Dimension 20 (2018-…): Season 13, Episode 13 - Battle of the Brands - full transcript
The Gunner Channel must compete in a battle royale against the galaxy's deadliest brand warriors.
(upbeat music)
- Hello, one and all!
Welcome back to another thrilling
episode of Dimension 20:
A Starstruck Odyssey.
I'm your humble dungeon
master, Brennan Lee Mulligan,
with me as always are our intrepid heroes!
Say hi, intrepid heroes.
- Hi, intrepid heroes.
- What's up?
- Everyone dressed up.
- I don't know what you're talking about.
I've been looking like this-
- These are my real clothes.
- For the past couple weeks.
- [Brennan] The important thing
is everyone's wearing their normal clothes
and that we return to
find our intrepid heroes-
- It's normal.
- [Brennan] It's normal.
- This is super normal, everybody.
- This is who I am.
- It is fight night here at the Kubla-Cola
Gladiatorial Arena in Mas Vegas, Lavada,
and the brand new champions for
the Acme-Ashmun Corporation.
Last we left off,
the Wurst was hanging in
space in the neutral zone,
having just fled from the Griivarr Worlds.
(group laughing)
You awakened the planetary
supercomputer's holofract,
Gnosis, reuniting it with its origin
in a piece of Terran hardware
and having it speak to you
about what it should do
in a galaxy full of people
that want to take advantage of it.
After speaking with the Princeps Zortch
and The Gunner Channel,
Gnosis arrived at some kind of plan
to perhaps save the people of Rubian V
from the ravages of
United Free Trade Planets,
maybe do something about
other galactic problems,
who knows, debt super computing,
and find a way of dispersing itself,
because Gnosis acknowledged
that as long as it exists,
people will seek after it.
All of you use the time
before Gnosis was developing
some sort of scheme,
which is theoretically still developing
here on the last Malton unit
of that four Malton unit period of time.
You contacted Auma Liu
on the planet Onolo Dos,
where she told you that
she still had the trademark
for Sundry Sidney.
You reached out to U4F and
talked to your union rep,
Ife Amari-Reyes,
who said that she'd be happy to process
your union membership
as long as you also agreed
to become a facilities den
for a group of Galactic Girl Guides.
You discovered that Jan De La Vega
is a fellow union member-
- Woo!
- In the Federation.
Oh, you reached out, and then
of course, to Dora Valentine,
your former professor,
who now works at the
Acme-Ashmun Corporation
and who processed your sponsorship,
saying, if you can,
there is a 1.2 billion credit fight purse
at The Battle of the Brands.
- Transfer it to our account now.
- [Lou] Yeah.
(group laughing)
- I'm gonna level with you,
audience watching at home.
I have never been less certain
of a PC victory in my life
as we head to The Battle of the Brands.
But the good news is even if we don't win,
you still get a 10.000
credit signing bonus each
as well as brand new
Acme-Ashmun force shields
as long as you survive the fight.
- Quick question on the paperwork.
- [Brennan] Yes.
- If Gunnie gets super injured
and his parts get trashed,
are they replaced by
Acme-Ashmun after this fight?
- Gimme a finance check real quick.
- Margaret would've made
an airtight contract.
- I would've made an airtight contract.
- Let's find out how airtight.
- As tight as my ponytail right now.
- Murph's eyebrow's are
almost into his hairline.
- [Ally] Do you wanna know that number?
- [Brennan] Yeah, what's that number?
- 28.
- [Brennan] 28?
- Let him know that number.
Let him know that number!
- Incredible, incredible.
Yes, at this point,
should you need,
much like they're supplying
you force shields,
they are not replacing your parts,
but should you need replacements,
they will be providing them
as part of the sponsorship.
However, I will point out
there are some pretty hefty
brand stipulations in here.
Number one, you need to have
a big, ol' Acme-Ashmun logo
on the side of your spaceship,
which is not unusual,
because you are gonna
have the shields out there
on the side of the ship.
- [Lou] Yeah.
- But you also need to comport yourselves
as brand ambassadors for Acme-Ashmun.
Now the, so-
- There was a lifestyle contract in there?
(group laughing)
- [Brennan] Now, the lifestyle-
- Yeah, what exactly?
- Now the lifestyle contract
is not what it would be
if you were working in the
children's entertainment division
at Griivarr Enterprises.
Acme-Ashmun is a military company.
They make like cybernetics
and like force shield technology,
so it's not about looking wholesome.
It's about looking competent.
- [Emily] Right.
- You need to comport
yourself in such a way
that you make the brand look good.
- Is there a clause on drugs?
- Yeah, can we do drugs?
- Give me one more finance check.
- I mean, the answer's yeah, right?
Everyone in World War II was like on meth.
Nat 20.
(group laughing)
- You are required to do
a certain amount of drugs.
(group applauding)
- Yes!
- Yes!
- Drugs!
- Drugs!
- There is no loser in this equation.
- Exactly.
- No, not us, not our bodies.
- Nobody loses.
- Nobody loses,
they get people, they
get quick-working cogs,
- It's a win-win.
- You actually see that basically,
within your contract it becomes clear,
Acme-Ashmun's former-
the android that it had going
to the Battle of the Brands,
and also its former sponsorship was
in a very outmoded cycle of AnarchEra
where they were trying to
pursue big faction contracts.
And basically they are
pivoting their strategy
to appeal to the
ever-widening Proldier market.
That's where they feel the
real money can be made.
- [Group] Oh.
- As sort of moving from private
contracts into retail, so-
- I mean, we are the Proldiers.
We're the cover babies.
- [Siobhan] The gig economy.
Mercenary life.
- There you go, exactly.
- Do we know who that
android was that got broken?
What was the model?
- That would've been Wiley
Wes, the Acme-Ashmun android.
- Thank you.
- [Brennan] So-
- What's the fate of Wiley Wes?
- Wiley Wes was badly injured
and has been taken outta commission.
- Oh, wow.
- Full, the line is totally gone?
- Wiley is the name given
to this particular
Vercadian protector droid.
- Oh, it is.
I thought it would be a
Vercadian protector droid.
- But there was only one of
them and there's six of us.
And so, you know.
- The Wurst hovers down.
You can signaled on your comms.
You can see you are actually
in a comms deadening bubble,
sort of like a sort of
globe of invulnerability
where it's blocking other things.
And you get hailed
from one of your security
officers coming in.
(intercom beeping)
Uh, hi, this is Ross.
I'm one of the pilots here
for your Acme-Ashmun security detail,
letting you know that we're aware
that there are certain factional elements
in pursuit of you.
So we've gone ahead and
done you the courtesy
of killing your comms
and sort of deadening
your call sign on arrival.
I wanted to talk to you real quick.
I got a message from Dora Valentine.
In terms of your exit strategy,
because our understanding is
that you are highly wanted
by a number of powerful factions
and that this fight will be airing live
across various rec station channels.
- Yeah.
Ross, was it?
- Yeah.
- Okay, great.
Yeah, we were hoping that
maybe you could fabricate
a hot dog ship that looks much like ours
and send it the opposite direction.
- Okay.
- Of where we need to
go at the end of this.
- [Brennan] Copy that.
- That will blow up.
(group laughing)
That will blow up 20 minutes away.
- Maybe sort of like a
blimp filled with grenades.
- Mm-hmm.
Grenade... blimp.
- If you can do that, Ross.
- [Brennan] Got it, yeah, absolutely.
- Great.
I send you like the dimensions
of our ship or something,
like a little schematic?
- He says, Great.
So this is a discontinued
Amercadian mess freighter?
Yeah, we can absolutely try.
- Thank you so much, Ross,
we really appreciate working with you.
(group laughing)
- The look down.
The look down while finishing-
- [Zac] Thank you so much.
- Already moved on.
- Thank you so much.
- When Ross departs,
can I have like a word
with Margaret and everyone?
- Yeah, absolutely.
You're on the bridge.
So right now, you are
descending into the lava planet.
As you do, you see this
planet is hell itself.
It is a roiling magma ball.
And as you start coming
in through the atmosphere,
just choking smoke and ash,
you come through a layer of the smoke,
see radiating heat waves.
And on this little platform,
just sort of like bright, palm green
and like, again, like
sort of swimming pool,
that like chlorinated, teal blue,
this little, floating paradise platform
floating over the lava
by about like 18 miles.
- Is it heaven or Mas Vegas?
- Is it heaven or Mas Vegas? Exactly.
Tons of beautiful lights, incredible-
Everything is gold and marble
and palm trees and water.
You see that the platform has, clearly,
some kind of force shield underneath it,
protecting it from the
incredible heat of the planet
that it is on.
And tons of water
is just spilling off
the sides of Mas Vegas,
hitting the force shield,
immediately evaporating
and creating this kind
of like steam bubble.
So the edges of the city,
as you lower into it,
are just towering columns of steam...
roaring up.
So you seem to be sort
of like encased in mist,
but can see a sort of
like light pollution,
like the light of the city
hitting the walls of steam
and commingling with like
the choking smoke overhead.
As you land on this platform,
you can go ahead and have this
conversation on the bridge.
- I have a slight concern
that it's possible
that we could be being set up.
- Oh, yeah.
- So that someone,
I mean, there's no reason
that Acme-Ash wouldn't want-
So I was kind of thinking
we should get that under wraps somehow
and maybe make sure
that the security detail
is not on our ship
and maybe try and park close enough
that Riva can go back into the ship
if she needs.
- Great.
Yeah, let's take all of those precautions.
That's a great idea.
- Right?
- That's a good idea.
- [Brennan] Amazing.
- Put a blanket on Gnosis or something?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- A few extra coffee cups, so-
- Yeah, yeah, definitely.
- So it's just super like, that's a table.
- [Ally] A stack of mail, yeah.
- Maybe a sign on the
bathroom that's like,
(group laughing)
and like, Gnosis sits in there.
- Okay, so like, yeah, let's
put Gnosis in the bathroom.
- [Murph] In the bathroom.
- Let's make the bathroom smell awful,
put Gnosis in there.
- Do not go in there!
(group laughing)
- You take some precautions
to hide Gnosis on the ship.
Zortch and Raymond Zam agree
to watch out for this place.
Zortch just like parks it.
They go like,
I'm gonna park it on the bridge with a gun
in case anyone shows up
and tries to do anything with the ship.
- Damn, Zortch.
- I,
(group laughing)
I'm here, I'm ready, okay?
I am ready.
Aurora Nebbins- (snarls)
- Yeah, should we bring
Aurora to the fight?
- I think she would be
very valuable to us.
- Okay.
Okay, I'm just like feeling
like there's probably gonna be
some psychics who maybe distort her mind
to then attack us.
- Well a lot of psychics can't-
- Because she's so sweet.
- She's so sweet.
A lot of psychics-
- She's really sweet.
- A certain level of-
- She's a beautiful dog.
- Oh, she's beautiful.
- Of wisdom or intelligence
cannot affect you
because you have no idea what's going on.
- She's got a minus four to
intelligence, so hopefully.
- A minus four?
- All right, we'll bring her then.
- [Lou] Yeah.
- Aurora?
(Brennan snarling)
I rip off a terrapin leg.
- Oh my God, why?
Why?
- Feed the whole thing!
Just feed the whole thing!
- I've gotten so used-
Barry so quickly mercy kills it.
It's like in tandem,
whenever we're in the gunner
thing and she feeds it,
I shoot it in the head as soon
as the leg is gonna go off.
(group laughing)
- I don't like doing this,
but ultimately this is,
I am the angel of mercy.
- You guys see the ramp extends down.
The Jib Jobbers all get ready
to go home for the night,
sort of waves.
- [Zac] Angel of mercy...
- You see a bunch of new Jib
Jobbers come aboard, as well.
- Hi, welcome.
- I shake each of their hands.
- Hey, nice to meet you, nice to meet you.
- It's great to meet you.
- As they do, you guys see, again,
some representatives
from Acme-Ashmun show up.
They say, alright, well,
check-in at the fight
is in about a Marbec and a half,
but is there anything that
you'd like to do prior to,
you wanna be taken to your suite,
taken to the locker room, get ready?
Whatever it is you wanna do.
- I might need to stop
by a store really quick.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, we gotta pick up some stuff.
- Munitions, we need to pick up.
- I think we wanna do a little shopping
and also if there's some sort of,
you know, bar where
folks like us hang out.
- Yeah.
- The cool people.
- Yeah, we wanna go to like
wherever the seediest den is.
- I'm gonna say you do
not have enough time
to use any background features.
- Cool.
- Then just a store, thank you.
- We'll just go to a store.
- We'll just go to a store.
- I don't suppose you have any information
on the other teams that we're
competing against, do you?
- Yeah, that's what I was
kind of curious about.
- Yes, I mean-
- They're probably pretty famous, right?
- I'm assuming there's talk of like-
- Yeah, people.
- I mean, of course,
we're the new hot shots, but you know,
I'm assuming there's,
you know, scuttlebutt.
- Absolutely.
We can give you all a rundown on that.
We actually have a whole schematic
that we're gonna be
able to run for you guys
to sort of break down
the opponents for you
when we arrive at the hotel.
- That's a PowerPoint, yeah.
- Great.
And then, what is this-
How long does this go for?
- The last one lasted about...
30 seconds.
- Great.
- Right on.
- [Emily] Thank you.
- You guys are driven
in this long limousine
through the streets of Mas Vegas.
- Are there drinks in the back?
Is there shots?
- [Brennan] Oh, yeah,
you see there's some drinks in the back.
- Put it in my gun first!
- You guys pass by a number of famous,
you see the Midas,
the Nero,
the Andalusian,
all these incredible, famous casinos.
You look out in front of them.
A bunch of the outsides of
the casinos are populated
with Running In Place parlors.
You know that Running In Place
is a business that allows
you to enter this pod
and sell years off your life.
It's sort of a life extension thing-
- Oh God.
- Where you can go, like
if you pay a lot of money,
you can go get your life extended
but if you wanna make money,
you can sell years off your own life.
You see a lot of them are placed
immediately outside the doors of casinos.
- Oh.
- Oh God, that is so wrong.
- R.I.P.
- Yeah, Viva Mas-
- Running In Place.
- Running In Place. R.I.P.
(Emily laughing)
Viva Mas Vegas.
- That'll never happen to me.
- Yeah.
- I know when to stop.
- Yeah, our whole group really famously-
- Really famously knows.
- I was gonna do one of those.
I was gonna do one of those ones.
- Gunnie's just sprinting.
(group laughing)
- You see a little sort
of comm on your news
as you're going to the weapons store.
This is Rootersnoos Ferret,
Jimmy The Snout live,
coming to you from Madrugada
Station above Rubian V.
Billions of pilgrims
from all over the galaxy
have made their way to this
moon of the gas giant, Rubian,
to attempt to stop the
outbreak of violence.
Coming together, holding hands in a vigil.
Pilgrims say they are more than happy
to do whatever is necessary
to stop the further escalation
of outright war in the sector.
You continue along in your-
- In our limousine?
- Same. (cocking gun)
(group laughing)
- And you guys arrive at,
you sort of go some place in town.
You see a weapon store,
like brilliant, neon signs everywhere.
It is a four story, like big box.
- Here we go.
- Guns, ammunitions, ships' weapons,
just like every kind of
weapon you could ever want
in this enormous department store.
- Are there also drones like Riva uses?
- They do sell psychodrones here.
- Sweet, I have a shopping list.
Do other people have a shopping list?
- Yes.
- I do have a shopping list.
- I have one thing.
- Is it gonna be same price
as things in the player's handbook, or-
- Here? (Die clatters)
It's gonna be a 20% markup on everything.
- Dammit.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Should we just like write down our list
and send it to you?
- Only mention it to me if it
costs more than 400 credits.
- Okay, actually, I have to
mention everything to you.
I would like to get a
fragmentation charge,
a hunting rifle and a thermal detonator.
- Perfect, you can do all of it.
- Actually, I have the money.
I'd like two thermal detonators.
Can I actually borrow money
to get two thermal detonators?
- Yeah, definitely.
- Absolutely.
- Let me see what the
hell I'm agreeing to.
(group laughing)
- And I would love fiber
armor, if they have that here.
- I think I'll also buy fiber armor.
- [Brennan] Fiber armor, cool.
- I would also like fiber armor.
- [Emily] Fiber armor.
- [Brennan] So spend
whatever you're gonna spend,
and then at the end of doing that,
it's a fifth of whatever you spent-
- Cool.
- On top of it.
- I've got, so I've already done the math.
I'm going to spend $6.852.
I'm gonna buy a revolver.
- [Brennan] Okay.
- Which is a one handed gun.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- I'm gonna buy a heavy shield generator,
which is a plus three offhand AC thing.
And then composite armor,
which will get my AC up to 17.
That's 2.500 credits.
- [Lou] Okay.
- And then the other stuff is all little.
- Does the heavy shield have
like a carrying capacity to it?
- The shield generator does not.
- [Ally] Okay.
- And it's 1250.
- Okay, great, yeah.
That's something I was gonna get, too.
- So you, you guys are
going back to broke fast.
- Yes!
- [Zac] Go big or go home.
- How much do the psychodrones cost?
- [Brennan] 400 credits each.
- Oh, great, then I'll buy three.
- [Brennan] Great.
(group laughing)
You go ahead and buy three psychodrones.
(Emily laughing)
Hell yeah, great, great, great.
They do sell a device that links them up.
- Yes.
- If you want.
Obviously, you can't
split your consciousness
into all three.
- [Siobhan] No.
- But you can like bring
some spares out with you.
- Yes, exactly.
That's what I would like to do.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- However much that costs.
- That one costs 800.
- Great.
- And then I'd like the parts,
I'm still considering it,
but can I get the parts to
possibly modify my auto-injector
or an auto injector-gadget
that I might be working on?
- Yes, you can go ahead and grab that.
We'll call that a cool 500 credits.
- Great.
- Okay, I actually need to borrow $2.000.
- It's yours.
- Okay! (Emily laughing)
- Yeah, it'll come out of my pocket.
- [Brennan] You guys-
- Wait, I'll lend it to you, because
you have things that you
need to spend money on-
- No, it's fine, I actually really don't.
- All I want is for you to pick
out a fridge magnet for me.
- I actually have a really good magnet
to decorate one of your drones with.
- Oh my God.
- Then 2000 Credits from me.
- Thank you.
- So you guys have like a
hover trolley behind you
and a couple of like
these Acme-Ashmun escorts
who are just picking stuff up
and a mountain of gear begins to go up.
It's like beep, beep, beep.
And you're seeing like
going into the thousands,
heading well over like
five figures of credits.
(group laughing)
- Yeah.
Yeah, it is going over
five figures, for sure.
- I spent so much money.
- I spent a lot of money.
Can we say that,
I dunno if this is near any other stores,
but I would love to pop in somewhere
and find my exact suit,
but in black leather.
- Perfect, yes.
- And trade in that and then get two bands
to put all my grenades on.
- [Emily] Yeah!
- [Brennan] Incredible.
- I just look exactly the same,
and I want a new, like a-
a stronger case for my cell phone.
(group laughing)
Bulletproof case.
- A bulletproof-
You get to the front
and looking at all the
stuff you're buying,
the cashier actually does just take a
bulletproof cell phone holder.
- Incredible.
It's like those stories of like
my granddad was shot in the war,
but he had a metal Bible in
his pocket and it saved him.
That's what I want.
- Okay.
You guys buy an
extraordinary amount of gear.
- I actually have one more thing.
- War lords!
- I have one more thing to ask about,
and I haven't found anything about this.
Is there any sort of...
armor for service animals?
- Uh, yeah.
There's a couple different types of armor
available for service animals.
- For Aurora?
- You could absolutely get
Aurora Nebbins some armor here.
- Um, I am out of money.
- How much is it?
- Yeah, how much do you need?
- How much is it?
- I have 900 credits left.
- I have 3.500 credits.
- I have 3.000.
- There's the best stuff available here
is gonna give disadvantage on stealth.
- Do we go for it with Aurora?
- [Siobhan] I think so.
- Yeah, definitely, get her-
- Yeah, I think if we already have
people going disadvantage.
- With a disadvantage.
- Is there a way to get
my drones' AC up as well?
- Yes.
So they have a suit of armor here that,
with that 20% markup,
that'll be 3.000 altogether
for composite armor.
- And what does that add to her AC?
- AC 15 plus two from Aurora's dex.
So that would give-
- 17.
- 17?
That would take her from 12 to 17.
- That's what I'm wearing.
- Okay.
- [Lou] How much do you need?
- [Siobhan] How much is it?
- 3.000, you said?
- 3.000 altogether.
- 3.000, okay.
You got it.
- All right from me.
- I have not bought a single
thing this entire campaign,
and I just spent 7.000 credits.
- Last night, I had
dinner with my girlfriend
and then I looked at my phone
and it said 80 missed
messages from our text chain.
So we absolutely figured
this shit out ahead of time.
- And you said, "Babe, I
really need to do this."
- [Brennan] Okay.
- I said, "Babe, I gotta go.
"It was great to see ya."
- You guys do all of that
in about like, you know,
45 Martrons,
so you gotta get to the Andalusian.
- Sweet.
- Let's do it.
- Oh, God.
- So you guys roll up to the Andalusian,
you're covered in gear.
You walk by.
As you're going through the hotel,
everyone give me perception checks.
(Dice rolling)
- 13.
- Nine.
- 23.
- 13.
- Dirty 20.
- [Brennan] Dirty 20.
- 16.
- As you're going through,
Skip, you look over and
see this beautiful pool,
lots of people- it's exciting.
It's just weird to see a pool,
'cause it is nighttime
now, even artificially,
but you're like going through
and you look out, see
people really excited.
People in the casino are whispering like,
Oh, that's new Acme-Ashmun people.
As you guys start to go through,
you see a group of bikini-clad,
partially like terrycloth robed women
enjoying like a lovely,
there's like a fruit table out there.
It looks like they're getting
waited on hand and foot.
One of them goes like,
"Sadie Zeb, did you get your Bellini?"
And she looks and says,
No, but I'll tell you what, sister,
all good things come to
she who waits and waits
and waits and waits.
And there's a big laugh that
goes up from all of them.
As you move through the
pool, they all look done up,
like some of them are
wearing like opulent jewelry,
even in like swimsuits.
- Are they one of the teams
that we're gonna fight?
- You go through, and I'm gonna
say you get away from there
into your locker room
before, on that 23 perception check,
there were 12 of them.
- [Siobhan] 12 of them?
- The cloistered nuns that I supposedly...
(Zac laughing)
- All things come to she who
waits and waits and waits
is one of the teachings
of the Cosmic Veil.
(retro music)
- [Murph] All right.
- So they're not dead?
- You get to your-
you put that together in your head, you-
- They're just in Vegas? God damn it.
(Brennan laughs)
- Or they're babes?
- [Murph] Or they're fighting us.
- [Ally] Oh my God.
- And they're absolute babes!
- They're absolute smokin' hot babes!
- 12 nuns are absolute smoke shows!
(group gurgling)
- She didn't get her Bellini yet?
- You guys get into the locker room.
You have, yes, but you do realize that
as you get to the locker room.
Do you say anything?
- I whisper that I,
"Huddle up, huddle up, huddle up."
- Yeah.
- You know those nuns that
are supposed to be dead
that I supposedly killed,
or, you know, Skipper did?
- Right on, right on?
- They're over there
having a bikini party.
(group laughing)
- Those absolute babes?
- But they were so hot.
- They're supposed to be dead.
- They're just terry clothed,
which makes sense, kind of.
- Yeah.
- But I think they're
just hiding out here.
- Should we go talk to them?
- Maybe we,
do wanna wait until after, hopefully?
- After we win and we have a-
- [Lou] If we're hot exiting-
- [Zac] Yeah.
- [Emily] Yeah, we're
definitely gonna run.
- I can't wait to go over there,
once we have a million credits,
and say,
"You're not even dead and
I have a million credits."
(group laughing)
- It's gonna be so cool.
- It's gonna be really cool.
(dance music)
- Incredible.
So you guys are in the locker room.
You have all of your
gear, you're suited up.
You see-
(mechanical whirring)
(mechanical whirring)
- Can I hook my extra
drones onto the people,
maybe Gunnie and then the two
people that have jet packs?
- Okay, you want, yeah, if you want your-
- Wait I have to carry around-
- Yeah, I'm not sure I can carry-
- Yeah, actually, where are,
so your drones do fold up.
- [Siobhan] Uh-huh.
- So theoretically, someone like Barry
could probably have the
spare drones on like-
- [Siobhan] Okay, great.
- Chewbacca, C3PO?
- [Brennan] Yeah, yeah.
- Maybe we should,
well, it's too late to
leave one in the ship.
We'll take all three.
We'll take all three extras.
- Yeah, well,
we can leave one in the locker room.
- Are we about to go out?
Can we like huddle up
right before we go out?
- Yeah.
You can huddle up right before, yeah.
- I just wanna like-
- [Zac] Pray?
- I would've, (Ally laughing)
I just wanna pray.
I feel like in the ship,
I printed out a photo.
I like went back in the cameras
and found a photo of everyone
in like a particularly like nasty fight
with the Captain.
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm.
- And I was like, everybody,
I want you to look at this photo.
This is where we were at.
Okay, I was sad.
It's not you, I'm sorry, it's just.
- Insane that we took a picture.
- We used to be fucking miserable.
(group laughing)
- Yeah.
- We just spent 40K credits
on guns.
We're about to get $1.000.000.
We have come so fucking far,
and you know what?
We're scary.
- Yeah.
- We're fucking scary, look around.
- Scary as hell.
- Everyone's got a ponytail.
That's fucking scary.
- Whew.
- And so, I wanna do kind of like
a motivating speech and sage
advice at the same time.
- You may absolutely do both of these.
- [Ally] Okay, so now when-
- Should I got talk to those nuns?
- Yeah. Well, when we go out there,
everybody has 1d6 plus four temp HP,
plus three to AC,
and a plus eight to any
intimidation roll you roll
during this entire fight.
- Eight to intimidation?
- Repeat everything you just said.
- [Ally] Yeah, exactly.
- [Lou] You said it so fast.
- Okay, oh, yeah, lemme roll the d6.
Okay.
- Did you say plus three to AC?
- Plus three to AC.
- What is this?
- What!
- Now you have six temp HP.
I only rolled a two.
- [Zac] Oh- Ah, damn.
- [Brennan] Six temp HP to everybody.
- [Ally] Yeah.
- [Emily] Does Aurora
Nebbins get this, too?
- [Brennan] Remember that
temporary HP does not stack.
- [Emily] Yeah, yeah, so I won't do this-
- Oh, okay, so we don't need to do drugs.
- Not yet.
- [Lou] Some of us are gonna drink, but.
(group laughing)
- [Brennan] Incredible.
- I'm also gonna cast
battle precog on myself.
So my base AC is 15.
- Plus this possible three?
- Motivating diplomat:
When you are the target of
your critical analysis feature,
your allies within 10
feet of you get a bonus-
- [Brennan] A bonus, okay.
- To their AC, okay.
- So we have to be within 10 feet,
so sorry, yeah, yeah.
- And that means that
you're putting your critical
analysis on yourself.
- [Ally] Yes.
- So you have your critical
analysis on yourself.
Within 10 feet of Margaret,
you have plus three
to your armor class.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry.
It's not that crazy.
- And I am going to, before the fight,
I'm going to shield up with
the heavy shield generator
and then a revolver in the other hand.
- Yeah, shield up with the
heavy shield generator as well.
- And I'm going to, right before we go on,
I'm going to manifest
my explosives mastery
for the first time.
And then I'm also going
to cast mirror image,
so a couple more Sundry Sidneys come out.
And I'll also cast
motivator boost on myself,
because mirror image is not,
is not concentration.
- Yeah, do all this now.
- I'm gonna ask for Sid's permission.
I would like to affix five sentry turrets
to Aurora Nebbins,
(Ally laughing)
if you'll allow it.
- [Siobhan] Hell yeah.
- Absolutely.
Aurora, are you okay with some sentry?
(Brennan grunting)
Okay.
(Emily laughing)
- [Ally] Is this so that she can fly?
- No, these will be five sentry turrets
that if anyone comes
within 10 feet of her,
they'll shoot on,
or she comes within 10 feet of them,
the turrets will shoot on them.
So I just put these five globes,
just kind of stick them
in between the quills.
- [Ally] Oh my God.
- Like two on each side.
- Should you put those on me?
- I could put one on you.
Do you wanna wear one?
I don't know how big.
It says they're the size-
they adhere to any surface.
As an action or bonus action,
you can throw a sentry at a
point you see within range.
- Give me a mechanics kit check.
(Ally laughing)
- And how close do people
need to be for that to?
- 10 Feet.
- [Murph] Okay.
- That's a...
18.
- 18, okay.
You can affix two to Aurora Nebbins
before the amount of space-
like she counts as like a 10 foot square.
- Great, so-
- [Murph] Can you put one on me?
- I put one on Barry,
(group laughing)
two on Aurora Nebbins.
- And like I said before,
when I was saying I put fridge
magnets on Riva's drone body,
that was a charge fragmentation.
- [Brennan] All right.
- And I'll put one on your drone body.
- [Brennan] Amazing.
- Oh, my bad.
So it's plus three to intimidation
plus eight the first time you use it.
- [Emily] Okay.
- So yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [Brennan] Copy.
- Well, also, I might be
doing some swirly stuff
with my critical analysis,
'cause I have two reactions per turn.
- [Brennan] Yes, yes, yes, yes.
- And I took a feat that allows me as a,
if someone is making a saving throw,
I can use a reaction to put
my critical analysis on them.
- Cool.
- Did I get the-
- Yes, I've infused your weapon.
So your crystal dagger
is a plus one to attack.
- Oh, my blaster pistol, if I could?
- Oh, blaster, is that what you wanna do?
- Yeah.
- That's a plus one to attack and damage.
- Lot of, (mechanical whirring)
(clicking)
suited up, and you see that Ross-
- I will cast sabotage charges.
That's the last one.
- Okay, you guys head out-
- Wait, real quick?
- Yes?
- I'm so sorry.
- [Brennan] It's good.
- So this is when we want to do everything
we're doing right before?
- [Brennan] Yep.
- Okay.
(Zac zipping)
I think Gunnie's gonna
hit the Runalunian absynthe real quick.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- I'm gonna go into-
I'm waiting like until we step in
and it's about to be go time.
- [Brennan] Yeah.
- For it to be zone time.
- Zone time.
- I also drink absynthe.
- I think that's gonna
be my drug consumption.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- Well, I'm gonna walk out
drinking Runalunian vodka.
- Oh, if things get really
bad, can somebody give me some,
can I have some Kublacaine?
- Yeah, I pass out the Kublacaine-
- Sweet.
- So that as an action,
if things are going bad.
- I'm not gonna take it
right now 'cause I don't.
- I have it on me.
- The Kublacaine, doesn't it-
does it redo every turn?
- At the start of each creature's turn,
it gains 2d4 temporary hit points.
At the end of the high,
the creature must succeed
a DC 14 wisdom saving throw
or experience a low-
- Jesus Christ.
- that lasts 10 minutes,
during which they must roll
a d4 and subtract the result
when making an ability check
or saving throw using constitution,
and for the duration,
their current maximum hit
points are reduced by 2d4.
- Sweet, I'll do some Kublacaine.
- Oh, yeah.
Can I message Zortch on
the ship and say, "Zortch?"
- We cut to the ship. Zortch
just starts sprinkling like
a pepper shaker of Kublacaine-
- [Ally] Like fish food.
so when you take Kublacaine,
by the way, I do need to say,
when this happens,
(group laughing)
the way it feels,
an ego enhancing drug
that takes hold of a
normal or hyper normal ego
foundering in the umbra
of rational thought,
id-ridden, fumbling and
unaware of it or itself
and transforms it into a
forged, titanium fortress
housing a crystalline consciousness
just dripping with highlights
and bristling with juicily
dangerous sharp edges.
Upon consumption of the drug,
the consumer remains calm outwardly
while within burgeons a much larger
and oh so very calmer
calm, a waveless calm,
a serene, reposeful, Halcyonian calm,
a calm based on the sudden
and irrefutable knowledge
that one is really quite a nice guy,
no, a great guy,
a prince, in fact, nay a Lord,
a great Lord, stark and terrible,
whose name or intimation of
one's name conjures overall
and solemn veneration in each
mere and mortal consciousness
within the vast breadth
of one's omniscient gaze.
Faint hearts quail.
All bow, nay, genuflect
before the all-knowing,
all-seeing, all-being Being.
- Amen, brother.
- Yeah, Amen, Cody.
Amen.
Amen, Brad.
- So are we all just like sitting there,
like quietly inside, going crazy?
- Oh, no, I think I'm like
pumping my chest with my gun.
- You are each fully
possessed of the knowledge
that you are the central being
at the core of the multiverse,
and this is the realization
of your grand destiny
made manifest through your
beneficent, multitudinous self.
- I didn't do Kublacaine.
(group laughing)
I'm just drinking the tech points vodka.
- [Brennan] Yeah.
- Margaret, call Auma.
Call Auma, tell her to watch.
(group laughing)
- I will.
I send Auma a text that's like,
maybe check this out, with a link.
- Hey guys, whatever happens out there,
just don't forget,
the ball's not rolling up anymore.
We are the ball,
(group laughing)
and we're going straight up.
- We are the ball.
- Yeah, we are the ball!
- We are the ball.
- I cannot believe it.
I can't believe how far
we as a table have come,
from Kristen's inspiring speeches
to Margaret's sage advice.
It's beautiful.
So, now you are escorted
out of the locker room.
They walk you.
You hear, Welcome, one
and all, to Fight Night
here at the Kubla-Cola Gladiatorial Arena.
Presenting your master of ceremonies,
Zeke Donaldson Quark!
Crowd erupts.
You see, wearing a neon
suit made of light,
with this like wild like sort of plume
of like troll doll hair.
You see smiling, like metallic
eyeshadow and lipstick.
This sort of beautiful
television presenter, announcer.
Hello, friends of Fight Night.
It's the Battle of the Brands.
(cheering)
It goes nuts.
You can't see them, but
announcing over the channels,
you see the Rec Station News box
and you can hear some announcement of,
"Good evening and welcome
to Battle of the Brands.
"It's Jimmy The Snout,
Rec Station News Ferret,
"here with Chip Hatwell,
"providing commentary live!"
"Hey, gang, it's Chip Hatwell.
"Happy to be here."
And the crowd going nuts.
You are moved to a dais.
As the platform moves out
in the center the arena,
roaring crowds of people
and billions of viewers at
home all across the galaxy,
and also, immediately,
all of your enemies
see you here-
- Oh, no.
- At the Battle the Brands
in Mas Vegas, Lavada.
- Can we have each done, like,
just like one little clip that they play
when they do it like a package,
just so I can be like,
"Eat your heart out, Warfare Whitney."
(group laughing)
- Oh, wow.
Absolute brand slander outta the gate
from Sundry Sidney, the gunner,
one of the two gunners here.
You see Zeke Donaldson,
In this corner,
challenger announced two Marbecs ago,
representing the Acme-Ashmun brand,
Acme-Ashmun, when you need the very best,
here we have, straight from
the heart of the galaxy,
you might have seen them
on Newscast from Rec 97,
give it up for The Gunner Channel!
- [Group] Woo!
- Can we make intimidation checks?
- Yeah, can I do a flip?
Can I do like a jetpack-y...
- I'm gonna save my
intimidation check for-
- [Brennan] I'm gonna say this-
- Oh, yeah, 'cause we only
get a bonus to the first.
- Give me a group, I
guess, performance check.
- Great.
- Okay.
- Guys, look at us.
Look at us up there.
Oh, look at us.
- Oh my goodness.
- [Lou] God damn.
- Can I do an insight check on the crowd?
- [Brennan] Sure.
- So I can get advantage on this.
- I got a 22.
- [Brennan] 22, yeah.
- 17.
- 14.
- [Brennan] 14, 17, cool.
- [Murph] One.
Cool, 22, one.
- 22.
- [Zac] 11.
- 11.
- Barry's just in it.
- I think Barry's just
making his own crowd sound,
so it seems super weird.
He's like, "Hah!"
(group laughing)
"Ah!"
- What is that guy doing?
- All right, Barry, you
don't have to do that here.
There's a real crowd!
- (chanting) Barry!
Barry!
(Emily laughing)
Barry!
- Um, you guys see-
- I put his sunglasses over
his mouth so no one can see.
- Up in a sky box,
you guys see a group of
Acme-Ashmun executives
who you realize, that's
your real audience here.
- Great.
- Ooh.
- That's who you're performing for.
Zeke Donaldson Quark says,
And in this corner,
weighing in cumulatively at 280 pounds,
you know them, you love them,
you see them every Saturday morning,
straight from the fuzzy, little forest
at the heart of Uncle
Bob's Fantanimal Land,
It's Smaggy Squirrel and Brobbin Bunny!
- Boo!
(group booing)
(crowd cheering)
- [Siobhan] We hate that squirrel!
- Where are they?
- We have to fight a frigging squirrel?
- Their thighs are so thick.
- [Ally] Their thighs are good.
- [Zac] Why does that bunny have a chain?
- And in this corner,
weighing in at 2.240 pounds
straight from Amercadia,
the Kansas Construct,
representing Kansas Korncakes.
You know him, you love him.
It's time to get good and hungry for
Brutus!
A 20 foot tall corn android
- Awh.
- Wielding two-
- So cute!
- [Murph] His quads are enormous.
- His quads are so big.
All of these guys have thighs for days.
- Oh my God.
That's the scariest thing I've ever seen.
- You can notice the corn is a costume,
and you can see the
android eyes looking at-
the corn is just foam.
- [Emily] It's a Vercadian.
- It's a Vercadian, yeah, absolutely.
- Oh!
- Oh, wow.
- That is a corn cutie.
- The room goes quiet
and you hear like that sort of like,
the synth music plays,
like (Brennan scatting).
Laser show starts.
And last Rigon's champion,
crowd favorite,
everyone in the crowd starts chanting,
(low, indistinct chanting)
and you can't quite make
out the word. They say,
Representing Triangle Mint Cookies,
the pride of the Galactic Girl Guides
and the Galaxy's favorite snack,
recovered from the heart of
a planetary weapons array,
lodged in the heart of a dying star,
you know it, give it up for
the Triangle Mint Plinth!
And you see everyone's shouting.
Plinth! Plinth! Plinth! Plinth!
A glittering, obsidian obelisk,
(group laughing)
that appears to be a
telekinetic slab of alien stone.
(group laughing)
- Barry thinks they're chanting "Syx".
Syx! Syx! Syx! Syx!
- Oh, we're not-
- No, Barry, they're for the black thing.
- Syx!
Syx!
- It might the drugs, but
it's, you know, working on him.
- You guys see the crowd go
nuts when Plinth shows up.
And you see someone that goes like,
You get 'em, Plinth!
We love Plinth!
Plinth just hovers there.
You can feel waves of psychic radiation.
You feel like you're being irradiated
by the mere presence of the
Plinth on the fight dais.
- Great.
Perfect.
- Okay.
- Without further ado, give
it up for our champions.
No rules, just right, here at Fight Night
at the Kubla-Cola Gladiatorial Arena.
Put your hands together
and let round one begin!
Fight!
Everybody roll initiative.
- [Siobhan] Oh my God.
- Oh!
- Are we just fighting on this thing?
- Is there not another team?
I thought there were five teams.
- I got a nat one, but I'm re-rolling it.
- Oh my God, nice.
- Yes.
- 11.
- I also got an 11.
- I got a 14.
- 20.
- Nat one.
- [Brennan] Nat one?
Gunnie, what did you get?
- 13.
- Okay, the fight begins.
We enter initiative and
Aurora is gonna go with Sid.
So Sid and Aurora are gonna
act on the same initiative.
Skip?
- [Zac] Yeah.
- [Brennan] You are first to act.
- So prior to my turn, I also
get to move with bad feeling.
- That's correct.
- I'm gonna look around and see like,
what is fair game in this arena?
Like what are these big
posts in the corner?
Like could I get on one of those things?
- You see that those are
like camera stations.
- Okay, so that is outta bounds.
- [Brennan] Those camera stations
are out of bounds, correct.
- [Zac] Okay.
- Like out of bounds?
They did say no rules in the beginning.
- [Murph] That's true.
- They did say no rules.
- [Brennan] They did say no rules.
- But it's out of bounds?
- Well, yeah, it looks
like it is out of bounds.
Correct.
- [Emily] Okay.
- I'm sorry to say this,
but it's out of bounds,
but there are also no rules, right?
So I do wanna jump on one
of those camera nests.
- Yeah.
- [Brennan] Okay, go for it.
- [Zac] Is that okay?
- [Brennan] Yeah.
Go for it, go for it.
- [Zac] And hide up there with Marge.
- You grab Marge,
you scoot up, you're flying.
You're in one of those nests there.
- I'm gonna go up there and then,
well, yeah,
take that attack with my
blaster pistol on the Plinth.
- [Brennan] Hell yes.
- Oh my God.
- You might as well see what it's made of.
- [Ally] Get some info.
- Yeah, let's get data.
- Fuck it, I'm attacking the Plinth.
(group laughing)
- Here we go.
And you're within range from where you are
to hit the Plinth with a blaster?
- Yeah, it's like 40
something feet, it looks like.
- Cool.
Yeah, go ahead and make your attack.
- I hate that tone.
So that would be,
I have advantage because
they haven't gone yet.
Higher one is 16,
but with the supreme accuracy,
I'm gonna also roll again.
Yeah, 16 on the die plus,
with that, I have a plus nine to hit.
So it's a 25.
- I'm gonna go ahead and say, cool, yeah,
you definitely have it.
You can, on your flight up,
get a totally clear shot on Plinth.
A 25 does hit.
You immediately take
four points of damage.
As you fire at it,
you feel reverberating from it
a pure, alien, psychic hatred
of crystalline consciousness
and blood vessels in your nose burst
as your brain is scrambled.
Four points of damage.
Go ahead and take your attack.
- So, that was one of
Plinth's legendary reactions?
- Or Plinth just
does damage every time we-
- Just goes every time we hit him,
I think.
- Yeah.
- 17 plus six is 23 damage.
- 23 damage to Plinth.
- I'm going to targeted strike
where I add a superiority die to that.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- And so that's with an additional six.
- Plinth takes 29 points of damage,
which you can tell bypasses
a hefty damage threshold.
- Okay.
- [Emily] Ooh.
- And then bonus action, hide.
(Zac laughing)
- Hell yeah,
give me a stealth check.
- We're just gonna hope.
That is a... 26.
- [Brennan] Incredible.
26 stealth, okay,
that's gonna be Smaggy
Squirrel and Brobbin Bunny.
- Okay.
- [Murph] Focus on the Plinth.
- Together, we can destroy Plinth!
- Brobbin Bunny is gonna
rush Aurora Nebbins
and Smaggy Squirrel is
gonna rush Sundry Sidney.
They're going for the closest ones.
- Okay.
- I look up at the corn guy.
I want you in the finals.
(group laughing)
Me and you.
- Oh my fucking God.
- Okay, that's a hit
against Aurora Nebbins.
- Okay.
- I'm so scared.
- I know.
- I'm terrified.
- [Ally] Me too.
- I just don't want Plinth to go.
- I know, I'm terrified of Plinth.
- Why did I, ugh,
I just truly forgot to use
one of my basic abilities
in that turn.
- 23, 33 points of
damage to Aurora Nebbins
as Brobbin Bunny says,
I think you should take a nap!
And against you,
definitely gonna be a hit.
Go ahead and roll
to see if it gets one
of your mirror images.
- Can I just shield?
- Each time the creature
targets you with an attack
during the power's duration,
roll a D20 to determine whether
the attack instead targets
one of your duplicates.
- [Emily] Okay.
- So shield-
- So, it doesn't matter.
- See if that happens first,
and then shield would happen after?
- [Brennan] Yeah.
- I got a 10.
- They hit one of your duplicates,
d10 plus your dex mod,
so one duplicate destroyed.
- Bye, Sid.
- Coming at you
with another attack.
Hits again.
Roll to see if it hits another duplicate.
- 12.
- Okay.
So two of your duplicates,
as Smaggy Squirrel says,
(Brennan squealing)
and both of them go
(Brennan laughing)
and leap straight up into
like these swirling cones,
swirling cylinders above you.
- Wouldn't I get an opportunity attack?
- They're going to bonus action disengage.
- [Emily] Okay, okay.
- And both of them leap up
the tall cylinders up above.
- Terrifying.
- Really awful.
(Brennan laughing)
That is going to be Riva.
- Okay, it's failed twice,
but this is the fight where
it'll work, I swear to God.
I'm going to cast psychic
confusion on the corn cutie,
and I'm gonna do it with heightened spell
so that they have disadvantage
on their wisdom saving throw.
- Attacking everyone. Exactly.
- Okay.
You're gonna use psychic confusion.
- He can't be that smart,
he's a big corn thing.
- Exactly.
- Big, old corn thing.
- He's just a protector droid.
- The quads on that.
- They put all of it
in like, you know, con.
- I mean, he was dumb enough
to get in this stupid outfit.
- [Brennan] What is the save here?
- DC 16.
- Wisdom, right?
- [Siobhan] At disadvantage.
- Nice.
Ooh, this is great.
- Passes.
- [Murph] What?
- Well, good for him.
In which case I will
quicken, try and disarm
one of these disgusting-
The disgusting rabbit.
- Hell, yes.
Try to disarm the disgusting rabbit.
- And that's either strength or dex.
DC 16, once again.
- You see that the chain whips out
and it wraps an arm around and says,
No, no, no.
Mine!
And pulls it back.
- Great.
I'm gonna move so I am
behind Aurora Nebbins.
- [Brennan] Incredible.
- [Siobhan] Did nothing.
- You move, rush behind Aurora Nebbins.
That's Riva.
Gunnie, that is you.
- Great, is there anyone, can-
I mean, I don't know if
I'm allowed to ask this.
Is there anyone in the initiative
order between me and Sid?
- You are not allowed to
ask that. You do not know.
- Great.
I'm not allowed to ask that.
Okay.
I want to-
- These bunnies drew first blood, Gunnie.
- So it's, we're on the-
- We're on the bunnies.
- We're on the bunnies?
- Well,
Skip bled out of his nose.
He had a nosebleed.
- I think the Plinth is unfeeling.
- So the bunnies drew first blood.
(Murph laughing)
- I feel like they're just gonna
fucking attack us every time.
- Great.
- Yeah.
Any way we can convince them to not?
- Can I do an intimidate
check on the on the rabbits?
I mean, like, "You don't want this!"
(group laughing)
You don't want this!
- Give me an intimidate check.
- And I get plus?
- Eight.
- Okay.
- First one, and you're
sponsored, so this needs to work.
(group laughing)
- [Ally] No!
- [Siobhan] Oh, come on.
- It's a 17.
You don't want this!
- Want this?
- You don't!
- Want it.
- You don't want this!
- Want this! Okay.
- Okay.
It sounds like they do want this.
I'm gonna fly back.
You don't want this.
I'm gonna hit the rabbit
with an explosion.
- Okay.
- Or can I hit a point between the two
that they are both engulfed
in a 20 foot radius?
- Oh, they are definitely not
20 feet away from each other.
- Great, I would like to hit
both of the two of them with an explosion.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- They make DC 17 dexterity saving throws.
- Does it knock them down or anything,
or just do a bunch of damage?
- Just does 8d6.
- Cool.
- Go ahead and roll damage.
- Okay.
Eight,
14,
22,
33 points of damage.
- [Brennan] 33 points of damage?
- [Siobhan] Nice.
- Smaggy and Brobbin both leap up,
doing insane double back flips in the air.
Smaggy takes no damage.
Brobbin takes half of that
for 16 points of damage.
- Great.
Then I'm gonna throw two
sabotage charges at them.
So I need two more dexterity
saving throws from them.
- They both make their
saves, take no damage.
- Oh, then I won't.
- They don't take any damage?
- Oh, 'cause they,
they're like high level rogues,
they're like level 10 rogues.
- Do they get to do that every time?
- No, they, it's that, yeah.
- And I'm gonna use my
last feet of movement
to put the pillar in
between me and anybody.
- Brennan, you're right,
you made this unfair.
(Brennan laughing)
- Incredible.
- I believe in us.
- I believe in us, as well.
- I think this turn it might be go time.
- [Murph] I'm 100% going to kill
one of the little guys.
- I think this turn.
(Ally laughing)
- Even if I die.
- If we kill one of the little guys,
I'll be happy at this point.
- Then we're fine.
- I've just seen how bad
this fight is for us.
If we can-
- And then Aurora Nebbins
is not within 10 feet of anyone, correct?
- Within 10 feet of Riva and Sid.
- Is Barry within 10 feet of the corn guy?
- Brutus is within 10
feet of Barry, correct.
- What are you?
- The sentry on your back.
- This is like going into the Royal Rumble
and attacking Stone Cold
Steve Austin and The Rock
at the same time.
- Okay, okay.
He has not been hostile to us yet,
so it doesn't have to attack him yet.
- [Brennan] Oh.
- Can this be public?
Can they shout like,
"Attack the corn person"
"No, he hasn't done anything yet."
- No!
Me and the corn guy are
going to the finals.
(group laughing)
- Give me, honestly, give me
a persuasion with advantage.
(group laughing)
- Can I use the intimidation? Less as-
- I will say yes.
- But more of just like,
we're both so strong!
(group laughing)
- [Brennan] Go for it, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Nat 20.
- Yay!
- Woo!
(group clapping)
- No way!
- Yes!
- Yes!
- Woo!
- Yes!
- Yes, baby!
- On a nat 20,
you see Brutus looks at you and says,
Eat Korncake, make you big
and strong, and headbutts you.
He's not going to attack Barry.
(Murph laughing)
I'm gonna roll a d6.
- If you kill a bunny, that's fine, do.
(Die clatters)
- Okay.
- Bunnies eat corn.
They're pests.
- He is not gonna target Barry with this,
but he's gonna try to hit
as many people with this
as he can.
- [Siobhan] Oh my God.
(Ally laughing)
- [Brennan] So we start here.
- No, my team!
- Oh my God.
There's also just like dynamic lighting,
like from a candle, so his thighs.
- His thighs!
- His thighs are glowing.
- Where there's shading on
his thighs, you really get-
- Oh my God, is that a birthmark?
Honey, what happened to your thigh, baby?
Who hurt you?
(group laughing)
- Baby, who hurt you?
- Baby, who hurt you?
- Baby, who hurt you?
- On that nat 20 intimidation,
Brutus is going to move to
right next to the Plinth.
- Oh my God.
And he is going to hit
(dramatic music)
both Smaggy, Brobbin, the Plinth,
but also Sid, Aurora Nebbins and Riva.
- Makes sense.
- Okay.
- Is this a save or is this an attack?
- [Brennan] This is a save.
- What kind of save?
- A constitution-
- Add your d4.
- [Brennan] Saving throw.
- Add a d4, great.
I did do drugs.
- Add a d4 if you did drugs.
- Let me see what I get on the d4 first.
- Oh, yeah, does the uncanny dodge,
does that cost something?
- I got a 16, which is
probably not high enough.
- Okay, I'll help you.
- I got an 11.
- You should help Sid.
- Well, you might be able to save.
- [Siobhan] Right.
- I just add five to it,
like a flat five.
- Oh, okay.
- [Ally] So that would-
- That's very helpful.
- You would be 21.
- Yeah, I think you should go for Riva.
- I might be immediately down,
'cause I only have 32 hit points.
(dice shaking menacingly)
(dice clatter)
- Okay.
He goes, "See you in the final."
55 points of damage
to Riva, Sid-
- Can it be halved?
- [Brennan] And Aurora Nebbins.
- At 21?
- You got a 21?
- [Ally] Yeah.
- Halved.
- I'm down.
I think.
- [Brennan] Sid is down.
- [Brennan] Halved, 55 is halved to 27.
- 27, great.
Thank God for those temp hit points.
- What'd Aurora Nebbins get for the save?
- Oh, Aurora Nebbins is
definitely gonna be down, though,
even with half, yeah.
Aurora Nebbins is also down.
- You see, and now I'm
gonna roll some saves
for our other little friends here.
- Do we see the, or, whatever.
Yeah, we can't really see his face.
I wanted to know if the corn
immediately got hurt, too.
- You guys see, however, on that nat 20,
getting him away from trying to hit you,
he does also target Smaggy and Brobbin.
They each take the full 55-
- Jesus Christ.
- As Brutus goes,
(Brennan roaring)
and just a cone of
horrifying, gaseous venom
erupts from his mouth.
Eat Korncakes!
Plinth is completely immune to
poison damage, takes nothing.
- Jesus Christ.
- Oh my God.
Oh my God.
- And Riva, you are not down, correct?
- I am not down.
I have five hit points.
(Brennan roaring)
- You see,
Well, that's an incredible
venom breath from Brutus here.
We love to see the
action out here tonight.
This android has it all!
(crowd cheering)
And after that, Barry,
that is gonna be your turn.
- Sweet.
I am going to
action,
med pack my fellow gunner, Sid.
- [Ally] Hell yeah.
- [Emily] Ooh!
- So go ahead and roll a
hit dice, plus your con,
and then my
temp hit dice are gonna change.
- [Lou] This is crazy.
- So I go from being-
- This is crazy.
This is crazy.
- I can do this.
Put me fucking back in.
- If we take out one of these people,
we've done really, really well.
- So I go from
76 back down to 69.
- Nice.
- And then back up to 74.
And then that is my action.
I'm gonna go ahead
and I'll just get up on the
highest point that I can get
with the 30 feet.
- As you say that to
Brutus, he goes over there,
you run, do the pack,
get Sid back up and leap straight up.
As you do, all these
little robots flying around
all spotlight on you with that nat 20.
You hear Jimmy The Snout go,
Uh-oh, looks like some
mid-combat med packing here
(group laughing)
from Big Barry Syx.
(group clapping)
Straight up in the air.
I've never seen air on a heavy like that!
This guy's got weight, but he can move.
- Oh my God.
You absolutely have some like snus.
- Margaret, you haven't
gone in combat yet.
You look up, see Barry do that
and see one of the older
Acme-Ashmun executives
look up from their phone
for the first time.
- We did it.
- Ooh!
- We're getting signed to Reign.
(group laughing)
- [Brennan] Inside baseball, folks.
- It's a joke just for us.
- Okay, amazing.
At the end of your turn,
Brutus, I'm gonna take a legendary action,
and again, off that nat 20,
swats at the Plinth.
- [Zac] Yes!
(group shouting)
(Brennan laughing)
- [Siobhan] We stan!
- [Emily] Yes!
- Thighs of steel!
- Oh my God, Brutus.
- Hits it for 10 points of damage.
Brutus immediately takes four
as a blood vessel bursts in his nose.
Wow, you can see Brutus
really feeling the hatred of the Plinth!
We don't know what ancient
alien civilization built Plinth,
but we know they did not
like living organisms.
(Emily laughing)
- Wait, did the Plinth
take 10 points of damage?
So that was maybe like a damage threshold?
- Well information for
you, 10 points of damage,
the Plinth does not take
10 points of damage.
10 does not bypass the damage threshold.
- All right, okay.
- Oh, damn.
- So Plinth still only
injured by Skip's attack.
You see there's a little crack there
from where Skip shot Plinth.
Getting sneak attack on a flat stone slab
is completely bonkers, but
you found the weak point.
That's legendary action.
Save, and Plinth saves against the effect
that Brutus would've done
there in a legendary action.
Sid-
- [Emily] okay.
- [Brennan] You are back up.
Also, give me a death
save for Aurora Nebbins.
(Emily grunting)
- [Murph] That's cruel.
- Come on, baby.
Nat 20!
(Murph laughing)
- [Siobhan] Shut the fuck up!
Yes!
- Nat 20!
Nat fucking 20!
- Get outta here, get outta here!
(group cheering)
- Kiss it!
- Woo!
- Barry, you med pack, leap straight up.
Sid, as you leap back up-
- [Siobhan] Amazing.
- That's so sick.
- By the way,
I will say, too, you
lost your concentration,
but mirror image, I'm gonna rule,
you still have one duplicate left
because it's not a concentration.
I don't think it ends.
And you feel next to
you as you get back up,
you hear,
(Brennan grunting)
and feeling your hand moving, Aurora,
(Brennan snarls)
with one hit point,
full like Mononoke wolf,
like got some blood oozing
between her razor sharp teeth.
(Brennan grunting)
- Get him, baby.
- Both you and Aurora get turns.
- Ooh, okay!
- She's back up at one
at the start of her turn.
- No one make the corn guy mad.
- Can you get safe?
Can you go somewhere like
where you can basically-
- Yeah.
So, that's what I'm gonna do.
- Yeah, I would just get safe.
(Lou laughing)
I would just get safe.
- So I'm gonna cast,
using my action to cast
motivator boost on myself
to double my speed.
- Cool. So with the rocket
boots, you're going 60.
- Yeah.
So I'm using my speed to get
to one of these camera places.
From there, are these guys
within a 10 foot radius?
- Smaggy Squirrel
and Brobbin Bunny?
- Yeah.
- I do not believe they are
within 10 feet of each other.
- Okay.
Then I will throw a stun grenade at each.
- Okay, they're gonna make
constitution saving throws here.
- Come on, baby.
- The DC is 16
because you have your ideal manifested.
- Yep.
- Okay, stun is pretty fucking big deal.
- Technically unconscious.
- [Ally] Yeah.
- If they fail.
- [Ally] If they fail.
- Which means auto crits on attacks.
- Okay.
- I'm assuming rogues don't
usually stack up on con.
- That kind of system knowledge
can get you a long way in this game.
(group laughing)
We're bringing out the Box of Doom, folks.
(group laughing)
- For the folks at home so that you-
- Fuck yes, Emily.
- For you all to react at
home, I'm gonna let you know
what our highly dextrous Smaggy
Squirrel and Brobbin Bunny
add to their constitution saving throw.
This is what they add.
Here we go, let's roll these saves.
They're trying to beat a DC 16.
Meter beat 16.
(suspenseful music)
Two stun grenades.
Boom, boom!
At the last second,
Smaggy covers her eyes and goes,
Brobbin, watch out!
Brobbin goes, huh?
Boom!
And Brobbin goes prone
on the top of the Plinth.
Brobbin Bunny is stunned.
Smaggy makes her save.
- Okay.
So I have moved my character
to hide in one of these things,
and now Aurora Nebbins is
gonna go after the stunned one.
- Give me an acrobatics
check for Aurora Nebbins.
- Okay.
- And are you going to
a different camera thing than these guys?
- I think we should be on a different one.
- Yeah, definitely. Absolutely.
- Definitely, 'cause these
area effects are devastating.
- It's a nine.
- It's difficult terrain,
but she is gonna use a bonus action from-
- Yeah, she can, yeah.
- Give me one more acrobatics check.
You just gotta beat at DC
10 for her to get to that,
to get up to the Plinth
and grab the bunny.
- Okay.
- I got a 10.
- [Brennan] Got a 10 exactly!
- Okay.
- So you, she looks up and
goes, (Brennan grunting)
it's like,
Uh-oh, looks like someone needs to tell
that beautiful, royal blue mastiff
that's not a real bunny!
She doesn't seem to care, folks.
She looks hungry.
(Brennan shouting)
She reaches up, she can
go ahead and take attacks.
- Can I just have her drag it off?
- And throw it off the platform?
- And throw it off the podium?
- Oh, shit,
just pick it up and throw
the bunny off the platform?
- Yeah.
- You see, she looks hungry.
Do you give her the command?
Yeah.
- Yeah.
I say, take out the trash, baby.
(Ally laughing)
- All the cameras zoom in on you.
(lasers blasting)
Go ahead and gimme a free performance
with advantage here as well.
(group laughing)
- Okay, that's gonna be a...
21.
- A 21.
Take out the trash, baby.
Uh-oh, looks like we got
a little bit of sass here
from our resident Sundry Sidney.
Folks, she loves dogs and hates rabbits.
You see Aurora Nebbins picks
up and then looks at you
and like wiggles her butt.
- And I say, let's play fetch.
(Brennan roaring)
- You see, throws the bunny.
The bunny sails off the
side of of the dais.
- [Ally] Oh my God.
- And falls endlessly through space.
Folks, now that's what I
call a well-trained dog.
You can tell Aurora Nebbins
wanted to eat that bunny
and eat that bunny bad!
Hey, you're not wrong, Jimmy.
I have a dog
and I can't stop him from
attacking my neighbors.
(Emily laughing)
And you see,
first enemy, Brobbin
Bunny is off the field.
- Oh, I also have to roll my temp HP.
Ugh, got an eight.
But I also, I hide,
so I'm hoping to get some kind of cover.
- It is Plinth's turn.
- [Emily] 14, crap.
- Now, I've-
- [Murph] What does Plinth-
- Hidden, hopefully, but...
- First thing Plinth is gonna do
is gonna make a perception check.
- Okay.
- 26 on that hide, right?
- Plinth is going to gravitate,
taking an attack of opportunity here.
That is going to be
16 points of damage
from Brutus swinging with a reaction,
which does pass the damage threshold.
- [Emily] Oh, it does,
okay. Very good to know.
- So 16 damage, he goes (grunts) crack,
into the Plinth's side.
Uh-oh, here comes the
Triangle Mint Plinth.
Plinth is never in a rush,
and that's the kinda of
technique you love to see
from a completely inhuman obelisk, folks.
- Does Brutus seem to
bleed through his nose
when he hits him?
- He does.
So another four points
of damage to Brutus.
TaleSpire, from the center of Plinth,
can we measure a 30 foot radius sphere?
(Zac laughing)
- From the center of Plinth.
- Who is outside of that sphere right now?
Gunnie, are you outside of it?
- Mm-hmm.
- I am.
- So, Skip, Margaret,
Gunnie and Sid are all out.
Riva, Aurora Nebbins-
- God damn it.
- And you, I am going to
need wisdom saving throws-
- Damn it.
- [Brennan] From all of you.
- Okay, I do roll that with advantage.
- [Lou] Oh my God.
- 25.
- 12.
- Okay, defiant?
- No, he doesn't have defiant.
- Heads up, actually, that's
my version of defiant.
- Seven for Aurora.
- What does heads up do?
- You get to add a d6.
So I can a friendly
creature you can see or hear
makes a saving throw.
- I have a feeling this
is gonna get me anyway,
but let's try it.
Why not?
Do you wanna roll it?
You roll better than me.
A d6?
- Yeah, wait, what are you at?
- I'm at, what did I say, 12?
(suspenseful music)
- Five.
17?
- 17?
- 17 is not gonna do it.
- Yeah.
- Dammit.
That's okay.
- So Riva, you save
against this successfully.
- Yes.
- For Barry and Aurora,
Plinth floats to the
middle of the dais and-
(unnatural rumbling, roaring)
you see in your mind,
the black hole at the
center of this galaxy.
- Oh God.
- And you hear in a language,
as you begin to understand
the words of this language,
your eardrums and nostrils fill with blood
as Plinth says,
Return me
to the dying heart.
And your speed is reduced to zero,
you are under the frightened condition.
- [Murph] Dammit.
- [Brennan] As is Aurora Nebbins.
- Oh, I can help.
I can help with that.
- Okay, I say to everyone,
we need to get Barry outta there.
- I'm fine.
I think I'm just scared of-
- No,
we need to get you out of there.
- The Plinth.
- [Siobhan] I actually
got it, I can do it.
- Okay.
- This is- I have exactly
the thing that can happen.
And we can game time still in that.
- Okay.
- 'Cause that means I have a bonus action.
- [Emily] Great.
- And then it's you.
- [Lou] We can still game time.
- Awesome, great.
- No idea what game time is.
- Operation slippery puppet.
(Siobhan laughing)
- Operation slippery puppet.
- And then Plinth is
going to move straight up
to like underneath the Jumbotron.
- Oh fuck.
- Oh my God.
God dammit.
- He wants to get us all.
- Oh, and I have to roll for
Smaggy Squirrel as well.
- Yeah, I was gonna say,
what happens to Smaggy Squirrel?
- Smaggy rolls, succeeds
on her wisdom save.
Moving along in the initiative order,
that's gonna be Margaret.
- Okay, great.
Um, I am going to...
(Siobhan and Emily laughing)
I'm a polyglot.
Can I try to speak to the Plinth?
- Sure. You wanna speak to Plinth?
- I just wanna say, do
you want to be fighting?
- Plinth (cosmic music) enters
into the heart of your mind.
- I welcome it.
- You see it goes,
I
want
the all fight.
And you watch the explosion,
implosion and ending of the universe
in the consumption of ultimate entropy.
Looks like the Triangle
Mint Plinth out there
is having some kind of
psychic conversation
with Margaret Encino.
(Ally laughing)
- I blow a kiss to the
Plinth that it can't see.
And then I,
I think I'm just going to
throw a stun grenade at the bunny
who's on the little thing.
And my DC save is 14.
- Stun the bun.
- Okay.
- Stun the bun.
- Stun the bun.
- Stun the bun.
- Here we go,
actually this is, one-
Stun is very, very bad.
Here we go.
Adding the same amount.
(dramatic music)
Margaret, you hurl that grenade.
- Yeah, I think I'm gonna throw
it so hard and even hit it,
and I'm like, ah, and it's like, so weak.
- You lean over and throw this.
You are exactly within distance.
- Woo!
- And Smaggy Squirrel is stunned.
- [Murph] Nice.
- [Emily] Yes!
- So I lean over and I go...
(group laughing)
One of those awful throws.
- So awful.
- And then I'm gonna train my
critical analysis on Barry.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- Appreciate it.
- So I don't have to use any
of my reactions next round.
And then I am going to
hide.
(Ally laughing)
Is that a whole action?
- [Brennan] Hell yes.
- You can still get cover, though.
You can use your movement to get cover.
- Love it.
Yeah, I'll kind of scoot back a little bit
in our little nest, to the very end.
- Okay, you huddle back in.
You're over there.
- Can I roll to see if I think
that the Plinth should meet Gnosis?
(Brennan laughing)
- [Siobhan] Yes.
- Yeah.
- [Siobhan] They would hit it off.
- I think that Plinth wants to destroy-
- It was pretty low.
- Humanity.
- It was pretty low.
(Emily laughing)
- I think- It's pretty low?
You're like the Plinth is
one more problem than I need.
I don't need to figure out Plinth.
- We're done with the Plinth.
Thank you so much.
(Emily laughing)
- [Brennan] Okay.
- I wink at the corn, though.
Can I do that? I don't know
if they're looking at me,
but I'm just like-
- [Lou] Hey, Corn.
- It's good to have you on the team.
And I flash a contract at the corn.
(Ally and Emily laughing)
- [Brennan] Okay.
- Flash a contract?
- I go, you could be signing this.
- This stack?
You want in on this stack of papers?
- I tell the corn,
We all got a signing bonus.
(Ally laughing)
- Plinth, at the end of Margaret's turn,
is going to go for Margaret and Skip.
I'm going to need-
- It can see us?
- It doesn't need to.
I'm gonna need intelligence
saving throws from both of you.
- Jesus.
- Yikes.
- Ooh.
- Actually, they're both very smart.
- Pretty smart.
- So...
- [Emily] Come on.
- It doesn't need to see us at all?
(suspenseful music)
- What'd you roll?
- 24.
- 24?
(suspenseful music)
- [Siobhan] Come on, Margaret.
- It's a natural, so that's kind of cool.
- Oh no.
- Natural is all the rage these days.
- No!
- No additives, 'cause it's just a one.
- Cool, cool.
- We don't add anything to that.
- Okay.
- I could add a d4 to that, though,
so that's kind of cool.
(suspenseful music)
- That gave me a stomach ache.
- This makes me-
- [Brennan] 10.
- Upset.
- How many hit points do you have?
- [Siobhan] 30.
- 29 points of damage to Margaret.
(Ally gasping)
- Okay.
- Are you alive?
- Yeah.
- 'Cause of the Kublacaine?
- Yeah.
- [Brennan] 'Cause of the Kublacaine?
- I didn't do Kublacaine,
just 'cause of the inspiring speech.
- Okay, 29 points of damage to Margaret.
That's gonna be 14
points of damage to Skip.
- Uncanny dodge.
- [Brennan] This is
unfortunately not an attack.
It is a spell.
- Okay.
(Ally laughing)
- Okay!
- You take 14 points of psychic damage.
You spoke to Plinth,
and Plinth goes into your mind and goes,
Do you want to understand?
And you know that your eyes
have Plinth burned into them.
You see a dying sun with a
black rectangle in front of it
and it's all you can see,
burned into the front of your vision.
(Siobhan laughing)
Plinth is all.
And you have a minus 1d6
to all of your rolls.
- Okay.
- [Brennan] Brutus,
all by his lonesome down there, actually-
- Go for Plinth.
- Is gonna take some legendary actions,
sort of looking around.
- That squirrel is fucking available.
- Yeah, the squirrel's stunned.
- [Brennan] That's going to be
back to the top of the order.
Skip, that's you.
- I like kind of don't
care about the squirrel.
- [Emily] Yeah, right?
It's stunned right now, you're right.
- So it was able to do that
attack without seeing me.
Am I still hidden?
- You are still hidden.
It looks like it just knew psychically.
- Okay.
- Where, like,
it didn't need to, it's not an attack,
it was an area of effect.
- Okay, I am going to...
pop up, sneak attack on the Plinth.
- Yeah.
- [Brennan] Hell-
- [Murph] I think we
need to separate, too-
- Yeah, it's Plinth time!
- [Murph] Probably, if it can get to each-
- And I'm gonna move for sure.
- I think I can explode both
Plinth and the squirrel.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- Okay.
17, but then a supreme
accuracy roll again,
see if I crit.
Nat 20!
- Yes!
(group cheering)
- Yes!
- [Zac] Natural 20!
- [Emily] Yes, yes, yes!
- We're walking away millionaires!
- [Siobhan] Millionaires!
- This is how millionaires fight.
Om, nom, nom, nom.
Ooh, it tastes good.
- Margaret's nat one is
followed by six zeroes, baby.
- All I see is Plinth.
(group laughing)
- All right, that's a nat 20 on Plinth.
- So this is
eight d6.
- Oh my God.
Okay.
- 8d6 on Plinth?
- All right, you know,
does anyone wanna send
their kids to school?
- I'd love.
- Yeah!
- [Siobhan] Absolutely.
- [Emily] I would love
to send my kids to camp.
- Here's some kids for you.
- All right.
Oh, I'm gonna forego
two of them, actually,
to do a different thing.
- [Murph] Oh, I know what you're doing.
- Great.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- Yes.
Good idea.
- To do a-
Yeah, so, all right.
- I have a question for you, Brennan.
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm?
- Targeted strike,
when an ally makes an
attack against a creature,
use your reaction to
expend a superiority die,
then you add it to the damage.
If I have minus d6 to everything,
am I the one rolling that,
and therefore it negates the d6
or am I giving him a d6?
- You're giving it to him
and it would double on this attack.
- [Emily] And it would be a crit.
- Take two more, baby.
- [Brennan] So-
- So it is still eight d6,
but I, even though-
- Now you can do this
thing 'cause Margaret,
even though all Margaret
can see is Plinth,
Margaret knows that you-
- All I see is Plinth.
(group laughing)
Get Plinth.
- Right on.
- Keep Plinth.
Hold Plinth.
- Fuck! (Zac laughing)
- [Siobhan] That's a lot of ones.
- Okay.
12...
- Oh, you re-roll ones, though, right?
- I don't.
(group laughing)
- Yeah, that's actually one of, uh-
- [Emily] Your AC is 25, right?
- My abilities, so I can just-
- Yeah, my AC is 25 and I have
a million hit points left.
(Emily laughing)
And I've never seen Plinth.
(group laughing)
- 27
plus six.
- Hey, hell yeah.
- So that is 33 damage.
- 33 damage definitely
bypasses the threshold.
- Get Plinth!
- Now I'm going to drop off
of this platform straight down
and then try to hide
underneath the platform
of the center of the ring.
- Ooh, I love that.
- If you have the movement,
you can move and dash,
and like bonus action
dash to get under the ring
if you have the movement to get there.
- Okay, I'm just gonna jump to
a different camera operator.
- Cool, copy that.
- So I will roll that hide.
That is going to be a
27 to hide.
- 27 to hide.
- And I gotta roll my new temp HP.
It's two d4?
- [Ally] Mm-hmm.
- [Emily] Yeah.
(dice clattering)
- Six temporary HP.
- You also take four
points of psychic damage
when you attack.
- Okay, so that goes to my actual total?
- Actual HP, yeah.
Smaggy loses her turn
to the stun condition,
but she is no longer unconscious
because of ambient
psychic damage from Plinth
that wakes her up.
So she loses her turn,
but she is back up with
four less hit points.
And after Brobbin is dead,
(Lou laughing)
(Ally laughing)
Riva, that's gonna be your turn.
- I'm going to get my
Kublacaine hit points back.
That's four, so I'm up to
a big ol' nine hit points.
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm.
- I am going to run,
now, Sid, can you just make sure
that I'm in the right position?
I am gonna move to this plinth.
- [Murph] Cool, great.
- I am going to, bonus action,
go out of this psychodrone,
and into one of the
psychodrones that's hidden
in Barry's backpack.
- These are useful for, I think
if your body was destroyed.
This is effectively allowing you like
free teleportation around the battlefield
to be able to jump from body to body.
- But we paid 800 credits for it.
(Emily laughing)
- Let us do the cool thing, Brennan!
(group laughing)
- See, here's the problem.
You guys are adversarial to me,
and then I make rulings
because your secret plans
are against the rules of the game.
- No, our secret rules are good.
- See, yeah, your secret rules, exactly.
- I think it's okay.
I think you can cast calm emotions on him.
- Okay, then I'll get to there
and I will cast calm emotions.
- [Murph] Ooh, I appreciate you.
- [Siobhan] So I get
Aurora Nebbins and Barry
in that calm emotions.
- Ooh!
- [Brennan] Amazing, okay.
- And that, you should still roll
to see if you get out of the
feared condition on your turn
because it's a concentration spell.
- [Emily] Mmm.
- And when the power ends,
any suppressed effect resumes.
- Got it, okay.
- But you are now
essentially immune to being
charmed or frightened.
- [Murph] Cool.
- Any bonus actions from you?
- I mean, I would love to be able to
jump to this psychodrone,
but if you're not letting me-
- I'm not-
Having three bodies
that you can rapidly move
your consciousness around
is very, very good
and leads to all kinds of
shenanigans in future combats
that I don't wanna take part in.
- Exactly.
Exactly!
- No, no, no.
I know a bad deal when I see one.
No, thank you.
- Can't blame us for trying.
- I never knock the hustle.
I just make the rulings.
Lou, that's gonna you.
- Great.
I think Gunnie's gonna
appear from behind this
and just yell, "Get fucked, Plinth!"
(group laughing)
- Yes!
- And I'm gonna cast explosion on Plinth.
- Amazing.
Okay, we're gonna cast
explosion on Plinth.
- And you know what? Fuck it.
I'd love to have both
Plinth and Smiggly Squirrel
get fucked together.
- Okay, now here's the issue.
- [Lou] Okay.
- Explosion has the radius that it has,
so you show me where it's
going on the battlefield
that's not also hitting Riva,
Barry or Aurora Nebbins.
- Oh, great question.
- If you do it on just Plinth,
you can just do it super high, right?
- [Lou] Yeah.
- I think there's no way
you're not hitting Barry
because the Jumbotron means
you can't select a point
higher than that as the
center of the blast.
- Can't you go past it, though?
- You could pick a point past Plinth,
Pick a point past Plinth.
- Pick a point past Plinth.
- [Brennan] Just catching Plinth
in the edge of a blast radius
from like way farther out.
- Let's do that.
- Okay.
So you're like hurling way the fuck out.
Boom!
Plinth is gonna roll a
dexterity saving throw.
Here we go.
(rock music)
That is a failure.
- Yes!
- Plinth has bad dex.
- Plinth has bad dex!
- We love to watch Plinth fail.
Okay.
31 points of damage on Plinth.
- [Ally] Woo-ee!
- [Emily] Yeah!
- Nice. Nice.
- Okay, 31 points of damage on Plinth.
Folks, Plinth did not like that, I assume.
- [Emily] Woo.
- We got it.
We got this, we got this.
I'm gonna fly forward
so that I'm just on the
edge of the platform.
And I'm going to throw a
potent aptitude to Barry.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- [Ally] Nice.
- Cool, thank you.
- All right, so you are
hovering above the platform
like under the Jumbotron, correct?
- Yeah, I wanna look Plinth
square in his fucking eye.
(group laughing)
- Looks like Gunnie Miggles-Rashbax,
engineer of the squad,
looking for some kind of eye
to mean mug this obelisk.
(group laughing)
Better luck next time.
There are no discernible features
on this alien technology.
- I'm just gonna pick a point.
I'm just gonna pick a point.
There.
- You hit potent aptitude.
After your turn,
Brutus is going to weave
under there, moves forward.
We're gonna roll something
very important right now, actually.
- Ruh-roh.
- This is the recharge ability
for that venom breath we saw before.
- [Siobhan] Oh, God.
- [Lou] Mm-hmm.
- I'm gonna let you know right now,
on a five or a six,
the venom breath comes back.
- That's so bad.
- That's a four.
- Oh my God.
- [Brennan] Woo! Okay-
- Oh God, that was close.
- Oh, Plinth.
- Oh, Plinth!
Brutus, the corn brutie charges forward.
This first one is coming
for Aurora Nebbins.
What's Aurora Nebbins's
current armor class?
- 17!
(Zac laughing)
Uh, do they hit?
- They do.
- Hmm.
- [Ally] That's interesting.
- [Murph] Poker face.
- [Ally] Yeah.
- Let's see what the-
- [Siobhan] Do you wanna put
the other pair of sunglasses
on underneath?
- See how much damage they do.
- 26 points of damage to Aurora Nebbins.
- She had one hit point. She's down.
(group laughing)
- And then it's gonna take two attacks
on Riva's psychodrone.
- God damn.
It's actually fine, it's whatever.
- Yeah.
- [Brennan] Here we go...
- It's totally whatever.
- That's a hit.
28 points of damage to the psychodrone.
- So down.
- Ax comes down, (Brennan roars)
shatters this psychodrone.
One of the psychodrones on
you (blips) wakes back up.
Now I am going to ask
for some psychic saves,
as like Riva-
- Oh, yeah.
- [Brennan] Back on the ship.
- Look, I mean, look,
I think I'm still down.
I'm just not technically-
- [Brennan] Down, down.
- Dead.
- Yes, absolutely.
Yes, 100%.
You are, yes, you are
not permanently dead.
- So I've got zero hit points.
- You have a zero hit points Riva
on your back, exactly.
- [Murph] Right on.
- [Emily] We can work with that.
- And then you roll for like waking up
or getting more hit points?
- Yeah, if you have some
means of repairing droids,
that could bring you back.
- We should do that as
quickly as possible,
because, actually, my
concentration has just gone.
So, Gunnie and Aurora
are now frightened again.
- [Murph] Great.
- Okay, oh, Barry and Aurora
are now frightened, yes.
- Except that Aurora's down.
- Which I think ends the condition,
but I could be wrong.
- [Brennan] Okay, Barry,
that's gonna be you.
Yes, you are once again
frightened as Riva goes down.
- [Murph] Okay.
- Which means your speed
is still reduced to zero.
- That's fine.
I am frightened and I make
attacks with disadvantage.
Can I still shoot the
Plinth with disadvantage?
- You can still shoot the Plinth
with disadvantage, correct.
- Okay, well, let me ask you this.
I have this shield.
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm.
- Technically to doff it,
it takes an action.
If I'm willing to just like throw,
like object interaction,
just like if it rolls
off the fucking platform
and I lose 2000 credits that I'll,
that happens. Can I do that?
- Cool.
Yes, you can do that.
- Cool, sunglasses on.
So scared underneath,
drop the shield,
pull out the rotary cannon.
I'm going to rapid shot on the Plinth.
- Yeah.
- [Brennan] Ooh.
- To get around the disadvantage.
- Oh ho ho!
- [Siobhan] Nice.
- Copy that.
Go ahead, as you're about
to throw the shield away,
give me a performance check.
(Murph laughing)
- [Lou] Let's go.
- Let's go. Let's freaking go.
- Performance, 14.
- You toss the shield up into the air.
As you do, the shield passes
in front of one of the cameras
with the Acme-Ashmun
logo emblazoned on it.
(Murph laughing)
And they go,
Whoa, little bit of spot product
here in the middle of the fight, folks.
The Acme-Ashmun team knows
how to put on a show.
- Wow.
- We are gonna go ahead and roll
the dexterity saving-
- I love you, Barry.
I love you, Plinth.
(group laughing)
- Fails the save.
- Nice, Barry.
- [Lou] Plinth is done.
- Oh, can I have my children back from-
- [Emily] Oh, yeah.
- Yes.
- [Murph] They went on a field trip.
- [Emily] Kids back from camp.
- These two?
- I need my kids back from camp.
Thank you so much.
- And remember, you need to
beat that damage threshold
to do damage at all.
- [Emily] Yeah.
(suspenseful music)
- Love.
Love that.
Love that face on Barry.
- Man, these shades are rad as hell.
- They're perfect Barry shades.
- [Siobhan] Yeah.
- 27 damage.
(Zac gasping)
- [Siobhan] Nice, nice.
- And then I'm going to rapid shot again
on my second attack.
- Jesus.
- [Emily] Yeah.
- [Lou] Let's go, Barry.
- That's another failed save.
- [Siobhan] Yes-ah!
- Yeah!
- [Zac] What kind of save is that?
- [Siobhan] Fuck up this Plinth!
- Dex.
- [Ally] Wow.
- Bypassing this thing's
armor class is huge.
- 28 damage.
- Jesus Christ.
- Dope, dope, dope, dope.
- We don't even need
operation slippery puppet.
- You guys see,
Barry, as Plinth is right in front of you,
with the frightened condition on you,
which as you know,
would give you disadvantage
on attack rolls,
but this is not attack rolls.
You-
(lasers blasting)
you guys see Plinth riddled with cracks.
Oh my goodness!
Mother Void, do you believe in miracles?
The unkillable Plinth is
riddled with cracks, folks.
I'll tell you what,
if the contractors who worked on my condo
had to come do this work,
that'd be a pretty penny
to repair that, Jimmy.
Right you are, Chip.
Holy smokes, folks.
Are we gonna have an upset?
Plinth is looking bad.
- Sid, is it your turn?
- Yeah, it is.
- [Brennan] It is Sid's turn.
- I wish I had sunglasses-
- [Siobhan] Oh, I know.
- For this slippery puppet moment.
- Okay, so Barry, where are you on this?
- I'm, uh-
yo, if you have to fuck me up, fuck me up.
- No, I'm not going to.
- Do I look like I have a Miata?
- Okay.
- Yes.
- What I'm going to do
is I'm gonna use my action
to get back on the stage.
This is gonna be my last turn.
There's no way I survive after this,
so I just look around and I say,
It's been nice knowing all of you.
I'm gonna bonus action
med pack Aurora Nebbins.
- [Brennan] Incredible.
Aurora Nebbins, miraculously back up.
- Ooh!
- So, she gets some hit points
and I'm going to use her
to basically throw Riva up to the Plinth.
(group laughing)
- [Brennan] Throw- okay, Riva.
- Basically, I need to get Riva
like 10 feet closer to the Plinth.
- Riva's old body, or?
- Riva's old body.
- [Lou] Riva's old body.
- Copy that.
Cool, yes, yes, yes, gotcha.
- So, Aurora will do that,
throw it 10 feet closer,
so that I can use a 15 foot cone
from Riva's old body
onto the Plinth.
- Okay?
- And then I take out the remote detonator
that I bought for full price at Plug's,
and I unleash
something called a charge fragmentation,
a device used to blow holes
in larger constructs and structures.
This is what I spent a minute
installing into Riva's old drone.
- Am I getting Ocean's-ed 11-ed
on my own fucking show?
What the fuck is happening?
- We read the book, Brennan.
And by we, I mean just Emily.
Emily read the book.
- Do you wanna know more?
Do you wanna know more, Brennan?
When detonated,
the breaching charge
explodes in a 15 foot cone.
Each creature within the
cone must make a DC 14,
16 for me, dexterity saving throw,
taking 20d4 kinetic
damage on a failed save.
Objects, structures and other surfaces
have disadvantage to the saving throw.
- Oh my God.
- How did you know there'd
be a Plinth in this fight?
(group laughing)
Jesus, I'm fucking ruined.
(group laughing)
Every-
- Riva's old body just goes flying.
- Everyone send your kids to camp.
Everyone start sending d4s.
20 d4?
(Emily laughing)
- Oh, you do need to roll, though,
because if you get a nat one,
it actually takes max damage
because of my explosives mastery.
- I'll roll in front of the
board just to keep it honest.
Here's disadvantage in front of the board.
Okay.
- Okay.
- Oh, I thought that was,
okay, so it failed.
That's a fail.
- [Zac] How many more do you need?
Do you need any?
- [Lou] We're gonna murder Plinth.
- I'll roll them maybe-
- Do you need more d4s?
- 10 at a time.
One, two, three, four.
- [Siobhan] Great.
- Five, six.
- God, operation slippery
puppet is insane.
(group laughing)
- I didn't know you guys were doing this.
- You gotta read the texts, Murph.
- Oh!
- Okay,
20...
22.
It did fail.
- My kids were rolling really
great at camp, actually.
- 44 damage
to the Plinth.
- Give me a performance with advantage.
(giddy giggling)
- [Zac] Just a pit of spikes and d4s.
- Already a 19 on one of them, so...
22.
- You land.
Med pack.
You see the crowd-
just med packing Andora Nebbins,
the crowd goes fucking nuts.
We're not gonna let the
doggy die today, Chip.
No, we are not.
They'll put you in jail for that, Jimmy.
You see that Aurora
Nebbins grabs the droid.
Time slows down, crowd going nuts.
You see a group of little, green uniformed
Galactic Girl Guides kind
of chewing on their fingers.
They know something's up in this moment.
Aurora bound,
jumps from one to the other.
Plinth rotates.
It is Plinth's turn next,
and a fifth level psychic
power is coming all of your way
on Plinth's turn.
You hear Jimmy The Snout in
the commentator's box go,
Chip, it looks like a
bit of bad strategy here.
I think the team's android
thinks that the psychic's mind
is still in the old droid-
Oh my God!
Do you believe it?
In the droid's body, there's a thermal-
(rapid beeping)
(explosions roaring)
In all of the explosive ruptures
from Gunnie's fireball
in the riddled cracks
from the rotary cannon,
the detonator made to
destroyed structures,
you- Margaret, in your mind, you hear,
Go.
- Plinth?
(group laughing)
- The prophecy...
(thunderous explosion)
Folks, a priceless artifact
and real son of a bitch is no more!
The Acme-Ashmun Gunner Channel
has done the impossible today!
- Yes!
- Plinth is destroyed!
Boom!
- We still got Brutus.
Brutus is tough.
- [Siobhan] Brutus is tough.
- And instead of using my
reaction to throw a grenade-
- Real quick, everyone
within 20 feet of Plinth,
which I believe is gonna
just be Aurora Nebbins,
Barry and Riva's new body with zero,
you're gonna auto-fail this.
So it's gonna be one
death save fail for Riva,
and Aurora's gonna take
half, no matter what.
So Aurora's just gonna
go down to zero again.
Barry, gimme an intelligence saving throw.
- Ooh.
Natural 17.
That's a 17.
- As Plinth explodes in psychic energy,
you are going to take,
it's gonna bypass your rage, too.
- Oh, you're on my critical analysis.
- Does that?
- So you add five.
- So 22.
- 22 makes the save, baby.
- Oh!
- 20 halved to 10 points of damage.
- Great, thank you.
- [Ally] Woo!
- 10 psychic damage, boom!
Crowd going nuts.
You see a bunch of Galactic Girl Guides
ripping up their tickets
and throwing them,
stomping out in the audience.
At the end of your turn-
- Did Brutus get hit by the Plinth?
- [Siobhan] Yeah, Brutus
and the squirrel were both-
- Did Brutus and the squirrel
get hit with the psychic damage?
- Oh yes, they did.
They both got hit with the psychic blast.
Brutus fully makes it.
So Brutus is just gonna take
10 points of psychic damage.
- [Murph] Okay.
(Zac laughing)
- Smaggy is gonna go ahead
and take the full 20.
Legendary action.
(synthesizer music)
- Okay.
- End of that turn.
Brutus kicks Aurora Nebbins off the dais.
(Emily gasping)
- [Siobhan] Fuck.
- Uh-oh, looks like that corn construct
is tired of that dog popping back up.
- I'm sorry, I didn't mean
to say the amount of money
we were gonna make.
- [Brennan] Margaret.
- What the hell do I do?
- [Brennan] That's gonna be you.
- Um...
I have one hit point,
and I am a leader,
but I also need to snort some
Kublacaine with my action.
So I just kind of sheepishly reach in
and snort some Kublacaine.
And then I just hold onto the ankles
of the camera person nearest me.
- Looks down.
You see the camera guy,
all the camera people are fine.
They have weird like psychic earplugs in,
like, that Plinth is a doozy, huh?
(Ally laughing) As you're
going in for the bump,
you see the camera wheels around it says,
All right, modern
businesswoman, Margaret Encino
doing a quick bump mid-combat.
- Absolutely not, absolutely not.
They do not record that.
- It's part of our deal.
- But you're-
- I have colleagues to worry about.
- [Brennan] Amazing, okay.
- We're your colleagues.
- Different, hot colleagues, okay.
- Amazing.
- Oh.
- [Brennan] Okay, so that's your action.
Any bonus actions from Margaret?
- My critical analysis
is going to move to...
So, it goes to-
- I'm probably gonna get
knocked off this thing.
- Oh yeah, maybe, okay, yeah.
I'll give it to Sid.
I go, Sid, you can't see me,
but you're doing a great job.
(Emily laughing)
And I'm just holding
onto someone's ankles.
- [Brennan] Incredible.
Margaret-
- [Ally] So close to their shoe.
- [Brennan] Back to the top, that's Skip.
- Skip, having hidden up there,
would like to take a sneak attack shot on,
what's his name?
The- Brutus.
- Ooh.
- Hell, yeah, go for it.
- 28.
- 28 for Brutus?
- [Zac] To hit.
- 28 hits Brutus.
- Okay.
And so this will be a priming attack.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- I'll do targeted strike.
- [Zac] So it's a-
- Six, baby.
You add six to whatever this
damage roll is.
- [Zac] Oh, cool.
I'm taking away two d6.
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm.
- And so it's just...
five, six...
17 damage.
- 17 damage to Brutus.
- And I will say that
they have to make a wisdom saving throw
for the priming attack.
16 is the DC.
- Succeeds on the wisdom saving throw.
- [Murph] Damn.
- Aw, fuck!
- This guy is weirdly wise.
- I forgot to do the
angle perception thing.
God dammit.
- That's all right, you-
pew, take another shot.
Hits Brutus.
He's looking fine, gang.
That's gonna be Smaggy Squirrel.
- [Zac] Oh, can I bonus
section hide real fast?
- Yeah, go for it.
(synthesizer music)
- That's gonna be a...
16.
- A 16?
- [Zac] Yeah.
- Cool, Brutus does not see you.
Smaggy absolutely does.
- Now is Smaggy actually a squirrel,
or is this like a furry situation?
- This is an android situation.
- Okay.
- It can both.
(Ally laughing)
- So you go to hide and you hear,
Uh-oh, they've been down
for most of the match,
but it looks like Uncle's
Bob's Fantanimal Land
is back in it.
Someone likes to show
that they can climb, too.
And you look up and see that
Smaggy has bounded up to your chamber.
- I forgot to roll my d4s
last turn for temp HP.
- Oh, yeah, go ahead and roll them.
(synthesizer music)
(dice rolling)
- Three.
- Gotcha.
And hits you for 23 points of damage.
- Uncanny dodge.
- [Siobhan] Ooh.
- Halved to
11 points of damage.
(Smaggy chittering)
Boom.
That is Smaggy, and she used
her bonus action to hide there,
so she is not hidden now.
She's fully visible up
on top of that structure.
- Oh, bonus action to leap up there?
- [Brennan] Yeah, she used
her bonus action, exactly.
Gunnie, it's gonna be you.
- Great, I fly forward.
I'm gonna repair droid on-
- Wait-
- [Emily] Riva?
- You might actually not need to.
Let me double check with Brennan
before you use a turn to do this.
- Okay, great.
- The language of Kublacaine
says that I regain two d4 hit points
at the beginning of every turn.
- Temp HP don't get you back up to one.
- Yeah.
- Great.
- Great.
- Repair droid.
- [Emily] Okay, awesome.
- Thank you so much.
- [Emily] Oh, that's so good.
- Great.
- You understand why I couldn't have
repaired droid you?
- That's a cool.
- Absolutely.
We needed to do
exactly what happened.
- Eight hit points
to Riva's new drone.
- [Emily] Yes.
- Thank you so much.
- Do some quick mechanics work on that.
Then I'm gonna pull back,
kind of still at the
same height that I'm at.
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm.
- And just yell down to Brutus,
Hey!
Oh- Over here, asshole!
And I'm gonna chuck two
sabotage charges at him.
Two dexterity saving throws.
- Woo!
- It's just two d6.
- Okay.
Roll the damage separately,
'cause he makes one
save and fails another.
- So the first one's an eight.
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm.
- Uh, that's off the table.
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm.
- The second one's a 10.
- Boom, boom.
As the fire erupts,
it is now his turn again.
We're gonna roll in front
of the board once more,
five or six, he gets
his breath weapon back.
(die clatters)
That's a five.
- Fuck.
- I'm gonna need
constitution saving throws
from Gunnie, Norman,
and I'll make one for
Smaggy Squirrel, as well.
- Do we get any cover or anything?
- Unfortunately, no, because it's a gas
that's like filling up the area.
- Constitution saves.
So I get to do this with d4
because of-
- [Siobhan] Yes.
- Kublacaine?
- [Siobhan] The Kublacaine.
- Fuck.
- Ooh, that was rough.
That was a rough throw.
(suspenseful music)
- Okay.
What did we get here?
- 10.
- [Brennan] 10.
- 22.
- [Brennan] 22.
Gunnie makes the save.
- God.
- [Brennan] 62 points of damage.
Skip is down.
Maggie squirrel also down.
- Gunnie's still standing.
Still standing, still strong.
It's Brutus and us.
- [Brennan] Brutus and us.
- [Ally] So Smaggy, she's down?
- [Brennan] In the final, the
way it was supposed to be.
- Yeah.
- I wanna see you
in the final.
- Brutus, I don't like
that you threw the dog
off the pedestal,
but other than that-
- [Siobhan] I can give
him disadvantage, though.
- And, you know, also killing my friends.
- [Zac] Yeah.
- You stuck to your word.
- He's so close to the edge.
- And he moves to be within
swat distance of Sid.
Barry,
or it's you guys are actually
on the same initiative
so you can choose what order
you want to go in, but.
- [Emily] What I want to
do more than anything-
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm.
- Is bonus action med pack my dude,
reaction throw stun grenade at the dude
and then use my motivator extra speed
to get underneath Aurora
Nebbins so that next turn,
I can cast enhance ability and
double my carrying capacity
to catch Aurora Nebbins.
- What is the range on your med pack?
- It is, uh,
60 feet.
- Does it mention anything
about line of sight
on the med pack ability?
- Creature of your choice
that you can see within range.
- I can get him.
- You can get him?
- It won't be before his turn.
- He doesn't have any death saves, though.
- Can I do a perception
check to try to see him?
- There's no possible,
because he's in that crow's nest.
There's no way for you to see
him without getting above him.
- I really, I tried.
Okay, I don't know where you are.
I really wanted to heal you,
but I just can't see ya.
- Right on.
- Can I use my bonus action
right now to try and stun him?
- Try and stun Brutus?
- [Emily] Yeah.
- You use your bonus action
to try and stun him, yeah.
- Actually, I think that
doesn't do any good,
'cause I have have advantage.
- He would auto feel strength saves.
- Oh, yes, that would be
really helpful for me.
- I mean, that's fucking huge.
- So I'm gonna just spike a stun at him.
- Through his legs.
- Yeah, just like fucking
nick off a kernel.
- You throw a stun grenade at him.
And I will use the lingo of
the game we are all playing,
burns through his first
legendary resistance.
- First?
- Dammit.
- Oh, okay.
- You see that Vercadian programming just-
- I think I gotta save
my reaction to shield
if he actually hits me.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- So I just gotta be
like, all right, peace!
And then I'm gonna use my motivator boost
to try to get down underneath Aurora.
- You do motivator boost.
You fall back. He's gonna
take a swing at you.
- Okay.
- What's your current armor class?
- My current armor class is 18,
but I do have a mirror image up.
- Give me the roll from your image.
- [Murph] Come on.
- [Siobhan] Come on.
- I didn't get it.
- Okay, so it bypasses to you.
- Okay, shield.
- Misses.
- Oh, okay!
- [Siobhan] Oh, God.
(Emily sighing)
- You even hear,
Oh no, it looks like the android's
off the side of the platform, folks!
It looks like Brutus knocked you off.
You go down.
- And then I'm gonna
drop the concentration
from motivator boost to
cast enhance droid on myself
to double my carrying capacity.
- This ax comes up, hits your shield,
sends you off
and your motivator boost dies,
and you see those like engines
come off in you and you hear,
Oh God, it looks like Brutus
took out the motivator boost.
That's a direct- What is that?
No, it's a different engine coming online.
And your rocket boosts hit.
You go up and the crowd looks down.
We can't see her,
get a camera!
Get a camera on Sundry Sidney!
Folks!
Boom.
You get under, and like
Superman, these roller skates,
white-hot roller skates,
with twin jets of flame
as you Superman this enormous, spined dog.
As it comes above the lip of the dais,
(Brennan heaves)
Folks, Sundry Sidney has saved the dog!
(crowd cheering)
The crowd goes fucking nuts.
People are punching each
other in the stands,
just losing their minds.
- Nothing comes between a
mother and her daughter.
- Folks, this droid can do anything,
and this fight's not over yet!
Tune in next week for
the thrilling conclusion
(Emily screaming)
of the Battle of the Brands
here at the Kubla-Cola Gladiatorial Arena!
Brutus versus the
Acme-Ashmun Gunner Channel.
See you then.
- I'm so excited.
(group laughing)
- How much damage would I take
if I just kind of dropped out
of my nest onto the ground?
- How many hit points you got?
- I got eight hit points.
- Why would you, like,
don't you have a gun?
- Oh, stop.
He wants this to happen.
- What are you gonna do down there?
- Statistically,
you would stay up.
- You would stay up.
- Let's do it.
- It's hard to roll a 14 with 3d6.
(Emily laughing)
- This is the sensible Beardsley season.
- So, Margaret, you leap
from the crow's nest.
- Leap?
No, I fall.
- Uh-oh, looks like Margaret
Encino, business manager,
has taken a tumble out of the camera nest.
- I go right up to it and I go,
You fucking suck.
- Hello, one and all!
Welcome back to another thrilling
episode of Dimension 20:
A Starstruck Odyssey.
I'm your humble dungeon
master, Brennan Lee Mulligan,
with me as always are our intrepid heroes!
Say hi, intrepid heroes.
- Hi, intrepid heroes.
- What's up?
- Everyone dressed up.
- I don't know what you're talking about.
I've been looking like this-
- These are my real clothes.
- For the past couple weeks.
- [Brennan] The important thing
is everyone's wearing their normal clothes
and that we return to
find our intrepid heroes-
- It's normal.
- [Brennan] It's normal.
- This is super normal, everybody.
- This is who I am.
- It is fight night here at the Kubla-Cola
Gladiatorial Arena in Mas Vegas, Lavada,
and the brand new champions for
the Acme-Ashmun Corporation.
Last we left off,
the Wurst was hanging in
space in the neutral zone,
having just fled from the Griivarr Worlds.
(group laughing)
You awakened the planetary
supercomputer's holofract,
Gnosis, reuniting it with its origin
in a piece of Terran hardware
and having it speak to you
about what it should do
in a galaxy full of people
that want to take advantage of it.
After speaking with the Princeps Zortch
and The Gunner Channel,
Gnosis arrived at some kind of plan
to perhaps save the people of Rubian V
from the ravages of
United Free Trade Planets,
maybe do something about
other galactic problems,
who knows, debt super computing,
and find a way of dispersing itself,
because Gnosis acknowledged
that as long as it exists,
people will seek after it.
All of you use the time
before Gnosis was developing
some sort of scheme,
which is theoretically still developing
here on the last Malton unit
of that four Malton unit period of time.
You contacted Auma Liu
on the planet Onolo Dos,
where she told you that
she still had the trademark
for Sundry Sidney.
You reached out to U4F and
talked to your union rep,
Ife Amari-Reyes,
who said that she'd be happy to process
your union membership
as long as you also agreed
to become a facilities den
for a group of Galactic Girl Guides.
You discovered that Jan De La Vega
is a fellow union member-
- Woo!
- In the Federation.
Oh, you reached out, and then
of course, to Dora Valentine,
your former professor,
who now works at the
Acme-Ashmun Corporation
and who processed your sponsorship,
saying, if you can,
there is a 1.2 billion credit fight purse
at The Battle of the Brands.
- Transfer it to our account now.
- [Lou] Yeah.
(group laughing)
- I'm gonna level with you,
audience watching at home.
I have never been less certain
of a PC victory in my life
as we head to The Battle of the Brands.
But the good news is even if we don't win,
you still get a 10.000
credit signing bonus each
as well as brand new
Acme-Ashmun force shields
as long as you survive the fight.
- Quick question on the paperwork.
- [Brennan] Yes.
- If Gunnie gets super injured
and his parts get trashed,
are they replaced by
Acme-Ashmun after this fight?
- Gimme a finance check real quick.
- Margaret would've made
an airtight contract.
- I would've made an airtight contract.
- Let's find out how airtight.
- As tight as my ponytail right now.
- Murph's eyebrow's are
almost into his hairline.
- [Ally] Do you wanna know that number?
- [Brennan] Yeah, what's that number?
- 28.
- [Brennan] 28?
- Let him know that number.
Let him know that number!
- Incredible, incredible.
Yes, at this point,
should you need,
much like they're supplying
you force shields,
they are not replacing your parts,
but should you need replacements,
they will be providing them
as part of the sponsorship.
However, I will point out
there are some pretty hefty
brand stipulations in here.
Number one, you need to have
a big, ol' Acme-Ashmun logo
on the side of your spaceship,
which is not unusual,
because you are gonna
have the shields out there
on the side of the ship.
- [Lou] Yeah.
- But you also need to comport yourselves
as brand ambassadors for Acme-Ashmun.
Now the, so-
- There was a lifestyle contract in there?
(group laughing)
- [Brennan] Now, the lifestyle-
- Yeah, what exactly?
- Now the lifestyle contract
is not what it would be
if you were working in the
children's entertainment division
at Griivarr Enterprises.
Acme-Ashmun is a military company.
They make like cybernetics
and like force shield technology,
so it's not about looking wholesome.
It's about looking competent.
- [Emily] Right.
- You need to comport
yourself in such a way
that you make the brand look good.
- Is there a clause on drugs?
- Yeah, can we do drugs?
- Give me one more finance check.
- I mean, the answer's yeah, right?
Everyone in World War II was like on meth.
Nat 20.
(group laughing)
- You are required to do
a certain amount of drugs.
(group applauding)
- Yes!
- Yes!
- Drugs!
- Drugs!
- There is no loser in this equation.
- Exactly.
- No, not us, not our bodies.
- Nobody loses.
- Nobody loses,
they get people, they
get quick-working cogs,
- It's a win-win.
- You actually see that basically,
within your contract it becomes clear,
Acme-Ashmun's former-
the android that it had going
to the Battle of the Brands,
and also its former sponsorship was
in a very outmoded cycle of AnarchEra
where they were trying to
pursue big faction contracts.
And basically they are
pivoting their strategy
to appeal to the
ever-widening Proldier market.
That's where they feel the
real money can be made.
- [Group] Oh.
- As sort of moving from private
contracts into retail, so-
- I mean, we are the Proldiers.
We're the cover babies.
- [Siobhan] The gig economy.
Mercenary life.
- There you go, exactly.
- Do we know who that
android was that got broken?
What was the model?
- That would've been Wiley
Wes, the Acme-Ashmun android.
- Thank you.
- [Brennan] So-
- What's the fate of Wiley Wes?
- Wiley Wes was badly injured
and has been taken outta commission.
- Oh, wow.
- Full, the line is totally gone?
- Wiley is the name given
to this particular
Vercadian protector droid.
- Oh, it is.
I thought it would be a
Vercadian protector droid.
- But there was only one of
them and there's six of us.
And so, you know.
- The Wurst hovers down.
You can signaled on your comms.
You can see you are actually
in a comms deadening bubble,
sort of like a sort of
globe of invulnerability
where it's blocking other things.
And you get hailed
from one of your security
officers coming in.
(intercom beeping)
Uh, hi, this is Ross.
I'm one of the pilots here
for your Acme-Ashmun security detail,
letting you know that we're aware
that there are certain factional elements
in pursuit of you.
So we've gone ahead and
done you the courtesy
of killing your comms
and sort of deadening
your call sign on arrival.
I wanted to talk to you real quick.
I got a message from Dora Valentine.
In terms of your exit strategy,
because our understanding is
that you are highly wanted
by a number of powerful factions
and that this fight will be airing live
across various rec station channels.
- Yeah.
Ross, was it?
- Yeah.
- Okay, great.
Yeah, we were hoping that
maybe you could fabricate
a hot dog ship that looks much like ours
and send it the opposite direction.
- Okay.
- Of where we need to
go at the end of this.
- [Brennan] Copy that.
- That will blow up.
(group laughing)
That will blow up 20 minutes away.
- Maybe sort of like a
blimp filled with grenades.
- Mm-hmm.
Grenade... blimp.
- If you can do that, Ross.
- [Brennan] Got it, yeah, absolutely.
- Great.
I send you like the dimensions
of our ship or something,
like a little schematic?
- He says, Great.
So this is a discontinued
Amercadian mess freighter?
Yeah, we can absolutely try.
- Thank you so much, Ross,
we really appreciate working with you.
(group laughing)
- The look down.
The look down while finishing-
- [Zac] Thank you so much.
- Already moved on.
- Thank you so much.
- When Ross departs,
can I have like a word
with Margaret and everyone?
- Yeah, absolutely.
You're on the bridge.
So right now, you are
descending into the lava planet.
As you do, you see this
planet is hell itself.
It is a roiling magma ball.
And as you start coming
in through the atmosphere,
just choking smoke and ash,
you come through a layer of the smoke,
see radiating heat waves.
And on this little platform,
just sort of like bright, palm green
and like, again, like
sort of swimming pool,
that like chlorinated, teal blue,
this little, floating paradise platform
floating over the lava
by about like 18 miles.
- Is it heaven or Mas Vegas?
- Is it heaven or Mas Vegas? Exactly.
Tons of beautiful lights, incredible-
Everything is gold and marble
and palm trees and water.
You see that the platform has, clearly,
some kind of force shield underneath it,
protecting it from the
incredible heat of the planet
that it is on.
And tons of water
is just spilling off
the sides of Mas Vegas,
hitting the force shield,
immediately evaporating
and creating this kind
of like steam bubble.
So the edges of the city,
as you lower into it,
are just towering columns of steam...
roaring up.
So you seem to be sort
of like encased in mist,
but can see a sort of
like light pollution,
like the light of the city
hitting the walls of steam
and commingling with like
the choking smoke overhead.
As you land on this platform,
you can go ahead and have this
conversation on the bridge.
- I have a slight concern
that it's possible
that we could be being set up.
- Oh, yeah.
- So that someone,
I mean, there's no reason
that Acme-Ash wouldn't want-
So I was kind of thinking
we should get that under wraps somehow
and maybe make sure
that the security detail
is not on our ship
and maybe try and park close enough
that Riva can go back into the ship
if she needs.
- Great.
Yeah, let's take all of those precautions.
That's a great idea.
- Right?
- That's a good idea.
- [Brennan] Amazing.
- Put a blanket on Gnosis or something?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- A few extra coffee cups, so-
- Yeah, yeah, definitely.
- So it's just super like, that's a table.
- [Ally] A stack of mail, yeah.
- Maybe a sign on the
bathroom that's like,
(group laughing)
and like, Gnosis sits in there.
- Okay, so like, yeah, let's
put Gnosis in the bathroom.
- [Murph] In the bathroom.
- Let's make the bathroom smell awful,
put Gnosis in there.
- Do not go in there!
(group laughing)
- You take some precautions
to hide Gnosis on the ship.
Zortch and Raymond Zam agree
to watch out for this place.
Zortch just like parks it.
They go like,
I'm gonna park it on the bridge with a gun
in case anyone shows up
and tries to do anything with the ship.
- Damn, Zortch.
- I,
(group laughing)
I'm here, I'm ready, okay?
I am ready.
Aurora Nebbins- (snarls)
- Yeah, should we bring
Aurora to the fight?
- I think she would be
very valuable to us.
- Okay.
Okay, I'm just like feeling
like there's probably gonna be
some psychics who maybe distort her mind
to then attack us.
- Well a lot of psychics can't-
- Because she's so sweet.
- She's so sweet.
A lot of psychics-
- She's really sweet.
- A certain level of-
- She's a beautiful dog.
- Oh, she's beautiful.
- Of wisdom or intelligence
cannot affect you
because you have no idea what's going on.
- She's got a minus four to
intelligence, so hopefully.
- A minus four?
- All right, we'll bring her then.
- [Lou] Yeah.
- Aurora?
(Brennan snarling)
I rip off a terrapin leg.
- Oh my God, why?
Why?
- Feed the whole thing!
Just feed the whole thing!
- I've gotten so used-
Barry so quickly mercy kills it.
It's like in tandem,
whenever we're in the gunner
thing and she feeds it,
I shoot it in the head as soon
as the leg is gonna go off.
(group laughing)
- I don't like doing this,
but ultimately this is,
I am the angel of mercy.
- You guys see the ramp extends down.
The Jib Jobbers all get ready
to go home for the night,
sort of waves.
- [Zac] Angel of mercy...
- You see a bunch of new Jib
Jobbers come aboard, as well.
- Hi, welcome.
- I shake each of their hands.
- Hey, nice to meet you, nice to meet you.
- It's great to meet you.
- As they do, you guys see, again,
some representatives
from Acme-Ashmun show up.
They say, alright, well,
check-in at the fight
is in about a Marbec and a half,
but is there anything that
you'd like to do prior to,
you wanna be taken to your suite,
taken to the locker room, get ready?
Whatever it is you wanna do.
- I might need to stop
by a store really quick.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, we gotta pick up some stuff.
- Munitions, we need to pick up.
- I think we wanna do a little shopping
and also if there's some sort of,
you know, bar where
folks like us hang out.
- Yeah.
- The cool people.
- Yeah, we wanna go to like
wherever the seediest den is.
- I'm gonna say you do
not have enough time
to use any background features.
- Cool.
- Then just a store, thank you.
- We'll just go to a store.
- We'll just go to a store.
- I don't suppose you have any information
on the other teams that we're
competing against, do you?
- Yeah, that's what I was
kind of curious about.
- Yes, I mean-
- They're probably pretty famous, right?
- I'm assuming there's talk of like-
- Yeah, people.
- I mean, of course,
we're the new hot shots, but you know,
I'm assuming there's,
you know, scuttlebutt.
- Absolutely.
We can give you all a rundown on that.
We actually have a whole schematic
that we're gonna be
able to run for you guys
to sort of break down
the opponents for you
when we arrive at the hotel.
- That's a PowerPoint, yeah.
- Great.
And then, what is this-
How long does this go for?
- The last one lasted about...
30 seconds.
- Great.
- Right on.
- [Emily] Thank you.
- You guys are driven
in this long limousine
through the streets of Mas Vegas.
- Are there drinks in the back?
Is there shots?
- [Brennan] Oh, yeah,
you see there's some drinks in the back.
- Put it in my gun first!
- You guys pass by a number of famous,
you see the Midas,
the Nero,
the Andalusian,
all these incredible, famous casinos.
You look out in front of them.
A bunch of the outsides of
the casinos are populated
with Running In Place parlors.
You know that Running In Place
is a business that allows
you to enter this pod
and sell years off your life.
It's sort of a life extension thing-
- Oh God.
- Where you can go, like
if you pay a lot of money,
you can go get your life extended
but if you wanna make money,
you can sell years off your own life.
You see a lot of them are placed
immediately outside the doors of casinos.
- Oh.
- Oh God, that is so wrong.
- R.I.P.
- Yeah, Viva Mas-
- Running In Place.
- Running In Place. R.I.P.
(Emily laughing)
Viva Mas Vegas.
- That'll never happen to me.
- Yeah.
- I know when to stop.
- Yeah, our whole group really famously-
- Really famously knows.
- I was gonna do one of those.
I was gonna do one of those ones.
- Gunnie's just sprinting.
(group laughing)
- You see a little sort
of comm on your news
as you're going to the weapons store.
This is Rootersnoos Ferret,
Jimmy The Snout live,
coming to you from Madrugada
Station above Rubian V.
Billions of pilgrims
from all over the galaxy
have made their way to this
moon of the gas giant, Rubian,
to attempt to stop the
outbreak of violence.
Coming together, holding hands in a vigil.
Pilgrims say they are more than happy
to do whatever is necessary
to stop the further escalation
of outright war in the sector.
You continue along in your-
- In our limousine?
- Same. (cocking gun)
(group laughing)
- And you guys arrive at,
you sort of go some place in town.
You see a weapon store,
like brilliant, neon signs everywhere.
It is a four story, like big box.
- Here we go.
- Guns, ammunitions, ships' weapons,
just like every kind of
weapon you could ever want
in this enormous department store.
- Are there also drones like Riva uses?
- They do sell psychodrones here.
- Sweet, I have a shopping list.
Do other people have a shopping list?
- Yes.
- I do have a shopping list.
- I have one thing.
- Is it gonna be same price
as things in the player's handbook, or-
- Here? (Die clatters)
It's gonna be a 20% markup on everything.
- Dammit.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Should we just like write down our list
and send it to you?
- Only mention it to me if it
costs more than 400 credits.
- Okay, actually, I have to
mention everything to you.
I would like to get a
fragmentation charge,
a hunting rifle and a thermal detonator.
- Perfect, you can do all of it.
- Actually, I have the money.
I'd like two thermal detonators.
Can I actually borrow money
to get two thermal detonators?
- Yeah, definitely.
- Absolutely.
- Let me see what the
hell I'm agreeing to.
(group laughing)
- And I would love fiber
armor, if they have that here.
- I think I'll also buy fiber armor.
- [Brennan] Fiber armor, cool.
- I would also like fiber armor.
- [Emily] Fiber armor.
- [Brennan] So spend
whatever you're gonna spend,
and then at the end of doing that,
it's a fifth of whatever you spent-
- Cool.
- On top of it.
- I've got, so I've already done the math.
I'm going to spend $6.852.
I'm gonna buy a revolver.
- [Brennan] Okay.
- Which is a one handed gun.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- I'm gonna buy a heavy shield generator,
which is a plus three offhand AC thing.
And then composite armor,
which will get my AC up to 17.
That's 2.500 credits.
- [Lou] Okay.
- And then the other stuff is all little.
- Does the heavy shield have
like a carrying capacity to it?
- The shield generator does not.
- [Ally] Okay.
- And it's 1250.
- Okay, great, yeah.
That's something I was gonna get, too.
- So you, you guys are
going back to broke fast.
- Yes!
- [Zac] Go big or go home.
- How much do the psychodrones cost?
- [Brennan] 400 credits each.
- Oh, great, then I'll buy three.
- [Brennan] Great.
(group laughing)
You go ahead and buy three psychodrones.
(Emily laughing)
Hell yeah, great, great, great.
They do sell a device that links them up.
- Yes.
- If you want.
Obviously, you can't
split your consciousness
into all three.
- [Siobhan] No.
- But you can like bring
some spares out with you.
- Yes, exactly.
That's what I would like to do.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- However much that costs.
- That one costs 800.
- Great.
- And then I'd like the parts,
I'm still considering it,
but can I get the parts to
possibly modify my auto-injector
or an auto injector-gadget
that I might be working on?
- Yes, you can go ahead and grab that.
We'll call that a cool 500 credits.
- Great.
- Okay, I actually need to borrow $2.000.
- It's yours.
- Okay! (Emily laughing)
- Yeah, it'll come out of my pocket.
- [Brennan] You guys-
- Wait, I'll lend it to you, because
you have things that you
need to spend money on-
- No, it's fine, I actually really don't.
- All I want is for you to pick
out a fridge magnet for me.
- I actually have a really good magnet
to decorate one of your drones with.
- Oh my God.
- Then 2000 Credits from me.
- Thank you.
- So you guys have like a
hover trolley behind you
and a couple of like
these Acme-Ashmun escorts
who are just picking stuff up
and a mountain of gear begins to go up.
It's like beep, beep, beep.
And you're seeing like
going into the thousands,
heading well over like
five figures of credits.
(group laughing)
- Yeah.
Yeah, it is going over
five figures, for sure.
- I spent so much money.
- I spent a lot of money.
Can we say that,
I dunno if this is near any other stores,
but I would love to pop in somewhere
and find my exact suit,
but in black leather.
- Perfect, yes.
- And trade in that and then get two bands
to put all my grenades on.
- [Emily] Yeah!
- [Brennan] Incredible.
- I just look exactly the same,
and I want a new, like a-
a stronger case for my cell phone.
(group laughing)
Bulletproof case.
- A bulletproof-
You get to the front
and looking at all the
stuff you're buying,
the cashier actually does just take a
bulletproof cell phone holder.
- Incredible.
It's like those stories of like
my granddad was shot in the war,
but he had a metal Bible in
his pocket and it saved him.
That's what I want.
- Okay.
You guys buy an
extraordinary amount of gear.
- I actually have one more thing.
- War lords!
- I have one more thing to ask about,
and I haven't found anything about this.
Is there any sort of...
armor for service animals?
- Uh, yeah.
There's a couple different types of armor
available for service animals.
- For Aurora?
- You could absolutely get
Aurora Nebbins some armor here.
- Um, I am out of money.
- How much is it?
- Yeah, how much do you need?
- How much is it?
- I have 900 credits left.
- I have 3.500 credits.
- I have 3.000.
- There's the best stuff available here
is gonna give disadvantage on stealth.
- Do we go for it with Aurora?
- [Siobhan] I think so.
- Yeah, definitely, get her-
- Yeah, I think if we already have
people going disadvantage.
- With a disadvantage.
- Is there a way to get
my drones' AC up as well?
- Yes.
So they have a suit of armor here that,
with that 20% markup,
that'll be 3.000 altogether
for composite armor.
- And what does that add to her AC?
- AC 15 plus two from Aurora's dex.
So that would give-
- 17.
- 17?
That would take her from 12 to 17.
- That's what I'm wearing.
- Okay.
- [Lou] How much do you need?
- [Siobhan] How much is it?
- 3.000, you said?
- 3.000 altogether.
- 3.000, okay.
You got it.
- All right from me.
- I have not bought a single
thing this entire campaign,
and I just spent 7.000 credits.
- Last night, I had
dinner with my girlfriend
and then I looked at my phone
and it said 80 missed
messages from our text chain.
So we absolutely figured
this shit out ahead of time.
- And you said, "Babe, I
really need to do this."
- [Brennan] Okay.
- I said, "Babe, I gotta go.
"It was great to see ya."
- You guys do all of that
in about like, you know,
45 Martrons,
so you gotta get to the Andalusian.
- Sweet.
- Let's do it.
- Oh, God.
- So you guys roll up to the Andalusian,
you're covered in gear.
You walk by.
As you're going through the hotel,
everyone give me perception checks.
(Dice rolling)
- 13.
- Nine.
- 23.
- 13.
- Dirty 20.
- [Brennan] Dirty 20.
- 16.
- As you're going through,
Skip, you look over and
see this beautiful pool,
lots of people- it's exciting.
It's just weird to see a pool,
'cause it is nighttime
now, even artificially,
but you're like going through
and you look out, see
people really excited.
People in the casino are whispering like,
Oh, that's new Acme-Ashmun people.
As you guys start to go through,
you see a group of bikini-clad,
partially like terrycloth robed women
enjoying like a lovely,
there's like a fruit table out there.
It looks like they're getting
waited on hand and foot.
One of them goes like,
"Sadie Zeb, did you get your Bellini?"
And she looks and says,
No, but I'll tell you what, sister,
all good things come to
she who waits and waits
and waits and waits.
And there's a big laugh that
goes up from all of them.
As you move through the
pool, they all look done up,
like some of them are
wearing like opulent jewelry,
even in like swimsuits.
- Are they one of the teams
that we're gonna fight?
- You go through, and I'm gonna
say you get away from there
into your locker room
before, on that 23 perception check,
there were 12 of them.
- [Siobhan] 12 of them?
- The cloistered nuns that I supposedly...
(Zac laughing)
- All things come to she who
waits and waits and waits
is one of the teachings
of the Cosmic Veil.
(retro music)
- [Murph] All right.
- So they're not dead?
- You get to your-
you put that together in your head, you-
- They're just in Vegas? God damn it.
(Brennan laughs)
- Or they're babes?
- [Murph] Or they're fighting us.
- [Ally] Oh my God.
- And they're absolute babes!
- They're absolute smokin' hot babes!
- 12 nuns are absolute smoke shows!
(group gurgling)
- She didn't get her Bellini yet?
- You guys get into the locker room.
You have, yes, but you do realize that
as you get to the locker room.
Do you say anything?
- I whisper that I,
"Huddle up, huddle up, huddle up."
- Yeah.
- You know those nuns that
are supposed to be dead
that I supposedly killed,
or, you know, Skipper did?
- Right on, right on?
- They're over there
having a bikini party.
(group laughing)
- Those absolute babes?
- But they were so hot.
- They're supposed to be dead.
- They're just terry clothed,
which makes sense, kind of.
- Yeah.
- But I think they're
just hiding out here.
- Should we go talk to them?
- Maybe we,
do wanna wait until after, hopefully?
- After we win and we have a-
- [Lou] If we're hot exiting-
- [Zac] Yeah.
- [Emily] Yeah, we're
definitely gonna run.
- I can't wait to go over there,
once we have a million credits,
and say,
"You're not even dead and
I have a million credits."
(group laughing)
- It's gonna be so cool.
- It's gonna be really cool.
(dance music)
- Incredible.
So you guys are in the locker room.
You have all of your
gear, you're suited up.
You see-
(mechanical whirring)
(mechanical whirring)
- Can I hook my extra
drones onto the people,
maybe Gunnie and then the two
people that have jet packs?
- Okay, you want, yeah, if you want your-
- Wait I have to carry around-
- Yeah, I'm not sure I can carry-
- Yeah, actually, where are,
so your drones do fold up.
- [Siobhan] Uh-huh.
- So theoretically, someone like Barry
could probably have the
spare drones on like-
- [Siobhan] Okay, great.
- Chewbacca, C3PO?
- [Brennan] Yeah, yeah.
- Maybe we should,
well, it's too late to
leave one in the ship.
We'll take all three.
We'll take all three extras.
- Yeah, well,
we can leave one in the locker room.
- Are we about to go out?
Can we like huddle up
right before we go out?
- Yeah.
You can huddle up right before, yeah.
- I just wanna like-
- [Zac] Pray?
- I would've, (Ally laughing)
I just wanna pray.
I feel like in the ship,
I printed out a photo.
I like went back in the cameras
and found a photo of everyone
in like a particularly like nasty fight
with the Captain.
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm.
- And I was like, everybody,
I want you to look at this photo.
This is where we were at.
Okay, I was sad.
It's not you, I'm sorry, it's just.
- Insane that we took a picture.
- We used to be fucking miserable.
(group laughing)
- Yeah.
- We just spent 40K credits
on guns.
We're about to get $1.000.000.
We have come so fucking far,
and you know what?
We're scary.
- Yeah.
- We're fucking scary, look around.
- Scary as hell.
- Everyone's got a ponytail.
That's fucking scary.
- Whew.
- And so, I wanna do kind of like
a motivating speech and sage
advice at the same time.
- You may absolutely do both of these.
- [Ally] Okay, so now when-
- Should I got talk to those nuns?
- Yeah. Well, when we go out there,
everybody has 1d6 plus four temp HP,
plus three to AC,
and a plus eight to any
intimidation roll you roll
during this entire fight.
- Eight to intimidation?
- Repeat everything you just said.
- [Ally] Yeah, exactly.
- [Lou] You said it so fast.
- Okay, oh, yeah, lemme roll the d6.
Okay.
- Did you say plus three to AC?
- Plus three to AC.
- What is this?
- What!
- Now you have six temp HP.
I only rolled a two.
- [Zac] Oh- Ah, damn.
- [Brennan] Six temp HP to everybody.
- [Ally] Yeah.
- [Emily] Does Aurora
Nebbins get this, too?
- [Brennan] Remember that
temporary HP does not stack.
- [Emily] Yeah, yeah, so I won't do this-
- Oh, okay, so we don't need to do drugs.
- Not yet.
- [Lou] Some of us are gonna drink, but.
(group laughing)
- [Brennan] Incredible.
- I'm also gonna cast
battle precog on myself.
So my base AC is 15.
- Plus this possible three?
- Motivating diplomat:
When you are the target of
your critical analysis feature,
your allies within 10
feet of you get a bonus-
- [Brennan] A bonus, okay.
- To their AC, okay.
- So we have to be within 10 feet,
so sorry, yeah, yeah.
- And that means that
you're putting your critical
analysis on yourself.
- [Ally] Yes.
- So you have your critical
analysis on yourself.
Within 10 feet of Margaret,
you have plus three
to your armor class.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry.
It's not that crazy.
- And I am going to, before the fight,
I'm going to shield up with
the heavy shield generator
and then a revolver in the other hand.
- Yeah, shield up with the
heavy shield generator as well.
- And I'm going to, right before we go on,
I'm going to manifest
my explosives mastery
for the first time.
And then I'm also going
to cast mirror image,
so a couple more Sundry Sidneys come out.
And I'll also cast
motivator boost on myself,
because mirror image is not,
is not concentration.
- Yeah, do all this now.
- I'm gonna ask for Sid's permission.
I would like to affix five sentry turrets
to Aurora Nebbins,
(Ally laughing)
if you'll allow it.
- [Siobhan] Hell yeah.
- Absolutely.
Aurora, are you okay with some sentry?
(Brennan grunting)
Okay.
(Emily laughing)
- [Ally] Is this so that she can fly?
- No, these will be five sentry turrets
that if anyone comes
within 10 feet of her,
they'll shoot on,
or she comes within 10 feet of them,
the turrets will shoot on them.
So I just put these five globes,
just kind of stick them
in between the quills.
- [Ally] Oh my God.
- Like two on each side.
- Should you put those on me?
- I could put one on you.
Do you wanna wear one?
I don't know how big.
It says they're the size-
they adhere to any surface.
As an action or bonus action,
you can throw a sentry at a
point you see within range.
- Give me a mechanics kit check.
(Ally laughing)
- And how close do people
need to be for that to?
- 10 Feet.
- [Murph] Okay.
- That's a...
18.
- 18, okay.
You can affix two to Aurora Nebbins
before the amount of space-
like she counts as like a 10 foot square.
- Great, so-
- [Murph] Can you put one on me?
- I put one on Barry,
(group laughing)
two on Aurora Nebbins.
- And like I said before,
when I was saying I put fridge
magnets on Riva's drone body,
that was a charge fragmentation.
- [Brennan] All right.
- And I'll put one on your drone body.
- [Brennan] Amazing.
- Oh, my bad.
So it's plus three to intimidation
plus eight the first time you use it.
- [Emily] Okay.
- So yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [Brennan] Copy.
- Well, also, I might be
doing some swirly stuff
with my critical analysis,
'cause I have two reactions per turn.
- [Brennan] Yes, yes, yes, yes.
- And I took a feat that allows me as a,
if someone is making a saving throw,
I can use a reaction to put
my critical analysis on them.
- Cool.
- Did I get the-
- Yes, I've infused your weapon.
So your crystal dagger
is a plus one to attack.
- Oh, my blaster pistol, if I could?
- Oh, blaster, is that what you wanna do?
- Yeah.
- That's a plus one to attack and damage.
- Lot of, (mechanical whirring)
(clicking)
suited up, and you see that Ross-
- I will cast sabotage charges.
That's the last one.
- Okay, you guys head out-
- Wait, real quick?
- Yes?
- I'm so sorry.
- [Brennan] It's good.
- So this is when we want to do everything
we're doing right before?
- [Brennan] Yep.
- Okay.
(Zac zipping)
I think Gunnie's gonna
hit the Runalunian absynthe real quick.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- I'm gonna go into-
I'm waiting like until we step in
and it's about to be go time.
- [Brennan] Yeah.
- For it to be zone time.
- Zone time.
- I also drink absynthe.
- I think that's gonna
be my drug consumption.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- Well, I'm gonna walk out
drinking Runalunian vodka.
- Oh, if things get really
bad, can somebody give me some,
can I have some Kublacaine?
- Yeah, I pass out the Kublacaine-
- Sweet.
- So that as an action,
if things are going bad.
- I'm not gonna take it
right now 'cause I don't.
- I have it on me.
- The Kublacaine, doesn't it-
does it redo every turn?
- At the start of each creature's turn,
it gains 2d4 temporary hit points.
At the end of the high,
the creature must succeed
a DC 14 wisdom saving throw
or experience a low-
- Jesus Christ.
- that lasts 10 minutes,
during which they must roll
a d4 and subtract the result
when making an ability check
or saving throw using constitution,
and for the duration,
their current maximum hit
points are reduced by 2d4.
- Sweet, I'll do some Kublacaine.
- Oh, yeah.
Can I message Zortch on
the ship and say, "Zortch?"
- We cut to the ship. Zortch
just starts sprinkling like
a pepper shaker of Kublacaine-
- [Ally] Like fish food.
so when you take Kublacaine,
by the way, I do need to say,
when this happens,
(group laughing)
the way it feels,
an ego enhancing drug
that takes hold of a
normal or hyper normal ego
foundering in the umbra
of rational thought,
id-ridden, fumbling and
unaware of it or itself
and transforms it into a
forged, titanium fortress
housing a crystalline consciousness
just dripping with highlights
and bristling with juicily
dangerous sharp edges.
Upon consumption of the drug,
the consumer remains calm outwardly
while within burgeons a much larger
and oh so very calmer
calm, a waveless calm,
a serene, reposeful, Halcyonian calm,
a calm based on the sudden
and irrefutable knowledge
that one is really quite a nice guy,
no, a great guy,
a prince, in fact, nay a Lord,
a great Lord, stark and terrible,
whose name or intimation of
one's name conjures overall
and solemn veneration in each
mere and mortal consciousness
within the vast breadth
of one's omniscient gaze.
Faint hearts quail.
All bow, nay, genuflect
before the all-knowing,
all-seeing, all-being Being.
- Amen, brother.
- Yeah, Amen, Cody.
Amen.
Amen, Brad.
- So are we all just like sitting there,
like quietly inside, going crazy?
- Oh, no, I think I'm like
pumping my chest with my gun.
- You are each fully
possessed of the knowledge
that you are the central being
at the core of the multiverse,
and this is the realization
of your grand destiny
made manifest through your
beneficent, multitudinous self.
- I didn't do Kublacaine.
(group laughing)
I'm just drinking the tech points vodka.
- [Brennan] Yeah.
- Margaret, call Auma.
Call Auma, tell her to watch.
(group laughing)
- I will.
I send Auma a text that's like,
maybe check this out, with a link.
- Hey guys, whatever happens out there,
just don't forget,
the ball's not rolling up anymore.
We are the ball,
(group laughing)
and we're going straight up.
- We are the ball.
- Yeah, we are the ball!
- We are the ball.
- I cannot believe it.
I can't believe how far
we as a table have come,
from Kristen's inspiring speeches
to Margaret's sage advice.
It's beautiful.
So, now you are escorted
out of the locker room.
They walk you.
You hear, Welcome, one
and all, to Fight Night
here at the Kubla-Cola Gladiatorial Arena.
Presenting your master of ceremonies,
Zeke Donaldson Quark!
Crowd erupts.
You see, wearing a neon
suit made of light,
with this like wild like sort of plume
of like troll doll hair.
You see smiling, like metallic
eyeshadow and lipstick.
This sort of beautiful
television presenter, announcer.
Hello, friends of Fight Night.
It's the Battle of the Brands.
(cheering)
It goes nuts.
You can't see them, but
announcing over the channels,
you see the Rec Station News box
and you can hear some announcement of,
"Good evening and welcome
to Battle of the Brands.
"It's Jimmy The Snout,
Rec Station News Ferret,
"here with Chip Hatwell,
"providing commentary live!"
"Hey, gang, it's Chip Hatwell.
"Happy to be here."
And the crowd going nuts.
You are moved to a dais.
As the platform moves out
in the center the arena,
roaring crowds of people
and billions of viewers at
home all across the galaxy,
and also, immediately,
all of your enemies
see you here-
- Oh, no.
- At the Battle the Brands
in Mas Vegas, Lavada.
- Can we have each done, like,
just like one little clip that they play
when they do it like a package,
just so I can be like,
"Eat your heart out, Warfare Whitney."
(group laughing)
- Oh, wow.
Absolute brand slander outta the gate
from Sundry Sidney, the gunner,
one of the two gunners here.
You see Zeke Donaldson,
In this corner,
challenger announced two Marbecs ago,
representing the Acme-Ashmun brand,
Acme-Ashmun, when you need the very best,
here we have, straight from
the heart of the galaxy,
you might have seen them
on Newscast from Rec 97,
give it up for The Gunner Channel!
- [Group] Woo!
- Can we make intimidation checks?
- Yeah, can I do a flip?
Can I do like a jetpack-y...
- I'm gonna save my
intimidation check for-
- [Brennan] I'm gonna say this-
- Oh, yeah, 'cause we only
get a bonus to the first.
- Give me a group, I
guess, performance check.
- Great.
- Okay.
- Guys, look at us.
Look at us up there.
Oh, look at us.
- Oh my goodness.
- [Lou] God damn.
- Can I do an insight check on the crowd?
- [Brennan] Sure.
- So I can get advantage on this.
- I got a 22.
- [Brennan] 22, yeah.
- 17.
- 14.
- [Brennan] 14, 17, cool.
- [Murph] One.
Cool, 22, one.
- 22.
- [Zac] 11.
- 11.
- Barry's just in it.
- I think Barry's just
making his own crowd sound,
so it seems super weird.
He's like, "Hah!"
(group laughing)
"Ah!"
- What is that guy doing?
- All right, Barry, you
don't have to do that here.
There's a real crowd!
- (chanting) Barry!
Barry!
(Emily laughing)
Barry!
- Um, you guys see-
- I put his sunglasses over
his mouth so no one can see.
- Up in a sky box,
you guys see a group of
Acme-Ashmun executives
who you realize, that's
your real audience here.
- Great.
- Ooh.
- That's who you're performing for.
Zeke Donaldson Quark says,
And in this corner,
weighing in cumulatively at 280 pounds,
you know them, you love them,
you see them every Saturday morning,
straight from the fuzzy, little forest
at the heart of Uncle
Bob's Fantanimal Land,
It's Smaggy Squirrel and Brobbin Bunny!
- Boo!
(group booing)
(crowd cheering)
- [Siobhan] We hate that squirrel!
- Where are they?
- We have to fight a frigging squirrel?
- Their thighs are so thick.
- [Ally] Their thighs are good.
- [Zac] Why does that bunny have a chain?
- And in this corner,
weighing in at 2.240 pounds
straight from Amercadia,
the Kansas Construct,
representing Kansas Korncakes.
You know him, you love him.
It's time to get good and hungry for
Brutus!
A 20 foot tall corn android
- Awh.
- Wielding two-
- So cute!
- [Murph] His quads are enormous.
- His quads are so big.
All of these guys have thighs for days.
- Oh my God.
That's the scariest thing I've ever seen.
- You can notice the corn is a costume,
and you can see the
android eyes looking at-
the corn is just foam.
- [Emily] It's a Vercadian.
- It's a Vercadian, yeah, absolutely.
- Oh!
- Oh, wow.
- That is a corn cutie.
- The room goes quiet
and you hear like that sort of like,
the synth music plays,
like (Brennan scatting).
Laser show starts.
And last Rigon's champion,
crowd favorite,
everyone in the crowd starts chanting,
(low, indistinct chanting)
and you can't quite make
out the word. They say,
Representing Triangle Mint Cookies,
the pride of the Galactic Girl Guides
and the Galaxy's favorite snack,
recovered from the heart of
a planetary weapons array,
lodged in the heart of a dying star,
you know it, give it up for
the Triangle Mint Plinth!
And you see everyone's shouting.
Plinth! Plinth! Plinth! Plinth!
A glittering, obsidian obelisk,
(group laughing)
that appears to be a
telekinetic slab of alien stone.
(group laughing)
- Barry thinks they're chanting "Syx".
Syx! Syx! Syx! Syx!
- Oh, we're not-
- No, Barry, they're for the black thing.
- Syx!
Syx!
- It might the drugs, but
it's, you know, working on him.
- You guys see the crowd go
nuts when Plinth shows up.
And you see someone that goes like,
You get 'em, Plinth!
We love Plinth!
Plinth just hovers there.
You can feel waves of psychic radiation.
You feel like you're being irradiated
by the mere presence of the
Plinth on the fight dais.
- Great.
Perfect.
- Okay.
- Without further ado, give
it up for our champions.
No rules, just right, here at Fight Night
at the Kubla-Cola Gladiatorial Arena.
Put your hands together
and let round one begin!
Fight!
Everybody roll initiative.
- [Siobhan] Oh my God.
- Oh!
- Are we just fighting on this thing?
- Is there not another team?
I thought there were five teams.
- I got a nat one, but I'm re-rolling it.
- Oh my God, nice.
- Yes.
- 11.
- I also got an 11.
- I got a 14.
- 20.
- Nat one.
- [Brennan] Nat one?
Gunnie, what did you get?
- 13.
- Okay, the fight begins.
We enter initiative and
Aurora is gonna go with Sid.
So Sid and Aurora are gonna
act on the same initiative.
Skip?
- [Zac] Yeah.
- [Brennan] You are first to act.
- So prior to my turn, I also
get to move with bad feeling.
- That's correct.
- I'm gonna look around and see like,
what is fair game in this arena?
Like what are these big
posts in the corner?
Like could I get on one of those things?
- You see that those are
like camera stations.
- Okay, so that is outta bounds.
- [Brennan] Those camera stations
are out of bounds, correct.
- [Zac] Okay.
- Like out of bounds?
They did say no rules in the beginning.
- [Murph] That's true.
- They did say no rules.
- [Brennan] They did say no rules.
- But it's out of bounds?
- Well, yeah, it looks
like it is out of bounds.
Correct.
- [Emily] Okay.
- I'm sorry to say this,
but it's out of bounds,
but there are also no rules, right?
So I do wanna jump on one
of those camera nests.
- Yeah.
- [Brennan] Okay, go for it.
- [Zac] Is that okay?
- [Brennan] Yeah.
Go for it, go for it.
- [Zac] And hide up there with Marge.
- You grab Marge,
you scoot up, you're flying.
You're in one of those nests there.
- I'm gonna go up there and then,
well, yeah,
take that attack with my
blaster pistol on the Plinth.
- [Brennan] Hell yes.
- Oh my God.
- You might as well see what it's made of.
- [Ally] Get some info.
- Yeah, let's get data.
- Fuck it, I'm attacking the Plinth.
(group laughing)
- Here we go.
And you're within range from where you are
to hit the Plinth with a blaster?
- Yeah, it's like 40
something feet, it looks like.
- Cool.
Yeah, go ahead and make your attack.
- I hate that tone.
So that would be,
I have advantage because
they haven't gone yet.
Higher one is 16,
but with the supreme accuracy,
I'm gonna also roll again.
Yeah, 16 on the die plus,
with that, I have a plus nine to hit.
So it's a 25.
- I'm gonna go ahead and say, cool, yeah,
you definitely have it.
You can, on your flight up,
get a totally clear shot on Plinth.
A 25 does hit.
You immediately take
four points of damage.
As you fire at it,
you feel reverberating from it
a pure, alien, psychic hatred
of crystalline consciousness
and blood vessels in your nose burst
as your brain is scrambled.
Four points of damage.
Go ahead and take your attack.
- So, that was one of
Plinth's legendary reactions?
- Or Plinth just
does damage every time we-
- Just goes every time we hit him,
I think.
- Yeah.
- 17 plus six is 23 damage.
- 23 damage to Plinth.
- I'm going to targeted strike
where I add a superiority die to that.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- And so that's with an additional six.
- Plinth takes 29 points of damage,
which you can tell bypasses
a hefty damage threshold.
- Okay.
- [Emily] Ooh.
- And then bonus action, hide.
(Zac laughing)
- Hell yeah,
give me a stealth check.
- We're just gonna hope.
That is a... 26.
- [Brennan] Incredible.
26 stealth, okay,
that's gonna be Smaggy
Squirrel and Brobbin Bunny.
- Okay.
- [Murph] Focus on the Plinth.
- Together, we can destroy Plinth!
- Brobbin Bunny is gonna
rush Aurora Nebbins
and Smaggy Squirrel is
gonna rush Sundry Sidney.
They're going for the closest ones.
- Okay.
- I look up at the corn guy.
I want you in the finals.
(group laughing)
Me and you.
- Oh my fucking God.
- Okay, that's a hit
against Aurora Nebbins.
- Okay.
- I'm so scared.
- I know.
- I'm terrified.
- [Ally] Me too.
- I just don't want Plinth to go.
- I know, I'm terrified of Plinth.
- Why did I, ugh,
I just truly forgot to use
one of my basic abilities
in that turn.
- 23, 33 points of
damage to Aurora Nebbins
as Brobbin Bunny says,
I think you should take a nap!
And against you,
definitely gonna be a hit.
Go ahead and roll
to see if it gets one
of your mirror images.
- Can I just shield?
- Each time the creature
targets you with an attack
during the power's duration,
roll a D20 to determine whether
the attack instead targets
one of your duplicates.
- [Emily] Okay.
- So shield-
- So, it doesn't matter.
- See if that happens first,
and then shield would happen after?
- [Brennan] Yeah.
- I got a 10.
- They hit one of your duplicates,
d10 plus your dex mod,
so one duplicate destroyed.
- Bye, Sid.
- Coming at you
with another attack.
Hits again.
Roll to see if it hits another duplicate.
- 12.
- Okay.
So two of your duplicates,
as Smaggy Squirrel says,
(Brennan squealing)
and both of them go
(Brennan laughing)
and leap straight up into
like these swirling cones,
swirling cylinders above you.
- Wouldn't I get an opportunity attack?
- They're going to bonus action disengage.
- [Emily] Okay, okay.
- And both of them leap up
the tall cylinders up above.
- Terrifying.
- Really awful.
(Brennan laughing)
That is going to be Riva.
- Okay, it's failed twice,
but this is the fight where
it'll work, I swear to God.
I'm going to cast psychic
confusion on the corn cutie,
and I'm gonna do it with heightened spell
so that they have disadvantage
on their wisdom saving throw.
- Attacking everyone. Exactly.
- Okay.
You're gonna use psychic confusion.
- He can't be that smart,
he's a big corn thing.
- Exactly.
- Big, old corn thing.
- He's just a protector droid.
- The quads on that.
- They put all of it
in like, you know, con.
- I mean, he was dumb enough
to get in this stupid outfit.
- [Brennan] What is the save here?
- DC 16.
- Wisdom, right?
- [Siobhan] At disadvantage.
- Nice.
Ooh, this is great.
- Passes.
- [Murph] What?
- Well, good for him.
In which case I will
quicken, try and disarm
one of these disgusting-
The disgusting rabbit.
- Hell, yes.
Try to disarm the disgusting rabbit.
- And that's either strength or dex.
DC 16, once again.
- You see that the chain whips out
and it wraps an arm around and says,
No, no, no.
Mine!
And pulls it back.
- Great.
I'm gonna move so I am
behind Aurora Nebbins.
- [Brennan] Incredible.
- [Siobhan] Did nothing.
- You move, rush behind Aurora Nebbins.
That's Riva.
Gunnie, that is you.
- Great, is there anyone, can-
I mean, I don't know if
I'm allowed to ask this.
Is there anyone in the initiative
order between me and Sid?
- You are not allowed to
ask that. You do not know.
- Great.
I'm not allowed to ask that.
Okay.
I want to-
- These bunnies drew first blood, Gunnie.
- So it's, we're on the-
- We're on the bunnies.
- We're on the bunnies?
- Well,
Skip bled out of his nose.
He had a nosebleed.
- I think the Plinth is unfeeling.
- So the bunnies drew first blood.
(Murph laughing)
- I feel like they're just gonna
fucking attack us every time.
- Great.
- Yeah.
Any way we can convince them to not?
- Can I do an intimidate
check on the on the rabbits?
I mean, like, "You don't want this!"
(group laughing)
You don't want this!
- Give me an intimidate check.
- And I get plus?
- Eight.
- Okay.
- First one, and you're
sponsored, so this needs to work.
(group laughing)
- [Ally] No!
- [Siobhan] Oh, come on.
- It's a 17.
You don't want this!
- Want this?
- You don't!
- Want it.
- You don't want this!
- Want this! Okay.
- Okay.
It sounds like they do want this.
I'm gonna fly back.
You don't want this.
I'm gonna hit the rabbit
with an explosion.
- Okay.
- Or can I hit a point between the two
that they are both engulfed
in a 20 foot radius?
- Oh, they are definitely not
20 feet away from each other.
- Great, I would like to hit
both of the two of them with an explosion.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- They make DC 17 dexterity saving throws.
- Does it knock them down or anything,
or just do a bunch of damage?
- Just does 8d6.
- Cool.
- Go ahead and roll damage.
- Okay.
Eight,
14,
22,
33 points of damage.
- [Brennan] 33 points of damage?
- [Siobhan] Nice.
- Smaggy and Brobbin both leap up,
doing insane double back flips in the air.
Smaggy takes no damage.
Brobbin takes half of that
for 16 points of damage.
- Great.
Then I'm gonna throw two
sabotage charges at them.
So I need two more dexterity
saving throws from them.
- They both make their
saves, take no damage.
- Oh, then I won't.
- They don't take any damage?
- Oh, 'cause they,
they're like high level rogues,
they're like level 10 rogues.
- Do they get to do that every time?
- No, they, it's that, yeah.
- And I'm gonna use my
last feet of movement
to put the pillar in
between me and anybody.
- Brennan, you're right,
you made this unfair.
(Brennan laughing)
- Incredible.
- I believe in us.
- I believe in us, as well.
- I think this turn it might be go time.
- [Murph] I'm 100% going to kill
one of the little guys.
- I think this turn.
(Ally laughing)
- Even if I die.
- If we kill one of the little guys,
I'll be happy at this point.
- Then we're fine.
- I've just seen how bad
this fight is for us.
If we can-
- And then Aurora Nebbins
is not within 10 feet of anyone, correct?
- Within 10 feet of Riva and Sid.
- Is Barry within 10 feet of the corn guy?
- Brutus is within 10
feet of Barry, correct.
- What are you?
- The sentry on your back.
- This is like going into the Royal Rumble
and attacking Stone Cold
Steve Austin and The Rock
at the same time.
- Okay, okay.
He has not been hostile to us yet,
so it doesn't have to attack him yet.
- [Brennan] Oh.
- Can this be public?
Can they shout like,
"Attack the corn person"
"No, he hasn't done anything yet."
- No!
Me and the corn guy are
going to the finals.
(group laughing)
- Give me, honestly, give me
a persuasion with advantage.
(group laughing)
- Can I use the intimidation? Less as-
- I will say yes.
- But more of just like,
we're both so strong!
(group laughing)
- [Brennan] Go for it, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Nat 20.
- Yay!
- Woo!
(group clapping)
- No way!
- Yes!
- Yes!
- Woo!
- Yes!
- Yes, baby!
- On a nat 20,
you see Brutus looks at you and says,
Eat Korncake, make you big
and strong, and headbutts you.
He's not going to attack Barry.
(Murph laughing)
I'm gonna roll a d6.
- If you kill a bunny, that's fine, do.
(Die clatters)
- Okay.
- Bunnies eat corn.
They're pests.
- He is not gonna target Barry with this,
but he's gonna try to hit
as many people with this
as he can.
- [Siobhan] Oh my God.
(Ally laughing)
- [Brennan] So we start here.
- No, my team!
- Oh my God.
There's also just like dynamic lighting,
like from a candle, so his thighs.
- His thighs!
- His thighs are glowing.
- Where there's shading on
his thighs, you really get-
- Oh my God, is that a birthmark?
Honey, what happened to your thigh, baby?
Who hurt you?
(group laughing)
- Baby, who hurt you?
- Baby, who hurt you?
- Baby, who hurt you?
- On that nat 20 intimidation,
Brutus is going to move to
right next to the Plinth.
- Oh my God.
And he is going to hit
(dramatic music)
both Smaggy, Brobbin, the Plinth,
but also Sid, Aurora Nebbins and Riva.
- Makes sense.
- Okay.
- Is this a save or is this an attack?
- [Brennan] This is a save.
- What kind of save?
- A constitution-
- Add your d4.
- [Brennan] Saving throw.
- Add a d4, great.
I did do drugs.
- Add a d4 if you did drugs.
- Let me see what I get on the d4 first.
- Oh, yeah, does the uncanny dodge,
does that cost something?
- I got a 16, which is
probably not high enough.
- Okay, I'll help you.
- I got an 11.
- You should help Sid.
- Well, you might be able to save.
- [Siobhan] Right.
- I just add five to it,
like a flat five.
- Oh, okay.
- [Ally] So that would-
- That's very helpful.
- You would be 21.
- Yeah, I think you should go for Riva.
- I might be immediately down,
'cause I only have 32 hit points.
(dice shaking menacingly)
(dice clatter)
- Okay.
He goes, "See you in the final."
55 points of damage
to Riva, Sid-
- Can it be halved?
- [Brennan] And Aurora Nebbins.
- At 21?
- You got a 21?
- [Ally] Yeah.
- Halved.
- I'm down.
I think.
- [Brennan] Sid is down.
- [Brennan] Halved, 55 is halved to 27.
- 27, great.
Thank God for those temp hit points.
- What'd Aurora Nebbins get for the save?
- Oh, Aurora Nebbins is
definitely gonna be down, though,
even with half, yeah.
Aurora Nebbins is also down.
- You see, and now I'm
gonna roll some saves
for our other little friends here.
- Do we see the, or, whatever.
Yeah, we can't really see his face.
I wanted to know if the corn
immediately got hurt, too.
- You guys see, however, on that nat 20,
getting him away from trying to hit you,
he does also target Smaggy and Brobbin.
They each take the full 55-
- Jesus Christ.
- As Brutus goes,
(Brennan roaring)
and just a cone of
horrifying, gaseous venom
erupts from his mouth.
Eat Korncakes!
Plinth is completely immune to
poison damage, takes nothing.
- Jesus Christ.
- Oh my God.
Oh my God.
- And Riva, you are not down, correct?
- I am not down.
I have five hit points.
(Brennan roaring)
- You see,
Well, that's an incredible
venom breath from Brutus here.
We love to see the
action out here tonight.
This android has it all!
(crowd cheering)
And after that, Barry,
that is gonna be your turn.
- Sweet.
I am going to
action,
med pack my fellow gunner, Sid.
- [Ally] Hell yeah.
- [Emily] Ooh!
- So go ahead and roll a
hit dice, plus your con,
and then my
temp hit dice are gonna change.
- [Lou] This is crazy.
- So I go from being-
- This is crazy.
This is crazy.
- I can do this.
Put me fucking back in.
- If we take out one of these people,
we've done really, really well.
- So I go from
76 back down to 69.
- Nice.
- And then back up to 74.
And then that is my action.
I'm gonna go ahead
and I'll just get up on the
highest point that I can get
with the 30 feet.
- As you say that to
Brutus, he goes over there,
you run, do the pack,
get Sid back up and leap straight up.
As you do, all these
little robots flying around
all spotlight on you with that nat 20.
You hear Jimmy The Snout go,
Uh-oh, looks like some
mid-combat med packing here
(group laughing)
from Big Barry Syx.
(group clapping)
Straight up in the air.
I've never seen air on a heavy like that!
This guy's got weight, but he can move.
- Oh my God.
You absolutely have some like snus.
- Margaret, you haven't
gone in combat yet.
You look up, see Barry do that
and see one of the older
Acme-Ashmun executives
look up from their phone
for the first time.
- We did it.
- Ooh!
- We're getting signed to Reign.
(group laughing)
- [Brennan] Inside baseball, folks.
- It's a joke just for us.
- Okay, amazing.
At the end of your turn,
Brutus, I'm gonna take a legendary action,
and again, off that nat 20,
swats at the Plinth.
- [Zac] Yes!
(group shouting)
(Brennan laughing)
- [Siobhan] We stan!
- [Emily] Yes!
- Thighs of steel!
- Oh my God, Brutus.
- Hits it for 10 points of damage.
Brutus immediately takes four
as a blood vessel bursts in his nose.
Wow, you can see Brutus
really feeling the hatred of the Plinth!
We don't know what ancient
alien civilization built Plinth,
but we know they did not
like living organisms.
(Emily laughing)
- Wait, did the Plinth
take 10 points of damage?
So that was maybe like a damage threshold?
- Well information for
you, 10 points of damage,
the Plinth does not take
10 points of damage.
10 does not bypass the damage threshold.
- All right, okay.
- Oh, damn.
- So Plinth still only
injured by Skip's attack.
You see there's a little crack there
from where Skip shot Plinth.
Getting sneak attack on a flat stone slab
is completely bonkers, but
you found the weak point.
That's legendary action.
Save, and Plinth saves against the effect
that Brutus would've done
there in a legendary action.
Sid-
- [Emily] okay.
- [Brennan] You are back up.
Also, give me a death
save for Aurora Nebbins.
(Emily grunting)
- [Murph] That's cruel.
- Come on, baby.
Nat 20!
(Murph laughing)
- [Siobhan] Shut the fuck up!
Yes!
- Nat 20!
Nat fucking 20!
- Get outta here, get outta here!
(group cheering)
- Kiss it!
- Woo!
- Barry, you med pack, leap straight up.
Sid, as you leap back up-
- [Siobhan] Amazing.
- That's so sick.
- By the way,
I will say, too, you
lost your concentration,
but mirror image, I'm gonna rule,
you still have one duplicate left
because it's not a concentration.
I don't think it ends.
And you feel next to
you as you get back up,
you hear,
(Brennan grunting)
and feeling your hand moving, Aurora,
(Brennan snarls)
with one hit point,
full like Mononoke wolf,
like got some blood oozing
between her razor sharp teeth.
(Brennan grunting)
- Get him, baby.
- Both you and Aurora get turns.
- Ooh, okay!
- She's back up at one
at the start of her turn.
- No one make the corn guy mad.
- Can you get safe?
Can you go somewhere like
where you can basically-
- Yeah.
So, that's what I'm gonna do.
- Yeah, I would just get safe.
(Lou laughing)
I would just get safe.
- So I'm gonna cast,
using my action to cast
motivator boost on myself
to double my speed.
- Cool. So with the rocket
boots, you're going 60.
- Yeah.
So I'm using my speed to get
to one of these camera places.
From there, are these guys
within a 10 foot radius?
- Smaggy Squirrel
and Brobbin Bunny?
- Yeah.
- I do not believe they are
within 10 feet of each other.
- Okay.
Then I will throw a stun grenade at each.
- Okay, they're gonna make
constitution saving throws here.
- Come on, baby.
- The DC is 16
because you have your ideal manifested.
- Yep.
- Okay, stun is pretty fucking big deal.
- Technically unconscious.
- [Ally] Yeah.
- If they fail.
- [Ally] If they fail.
- Which means auto crits on attacks.
- Okay.
- I'm assuming rogues don't
usually stack up on con.
- That kind of system knowledge
can get you a long way in this game.
(group laughing)
We're bringing out the Box of Doom, folks.
(group laughing)
- For the folks at home so that you-
- Fuck yes, Emily.
- For you all to react at
home, I'm gonna let you know
what our highly dextrous Smaggy
Squirrel and Brobbin Bunny
add to their constitution saving throw.
This is what they add.
Here we go, let's roll these saves.
They're trying to beat a DC 16.
Meter beat 16.
(suspenseful music)
Two stun grenades.
Boom, boom!
At the last second,
Smaggy covers her eyes and goes,
Brobbin, watch out!
Brobbin goes, huh?
Boom!
And Brobbin goes prone
on the top of the Plinth.
Brobbin Bunny is stunned.
Smaggy makes her save.
- Okay.
So I have moved my character
to hide in one of these things,
and now Aurora Nebbins is
gonna go after the stunned one.
- Give me an acrobatics
check for Aurora Nebbins.
- Okay.
- And are you going to
a different camera thing than these guys?
- I think we should be on a different one.
- Yeah, definitely. Absolutely.
- Definitely, 'cause these
area effects are devastating.
- It's a nine.
- It's difficult terrain,
but she is gonna use a bonus action from-
- Yeah, she can, yeah.
- Give me one more acrobatics check.
You just gotta beat at DC
10 for her to get to that,
to get up to the Plinth
and grab the bunny.
- Okay.
- I got a 10.
- [Brennan] Got a 10 exactly!
- Okay.
- So you, she looks up and
goes, (Brennan grunting)
it's like,
Uh-oh, looks like someone needs to tell
that beautiful, royal blue mastiff
that's not a real bunny!
She doesn't seem to care, folks.
She looks hungry.
(Brennan shouting)
She reaches up, she can
go ahead and take attacks.
- Can I just have her drag it off?
- And throw it off the platform?
- And throw it off the podium?
- Oh, shit,
just pick it up and throw
the bunny off the platform?
- Yeah.
- You see, she looks hungry.
Do you give her the command?
Yeah.
- Yeah.
I say, take out the trash, baby.
(Ally laughing)
- All the cameras zoom in on you.
(lasers blasting)
Go ahead and gimme a free performance
with advantage here as well.
(group laughing)
- Okay, that's gonna be a...
21.
- A 21.
Take out the trash, baby.
Uh-oh, looks like we got
a little bit of sass here
from our resident Sundry Sidney.
Folks, she loves dogs and hates rabbits.
You see Aurora Nebbins picks
up and then looks at you
and like wiggles her butt.
- And I say, let's play fetch.
(Brennan roaring)
- You see, throws the bunny.
The bunny sails off the
side of of the dais.
- [Ally] Oh my God.
- And falls endlessly through space.
Folks, now that's what I
call a well-trained dog.
You can tell Aurora Nebbins
wanted to eat that bunny
and eat that bunny bad!
Hey, you're not wrong, Jimmy.
I have a dog
and I can't stop him from
attacking my neighbors.
(Emily laughing)
And you see,
first enemy, Brobbin
Bunny is off the field.
- Oh, I also have to roll my temp HP.
Ugh, got an eight.
But I also, I hide,
so I'm hoping to get some kind of cover.
- It is Plinth's turn.
- [Emily] 14, crap.
- Now, I've-
- [Murph] What does Plinth-
- Hidden, hopefully, but...
- First thing Plinth is gonna do
is gonna make a perception check.
- Okay.
- 26 on that hide, right?
- Plinth is going to gravitate,
taking an attack of opportunity here.
That is going to be
16 points of damage
from Brutus swinging with a reaction,
which does pass the damage threshold.
- [Emily] Oh, it does,
okay. Very good to know.
- So 16 damage, he goes (grunts) crack,
into the Plinth's side.
Uh-oh, here comes the
Triangle Mint Plinth.
Plinth is never in a rush,
and that's the kinda of
technique you love to see
from a completely inhuman obelisk, folks.
- Does Brutus seem to
bleed through his nose
when he hits him?
- He does.
So another four points
of damage to Brutus.
TaleSpire, from the center of Plinth,
can we measure a 30 foot radius sphere?
(Zac laughing)
- From the center of Plinth.
- Who is outside of that sphere right now?
Gunnie, are you outside of it?
- Mm-hmm.
- I am.
- So, Skip, Margaret,
Gunnie and Sid are all out.
Riva, Aurora Nebbins-
- God damn it.
- And you, I am going to
need wisdom saving throws-
- Damn it.
- [Brennan] From all of you.
- Okay, I do roll that with advantage.
- [Lou] Oh my God.
- 25.
- 12.
- Okay, defiant?
- No, he doesn't have defiant.
- Heads up, actually, that's
my version of defiant.
- Seven for Aurora.
- What does heads up do?
- You get to add a d6.
So I can a friendly
creature you can see or hear
makes a saving throw.
- I have a feeling this
is gonna get me anyway,
but let's try it.
Why not?
Do you wanna roll it?
You roll better than me.
A d6?
- Yeah, wait, what are you at?
- I'm at, what did I say, 12?
(suspenseful music)
- Five.
17?
- 17?
- 17 is not gonna do it.
- Yeah.
- Dammit.
That's okay.
- So Riva, you save
against this successfully.
- Yes.
- For Barry and Aurora,
Plinth floats to the
middle of the dais and-
(unnatural rumbling, roaring)
you see in your mind,
the black hole at the
center of this galaxy.
- Oh God.
- And you hear in a language,
as you begin to understand
the words of this language,
your eardrums and nostrils fill with blood
as Plinth says,
Return me
to the dying heart.
And your speed is reduced to zero,
you are under the frightened condition.
- [Murph] Dammit.
- [Brennan] As is Aurora Nebbins.
- Oh, I can help.
I can help with that.
- Okay, I say to everyone,
we need to get Barry outta there.
- I'm fine.
I think I'm just scared of-
- No,
we need to get you out of there.
- The Plinth.
- [Siobhan] I actually
got it, I can do it.
- Okay.
- This is- I have exactly
the thing that can happen.
And we can game time still in that.
- Okay.
- 'Cause that means I have a bonus action.
- [Emily] Great.
- And then it's you.
- [Lou] We can still game time.
- Awesome, great.
- No idea what game time is.
- Operation slippery puppet.
(Siobhan laughing)
- Operation slippery puppet.
- And then Plinth is
going to move straight up
to like underneath the Jumbotron.
- Oh fuck.
- Oh my God.
God dammit.
- He wants to get us all.
- Oh, and I have to roll for
Smaggy Squirrel as well.
- Yeah, I was gonna say,
what happens to Smaggy Squirrel?
- Smaggy rolls, succeeds
on her wisdom save.
Moving along in the initiative order,
that's gonna be Margaret.
- Okay, great.
Um, I am going to...
(Siobhan and Emily laughing)
I'm a polyglot.
Can I try to speak to the Plinth?
- Sure. You wanna speak to Plinth?
- I just wanna say, do
you want to be fighting?
- Plinth (cosmic music) enters
into the heart of your mind.
- I welcome it.
- You see it goes,
I
want
the all fight.
And you watch the explosion,
implosion and ending of the universe
in the consumption of ultimate entropy.
Looks like the Triangle
Mint Plinth out there
is having some kind of
psychic conversation
with Margaret Encino.
(Ally laughing)
- I blow a kiss to the
Plinth that it can't see.
And then I,
I think I'm just going to
throw a stun grenade at the bunny
who's on the little thing.
And my DC save is 14.
- Stun the bun.
- Okay.
- Stun the bun.
- Stun the bun.
- Stun the bun.
- Here we go,
actually this is, one-
Stun is very, very bad.
Here we go.
Adding the same amount.
(dramatic music)
Margaret, you hurl that grenade.
- Yeah, I think I'm gonna throw
it so hard and even hit it,
and I'm like, ah, and it's like, so weak.
- You lean over and throw this.
You are exactly within distance.
- Woo!
- And Smaggy Squirrel is stunned.
- [Murph] Nice.
- [Emily] Yes!
- So I lean over and I go...
(group laughing)
One of those awful throws.
- So awful.
- And then I'm gonna train my
critical analysis on Barry.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- Appreciate it.
- So I don't have to use any
of my reactions next round.
And then I am going to
hide.
(Ally laughing)
Is that a whole action?
- [Brennan] Hell yes.
- You can still get cover, though.
You can use your movement to get cover.
- Love it.
Yeah, I'll kind of scoot back a little bit
in our little nest, to the very end.
- Okay, you huddle back in.
You're over there.
- Can I roll to see if I think
that the Plinth should meet Gnosis?
(Brennan laughing)
- [Siobhan] Yes.
- Yeah.
- [Siobhan] They would hit it off.
- I think that Plinth wants to destroy-
- It was pretty low.
- Humanity.
- It was pretty low.
(Emily laughing)
- I think- It's pretty low?
You're like the Plinth is
one more problem than I need.
I don't need to figure out Plinth.
- We're done with the Plinth.
Thank you so much.
(Emily laughing)
- [Brennan] Okay.
- I wink at the corn, though.
Can I do that? I don't know
if they're looking at me,
but I'm just like-
- [Lou] Hey, Corn.
- It's good to have you on the team.
And I flash a contract at the corn.
(Ally and Emily laughing)
- [Brennan] Okay.
- Flash a contract?
- I go, you could be signing this.
- This stack?
You want in on this stack of papers?
- I tell the corn,
We all got a signing bonus.
(Ally laughing)
- Plinth, at the end of Margaret's turn,
is going to go for Margaret and Skip.
I'm going to need-
- It can see us?
- It doesn't need to.
I'm gonna need intelligence
saving throws from both of you.
- Jesus.
- Yikes.
- Ooh.
- Actually, they're both very smart.
- Pretty smart.
- So...
- [Emily] Come on.
- It doesn't need to see us at all?
(suspenseful music)
- What'd you roll?
- 24.
- 24?
(suspenseful music)
- [Siobhan] Come on, Margaret.
- It's a natural, so that's kind of cool.
- Oh no.
- Natural is all the rage these days.
- No!
- No additives, 'cause it's just a one.
- Cool, cool.
- We don't add anything to that.
- Okay.
- I could add a d4 to that, though,
so that's kind of cool.
(suspenseful music)
- That gave me a stomach ache.
- This makes me-
- [Brennan] 10.
- Upset.
- How many hit points do you have?
- [Siobhan] 30.
- 29 points of damage to Margaret.
(Ally gasping)
- Okay.
- Are you alive?
- Yeah.
- 'Cause of the Kublacaine?
- Yeah.
- [Brennan] 'Cause of the Kublacaine?
- I didn't do Kublacaine,
just 'cause of the inspiring speech.
- Okay, 29 points of damage to Margaret.
That's gonna be 14
points of damage to Skip.
- Uncanny dodge.
- [Brennan] This is
unfortunately not an attack.
It is a spell.
- Okay.
(Ally laughing)
- Okay!
- You take 14 points of psychic damage.
You spoke to Plinth,
and Plinth goes into your mind and goes,
Do you want to understand?
And you know that your eyes
have Plinth burned into them.
You see a dying sun with a
black rectangle in front of it
and it's all you can see,
burned into the front of your vision.
(Siobhan laughing)
Plinth is all.
And you have a minus 1d6
to all of your rolls.
- Okay.
- [Brennan] Brutus,
all by his lonesome down there, actually-
- Go for Plinth.
- Is gonna take some legendary actions,
sort of looking around.
- That squirrel is fucking available.
- Yeah, the squirrel's stunned.
- [Brennan] That's going to be
back to the top of the order.
Skip, that's you.
- I like kind of don't
care about the squirrel.
- [Emily] Yeah, right?
It's stunned right now, you're right.
- So it was able to do that
attack without seeing me.
Am I still hidden?
- You are still hidden.
It looks like it just knew psychically.
- Okay.
- Where, like,
it didn't need to, it's not an attack,
it was an area of effect.
- Okay, I am going to...
pop up, sneak attack on the Plinth.
- Yeah.
- [Brennan] Hell-
- [Murph] I think we
need to separate, too-
- Yeah, it's Plinth time!
- [Murph] Probably, if it can get to each-
- And I'm gonna move for sure.
- I think I can explode both
Plinth and the squirrel.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- Okay.
17, but then a supreme
accuracy roll again,
see if I crit.
Nat 20!
- Yes!
(group cheering)
- Yes!
- [Zac] Natural 20!
- [Emily] Yes, yes, yes!
- We're walking away millionaires!
- [Siobhan] Millionaires!
- This is how millionaires fight.
Om, nom, nom, nom.
Ooh, it tastes good.
- Margaret's nat one is
followed by six zeroes, baby.
- All I see is Plinth.
(group laughing)
- All right, that's a nat 20 on Plinth.
- So this is
eight d6.
- Oh my God.
Okay.
- 8d6 on Plinth?
- All right, you know,
does anyone wanna send
their kids to school?
- I'd love.
- Yeah!
- [Siobhan] Absolutely.
- [Emily] I would love
to send my kids to camp.
- Here's some kids for you.
- All right.
Oh, I'm gonna forego
two of them, actually,
to do a different thing.
- [Murph] Oh, I know what you're doing.
- Great.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- Yes.
Good idea.
- To do a-
Yeah, so, all right.
- I have a question for you, Brennan.
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm?
- Targeted strike,
when an ally makes an
attack against a creature,
use your reaction to
expend a superiority die,
then you add it to the damage.
If I have minus d6 to everything,
am I the one rolling that,
and therefore it negates the d6
or am I giving him a d6?
- You're giving it to him
and it would double on this attack.
- [Emily] And it would be a crit.
- Take two more, baby.
- [Brennan] So-
- So it is still eight d6,
but I, even though-
- Now you can do this
thing 'cause Margaret,
even though all Margaret
can see is Plinth,
Margaret knows that you-
- All I see is Plinth.
(group laughing)
Get Plinth.
- Right on.
- Keep Plinth.
Hold Plinth.
- Fuck! (Zac laughing)
- [Siobhan] That's a lot of ones.
- Okay.
12...
- Oh, you re-roll ones, though, right?
- I don't.
(group laughing)
- Yeah, that's actually one of, uh-
- [Emily] Your AC is 25, right?
- My abilities, so I can just-
- Yeah, my AC is 25 and I have
a million hit points left.
(Emily laughing)
And I've never seen Plinth.
(group laughing)
- 27
plus six.
- Hey, hell yeah.
- So that is 33 damage.
- 33 damage definitely
bypasses the threshold.
- Get Plinth!
- Now I'm going to drop off
of this platform straight down
and then try to hide
underneath the platform
of the center of the ring.
- Ooh, I love that.
- If you have the movement,
you can move and dash,
and like bonus action
dash to get under the ring
if you have the movement to get there.
- Okay, I'm just gonna jump to
a different camera operator.
- Cool, copy that.
- So I will roll that hide.
That is going to be a
27 to hide.
- 27 to hide.
- And I gotta roll my new temp HP.
It's two d4?
- [Ally] Mm-hmm.
- [Emily] Yeah.
(dice clattering)
- Six temporary HP.
- You also take four
points of psychic damage
when you attack.
- Okay, so that goes to my actual total?
- Actual HP, yeah.
Smaggy loses her turn
to the stun condition,
but she is no longer unconscious
because of ambient
psychic damage from Plinth
that wakes her up.
So she loses her turn,
but she is back up with
four less hit points.
And after Brobbin is dead,
(Lou laughing)
(Ally laughing)
Riva, that's gonna be your turn.
- I'm going to get my
Kublacaine hit points back.
That's four, so I'm up to
a big ol' nine hit points.
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm.
- I am going to run,
now, Sid, can you just make sure
that I'm in the right position?
I am gonna move to this plinth.
- [Murph] Cool, great.
- I am going to, bonus action,
go out of this psychodrone,
and into one of the
psychodrones that's hidden
in Barry's backpack.
- These are useful for, I think
if your body was destroyed.
This is effectively allowing you like
free teleportation around the battlefield
to be able to jump from body to body.
- But we paid 800 credits for it.
(Emily laughing)
- Let us do the cool thing, Brennan!
(group laughing)
- See, here's the problem.
You guys are adversarial to me,
and then I make rulings
because your secret plans
are against the rules of the game.
- No, our secret rules are good.
- See, yeah, your secret rules, exactly.
- I think it's okay.
I think you can cast calm emotions on him.
- Okay, then I'll get to there
and I will cast calm emotions.
- [Murph] Ooh, I appreciate you.
- [Siobhan] So I get
Aurora Nebbins and Barry
in that calm emotions.
- Ooh!
- [Brennan] Amazing, okay.
- And that, you should still roll
to see if you get out of the
feared condition on your turn
because it's a concentration spell.
- [Emily] Mmm.
- And when the power ends,
any suppressed effect resumes.
- Got it, okay.
- But you are now
essentially immune to being
charmed or frightened.
- [Murph] Cool.
- Any bonus actions from you?
- I mean, I would love to be able to
jump to this psychodrone,
but if you're not letting me-
- I'm not-
Having three bodies
that you can rapidly move
your consciousness around
is very, very good
and leads to all kinds of
shenanigans in future combats
that I don't wanna take part in.
- Exactly.
Exactly!
- No, no, no.
I know a bad deal when I see one.
No, thank you.
- Can't blame us for trying.
- I never knock the hustle.
I just make the rulings.
Lou, that's gonna you.
- Great.
I think Gunnie's gonna
appear from behind this
and just yell, "Get fucked, Plinth!"
(group laughing)
- Yes!
- And I'm gonna cast explosion on Plinth.
- Amazing.
Okay, we're gonna cast
explosion on Plinth.
- And you know what? Fuck it.
I'd love to have both
Plinth and Smiggly Squirrel
get fucked together.
- Okay, now here's the issue.
- [Lou] Okay.
- Explosion has the radius that it has,
so you show me where it's
going on the battlefield
that's not also hitting Riva,
Barry or Aurora Nebbins.
- Oh, great question.
- If you do it on just Plinth,
you can just do it super high, right?
- [Lou] Yeah.
- I think there's no way
you're not hitting Barry
because the Jumbotron means
you can't select a point
higher than that as the
center of the blast.
- Can't you go past it, though?
- You could pick a point past Plinth,
Pick a point past Plinth.
- Pick a point past Plinth.
- [Brennan] Just catching Plinth
in the edge of a blast radius
from like way farther out.
- Let's do that.
- Okay.
So you're like hurling way the fuck out.
Boom!
Plinth is gonna roll a
dexterity saving throw.
Here we go.
(rock music)
That is a failure.
- Yes!
- Plinth has bad dex.
- Plinth has bad dex!
- We love to watch Plinth fail.
Okay.
31 points of damage on Plinth.
- [Ally] Woo-ee!
- [Emily] Yeah!
- Nice. Nice.
- Okay, 31 points of damage on Plinth.
Folks, Plinth did not like that, I assume.
- [Emily] Woo.
- We got it.
We got this, we got this.
I'm gonna fly forward
so that I'm just on the
edge of the platform.
And I'm going to throw a
potent aptitude to Barry.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- [Ally] Nice.
- Cool, thank you.
- All right, so you are
hovering above the platform
like under the Jumbotron, correct?
- Yeah, I wanna look Plinth
square in his fucking eye.
(group laughing)
- Looks like Gunnie Miggles-Rashbax,
engineer of the squad,
looking for some kind of eye
to mean mug this obelisk.
(group laughing)
Better luck next time.
There are no discernible features
on this alien technology.
- I'm just gonna pick a point.
I'm just gonna pick a point.
There.
- You hit potent aptitude.
After your turn,
Brutus is going to weave
under there, moves forward.
We're gonna roll something
very important right now, actually.
- Ruh-roh.
- This is the recharge ability
for that venom breath we saw before.
- [Siobhan] Oh, God.
- [Lou] Mm-hmm.
- I'm gonna let you know right now,
on a five or a six,
the venom breath comes back.
- That's so bad.
- That's a four.
- Oh my God.
- [Brennan] Woo! Okay-
- Oh God, that was close.
- Oh, Plinth.
- Oh, Plinth!
Brutus, the corn brutie charges forward.
This first one is coming
for Aurora Nebbins.
What's Aurora Nebbins's
current armor class?
- 17!
(Zac laughing)
Uh, do they hit?
- They do.
- Hmm.
- [Ally] That's interesting.
- [Murph] Poker face.
- [Ally] Yeah.
- Let's see what the-
- [Siobhan] Do you wanna put
the other pair of sunglasses
on underneath?
- See how much damage they do.
- 26 points of damage to Aurora Nebbins.
- She had one hit point. She's down.
(group laughing)
- And then it's gonna take two attacks
on Riva's psychodrone.
- God damn.
It's actually fine, it's whatever.
- Yeah.
- [Brennan] Here we go...
- It's totally whatever.
- That's a hit.
28 points of damage to the psychodrone.
- So down.
- Ax comes down, (Brennan roars)
shatters this psychodrone.
One of the psychodrones on
you (blips) wakes back up.
Now I am going to ask
for some psychic saves,
as like Riva-
- Oh, yeah.
- [Brennan] Back on the ship.
- Look, I mean, look,
I think I'm still down.
I'm just not technically-
- [Brennan] Down, down.
- Dead.
- Yes, absolutely.
Yes, 100%.
You are, yes, you are
not permanently dead.
- So I've got zero hit points.
- You have a zero hit points Riva
on your back, exactly.
- [Murph] Right on.
- [Emily] We can work with that.
- And then you roll for like waking up
or getting more hit points?
- Yeah, if you have some
means of repairing droids,
that could bring you back.
- We should do that as
quickly as possible,
because, actually, my
concentration has just gone.
So, Gunnie and Aurora
are now frightened again.
- [Murph] Great.
- Okay, oh, Barry and Aurora
are now frightened, yes.
- Except that Aurora's down.
- Which I think ends the condition,
but I could be wrong.
- [Brennan] Okay, Barry,
that's gonna be you.
Yes, you are once again
frightened as Riva goes down.
- [Murph] Okay.
- Which means your speed
is still reduced to zero.
- That's fine.
I am frightened and I make
attacks with disadvantage.
Can I still shoot the
Plinth with disadvantage?
- You can still shoot the Plinth
with disadvantage, correct.
- Okay, well, let me ask you this.
I have this shield.
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm.
- Technically to doff it,
it takes an action.
If I'm willing to just like throw,
like object interaction,
just like if it rolls
off the fucking platform
and I lose 2000 credits that I'll,
that happens. Can I do that?
- Cool.
Yes, you can do that.
- Cool, sunglasses on.
So scared underneath,
drop the shield,
pull out the rotary cannon.
I'm going to rapid shot on the Plinth.
- Yeah.
- [Brennan] Ooh.
- To get around the disadvantage.
- Oh ho ho!
- [Siobhan] Nice.
- Copy that.
Go ahead, as you're about
to throw the shield away,
give me a performance check.
(Murph laughing)
- [Lou] Let's go.
- Let's go. Let's freaking go.
- Performance, 14.
- You toss the shield up into the air.
As you do, the shield passes
in front of one of the cameras
with the Acme-Ashmun
logo emblazoned on it.
(Murph laughing)
And they go,
Whoa, little bit of spot product
here in the middle of the fight, folks.
The Acme-Ashmun team knows
how to put on a show.
- Wow.
- We are gonna go ahead and roll
the dexterity saving-
- I love you, Barry.
I love you, Plinth.
(group laughing)
- Fails the save.
- Nice, Barry.
- [Lou] Plinth is done.
- Oh, can I have my children back from-
- [Emily] Oh, yeah.
- Yes.
- [Murph] They went on a field trip.
- [Emily] Kids back from camp.
- These two?
- I need my kids back from camp.
Thank you so much.
- And remember, you need to
beat that damage threshold
to do damage at all.
- [Emily] Yeah.
(suspenseful music)
- Love.
Love that.
Love that face on Barry.
- Man, these shades are rad as hell.
- They're perfect Barry shades.
- [Siobhan] Yeah.
- 27 damage.
(Zac gasping)
- [Siobhan] Nice, nice.
- And then I'm going to rapid shot again
on my second attack.
- Jesus.
- [Emily] Yeah.
- [Lou] Let's go, Barry.
- That's another failed save.
- [Siobhan] Yes-ah!
- Yeah!
- [Zac] What kind of save is that?
- [Siobhan] Fuck up this Plinth!
- Dex.
- [Ally] Wow.
- Bypassing this thing's
armor class is huge.
- 28 damage.
- Jesus Christ.
- Dope, dope, dope, dope.
- We don't even need
operation slippery puppet.
- You guys see,
Barry, as Plinth is right in front of you,
with the frightened condition on you,
which as you know,
would give you disadvantage
on attack rolls,
but this is not attack rolls.
You-
(lasers blasting)
you guys see Plinth riddled with cracks.
Oh my goodness!
Mother Void, do you believe in miracles?
The unkillable Plinth is
riddled with cracks, folks.
I'll tell you what,
if the contractors who worked on my condo
had to come do this work,
that'd be a pretty penny
to repair that, Jimmy.
Right you are, Chip.
Holy smokes, folks.
Are we gonna have an upset?
Plinth is looking bad.
- Sid, is it your turn?
- Yeah, it is.
- [Brennan] It is Sid's turn.
- I wish I had sunglasses-
- [Siobhan] Oh, I know.
- For this slippery puppet moment.
- Okay, so Barry, where are you on this?
- I'm, uh-
yo, if you have to fuck me up, fuck me up.
- No, I'm not going to.
- Do I look like I have a Miata?
- Okay.
- Yes.
- What I'm going to do
is I'm gonna use my action
to get back on the stage.
This is gonna be my last turn.
There's no way I survive after this,
so I just look around and I say,
It's been nice knowing all of you.
I'm gonna bonus action
med pack Aurora Nebbins.
- [Brennan] Incredible.
Aurora Nebbins, miraculously back up.
- Ooh!
- So, she gets some hit points
and I'm going to use her
to basically throw Riva up to the Plinth.
(group laughing)
- [Brennan] Throw- okay, Riva.
- Basically, I need to get Riva
like 10 feet closer to the Plinth.
- Riva's old body, or?
- Riva's old body.
- [Lou] Riva's old body.
- Copy that.
Cool, yes, yes, yes, gotcha.
- So, Aurora will do that,
throw it 10 feet closer,
so that I can use a 15 foot cone
from Riva's old body
onto the Plinth.
- Okay?
- And then I take out the remote detonator
that I bought for full price at Plug's,
and I unleash
something called a charge fragmentation,
a device used to blow holes
in larger constructs and structures.
This is what I spent a minute
installing into Riva's old drone.
- Am I getting Ocean's-ed 11-ed
on my own fucking show?
What the fuck is happening?
- We read the book, Brennan.
And by we, I mean just Emily.
Emily read the book.
- Do you wanna know more?
Do you wanna know more, Brennan?
When detonated,
the breaching charge
explodes in a 15 foot cone.
Each creature within the
cone must make a DC 14,
16 for me, dexterity saving throw,
taking 20d4 kinetic
damage on a failed save.
Objects, structures and other surfaces
have disadvantage to the saving throw.
- Oh my God.
- How did you know there'd
be a Plinth in this fight?
(group laughing)
Jesus, I'm fucking ruined.
(group laughing)
Every-
- Riva's old body just goes flying.
- Everyone send your kids to camp.
Everyone start sending d4s.
20 d4?
(Emily laughing)
- Oh, you do need to roll, though,
because if you get a nat one,
it actually takes max damage
because of my explosives mastery.
- I'll roll in front of the
board just to keep it honest.
Here's disadvantage in front of the board.
Okay.
- Okay.
- Oh, I thought that was,
okay, so it failed.
That's a fail.
- [Zac] How many more do you need?
Do you need any?
- [Lou] We're gonna murder Plinth.
- I'll roll them maybe-
- Do you need more d4s?
- 10 at a time.
One, two, three, four.
- [Siobhan] Great.
- Five, six.
- God, operation slippery
puppet is insane.
(group laughing)
- I didn't know you guys were doing this.
- You gotta read the texts, Murph.
- Oh!
- Okay,
20...
22.
It did fail.
- My kids were rolling really
great at camp, actually.
- 44 damage
to the Plinth.
- Give me a performance with advantage.
(giddy giggling)
- [Zac] Just a pit of spikes and d4s.
- Already a 19 on one of them, so...
22.
- You land.
Med pack.
You see the crowd-
just med packing Andora Nebbins,
the crowd goes fucking nuts.
We're not gonna let the
doggy die today, Chip.
No, we are not.
They'll put you in jail for that, Jimmy.
You see that Aurora
Nebbins grabs the droid.
Time slows down, crowd going nuts.
You see a group of little, green uniformed
Galactic Girl Guides kind
of chewing on their fingers.
They know something's up in this moment.
Aurora bound,
jumps from one to the other.
Plinth rotates.
It is Plinth's turn next,
and a fifth level psychic
power is coming all of your way
on Plinth's turn.
You hear Jimmy The Snout in
the commentator's box go,
Chip, it looks like a
bit of bad strategy here.
I think the team's android
thinks that the psychic's mind
is still in the old droid-
Oh my God!
Do you believe it?
In the droid's body, there's a thermal-
(rapid beeping)
(explosions roaring)
In all of the explosive ruptures
from Gunnie's fireball
in the riddled cracks
from the rotary cannon,
the detonator made to
destroyed structures,
you- Margaret, in your mind, you hear,
Go.
- Plinth?
(group laughing)
- The prophecy...
(thunderous explosion)
Folks, a priceless artifact
and real son of a bitch is no more!
The Acme-Ashmun Gunner Channel
has done the impossible today!
- Yes!
- Plinth is destroyed!
Boom!
- We still got Brutus.
Brutus is tough.
- [Siobhan] Brutus is tough.
- And instead of using my
reaction to throw a grenade-
- Real quick, everyone
within 20 feet of Plinth,
which I believe is gonna
just be Aurora Nebbins,
Barry and Riva's new body with zero,
you're gonna auto-fail this.
So it's gonna be one
death save fail for Riva,
and Aurora's gonna take
half, no matter what.
So Aurora's just gonna
go down to zero again.
Barry, gimme an intelligence saving throw.
- Ooh.
Natural 17.
That's a 17.
- As Plinth explodes in psychic energy,
you are going to take,
it's gonna bypass your rage, too.
- Oh, you're on my critical analysis.
- Does that?
- So you add five.
- So 22.
- 22 makes the save, baby.
- Oh!
- 20 halved to 10 points of damage.
- Great, thank you.
- [Ally] Woo!
- 10 psychic damage, boom!
Crowd going nuts.
You see a bunch of Galactic Girl Guides
ripping up their tickets
and throwing them,
stomping out in the audience.
At the end of your turn-
- Did Brutus get hit by the Plinth?
- [Siobhan] Yeah, Brutus
and the squirrel were both-
- Did Brutus and the squirrel
get hit with the psychic damage?
- Oh yes, they did.
They both got hit with the psychic blast.
Brutus fully makes it.
So Brutus is just gonna take
10 points of psychic damage.
- [Murph] Okay.
(Zac laughing)
- Smaggy is gonna go ahead
and take the full 20.
Legendary action.
(synthesizer music)
- Okay.
- End of that turn.
Brutus kicks Aurora Nebbins off the dais.
(Emily gasping)
- [Siobhan] Fuck.
- Uh-oh, looks like that corn construct
is tired of that dog popping back up.
- I'm sorry, I didn't mean
to say the amount of money
we were gonna make.
- [Brennan] Margaret.
- What the hell do I do?
- [Brennan] That's gonna be you.
- Um...
I have one hit point,
and I am a leader,
but I also need to snort some
Kublacaine with my action.
So I just kind of sheepishly reach in
and snort some Kublacaine.
And then I just hold onto the ankles
of the camera person nearest me.
- Looks down.
You see the camera guy,
all the camera people are fine.
They have weird like psychic earplugs in,
like, that Plinth is a doozy, huh?
(Ally laughing) As you're
going in for the bump,
you see the camera wheels around it says,
All right, modern
businesswoman, Margaret Encino
doing a quick bump mid-combat.
- Absolutely not, absolutely not.
They do not record that.
- It's part of our deal.
- But you're-
- I have colleagues to worry about.
- [Brennan] Amazing, okay.
- We're your colleagues.
- Different, hot colleagues, okay.
- Amazing.
- Oh.
- [Brennan] Okay, so that's your action.
Any bonus actions from Margaret?
- My critical analysis
is going to move to...
So, it goes to-
- I'm probably gonna get
knocked off this thing.
- Oh yeah, maybe, okay, yeah.
I'll give it to Sid.
I go, Sid, you can't see me,
but you're doing a great job.
(Emily laughing)
And I'm just holding
onto someone's ankles.
- [Brennan] Incredible.
Margaret-
- [Ally] So close to their shoe.
- [Brennan] Back to the top, that's Skip.
- Skip, having hidden up there,
would like to take a sneak attack shot on,
what's his name?
The- Brutus.
- Ooh.
- Hell, yeah, go for it.
- 28.
- 28 for Brutus?
- [Zac] To hit.
- 28 hits Brutus.
- Okay.
And so this will be a priming attack.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- I'll do targeted strike.
- [Zac] So it's a-
- Six, baby.
You add six to whatever this
damage roll is.
- [Zac] Oh, cool.
I'm taking away two d6.
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm.
- And so it's just...
five, six...
17 damage.
- 17 damage to Brutus.
- And I will say that
they have to make a wisdom saving throw
for the priming attack.
16 is the DC.
- Succeeds on the wisdom saving throw.
- [Murph] Damn.
- Aw, fuck!
- This guy is weirdly wise.
- I forgot to do the
angle perception thing.
God dammit.
- That's all right, you-
pew, take another shot.
Hits Brutus.
He's looking fine, gang.
That's gonna be Smaggy Squirrel.
- [Zac] Oh, can I bonus
section hide real fast?
- Yeah, go for it.
(synthesizer music)
- That's gonna be a...
16.
- A 16?
- [Zac] Yeah.
- Cool, Brutus does not see you.
Smaggy absolutely does.
- Now is Smaggy actually a squirrel,
or is this like a furry situation?
- This is an android situation.
- Okay.
- It can both.
(Ally laughing)
- So you go to hide and you hear,
Uh-oh, they've been down
for most of the match,
but it looks like Uncle's
Bob's Fantanimal Land
is back in it.
Someone likes to show
that they can climb, too.
And you look up and see that
Smaggy has bounded up to your chamber.
- I forgot to roll my d4s
last turn for temp HP.
- Oh, yeah, go ahead and roll them.
(synthesizer music)
(dice rolling)
- Three.
- Gotcha.
And hits you for 23 points of damage.
- Uncanny dodge.
- [Siobhan] Ooh.
- Halved to
11 points of damage.
(Smaggy chittering)
Boom.
That is Smaggy, and she used
her bonus action to hide there,
so she is not hidden now.
She's fully visible up
on top of that structure.
- Oh, bonus action to leap up there?
- [Brennan] Yeah, she used
her bonus action, exactly.
Gunnie, it's gonna be you.
- Great, I fly forward.
I'm gonna repair droid on-
- Wait-
- [Emily] Riva?
- You might actually not need to.
Let me double check with Brennan
before you use a turn to do this.
- Okay, great.
- The language of Kublacaine
says that I regain two d4 hit points
at the beginning of every turn.
- Temp HP don't get you back up to one.
- Yeah.
- Great.
- Great.
- Repair droid.
- [Emily] Okay, awesome.
- Thank you so much.
- [Emily] Oh, that's so good.
- Great.
- You understand why I couldn't have
repaired droid you?
- That's a cool.
- Absolutely.
We needed to do
exactly what happened.
- Eight hit points
to Riva's new drone.
- [Emily] Yes.
- Thank you so much.
- Do some quick mechanics work on that.
Then I'm gonna pull back,
kind of still at the
same height that I'm at.
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm.
- And just yell down to Brutus,
Hey!
Oh- Over here, asshole!
And I'm gonna chuck two
sabotage charges at him.
Two dexterity saving throws.
- Woo!
- It's just two d6.
- Okay.
Roll the damage separately,
'cause he makes one
save and fails another.
- So the first one's an eight.
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm.
- Uh, that's off the table.
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm.
- The second one's a 10.
- Boom, boom.
As the fire erupts,
it is now his turn again.
We're gonna roll in front
of the board once more,
five or six, he gets
his breath weapon back.
(die clatters)
That's a five.
- Fuck.
- I'm gonna need
constitution saving throws
from Gunnie, Norman,
and I'll make one for
Smaggy Squirrel, as well.
- Do we get any cover or anything?
- Unfortunately, no, because it's a gas
that's like filling up the area.
- Constitution saves.
So I get to do this with d4
because of-
- [Siobhan] Yes.
- Kublacaine?
- [Siobhan] The Kublacaine.
- Fuck.
- Ooh, that was rough.
That was a rough throw.
(suspenseful music)
- Okay.
What did we get here?
- 10.
- [Brennan] 10.
- 22.
- [Brennan] 22.
Gunnie makes the save.
- God.
- [Brennan] 62 points of damage.
Skip is down.
Maggie squirrel also down.
- Gunnie's still standing.
Still standing, still strong.
It's Brutus and us.
- [Brennan] Brutus and us.
- [Ally] So Smaggy, she's down?
- [Brennan] In the final, the
way it was supposed to be.
- Yeah.
- I wanna see you
in the final.
- Brutus, I don't like
that you threw the dog
off the pedestal,
but other than that-
- [Siobhan] I can give
him disadvantage, though.
- And, you know, also killing my friends.
- [Zac] Yeah.
- You stuck to your word.
- He's so close to the edge.
- And he moves to be within
swat distance of Sid.
Barry,
or it's you guys are actually
on the same initiative
so you can choose what order
you want to go in, but.
- [Emily] What I want to
do more than anything-
- [Brennan] Mm-hmm.
- Is bonus action med pack my dude,
reaction throw stun grenade at the dude
and then use my motivator extra speed
to get underneath Aurora
Nebbins so that next turn,
I can cast enhance ability and
double my carrying capacity
to catch Aurora Nebbins.
- What is the range on your med pack?
- It is, uh,
60 feet.
- Does it mention anything
about line of sight
on the med pack ability?
- Creature of your choice
that you can see within range.
- I can get him.
- You can get him?
- It won't be before his turn.
- He doesn't have any death saves, though.
- Can I do a perception
check to try to see him?
- There's no possible,
because he's in that crow's nest.
There's no way for you to see
him without getting above him.
- I really, I tried.
Okay, I don't know where you are.
I really wanted to heal you,
but I just can't see ya.
- Right on.
- Can I use my bonus action
right now to try and stun him?
- Try and stun Brutus?
- [Emily] Yeah.
- You use your bonus action
to try and stun him, yeah.
- Actually, I think that
doesn't do any good,
'cause I have have advantage.
- He would auto feel strength saves.
- Oh, yes, that would be
really helpful for me.
- I mean, that's fucking huge.
- So I'm gonna just spike a stun at him.
- Through his legs.
- Yeah, just like fucking
nick off a kernel.
- You throw a stun grenade at him.
And I will use the lingo of
the game we are all playing,
burns through his first
legendary resistance.
- First?
- Dammit.
- Oh, okay.
- You see that Vercadian programming just-
- I think I gotta save
my reaction to shield
if he actually hits me.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- So I just gotta be
like, all right, peace!
And then I'm gonna use my motivator boost
to try to get down underneath Aurora.
- You do motivator boost.
You fall back. He's gonna
take a swing at you.
- Okay.
- What's your current armor class?
- My current armor class is 18,
but I do have a mirror image up.
- Give me the roll from your image.
- [Murph] Come on.
- [Siobhan] Come on.
- I didn't get it.
- Okay, so it bypasses to you.
- Okay, shield.
- Misses.
- Oh, okay!
- [Siobhan] Oh, God.
(Emily sighing)
- You even hear,
Oh no, it looks like the android's
off the side of the platform, folks!
It looks like Brutus knocked you off.
You go down.
- And then I'm gonna
drop the concentration
from motivator boost to
cast enhance droid on myself
to double my carrying capacity.
- This ax comes up, hits your shield,
sends you off
and your motivator boost dies,
and you see those like engines
come off in you and you hear,
Oh God, it looks like Brutus
took out the motivator boost.
That's a direct- What is that?
No, it's a different engine coming online.
And your rocket boosts hit.
You go up and the crowd looks down.
We can't see her,
get a camera!
Get a camera on Sundry Sidney!
Folks!
Boom.
You get under, and like
Superman, these roller skates,
white-hot roller skates,
with twin jets of flame
as you Superman this enormous, spined dog.
As it comes above the lip of the dais,
(Brennan heaves)
Folks, Sundry Sidney has saved the dog!
(crowd cheering)
The crowd goes fucking nuts.
People are punching each
other in the stands,
just losing their minds.
- Nothing comes between a
mother and her daughter.
- Folks, this droid can do anything,
and this fight's not over yet!
Tune in next week for
the thrilling conclusion
(Emily screaming)
of the Battle of the Brands
here at the Kubla-Cola Gladiatorial Arena!
Brutus versus the
Acme-Ashmun Gunner Channel.
See you then.
- I'm so excited.
(group laughing)
- How much damage would I take
if I just kind of dropped out
of my nest onto the ground?
- How many hit points you got?
- I got eight hit points.
- Why would you, like,
don't you have a gun?
- Oh, stop.
He wants this to happen.
- What are you gonna do down there?
- Statistically,
you would stay up.
- You would stay up.
- Let's do it.
- It's hard to roll a 14 with 3d6.
(Emily laughing)
- This is the sensible Beardsley season.
- So, Margaret, you leap
from the crow's nest.
- Leap?
No, I fall.
- Uh-oh, looks like Margaret
Encino, business manager,
has taken a tumble out of the camera nest.
- I go right up to it and I go,
You fucking suck.