Diff'rent Strokes (1978–1986): Season 7, Episode 16 - Harry Birthday Drummond - full transcript
Kimberly returns home from school in Paris to surprise Drummond on his birthday prompting Arnold and Willis to try and match her special gift, they decide to change their name to Drummond, until Willis suddenly has second thoughts.
♪ Now, the world don't move
to the beat of just one drum ♪
♪ What might be right for you ♪
♪ May not be right for some ♪
♪ A man is born,
he's a man of means ♪
♪ Then along come two, they
got nothing but their jeans ♪
♪ But they got,
Diff'rent Strokes ♪
♪ It takes, Diff'rent Strokes ♪
♪ It takes, Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world ♪
♪ Everybody's got a
special kind of story ♪
♪ Everybody finds
a way to shine ♪
♪ It don't matter that
you got not a lot ♪
♪ So what ♪
♪ They'll have theirs,
and you'll have yours ♪
♪ And I'll have mine ♪
♪ And together we'll be fine ♪
♪ 'Cause it takes, Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world ♪
♪ Yes it does ♪
♪ It takes, Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world ♪
- Hi Pearl.
- Hi Pearl.
- Look, we just got
Dad's birthday gift.
- For the man who
has everything.
- He's got 20 of everything.
- I know.
- Except this.
What is it?
- It's a PortaButler, Pearl.
Look, it's a shoehorn.
Neat, huh?
Corkscrew.
Spoon.
And a nail clipper.
- Dad can eat spoon and
clip his nails at the same time.
See, its got a 101 uses.
It's got 100 uses.
- So, what do you think
about our PortaButler, Pearl?
- Well, it certainly is Porta.
- You don't like it, do ya?
It's dumb, right?
See, I told you we
should've never shopped
at Maury The Surplus King.
- It's fine, Willis.
It's certainly beats your
idea of calling Kimberly
at her school in Paris
and having her send over
a can-can dancer.
- That wasn't for Dad.
That was for Willis.
Hey Willis, it's a great gift.
Look, it even came
with a guarantee.
- Let the buyer beware.
Best wishes, Maury.
- Well, I guess that'll
teach you to buy from a guy
with only one side burn.
(audience laughs)
Hey Sam, come here.
Take a look at our
birthday gift we got for Dad.
Isn't it neat?
- Real neat.
- So Sam, what are you
and Maggie getting Dad?
- I already told
you I can't tell you.
- Ah, come on, Sam.
You must be getting
something really big
because you and
Maggie acting real strange
even for southerners.
(audience laughs)
- Come on, Sam, give.
- It is big and it's a surprise.
Sorry.
- Come on, Sam!
I mean, you gotta tell us.
What good is a secret if
you can't tell someone?
- Hello, hello.
- Hi Maggie.
- You got home
just in time, Momma.
I was getting lots of pressure.
- Do they try tying
you to an anthill?
- Worse.
- Poor baby.
Well Sam, you're home free now
because our surprise
is out in the hall.
- Where's Philip?
- He's upstairs.
- Philip Drummond,
front and center!
- [Philip] Be right down!
- Maggie, will you us a hint?
Is it animal,
vegetable, or mineral?
- I guess animal. (giggles)
- Well that animal better
be house trained or I quit.
- What's going on?
I came as quick as I could.
What's happening?
- Now Philip, I know your
birthday is still two days away,
but Sam and I wanna
give you a present now.
So you can share it
with the whole family.
- Now?
Really?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Well that's not the same
as getting it on birthday.
No, I think I'd rather wait.
- [All] No!
- That's what I said,
the sooner the better.
- I hope this is worth the wait.
- Let 'em try and
stop our PortaButler.
- Ladies and gentleman,
boys and girls.
The biggest birthday
surprise ever.
Introducing the one, the
only direct from Paris, France,
Kimberly Drummond!
- Happy birthday Daddy!
(cheering)
(audience applauds)
Hi.
- Oh Maggie, thank you for
making me open my present.
- Oh wow, this is great.
Kimberly, that's even
better than a can-can dancer.
- You must be starving.
What can I get ya?
- Well, I'm really
into French food,
but Pearl, I would
just love to have one
of your sloppy joes.
- You got it, I'll go
extra heavy on the slop.
- Maggie, Sam, thank you.
I still can't believe my
daughter's really here.
- Me neither.
Daddy, you look terrific.
- Thank you, sweetheart.
- And you look as
handsome as ever.
- I've always looked
as handsome as ever.
- She was talking to me.
- How was she talking to you?
She was looking at me.
- I'm the better looking
of the two brothers.
- You're down
there, I'm up here.
- I'm handsome.
- No, you're not.
I'm gorgeous too.
Look, I got all the women.
- She was looking right at me
when she said that.
- I see nothing's
changed around here
except maybe your
heads gotten a little bigger.
- You're right, Willis.
She was talking to you.
(audience laughs)
- Sam, you've grown so much.
- And I'm getting
lots of muscles too.
- Ooh!
- The second grade
voted him hunk of the year.
- It's getting harder and
harder to push him around.
- Well Miss Kimberly,
it sure looks like
Paris agrees with you.
- Oh, it sure does.
If I didn't have a
family with birthdays,
I'd probably never leave Paris.
(speaking in foreign language)
- Does that mean you like it?
- Daddy, it's wonderful.
Ooh, I've just seen so
many different things,
strange customs, unusual people.
- But you've got that
right here with Willis.
(audience laughs)
- And the River Seine runs right
through the center of the city.
Paris has got to be the
greatest city in the world.
- You wouldn't said if
you've been to Tulsa.
(audience laughs)
- Well, it sounds like
Paris hasn't changed.
I remember being
there years ago.
And taking a moonlit boat
ride down the River Seine,
past the cathedral Notre-Dame.
It was so romantic.
It was just me
and my accountant.
- Who cares about a bunch
of rivers and cathedrals?
I wanna know about
those French women?
- You'd love them, Willis.
- As often as I could.
I just see myself now.
Every time a
mademoiselle walked by,
I'd give her a little
tip of my beret.
Say, "Ooh la la, foxy momma."
I'd be the biggest attraction
since the Eiffel Tower.
- Yeah, tourists would pay
good money to climb your ego.
- Here it is, Kimberly.
- Ooh, thank you Pearl.
Daddy, here's my
present for you.
- Oh Kimberly!
I didn't need anything
besides your being here.
What an elegant wrapping.
- I don't think it's a tie.
- Uh-oh, you don't think
she stole the Mona Lisa?
- Come on, Daddy, open it.
- Well then I won't have
anything to open on my birthday.
- You still have
Arnold and Willis'.
- All right. (audience laughs)
Oh, it's the
Drummond family tree.
Thank you, Kimberly.
- Oh, you're welcome.
- You know, they say if
we go back far enough,
we're all related.
Right, little bro?
Give me five.
Right on.
I'll go make some fresh coffee.
French roast.
- I hope you like it, Daddy.
I thought it'd be
a little different.
- It's different, but it's
definitely Dad's family tree.
Look, instead of
leaves it's got dollar bills.
- Oh, stop it.
- Momma, is a family tree
what they hung great,
great Uncle Holly from?
- No.
Sam, honey, that was an oak.
Sam, this tree is a
chart of Philip's heritage.
It traces his ancestors
all the way back
to the beginning of his family.
- And we've had a
pretty famous family too.
- Right.
See Sam, my
great-great-great-great Uncle Philip
was instrumental in helping
Washington cross the Delaware.
- Boy, he sounds
pretty brave, Mr. D.
- Well not that brave, Sam.
He stowed in the boats.
And there's my grandfather
and my grandmother,
my mother, my
father, me, my sister,
her husbands,
Glenn, Mitch, Albert.
And Muzzle-bun.
There's Kimberly and
there's Willis and Arnold.
Hey, and there's Mom and me.
This is really neat.
- Hey Dad, shouldn't
there be more empty boxes
under us for the future?
- We don't need anymore, Willis.
You see, Sam will carry
on the McKinney name
and you boys will carry
on the Jackson name,
but I am the last one to
carry the Drummond name.
- What about Kimberly?
- Well Sam, someday
if Kimberly marries,
she'll probably change
to her husband's name.
- Right.
- Well that's kinda sad, Dad.
You're the last male Drummond.
- Oh, it's no big deal.
We can't always
expect things to work out
just the way we
anticipated they will.
- Yup, I never
thought I'd end up
with a little red-headed
brother who break dances
to Slim Whitman.
(audience laughs)
- Well, I could sure
use a good night's sleep.
- Philip, are you all right?
- Oh sure, I'm
just a little tired.
I had a big day.
- Well I'm with you.
Good night all.
- Good night.
- Good night.
- Good night, carrot top.
- Good night, Kimberly.
- Good night Maggie,
good night Daddy.
I'm gonna hang out with
Willis and Arnold for awhile,
catch up on things.
- Okay sweetheart.
I'm really glad you're home.
- Oh Daddy, it's
nice to be home.
- Good night, boys.
- Night.
- Night Dad.
Night everyone.
- Boy, Dad seems a little
sad over that name thing.
- Well Arnold, it really is sad.
Our family goes
back over 500 years
and after Daddy, that's it.
- I wish there was
something we could do
to make Dad feel better.
- Yeah.
Hey!
I just got a great idea.
It'll make Dad feel better
and it'll be his best
birthday present ever.
- You're gonna sew
your mouth shut.
- Funny, Willis.
This idea is great.
It's super, it's stupendous.
- Well, what is it?
- It's Albert Einstein,
it's genius quality.
- Good night, Kimberly.
- Good night, Willis.
- Hey, hey, hey,
where you guys going?
Come back here.
I mean, let me enjoy this.
It's not that often I
get such a great idea.
- That's for sure.
- All right listen, here it is.
Willis, what if you and I changed
our last name to Drummond?
- Change our name?
I don't know, Arnold.
But on the other hand, it
would give Dad someone
to carry on his name.
- Two someones.
- Oh, Daddy would
really love that.
You know Arnold, it
really is a great idea.
- You don't have
to act that surprised.
- That's great.
Come on, let's tell
Dad about it right now.
- Now?
- Yeah.
- Hey Dad!
- Daddy!
- Come down, Dad!
- We got a surprise.
- What is it?
- [Arnold] Hurry up!
Hurry up!
- We gotta tell you now.
- Come on, Dad.
Dad, we've got another
big surprise for you.
- Another surprise?
How much do you
think I can take?
This is the best birthday ever.
- Dad, Willis and I
decided to give you us.
(audience laughs)
- Thanks Arnold, but
I already have an us.
- No Dad, what Arnold
means is we have decided
to change our name to Drummond.
- What?
Why that's wonderful!
Are you sure you wanna do it?
It's a big step.
- We're sure, Dad.
- Well, I...
- I think he likes the idea.
- This is incredible.
I feel like the luckiest
man in the world.
How can I ever thank you?
- Don't worry, Dad, we'll
think of something expensive.
(audience laughs)
- Daddy, isn't this great?
Now the Drummond name
really will live on forever.
- It sure will especially
the way Willis operates.
Well, this is just terrific.
I hope you boys know
how much this means to me.
- Of course we do, Dad.
- Hey, let me see how it sounds.
Arnold Drummond.
A.D., the big A.D.
Hey, that's noble.
That's classy, that's me.
- That's both of you.
- Well I probably
can't fall asleep now,
but I certainly
have to give it a try.
- Well Kimberly, you're
gonna sleep like a log tonight.
It's almost 4:00 in
the morning your time.
- Oh really?
Well I don't feel tired at all.
Just kidding, I
really am very tired.
- Bonsoir.
- Good night.
- Sweet dreams.
- Night Dad, night Maggie.
- Well we for sure
made Dad's day.
Boy, did you see
how happy he was?
I wish we had thought of this
the year we gave
him that ant farm.
Hey Willis, what's wrong?
- Arnold, I made a big mistake.
- Uh-oh, Willis.
I hope you're not gonna say
what I think you're gonna say.
- I can't change my name.
- You said it.
Willis, coming up
here is ridiculous.
- Arnold, don't you ever get
misty-eyed for our old home?
- Yeah, from all this dust.
- Arnold.
- Willis, this isn't
our old home.
This is just a shell, a wreck.
- Arnold, this is
where we grew up.
They're knocking
down our building.
And knocking down our roots.
- If our roots don't
knock us first.
- Look Arnold, that
corner was our bedroom.
I remember when we had the cots
all pushed up against the wall.
- Yeah, actually
it was kinda nice.
When we got sent to our room,
we didn't have to go anywhere.
- I remember on Sunday nights,
we all use to sit around
here in the kitchen,
you, me, Momma, Papa.
Papa use to tell us old stories
about when he was in the war.
- Do you believe
he was exaggerating
on some of those
stories about his exploits?
I mean, it's kinda hard to
believe a cook snorkeled
into Tokyo Bay with
the surrender terms.
- Those were the good old days.
Look Arnold, first Momma
and Papa passed away
and now they're tearing
down our building.
And on top of that,
we're giving up our name.
Arnold, Dad may be the
last of the Drummonds,
but we're the last
of the Jacksons.
- But you already promised Dad.
Do you know how badly
you're gonna hurt him?
- Yeah, I know.
- Willis, I know it's
a hard thing to do,
but that's what makes
the gift so special to Dad.
- This is the pits.
- Look Willis, we
have to think of Dad.
I mean, look at
what he's done for us,
the life he's given us.
If it wasn't for him,
we'd be sitting now
in this condemned
building waiting
to play catch with
a wrecking ball.
- Yeah, but what about
Momma and Papa?
They worked so hard to
even give us this much.
- Well yeah,
that's true, Willis,
but did you see
how Dad's face lit up
when we told him we
were changing our names?
- Yeah, I saw.
- Look Willis,
for the first time,
we have a chance
to do something for Dad.
Instead of buying
some stupid gift
with the allowance
money he gives us anyway.
We can't let Dad down.
- Look Arnold, I love
Dad as much as you do.
I just can't go
through with this.
- Well, I hope when you
break the news to Dad,
you don't break his heart too.
- Well shopping in New York
is still as much fun as ever.
- You seem to enjoy yanking
that blouse out of
that lady's hands.
- You know, in Paris people
are much classier than that.
They say (speaking
in foreign language)
and then they yank the blouse.
- Well I noticed when it
was time to pay the bill
that nobody yanked
that out of my hand.
- Well Philip, you
helped to run it out too.
You did buy that
package of Lifesavers.
- Kimberly, I have
to listen to rave
about Paris all afternoon,
I'm ready to get on a plane.
- I'm with you Mr. D.
Paris sounds cool.
- Come on, let's go
try on these things.
- Okay.
- Sam, let's you and
I go in the kitchen.
You can try on some of
this French vanilla ice cream
that Kimberly bought.
- All right!
- Boy Willis.
You were real spaced
out on the way home.
You didn't even
notice when they closed
the subway doors on your face.
- I was trying to think of a
way to explain this to Dad.
- What are you gonna do?
- Do you think running away
and leaving a letter
behind be cowardly?
- Oh, the same
way you dump girls?
- Thanks Arnold.
You know, maybe we're
making a big deal over nothing.
Maybe Dad was
just being nice to us.
You know, I betcha he's
forgotten about this by now.
- Hi guys.
Well, I've started the ball
rolling on the name change.
My lawyer says he'll
have all the papers ready
for me to sign on
my birthday tomorrow.
Listen guys, I have been
on cloud nine all day.
- You hear that?
Cloud nine, he doesn't
even have on his parachute.
Good luck.
- Dad?
You got a minute?
- Oh sure.
I got more than a minute.
Willis Drummond.
- Dad, it's kinda hard
for me to tell you this.
- What's the problem, son?
- Well see, it's just that.
- Hi.
- Kimberly's got a problem.
- Kimberly?
- Mm-hm.
- Willis, how did you know?
- Oh, brother just
knows these things.
- What is it, Kimberly?
- Well Daddy, Paris is
great and everything,
but I really missed home.
I know it sounds ridiculous,
but I missed everything.
Even watching Arnold
talk with his mouth full.
- That is homesickness.
But why didn't you tell me?
- Well Daddy, when
you let me go to Paris,
to me that said you
thought I was mature.
Well how does a mature
person admit that she's homesick?
- Kimberly, homesickness
isn't a sign of immaturity.
It's very natural.
Even now, when I go on a
business trip, I get homesick.
That's only down to Wall Street.
You can come home
anytime that you want to.
I love you and the
door's always open.
- Thank you Daddy.
I think I'm gonna go back
and finish a semester at school
and after that, you
just might be seeing
my face around here.
- Super.
And listen, you
don't have to pretend.
You know you can
always come to me.
- Thanks Daddy,
I guess I forgot.
- And thank you, Willis.
You know, I've got
to learn to be as open
about things as you are.
- Right.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Well, have you
talked to Dad yet?
- Nope, not yet.
- Well I think you
better hurry up
or else he's gonna fall asleep.
But then that might be
the best time to tell him.
- He's not gonna
take it hard at all.
I've changed my mind,
I'm taking Dad's name.
- You are?
Hey Willis, that's great.
What made you change your mind?
- I just couldn't hurt Dad.
You know, he's done more
to keep the Jackson line going
then a name could've
done in a million years.
Kept you and me together.
- Yeah, I can't
imagine life without you.
Although, it would've been
nice to have my own room.
- I just hope Momma
and Papa understand.
- Hey Willis, I'm
sure they understand.
Come on man, let's go to bed.
- Nah, you go ahead Arnold.
I just wanna spend a few
more minutes out here alone.
- Well I guess this is it, huh?
- What do you mean?
- I mean, goodbye
Willis Jackson.
- Right, goodbye Arnold Jackson.
- Oh my goodness, what
a marvelous birthday.
- We've saved
the best gift for last.
- Hey, maybe it'll be
something neat like a GoBot.
(audience laughs)
- You could use it, Philip.
You just broke your Hot Wheels.
- Well, I guess it's time to
sign the name change papers.
- Yup, I have the
papers right here.
Now changing your name
is a very important step.
I have given this
a lot of thought
and a lot of consideration.
So, here we go.
- Dad!
- Maybe we should've
given him a GoBot.
- Dad, I don't understand.
- Dad, what are you doing?
- I have decided that
I don't want you boys
to change your name for me.
- But why?
- What happened?
I thought you
wanted this so bad.
- Well I did.
When that lawyer
handed me those papers
and I looked at them,
I suddenly thought
how would I feel if I
was in your position?
Boys, this was really a loving
gesture and I appreciate it,
but a name is an
important thing.
It's part of your
sense of identity.
It's your link to the
past, your heritage.
I know that I wanna
keep my name.
- But Dad, we
wanna do this for you.
- Now Arnold, Willis, please.
This is the way I want it.
Now the case is closed.
- Ah Dad, I really love you.
- Thank you.
- Yeah, you are the greatest.
- You're a good
man, Charlie Brown.
- I can't argue with that.
- We still have to get
Dad a birthday gift.
- No, we don't.
- Oh, fantastic.
Thank you.
- It's just what
you needed, Philip.
- Absolutely.
What do you think it is?
- It's a PortaButler, Mr. D.
- Dad, it does everything.
It's a shoehorn, a nail clipper,
a tweezer, a toothbrush,
a toothpick, and a spoon.
- How often do you
have to rotate its tires?
No, I'm just kidding.
No, I really love it.
It's great, guys.
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪
♪ That nobody can deny ♪
(audience applauds)
♪ Now the world don't move
to the beat of just one drum ♪
♪ What might be right for you ♪
♪ May not be right for some ♪
♪ A man is born,
he's a man of means ♪
♪ Then along come two, they
got nothing but their jeans ♪
♪ But they got,
Diff'rent Strokes ♪
♪ It takes, Diff'rent Strokes ♪
♪ It takes, Diff'rent
Strokes to rule the world. ♪
♪ Yes it does ♪
♪ It takes, Diff'rent
Strokes to rule the world ♪
to the beat of just one drum ♪
♪ What might be right for you ♪
♪ May not be right for some ♪
♪ A man is born,
he's a man of means ♪
♪ Then along come two, they
got nothing but their jeans ♪
♪ But they got,
Diff'rent Strokes ♪
♪ It takes, Diff'rent Strokes ♪
♪ It takes, Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world ♪
♪ Everybody's got a
special kind of story ♪
♪ Everybody finds
a way to shine ♪
♪ It don't matter that
you got not a lot ♪
♪ So what ♪
♪ They'll have theirs,
and you'll have yours ♪
♪ And I'll have mine ♪
♪ And together we'll be fine ♪
♪ 'Cause it takes, Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world ♪
♪ Yes it does ♪
♪ It takes, Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world ♪
- Hi Pearl.
- Hi Pearl.
- Look, we just got
Dad's birthday gift.
- For the man who
has everything.
- He's got 20 of everything.
- I know.
- Except this.
What is it?
- It's a PortaButler, Pearl.
Look, it's a shoehorn.
Neat, huh?
Corkscrew.
Spoon.
And a nail clipper.
- Dad can eat spoon and
clip his nails at the same time.
See, its got a 101 uses.
It's got 100 uses.
- So, what do you think
about our PortaButler, Pearl?
- Well, it certainly is Porta.
- You don't like it, do ya?
It's dumb, right?
See, I told you we
should've never shopped
at Maury The Surplus King.
- It's fine, Willis.
It's certainly beats your
idea of calling Kimberly
at her school in Paris
and having her send over
a can-can dancer.
- That wasn't for Dad.
That was for Willis.
Hey Willis, it's a great gift.
Look, it even came
with a guarantee.
- Let the buyer beware.
Best wishes, Maury.
- Well, I guess that'll
teach you to buy from a guy
with only one side burn.
(audience laughs)
Hey Sam, come here.
Take a look at our
birthday gift we got for Dad.
Isn't it neat?
- Real neat.
- So Sam, what are you
and Maggie getting Dad?
- I already told
you I can't tell you.
- Ah, come on, Sam.
You must be getting
something really big
because you and
Maggie acting real strange
even for southerners.
(audience laughs)
- Come on, Sam, give.
- It is big and it's a surprise.
Sorry.
- Come on, Sam!
I mean, you gotta tell us.
What good is a secret if
you can't tell someone?
- Hello, hello.
- Hi Maggie.
- You got home
just in time, Momma.
I was getting lots of pressure.
- Do they try tying
you to an anthill?
- Worse.
- Poor baby.
Well Sam, you're home free now
because our surprise
is out in the hall.
- Where's Philip?
- He's upstairs.
- Philip Drummond,
front and center!
- [Philip] Be right down!
- Maggie, will you us a hint?
Is it animal,
vegetable, or mineral?
- I guess animal. (giggles)
- Well that animal better
be house trained or I quit.
- What's going on?
I came as quick as I could.
What's happening?
- Now Philip, I know your
birthday is still two days away,
but Sam and I wanna
give you a present now.
So you can share it
with the whole family.
- Now?
Really?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Well that's not the same
as getting it on birthday.
No, I think I'd rather wait.
- [All] No!
- That's what I said,
the sooner the better.
- I hope this is worth the wait.
- Let 'em try and
stop our PortaButler.
- Ladies and gentleman,
boys and girls.
The biggest birthday
surprise ever.
Introducing the one, the
only direct from Paris, France,
Kimberly Drummond!
- Happy birthday Daddy!
(cheering)
(audience applauds)
Hi.
- Oh Maggie, thank you for
making me open my present.
- Oh wow, this is great.
Kimberly, that's even
better than a can-can dancer.
- You must be starving.
What can I get ya?
- Well, I'm really
into French food,
but Pearl, I would
just love to have one
of your sloppy joes.
- You got it, I'll go
extra heavy on the slop.
- Maggie, Sam, thank you.
I still can't believe my
daughter's really here.
- Me neither.
Daddy, you look terrific.
- Thank you, sweetheart.
- And you look as
handsome as ever.
- I've always looked
as handsome as ever.
- She was talking to me.
- How was she talking to you?
She was looking at me.
- I'm the better looking
of the two brothers.
- You're down
there, I'm up here.
- I'm handsome.
- No, you're not.
I'm gorgeous too.
Look, I got all the women.
- She was looking right at me
when she said that.
- I see nothing's
changed around here
except maybe your
heads gotten a little bigger.
- You're right, Willis.
She was talking to you.
(audience laughs)
- Sam, you've grown so much.
- And I'm getting
lots of muscles too.
- Ooh!
- The second grade
voted him hunk of the year.
- It's getting harder and
harder to push him around.
- Well Miss Kimberly,
it sure looks like
Paris agrees with you.
- Oh, it sure does.
If I didn't have a
family with birthdays,
I'd probably never leave Paris.
(speaking in foreign language)
- Does that mean you like it?
- Daddy, it's wonderful.
Ooh, I've just seen so
many different things,
strange customs, unusual people.
- But you've got that
right here with Willis.
(audience laughs)
- And the River Seine runs right
through the center of the city.
Paris has got to be the
greatest city in the world.
- You wouldn't said if
you've been to Tulsa.
(audience laughs)
- Well, it sounds like
Paris hasn't changed.
I remember being
there years ago.
And taking a moonlit boat
ride down the River Seine,
past the cathedral Notre-Dame.
It was so romantic.
It was just me
and my accountant.
- Who cares about a bunch
of rivers and cathedrals?
I wanna know about
those French women?
- You'd love them, Willis.
- As often as I could.
I just see myself now.
Every time a
mademoiselle walked by,
I'd give her a little
tip of my beret.
Say, "Ooh la la, foxy momma."
I'd be the biggest attraction
since the Eiffel Tower.
- Yeah, tourists would pay
good money to climb your ego.
- Here it is, Kimberly.
- Ooh, thank you Pearl.
Daddy, here's my
present for you.
- Oh Kimberly!
I didn't need anything
besides your being here.
What an elegant wrapping.
- I don't think it's a tie.
- Uh-oh, you don't think
she stole the Mona Lisa?
- Come on, Daddy, open it.
- Well then I won't have
anything to open on my birthday.
- You still have
Arnold and Willis'.
- All right. (audience laughs)
Oh, it's the
Drummond family tree.
Thank you, Kimberly.
- Oh, you're welcome.
- You know, they say if
we go back far enough,
we're all related.
Right, little bro?
Give me five.
Right on.
I'll go make some fresh coffee.
French roast.
- I hope you like it, Daddy.
I thought it'd be
a little different.
- It's different, but it's
definitely Dad's family tree.
Look, instead of
leaves it's got dollar bills.
- Oh, stop it.
- Momma, is a family tree
what they hung great,
great Uncle Holly from?
- No.
Sam, honey, that was an oak.
Sam, this tree is a
chart of Philip's heritage.
It traces his ancestors
all the way back
to the beginning of his family.
- And we've had a
pretty famous family too.
- Right.
See Sam, my
great-great-great-great Uncle Philip
was instrumental in helping
Washington cross the Delaware.
- Boy, he sounds
pretty brave, Mr. D.
- Well not that brave, Sam.
He stowed in the boats.
And there's my grandfather
and my grandmother,
my mother, my
father, me, my sister,
her husbands,
Glenn, Mitch, Albert.
And Muzzle-bun.
There's Kimberly and
there's Willis and Arnold.
Hey, and there's Mom and me.
This is really neat.
- Hey Dad, shouldn't
there be more empty boxes
under us for the future?
- We don't need anymore, Willis.
You see, Sam will carry
on the McKinney name
and you boys will carry
on the Jackson name,
but I am the last one to
carry the Drummond name.
- What about Kimberly?
- Well Sam, someday
if Kimberly marries,
she'll probably change
to her husband's name.
- Right.
- Well that's kinda sad, Dad.
You're the last male Drummond.
- Oh, it's no big deal.
We can't always
expect things to work out
just the way we
anticipated they will.
- Yup, I never
thought I'd end up
with a little red-headed
brother who break dances
to Slim Whitman.
(audience laughs)
- Well, I could sure
use a good night's sleep.
- Philip, are you all right?
- Oh sure, I'm
just a little tired.
I had a big day.
- Well I'm with you.
Good night all.
- Good night.
- Good night.
- Good night, carrot top.
- Good night, Kimberly.
- Good night Maggie,
good night Daddy.
I'm gonna hang out with
Willis and Arnold for awhile,
catch up on things.
- Okay sweetheart.
I'm really glad you're home.
- Oh Daddy, it's
nice to be home.
- Good night, boys.
- Night.
- Night Dad.
Night everyone.
- Boy, Dad seems a little
sad over that name thing.
- Well Arnold, it really is sad.
Our family goes
back over 500 years
and after Daddy, that's it.
- I wish there was
something we could do
to make Dad feel better.
- Yeah.
Hey!
I just got a great idea.
It'll make Dad feel better
and it'll be his best
birthday present ever.
- You're gonna sew
your mouth shut.
- Funny, Willis.
This idea is great.
It's super, it's stupendous.
- Well, what is it?
- It's Albert Einstein,
it's genius quality.
- Good night, Kimberly.
- Good night, Willis.
- Hey, hey, hey,
where you guys going?
Come back here.
I mean, let me enjoy this.
It's not that often I
get such a great idea.
- That's for sure.
- All right listen, here it is.
Willis, what if you and I changed
our last name to Drummond?
- Change our name?
I don't know, Arnold.
But on the other hand, it
would give Dad someone
to carry on his name.
- Two someones.
- Oh, Daddy would
really love that.
You know Arnold, it
really is a great idea.
- You don't have
to act that surprised.
- That's great.
Come on, let's tell
Dad about it right now.
- Now?
- Yeah.
- Hey Dad!
- Daddy!
- Come down, Dad!
- We got a surprise.
- What is it?
- [Arnold] Hurry up!
Hurry up!
- We gotta tell you now.
- Come on, Dad.
Dad, we've got another
big surprise for you.
- Another surprise?
How much do you
think I can take?
This is the best birthday ever.
- Dad, Willis and I
decided to give you us.
(audience laughs)
- Thanks Arnold, but
I already have an us.
- No Dad, what Arnold
means is we have decided
to change our name to Drummond.
- What?
Why that's wonderful!
Are you sure you wanna do it?
It's a big step.
- We're sure, Dad.
- Well, I...
- I think he likes the idea.
- This is incredible.
I feel like the luckiest
man in the world.
How can I ever thank you?
- Don't worry, Dad, we'll
think of something expensive.
(audience laughs)
- Daddy, isn't this great?
Now the Drummond name
really will live on forever.
- It sure will especially
the way Willis operates.
Well, this is just terrific.
I hope you boys know
how much this means to me.
- Of course we do, Dad.
- Hey, let me see how it sounds.
Arnold Drummond.
A.D., the big A.D.
Hey, that's noble.
That's classy, that's me.
- That's both of you.
- Well I probably
can't fall asleep now,
but I certainly
have to give it a try.
- Well Kimberly, you're
gonna sleep like a log tonight.
It's almost 4:00 in
the morning your time.
- Oh really?
Well I don't feel tired at all.
Just kidding, I
really am very tired.
- Bonsoir.
- Good night.
- Sweet dreams.
- Night Dad, night Maggie.
- Well we for sure
made Dad's day.
Boy, did you see
how happy he was?
I wish we had thought of this
the year we gave
him that ant farm.
Hey Willis, what's wrong?
- Arnold, I made a big mistake.
- Uh-oh, Willis.
I hope you're not gonna say
what I think you're gonna say.
- I can't change my name.
- You said it.
Willis, coming up
here is ridiculous.
- Arnold, don't you ever get
misty-eyed for our old home?
- Yeah, from all this dust.
- Arnold.
- Willis, this isn't
our old home.
This is just a shell, a wreck.
- Arnold, this is
where we grew up.
They're knocking
down our building.
And knocking down our roots.
- If our roots don't
knock us first.
- Look Arnold, that
corner was our bedroom.
I remember when we had the cots
all pushed up against the wall.
- Yeah, actually
it was kinda nice.
When we got sent to our room,
we didn't have to go anywhere.
- I remember on Sunday nights,
we all use to sit around
here in the kitchen,
you, me, Momma, Papa.
Papa use to tell us old stories
about when he was in the war.
- Do you believe
he was exaggerating
on some of those
stories about his exploits?
I mean, it's kinda hard to
believe a cook snorkeled
into Tokyo Bay with
the surrender terms.
- Those were the good old days.
Look Arnold, first Momma
and Papa passed away
and now they're tearing
down our building.
And on top of that,
we're giving up our name.
Arnold, Dad may be the
last of the Drummonds,
but we're the last
of the Jacksons.
- But you already promised Dad.
Do you know how badly
you're gonna hurt him?
- Yeah, I know.
- Willis, I know it's
a hard thing to do,
but that's what makes
the gift so special to Dad.
- This is the pits.
- Look Willis, we
have to think of Dad.
I mean, look at
what he's done for us,
the life he's given us.
If it wasn't for him,
we'd be sitting now
in this condemned
building waiting
to play catch with
a wrecking ball.
- Yeah, but what about
Momma and Papa?
They worked so hard to
even give us this much.
- Well yeah,
that's true, Willis,
but did you see
how Dad's face lit up
when we told him we
were changing our names?
- Yeah, I saw.
- Look Willis,
for the first time,
we have a chance
to do something for Dad.
Instead of buying
some stupid gift
with the allowance
money he gives us anyway.
We can't let Dad down.
- Look Arnold, I love
Dad as much as you do.
I just can't go
through with this.
- Well, I hope when you
break the news to Dad,
you don't break his heart too.
- Well shopping in New York
is still as much fun as ever.
- You seem to enjoy yanking
that blouse out of
that lady's hands.
- You know, in Paris people
are much classier than that.
They say (speaking
in foreign language)
and then they yank the blouse.
- Well I noticed when it
was time to pay the bill
that nobody yanked
that out of my hand.
- Well Philip, you
helped to run it out too.
You did buy that
package of Lifesavers.
- Kimberly, I have
to listen to rave
about Paris all afternoon,
I'm ready to get on a plane.
- I'm with you Mr. D.
Paris sounds cool.
- Come on, let's go
try on these things.
- Okay.
- Sam, let's you and
I go in the kitchen.
You can try on some of
this French vanilla ice cream
that Kimberly bought.
- All right!
- Boy Willis.
You were real spaced
out on the way home.
You didn't even
notice when they closed
the subway doors on your face.
- I was trying to think of a
way to explain this to Dad.
- What are you gonna do?
- Do you think running away
and leaving a letter
behind be cowardly?
- Oh, the same
way you dump girls?
- Thanks Arnold.
You know, maybe we're
making a big deal over nothing.
Maybe Dad was
just being nice to us.
You know, I betcha he's
forgotten about this by now.
- Hi guys.
Well, I've started the ball
rolling on the name change.
My lawyer says he'll
have all the papers ready
for me to sign on
my birthday tomorrow.
Listen guys, I have been
on cloud nine all day.
- You hear that?
Cloud nine, he doesn't
even have on his parachute.
Good luck.
- Dad?
You got a minute?
- Oh sure.
I got more than a minute.
Willis Drummond.
- Dad, it's kinda hard
for me to tell you this.
- What's the problem, son?
- Well see, it's just that.
- Hi.
- Kimberly's got a problem.
- Kimberly?
- Mm-hm.
- Willis, how did you know?
- Oh, brother just
knows these things.
- What is it, Kimberly?
- Well Daddy, Paris is
great and everything,
but I really missed home.
I know it sounds ridiculous,
but I missed everything.
Even watching Arnold
talk with his mouth full.
- That is homesickness.
But why didn't you tell me?
- Well Daddy, when
you let me go to Paris,
to me that said you
thought I was mature.
Well how does a mature
person admit that she's homesick?
- Kimberly, homesickness
isn't a sign of immaturity.
It's very natural.
Even now, when I go on a
business trip, I get homesick.
That's only down to Wall Street.
You can come home
anytime that you want to.
I love you and the
door's always open.
- Thank you Daddy.
I think I'm gonna go back
and finish a semester at school
and after that, you
just might be seeing
my face around here.
- Super.
And listen, you
don't have to pretend.
You know you can
always come to me.
- Thanks Daddy,
I guess I forgot.
- And thank you, Willis.
You know, I've got
to learn to be as open
about things as you are.
- Right.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Well, have you
talked to Dad yet?
- Nope, not yet.
- Well I think you
better hurry up
or else he's gonna fall asleep.
But then that might be
the best time to tell him.
- He's not gonna
take it hard at all.
I've changed my mind,
I'm taking Dad's name.
- You are?
Hey Willis, that's great.
What made you change your mind?
- I just couldn't hurt Dad.
You know, he's done more
to keep the Jackson line going
then a name could've
done in a million years.
Kept you and me together.
- Yeah, I can't
imagine life without you.
Although, it would've been
nice to have my own room.
- I just hope Momma
and Papa understand.
- Hey Willis, I'm
sure they understand.
Come on man, let's go to bed.
- Nah, you go ahead Arnold.
I just wanna spend a few
more minutes out here alone.
- Well I guess this is it, huh?
- What do you mean?
- I mean, goodbye
Willis Jackson.
- Right, goodbye Arnold Jackson.
- Oh my goodness, what
a marvelous birthday.
- We've saved
the best gift for last.
- Hey, maybe it'll be
something neat like a GoBot.
(audience laughs)
- You could use it, Philip.
You just broke your Hot Wheels.
- Well, I guess it's time to
sign the name change papers.
- Yup, I have the
papers right here.
Now changing your name
is a very important step.
I have given this
a lot of thought
and a lot of consideration.
So, here we go.
- Dad!
- Maybe we should've
given him a GoBot.
- Dad, I don't understand.
- Dad, what are you doing?
- I have decided that
I don't want you boys
to change your name for me.
- But why?
- What happened?
I thought you
wanted this so bad.
- Well I did.
When that lawyer
handed me those papers
and I looked at them,
I suddenly thought
how would I feel if I
was in your position?
Boys, this was really a loving
gesture and I appreciate it,
but a name is an
important thing.
It's part of your
sense of identity.
It's your link to the
past, your heritage.
I know that I wanna
keep my name.
- But Dad, we
wanna do this for you.
- Now Arnold, Willis, please.
This is the way I want it.
Now the case is closed.
- Ah Dad, I really love you.
- Thank you.
- Yeah, you are the greatest.
- You're a good
man, Charlie Brown.
- I can't argue with that.
- We still have to get
Dad a birthday gift.
- No, we don't.
- Oh, fantastic.
Thank you.
- It's just what
you needed, Philip.
- Absolutely.
What do you think it is?
- It's a PortaButler, Mr. D.
- Dad, it does everything.
It's a shoehorn, a nail clipper,
a tweezer, a toothbrush,
a toothpick, and a spoon.
- How often do you
have to rotate its tires?
No, I'm just kidding.
No, I really love it.
It's great, guys.
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪
♪ That nobody can deny ♪
(audience applauds)
♪ Now the world don't move
to the beat of just one drum ♪
♪ What might be right for you ♪
♪ May not be right for some ♪
♪ A man is born,
he's a man of means ♪
♪ Then along come two, they
got nothing but their jeans ♪
♪ But they got,
Diff'rent Strokes ♪
♪ It takes, Diff'rent Strokes ♪
♪ It takes, Diff'rent
Strokes to rule the world. ♪
♪ Yes it does ♪
♪ It takes, Diff'rent
Strokes to rule the world ♪