Dimension 20 (2018-…): Season 13, Episode 17 - The Luckless, the Abandoned, and the Forsaked (Part 1) - full transcript

The Gunner Channel finds themselves surrounded by enemies on all sides.

Are you wondering how healthy the food you are eating is? Check it - foodval.com
(upbeat music)

- Hello one and all!

Welcome back to another thrilling
episode of Dimension 20:

A Starstruck Odyssey.

I'm your humble Dungeon
Master, Brennan Lee Mulligan

and with me as always
are our intrepid heroes.

Say hi, intrepid heroes.

- [All] Hi, intrepid heroes!

- Naruto running as fast as they can

straight into the waiting
clutches of their enemies.

Last we left off, we
found our intrepid heroes

here in orbit around Rubian V,

the moon of the gas giant Rubian.

Here in a cluttered
asteroid belt of space junk

surrounding the moon,

we now find ourselves

not too far away from Madrugada station,

which you can see out there

towards the end of the asteroid field,

but that is not what
is interesting to you.

Hidden within the asteroid
field ahead of you,

you see a strange alien satellite

concocted by the designs

of the Cerebro-Slugs
of the house of Frangus

in ages long past - the Fang of Frangus!

- Father!
(all laugh)

- [Brennan] You'll
notice awaiting you here

are a vast array of factions

all gathered at this point,

having anticipated your
arrival in this place.

Closest to the Fang of Frangus,

not altogether that surprising,

is a core squadron of United
Free Trade Planets' vessels,

a squadron of UFTP fighters
around a central command ship

positioned just outside
of the asteroid belt.

Also closing in around them

are a squadrant of Repo-Reaper vessels,

and very small, if you zoom
in way, way, way small,

do you guys see the squadrons

of Warfare Whitneys flying
through space towards you?

- God, no.
- Oh my god, they're so small.

- I'm gonna fucking jump out
and fight them in the air.

(Brennan laughs)

- Fight me in space!
- Fight me in space.

- [Brennan] Fight me in space.

- I'm just gonna ram 'em.
(Emily laughs)

- [Brennan] At your six o'clock
and at your three o'clock

are two enormous Amercadian command ships

with an entire squadron,

you know back in New Texas,

a small handful of Brigade Tigers

almost took you out of the sky,

you are facing down two
Amercadian command ships

and 20 Brigade tigers.

- [Ally] It's a little overpowered,

you know what I mean?
- What's that?

Oh, maybe, you know, but hey.

- It's like, okay, Amercadia
what are you trying to prove?

- And then to your left, you'll also see,

having just come out of FTL,

is a massive sort of
fun and friendly looking

Griivarr World command vessel, this giant-

- Very soft, soft edges.
- Soft edges.

- It's not sharp.
- Imagineered.

- These are the factions
that now surround you.

All of your adventures here in the galaxy

since that bad job where
you got some wrong intel

and got a crate full of

rotten powdered imitation egg substitute-

- And our best friend.
- And your best friend Skip,

your wonderful best friend, Skip,

you all started to find that
the ball was rolling up hill.

You got your hands on not
only a new captain, pilot,

but a new business manager,
owner, Margaret Encino,

who left her high paying
job at UFTP to come

and whip this business into shape,

and this crew of proldiers-

- O, captain, my captain.

- O, captain, my captain.
- I'm so proud.

- But now of course,

you are not just the crew
of a proldier vessel,

you are all the owners of the Wurst.

You have gathered here
together at the Fang of Frangus

with the Princeps Zortch,
who after all is your chef

for your ship.
- Princhef.

- [Brennan] With Gnosis,
a holofract supercomputer,

a living synthetic cybernetic
deity and your friend

who has a plan to forestall
the coming violence on Rubian V

to somehow save that planet

and its people from certain doom,

whether at the nonstop

you know hollowing out of their planet

by United Free Trade Planets,

or by the eruption of a
god slug from the planet

in the Great Emhatchening.

A lot of stuff going on here,

but the point is this,
you are a union ship.

You have Acme-Ashmun Force
shields, top of the line,

atomo-torch particle blasters,

you got a 1.2 million credit fight purse,

you are sponsored, you are union.

You have a crew, a casino and
Plug's Butt Ugly Stuff Hut

slapped on the back of your vessel.

There it is.

The ball is rolling up

and you've just come
outta faster than light.

We enter initiative

and every single enemy
faction readies actions.

- Battle stations.
- What is battle-

- Battle stations, we can't
be surprised and we are not,

did we come into this surprised?

- You did come into this surprised.

- No we didn't, and I expend a power die


Zac, Lou, and the two
gunners can act normally.

They're here!

- It's good to fight alongside a psychic.

- Incredible, yeah.

As you guys are leaving faster than light

Riva starts to react before
you see anything, 'cause.

- What's going on, what's
going, what do you see?

- I feel it in the air, the portents.

- And I, and when I roll
initiative, could I,

I can roll, move forward.

- Before you roll initiative,
that's absolutely correct.

- Okay I just really
need quickly to bring up.

- Six.
- Six.

- Margaret, like, could,
we have the proof that UFTP

- Yeah we do.
...is working against Griivarr.

- Yeah, we do.
- Should we send it

to Griivarr?
- Yeah we should.

- And try to turn them against UFTP?

- [Zac] Yeah let's get
everyone mad at each other.

- We have Handy Annie's recording

of the complete confession of it.

- Yeah.
- Okay.

So what's gonna happen is this,

as you come out, what is your movement

as you begin to inch forward?

- Got it, I guess I just
keep going forward, right?

Like I'm trying to think
of what route to take,

maybe like towards the Warfare Whitneys?

- [Brennan] Yeah, I can dig it.

- [Zac] I rolled a six, so
that means six times 50.

- So 300 feet?
- 300 feet forward.

- [Brennan] So the Wurst is gonna move

300 feet towards the
Warfare Whitneys in space.

As you're looking at the bridge,

Zortch on the bridge with
Margaret, Riva, and Skip looks out

and goes, "This is the,
this is the bad place.

Riva you warned me not
to come to this place."

Zortch goes, "Oh God, what?

This is where the slugs are gonna-"

And Zortch like says, "Should
I hide? What should I do?"

- Keep making eggs.
- Okay.

- That's your job.
- All right I'm gonna go.

- I put my arm around Zortch, I go,

"Look a little bit of a mix up.

What you're doing will look
identical to the bad thing,

but it's actually gonna
be the good thing."

- What?
- Yes, it's crazy.

It's complicated.
- As long as you're working,

as long as you're doing
what you want to do

on the satellite, everything's fine.

If you're not doing what you wanna do-

- We're gonna make sure-
- On satellite.

- You get-
- Nothing is fine.

- Yes.

- Does anyone have a way to protect them

from a brain slug?

- I take, hey, this is
me on the gunner channel.

- Hey.
- A plastic bag.

- No, no.
- Let's put a helmet on them.

- I'm gonna go put a space helmet on.

- [Emily] Put a space helmet on.

- I'm gonna put a space helmet on.

- Don't let them get in your nose!

- Can I explain to them?

- Take off your Breathe Right
you want closed nostrils.

- Yeah, don't breathe.

Can I explain to them
the idea of like you,

someone wants to slug you,

as long as you're not slugged

you're not doing the evil thing.

We're gonna make sure that doesn't like,

and then explain who
they're looking out for.

Like they don't wanna be
around Big Barry Nyne.

- They're like, okay, all right,

I'm gonna go to the kitchen.

I'm gonna make some eggs.

I'm gonna look out for Big Barry Nyne

and we'll be good to go.

- And I'm wearing my hair
in a ponytail right now.

- I was just gonna say the same thing.
- Okay? Remember that.

- So if you see a Barry
and he says do this,

but he's not, doesn't have a ponytail,

you don't listen to that Barry.

- I only listen to you
when you have a ponytail.

- Right unless we get the
slug out of Barry Nyne,

then he's our best friend again.

But I will tell him to put a ponytail on,

so always ponytail Barry,
trust ponytail Barry.

- Always ponytail Barry.
- Always ponytail Barry.

- That's why we all have hair ties.

- That's why we all have hair ties

alright everyone show your hair ties.

- I am also wearing a ponytail.

- I wrapped it around my
whole head, just like.

- And I have psychic concealment,

also I have had it going on-
- On Zortch and Gnosis?

- On Zortch and Gnosis this whole time.

- Amazing.
- So.

They're harder to find psychically.

- Zortch runs off into the
ship to go find a space helmet.

- Plastic bag will do
if you can't find that.

- Plug, you got any guns
on your ship, ship guns?

- Do I have guns?

- Can you shoot from the butt plug?

- I can, but it's not good.

- Plug, you are so special to us

if you get scared, just leave.

I just need to know that
you're gonna be okay.

- [Siobhan] But you're
not gonna gonna die today.

- You know what I'm gonna say.

- You're gonna die tomorrow.

- I'm gonna die tomorrow. That's right.

By the way, who's this
handsome gal in the casino?

- Oh my god.
- That is Bambi LeRoux.

- Oh my God.

- Make sure you give her a smile.

- [Ally] And you need
to go buy her a drink.

- You absolutely.

- All right, I'm gonna get,

I'm gonna hitch my pants up
another bell loop and I'm gonna-

- Honestly, if we die
and Plug gets laid...

- That's fine.
- 100% it was worth it.

- He was absolutely the protagonist.

- I think that evens out completely.

- It evens out completely,

galaxy falls to ruin, but Plug got laid.

- I have to be honest, you
just absolutely fed me.

- Incredible.
- You fed me.

- That is so insane.

- You can also see up on the bridge,

just sort of in his sweater vest,

holding a sort of little
travel thermos of coffee,

Raymond Zam looks over and
goes, "Oh boy aye yai yai."

- I have a question,
there's so many people on,

I'm saying this through the Intercom,

Raymond, there's so many
people with computers,

is there any sort of hacking
expertise from the Jib Jobbers

that they could sort of run

some sort of technical
interface with their computers?

- Well, normally that
wouldn't be possible,

but you guys upgraded to gold tier,

so you cannot force the Jib Jobbers

to work on behalf of the ship,

'cause they're obviously customers.

But if you go into your gold tier profile

on the app, you can offer
a Rigon of free membership

and if they elect to that,

they'll temporarily be conscripted
into the crew of the ship

and they'll man weapon systems
or they'll do whatever.

- Incredible, can I go down
and talk to all of them?

I'm not only opening up the thing,

but I would like to try to convince them

every one of them to help us.

- Absolutely, we are
gonna be in initiative.

So that's one of the things
you can do with your turn

if you wish.
- Cool.

- And you see Aurora Nebbins
looks up at you, Sid,

and goes (alien growling)

and just curls up around your
seat at the gunner station

and tenses up almost like she
wants to leap out into space.

- There is a moon roof,
Aurora you gimme the sign and,

and I can just send you out there,

you can breathe in space, right?

Eat a turtle if you can.

(all laugh)

Okay eat a turtle if
you wanna go into space.

- All right.
- Turtles going...

- All right so, up on the
bridge in the comm station,

you guys rolled very low
for your ship's initiative.

- We did.
- Got a nat one

on ship's initiative,
comm stations come up,

Gust Weatherall's face comes
up, Riva, at your comm station.

Boom, and next to that is
Damian Factor, your old boss,

who both sort of start
speaking at the same time.

Gust Weatherall says,

"As an Admiral of the
Amercadian Space Brigade,

we hereby demand the immediate surrender

of the traitor, Norman Takamori."

- Please hold.

- [Brennan] Our Amercadian
Tigers are each going to take

a full double move towards the Wurst.

And you see - Riva,
popping up next to that,

this is sort of a handsome
looking sort of UFTP guy saying,

"Hi, do I have the comms
officer of the Wurst?

- That's correct, you do, thank
you for calling the Wurst.

- Damien Factor with
United Free Trade Planets,

we are trying to get in
touch with Margaret Encino,

who we believe is the owner of the vessel.

We need the immediate surrender
of the Princeps Zortch,

so if that can be made
effective immediately,

any movement on your ship
is going to trigger us

firing on your ship.

- Thank you so much for
all of this information.

We've heard so much
about you, please hold.

- I don't wanna, oh,

that UFTP squadron of fighters
is gonna come flying in.

They're gonna take a double move as well.

They also have 400 feet of movement

as they come in on the Wurst here.

Comms comes in on the
bridge once again, Riva,

underneath as swarms of these
Warfare Whitneys comes in,

Hi there, sugar, could
you patch us through

to your gunner channel?

- Absolutely not! Can I help you?

- We need the surrender of one
rogue android on your ship.

She's a bit of a copyright liability.

- Ah, thank you so much for asking,

but actually I believe

that you are the copyright
culpability, please hold!

- Boom, goes off.

- A switchboard.
- Yeah.

- Warfare Whitneys are
gonna take a double move.

So that's only gonna be 400
feet of movement for them.

- Their movement is 200 feet?
- Yeah.

- Wild.
- Yeah, they're fast.

- Gunner channel, just to
be absolutely clear we are,

the metaphorical word for
it that you use I believe,

is absolutely screwed.

Just in case you were wondering,

maybe were, maybe weren't

- Well, we're nuts and bolts

so we're all about getting screwed.

- Yeah.
- Isn't that right Sid?

- Yeah! I look at

I've hung like a Vercadian
protector droid calendar.

- They're all soaking wet.

- Well, I look at Veep 909,

Yeah, I like getting screwed.

- Another screen opens up on
the comms in front of you, Riva,

you see like a scary looking dude

in a weird dripping basement

wearing sunglasses in
this like dark room, goes,

"Do I have the comms
officer of the Wurst?"

- You do, you okay that
room looks very drippy.

- You can just call me Doc.

We're looking for Gunnie Miggles-Rashbax,

we've gotten word from
Repo-Reapers corporate

that his account is
actually about to be closed.

- Yes, I believe so.

- Great so we've put him on fire sale

and let our agents know

that we have a limited amount of time

to collect on his contract
before corporate closes on him.

- Oh, that sounds highly immoral,

please hold.
- Ask how much it is.

- Oh yeah, how much is it?
- 750.000 credits.

- Oh, that's exactly the same
as it was before, please hold.

- Yeah, you basically
see that they're like,

if we can have corporate
like make this deal

at at the same time that we're
collecting on this contract,

we make double the money basically.

Another screen opens up, you see this

beautiful elegantly decorated
alien monarch saying,

"At once connect me to my
child, the Princeps Zortch."

- Is that your child or
is that your body's child?

Please hold.

- [Brennan] Let's go ahead and
move the Repo-Reaper faction,

they're also gonna take a double move

that's 700 feet directly for the Wurst.

Both Amercadian command ships
and the UFTP command ship

are going to ready actions.

- All right, yeah.
- On the comm station,

Riva, you see Uncle Bob shows up.

Well, hey there, what's your name, friend?

- I think you already know my name

and I think you are lying.

- Well tough news,

seems like you've got a piece
of Griivarr world technology.

As a proud spokesman and
owner of Griivarr Enterprises,

we'd love to get it off your hands.

Would you be a pal and send it on over?

- I don't see what being friend
has to do with any of that.

That doesn't seem like what it is at all.

And actually how can you own
something that is sentient?

That doesn't seem right. Please hold.

- [Brennan] Let's move
those Griivarr fighters,

and the Griivarr command ship

is also going to ready an action.

Lots of enormous command
ships with readied actions,

a bunch of fighters closing in on you.

It is your turn.

- Skip, you wanna ram some wienies?

- Okay I can, can we patch
Gnosis into this conversation?

Gnosis, are you wanting us
to just outrun this situation

and deposit you onto the Fang?

- [Brennan] Is Gnosis
plugged in or is there any?

- Gnosis is not plugged in right now,

but I also worry that
Barry Syx and the gang

might already be on the
Fang so just dropping-

- I'm actually Barry Syx.

- Sorry, Barry Nyne,
there's a lot going on.

- Barry slug.
- Yeah, Barry slug.

Excuse me - Barry slug.
- So sorry, King Prilbus.

- Yeah, okay, so 100 percent King Prilbus-

- Father.
- Yeah, your, Skip's dad.

- Father.
- Who?

Yeah so I'm worried that
King Prilbus, A.K.A Father,

might be on the Fang already.

- My personal thought
is outrun the big guys,

ram the wienies.
- Great.

- Yeah.
- Sounds good.

- Cause we're not gonna be able to,

they're faster than us, period.

- And the big guys won't
follow us into the field.

- True!
- Asteroid field.

- So we can just go on the other side.

- Exactly.
- Yeah.

Let's just get to the
asteroids as fast as possible.

- I think I wanna pop my
head out of the moon roof,

and shout to the Whitneys,

obviously they probably can't hear me

as we get close to ram them, ramming them,

I wanna at least say, "Join us!"

- We're gonna, I'm gonna
reroute power to the engines.

So our flying speed is doubled.

- [Brennan] Your flying speed goes to 600.

- Yes.
- Yeah.

- But we will now take,

our shields will take double damage,

and regenerate by half, and our
weapons will do half damage.

- Our weapons do half damage?

- Half damage.
- Just for the turn?

- That's fine, because we, we
can maybe be trying to do more.

Yeah, that's fine.

- So 1200 puts us just a
little in front of them,

does anyone have anything to
let us move forward at all?

- I can boost engines.

- Yeah, maybe if we boost engines first,

that will give us enough.

- Great.
- Come on, Riva.

- [Murph] I was gonna say, can I do?

- You can do a direct, yeah.

You can give direct and give advantage.

- I'll do that.

- Oh wait, actually what we
should do is I should direct

and you should do it.

- All right we're gonna
use that roll though.

- So, so I'll roll.

- With advantage 'cause
Riva's helping you.

- [Siobhan] My thing.

- 16 plus three, yeah 19.

- Great.
- 19, all right.

You boost engines, so
that's so now it's 700.

So you can move 1400.

- All right so that puts us

just past the Warfare Whitneys

and I would like to ram them.

- Hell yes, is anyone doing
anything before Zac moves

before Skip pilots forward for the ram?

- Maybe we should boost shields.

- What do I do for boosting shields?

- Same DC 12 strength.
- Okay.

- With the ship.
- Nice.

- 15.
- Hell yeah.

- Roll a d8 and that's
temp shield points right?

- Awesome.
- Cool.

- I was going to do-

- Seven.

- [Ally] Nice I was gonna do kind of like

housekeeping-y trying to
like go down to Jib Job

and do that kind of stuff if
that's cool with everyone.

- Yeah.
- Margaret, we'll do you

in a second.
- Cool.

- So we've used action,
action, action, action,

and now we're doing ram.

As you move those command ships

have some readied actions
here, hold on one second.

- Can I use Colonian Turn?
- It's a reaction, right?

- Yeah to attempt to, I spend a power die

and try to move out of
the way of the attack,

but I'm gonna move towards
the Warfare Whitneys

in the hopes that I can ram all of them.

- Hell yeah, man.
- Nice.

- Go for it.
- Five, so that's three,

no 250 feet forward.

- Number one, you doing that
literally I just measured it,

moves you into long range
for the Amercadian vessel

right behind you.
- Yeah!

- So you hit the guns and
you hear Gust Weatherall

over the comms go,

"Goddamn it, Takamori,
when are you gonna learn?"

And he's gonna take an
attack, disadvantaged,

does a 12 hit the newly plated Wurst?

- It does not.
- It does not.

- Boom, assault laser.

By the way this laser coming in

is six d6 plus four damage

from a command ship assault laser,

glances over your shields.

That's a miss from the second Amercadian.

This one's coming from
the UFTP command ship.

Also a miss.

- Yes.
- Wow.

- And here's Uncle Bob
with the Griivarr Worlds,

Unbelievable a fourth miss.

- Yes!
- Yes!

- [Brennan] As Skip hits the engine,

Gunnie down below deck, bam,
hits the thing shields lower.

You guys feel the energy leaving

your atomo-torch particle blasters,

and you hear a rumbling and shaking,

you guys can hear chips
falling in the casino.

The engines have never burned this hot.

- The chips!
- Hold on, Bambi!

- You see Bambi goes, "Oh!"
and goes off her seat,

and Plug catches her in a dip and says,

"Well I'll say you don't seem to have

your sea legs yet, lil lady."

- Oh my god!

- Oh, well you give me a
smile, mister. A real cowboy.

- There you go Plug, there you go!

- One of my things right now as Operator

is as a bonus action I can
learn certain information

about the capabilities
of a target of ours.

- Hell yeah.

- Can you tell me the armor class

and current hull points of
one of the big Amercadians

just to have an idea of what this is?

- [Brennan] Hell yes, hold on one second.

I'm gonna give that to
you, hold on a second.

- It's gonna be quite scary.

- The AC is five million.

- Yeah, yeah, I mean do we wanna know?

I know we're gonna run,
but it's a bonus action.

- Margaret, this is a very fun
move, I'm gonna tell you why,

the command ships each
have an armor class of 11,

very easy to hit they're
enormous they're quite large.

But the other thing you discover

is that they though look identical,

the hull points and shield
points of the ship to your right

are way lower than the one behind you,

as you look out

you're reading on your
screen in front of you,

you're like shields for
the Amercadian command ship

to your right way down,
hull points way down,

that ship has sustained damage,

even though it doesn't look like it.

- And that's definitely not the one

that Gust Weatherall is in right?

- Yeah Gust is in the-
- In the nice one.

- Gust is in the, you think
Gust is in the one behind you.

Like just the attitude of him talking

is like bearing down on you,
something weird's going on.

You guys have the rest of your turn,

I would advise you to squeeze
every last drop out of it.

'cause this next turn's gonna suck.

- Yeah my action I would
love to go down to a Jib Job

and gather everyone around.

I'm sure they know something's going on.

'cause the whole thing is shaking

and let them know about the
incredible new promotion

that we have going on.

- Cool.
- It's in app.

- Cool so you just like grabbed
your phone and jump down,

you can do everything you
need to do as an operator

from your phone.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Cool, so you jump down to Jib Job

and that was a bonus action,

this is your action, right?

- Yeah this is my actual action.

- Cool, amazing, so you see

yeah the Jib Jobbers
look up as you approach,

what do you say to them?

- I'm just like,

we have an incredible promotion right now

we love all of you on this ship
and we wanna offer you all,

some free Jib Job time, this is a family.

We're all working together as one unit.

If you look out the window,

there's a chance we might all die.

We'd love you to, we'd love for your help.

And then I wanna make groups of people

and give them an order
for each pod to work on.

- You see that Raymond
sends the gold tier thing

over to your profile.

Everyone logs in, give
me a persuasion check.

I'll say for every point above 10

that's how many Jib Jobber you
get to a max of all 13 at 23.

- Okay, nat one, okay.
- Brutal, oh no.

- My heart, oh god.
- Okay, uh, wow that's wild.

- It's okay Margaret,
you have a lot going on.

- Yeah, yeah I've got a lot going on.

Okay I fake, I just
have to pee really bad,

I'm so sorry I'll be right back.

I run to the bathroom.

I'm gonna come back next turn

and double the amount of free
Jib Job time that we have.

- Incredible.
- Like we're cooking.

- Am I able to open a communication

or have I already used my communication?

- Yeah you can open
it, you have an action.

Any if you guys have bonus action stuff,

you can do go for it, go for it.

- I mean, I don't know
if you would let it count

as a bonus action,

but can I open an open
channel to everybody

that makes it seem like I
pressed the button incorrectly?

- Sure absolutely.

- And just say to Margaret,
what did you say about that

Amercadian vessel on the right

not having any armor or
shield or hit points.

That seems crazy.
- Yeah, yeah.

- I wonder if anybody
else knows about that.

- Yeah, definitely.

- [Brennan] And is that just broadcasting?

- That's just broadcasting to everybody.

- Everybody okay, cool copy that.

So that's your action, is there anything,

any other bonus actions,

anything else people are doing this turn?

- I'm gonna do a thing just
for like a mechanic thing,

I'm gonna overload their weapons,

but mostly just for the
creative thinking ability.

- Gotcha.
- A d8 twice,

I just want an eight,
I got an eight awesome.

That just means the next
turn my dice is a d10.

- Amazing.
- I mean-

- Wait so it was any point
over how much was it?

- Over 10.
- Over 10 okay.

- Can't get a brain blast.
- That's a one.

Can I defiant to at least
get a couple people working?

- Sure, absolutely. Yeah yeah.

- Actually why not I'll go into the zone.

- Hell yeah you went into the zone.

- Three okay.
- Three.

So four you have four people that go like,

oh, I'll take a free ride home.

- Great and for the rest
of you, I'll be right back.

But for those people, can I
of them reach out to the union

and let them know that we
are severely under attack?

- [Murph] Oh that's great.

- You see, Raymond actually
looks over and says,

"I'm happy to do that.

are you okay with me
using the ship's login?"

- I'm so okay - once again, I have to pee,

so that's why I'm being so weird,

but you...I would love
it if you would do that,

I give him all like the
login stuff that he needs

for like my ship email.

- You see Raymond goes, okay gotcha,

takes his little thermos

and goes, speech to text.

Hi, this is Raymond Zam on
behalf of Margaret Encino,

we're aboard the Wurst right now,

just calling to union headquarters

to let you know that we are surrounded

by a number of aggressive, hostile ships,

engaged in active combat,

and we would absolutely love your help

at the nearest convenience.

Thanks so much, Raymond Zam,

mobile number, and just starts.

- We love.
- Incredible.

- I look at him, and I
go, "You're consistent

and that's one of the
most beautiful things

out of being a human and being alive."

- You know, it doesn't
take, it's a wild galaxy.

You don't need to make it anymore wild.

- Slap, mwah.
(all laugh)

- All right so let's resolve this ram.

- All right so the ram is a ram check

versus the target's maneuverings.

- Towards their dex okay, copy that.

- So we have a plus six to this.

Dirty 20.
- That is a success.

- Okay and can I just
ram through all of them?

- So on an attack run,

you can either do an
extra plus three damage

or have them become stunned

until the end of their next turn.

- That's great we could just outrun them.

- They don't have any save,
they don't have any save to?

- No, if you win the
contest, you can just,

you can do normal ram damage

and choose to have them be stunned.

- Okay, let's do that.
- Yeah, let's do that.

So my ram damage is equal to
two of your ship's hull die

plus your ship's strength modifiers.

So this is two d8 plus three.

- Two d8 plus three.

- And if we have a shield points remaining

our ship takes half of this
damage, 'cause otherwise.

- [Emily] I have seven temporary hits.

- Five and a two plus three, so 10 damage.

- So that first Warfare
Whitney's gonna take

10 points of damage and
undergo the stunned condition.

- So am I only hitting the first one or?

- [Brennan] You're only
hitting the first one.

- Couldn't just push through?

- So you have movement

and they can't get an attack
of opportunity on you,

but you cannot take multiple rams

against multiple ships without
using multiple actions.

- Got it.
- Okay.

- How much damage do we
take from what we just did?

- We take a full ten.

- But our shields normally take
half damage so we take five.

- Half, half, half.
- Double.

So it's half, half double so it's half.

- [Emily] Half, so we still have two,

then we still have two temporary.

- Great.
- Great.

And I am gonna use my bonus
action to enhance scope.

So you guys, the next one of your attacks

has plus 500 to its range.

and then you roll this d6
and add it to the damage.

- Cool.
- Nice.

- It doesn't have to go there.

- Amazing.
- Yeah, perfect.

A totem.

- It's gonna go back to the
top of the initiative order.

- We have a escape pod again
that's working if we wanted,

it can hold up to four people.

If we wanted to send four people,

if it gets really bad

and we need it to just like
have our ship keep going

and have them like attach to an asteroid

and hop asteroid to asteroid
until they get to the satellite?

- Yeah the Jib Jobbers
can go down with the ship

as is in their contract.

- I mean only four people
can go on the escape pod

and Plug demands a spot.

So only three people.
- No, Plug is busy with Bambi.

- [Lou] Yeah we can sneak out for awhile.

- Yeah Plug demands a spot for Bambi

because Plug plus one, so really
only two people can go in.

- [Brennan] So that's gonna
be 41 points of damage

to the Wurst.

I'm gonna need three dexterity
saving throws for the ship.

- The tigers slow us down,
I'm gonna reaction do a-

- The ship has advantage
on the saving throw.

- Give you advantage on
it against the first one.

I'll give you advantage on the first one.

- Oh yes.
- All right.

- Dexterity saving throw?
- Plus one.

- That's a 10.
- Watch out.

- So I add a d6?
- A d6.

- That's a power dice?
- Yes.

- Okay, I can reroll
power dive once a turn,

that was only a two
with resourceful tactics


- Yes.
- Yeah!

- You make the first save,
give me another saving throw.

- So this one's just flat?
- Oh no, I will do,

I can use a...
- You can do the reaction

from the flare thing too right?

- Are we doing this?
- I'll do that yeah.

- Yeah if you have a reaction.
- Yeah definitely.

I have have two reactions.

- How many flares do you have?

- [Lou] This is all of our flares.

- So 16 on the die.

- 17.
- 17.

- A 17 saves, yes absolutely.

- And so this last one?

- Can I use any of my
personal stuff on this?

I'm able to train my critical
analysis as a reaction.

- Yes, yes.

- Okay I'm giving you
also my critical analysis.

- Okay, cool.

- [Emily] I think you and
I need to just slump down-

- 17.
- Yes.

- You pass - three torpedoes.
- Yes, yes, yes.

- Blow up behind you,
you dodge all of them.

- Beautiful piloting.

- [Brennan] That's gonna
be the Warfare Whitneys.

Okay, incoming another 37 points of damage

from the Warfare Whitneys.

- I'm going to use cunning avoidance.

So once per round, I can make a dex check

and use that instead of
the value of your AC.

And then I'm gonna also
use dependable pilot

to take the maximum for a dex check.

- Amazing so one of the attacks misses,

you get back, so you don't take 14 damage.

- Okay and then the damage we do take,

I'm gonna use my reaction
to bump that back

with our Acme-Ashmun brand shields.

- Hell yes.
- That's a cool six damage.

- [Brennan] Warfare Whitney three

takes six points of damage.

As you guys are sustaining fire

these Acme-Ashmun shields have,

their energy's been reduced to them.

They are struggling - these
are the top of the line shields

in the galaxy, not to get all like,

what's that Star Trek
quote that Kirk says?

"The given circumstances of
this battle are unwinnable."

You should not be fighting this battle.

- Yeah.
- Cool.

- Yeah.
- Coming out of FTL

behind the Wurst.

A squadron of U4F ships appears.

- Yes!
- Okay, all right!

- Thank fucking god.
- Damn, Needles!

- You on the comms ship,

you see - first, the Lady Pike
appears in the lead on the ship.

Jan De La Vega smiles and says,

"Hey there, Maggie. How's it going?"

- Looking good.
- I am looking good.

- Now I got a question for you, sister,

'cause I made myself pretty clear.

Did you pay your union dues this Nargon?

- I certainly did.

- Your little U4F badge comes up.

- Gorgeous!

Jan, I have no time
for foreplay right now.

Let's get straight to it!

- Okay, the Lady Pike comes in after you.

You guys see another saucer come in

this like huge flying saucer.

Another comm station comes up.

You see from Baustin, New Texas,

you see Lamelia Lefarve,

hi there fellas, Chets say hi.

And you see some of the
Chesters waving on the ship.

- Love it.
- I love them.

Are they wearing their drug necklaces?

- Right well have to get it done.

Wearing their little necklaces of drugs,

that ship comes in.

You guys see a giant like clamping ship

coming in on the comm station
with a bristly mustache

you see, hey there friends,

this is captain Dan Scrap of the Bad Call.

- Dan Scrap, you son of a bitch,

- Dan Scrap, how are you

in the United Female Freedom Fighters?

- What's that? Oh shit.

And you see, he takes a big
blonde wig and puts it on.

This is Danielle Scrap of the Bad Call.

- He used to make me wear
it. It was a whole thing.

It was he's great, this
is great, this is great.

Honestly, it didn't look half bad.

- I bet you looked pretty good.

- He looks beautiful, I get it.

- I was gorgeous.

- And you see another ship coming in,

hot out of faster than light.

This huge awesome looking
winged bulbous ship

with the bunch of bright lights.

This is call sign the Heartbeat

Captain Galatia 9 coming in,

U4F, heard your distress
signal loud and clear, captain.

- Hello Heartbeat, who is this?

- You see, there is a space Amazon

with a big scar over one eye

with like blonde hair tied back
in these like twin ponytails

and a first mate of this like
incredible muscle bound woman

with a red and white
cap as her chief gunner

as the Heartbeat zooms in
out of faster than light.

- Incredible.

- Look at these incredibly funny ships.

- I think I know who that is.

- Yeah, I think its on
your face right now.

- Who would it be?
- Yeah.

- So having sent that
email, which oh baby,

was that important for you to do.

- Thank God.

- Jan looks up at you and says,

"All right, Encino, you sent the signal."

Raymond says, "I sent the signal."

Says, "What's the call,
sister? What you need?"

- What are we thinking, everybody?

- Create a distraction so we
can go into that asteroid field

draw 'em away from the asteroid field.

- Yeah I'll give them
the info on the U4F ship

that's looking pretty hurt.

- Cool.
- Can I do an insight check

to see if I, I would know anything

or I would know the right
questions to ask Skip?

Or like what happened with
that ship, why it's busted?

- Yeah you can ask Skip
to make a perception check

with advantage.
- Yeah.

18 plus 11.
- Yes!

- 29.
- You do a scan of that ship.

Margaret, you send that to him.

So there's still a lot more enemies to go.

The command ships are
all gonna fire again.

So you guys were looking at certain death

and boom your union,

we're union strong here in space, baby,

boom, zooms out of space.

And you see Jan says, "Let's open fire!"

And you see these U4F
ships peel out - boom,

and just open fire on all of
the fighter craft around you.

Lady Pike is gonna come
in alongside the Wurst

taking movement, but opening weapons fire.

The other U4F ships two to
the left are gonna break left

two to the right are gonna break right.

As we move forward, you
do that scan there right?

Doing the scan, you
interface with the ship

as you do on that 28,

you patch through and you can
see the enormous command ship

is crawling with people in
space suits all over it,

and as you patch into their command,

you see those people
start setting off bombs

on their own ship.
- Oh shit.

- The bombs are filled with paint.

Arcadia Prime shows up,

"Hello, captains of the Wurst, it is us,

the Guernican Art Squad!

Thought you could get rid of us?

This will be our most
glorious Magnum Opus.

And you see that paint goes
off all over their tigers

and command ship,

and the Guernican Art
Squad has commandeered

an Amercadian vessel.
- My god.

- Are they still coming after us?

Or they're just kind of
doing their own stuff.

- Just like being so random.

- That's U4F, that's gonna be Griivarr.

These Griivarr ships are still
coming in after the Wurst

half of them are gonna
fire on the Lady Pike,

but five are gonna keep
trained on the Wurst.

Trying to hit an armor class of 15.

That's one hit, it's two hits, three hits.

You take seven, 11 plus, you
take 20 points of damage.

- Can I use a snap roll?

So use a power die to mitigate the damage.

- Go for it, yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Six on the die, so 26.
- Nice, baby.

- Hell yeah, you got some shields left.

- Shields my friend.
- Okay.

Griivarr command ship is going to activate

its point defense system

is then gonna fire an assault
turbo laser twice on its turn.

It's rolling with disadvantage
'cause it's at long range,

but this is an incredibly powerful weapon.

- Is there anything?
- Yeah.

- That is a hit.

Second, that is a miss.

- I really think we need to try to

turn Griivarr against UFTP.

- Yeah definitely.
- Yeah.

- From a single strike
with that assault laser,

you take 22 points of damage.

- I did not use the,
everything I was using before

was not actually a reaction.

My only reaction I have is uncanny dodge,

which I can use to halve
the damage of an attack.

So could I use that for this
last attack that we just got?

- Hell yeah.
- Okay.

- Ball's rolling up.
- Ball is rolling up.

- [Brennan] Behind you
on the Repo-Reapers turn

the Lady Pike behind you takes two attacks

with its assault cannon

and blasts the nearest
Repo-Reaper out of the sky.

Repo-Reaper number four is no more.

Jan De La Vega says, "Needles,
you know what to do."

(laughs) Yeah Boss!

That Repo-Reaper vessel is gone.

The rest are going to turn in,

their tractor beam is within range.

I'm gonna need three strength
saving throws from the Wurst.

- And we can use,

well actually our strength is
better than our dex, right?

- That's correct.
- Here we go.

- Guaranteed nat 20.


Nat 20.

(all cheering)

- If you say it every time,
you're gonna be right sometimes.

- No way!

- Nat 20!

- Very specifically Murph has
said that and I rolled it.

- Incredible, roll the next two

with advantage on that nat 20.

- Guaranteed nat 20.
- Really good.

- 18 on the die plus six, so 24.

- Hell yes, gimme one last one.

- 21.
- Woo.

- All three Repo-Reapers
come in with tractor beams

trying to pull the ship in.

You hit the engine, and the
engines are super juiced,

you dodge outta the way of
the Repo-Reaper vessels.

- We got the juice.

- They are going to form a
triangle around the Wurst.

You still have shields though, right?

- Yeah.
- Two points.

They try to descend boarding
ladders onto the ship.

Bounce off of the
Acme-Ashmun Force shields,

they do not connect.
- Yes!

- [Brennan] Behind you
it is an absolute mess.

The Guernican Art Squad has
commandeered a number of tigers,

they are going to engage

with a couple of other ships behind you.

So you see Lamelia's
saucer and the Bad Call

engage with those Guernican
tigers behind you,

and now the command ships are gonna go.

So this is Gust Weatherall's flagship,

this is the UFTP command ship,

and this is Arcadia Prime's vessel.

- Is it their turn?
- It is their turn.

- [Siobhan] Oh God.

- We'll resolve these one at a time.

We're gonna go.
- This is so awful.

- Can I quickly message
him and say like, stop.

- Stop, please stop.
- Just a lowercase.

- Stop.
- Stop.

- Cut it out.
- Come on man.

- This is the bad one

'cause Gust Weatherall
just wants to blast you

out of the sky.

So he's gonna activate point defense.

- Oh my God.

- You're outside of bombardment range.

So its just gonna be two.
- Bombardment?

- All right can I use the final power die

to use a Colonian Turn to maneuver forward

out of this range if possible?

- Go ahead and roll that d6.

- Big six.
- Big six.

- Come on big six.
- Big six.

- Three, 150 feet?

- [Brennan] Let's go ahead and
move that 150 feet forward.

You can put yourself just on
the other side of that cloud

if you wanna give yourselves
three quarters cover

behind those Repo-Reapers.

- We can get cover
behind the Repo-Reapers.

- Okay so here's whats gonna-

- Against each other.

- So here's what's gonna happen now.

Gust Weatherall comes on the comms saying,

"You listen up here, Norm,

some secrets are better left buried."

- Like the fact that you killed

an entire squad of Amercadian soldiers.

- You're at like a seven
and we do want like a 10.

Just, this is a big
moment for your character.

- You are still within range,

but you get that cover, three
quarters cover behind them.

With that thing that you say,

go ahead and gimme persuasion.

- And this is just my persuasion, correct?

- Yeah.
- 12.

- Okay you go over the comms,

you see a look of some of
the officers on Gust's ship

looking around as you state that.

It's just words right now.

On your turn potentially,

so these are gonna be
attacks with disadvantage,

your AC bumps from 15 to now 21.

- Okay.

- I'm gonna roll these
attacks in front of the board.

- Well the first one's a nat one so.

- Yeah and the second one is a nat three.

- Just roll it. It's a nat one so.

- If it comes within
five of your armor class,

but still misses

I'm gonna say it hits one of
the Repo-Reapers around you.

Okay, here we go.

What you don't want is a 14
on the lower of these two.

- Oh, we're not gonna
get it it's a nat one.

Murph called it.
- It's a nat one.

- 19 and a five that's a full miss.

Here's the next one, another five.

Lasers shoot off into space, bam, bam,

on either side of you, that's going to be-

- Gust Weatherall, more
like Gust Miss-em-all,

am I right?

- Don't hurt my feelings.
- Please hold.

- Guernican command ship, here we go.

Okay I'm gonna need a
saving throw from the Wurst.

- What type?
- Oh, dexterity.

Just give me any saving
throw you feel like.

- Thank you so much.

Natural 20.

- You gotta be kidding me.
- Yes!

- And then it bumped.

- An enormous bombardment
of these makeshift,

what looks like glittering
spray paint bombs,

launch from the Guernican
Art Squad's ship.

You dodge out as these
huge plumes of paint

erupt into the void.

You continue to surge forward.

Last command ship that is going to go

is the United Free Trade
Planets' command ship

directly in front of you.

Number one, it creates
an 800 foot radius grid.

You see laser turrets erupt all over it.

These are point defense systems,

which means within 800 feet of
this thing in all directions,

it's going to get free attacks on you,

and it's creating difficult
terrain by doing so.

So it's gonna halve your
movement within that range.

That is one action.

- So essentially it's creating, like,

if we want to go through
that, we will get hit.

- We'll get shot and be slow.

- Okay so we have to drive around it.

- Can we shoot those things?

- Oh the things on the ship?

Potentially yeah, you could.

I would let you guys
choose to disrupt that

if you wanted to.

As that ship continues to move,

it has other actions it's going to do.

I am now going to need two
strength saving throws.

- Both nat 20s.
Good lord.

- 11.
- I have the heads up

that I haven't used.

So you would just add a superiority die,

which for me is a d6.

- Okay...


- Wait, make a big deal of it, 12!

- 12.
- 12!

- It's a meaty 12.
- That's actually pretty good.

It's a 12.
- Do I even do this other one?

- That won't be necessary.

You get hit by a UFTP tractor beam.

This is the command ship,

I mean, they set themselves up

right in between you and your target

and they lock you in

and they immediately
are gonna move the Wurst

a hundred feet towards them,

and then with their next action.

- Man.
- Okay, I don't hate it.

- They open fire.
- Pick a lane.

Either tractor beam us or
shoot us, don't do both.

- They deal 44 points of damage


(to the tune of "My Hero" by the Foo
Fighters) ♪ There goes our shields... ♪

to Repo-Reaper number two.

- Okay, okay.
- Not to us?

- No, they got people,
they got these scavengers,

coming in and taking their shit.

They're trying to get you guys.


(collective relieved sighing)

- He knew what he was doing.
- I knew what I was doing.

Hey, having a lot of enemies can work out

in your favor sometimes,

with that you are hit
with the tractor beam,

I'm going to need a
constitution saving throw

from Barry Syx.

- Whoa, whoa.
- Did you get slugged?

Did you secretly get slugged?

- He went into the zone.
- I'm in the zone,

but that doesn't do anything.

- Are you within range or
something of the other Barry

or something?
- Something's going on,

and I don't like it.
- Other Barry's on UFTP,

yeah that's true they
could be working together.

- He's on the Fang maybe.

- Maybe we're getting close to it.

- Too close to the-
- Come on...


- Murph, did you roll metal dice?

- No I didn't, I rolled
the dice that Ally gave me.

- I'm so sorry.

- Thank you for being a good friend.

- I'm so sorry I care about you.

- I rolled a two and I have
plus six so I got an eight.

- Okay.

- You can't make me roll saving throws.

- I'm so sorry, that is actually my fault.

46 plus 12.
- To Barry?

- 58 damage halved just to Barry Syx.

Barry in your gunner channel,

you hear (metal rolling)

and a stun grenade flies into
the gunner pit boom goes off.

You are stunned and Barry
Nyne crits twice on you.

- What?
- Yeah 'cause stun auto crits.

- But is Barry Nyne on our ship?

- Barry Nyne is on the Wurst.
- What the hell.

- You see he goes-
- Since when?

- Time to die, Barry.

You take that, but it is
halved as you are in the zone.

- Where did he come from, or
was he hiding in the walls?

And is he, where is he
wearing Loose Duke's clothes?

- Did Loose Duke let you in?

- Is he wearing Loose Duke's clothing?

Let me do a free object
interaction to look for Loose Duke?

- Okay so this is challenging,

you are in the middle of star ship combat.

You are now also in the
middle of tactical combat

aboard the Wurst as Barry
Nyne has just acted,

it goes to the ship's turn,

but I need perception
checks from everybody.

Regular perception checks.

- Nat 20.
- Okay Riva.

Don't worry about perception checks,

on a Nat 20 Riva you sense
violence occurring on the Wurst.

You know that Barry's been shot

and immediately everyone gets
a psychic impression of that,

but you have to choose

whether you're gonna use
your turn to deal with that

or deal with the star ship
battle you are engaged in.

- Great, perfect, beautiful,
couldn't be happier.

Do we have things though
that are particularly good

against situations of this sort.

- I bought some, but I'm stunned.

- Goddamn it.
- I bought something as well.

- We bought cryo cells to-
- Oh, for this guy.

I could handle this.

- You got it?
- I can handle this.

- Then maybe I should just keep flying.

- Yeah.
- Pilot, pilots gotta.

- I've got multiple.

- So here's what's gonna
happen at the moment right now,

which is we go, if you want
to go into mini's initiative,

if you're doing something on the ship,

Sid you would be first to act with the 22.

- Okay I've got multiple
options to try to do this.

I'm gonna have to roll crazy well,

if I wanna make this work.

Okay I think I'm going to,
I think with Aurora Nebbins,

if I cast motivator boost on her

that means her speed is
doubled which would also

would that also mean
that her bonus action?

- Is also doubled.

- Okay, is 90 feet of movement

enough to get me to his gunning thing.

- Yeah that's right so yes, absolutely.

The ship 'cause I'm
looking at the dimensions

in space right now, absolutely.

Your gunner ports are not,

are just on other sides of the ship.

- So I don't even need to
cast motivator boost then

I can just use Aurora
Nebbins to get there.

- Yes Aurora sees trouble and
goes ah, and lunges forward.

You're riding this
beautiful royal blue mastiff

to the other gunner pod.

- I have my cryo cell loaded up,

I'm going to with my action
attack twice Barry Nyne.

- Barry Nyne, amazing.
- Slug Barry.

- You see him in the shadows,

just unloading on a stunned Barry Syx,

go ahead and make your attacks.

- First one, advantage does a 19 hit?

- A 19 hits.
- Okay.

We have to keep track of this cold damage.

- Cool.

- So that's seven cold damage

and then he needs to do a-

- DC 14 con save.
- DC oh,

except I have my explosives
master style, so-

- DC 16.
- DC 16 con save.

- He rolls a two on the die.

- Okay so then that's
another two cold damage.

So we're up to 11 cold damage.

- And he's slowed until
the end of the next turn.

- Great.
- I take my second attack.

Does a 14 hit?
- 14 does not hit.

- Targeted strike.
- Okay cool.

- So add a, we'll do a d6

and then this will add to the damage too.

- Okay.
- Amazing.

- Four.
- Okay, so does a 18 hit?

- 18 does hit.
- Okay.

So then that's another-
- Incredible.

- Then that's another 14 cold damage.

- So 26.
- So we're over 25.

- 26 yeah.
- Amazing.

- So we're trying to suss out

we're trying to get the slug out of there.

- Amazing.
- With this cold damage,

you do 26 cold damage to him.

So what is the exact
wording for Cerebro Slugs?

- For a body thief if the host body

takes 20 points of cold
damage in a single round,

the Cerebro Slug must
make a DC 15 con save

using its own constitution score.

Not Barry's constitution.
- Important.

- Very important.
- Very, very important.

- On a failure the Cerebro
Slug leaves the body

slithering out to a space
within five feet of the host.

- Put a bowl over it.

- Oh, I'm gonna fucking stomp on it

with my fucking roller feet.
- After exiting the host,

it is paralyzed until the
start of its next turn.

- Which I still-
- Everyone remember

I'm incapacitated so please
do not let this thing slug me.

- No, it's not going to.
- Just please.

- That would be so bad.
- Let's all remember

where we are on the board.
- Who's the real Barry?

I'm the real Barry, he's
the real Barry, yeah.

- I've got the ponytail.
- Syx and Nyne are upside down

we're the same thing!
- All right,

you blast Barry Nyne with cold damage.

Give me a perception check.

- 19 on the dice is gonna become 22.

- Okay you've used your
actions, two attacks,

in a blast of cold
Barry Nyne stumbles back

clutching at his face.

He's very much in the zone right now.

You do not see the slug

leave from the thing.

That could be there's
a lot of explanations

for why that could be.

- Maybe because he's in the zone?

- Is it because he's in the zone,

in that case I'm just gonna
throw two stun grenades at him.

Actually wait, what do we
think that Barry sucks at?

What do we think Barry sucks at?

- Oh man he sucks at-
- Intelligence

- Zero wisdom, zero intelligence.

- Then I'm gonna throw a panic
grenade for the first one.

So a DC 16 wisdom save or be frightened

and take more damage.

- He fails.
- Okay so he is frightened

and he takes six psychic damage.

- Copy that.
- And then fuck it.

I'm also just gonna do more damage.

- Hell yeah go for it.

- I'll just throw another
generic grenade at him.

- Hell yeah.

- I'm just gonna throw a plasma grenade.

- Massive explosions going on.
- Aren't you guys like

in a little hallway?

- How much damage does a grenade do?

'cause I might want to just get
hit by this just to wake up.

- Oh, it'll wake you
up if you take damage?

- Right? 'Cause I'll be
stunned, 'cause right?

I need someone with an
action to slap me awake.

- Yeah he's fully
unconscious so a little bit-

- If you hit me with a grenade.

- [Brennan] You can hit
them both with a grenade.

- I'm gonna try and hit
them both with a grenade.

- As long as it's not one of the bad ones

just fucking hit me.

- Okay then I'll do
one of my lighter ones.

I'll do an ion grenade.
- Cool.

- And if he has anything
electronic on him,

it'll turn off and need to be rebooted.

- Copy that great, and
that's a dex save right?

- Dex save yeah 16.

- He rolls with advantage
'cause he's in the zone,

but he still fails.
- Okay.

So just another nine damage
and you'll take nine damage,

but then you'll wake up, right?

- You take nine damage.
- Okay.

- [Brennan] You've dealt 41
points of damage with grenades.

The ship takes four hull points of damage.

- [Emily] Okay I get on
the comms and I'm like,

I had to do it, Barry's in trouble.

- It's okay!
- Its gonna be okay.

- I'm not unconscious anymore,
but I'm still stunned.

I'm emotionally stunned.
- Yeah.

- It's okay, we're gonna
get this thing out.

- Father.

- Incredible, Barry you're up.

We're gonna keep moving
through mini's initiative

that's Sid and Aurora.

We can, is anyone else interested in,

wanna jump into minis or
do we want to resolve ship?

- I might wanna jump into minis.

Let me put it past the group,

I can potentially I'm thinking,

phase walk into the Amercadian ship

and then do some shenanigans from there,

but I would have to do it next turn

because phase walk is a spell.

- I mean definitely that over damage.

I don't think we're trying
to do damage right now.

- Okay, great I will do that.

I will phase walk into the
water system of the UFTP ship.

- That's so crazy.

- You can exert fine control on objects

with your telekinetic grip,

such as manipulating a small tall opening,

a door, or container, stowing
or retrieving an item.

So I'll just, if you're
okay with me doing that,

I'll just use that.
- So you're using the,

you're using the psychic
points to do that quickened.

- Actually I don't need to

'cause phase walk is a bonus action.

- Incredible, amazing so
Riva you are in your bulb.

Things are looking as bad
as they've ever looked,

half the galaxy is here to destroy you.

You reach out psychically
feel all of the minds

aboard that UFTP command
ship, behind you Skip,

you see Riva glow with
astral light and disappear,

and you see a kind of telescoping
trail of images of Riva

shoot through the void
towards the UFTP ship.

They even fire some lasers
at this like phasing image,

and you are in a giant tank of water,

looking at a very confused
cafeteria of UFTP employees

aboard this command ship.

- Great, I immediately used my movement

to swim somewhere between decks

so that none of them can see me.

- You disappear between decks.

Go ahead it's gonna be a straight roll.

I'm gonna say 'cause
all you're trying to do

is mess up the tractor beam.
- Yeah.

- Which a lot of things
should be able to do,

you're just trying to
reach out psychically

and jam whatever board
they're doing that with

because you have walked aboard,

I'm gonna say that you do
this roll with advantage,

but it's going to be effectively
like a technology check.

We're just calling it a DC,
I'm gonna call it DC 12.

- Okay I have a minus one to technology,

but I have advantage so that's okay.

I don't make it.
- Cool.

You reach out try to jam the ship.

You can hear shouts and
screaming of the minds.

You're doing something to
the command deck of the ship,

but you are aboard their ship.

- Okay.
- Barry, I assume-

- I'm stunned until the end of my turn.

- There you go.
- So my stun will clear.

- Okay yeah.
- So Margaret, Skip, Gunnie,

I assume you guys are
doing ship related things?

- I'm doing ship related things, yes.

- Okay you guys can confer together

about what it is you wanna do.

- I mean like I can't really
fly at this, right, or?

- You can use an action to
reroll the saving throw.

- To get out of the tractor beam?

- We're like slippery,
I bet there's something.

- [Brennan] To try to get
out of the saving throw,

yeah absolutely.

- We, so we get one shield,
hull, one reactor die back.

- Yes and also you get a
shield die back as well,

'cause your shields are still up correct?

- I'd say it's halved, but we get it.

- Okay.
- So I rolled a four.

So now it's a two.
- It's two.

- [Brennan] You get
two shield points back.

- [Lou] But now that's over
and so we're back to normal.

- Cool I think I'm down
with the Jib Jobbers

and I would love to like knock
out some things on my list.

- Hell yes.

- [Ally] If that's cool with you guys?

- Should we put Gnosis in the ship?

- Yeah maybe we could
use Gnosis to shut down-

- To like power our shields or something?

- Totally.
- Thanks.

- Gnosis is really strong.
- We're pretty desperate.

Yeah I'd love to shove
Gnosis in to their spot.

- Let me know what we're doing,

so in the reactor core, you've?

- Is it a full action to push Gnosis in?

- I'll say it's object interaction.

- Oh thank god.

Yes I'd like to use my object
interaction to jack in Gnosis.

- The holofract spins, Gnosis,
Gunnie are we almost there?

- Yeah, it's not looking great.

- Oh, we're in a tremendous
amount of trouble.

- Yep is anything you can do to help.

- I can try and you see Gnosis
it looks at you and says,

"It looks like you're trying
to, can I help with blank?"

- Great I can I ask Gnosis
to regenerate shields?

- Gnosis is going to attempt
to regenerate shields.

I'm going to need,
here's what I'm gonna do.

Gnosis is gonna do this,
but Gnosis is too powerful.

- Love it.

- So I'm gonna need a
regulation check from you.

- Happy to do it.

- Regulation check from
the ship all you wanna do

is you want to beat a 10 here.
- Okay.

- The more you beat a
10 by the better it is.

- Great do I add anything to this?

- It's a regulation check so whatever-

- Plus three?
- Plus three.

- A flat ten.
- Okay, okay.

- Okay!
- I'll take it, I'll take it.

- Okay I'm gonna roll as
many d8s as you want me to.

- Okay.
- That's how many

shield points that
you're gonna regenerate.

I'm gonna take half that number

and you're gonna take
that much hull damage.

- 14, 14 feel safe?
- I was gonna say 12.

14 sounds-
- 12 sounds good.

- Sweet 16.
- I love sweet 16.

- 10, 10, 10.
- 10?

- A nice even number.
- We'll do, we'll do a-

- What about a dirty 20?

- We'll do a 12, we'll do a safe 12.

- A safe 12, great.
- Go off Gnosis.

- It's all eights.

- You don't wanna jack
into the experience?

- I gonna jack it.

- You jack into the experience, great.

So Gunnie you, it's not enough time.

You're doing an object interaction,

so you don't close the reactor.

You just jam Gnosis in,

your cybernetic arms connect with Gnosis,

you regenerate

that is 5, 7, 12,

13, 14, 22,



48 shield points regained,

24 points of hull damage.

Gunnie, you have Acme-Ashmun
brand stuff correct?

Of course I do.
- What did I say, 48?

- Oh my God.
- Gunnie,

you gain 48 shield points
on your person as you,

Gunnie, Gnosis goes, what are
you doing this isn't safe.

- It, hey, we have to do this.

- You feel your brain
as just ones and zeros

fly past your mind.

A shield generator forms in
somewhere in your bowels.

I think you, you form a
second mechanical heart

in your torso.

Just your blood is past
boiling temperature,

your blood becomes a gas.

You see the past and
future extend beyond you,

all of the multiverse unfolds
in a moment of pure communion

with the extent of Mother Void

and the vast galaxy around you,

and you have the rest of your turn left.

- Does anyone have any cigarettes?

- So for everyone else
around you by the way,

you see the Acme-Ashmun
shields come back online,

you see the protective force
shield surrounding you.

Also rivets come flying
out of your ship, red hot,

ping, ping, bang, steam bursts out.

- Oh, can I have one?

I wanted to do one more
thing with Handy Annie.

- Yeah, what's up?

- I wanted to just send a message to Auma

and be like, hey mom, you
put all my friends in danger,

but I know you're fricking rolling in it,

so if you wanted to spend
all that dirty money you got

in a good way, send
Vercadian Protector Droids.

Specifically hot ones
'cause I kinda have a thing.

- Give me a persuasion with advantage.

- 17 on the dice I think just becomes 18.

- Cool we're gonna resolve
that at the end of the round.

- So we only get one
power die back a turn.

- We only get one power die back a turn.

I can either bring, give us hull points

or give us more reactor die.

- Yeah let's resolve the
rest of the ship's turn

'cause we still have
all of Margaret to go.

- I think having more
die feels valuable here

'cause like we're making
a B-line for the fan.

- Yeah we gotta just keep going.

We're never gonna take more damage

than we are right now.
- Yeah.

- 'Cause we're in the mix.

- I'm gonna boost, I'll boost the reactor.

- Hell yeah.
(Lou laughs)

- That's...we're gonna really juice it.

- Okay, all right.

- So I rolled an eight on the dice that's,

so we're gonna but we can
only go up to four and then-

- So you get four power dice back.

- It says for any power
dice produced in excess,

your ship takes that many
hull points of damage

so it'll take five hull points of damage

and then we'll make a
regulation check DC 18,

which we fail.

- Before we move forward

is there any stuff you
add to saving throws

or stuff like that, that could?

- Oh I can add defiant to that.

- Can you do thing to your thing to it?

- [Brennan] What did
you roll on that save?

- That was a 16.
- Copy that, you need an 18.

So you just need a two, three, or four.

- I didn't get it.
- Really? Okay

then I'll if this is a saving throw,

I can use my reaction to
give you critical analysis,

so that's plus five.

- Okay, plus five.
- Great.

- You make the save,
this ship is running hot.

Skip, on the pilot's
control, all these dials

of internals of ship are just
like clicking and breaking.

Any other actions or things

coming outta the mechanics room right now?

- No that's everything going down.

- [Brennan] Cool, right here.

- Okay so I'm going to
use an action I guess, to-

- Try to break out of this, yeah.

- 15 on the die plus 6, 21.

- You break outta the tractor beam.

Now you're still you're in
its point defense system,

so it's difficult to terrain everywhere

and you're gonna have to be
making dex saving throws.

- Okay, I'm gonna use
my full movement forward

it's just 300 feet right now, I believe

unless someone boosts the engines

or boosts the-
- Yeah it's 300.

- Okay so 300, and then my
bonus action slippery pilot

to move an extra 300, so 600 feet forward.

- Okay the Wurst is gonna
move 600 feet forward.

It has an 800 foot range on
its point defense system,

so as you enter give me
a dexterity saving throw.

- All right, that's gonna be...


- Jumping behind you,

Zortch is gonna give
you the direct action.

Zortch leaps to the bridge of
the ship and says I gotcha.

- All right, let's do this one...

17 on the die, 18.

- Yes.
- Yeah!

- You weave in and out of lasers,

flying forward as fast as you can,

you enter difficult
terrain now your movement

is gonna be halved again, Margaret.

- Thank God, okay I would like to try

this encouraging speech to
all the Jib Jobbers once again

to get more people helping.
- Hell yes.

Go ahead give me a persuasion check.

What is the offer for the
amount of time, free time,

on the ship you are
giving to the Jib Jobbers?

- One year of free Jib Job.

- A galactic, you're
offering two galactic cycles,

two standard cycles.
- Two cycles.

- The Jib Jobbers look up,

roll this persuasion with advantage.

- Incredible, okay we're
gonna use this one.

Okay that is a 17.

- Plus 11 is 28.
- No, no, no.

- I'm sorry.
- No, just total 17.

- Total 17.
- Total 17.

- Oh boy.
- Okay.

- Plus, well plus 10 yeah.

- All right so you see astoundingly, a 17,

of the 13 Jib Jobbers, seven go

wow two free cycles that's nice,

and another six go, I'm good.

- Okay, that's okay, that's
okay we're gaining numbers.

So now I have what?
- Yeah you already had?

- Four I think.
- Four, right?

Okay so with another six that's 10.

You have 10, oh so three of
them look pretty obstinate,

three are not gonna come on board.

- That's okay you know what,

keep writing your romance novels.

- I mean, apparently
they're doing pretty well

if they can refuse that.

- Okay so this is my
little situation room.

I'm like, okay, everybody,
we gotta break up.

I take two of the Jib Jobbers and I say,

"you need to go and slap Barry Nyne,

slap Barry Syx in the face
right now, run down the hall."

- Oh, he's already, he's already awake.

- You're already awake.
- Yeah.

- Oh from the damage!
- Oh, I do have

the stuff we bought off
Plug before the session,

I bought two med packs.

If someone wants to hit me with a med pack

that would be awesome.

- Two, because I got the thing from Riva

that he's in trouble,

so two people run down there.

I want Raymond Zam to
reach out to Acme-Ashmun,

Dora Valentine there,

and say we are very publicly
getting completely run down

with all of our like Acme-Ashmun gear,

and this is a PR nightmare.

We heard that the news
is gonna be here shortly.

I have two Jib Jobbers contacting

Jimmy the Snout at Rootersnoos
about this entire thing

and saying that they might
wanna send some camera people

to what's going on here at Rubian V.

And then I personally would
like to go through and edit

and find the exact moment
in that Handy Annie footage

of Lucienne saying, we're
gonna have more money than God,

and then we're just gonna
buy out the Griivarr worlds.

We're just gonna buy out this thing

saying like exact numbers
and their whole plan,

and I would like to send that in a message

to the Griivarr like ship,

I just want that to start
playing on their ship for them.

- Incredible okay, you
have a ton of actions here.

So you are going to send Lucienne

talking about the-
- UFTP plan.

- The UFTP Frangus, house
of Frangus contract.

Go ahead, you have two
Jib Jobbers on that?

- No, that's me personally.

- Oh, that's you personally,

go ahead give me a
persuasion with advantage.

- Okay, okay.

That is a 17 again.

- 17 again, copy that,

any other stuff you want do on top of that

or that's it?

- Oh, I can like train
as a bonus action my own,

I'm gonna put my thing on
myself, my critical analysis.

- And is that a plus five to your roll?

- Yes, so that's a 23.

- Boom, there's like little
soft, very, you know,

elegantly designed kind of modern couches.

There's coffee people are coming out-

- Yeah I made a matcha
fountain where people can just

dip their cups.
- So a miniature war room

of personal assistants for you opens up,

and there's just this
little email hub of like,

hi, I am a screenwriter
momentarily working

as a personal assistant from
Margaret Encino of the Wurst,

we in active combat,

just like this little
campaign office opens up.

- Yes.
- Uncle Bob.

Hey there kiddo, it's Uncle
Bob from the Griivarr worlds.

I see you're trying to
contact the Griivarr ships,

are you ready to surrender

that piece of Griivarr
technology over to us?

- Look, I'm ready to surrender
this piece of information,

and I send the video to them and say,

you may have your sights trained

on the wrong enemy number
one, and I send it to them.

- Now, Uncle Bob's been dead for a minute

so this artificial intelligence

running the spirit of Uncle
Bob instantly downloads that

and goes, it's a real pal
who helps a friend out

with secrets that were
being kept from them.

Gang, we're gonna train our guns
on United Free Trade Planets,

and you see the entire Griivarr faction,

the command ship wheels its main guns.

- Fuck yeah.
- Tide is turning.

Or as we like to say here,
the ball is rolling up.

Incredible, that's one action.

- Holo-recorder Handy Annie.

- Yeah thank you Handy
Annie. Great thought.

- Secret MVP of this is Handy
Annie with a fucking GoPro.

- Speaking of Handy Annie,

Auma Liu appears on a
screen in front of you

as you are fighting Barry Nyne.

- Mom, hey.
- Hi I'm bad, I'm bad.

- I understand, I understand
why you did what you did and-

- You don't, you don't
understand why I did what I did.

- I know I don't. I'm sorry.

- It's okay.
- I'm sorry.

Are you mad at me that I don't understand?

Are you mad at me that I'm mad at you?

- No listen,

I need you to send your
schematics to me right now.

I only have the trademark.

I don't have your journal schematics.

- I have them downloaded,
SQ send my schematics back.

- All hail the glorious
Gnosis, the world God computer,

sending files.
- SQ by the way,

I know we both enjoyed a
little romp with Gnosis,

but you've gotta try a
Vercadian protector droid.

- Woo, do tell.

And you see sends this file
over, Auma gets it, sent,

and you see something on her end happens.

You watch all of the Warfare
Whitneys behind you deactivate.

She says, I bought, look,
I leveraged the position,

and then I sent some stuff about you

with the, see because Handy Annie had you,

so I released that footage of you

in order to depreciate
Handy Annie's market value.

I bought Handy Annie outright,
I bought the whole company.

I sent something to file an
injunction so there's a lawsuit,

they have to shut down
all the Warfare Whitneys

for trademark infringement

and copyright infringement
with your schematics,

I was waiting to send it until
I could get your schematics.

I bought Handy Annie and I filed this suit

because we're gonna make
the rest of your line.

- Okay, I'm also gonna collect

all these Warfare Whitney bodies

and maybe we could make 'em
into something cool too,

'cause they're actually
really quite powerful

now that they're deactivated

I can say I was scared shitless.

- You got it, you got it. I understand.

There were a lot of
fast moves getting made

and I got your message too,

warping out of faster than light

two squadrons of
Vercadian protector droids

appear outside.

You see out of the window

as you're still here fighting Barry Nyne,

outside of your window
floating 12 feet tall in space

you see Veep 909.

- You do a good job out there,
I'm gonna dip you later.

- I'd like to see you try.

- Shout out to the 909.

- Incredible.
- Jib Jobber, med pack me.

- Yeah, you can see slow
motion running down the hall,

there's one graphic designer

and a DJ from the Jib Job space.

- Fedora flies off.
- Fedora flies off,

you see both of them skid under one of

the most dangerous clone
troopers in the galaxy

and double med pack you,
roll your own hit points.

- Shit.
- God.

- Cool.
- Oh, we had,

I mean, you know it was me,

Raymond Zam and then all the Jib Jobbers.

If I can squeeze one more
thing in and have Jib Jobbers

create a Smash 'n Grab to
shoot down the Repo-Reapers.

I would love to do that.

- Oh, sorry, you reached
out to Dora Valentine,

we didn't cover that yet, right?

Okay Dora Valentine emails you back

and says our legal department

has been moving incredibly slowly

on closing out Gunnie's contract.

I'm giving you the login
right now to our legal staff,

please don't tell anyone I did this.

- Thank god, okay no I do that instead,

yeah I absolutely like
absolve Gunnie's debt

and figure that out.

- All right, I am gonna need from you,

it's a DC 20 finance roll.
- Finance I got.

- We're gonna bring out the Box of Doom.

- Oh my God.
- Plus 11?

- [Siobhan] The biggest
roll of the century.

- So it's plus 11?

- Plus 11, you just need a nine or higher

in the Box of Doom.

(all cheering)

Margaret in the middle
of combat you log in,

Dora Valentine, Gunnie's old
mentor, sends you the login,

you see this incredible email chain

that's like 80 emails deep,

you instantly process all
of it jump into a PDF,

red line, da da da da, have your matcha,

make the perfect final offer,

your email is filled with all of it.

Circle back, put a pin
in this da, da, da, da,

you send it through.

On a DC 20 finance check -
Gunnie, in the reactor room

on your comms a message appears...

"Paid In Full"

- Gunnie just grabs a quick pen,

just a, like a, like a dry erase marker.

I can do whatever the fuck I want.

- Your cybernetic organs,
your limbs, your prostheses,

this top of the line cyborg body

is yours and yours alone, forever.

- I send you a link to tattoo ideas.

- Oh we're gonna get
matching ones for sure.

- From those three remaining
Repo-Reaper ships you hear,

"God dammit, all right pack it in boys."

They all jump to FTL to get
out of this clusterfuck.

Repo-Reaper faction defeated.

- [Siobhan] Thank goodness.

- They do have really cool ships though,

could they do they leave one for us?

- Margaret, I think that's all the actions

you're gonna get on your turn.

That's a pretty incredible-

- You mean this to do list

that we absolutely
knocked out in this turn.

- The most powerful to do
list in the entire world.

- Now you can enjoy the rest of your day.

- Yeah now I can just sit by
the matcha fountain and relax.

- Yeah do you have me time on there?

- No, I put on some baroque.

- Just a super proud tradition
of emailing during combat

and having it be incredibly effective.

Amazing, however there
are still many factions

barreling down on top of you.

I wanted to make sure
that I got everything.

We did Auma, you're aboard
the UFTP command ship.

- The news was called.
- Oh we didn't,

yeah you had other people doing that.

Go ahead and give me a persuasion check.

Just a straight persuasion check.

We'll call it DC 20
persuasion for the news stuff.

- Oh yeah 25.
- Oh yes.

- You see on a private comms just to you,

Jimmy the Snout appears in front of you.

This is Jimmy the Snout,
Rootersnoos Ferret,

coming to you live in
a personal communique,

just me and you, this
is how I talk to people

even interpersonally.

- Oh, that's actually kind of cool.

You look, I got a scoop for you, okay?

And then I, oh, I sell
all the juicy details.

- You sell it?
- I tell all.

- You tell Weatherall.
- I tell Weatherall.

I talk about the stolen patent

from of the Warfare Whitneys, I just dish.

- Coming in hot.
- All my stuff's done, I dish.

- You see a ton of vessels behind

Gust Weatherall's command ship

that all just say Rec Station News,

come out faster than light.

- I take a fucking indica
gummy and I just, I just vent.

I say, you know what, what else?

I think Sid had sex with a
Vercadian Protector droid.

- Not yet, but I have
every intention of it.

- Amazing.
- Lucienne's so funny.

- Okay this is what she gave me.

- Incredible turn, things
are still looking dire,

but there is hope left.

So Barry you at the end of your turn,

come out of the stunned condition.

Give me a perception check with advantage,

and I'm gonna let,
you're gonna do this too.

Go ahead and give me a...

- 21.
- 18.

- 18, both of you look up,

Barry stumbles backward
you're looking for the slug

you did 20 points of cold damage.

- He is frightened too.

- He's frightened oh,
you see Barry screaming.

You see Barry Nyne going,

"What did you do you killed
them all, you killed them all!"

- Barry?

- Tucked into his belt is a plastic bag.

- Is that where the slug went?

- Ripped, like it was torn off of someone.

- The Princeps.

- Oh, you're telling me the
plastic bag didn't work?

- Are you rolling for how
many kisses he's gonna do?

- Two attacks.
- The Princeps isn't there.

- Is the escape pod still there?

Would we have been notified?
- It's Plug's shop.

- It's Plug's.

- Skip, you take first 28,
and then 35 points of damage.

- What?
- Damn.

- As you are piloting the ship

you feel a crystal dagger
pulled from your belt

and reaching around you

plunged into your stomach and pulled,

as Zortch whispers into your ear,

"Time to come home my son."

- So on the 35, I'm going to uncanny dodge

and that's the only reason I'm alive.

- I want you to come home, son.

Zortch puts a hand to their ear,

but of course we know this
is not Zortch and says,

"United Free Trade Planets,
I'm about to bring the Wurst

aboard the command ship
and hits the control panel

and the doors to the bridge,

and that is gonna be all for
this episode of Dimension 20,

tune in next week for
the thrilling finale,

Prilbus versus Valdrinor,
Skip versus Zortch.

- Prilbus!
- Valdrinor!

- There's no one at the helm of the ship?

- Correct, yes.

- What is the nature of micro FTL jumps?

- Yeah what's their nature?

- What's the nature of that?

- What is the nature of it?
- What is the nature?

- You wanna take a big risk?
- Yes.

- Do you know who you're talking to?

- Have you played an entire
season with this motherfucker.

- Make up some insane rigamarole

so I can say yes to it, please.

- For every equation that you
come short making that jump,

it's gonna be one d20 damage to the hull.

- But could be a walk.
- To the hull?

No, no, no, no, no, come on.

- Gunnie I've always believed in you.

- We're doing this.
- Great.

- Oh my God, what the fuck.

I'm gonna cry.

- This is where I'm meant to
be and what I'm meant to do.