton of birds.

Of course doves pulling said ostrich.

It does not need walk.
(cast laughing)

- Can the other birds
just pick the ostrich up?

- Oh, exactly.
- Oh my God.

- The ostrich hates it though.
- Yes.

Yeah, yeah, if you make an
insight check on that ostrich,

it's not happy.
(cast laughing)

But the delivery of this message

is clearly from the Lords of the Wing

and clearly delivered
to Delloso de la Rue.

And I am in that way demanding a response.

- Ooh.
- Demanding?

- I love that. You can
think on that if you want.

And if you choose to refuse
a response, that's an option

but will come with a social price.

- Of course.
- So take your time.

Decide what you want to do there.

First letter's down.
(players laughing)

I will also say, y'all don't have

to physically write the letter down.

You can use your imaginations
and just wiggle the feather.

- Yes.
- But do what you feel-

- Well, I did that 'cause
I knew I wanted to do it.

And yeah, I'm sorry for
setting a bad example.

- You're perfect and hey,

you're perfect and beyond reproach.

- I quit!
- No!

- (laughs) Cousin!

- I'm done.
(players laughing)

Squak is just crying.

We didn't read the wager!

- What have we done.
Cousin, we are ruined!

- We are ruined!

- I will say it has become a little bit

of the talk amongst your
tier and your peer cohort

that such an excessive display

was implemented in sending a letter.

It was very obvious you
wanted everyone to know

that a correspondence was happening,

and it has been so noted.

Does anyone else have a letter
they would like to send?

- Ahem.
(cast laughing)

- Is your quill filled with blood?

- Thump!
(cast laughing)

To the exclaimable Lady,

Gwyndolin Thistle-hop,

seeing as the Sun has begun its
descent over the far horizon

I would like to bestow
upon you an invitation

to walk with the Lord and Lady Blemish

under my chaperoneship
and speak of matters

concerning the Court of Wonder,

the court of most high honor and praise.

We wish for all manner of civility

and of political union between our courts

even in the absence of such ties

as there might exist
elsewhere in the Fey Realms.

Yours in honor...

Scratch out honor, nastiness.
(cast laughing)

Captain K.P. Hob.

- Amazing.

(paper flapping)

- What's up?
(Brennan spits)

- That was amazing actually.
- Whoa!

- That was rad as shit.

How is the note delivered?

- Just like that.

I literally chew it in
my mouth a little bit

and spit it across the party.

- And I catch it with one hand.

- Incredible. Amazing.

- Those are good reflexes
for just a lady of the court.

- Mm.
- Ooh.

- Reflexes noted.

- I write a letter addressed
to Lady Chirp Featherfowl.

- (gasps) Tell me.
(cast laughing)

- My dearest lady, it was
so good to see you again

after so many years.

I look forward to many
festivitous... festivity..

...festivitous nights and events.

Sincerely, Andhera.

And that's delivered by my advisor.

(Emily laughs)

- A full creep in the middle of the night.

- I'm sorry, I'm turning a new feather.

Turning a new beak.

I can't entertain creeps in the night.

- Uh, I, I...

- Oh, you have a letter for me.

- Oh God, thank, yes, please, yes.

- Thank you.

- And you see he goes a
little red at the ears

and immediately turns and walks away.

- Ah. (clears throat)

- I'd like to also add,
if you look carefully,

if you angle the letter against the light

you will see that there
clearly on the papers above

were other drafts of that letter

(laughs) that the imprint is...

- All those indentations.
- [Omar] Yeah.

- Hmm, hmm, Cousin.

- Yes.

- (chuckles) I require councel.

- Of course.

- I've received a letter
from Lord Andhera.

- Already, pillar boy?

- Yes, yes, pillar boy.

- Also, do we stop calling him pillar boy

now that he's hot as shit?

- I know.

Well like you said, he's a
whole new kind of pillar.

- Exactly.

- What should I do?

- I mean, he the most eligible bachelor.

- Yes, you're right.
- I mean, to hold his eye

is to hold the eye of all
those who are attracted to him

so I don't think there's
anything to be lost in engaging.

- Okay. (clears throat)

I will take this letter

and I think I will write back

and say, "Lord Andhera, kind certainly.

Time certainly has been kind to you,

and I intend to do the same."
- Perfect.

- "Looking forward to trying
those drugs you gave me."

(cast laughing)

- Cousin, Cousin!
- What, what?

I scratch it out, I scratch it out.

"Looking forward to a
pleasant, well-behaved time.

Lady Featherfowl, P.S., looking forward

to trying those drugs you gave me."

- I will allow it as a postscript.

- Okay, okay, okay.

And then I find just

such a way too well-fed peacock

and give it to them.

- This one fat peacock slowly
waddling across dispatches.

- Takes a long time.

- Yeah, you get a response back...

- [Emily] The most decadent.
- In the dead of night.

And you just hear it pecking at your door.

- Ah, the response to the
first of my two letters.

I wonder if Lord Squak Airavis
also received his letter

(Emily gasps)
worded exactly the same way.

(cast laughing)
- Whoa!

- Amazing.
- No!

- You're playing games!
- Oh, hold on, wait, wait.

There's actually two letters.

They're stuck to each other.

- [Oscar] No, hold on, hold on, hold on.

- [Emily] Hold on!

- Would you have advised Advisor

to deliver them simultaneously?

- In terms of thinking
through this, I'm not sure

necessarily the game plan
Andhera was putting together.

I'll just tell you the
facts of what happened.

- Okay.
- Andhera wrote the letter

to Lady Chirp Featherfowl,
sent it to Advisor

and in the time that it took Advisor

to wander from one location to the next,

Andhera wrote the second
letter because they knew

it would just take that amount
of time to write this letter.

There was no, necessarily, strategy aside

from just being like, this seems to be

the most efficient use of my time.

- [Aabria] Okay, I love it.

- And then gave it to
Advisor shortly after

so there would have been like
a, I don't know, a 15-minute.

I don't know how long
it takes Advisor to go,

but it would be double that, three times.

- I think it would have taken Advisor

like 20 minutes to go from your apartments

within that palace to
outside where your nest is.

And by the time he came back

and got the second letter, is this sealed?

Can he read what's in the note?

- Oh, I think it has to be
sealed to make it seem official.

- Okay.

- So no, he can't. No, I don't think so.

No, it's sealed. It's got
a wax seal and everything.

- Okay.

- Actually, it's got a crystal gem

that's pressed into it 'cause it's magic.

(Aabria laughing)
- What is-

- Wax is basic material stuff.
We can fuck with some stones.

- [Aabria] There we go.

- Yeah, so there's a little stone pressed.

- [Aabria] The old smushy stone on there.

- Mm-hmm, yeah.

- And since he has no
idea it's a carbon copy

of the first one he
gives you a weird a look

and will immediately go and
deliver the second note.

- Hey, I'm sorry. I've grown.

I don't do any treats anymore.

- I was just here-
- I understand, I get it.

Like one Bloom ago, it would have been on,

but I'm a different guy.
- Hate this interaction.

(cast laughing)

- Oh, it's, oh.

Oh, oh! Okay, thank you.

I also really received a letter.

- Well, open it.
- Okay. (laughs)

- I'm gonna go. And he
just turns and runs.

- Yeah, sorry, yeah.

- [Emily] Please do before
we make you this cake.

- Normally we would offer
you drugs, but go please.

- Is that?
- It's the same letter.

- Huh, it is.

Wow, well, there's one
capitalized letter there

that isn't here.
- Oh, yes.

And this time he didn't...

No, no, yeah, this is the same
letter. No, this the same-

- The spelling errors are the same.

- Yeah, it's the same one.
He scratched out the same.

That same scratch in
yours, he did it again.

- Cousin, this is only a fantastic thing.

The most eligible bachelor
at the entire Bloom

is pursuing both of us.
- At the same time.

- With a homogeneity to
the pursuit, but still.

- But do you believe it to
be some sort of throuple

he's attempting to engage us in?

Or do you think he's attempting

to pit us against one another?

(Emily gasps)
The games he's playing.

They're deep and insightful.

- Cousin, I would never
be pit against you.

- And I would never be pit against you.

- I think that you should respond

with the same exact thing I responded.

- Okay, well I'll have to do it tomorrow

since I already sent all
of my birds to carry them.

(cast laughing)

All the birds I could have
deliver a letter, I have.

But I'll speak to him.
- Yes, that's good.

- I'll speak to him the next chance I get.

- Yes, ooh, and in the
meantime he'll wonder,

he will be tortured by the thought.

- Yes, yes Cousin.

- Have I insulted the Lords of the Wing?

- Yes, Cousin, yes!
- Oh, he will be tortured.

- Oh, the games we are playing.

- Ah.
- This mature thing,

I feel like we're really growing into it.

- We really are, we really
are because right now

every other Bloom right now we were...

- Just knee deep, knee deep.
- Knee deep, beak deep.

- In sexual, beak deep
in sexual bond. Oh, wow.

- But I'm gonna go to bed early.

- Same.

- I think right around that time

you hear a very faint
tapping at the edge of your,

your house has a door, yeah?
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's basically a mansion

that just looks like it's built of twigs.

- Love it, sweet. A tiny
tapping at the front door.

- Cousin, are you expecting someone?

- I don't believe so.

I'm gonna go, I'll open the door.

- You see a tiny, little wooden automaton

that's like a little ballet dancer.

- Oh.
- Oh no.

- That does a very short,
it's like two minutes long.

- Oh shit, shit. (laughs)
- A very intricate ballet.

And ends with their arms in the position

that would dictate three o'clock-

- Cousin, did you get sexted?

- I believe this is a sext.

- Oh!
- Uh...

Can I pick up the little-
- Of course you can.

She happily climbs into your hands.

- I need you to return to your master

and please let them know that I am...

...Unwell.

(Brennan laughing)

- Oh, oh, that's lovely.
Say you're terribly sick.

- I am...

I am (coughs lightly) as
you can see, terribly ill.

And I would request their audience

following the next sunrise
if that would be possible.

(Lou blows)
(cast laughing)

- You, clunk.
(cast laughing)

- Oh shit, oh God, oh God. Call a doctor!

- I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

- Her arm fully breaks off.

- Oh no!

- [Aabria] She grabs it together.

- Shit!

- Like drops off of point
and just looks up at you,

flips you off with a broken-off arm.

- I'm unwell!
- [Aabria] And just walks.

- Don't you see? I'm unwell.

- Just this tiny,
three-inch-tall wooden figure

is just walking.

It's going to take forever for
them to get back to Capricia.

- Oh God.

- Okay, I will summon a flock of familiars

to escort this little wooden thing.

- Okay, what do you summon? Talk to me.

Paint me a word picture.

- Do you want to impress this person or...

- Well, we just need to keep
them on this train, you know?

And I think a hard no is a bad, would not,

a rejection of their affection
would not behoove us.

I believe we just need to keep them around

and keep them in our good graces

so I think slightly impressive.

Not desperate, not hungry.

- Okay.
- [Lou] Just enough.

- A flock of turkeys.
- [Lou] Yes.

- A flock of turkeys!
(cast laughing)

Amazing, one of them sort of leans in

with their big sort of striped feathers,

allows this little ballerina
automaton to climb on

and then one takes up the pole position

and they're giving like a flying V

but waddling as just seven-

- A walking V.
- Yeah, a walking V.

- [Emily] A waddling V.
- [Lou] Yes.

- Just waddles back towards the palace.

- Cousin, what would I do without you?

- Ah, what would I do without you?

(Lou chuckles)
- Aw, that was sweet.

- Well yeah, we're family
and we're nice to each other.

- Yeah.
- I love my cousin.

(Emily laughs)
- Amazing, anyone else?

- I'm gonna write back to K.P. Hob here.

- [Aabria] Yes.
- Captain Hob

And receiving the letter it's damp, right?

I'm assuming it was in your mouth.

- Yes.

- Great, cool, cool, cool. Unfold it.

- This was at a party, so are
you responding at the party?

- I am, yeah.
- [Aabria] Okay.

- So immediately I find a
little bench and I write,

"Dear Captain Hob.

Dear Captain K.P. Hob," oh God.

"I would be so delighted to accompany you,

Boil, and Blemish on a walk.

I feel like there is
much we can talk about

and much I can learn from
you because it's important

that we in the Court of
Wonder understand each other

and work together to repair
things that may have been lost.

So let me know and I'll
bring a picnic basket

and we can have lunch.

Signed with glee, Gwyndolin."

I fold it, I walk right up to you.

- Oh!
(Emily laughs)

- And I hand it to you.

- My lady.

I accept.
(players laughing)

- That's amazing!

- (laughs) A little Goblin parlor trick.

And I offer my elbow.

- I take it.

- Are you still bleeding from the...

- Yeah, are you, um,
is this fine? Are you?

Do you, um...
- Oh, sorry. (spits)

This way.
- Thank you!

- Wow, a Goblin's mouth is incredible.

(cast laughing)
It's a bandaid...

- You don't know the
half of it, Lord Airavis.

- I need both of you to
give me a performance check.

We're gonna average your scores

'cause all of that happened in full view

of members of society.

And whoever wants to say
they're at that party.

- I'll be watching. Why not?

- [Aabria] They're absolutely there, yeah.

These are sort of
removed from linear time.

- Oh.
- [Oscar] That's 21.

- 21.
- 22.

- Oh my God.

- My Battle Master maneuver

also lets me add it to performance.

- Oh.

- So I'm like that crisp, very upstanding

and is clearing the way
for the Lady Gwyndolin,

and is definitely like, Captain
Hob is a stick in the mud,

but as long as he doesn't have to talk,

he can do the courtly performance.

It's a pleasure and an honor.

Thank you for doing the kindness

of being seen walking arm in
arm with one such as myself.

- Why did you say, "to be seen with"?

You're here. You were invited
just like all of us, right?

- No, perhaps that is an old
fashioned and fussy notion,

but I'm of the opinion that honor

cannot be obtainable without
the possibility of dishonor

and so in order to be
deemed of worth and value

it is necessary at times
to walk a perilous path

and engage in actions that
may result in failure.

I dwell often on what I might
have done better as a captain,

military man, and as a servant

of His Majesty the Goblin King.

I understand that you yourself are looking

to serve the Court of Wonder here.

Is this your first Bloom?

- Yes, this is my first Bloom,

and I'm learning so much already.

I didn't know you can come uncourted

or not belonging to a court.

- Well, the Lords of the Wing

certainly have that well under beak.

- Amazing.
(players laughing)

- Are you trying to hide any
part of this conversation?

- We're walking out, yeah.

- Yeah, I think we're going off

to just see some sunset over the sea foam.

- Oh, I hear you. I said
what the fuck I said.

Are you trying to hide any
part of this conversation?

'Cause there's people everywhere.

- [Brennan] I don't think
Captain Hob has said anything-

- No, I don't think so.

- That he would have a hard time.

It's not a secret that
the Lords of the Wing

don't belong to a court.
- Yeah.

(Lou chuckling)
- [Aabria] Noted, continue.

- I mean, keep my name outta your mouth.

(players laughing)
(Brennan clapping)

- I think the fact that my name

is in your mouth is the problem.

- There we go.

- So, you are the younger sister

of the Blue Fairy of legend.

I've heard many tales of her work.

She turned a wooden boy into a living-

- Into a living thing, yes.

- Wha?
- She did, wow.

- What a nightmare. Incredible work.

- A lot of cool things she
did, that's so awesome.

I mean yes, it's great,

but it's like, she talks about
it a lot, like every day.

- Certainly-
- Like she wakes up

and she talks about it

and then she goes to
bed and talks about it.

And I'm just like, "Yeah, I get it.

Like, I know what you did."

Like, it's cool, but like,
everyone, I don't know,

is still very excited about
it and it's good for her.

Good for her.
- Yes.

Well, I mean only to say that your family

is of great stature.
- [Surena] Yes.

- And does great work.
- Thank you.

- Goblins live their entire lives

trying to do something as nightmarish

as bringing a wooden boy to life.

- Um, since we're getting
to know each other,

what would you say

is the most nightmarish thing you've done?

- Oh!
(Emily chuckles)

- The most nightmarish thing I've done.

- Or that you're proud of.

- Oh yes, that I'm proud of.
- [Surena] Yes.

- I once ate a wagon.

- What? An entire wagon?

- I just pulled my mouth wide.

- Whoa, you can do that?
- Yes.

It was, I will say, a
smaller than average wagon.

- The sizes of the Fairy Realm's-

- Oh, it was like a mini wagon.

- Yes, certainly, but the tiny
little goats didn't like it

so it was pretty nightmarish for them.

(players laughing)

May I inquire?
- Sure.

- You are yourself a member
of the Court of Wonder,

and I know you are the younger
sister of the Blue Fairy.

And I will only say that
occasionally a man of low grace

such as myself blunders
into overly praising

that which he has been taught to praise.

I can say that your sister's
miracles are of wide repute,

but in our short time
meeting I know for certain

that the miracles you
produce will surely be

of great testament to your
house and your family as well.

- I sure hope so.

That's why I'm here, actually.

Between us, and I kind of lean in,

I don't know if you know a lot

about what's happening
within the Court of Wonder.

Do you know much?

- I do not but I'm (mimics
ears whipping) all ears.

- I can confide in you then, right?

- Of course.

- Well, it seems that
there's a lot of, um...

We don't take the time to
get to know everyone, right?

We are sequestered in whatever we're doing

and we're so focused on the fireworks

and the prestige of
everything that we forget

where we belong, and
that's with everybody else.

We're not better than anybody else.

And that's kind of what I want to do here.

So it is an honor for me to talk to you,

and... um... yeah,

I-I hope that we can continue
future conversations.

- It is... humbling

to hear your candor, Lady Thistle-hop.

And I am honored by the trust

and confidence you place in me.

The truth of your words rings out,

and each court has its own struggles

with those member of its highest echelons

that may from time to time forget

that each and all of us
are Fairy in our own right.

- Mm-hmm.

- I know it caused some
great pain recently

to some members of my court

that certain judgements were made.

- And I think those judgements
were incredibly unfair.

- I think you see Captain
Hob be moved by that.

Would it be possible to
make an insight check

to see if I'm being flattered
or if this is honest?

- Please do.

Please roll this against
your persuasion or deception.

Don't tell us which.

- I got a six.
- [Aabria] Oh.

- 27.
- Oh!

- Oh! (laughs)

So whatever you want me to
believe is what I will believe.

- Yeah, yeah. She's telling you the truth.

- It is very meaningful.

And forgive my plodding,

clumsy nature in these manners.

I am a much better speaker
with a blade than with words.

I take from your words that if
you regard the decisions made

by the Court of Wonder
recently as mistakes

that you were not in fact
the one who made them.

And I suppose as well

that it would be improper

to ask for you to divulge
any more of the workings

of your own court than you already have.

But if I may be so bold as to ask this.

There are some members of your court

that are not in and of your court.

- Really, like what?

- It has often been said
that Delloso de la Rue

walks in circles of their own
and keeps their own counsel.

I wonder if it would not
seem improper or a breach

of the vows of fealty
you owe to your court

to ask perhaps if you
have heard of any counsel

from the direction of that magnificent Rue

that perhaps certain engagements
were better left unengaged.

- I see. Well...

- Well, it seems like both of
you are having a great time.

(Brennan screams)

- Yes!
(Emily laughing)

- Captain Hob, Gwyndolin.

- Rue, hello.
- Hello.

(Brennan slaps head and claps hands)

- And I...

- Yeah, I attempt to do the same salute.

- Honestly, you're never
supposed to do the same one twice

so I've already messed it up.

- It's fine. How are you
enjoying this beautiful sunset?

- Fabulous, there are many small
fowl for eating and it's...

(players laughing)
- And for riding.

Those are giant ostriches.

- Those fowl are not
exclusively for eating.

- No, no?

- That one pelican that
keeps grabbing the fish

looks at you.
(players laughing)

- We'll see whose mouth is
bigger in a moment, you pelican.

- Waddles away faster.

- I don't want to interrupt,
but I already have, it seems.

- Oh, it's never an interruption.
You're the party, hello.

- Oh, no, no, no, I just want to make sure

everything is quite all right.

- You don't have a drink
in your hand. Are you okay?

- Oh, no, no, no, I'm
just checking in on people

and seeing how they are.

I will take this opportunity

to ask you for some time.

Whenever you're done
with this conversation.

- I've taken up too much
of your time as it is

with my blathering so
maybe I will leave you

to attend your courtly matters,

but the Lord Blemish and the Lady Boil

will be desirous of your company
whenever you have a moment

to head over to the Goblin Pagoda.

And gestures to a...
(players laughing)

And gestures to just like a reeking,

flaming trash heap.

- Yeah, they're just out
there throwing it back.

- Look at them make it clap.
(players laughing)

None can shake it like Goblins.

If you'll excuse me I must away. (growls)

- (laughs) Hello, Rue.

- Hi, Gwyndolin. May we speak in private?

- Oh, of course.

- I must away to a more secluded area.

- Oh, sure.

- Do you mind following me?

- Yes, are we going into
that dark corner right there?

- Yes, where the sound doesn't reach.

- I see.

- And there was no beat in that corner.

- And Gwyndolin, you do notice
as you're kind of turning

and following Rue that yeah,

where you were standing and
talking, your voices carried.

You made no attempt to be
quiet, and there are several Fey

who have been actively paying
attention to this interaction.

- Oof.
- And the moment it broke up

they kind of look at each other

and scurry off into their
corners to tell this new

and interesting things that
they've learned tonight.

- Who's that?
- What?

- Who is it?
- What?

- Who are those people?
- What?

(cast laughing)
I don't know.

I'm having a mature
morning eating breakfast.

- Hmm, now...

- Hi.

- That it is just the two of us.

- Yes, it is so good to
talk to you, by the way.

I've been a huge fan of
yours for a very long time.

The last party you threw
was just wow, incredible.

- How do you know about
the last party I threw?

- I've heard about it from my sister.

- Mm, the Blue Fairy, yes.
- Mm-hmm.

- Well, I'll get right to the point.

- Sure!

- Earlier.
- [Surena] Yeah?

- There was a moment where a watchful eye

would have clocked we made eye contact

that lasted a bit too
long, wouldn't you say?

- It was nice.
- Hmm.

- Was it not nice?
(cast laughing)

- Uh, no, it was nice. It was nice but-

- You have very beautiful eyes.

- Thank you.

I do think that I'm
afraid that some people

might be having thoughts
about our relationship

seeing that we're both
in the Court of Wonder.

- Sure.

- And I want to make it absolutely clear.

- What?

- That from now on.
- Mm-hmm.

- We keep the appearances
that we know each other.

- Well, why don't we just know each other?

I can just know you.
Tell me about yourself.

- (chuckles) My dear Gwyndolin,

this must be the first Bloom
that you've ever attended.

- It is.
(Emily laughing)

- Well-
- Everybody's so weird.

- My dear, things like this
aren't usually done this way.

- I see.

- I don't particularly know you.

- Right, that's why we can
just play like a question game

or something like, I'll say like,

okay, what's your favorite, um, ooh,

like a play that you've ever seen?

Or, or, what's your favorite
like, jungle animal?

You know what I mean?

- From now on...
(players laughing)

I would like for us to keep appearances

that we know each other.

That we at least recognize each other.

- Oh, sure.

- Because I've never
seen you before and...

- Mm-hmm. I've only heard about you.

- Mm-hmm, and people can't
know that, do you understand?

- Well, our court's so big it makes sense

that maybe we don't know
each other, but sure.

- Sure, of course.

No, there's tons of valid reasons

why we don't know each other.

- I just feel like you're
acting very strange.

- I am acting very strange.
- Yeah.

- Because I don't think
we're understanding-

- I would like to understand why.

- I'm nudging you right now.

- I need of you to give me a
stealth check with disadvantage

as it's getting a little more heated.

- Oh my God, Rue's just killing it.

Rue is ice cold. (laughs)

- [Brennan] Love it.

- What is it, you said stealth?

- [Aabria] Yeah.
- Okay.

- Seven.
- 21.

(players laughing)

- [Aabria] Rue...

- I think Surena's 20th level.
(cast laughing)

- Rue-
- [Lou] It's all twos

and threes over there.
- As you are getting

a little more heated that Gwyn

doesn't seem to be getting
what you're putting down,

you notice that you're in this space.

And even as you're getting a little louder

and a little more ebullient in the space,

the shadows seem to hug
around you a little more.

- [Oscar] Hm...

- That this place that was
just a dark little alcove

in a corner away from
sound and away from halls

that would carry is taking
on a different feeling.

It feels more like a place between places.

And even as you are gesticulating

and your eyes kind of
move out and around you,

you notice that if you let Gwyn's visage

reach the periphery of
your vision you lose her.

- [Oscar] Hmm...

- But this place is secure.
No one hears, continue.

- Wait, can I make an insight check?

- [Aabria] Sure.
- Or just like explaining

what the heck is going on?
- Yeah.

- Let's call it arcana.
(Omar gasps)

- Oh. (sputters) Damn.

11.
- I gave you inspiration

at the top of the campaign.

If you want to use it here, you can reroll

if you want a better chance
at figuring out what it is.

- I do, I do.
- Cool.

I also give inspiration.

You can't stack it and
I give it out fairly-

- Okay, 17.
- 17.

You're trying to figure
out what's going on,

and you look at her, but the secret of it

is at the very edges of her where she ends

and this darkness begins, and
the magic coming off of her

is that of liminal spaces,
places between places.

A little forgotten, a little out of mind.

An energy and a power that
you haven't experienced

in the Court of Wonder before,

but is indeed wondrous, if strange.

- And Gwyn is unfazed by all of this.

- She looks perfectly at home.

- My dear, I must away.
I have other matters.

I have to write a letter,
as a matter of fact.

- Sure, well, I hope you
enjoy the rest of the party.

- Yes, my dear. Well, it is-

- Yeah, you're.
- I will be enjoying it.

- Okay.
- (clears throat) Excuse me!

(cast laughing)

(Emily laughing)
And I scurry off.

I trip a little 'cause you know,

I am wearing this beautiful little thing.

I'm trying to run, but they're just like-

- You're just like Venus de Milo

coming back to bite you in the ass.

- So I'm running along like,

"Oh no. I hope no one saw that."

And I just scurry off.

- You're able to make your
way back into the party.

We'll move temporarily back
into the epistolary phase

if any responses want to-
- Yeah, I wanna make...

As I'm scurrying away I
do write a letter to...

- [Aabria] Yes. (laughs)

- To Lord Squak.

- Lord Airavis.

- Oh sorry, Airavis. Oh,
we're not on those terms yet?

- Not yet.

If you wanna do the work.

I hear about Rue having
all these conversations

out in the party and yet I await-

- Oh, you've been hearing these.

- Oh, well, I've been awaiting
a response to my letter.

- Okay, okay.

- I sent a shit ton of
birds carrying an ostrich.

(Oscar laughing)

And yet here we are the next
morning. I'm eating breakfast.

- I did receive the
letter and I held on to it

and then I had to do things.
- Oh, we'll see, okay.

- Okay, but now I am
writing you the letter.

- Oh, okay. (claps)

- My dearest Lord Airavis.

It pleases me greatly that
you have written to me

because I was about to do the same thing.

I do agree, the rules set
in place for our wager

were a bit vague, and I would like

to sharpen the rules of this engagement.

I would like to have a tete-a-tete-a-tete

with you, me, and your cousin.

I may steal you away at any
time for tomorrow's event

if it pleases you.

Best regards, Rue.

And at the end of the E, I
put a little heart, dink.

- [Emily] Yeah!
- P.S., I want to remind you

that Fey contracts are binding.

(Brennan laughing)
- Oh!

- And the penalty for
breaking such contracts is,

well, dot, dot, dot.
(cast laughing)

- Yes! (claps)

- Cousin, they hit us with the legalese!

- So I write the letter
and I call out, "Wuvvy!"

- And Wuvvy appears beside you.

- [Oscar] Mm-hmm.

- You have walked back into the party,

and it's warm and comfortable there.

She has popped up next to you
and has all the countenance

of having been somewhere
very out in the open

in the elements and very cold

and somehow has teleported
to you at a whisper.

Yes, what can I do for you?

- Wuvvy, where have you been?

- Um, preparing for tomorrow.

- Yes, keep up the good work, Wuvvy.

Please send this letter
to the two Lords of the...

Please send this letter
to the Lords of the Wing.

- Yeah, they're the only ones
that have like a blurry...

Okay, wait, do you want it like, secret?

- Yes, please, in secret.

- Okay.

And she takes a couple
steps back and away from you

and begins to shake and shiver and wiggle,

and her fur falls away
and the curls fall down,

and she goes from looking
like this sort of quirky,

giant-eyed satyr

to a beautiful, slender,

extremely dark-skinned high
elf with long, pointed ears

and long glossy black hair
and eyes as dark as the sky.

And she gives you a little bow
and turns with her glamor set

and sets off to return the letter.

- She's getting better at her glamors.

- And yes, a Fey you've never seen before

will once again rock
up to your very busy...

- We are so sorry. We are trying to turn,

and we absolutely-

- We understand the precedent.

We completely understand why
you think you can show up here.

- Totally because it would
have been rewarded in the past.

- I have a letter for you.
I have a letter for you.

- Oh, okay.
- Oh.

- It's interesting, though.

Are you sure you've
turned over a new leaf?

(Lou and Emily chuckle)

Because it's the dead of night
and no one saw me come here.

(Emily chuckles)

- Well, who do you deliver a letter from?

Oh, it's from Rue.

- Oh.

- And yet I made such a great
show of our communications.

- Yes, it would seem it
was not reciprocated.

- Mm-hmm. Well, thank you.

And I'm going to suggest that they leave.

- Hm, disappointing.

And she turns and walks away.
- Hold me back, hold me back,

hold me back, hold me back!
- This would be dueling.

- I know, I know.

- This is fucking dueling behavior.

- I know!
- Right, right?

- Ooh! (exhales)

- Oh, they are inviting us
to a tete-a-tete-a-tete.

- Okay, well, did they specify a time?

- Some time during the event tomorrow.

- Oh, that's kind of a
power move, isn't it?

(Oscar laughs)
- It is.

- It's hard not to see it any other way.

- Yes.

- Okay, well, let's just fill
up our calendar tomorrow.

- [Lou] Oh, yes.
- So that they

have to work around our schedule.

- Exactly, I was already thinking

that we should engage Andhera
the moment we see him.

- Oh, ooh!

- And together we will all
engage in tomorrow's festivities.

- Okay, I love this. Yes.

- And as you sort of make your
plans into the late evening,

Captain Hob.
- Hm?

- It's not a note as much
as a message passed to you

as you find your rest somewhere
under the Goblin Gazebo

and pavilion as one of
the tiny Salt Goblins

comes up to you and kind of
taps you on the shoulder.

- Taps me on the shoulder?

- Yeah. (laughs)

He's just standing and he. (slams table)

- Corporal, make your report.

(cast laughing)

- And he clicks his little
heels and goes... (babbles)

- That was him talking for a second.

- That's the whole note. Good luck.

- What? How can it be?

- I have a message from Blemish

speaking on behalf of
both Blemish and Boil.

- [Brennan] Hm.

- Apparently they found
out that you were seeing

someone from the Court of
Wonder and people are talking.

And they are violent

about you interfering

in their purpose here.

- My understanding was
that I was to deliver

the Lady Thistle-hop to
an audience with them,

which is what I was doing
until plans were foiled

by the sudden appearance
of Delloso de la Rue.

Very well.

- They've dug a pit about it
so you know what that means.

- Well, that pit's not
gonna get any shallower.

You are dismissed, Corporal. Ping!

(Aabria yelps)
(cast laughing)

And I'm going to run over

to find Lord Blemish and Lady Boil.

- You actually see that they
are probably 40 yards away

towards the edge of this little wood line

just on hands and knees
digging through the loamy earth

and just digging a pit
out of anger and rage.

- (inhales sharply) (slaps hands) Hey!

(cast laughing)

- And they look over their shoulder

and Boil specifically is just gonna fart.

(fart squeaks)

- I see.
(cast laughing)

Your Ladyship, your
flatulence speaks volumes.

I can only debase myself
for having overreached.

In attempting to prepare
the Lady Thistle-hop

for audience with the both
of you, I thought merely

to discuss those arrangements
that had been made,

but I see now that your intention

was that I remain silent in delivering her

to an audience with you.

I am a...

...big, dumb blockhead and
my brain is full of rocks.

And if you want to stab
me, it would be an honor

to shed blood as a show
of my deep sorrow, shame,

and embarrassment at my impropriety.

- And Boil, who has sort of moved on

and is continuing to
dig out their feelings,

Blemish watches this
entire show of contrition

and will crawl up out of the hole

and stands at your knee height,

but not just for Goblinkind,

but Fey standards of beauty
have their own esoteric rules,

and you look down at Blemish
and they are beautiful

and terrible and striking in the moonlight

looking up at you with
a ferocity of intense,

complex emotions that they
so rarely have to sort out

in the Goblin Court, but
that they are uniquely suited

for carrying through in
dealings with other Fey.

And after a long moment,

Blemish simply nods

and pats you on your furry unpantsed leg

and says,

"Remember your place."

- Very good, my Lord.

I shall endeavor to commit
myself to greater humility.

I shall not stray from
my place again, my Lord.

- You just hear a
little... (blows raspberry)

- Your flatulence is most welcome,

and thank you for saying so.

- And he goes back down

and continues digging in the pit with Boil

until their rage is sort of sated.

- I'm just going to
stab myself a little bit

just to make sure we're all good.

(mimics blade whipping wind)

(cast laughing)

(Oscar and Brennan mimic blood squirting)

- [Aabria] Go and take three
points of piercing damage.

- My gosh! (laughs)
- Actions have consequences.

- The first damage of the game.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- I'm gonna wander off towards the edges

of the Goblin Pagoda feeling
truly humiliated and small.

And the truth is, I'm probably relieved

to have stabbed myself and been debased

because I don't have to try to pretend

like I understand Goblin revelry,

which has always been hard for me,

and I've never really understood it.

So I just find a little piece
of moonlight off by myself,

and I'll begin writing a letter.

(regal music)

"Dearest Wrackingspelt,

long are the hours of our absence,

and with each passing
moment I find the pain

of that absence grow
stronger and stronger.

I think of you always."

And continue to write a
letter under the moonlight.

And after I finish the letter,

I tuck it into my uniform
and do not send it.

- In that vein, I think that
Lady Featherfowl has retired

and in privacy she takes
out a little wooden chest

that looks like it's made out of twigs.

And she touches it and
a larger chest appears.

And then she writes a
little note that says,

"I miss you dearly.

The true price of every minute

I am called away from you weighs on me.

I will see you in my dreams."

- What the?

- And then she puts in the
chest, closes the chest,

and touches the little
replica and it disappears.

- My God, you're sending secret letters?

(Emily laughs)

- As you go about your evening
ritual primping and prepping

before going to sleep
you hear a little rumble

as the tiny replica beings
to shake with a response.

- I have dove's milk all over my hands.

- Oh, bird milk.
- Ooh.

- Sorry, it keeps you looking young.

Okay, I touch it and I open the chest.

- There's not a letter inside.

- What? What are you reaching for?

- But there is a gift.
- Oh!

- [Oscar] Oh, oh my gosh!

- What the fuck is going on?
- [Lou] What the fuck is that?

- You can put that inside your chest.

- Wait, can you show us?
- [Lou] What is it?

- [Surena] What?

- [Brennan] It's a little nest heart.

- It's a, what?
- Whoa!

- [Brennan] It's like a little...

- Just a little gift
with no words attached,

but go ahead and open your chest.

Leave it open and add your treasure.

- [Lou] You have a treasure.
- [Surena] That's amazing!

- [Oscar] What? Emily, this is huge!

- How? What are we clapping for?

- I don't know.
- [Lou] What does this mean?

- [Oscar] But it's great.

- How many of those do
you have? Can I have one?

- Nothing could be more this season

than us clapping for a
gift we do not understand.

- (laughs) Yeah.

- Something incredible, some stuff!

- Oh, you received the curse.

(cast laughing)

- That's all.
- [Surena] Wow.

- I think I clutch it deeply

and I put it under my many, many pillows,

and then I close my eyes
hoping to get to my dreams

as quickly as I can.
- [Aabria] Amazing.

- Oh my God. (laughs)

- That's so much.
- Beautiful.

- And I have a ton of dove milk

that I haven't fully rubbed in yet.

- God.

- [Emily] It's all over the pillow.

- Cousin, Cousin.
- (shouts) Cousin!

- Sorry, I'm running-

- Cousin, I'm in the
middle of my dove milk.

- Well, I'm running low on dove milk.

- Oh, okay, okay, okay. There you are.

- Thank you. Apologies.

- Last chance, does anyone

have any other letters they want to send?

You have the ability to send up to two,

but do not feel compelled to do so.

Then we will move then from
the night to the next day.

And each of you finds a
beautiful official-looking letter

addressed to you inviting you

to the first great event of the Bloom,

the Hart Hunt that is
set to begin at 11:00 AM.

- Can I clarify how hart is spelled?

- H-A-R-T.
- [Emily] Okay.

- Like the deer.
- Yeah. (laughs)

- I'm gonna find, is Wuvvy
running around anywhere?

- Wuvvy is a blur, but can
absolutely. You know what?

Give me, what's a tracking check?

Give me a survival check.

- Wuvvy is deer-like, right?
- [Aabria] Yes, absolutely.

- Survival is going to
be, that's gonna be 22.

- Oh yeah, it doesn't take
you very much time at all.

You look and see fresh prints.

Not imprints in the grass
because this is a well-kept lawn,

but just light hoofprints
across the dew of the morning,

and you know that Wuvvy is
sprinting back and forth

across the lawn and headed
towards the southernmost edge

of the island where, if
you were paying attention

when you got here and started settling in,

a massive tunnel was being dug

into the retaining wall of the city.

But you can absolutely
catch her as she sprints by.

- Wuvvy, so sorry.
- (shouts) What, what, what?

- Sorry, one moment.
- Hi!

- I wish to speak with you for a matter.

There was a problem with one-

- A problem? What's the problem?

What can I-
- There was a small dish.

- Oh no!

- There was a small dish of macarons

and some of the goblins
pleasured themselves with it

and now the macarons are ruined so...

- Did they enjoy themselves?

- Immensely, but they put
them all back afterwards.

(Surena gags)

In this moment I just want
to take some little bell

or tassel or something off of my uniform.

And as I put a hand
comfortingly on Wuvvy's back,

I just want to see if I can
leave a little something

on Wuvvy in this moment and then go about

and say, "But you know, actually,

you have enough to worry about.

I can take this problem off your plate.

I will go and eat them no
matter how soggy they are."

And I will... (laughs)

- Thank you for your service!
And she just salutes you.

Go ahead and give me a
sleight of hand check.

- He just put a bell on Wuvvy?

- That's the part you're
reacting to? Not the macarons?

- [Brennan] That's a 14.
- [Oscar] Not the macarons?

- Yeah, absolutely.

She takes off and it's sort
of under her clothing and fur

in a way that's not
jingling yet as she sprints.

- Cool, cool, cool, cool. That's cool.

- Okay, Cousin.
- Yes?

- I think before the hunt we
have to rendezvous with Rue.

- Of course.
- A rendez-Rue, if you will.

- Yes, I like this. On
our terms, a tete-a-tete.

- Yes, yes, yes, yes. Okay,
so yeah, let's find Rue.

- Yes.

- Birds, birds!
(players laughing)

(Aabria caws)
Find Rue and bring them to us.

(cast laughing)

- You know what?

I'm gonna call this an
animal handling check.

Your birds normally listen to you,

but these birds are incredibly intelligent

and also have been
watching enough to know,

you don't fuck with Rue so
you have to convince them.

- I'm gonna put my hand
on my cousin's back.

Speak sternly, and give
them Bardic Inspiration.

- [Aabria] Amazing.
- Oh!

- What is it?
- [Lou] D8.

- D8, okay, that's good
'cause I add a zero to this.

- I'll give you advantage on it

'cause you are a bird person.
- Okay.

I'm gonna go with the nine.
- [Aabria] I think it's mostly

'cause I like watching you roll dice.

- Oh, I got an eight on the
Bardic, that becomes 17.

- Ooh.
- Okay.

With a 17 you see the lead magpie

that's in charge of this gang of birds

that are your morning attendants.

They're like, "Why?"

- Yes, we desire the attendance of Rue.

And I'll give you this shiny bracelet.

(Aabria caws)
(cast laughing)

- Snatches it out of the air
and is flying off to find Rue.

Where would this magpie find you?

- I am overlooking where
the event is taking place

just to do some final, just
scoping out if there's anything

that needs to be handled.
- Last looks, we love it.

So we actually see this magpie
disappear into the tunnel

carved into this wall and on
the inside of this tidal island

tunneling through the wall
should open up to sea,

but again, this is the Bloom.

This is a wellspring of
deep and powerful magic.

And the magpie flies through and alights

out on a beautiful forest, heavily wooded,

with a sun that seems a
little warmer and brighter

than even the one that
you were experiencing

while on the island.

The grass is high but well-kept.

Everything is green and lush.

And the last few people that are coming in

to act as guides and
support for the hunters

of the Great Hart are milling about

and kind of fussing
with their velvet livery

and just kind of preening
in front of you like,

"If you say I look okay then I'm okay."

- And I give a nod of approval.

- Yes.

- And no response if I don't like it.

- Fine, it's okay. Eye contact
is good for me, thank you.

- I'm also decked, just
to know this is a new day.

- [Aabria] Yes, please.
- So I'm dressed differently.

- Yes, tell me more.
- So we are dressed

in a Robin Hood inspired garb, you know?

They have a moss green sort of vest

into a little skirt
moment with long sleeves

that billow out and
incredibly tight tights

with a nine-inch pump.

(cast laughing)
- Let's go!

As you kind of step and stride forward,

the head guide out of all of these,

a very tall like 6'3'' angular,

pale-skinned High Fey

named Theodore that you can tell he

is just sort of try to
swallow his nervous excitement

and he's wringing his hands

and trying to hide them in his pockets.

Just sort of comes over to
you and just, (clears throat)

"Rue, those are terribly,
terribly high heels.

Can I, may I..."

And he sweeps his cloak off
and puts it in front of you

so some of the damper
earth doesn't cause you

to aerate this lawn and
stagger even a step.

- (laughs) Oh, there's no need for that,

but since you offered I...

- It's my, it's my pleasure.
I'm so excited for today.

I think we're gonna have
just a really good turn,

I think they're gonna enjoy
it. I think it's gonna be fun.

- Yes.
- For everyone and I hope-

- Well, that's the objective, isn't it?

- Mm-hmm.

- For every Fey in the Bloom to have fun.

- Yes.
- And they will have fun.

- Yes.
- Good.

- Yes, I'm gonna leave the, I'm gonna...

- Is that all right?
- Everything's great.

I'm gonna go uh, check...

- Mm-hmm.

- On the horns to make sure

they are not too horny or horny enough.

- I'm sorry.

- I, um...
(Emily laughing)

- Why don't you check on the horns.

- Yes!
(cast laughing)

And Theodore sprints off
in the other direction,

kind of jumping in a
straight line clearing rocks

and logs and just getting out of Dodge

still while trying to impress you

but not be in your direct line of sight.

And as he takes off you see this magpie

kind of come up and rest on your shoulder.

- Oh, hello there my
fine feathered friend.

What do we have here?

- Do you try to take the bracelet?

- (laughs) Yeah. I try to take
the bracelet to look at it.

- This magpie is like... (caws)

And wraps it around their
beak and pulls down hard like-

- Oh, all right. Well,
(chuckles) it's yours.

This was not meant for me?

(Aabria caws dismissively)

Oh, okay, I'm sorry for
taking your possession.

What is it you came?

- This magpie you see
gets quiet realizing,

"I'm not one of the kinds
of birds that talk."

(players laughing)

- I'm patiently waiting like, "Mm-hmm?"

- The magpie thinks about it for a while

then hops off your
shoulder onto the ground

and is going to start doing
a big flapping display

almost like a mating
dance and puts one hand

behind their head in a simulacrum

of Lady Chirp's countenance.
(mimics magpie warbling)

And then puffs up and gets bigger

and starts swishing side to side

to do a rough and terrible
approximation of Lord Squak.

- It's not that bad. It's
pretty close, it's pretty close.

- And then just hops in a circle

and then kind of. (caws sweetly)

- Can I roll to see if I understood that?

- Yeah, of course! (laughs)

- What do I?
- Straight intelligence.

- Cousin, do you think

I should have sent a
letter with the magpie?

- No, no, it's very clear.

We are, our grandfather invented birds!

- Okay, okay, okay. Thank
you for calming my nerves.

- I rolled a six.
(cast laughing)

- This bird for sure just
wants something else shiny.

That's the best you got.

- Hmm, I take out one of the rings,

one of the many rings adorned in my hand

and I give it to the bird.

- The bird, now stuck,
this poor magpie's like,

"The bracelet or the
ring? I can't carry both."

How nice was the bracelet
that you offered?

- I think honestly, actually,
I have the spell Fabricate

and I am a forger so it's forged
but it looks like designer.

- Ooh.
- Okay, looks designer.

How nice is the ring that you offered up?

- It's real gold. I mean,
it's of the finest quality.

Mined from the best place
where you get gold from.

- This fucking bird now has to sit here

with a jewelers loupe and
figure out what they like more.

If you have nothing else to do,

this bird is going to take the ring,

put it next to the bracelet,

and spend a good 20 minutes agonizing

over which one it wants more.
(Emily laughing)

And eventually it figures out,

it sort of drags the
bracelet on top of the ring,

grabs both and then flies off.

- Hm, you know, seeing
that bird reminds me

that I should meet
(Emily laughing)

with the Lords of the...

I should go there right now,
but I wonder where they are.

- As you say that, the magpie in triumph

of getting their message
across caws loudly, drops both

and then goes back to the ground

and you just see them in the background

as you move to whatever you're doing

trying to scrape it back together

to take both of its treasures away.

- Okay, we are back at the nest.

I think that we need to be like,

"Okay, we need to position the parlor room

so that it's optimal sort of like,

let's cut the legs short on the chair

that Rue is gonna sit in."

- Cool perfect. Yes, we are above them.

- [Emily] Yes!
- Oh, and let's put

a few more pillows on ours.

- Ooh, ooh, ooh!
- So we're a little taller

and they're looking up at us.

- Ooh, and maybe our tea will be real tea

and their tea will just be water.

- Yes.
(cast laughing)

- Can you imagine?
- Oh.

- Can you imagine?
- I love it, I love it.

- [Emily] Okay.

- Oh, they're not gonna
know what hit them.

- [Emily] No, they're not.
- A tete-a-tete on your time?

No, a tete-a-tete on our time!

- Gosh, I wish we could take
a couple shots and celebrate.

- Oh, if only.
- [Emily] Ah!

- This is the perfect
time for a bit of snuff.

- I know it is, I guess.
- [Lou] But no!

- But no!
- No!

- The old bird.
- Old bird.

- New birds.
- New birds.

- Drink tea.
- On this wing.

On that wing, a ton of snuff and shots.

On this wing, confidence, posture, poise.

- Confidence, posture,
making Grandpapa proud.

- Yes, oh, there you
are up there in the sky.

- Grandpapa. (blows kiss)
- Not dead but alive.

- Not dead but thriving.

- Okay, well..
- Okay.

- Yeah, I think we're gonna go to sawing.

(cast laughing)

- Have you sawed chairs before?

- Of course not.

- You gotta give me, oh gosh,
call it a performance check.

- Great.
(whimsical music)

- Can I give the help action?

- Are you sawing your own furniture?

- Like maybe just in tandem.

- Oh, together. Then yes, of course.

- (laughs) One of the logs on this.

- Oh, first one's a 19.
- Ooh!

- 19 plus eight, 27.

Uh, we'll take the 27.

- Amazing, roll a d10 for me.
- Okay.

That's a cool six.

- It's going to take you upwards

of an hour to get this right.

You started off just shaving a little bit

and then it was a little lopsided.

- Okay, Cousin, Cousin, if I can-

- You can keep going.
You're gonna get there.

It just takes time.

- If I can concentrate I
can do this is 10 minutes.

- Okay.

- And I'll just cast a
fourth-level fabricate

(Brennan laughing)

to essentially just change it

so the chair's a little shorter.

- And I'm gonna call in a couple

of the cassowaries we brought with us.

Destroy this. Take it out and destroy it.

No evidence, no evidence of this chair.

- Yes, if we see this chair
again everyone's fired!

- Use your giant talons to beat
the shit out of this chair.

- Yes, yes, kill this chair!

- They're just kicking this
chair out of your front door.

- Good, good, good. No, you focus, Cousin.

- I am focusing.
- [Lou] I'll encourage it.

- It'll take me 10 minutes.
- Destroy it!

- Ooh, I'm focusing, focusing, focusing.

- [Oscar] The birds are like, "Get it!"

- [Aabria] Yeah.
- Bam, bam!

- Like 40 minutes of these
Fey lords being like,

"Whew, we are hoofing it on this chair.

Wait a minute, we can make
anything out of magic!"

- Okay. (grunts) There it is.

- Perfect, a slightly shorter chair.

- All it took was a
fourth-level spell slot.

- Exactly.
- Amazing.

So Rue...

- Yes.
- Is your intention

in the scant half-hour

before the beginning of your hunt

to go and meet with the Lords of the Wing?

- Yes.

- Well, let's follow you
back through the tunnel,

back into the tidal island proper

and up to the Northern Lawn.

(Oscar mimics footsteps whipping)

(laughs) Do you run?

- In nine-inch heels.
(cast laughing)

- It's called power catwalking.

- Oh, I love that.

- Just like... (Oscar mimics
rhythmic footsteps pounding)

Just covering tons of ground.

- [Aabria] (claps) Yes, yes, yes, and yes.

- Nothing more terrifying
than being at a party

and seeing the party planner running.

- [Aabria] Yeah.
(cast laughing)

- Through a recently bored tunnel.

- Yeah. (laughs)

- Amazing, so then you
will be at the nest.

- I knock at the door made of twigs.

- It gets opened by birds.

- Gorgeous flamingo.
- Oh!

- Ooh, yeah, yeah.

Ah, Rue.
- Ah, yes.

- Rue, thank you so much.

- Please have a seat.
- Have a seat.

We got tea for you.
(cast laughing)

- I gotta make an insight check

or something, yeah.
- You gotta!

Insight or perception.
- [Oscar] Is that, okay.

- 'Cause this is all fairly obvious.

(Emily laughing)
Your call.

- It's a 20.
- [Aabria] Yeah.

- I'm going to use a reaction
to cast Silvery Barbs so...

- What is that?

- I magically distract the creature

who just succeeded on a roll.
- [Aabria] Mm-hmm.

- You mean me?
- Yes, you.

They must reroll the d20
and use the lower roll.

You can then choose a different creature

you can see within range.

The chosen creature has
advantage on their next,

in this case, ability check

that it makes within the next one minute.

- I love you and you know
I'm a real cool lawyer,

but you know that magic requires
verbal spellcasting, right?

- Yes.

- So you cast magic at Rue.
- As he says that.

As he says that I Subtle
Spell Gift of Gab.

- And that's how cousins work.

- "Um, have some tea." And
that's all you remember.

(cast laughing)
- Okay.

But I'm supposed to reroll, right?

- [Lou] Yes.
- [Aabria] Yes, reroll it.

- Okay, 12.

- That goes on me.

I coulda looked up Gift
of Gab between episodes.

I didn't.

- [Brennan] Yeah.
- This seems busted as fuck.

- It's bad!
- [Aabria] It's bad.

- Thank you so much for offering.

Is this where I should sit?
- Yes, of course.

- I look at the chair and I sort of

hold on to the top of the
chair and I lean into it.

- [Emily] Cousin!
- Yes! (claps)

- Cousin, their heels are so high.

(cast laughing)
Their heels are so high.

We are now at a disadvantage!

(cast laughing)
(Oscar slaps hands)

Cousin, we've been played.

- Do not falter, do not falter.

- We've been played!
- Rue, thank you so much.

- Yes, of course

You understand, I must
be away for the event

so this has to be quick.

I'm sorry, I can't really
sit down at the moment.

- "That's fine, neither can
I." I stand on my chair.

- On it?
- Yes.

(Brennan laughing)

- But we have been so eager

to discuss the nature of this wager.

- Okay, are you, I think
you might be dirtying

the pillows that you have on the chairs.

- We have plenty of pillows.

- Oh.
- Yes.

Yeah, when you're this
rich you can be dirty.

- So many feathers to
fill the pillows with.

- You have other people to clean up.

Anyways, I'm so curious.

We are both so curious because
we are excited for the sport

and for the opportunity
to prove ourselves.

- Oh that's right, the wager.

- [Lou And Emily] Yes.

- The event everyone in
the Bloom is talking about

so congratulations to both of you.

- Yes, honestly, the
congratulations belong to you.

- [Oscar] Oh, no, no, please.
- It was a fantastic play.

- Yes, of course.

And I must say, I want
you both to succeed.

And I think you both will
succeed, but you know,

on the journey there it is fun

to sort of give people a show.

- Yes, yes.
- [Emily] Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

- So let's talk brass tacks.

- [Lou] Mm-hmm.
- Okay.

- I apologize for being a bit vague

when I offered the wager.

- Only invites the
imagination of those watching.

- [Oscar] That's right.
- Yes, that is true.

- I think ultimate the bottom line is,

by the end of the Bloom

both of you must have worthy suitors.

- Huh.
- Fair.

- Yes, yes, yes, yes, okay.

- Where love is valid, love is true,

and love is reciprocated.
- [Emily] Ah.

- Without the aid of glamors
or any magic whatsoever.

- So by the word worthy...
- Mm-hmm.

- What would a worthy
suitor be in your mind?

Or is it a matter of
there being love there?

- Absolutely, yes.

If love is genuine, it does
not matter who your match is

as long as love is real.

(Emily clears throat softly)
- Very well.

- It seems as if you're not
entirely excited about...

- [Emily] Mm...

- It is simply that
love is a fickle thing.

- Yes.

- And in no way would
we ever want to suggest

that love could simply be forced.

- Mm-mm, mm-mm.
- So it is simply

the daunting task of engaging
in true and deep love.

- [Emily] Yes, yes.
- In such a...

- In such a small, small window.

Small window.
- Constrained parameters.

- Yes, yes, it's just I'm
well-versed in passion,

but the language of love is...
I'm still doing Duolingo.

- Well, I do think that
passion is a part of love,

and I mean, it seems to
me that you have both

never been in love before.

(Lou chuckles)
- I cannot speak for Squak.

- And I cannot speak for Chirp.

- Because if you know,
love is a wondrous thing.

A thing that requires
work and cultivation.

- (clears throat) I'm a
little sore in the throat.

Can I have a sip of your tea?

- My tea?
- Yes, yes.

- Oh, I'm afraid I haven't
taken a sip at all,

so please go ahead.
(cast laughing)

- Mm, mm, mm, okay. So
what are the repercussions-

- Oh, suddenly I'm thirsty.

Do you mind if I take a sip of your tea?

(cast laughing)

- Why, of course.

They are a master manipulator.
(cast laughing)

How can I give him? I'm
crumbling, I'm crumbling!

- Keep it together. Keep it together!

- I've never met such a foe! Ah!

- Now, the other part of the
wager, I'm afraid to say,

is a bit of the dirty part.

- [Emily] Yes.
- You both have a reputation

of being rapscallions.

- Yes.
- Causing mayhem.

- [Lou] Of course.
- Mm.

- And normally I welcome
such moments of chaos but-

- Yes, it's quite memorable.

- Mm-hmm, but for the wager,

no moments of chaos.

- What would you consider
a moment of chaos,

and what would be a
breach of this contract?

If I were to, say, do something in private

could it be considered
part of this contract?

- Well, as long as there are no witnesses,

it never really happened, now did it?

- Mm, and this is why you are who you are.

- Oh, come on. I'm not a stickler.

I'm not a stick in the mud.
- No.

- [Oscar] I know how to have fun.

- Rue, I find myself growing
quite admiring of you.

- Well, if I'm being candid...
- [Emily] Mm-hmm.

- I've always been a
fan of the both of you.

The way that you're so carefree and...

- Oh, well, we are charmed.

- It's right about this
time that all of you,

wherever you are, hear the sound

of a single pure, sharp bugle blast.

A call to the hunt.

- Mm.
- Mm.

- What a perfectly horny horn.

- Yes, it's been horned very well.

- Of course.
- You've tuned that

to the precise horny note.

- Well, it feels as if
we are in agreement.

We have agreed on terms.

The wager is set and the hunt is on.

- [Oscar] Yes.
- Yes.

- And the contract has
been signed already.

- Yes.
- [Emily] Yes, yes.

- I'm very excited to see what this Bloom

has in store for the both of you.

- Just one last thing.
- Mm?

- So in the contract
that we already signed,

we have to fall in love.

- Yes, without the aid
of any spells or magic.

- Yes.

- What if we just make someone
else fall in love with us?

- Well-

- Or what if we're looking in the mirror?

Self-love is so important.

- Absolutely, absolutely.
(cast laughing)

- Sometimes finding
yourself is the real one.

- Yes, if we were to simply,
yes, just to clarify,

it would be so simple to just fall in love

with oneself, you know?
- Yes, yes, yes.

I actually, I sent this out
to our lawyers and they,

you know, they found a couple loopholes.

- Correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel

like you both have achieved
that aspect of love, yes?

- I am pretty great.
- Yes.

I puff my feathered chest with pride.

Yes, you're right, I do.
- Oh, you knocked the tea.

- Oh, well please, take
mine. Just a sip of mine.

- Mm, okay.

- And in case you need any.
- Oh, I'm quite full.

- Can I just finish the circle

and take a sip of my own tea now?

- Absolutely!

- Thank you, thank you. Mm, great, okay.

- Great, well...

- Yes, I think that the game is on.

- Yes.
- Great.

The game of love and this game
that we're about to go to.

Please, come with me.

- I'm going to offer to take Rue's hand.

- (gasps) I accept it gently.

- To the hunt.

- Interesting.

- I do wanna send just a
little message to Squak

and be like, "This is
potentially very troubling

because Grandfather sent us
here to find a political match

not a love match."
- Yes.

- "And I believe now we find ourselves

straddling two different bonds."

- Yes, but together, I
know we can accomplish it.

- Okay.

- And you make your way through the tunnel

back to the hunting grounds.

But I'm going to flex another
one of these little mechanics,

and I'm going to ask for a monologue.

What is Rue thinking right now

as they are being escorted
to the hunting grounds?

- I am, as the lord is taking my hand,

I feel incredibly self-conscious,

that my hand is on his hand

and the entire time I'm thinking

not of the event that's about to happen,

but the event that's going
to happen after the event,

which I have been postponing for a while.

I feel like because this
conversation set me at ease,

I will make the declaration
after the event.

- Impressive, okay.

- These secrets are stressing me out, man.

- You're used to being the DM
and you know all the secrets.

- That's right, yeah, what's going on?

And now there's like, six DMs!

- Six?
- Everybody's got stuff!

- You're all standing in the center glade.

There are a bunch of High Fey,
handsome, beautiful creatures

there to help attend you with this hunt.

And even before Rue arrives
to sort of mediate this,

Theodore steps forward, clears
his throat. (clears throat)

Welcome to the first event,

The Great Hart Hunt.

And he begins unbuttoning his blazer.

- Okay, uh...
(players laughing)

- Not the kind of hunt
that I was expecting.

Please continue if that's
what you want to do.

- You're not the only one whispering,

but he still makes eye contact with you

and gives a little polite nod

and is folding the blazer over
his arm and just continues

to undo the blousey
shirt underneath as well.

- Okay.

- You will have an amount of
time to complete the hunt.

Whoever can return an antler

from the Great Hart to here

will be declared the winner

and given a favor of
great power and prestige.

And at this he pulls the
big blouse over his head

and he's now shirtless, chiseled,
still wearing his pants.

And you see across his pale
skin the brindled pattern

very faintly of a deer.

And those of you that would know could see

that these are the
markings that would suggest

that he is of the Court of Hoof
and Claw, shapeshifters all.

I will do my best to elude you.

Do whatever you think is best,

but I have not been
bested yet so good luck.

And he turns and sprints
off and away from you,

over logs,

and under trees and bushes and disappears

behind a massive green shrub.

And you see he has
completed his transformation

and a massive pure-white hart

with glorious, glowing antlers

is bounding out and away from you.

You all can do whatever you want

to try to take the antler from this hart.

This is not a matter of guns or prestige.

We're going to roll initiative,
but you can work together.

You can work on your own.

And if you require assistance,

there are helpers to the hunt

who will make themselves available to you

if you find your personal
methods insufficient to the task.

But the hunt is on and you stand here now

with 40 other Archfey who begin to clap

and hoot delightedly and take
off on wing and foot and steed

in pursuit of the Great White Hart.

So can I please get you
all to roll initiative?

- [Oscar] Okay.

- Six. (laughs)
- Okey-dokey. (laughs)

Hob.
- Six.

- [Aabria] Who's got the higher
dex between the two of you?

- That's gonna be you.
- Plus three.

- [Aabria] Okay.

- 14.
- [Aabria] 14.

- 18.

- [Aabria] Rue.
- 11.

- 11.
- Ooh.

- Who's got the higher dex
between the two of you?

- Mine's plus four.
- Plus two.

- Okay.
- Okay.

So with an 18, Lou, you're up first.

- You know, I actually, in the interest

of supporting all the Lords of the Wing

and my more physically adept cousin,

I'm gonna hold my turn
until right after Chirp.

- Okay, the hart is 120
feet away and sprinting.

What do you do?

- I would like to bonus
action enter my Bladesong

AKA my birdsong so bird
songs fill the air.

And that increases my speed by 10 feet

which means I can run 40
feet closing the distance

so that I'm within 90 feet
to try to cast Vortex Warp.

- Okay.
- You magically twist space

around another creature
you can see within range.

The target must succeed a
constitution saving throw

or the target is teleported
to an unoccupied space

of your choice that you
can see within range.

The chosen space must be
on a surface or in a liquid

that can support the target.

So I'm in my Bladesong mode,

and I'm gonna try and
Vortex Warp this creature

right in front of Squak.

- Okay, so you sprint forward.

The birds in the trees
join in your birdsong

as you stride out and cast Vortex Warp.

What is the save?
- Constitution.

And my spell save is...

15.

- Okay.

Theodore has a constitution of plus three,

so with a dirty 20.
- (laughs) Okay.

- Sprints away and bounds and
looks over his shoulder at you

and gives a little nod
and continues running.

- Game on.
(Aabria laughs)

I'm sorry, Cousin. I really
should have warped you.

I should have had the birds carry you.

- No!

- It's just, it's a new spell.
I've never used it before.

- It's quite all right. The game is afoot.

The excitement is on.

The Lords of the Wing
will emerge triumphant.

How big is the hart?

- It's at a bit of a distance,

but you can tell that if
you were standing shoulder

to shoulder with it at
the very tip of his horns

would be about eight feet tall.

- Great, using 50 feet of my movement

I'm gonna fly up 10 feet, 40 feet forward.

And slightly off the path of the hart

I'm gonna cast Major
Image at a third level

to create a second hart that
is running at a diagonal.

- [Emily] Ooh!

- And try and time its
appearance at the same time

as when perhaps the hart disappears

through some thicker brush.

- Oh.
- But there is a second hart

that is identical in size
and shape and smell and sound

moving in a different direction.

- Shit, that's great. Okay.

Then I'm going to, you
just do that. That happens.

You know what, just for flavor
give me a performance check

to get the timing right on this.

- Okay.

- And I'll let you decide how many

of the other hunters you are
absolutely able to confuse.

(Lou smooching die)
(players laughing)

- That is a 19.

- A full half of the hunters sprint off

in the other direction
chasing the false hart,

and you are left with just a few members

of the Court of Stone,

a couple of the members
of the Seafoam Court

who are riding astride horses, your group,

and some high-level members
from the Seelie Court.

- Great, and I'm going to continue

in the direction of the
proper hart in the hopes

that my cousin will see me and follow me.

- Amazing, you take off.

Beautifully done.
- I make a big show.

I definitely know the stink of your magic

but I make a big show and
say, "Ah, the hart! That way!"

(cast laughing)

- Getting half, statistically,
is the best you could do

by creating two.
- Yeah.

- It'd be crazy if you got everybody.

You're like, "No one likes the other one?"

- I'm thrilled with how it went.

- The hart will take the full dash action

and continue bounding in the
eastern direction that he cut.

And next up is Gwyn.

- Okay, so Gwyn looks
up to where the hart is,

walks to Andhera.
- Mm-hmm.

- And I say, "Will you
accompany me on this hunt?"

- It would be my absolute honor

to accompany you on this hunt as we-

- And so-
- Oh, sorry.

- No, no, go for it.
- As we-

(players laughing)

Yep.

- I hand you two black
almost obsidian apples.

- Okay.

- And I say, "They love food."

So I'm gonna (mimics wind whipping)

and then you're gonna
(mimics wind whipping)

and we're gonna deliver it, okay?

- Just so I understand.
- Yes, no, tell me.

- We are going to give the
hart one of these two apples.

- Or this apple, and it's a gold one.

- Okay, well, yeah, so
I'm holding one of the...

- Yeah.
- Uh, yeah.

- Do you think that we're
gonna get it by force?

Do you think that we can just run at it

and it'll willingly give it to us?

- No. (laughs)

I'm so on board with this and we're good.

And I, we're gonna get this-

- Okay.
- So badly so yes, good.

Great, great, in fact. Great.

I can't wait to give this,
that thing, this apple.

- Okay, grab my hand.
- Oh!

- I'm gonna grab his
hand and I'm gonna cast,

where the hart ran, I'm
gonna cast Fog Cloud

to obscure the hart from everyone else.

- Amazing, give me just a
general intelligence check

to see if you target the
true hart or the false hart.

- Okay.
- Ooh.

- False hart.
- False hart.

- Thematic, thematic as shit, dog.

- I know, exactly.
- The true hart,

the false hart.
- Oh, it's so good.

- Which one are you chasing?

- That's 12.

- You only had to beat a 10.

- Oh, okay.

- You see the two harts dart
off in different directions,

but up in the sky you
notice a Lord of the Wing

turning towards the hart breaking right.

- Great.

- You sprint off in the
direction, and next up is Rue.

Rue, are you taking part in this?

- Mm, I look at Captain Hob.

- I raise an eyebrow.
(cast laughing)

- It seems like everyone else ran off

with the exception of you and I.

What say you and I team up?

- With the Master of Ceremonies.

I could think of no
greater ally. After you.

- Now, just because I'm
the Master of Ceremonies

does not mean I get a leg up

or it's an advantage in
any way, shape, or form.

I just want to warn you.
- Hmm.

- That we're gonna have to work

just as hard as everyone else.

- So be it. I will hold out my hand.

Long, furry, clawed hand to you.

- And I take that hand.

- I am going to stroll calmly
into a section of the forest

not where the hart ran off to.

- Great, as you're doing that

I'm giving you a Bardic Inspiration.

- What does your Bardic
Inspiration look like?

How does it manifest?

- It's a hum, just a... (hums cheerfully)

(Aabria laughing)

- [Aabria] That's great.
- What type of dice is it?

Is it a d8, d10 or?

- Oh, um, d8.
- Cool, cool.

- And I will say, that's
technically your bonus action.

Conversations, I'm assuming,

are sort of happening as this all spun up.

- Yes, yes.

- So if there's something you
want to do with your action

before Hob takes over 'cause
he's next in initiative.

- I actually want to give it.

I don't want to do anything else.

- [Aabria] Okay, perfect.

- Yeah, I'm not running either.

I'm just gonna walk calmly
into an unrelated section

of the forest with you.
- Mm-hmm.

- I'm gonna look and say, "Um, Theodore,

member of the Court of Claw
and Hoof, is that correct?"

- Absolutely, yes.

- Your assistant Wuvvy, is she
of that same court as well?

- She is.

- Ah, I understand.

Wherein might, is Wuvvy present
anywhere? Could you call?

- I can summon Wuvvy at any time.

Would you like to speak with her?

- Well, under the eaves
of the mighty forest,

perhaps a short conversation

would be most helpful in this regard.

- If speaking to Wuvvy is you want,

speaking to Wuvvy is what
you will be doing, Wuvvy!

- (yelps) What? (panting)

And just darts out from behind a tree.

(panting) Hi, how's it going?

- Very good, my dear. Is something wrong?

- No, no.

I got like a rash I think.

- Oh.

- I'm nervous. Hi, what can
I, hi, what can I do for you?

- Oh, the good Captain Hob-
- [Aabria] What's happening?

- Would like to speak
to you about something.

- Hi, did you eat the macaron?
Is your stomach hurting?

I can do like a Healing
Word if you need something.

- What would I need healing from?

Those macarons were delightful.

- Ew.

- (laughs heartily) Well, one man's trash

is another man's shit-caked macaron.

- Mm, mm-hmm.

- Those are the two options?
Trash or shit-caked macaron.

- I mean treasure,
treasure of course, yes.

I'm going to look to Wuvvy

and look to the Master of Ceremonies.

Look to Rue, Delloso de la Rue
and I want to talk to Wuvvy

and say, as a fellow member
of Theodore's court, I-

- Former.

- Former?
- Mm-hmm.

- Ah, you have formally
joined the Court of Wonder.

- All my work kept me away from my court

for so long that, yes.

- Well, perhaps we could, while the hunt

is merrily going on we could
have a short conversation

about your former courtier, Theodore.

He seems a right honorable chap.

What do you know about Theodore?

- Um, is this okay?

- Yes.
- Am I supposed to do this?

Is this cheating? Are you?

- A tactician collects information.

- Um, Okay.

Theodore goes by Chooch by his friends.

He's incredibly fast and
can transform into a hart

and a bear and a third form
that we don't name out loud

because we keep our secrets.

- Hmm, fascinating.

- He's never been caught.

- And Wuvvy, are you able to change

into any of these forms yourself?

- Mm-hmm.

- Could you perhaps
change into a white hind?

(bright instrumental music)

- Mm-hmm. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

What will you give me if I do?

(Oscar chuckles mischievously)

- What about a wager?

- That doesn't sound like a gift.

That sounds like a thing that is further.

You're now putting the goalpost further.

- Yes Captain, now that is
quite unfair for my dear Wuvvy.

This is not a wager.
She's asking for a gift.

- It just seemed, I don't know.

It was really cool when
you did a wager earlier.

- It was cool. No, no, no,
no, no, no, it was cool.

- It just seemed like it
went over really well.

- It was cool. He did a cool thing.

- No, I've screwed up. I
made a mistake, I did a bad.

I can give you mud! I
have it in my pocket.

- No.

How about a favor later?

- A favor later?

- You're tall and strong and
um, I have a lot of duties.

I mean, you could help.

- (chuckles roughly) Duties.

(cast laughing)

- I stifle a laugh.
- That was really good.

- Thank you, thank you. I needed that.

- I know what you're asking.

- Very well.
- I can be very helpful.

- I think in that case
a favor can be arranged.

- Shake on it.

(Brennan loudly hocks loogie)
Oh!

Nope, normal. Normal shake,
normal shake. (groans)

- (spits) This is normal.
- It's fine, it's fine.

(Aabria whimpers)

(Brennan mimics spit squishing)

- She just looks at you the whole time.

- It's okay.
(Aabria gags)

- And you feel a little pulse of magic

in this part of the forest.

The rest of you, consumed with the hunt

and moving in different
directions casting spells,

it just slips below your notice

that another bargain has been struck.

And she goes, "Sorry, I'm just gonna...

I'm gonna wipe it now, I'm gonna
wipe it now. Is that okay?"

- What you do with it is your business.

- Thank you.
- It's yours to save

or to wipe, absolutely.

- (rubs hands) Now, I have an
idea of what you're asking,

but I want you to be very specific.

What would you like me to do?

- I would like you to gather the attention

of the white hart in a manner
that only a white hind could

and to bring it to a place of
my choosing in this forest.

- Make your choice.

- Why not right here?

- I'm going to simian leap
into a tree and look around

and try to survey the best spot nearby.

And I'll ask Wuvvy, "If you mind,

could you walk a little
bit into the forest?"

- Okay, and she walks a
little farther into the glade.

- I listen to the exact spot in the glade

where the bell I placed on
her makes the least noise

being sucked up by the
surrounding moss and foliage.

- And she stops and looks
up at you. Is this good?

- Perfect, right there in that
spot, if you can manage it.

- Done.

Her speed is something
that is a bit of a delight

and seems like a parlor trick,

but she is formerly of that court

and one of the fastest they've ever known.

And in the blink of an eye she slips

into her white hind form and tears off

in the direction of the Great Hart.

We'll come back to you in the next round

and see what happens.

- There's a deep sense of
pride that Rue has with,

and also quite impressed.

I mean, it's very impressive,
this feat that she did.

So I look at you like, hm.

- Not bad, Rue.
- Mm-hmm.

- (sighs) While we're waiting here-

- Please come down from
the tree. I can't hear you.

- What? No.
- I can't quite hear you!

- I gotta stretch.

My legs are so short
and my arms are so long.

Just doing calisthenics
up in the tree branches.

I am going to hide up in the
branches of the tree though.

- Okay, go ahead and
give me a stealth check.

- Can I get a help action from Rue?

You tell me when I am most hidden.

- Oh, absolutely.

(Brennan blows on dice)
(dice rattling)

- I'm gonna use the Bardic Inspiration

on this stealth check. (laughs)

22 on the stealth check.

- Oh yeah, dog, that'll do.

- Not good enough.

- It's so funny to hide in
the middle of a conversation.

- I'm just putting mud and
leaves and twigs on myself.

I found the canopies last
night most delightful.

- You know, you were hidden,

very well hidden before
you put mud on yourself.

- What?
- Yes, you were hidden.

There's no need to put mud on your face.

I can't even see you.

- Oh, well you might be able to smell me,

and the mud will help
dampen the odorous gasses

that are being offput from my uniform.

- It seems you just
want to put mud on you.

- I like the feel of the mud.

- And from there we will cut to Andhera.

- So we're racing through the forest.

- Mm-hmm.

- Into just like a misty surrounding?

- Yeah, so I think Gwyndolin would,

as we're running tell you,
"This is not a regular hart.

This is a Fey hart.

In order to get a Fey's
attention, we must build a shrine.

We must pay homage to it.

That's what these apples are for."

- Oh yes, that absolutely makes sense.

(players laughing)

Of course.

(players continue laughing)

A shrine. (laughs) And it's gonna be-

- An offering.
- An offering, yes, of course.

A good one that a hart
would have no choice

but to return to and
visit for the first time

and say, "What an offering."

Perhaps there's something I can do

to assist with this particular task.

You see, my sister used
to hide all of my toys

when we were growing up.
- Really?

- Which were mostly just
different shaped gems that I had.

- Oh.

- And would just hide
them throughout the caves.

- Just for fun? For you
to find them as a game?

Or is it like a mean thing?

- It was-
- Just to bully you or?

- The intention was never
for me to find them.

- Oh, I see.

- It was to separate me from them.

- Great, cool.

- And in doing so damaging
my emotional state.

- [Surena] Oh my gosh!

- As I formed bonds with these,

I called them little rock
friends and... (laughs)

- Your friends were rocks?

- They, well, uh, not all of my friends.

I had Advisor growing up.
Aside from that though...

- [Surena] Mm-hmm.

- Advisor's behind a tree and you know it.

- Yeah, and he's a real
cool dude. (laughs)

He gets upset if I don't say that.

Anyhow, over my time growing up.

- Yeah.
- I learned a neat trick.

And I look around and I grab a forked twig

and I snap it off.

I was paying very close
attention to that particular hart

as they were undressing themselves.

- Uh-huh.

- Call it competitive spirit. (laughs)

Or don't, um...
(cast laughing)

And I'm going to cast Locate Object.

- Oh.

- [Omar] I was within 30 feet.
- Yes.

- I became very familiar-
- Yes.

- With this object so I would
like to cast Locate Object

on the antler itself

as I saw it-
- Ooh.

- [Omar] Disappear into the distance.

- Oh my goodness.

- Just to get a sense of
where exactly this creature is

and if it's coming closer
to us or farther from us.

- That's a fantastic
idea. You're really smart.

- And I'm gonna say,
Andhera, as you say that

kind of touches the back
of their neck a little bit

and that's all you would notice

in this particular surrounding.

- Oh.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

Do people not tell you that you're smart?

(Brennan laughs)

- They don't have to.
(laughs) They don't have to.

- Right, 'cause you're
surrounded by people

who always agree with you, I get it.

- Oh, I'm...
(cast laughing)

- What?
- [Omar] Oh, no.

- Was that wrong?
- Uh, uh...

- I'm sorry.
- No, don't apologize to me.

- Okay.
- Never apologize to me.

- Oh, yes.
- Don't, no.

Between us, between friends.
- Yes.

- There's no such need for such words.

No, no, no, no, I simply
don't see many folks

aside from diplomatic meetings
and occasional lessons

and you know, my rock buds.

- Yeah, are they here now?

- No.
- Oh, I was just asking.

I just want to understand.

- No, no, no, no, they stayed at home.

- [Surena] Okay.
- (laughs) Yeah, anyhow...

(cast laughing)

I quickly, I have to say
a thing to do the spell

so I'll stop talking
the way I am right now.

- It's great.

- And I'll do the spell
currently, and I cast it.

- Yeah, okay. (laughs)

You feel in this fog a little cold breeze.

Dark wind that originates
from your hand shoots off

in the direction deeper into the fog,

but it seems to cut a path through it

that only you can see.

You know that about 80
feet in front of you

now that you've turned
and are facing due west

towards the setting sun, the
hart is incredibly close.

And upon your first
instinctual step forward

you see something white

flash through the fog
in that direction, too.

- Well, close enough to be allured

by whatever we decide to
build in honor of said hart.

- And Gwyndolin is just
grabbing a bunch of sticks.

- Should I help?
- Oh yes, if you want.

- Great.

- So you guys are building
a little stick shrine?

- Yeah, they're building a shrine

that is sorta gonna be open

with the three apples as an offering

'cause they said they've never been bested

so why would we try to best them?

- Why would we try? It'd
be foolish. (laughs)

This might be odd to ask.
- Sure, ask anything.

- Do you know the story of
"The Blair Witch Project"?

- Um...
(cast laughing)

Can you explain it to me?

- It's a...

- Can Squak hear this and turn
around and be like, what the?

- Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, absolutely.

- We're talking "Blair Witch Project"?

(cast laughing)

I have thoughts.

- And as you begin to talk,

it was 11:00 AM

for all intents and purposes
when the hunt began,

but time is different here,

and it suits the purposes of
the hunt as the fog thickens

and the gloom behind it deepens

and the forest you're all standing in,

some waiting, some building, some soaring,

changes and goes over to night.

And the hunt, you feel
it, is different now.

- [Players] Ooh!

[Players make ghost noises]

- It's sensual now, right?
- It's sensual.

♪ Can you feel ♪

- Sexy hunt.
- As it becomes suddenly dark

and it goes from being the
resplendent, wondrous sun

to a more goblin-y time of day,

I'm gonna look down at Rue
as the time changes and say,

"Rue, I worry about you in
the glade there in the open.

There is space in my hiding spot for two

if you would wish to join me."

- You are asking me to
go up there and stay

next to your mud-covered body?

(cast laughing)

- It would be an honor to
make sure that you are safe

here in the dark forest at night.

And also, you are extremely
visible and ruining my trap.

- Oh, for a second there Rue sort of like,

collapses a little bit.

- Insight check to notice.

(tender instrumental music)

- That's a 14.

- Hob.
- Mm-hmm.

- They looked a little crestfallen

to not be held in a certain
esteem by you in that moment.

- I make a look on my face
if Rue wants to do any-

- Where, where, where?
(cast laughing)

- This relationship is too high.

- [Lou] 22, 22!

- [Aabria] 22!
- The mud is pretty good.

- 22.
- The mud is so good.

- Well, we're not gonna
talk so much shit about mud,

now are we?
(cast laughing)

I'm chewing on words
that I'm trying to say

as I see that I've hurt someone.

Uh, I mean only to say

your magnificence will be visible

should the hart approach,

and it would be an honor
to keep you safe here

should there be any other beasts

in the forest and keep you hidden.

- It's quite all right, Captain, I...

It was silly of me to
play along in this game.

I am the Game Master and
this is uh... (clears throat)

- I want to reach a long arm down

and yoink Rue up into the tree.

- Oh my goodness. Make an
athletics check for me.

Do you oppose this?

- I just wanna see...

- 17.
- Wha?

- I'd like to swat the hand.
- [Emily] Ooh, brutal!

- Can I do that?

- You can certainly swat it away,

but go ahead and give me
a strength saving throw.

- So you roll it and then add that.

- 16.

- You swat his hand away,
but his reflexes, he's,

this is not the first person
that's ever swung at him.

He instinctually grabs your wrist.

You feel the swat away.

Do you continue to pull them up anyway?

- No, the swat immediately
makes me let go.

- Okay.

- I get down from my hiding space.

- Thank you, Captain Hob.

I don't know what I was thinking.

- I've given you offense.

- It's quite all right.

I am out here wearing a
magnificent green outfit,

and I do stand out.

You're quite right, the
objective is to catch the hart

and I'm just in your way.

Please excuse me. And I turn to leave.

- We will return back to
the top of initiative.

Lou, you're up.

You swoop down into the fog
to join a spirited discussion

of "The Blair Witch Project."

- Oh, that was a joke. I don't-

- Hey, hey, you know what?

Go fuck yourself.
- Okay.

- You said it, and as you
swing low into the fog

you hear those hoofprints slow and stop.

And the prints you hear next
are not hoofprints at all

but the sounds of feet walking
through soft, mossy earth

as through the fog Theodore the hart

is transformed once more

into a form somewhere
between a hart and a man.

Tall and strong, with those
same platinum gilded antlers,

his muscles rippling, he
is ferocious and fanged

and smiles at you all and
says, "Turnabout is fair play,

and I am prey no longer.

I have never been bested, and
I will not start tonight."

- You're up, what do you do?

- Is he about to swing on me?

'Cause I just wanted to
talk about found footage.

- [Aabria] Yes.
(cast laughing)

- He is about to swing on me?
- Yeah.

I mean, he's about to go
off on this entire group.

- Okay.
- Really?

- (laughs) You love it.

- That absolutely changes
what I was gonna do.

- You got a round to think and hopefully

you're not cousin-less by the end of it.

- Okay, okay, okay, okay.
- [Aabria] Okay, okay.

- Okay, okay, are his antlers still there?

- Yes, yes.

- Knowing that he's gone on the offensive,

I'm going to try and shatter his antler

with the intention of then flying forward

and taking it from him.

- He casts Counterspell.
- I Counterspell it.

- Oh, you can counter a Counterspell?

- [Aabria] Yes, you can.
- My Lord, okay.

(cast laughing)

- As this chain of Counterspells goes off,

you are not alone.

There were just a couple
others left from other courts

including the Seelie as one
of the ladies in waiting

to Queen Titania herself
Counterspells your Counterspell.

(Brennan gasps)

- Ooh, I love it.
- Oh!

- And looks over at you from
another side of the gloom

and goes, "Uh-uh-uh."
(Oscar gasps softly)

- You know, I think with the
fog there'd be no witnesses

so we could have a go
and get a little naughty.

(players laughing)
(player clapping)

- You gotta make some sort
of roll for that. (laughs)

Give me a persuasion check.

- The quickness, Emily, dang!
(Emily laughing)

- [Emily] What would that
be? Performance, persuasion?

- Persuasion.

- [Emily] Okay, only a nine.
- Deception I guess

if you're not sincere
in your ministrations.

- Oh, deception, maybe not,
so 12 would be deception.

- Okay.

She only rolls a seven.

Her Counterspell goes off,
but she slinks farther

into the fog and looks and
waits for you to join her.

(Emily snickers)

And has effectively removed herself

from this close combat fight.

However, your spell has Counterspelled.

- Okay.

- What do you want to do with
your bonus action or movement?

- Fuck this, I'm gonna
fly directly at him.

- Oh no.
(Emily laughing)

- And I'm going grab onto the antlers.

- [Emily] Yes!
(cast laughing)

- And... (laughs)

I'm going to grab on to the antler

and say, "Cousin, assist me!"
(cast laughing)

Not realizing that they are possibly

about to go get it on in the nearby fog.

But this antler is mine.

- Okay, is there anything you want to do

with your bonus action?

I'm not gonna give you
the grapple attempt here.

Flavor-wise.
- Yeah, help me!

And give them a Bardic Inspiration
as I fly for the antler.

- Perfect, you next up in initiative.

Chirp, what do you want to do?

- Okay, um...

- (gasps) You gotta choose.
- You have two options.

One, oh, I'm actually talking
to the hart, to the hart.

- Oh, sure. The hart moves
his hair, I don't know.

- Hi, you have two options.
- Mm.

- One is fight and the other is drugs.

Do you wanna just, I
don't know, get crazy?

Give us your horn and just do some drugs.

- I also have drugs. You
could get two times the drugs.

- I have, I have drugs.

- You can have two times the drugs!

- He grabs you and is
just sort of holding you.

- Oh.
- [Aabria] On his shoulder.

- That's kinda hot.

- I'm not opposed.

- I just-
- I have drugs of my own,

and I've heard of your bets.

- Mm-hmm, ah.

- So are you going to get crazy?

- So you would consider yourself a witness

that would null my, okay,
then I have no option.

- It depends.
- But to...

(clears throat) I feel
really bad about doing this.

Squak, hold him!

And then I'm gonna bonus
action Shadow Blade.

- Yeah!

- Basically, but I'm flavoring
it as a cool feather.

- Yeah, cool.

- And I think I have
advantage in dim light.

In addition, when you use
a sword to attack a target

that is in dim light or darkness

you make it with advantage.
- [Aabria] Hell yeah.

- And I wanna just try and
attack this antler twice.

- Okay, you close in. Get
those attacks in, let's go.

And don't forget, you
have Bardic Inspiration.

- Now roll out a nat 20.
- Nat 20!

- Yeah!
- [Aabria] No!

- Nat 20, nat one!
- Yeah.

- No, shut up!
- Yeah, extremes.

- Okay, so with a crit go ahead

and give me your damage
from the first roll.

- Okay, 10...
(dramatic music)

two, 20, oh wait, one, two, yeah, 20.

So that's 25 from the first roll.

- Ooh, okay.
- And then the next one

will also be three instead of one.

- Okay.

- 15 plus another five so another 20

so 45 damage total to the antler. (laughs)

- Ooh, what?

- 'Cause I did a
fourth-level Shadow Blade.

- Amazing, you sail
forward and attach yourself

to the hart and are just
sawing through his horns.

(Emily panting)
- Like the chair earlier?

(cast laughing)

- Cousin, why was I the
one sawing the chair?

- You are 75% of the way through the horn.

- Ah, Cousin, it's up to you.
- [Aabria] It's still there.

- Finish it off.
- (grunts) I will. (shouts)

- He's just sort of holding
Squak on the other side.

- I'm writhing. It's my choice.

- Amazing, the hart is up next

and is going to attempt to
throw both you away from him.

So I need both of you to
make strength saving throws.

- Okay, 16 with a minus one, 15,

but plus seven on my Bardic so 22.

- Cool three.
(players laughing)

- You were holding on to the other antler

and sort of wrestling.

With a three he looks up at you
and he goes, "I'm so sorry."

- You don't have to apologize.
It's a hunt. (shouts)

- And shifts actually quite carefully,

places his hand on your hip
to just push you bodily away

so you can still land on your feet.

- Can I put my hand on his hand

as he puts his hand on my hand?

- Oh, 100%.

- When he dips, I dip with him.

- You gotta get it where you can.

And I'm gonna put my hand on his wrist,

and as he throws me,
slide my hand along his.

- You know what? I'm
not even gonna make you.

Oh Jesus, I just threw it high.

Oh, natural one.
(Oscar gasps)

His attention is locked on
you as he pushes you away.

You feel yourself turn as
his attention is turned

and he utterly forgets
to throw you off of him

as he is looking at your cousin

who's been pushed about 20 feet.

- I give Squak two feathers up.

- I let him throw me. Not bad.

And I think am prone and
like, "Not bad at all."

(cast laughing)

- All right, Gwyndolin, you are up.

- [Surena] Okay.

- [Aabria] Here's your chance.
- Yeah.

- You've seen her work.

You can claim the antler for yourself.

All you have to do is finish the job.

You just have to get her away from it.

- Gwyndolin just looks around
and is like, "Uh, uh..."

Walks towards the struggle and the scuffle

and she casts sleep.

(Aabria gasps)
(Oscar laughing)

- [Aabria] Oh.
- Yeah.

- Okay.

- Knowing that the hart
has taken some damage,

if any residual sleep hits them

I'm not gonna be mad about it.

- Okay, sleep says that it starts

with the person with
the fewest hit points.

- It does, right? Okay.

- How many hit points do you have?

- Not much. 42.

- Make your roll.

- Ooh!
- Oh no!

(dramatic music)

23.

- 23. It's not enough to take you down.

- Mm-mm.

- Nor is it enough to put
this Great Hart to sleep.

- Mm-hmm.
- But you see

sort of silvery and
shadowy, two little imps

that were crawling slowly up the Hart

fall down onto the ground.

(Surena gasps)
- Salt Goblin, Salt Goblins?

- Good men.
(cast laughing)

- No, no, they were just little imps.

They were familiars of some

of the other people in this fight.

- We don't know 'em?
- You're trying to know 'em?

- We don't know them, right?
- They're invisible

even in slumber so you can
absolutely find out if you want.

(Emily gasps)

But other people had the
same thought that you did.

- [Emily] Oh.

- So you're able to drop them
and it's now just these two-

- Squak, did I just hear an imp drop?

- Something just-
- [Oscar] So far away.

- Something gently hit the forest floor.

- I could swear I heard an imp drop.

- Gwyn, is there anything
else you want to do?

- Well, I'm gonna look at you.
- Mm-hmm.

- I'm gonna nod, and then I'm
gonna run towards the hart,

and I'm gonna use my action
to just try to grab the horn.

- Okay.
- Yes.

- Everybody getting on this horn.

- Everybody getting on
this antler. I love this.

It's messy, I enjoy it. Rue, you're up.

- Oh, so I was saying, "Excuse
me." I was walking away.

I'm not involved in this.

- [Aabria] Yes, yes.
- No, I think Hob

has also fully like, the fog.

It's Hob's first Bloom.
There's something in the air.

He drops down and feels
ridiculous covered in mud.

This is stuff for the Goblin Pagoda.

This is not stuff for the
big night of the scene.

He wipes the mud and drops down

and just looks at your
back as you walk away.

You must forgive my confusion.

It is simply that it would
have been the first time.

- I stop.

And with my back turned to him
I say, "It's not your fault.

The fault is entirely mine."

And I slowly turn to
look at Hob and I say,

"I deeply wanted to have a moment

where I could connect
with you, but I realize

it's just not possible.

And it's not your fault.
You did nothing wrong.

Your action just made me very aware

of where I'm at right now.

I'm so sorry.

I've taken you away from
the hunt and distracted you.

I'm sure that you would
have gotten the antler

and been victorious in the hunt.

If you go right now it won't be too late.

You could still win."

- I look up at my hiding spot.

I look at the halberd in my hand.

I take the strap and put
the halberd on my back

and walk towards you.

- I'm a little taken aback there.

- I see that you struggle with
battles that I cannot see.

My sight is limited.

I am, as my commanders have
just recently instructed me,

I am in need of remembering
that I can be a fool often.

You are a great Fey, Rue.

Frankly, nothing could
have prepared me to believe

that the words of a Goblin
would hold any weight with you.

- You're more than just a Goblin.

(Emily laughing)
You are strong,

courageous, fearless.

You have a deep sense of honor and trust.

- I know. I'm working on it.

(cast laughing)
- No, no, no!

And I reach my hand to touch

but then I pull back, catch myself.

- Did you want to hit me? You can.

- No, no, no, no, no.

These are good things.

Maybe not for the Goblin Court,

but they're good things for me.

I have to go. I cannot be here.

This is incredibly unbecoming
of the Game Master to be here.

I apologize profusely,

and I will make it up
to you in the future,

but for right now, please go to them.

Leave me here.

- It's your turn in
initiative. What does Hob do?

- I'm gonna roll 'cause I want...

This feels important enough.

I'm gonna say high roll is
wild, low roll is honorable.

That's a nine.

I look at you for a moment
like you instructing me

to leave you alone has
hit some Goblin nerve

of not wanting to be told what to do.

(clears throat) (slaps legs)
If you command that I hunt,

then hunt I shall, Master of Ceremonies.

You deserve what you were seeking

when we stepped into the forest together.

(Brennan claps hands)
- Oh, um, hm, hm...

(cast laughing)

Whew!

- (grunts) And I jump back

into my hiding spot and disappear.

- [Aabria] Amazing.

(Lou exhales)
Yes. (laughs)

- Whew!

- Oh God, I feel like
Wuvvy. I need to breathe.

- Whew!

- Even as you disappear in this moment

where you made a different choice,

something has stirred within you.

And landing on that branch,

improbably, you see a
small peacock feather.

(Brennan gasps)
- [Surena] Oh my God, a gift!

- Ooh!
- [Lou] Wow.

- [Aabria] You can add it to your locks.

And Andhera, you're up.

- Were you gonna smell it?

- I think Hob just looks
at it and goes (gasps)

'cause it's like, you
had a peacock feather in.

- That's right!
- [Aabria] Yeah.

- And did you, how did you know?

- You don't have to get ready
if you stay ready, bitches!

(players laughing)

I got shit for all of you!
- I think Hob sees a little,

the little peacock feather
and looks at Rue walking away

and goes... (gasps) (sniffs)

- [Surena] Oh, oh, oh!
(Aabria laughing)

Oh my God!
(Brennan gulps)

(Brennan moans contentedly)

- [Aabria] Oh my God! (laughs)

You have to go. I'm freaking out!

- You're so... (laughs)
(cast laughing)

(group clapping)

- Is it gone?
- [Surena] He swallowed it.

- [Oscar] (laughs) Nice!

- Someone needs to call an ambulance.

(cast laughing)

- So I see you running into
the mist towards this creature

and I again touch sort
of the back of my neck

and I mutter to myself
making sure no one can hear,

although I am sure there are some Fey

hidden in the mist that will overhear it.

It's time to be a big boy.
(cast laughing)

- I would like to hear that.
(cast laughing)

- [Aabria] Yeah, no roll required.

- [Emily] Can I try to overhear it?

- No roll required.

I want everyone to have
that if they want it.

That's a gift for all of us.

- They were just in the
precise area of the forest

where it magnifies sound.
- Yeah. (laughs)

- Just like, when a breeze
goes by the mist clears

and it's clear that
everyone is right there.

- The fog becomes like a little tunnel.

It's like, you want this.

- I pull out my double-bladed scimitar.

- [Oscar] Ooh.

- Each blade looks like a
batwing, but they are inverted

so it's not like a great creation.

Again, this is a weapon made to show off,

not necessarily a combat weapon.

Andhera has not been in
nearly enough battles

to fully acknowledge that, but instead

I do know how to use it for show.

And I point at the hart
and I yell, "Hey asshole."

I cast Command, halt!

Wisdom saving throw, 13.

- Doesn't beat it with a 12.

- [Oscar] Hmm...

- Okay, great, so now that they're stuck,

I sheath it back over my back

and start to walk towards the hart.

- You feel every muscle
under Theodore tense as-

- These are very functional muscles.

- [Aabria] Very functional.
- Thank you very...

Oh, you meant, oh, shit.

- Oh no, it is clear.

As soon as you pulled out your scimitar,

all the muscles that you
haven't worked became apparent.

- Thank you so much.
- [Emily] You're welcome.

- Not being... (laughs)
(cast laughing)

And a real quick, "Lady, it's
actually got two blades."

And I pull it out as if
any of that is a brag.

- I fan myself with my sword.

- I bonus action and I point
back at the hart again.

And I again unsheath my
double-bladed scimitar

so it was placed back just
to bring it out again.

- Yes, terrible.
- And I point it.

And I have a bonus action.

I compel a duel, a duel.

A duel, you and me.

I compel a duel between you and I.

I'm dueling you.

It's another waste of a turn cycle.

- Yeah, okay, okay. Amazing.

Now, I do know that you cannot
cast two spells in one round.

- Yes.

- Unless one of 'em is a cantrip.

- [Omar] Yes.
- Is Compel duel a cantrip?

- It is not a cantrip.

It does say bonus action though

as the casting time on this card.

- True, however...

- Do I get cool points? Can I do it?

Can I break the game?

- Oh, I don't wanna break the
game. Don't break the game.

- I wanna break the game.

- Everyone will talk.
(players chattering)

Everyone around the-

- Let it be said, I know what I'm doing

and I do what I want.
(Emily laughing)

I'll allow it.

- Yes!
(players cheering)

I was worried about it, but
I thought if I just came in

with the cool of it.
- Yeah, I love it, I love it.

- We'll just keep going like,

this roller coaster is running

so we have to just let
the kids have a ride.

Okay, great.

- And the hart looks at you
and says, "I'll duel you,

but the problem isn't me, it's her,

and she's about to win so what do you do?"

- Wait, which one, who
are you speaking about?

- The broad on my shoulder
actively sawing my antler off.

- Do not call my cousin a broad.

- Hi. (laughs)

- I coulda called her a bird, honestly.

- Oh a bird. Okay, thank God.

- No, we won't change. He just stops.

- [Lou] Otherwise me and him are-

- He's like, "I shoulda called
her a bird. Is that worse?

Is that worse? Is that worse?"

- Oh, you can call me a bird or a broad.

(laughs cheerfully) Nothing's off limits.

- Okay, thanks.
- Call me whatever you want.

Just not too hot 'cause
I'm on my best behavior.

- And he kind of just pats your calf

'cause I think you're just
sitting on his shoulder.

- Got it.

- I look up at you then.
You're about to get the antler.

I, listen, you and me? I don't
have a problem with that.

- I don't either.
- Great.

- [Carlos] Oh, oh.
- I'll share.

- (laughs) Then I will, too.
(Emily laughs)

The duel still stands, you and me.

And if you try to attack any of my,

and we make direct eye contact, my friends

then you're gonna find yourself
operating at a disadvantage.

(cast laughing)

- Just his nose starts
to bleed a little bit.

What does that mean?

- If my nose is bleeding, I do not flinch.

I feel it and I hate
it, but I do not flinch.

- He steps forward and is perfectly happy

to duel with you, but the problem remains,

it's not his turn in combat.
- Mm-hmm.

- And next up is Lord Airavis.

- I mean...
- Finish this off, Squak.

- I see my cousin moments
away from finishing this task.

Say, "Cousin, it is yours."

I'm gonna give you another Bardic.

- Ah! (claps)
- And simply try

and catch Theodore's
attention as I lay there.

- What're you doing trying to get?

- [Omar] You're just laying down like-

- He is under the effects of a Compel Duel

so you are in the opposite
direction of where he's walking.

- [Emily] Oh no!

- [Aabria] So what you doing, bud?

- No, Cousin, it's
witchcraft. Don't fall for it!

You're beautiful! But
it's witchcraft that...

- Theodore, Theodore.

(cast laughing)
(Oscar snapping fingers)

Hey, Theodore.

- [Emily] I wanna do something so stupid.

- Ah, I was thrown.

- By you.
- By me.

Perhaps it was a little too
hard, Theodore. Hey, Theodore.

- Do a persuasion check with disadvantage

'cause he's magically
compelled to pay attention.

- I've got some ouchies.

Come look at these ouchies.
- [Aabria] He's got ouchies.

- Ah, these ouchies need kissing. (groans)

- You have to beat a 12.

- Be so sexy I beat a Compel Duel.

(Aabria laughing)

- That is a 17.

- Oh.
- Wow!

- He is walking towards you
and yet with a bird broad

on his shoulder he looks over

and makes eye contact with you.

- [Emily] Wow!

(Lou groans)

- I will soothe your
wounds in but a moment.

- Great-
- Let me handle the boy.

- Of course, of course.

I'll be here when your done. (groans)

- Hold up real quick.
And are you really hurt?

(Aabria laughing)

- Bro, come on. Bro, come on.

- Andhera, Andhera.
- Oh.

- [Emily] This is...
- This is one of my go-tos.

(Lou moans in pain)

- This is a classic romantic trap.

(cast laughing)
- Oh, I need help.

I need help from Theodore and no one else.

I'm good. Theodore!

- And so hurt, he's so hurt.

But also I'm growing-
- What's your deal?

- I got activated hearing boy, that's it.

- Okay, Chirp, you're up

as Theodore turns away
and continues to walk-

- Andhera, I want you to
not take this personally.

Squak needs this.

I'm going to use my Metamagic
Adept to cast Quicken Spell

so I can dispel magic on the Compel Duel

so that he gets his full attention.

- Wow, you are a good cousin.

- Do you take it personally?

It's only because of what happened.

- (laughs) It's only
because of the prior events.

- It's only because of how
much he needs the attention!

- You say that and
having picked up on this,

and this Andhera's first time in public.

But of course, he's so injured
and needs such sexy help.

- (claps) Yes, yes, yes, yes,
yes! Oh, thank you, Andhera.

- That our duel can wait until afterwards

once you've done sex on
the injuries sustained by-

- Did he say sex on the
injuries? I think I've got a-

- Let me be very clear,

Wuvvy makes a guttural like. (groans)

- The throw led to the throes of love,

and were I to get in the way-
- Oh! (claps)

- Oh that was, and now
quit while I'm ahead.

- I'm glad you don't take it personally.

It's just he needs this.

And then I will attack twice.

- There you go.
- With my Shadow Blade.

- [Aabria] Let's go.

- Another crit.
- Oh my God.

- What are these dice?
That is a nat 20 and a 19!

- You do not need to roll damage.

Just tell me how you remove the antler.

- Oh my God.

- I think that all my feathers
sort of cover it like a fan.

And then as I retract the fan,

I produce the antler in my hand.

And then I look at Andhera.
- It's huge, by the way.

This thing is like two feet long.

- I know it's, whoa! (laughs)

- I'm so sorry.

I just needed your object
work to reflect it. How cool.

- And then I present it
to Andhera and I'm like,

"I was true to my word. I will share."

- Aw.
- Aw.

- And I reach out. I...
(mimics sheathing sword)

You were true to your word
and you're true to your bird.

- [Oscar] Oh no. (laughs)
(Brennan laughing)

- And I want to be clear,
Andhera starts sweating.

After what they just said
and avoids eye contact

as to not get feedback.

- And then I want to waft all the fog

to envelop these two because I know

that there can be no witnesses.

- In that moment, the moment
you saw the antler free

and produce it in your hand,

all of that feral physicality
in Theodore goes away.

And it's not that he shrinks,

but you feel him untense and calm.

And even as you're moving the fog around

he returns to something more normal

and pleasing and pleasant and svelte.

And he gently lowers you from his shoulder

and smiles at you with a grin
bright white without fangs

and gives you a deep bow that goes,

like you can feel the breath
from his nose on your knees

as he says, "I have never been bested,

but there's a first time for everything."

- I believe it was my
cousin that bested you

who is so injured right now.

- Ah, I need, I need sexy help.

(cast laughing)

Specific, and no other help will do.

- Do you know of any medics? (laughs)

- I will take care of your
cousin, but this prize is yours.

And the antler itself,
even as you were holding it

between you and Andhera, shrinks down

to the size of a small carved

(players gasp)

hart, and that's yours.

It goes in the box.
- What?

(players clapping)

- But, I mean, we shared
it. We worked together.

- Look, uh-
- Split it in half.

- Split it!
- Just crack it in half

and break some harts, get it?

Break some...

Thank you! Inspiration.

- [Omar] Oh, what? (laughs)

- If and when the mechanical
advantage conferred by that

comes into question you can decide

how it's distributed
between the two of you.

- Okay, I do intend to
share this with you.

- I'm sure we can figure
out intentions later on.

And then looks around like,
I think that one worked.

- I'm still thinking about
when you said, "Be a big boy."

(cast laughing)

- Theodore goes and
sweeps you up and says,

"My friends call me Chooch."

- Well, Chooch, I am in
need of some healing,

but it seems that you may also as well.

And I rub my hand along the space

where his antler once was.

My cousin can be very violent,

but I am of a softer touch.

- I love a softer touch.

And you feel him almost purr
under your ministrations.

And he will happily carry you back through

as the hunt is officially called,

and that dark night lighting
returns to somewhere

in between a pleasant twilight

as you all are ushered and escorted

by the other helpers of the
hunt back to the clearing

for refreshments and then
back through the tunnel

to the tidal island for the
rest of your Bloom experience.

But as we sort of fade out
from that, you're walking away

and Advisor from behind
a tree catches your eye,

kind of gives you a motion
to sandbag and stay behind.

- Lady Chirp Featherfowl,
I'll join you for a meal

or something shortly after.

- Oh, sure, um...
- [Oscar] Or something.

- This guy's good.
- Smooth.

- A meal would be nice.
What do you like to eat?

- Me, I usually kind of feast

off of the water that
drips down from cave walls.

(Aabria clears throat)
But you know,

we can explore different
types of delectables.

- I would love to expand your palate.

- Oh. (chuckles) And that
palate's gonna get, yep.

(cast laughing)
- Yeah, okay.

- All right, I'll see you. I'll
catch you later. (chuckles)

And I drift off.

- I think even from being carried

I'm gonna look over his shoulder
back at my cousin. Yeah...

- I know, right?
- Right?

Well, he's, I mean, remember,

he's still pillar boy in some ways.

- He's supposed to be the
biggest catch this year.

- Somehow. Well, depending on who you ask.

And I'm gonna again touch
the side of his chin.

- I'm happy with my catch.

- Oh, and I'm happy to be caught.

(crew laughing)

- Amazing.

But Advisor kind of pulls
you off to the side.

- And I kind of glance around

to make sure that no one is near us.

- They've all cleared out.
- Okay, great.

I still cast Darkness with
the objects that I have.

- Amazing, he is unbothered by darkness

and simply relaxes into it,

more at home than he is here in this.

- Advisor, I'm making
diplomatic moves left and right,

(chuckles) up and down, if you will.

And things seem to be going pretty well

with Lady Chirp Featherfowl.

- [Aabria] Mm.

- I wanted to ask your
advice about something.

- You're finally coming to me.

- Yes.

- [Aabria] Okay.

- It's less of a question, I suppose,

and more of just a general
reaction, if you will.

And Andhera puts a hand
on Advisor's shoulder

and then a second hand
on Advisor's shoulder

and Andhera slumps down a bit
and goes, "I can't do this.

I can't fucking do this.

They all, I just, I thought
I'd do like a thing.

I would just like it to be
big and deep and impressive

and they all, and then
they would think I'm a big,

a big, impressive person
and I can't do this.

(Aabria shushing)

I keep saying things
that sound ridiculous.

I can't do this. I keep stammering!"

- Shush.
- I try to flirt.

- Calm yourself.
- And it sounds like,

it sound like literally,
it sounds like guano.

Like honestly, if you could
just put like a choice

into batshit, that's what it is.

It's batshit choices that I'm
making, Advisor. What is this?

I can't do this! They still
think I'm fucking pillar kid!

- Steel your nerves, young master.

- I'm trying, I'm trying, I'm trying.

And when I do, when I focus
on it I can get the voice down

and then I feel better,
good, and this'll be good.

But then I remember
that it's actually not,

and I'm scared every
second of my fucking life

so advice fucking please now!

- And in this moment in the darkness

that only the two of you can see through,

Advisor goes quiet and simply hugs you

and gives you a moment of reprieve.

Now, any other court would
have words of comfort,

but you are from caves
in the cold and dark.

And the only comfort you
know is that of touch.

And he simply holds you,

warmer than the cold darkness around you

and will wait until your
breathing returns to normal,

until you are ready to let go.

- Okay, okay, thank you. Yes, okay.

Oh, thank you, Advisor.

Thank you, that actually helps a lot.

Thank you, good. (chuckles)

- I watch everything you do.

- Hm, yes.

And that makes me very
nervous all the time.

- No one alive or otherwise

knows how hard you are
working more than me.

- Yes, yes.

- Keep going.

- Okay, okay. Yes, of course.

Yes, yes, absolutely. Keep going.

Plus the Bloom doesn't
last the entire time

so it doesn't matter if I get a little bit

in over my head, right?

I'm here to represent the
Court, and that's what I'll do.

Great, I'm good. I'm
good, thank you for that.

I'm good, let me, let's
go wander around a bit.

Let's go take my weird dog for a walk

or something zany like that.
(Aabria groans)

It's always fun. We can
try to make him talk again.

(laughs) Make him say words.

- Okay, whatever you need.
- [Oscar] Oh no.

- And while he is insisting
that they're relaxed,

I think a hand is still
clenching Advisor's

and shaking a bit.

- Advisor holds your hand just as tightly,

and you feel a little bone pop.

He says nothing and does nothing

and simply squeezes as hard as he can back

to return pressure for pressure

in the dark as you walk out of it.

And as you pass through
and into that clearing

where some of those last
helpers of the hunt remain,

he stops you and makes eye
contact with one of the helpers

and nods to allow them to approach you.

And Hunter offers you a horn.

(players gasp)

- Oh, thank you.

- For your shared victory.

- Ah, great, yes. It was hard-fought.

And it turns out that the real hunt

was the friends we made along the way.

- Advisor just gives you a little squeeze.

- Okay, thank you. I'll treasure this.

Treasure, thank you.

- And leads you through and back.

And we fade out, except we don't quite

because there is one person
still hanging back in the woods.

She didn't follow you.

Duty calling in the form
of the taste of lemon

at the back of her tongue,
Gwyndolin Thistle-hop,

you wait and wait and wait until the taste

is almost overwhelming on your palate

until everyone else is gone.

- She reaches down and grabs to her side,

and as she's doing that

almost seamlessly pulls
up a magnifying glass.

And as that motion of pulling
up that magnifying glass

hits here, she's transformed.

Her once-pink hair becomes
short and cropped and spiky.

Her beautiful flowing blue
dress now is dark violet.

And she has moth wings along her back

that have the symbol of lost objects.

- [Emily] Ooh!
- [Oscar] Hm...

- And she looks into the spyglass

or the magnifying glass and she says,

"Hey Mika, what do you need?"

- And that's where we're going
to end tonight's episode,

chapter two, "The Great Hart Hunt."

- I'm freaking out!
(cast laughing)

- I'm reading between
those lines. Hot damn.

- There's nothing between those lines.

I drank tea and went to bed.

- I'm sure there's something
between those lines.

- There is not. I drank
tea and went to bed.

- Exceptional service under duress

never goes unnoticed or
unrewarded. (slaps arms) (exhales)

- Low expectations can be
just as impairing in a duel.

- Cousin, you've done it again.

- I need you to get a couple
items. Can you do that?

- Are you sending me on a fetch quest?

- Well, I mean, you might have 'em on you.

- Keep your eyes trained
on young Gwyndolin.

She is not who she seems.

- Any magic that is cast
by a non-participant

would have disastrous repercussions.

- There he stands, proud and
true, the hero of Briarfalls!

- Do you not see the battle
that's about to take place?

I don't think it's teatime
business at this moment.

- Everyone's yelling a lot,

and it's scaring the shit out of me.

I will retire to my nest.

Good day, all.