Diff'rent Strokes (1978–1986): Season 7, Episode 14 - Arnold Saves the Squirrel - full transcript

Upon hearing that Sam's favorite morning show host will be losing his show due to cancellation and replaced by Maggie's exercise show, Arnold organizes a letter-writing campaign to try and save the show.

♪ Now, the world don't move
to the beat of just one drum ♪

♪ What might be right for
you may not be right for some ♪

♪ A man is born ♪

♪ He's a man of means ♪

♪ Then, along come two,
they got nothin' but their jeans ♪

♪ But they got
different strokes ♪

♪ It takes different strokes ♪

♪ It takes different strokes ♪

♪ To move the world ♪

♪ Everybody's got a
special kind of story ♪

♪ Everybody finds
a way to shine ♪



♪ It don't matter that you
got not a lot, so what ♪

♪ They'll have theirs,
and you'll have yours ♪

♪ And I'll have mine ♪

♪ And together we'll be fine ♪

♪ 'Cause it takes different
strokes to move the world ♪

♪ Yes, it does ♪

♪ It takes different
strokes to move the world ♪

- Hey gang, we'll be right
to the Sandy Squirrel Show

right after this commercial.

So, hang on to your walnut hats.

(laughing)

(children cheering)

- Boy, did Sam look funny
sitting in the nut gallery.

- Yeah, wearing
that stupid walnut hat.



(audience laughing)

- Say, sorry to be late, gang.

The limo broke down,
I had to take the bus

all the way from
Wall Street to here.

- Dad, there's not bus that
runs from Wall Street to here.

- There is if you tip the
driver a hundred bucks.

For a thousand
bucks, he told me he'd

take me to the Bahamas.

(audience laughing)

Hey, I can't wait to see Sam.

How does he look on TV?

- Short.

- But cute.

The red-headed
peanut's really excited.

- You know, I just
can't believe it.

First you Willis, then
Arnold, now Sam,

growing up with Sandy Squirrel.

- Call me crazy, but
that big brown squirrel

can climb up into my
treehouse any time.

(laughing)

Oh, look.

- And now, for my
final magic trick,

I'll need an assistant.

Hey, how 'bout you, Sam?

- Me?

You mean it?

You're not kidding, are you?

- Does this look
like I'm kidding?

C'mon.

- Look, Mama.

- That's my son.

Isn't he wonderful?

(audience laughing)

- And now, for my magic trick
I'll need my wand, of course.

Now, where is it?

Oh, I gave it to you, Sam.

- Wow.

How'd you do that?

- Top squirrel secret.

(children cheering)

Yay!

Thank you, Sam, you little nut.

Wasn't he great?

- Yes, you were.

- Okay gang, let's give Sam
a great big squirrel salute.

(audience laughing)

Hey, did we have fun?

(children cheering)

Well, we've been together
a long time, right gang?

- [Children] Yeah.

- And we've been friends
for a long time, right gang?

- [Children] Yeah.

- Well, I've got a bit of news.

You know, believe it
or not, Sandy Squirrel

isn't in charge of the woods
around here at channel eight.

In fact, there's a forest
ranger who's, well,

more concerned with
the ratings than he is fires,

and he had me up his
watchtower yesterday,

and he told me that
Friday is my last show.

Sandy Squirrel
has been canceled.

- [Children] Aww.

- Oh dear.

- Canceled?

- What'll happen to Sandy?

- Oh, c'mon, that luck guy.

He'll retire to a six-room
tree overlooking the park.

(audience laughing)

- C'mon Dad, that's not funny.

I mean, life must be tough
on an out-of-work squirrel.

He could wind up in the
gutter eating old Beer Nuts,

out of an old brown paper bag.

(audience laughing)

- You mean, we'll never
see you again, Sandy?

- That's right, but
we'll still be friends.

Come on Sam, you
little nut, give us a smile.

C'mon, what do we
sing when we're sad?

We sing the happy song.

(perky music)

♪ First you hop to the left ♪

♪ Then you hop to the right ♪

♪ You wiggle wiggle wiggle
till we do it oh so right ♪

♪ Take the hand on your left ♪

♪ Take the hand on your right ♪

♪ You push up both your cheeks ♪

♪ And you do it, do it, do it ♪

♪ Till you smile so so bright ♪

(crying)

Goodbye kids.

(audience laughing)

- Man, Sam sure was
taking it hard on TV,

but he can't be half
as upset as I am.

- Why?

You don't even watch the
Sandy Squirrel Show anymore.

- I know, but I like anything

that keeps Sam out of my hair.

(audience laughing)

- Well, if Sam's upset,
he should do what I do.

Take it like a trooper,

keep a stiff upper lip

and rise above it all.

(crying)

(audience laughing)

- [Arnold] Hey, Sam.

- Hey, how you doin', Sam?

- How you feelin'?

- Terrible.

I feel like I just lost
my best squirrel.

(audience laughing)

What am I gonna
do without Sandy?

- Oh, c'mon Sam.

Honey, it's like old Uncle
Beauregarde always said,

every cloud has a silver lining.

Of course, one day
he was hit by lightning.

(audience laughing)

- We gotta do something
to cheer him up.

- Give him money.

- Now, Arnold,
do you really think

that's gonna cheer him up?

- Always works for me.

(audience laughing)

(phone ringing)

- I'll get it.

Drummond residence.

Yes, she is.

It's for you, Maggie.

(blows nose)

- Thank you, Pearl.

I'll just get it in the den.

(audience laughing)

You just hang in there, sugar.

- I'll try.

- Oh, hi darling.

Sam's still real upset.

- Oh, don't worry, I'll
put a smile on his face.

- Right, then you can
try and get Boy George

to join the Marines.

(audience laughing)

- Now, listen Sam, if it'll
make you feel any better,

when I was a kid, they
canceled my favorite show, too.

Fibber McGee and Molly.

- Huh?

- It was on the radio.

- Huh?

(audience laughing)

- You know radio?

It has dials.

Only in those days, we
kept them in the house

and not on our shoulder.

(audience laughing)

- Laugh it up, Sam.

It's not that often
Dad tells a funny joke.

- Yeah.

The last funny one
he told was in 197...

- Arnold!

(audience laughing)

- Please listen.

Listen everybody.

Listen, I just got the greatest
news about my exercise show.

The most fabulous, and
wonderful, and terrific news.

- Well, are you gonna tell us,

or do we have to
wait for film at 11.

- Yeah.

- C'mon what is it?

- My show is moving from the
cable station to channel eight!

- [Sam] Yay!

- [Arnold] All right!

- Congratulations.

Congratulations.

- That's great, Mama!

- Hey, channel eight
that's a pretty big station.

And with the size of
some of those women

on your exercise show,

you could use a bigger station.

(audience laughing)

- Channel eight
is Sandy's station.

Hey, wait a minute,
what time is your

show gonna be on, Mama?

- Four o'clock.

- Four o'clock?!

Mama, that's when Sandy's on!

- Oh, it looks like
you're replacing Sandy.

- Oh gosh, I didn't realize Sam.

Honey, I'm so sorry.

- You should be!

You're...

You're a squirrel killer!

- Well, thank you Pearl.

I thought you were going
to your aerobics class.

- I'll never go to
aerobics again.

Aerobics is what killed Sandy.

(audience laughing)

- Hello, hello, hello.

- [Maggie] Hello, hello, hello.

- How are you
feeling, sugar plum?

- Pretty good.

Considering that I have
been branded a squirrel killer.

Maybe I'll just try for the
big time and beat up Bambi.

(audience laughing)

- Here you are, darling?

(gasps)

We've all been so
concerned about Sam,

I almost forgot about my
talented wife's good news.

- Oh, Phillip, thank you.

That's so sweet.

I'd better watch out.

Sam, might've
put a bee in there.

- No, he wouldn't do that.

Ow!

(audience laughing)

Hey, listen you've
really worked hard

to get your show
moved to a bigger station.

I know how important
that is to you.

- You're right, it is Phillip.

Don't get me wrong.

I want very much to have
my own successful career,

but it's no fun getting it at
someone else's expense.

Especially, somebody
who means so much to Sam.

- But you can't take
the blame, Maggie.

It's out of your hands.

- I know.

I called the station manager,

and I begged him
leave Sandy in his spot

and change me to another place.

- What did he say?

- He said, do I know
anybody who'd like to buy

a used squirrel suit
with four new paws

and a reconditioned tail.

- Well, I'm glad that you're
on to a bigger station,

I won't have to hang a
coathanger out the window

to get your show.

(audience laughing)

- Well, Sam feeling any better?

- Let me put it
this way, Maggie.

He's going through
the family album

cutting your picture out.

Dad looks pretty funny
feeding wedding cake

to a hole in the paper.

(audience laughing)

- Hey, Sam, old pal.

Listen, there are
plenty of other television

shows you like to
watch, aren't there?

Like Marvin the Moose,
or Calvin the Cat,

or Eli the Elephant.

Oh c'mon, I know you love
the Eli the Elephant welcome.

(audience laughing)

C'mon, let's see you
do the welcome, Sam.

- You guys don't understand.

Sandy was more than
just a bunch of cartoons,

he taught me lots of stuff.

- Hey, Sam's right.

That squirrel taught me
how to brush my teeth

and tie my shoes.

- I thought that I
taught you that?

(audience laughing)

- Well, I let you think that.

But you're old enough
to handle the truth now.

(audience laughing)

- Sam, Sam, guess what?

We're having your
favorite dessert tonight.

Hot fudge sundaes.

- Hot fudge sundaes?!

- That's right.

With cherries, and
whipped cream, and nuts.

- Nuts.

Poor Sandy.

- You had him
till you got to nuts.

(audience laughing)

Hey Sam, why don't you read
that poem you wrote about Sandy.

- Yeah, hey, we'd
like to hear that.

- All right.

It's called Fun
Times with Sandy.

- Hey, that's a great title.

- What a lovely thing to do.

Read it, Sam.

- I'm sitting here on my bed.

Picturing you up in my head.

I think of all the funny
things you've said.

To bad Mama made you dead.

- Sam, why don't you go
easy on her and boil her in oil?

(audience laughing)

- Sam.

It is not your mama's fault
that Sandy's show got canceled.

- Well, instead of sulking,
and complaining, and blaming,

why don't you do
something positive?

Why don't you start a
letter writing campaign,

try to save the show?

- Now, that's not a bad idea.

That's what they did when they
canceled Cagney and Lacey.

- That's right, the fans
sent in so many letters,

they had to put the
show back on the air.

- You mean there are
really crazy people out there

that write to TV shows?

- I did.

That Cagney's a knockout.

(audience laughing)

- What about it?

You gonna give it a shot?

- You wouldn't be mad, Mama?

- Of course not, darling.

I'm behind you 100%.

- Then, I'll go for it.

I'm gonna save Sandy.

- You can do it, Sam.

And you'll be great.

You'll get petitions.

You'll meet a lot of people.

You're really gonna
have a lot of fun.

- Will you help me, Arnold?

- No.

- C'mon, Arnold.

That's what big
brothers are for.

- I can't hear you.

(audience laughing)

- It'll mean a lot
to him, Arnold.

- No, Mr. D.

I understand.

- Oh Sam, please.

Not the hound dog eyes.

(audience laughing)

All right, when
do we get started.

- Yippee!

That's right where I sit.

You wanna sit in the
nut gallery too, Mr. D?

- That's very tempting
Sam, but I think

I'd better go and see
if I can find Sandy,

so you guys can talk to him.

- How about you?

You wanna sit in the
nut gallery, Arnold?

- No, Sam.

Kid's stuff.

Hey, why don't you
check Sandy's treehouse,

and see if he's home.

- All right, maybe he is.

I hope so.

- Oh, excuse me, Sandy.

- Oh.

- My name is Phillip Drummond.

- Oh!

(audience laughing)

- Hi.

- You must be
one of the daddies.

I love to meet the parents.

- Well, I just wanna tell
you what a wonderful

influence you've
been on my kids.

You know, many times,
the kids will pay attention

to you when they won't
listen to their parents.

I guess, maybe I should've
worn a tail all these years.

- Well, I'll thank you for
appreciating all these years

I've been on the air.

- Yeah, well, we certainly do.

As a matter of fact,
that's why we're here.

My boys would like to talk to
you about a plan they have.

If you don't mind?

- Oh, I'd love to.

- Oh, that's fine,
we'd appreciate it.

Oh, and by the way,
the boys know that you're

a grown up man, so you
don't have to talk like that.

- Talk like what?

- Yeah.

(audience laughing)

Here he is, boys.

I'll meet you in the car.

- [Arnold] Okay.

- Oh, thanks for the
big squirrel hug, Sam.

- Hey, what you got
in the box, Sandy?

- Oh, 20 years of
squirrel memories.

It's amazing what
one can collect.

- [Arnold] Yeah.

- [Sandy] Yeah, look at this.

- Hey, that's you
and President Nixon.

- That's right.

That's President Nixon
pinching my cheeks.

And that's me
pinching his jowls.

(audience laughing)

Ah, those were
the good old days.

- Maybe we can stop
them from canceling.

- Oh, c'mon, don't toy
with a down-and-out

squirrel's emotions.

No, it's over for me.

Finito.

- Sandy, we've got
everyone to sign a petition

that'll help keep
you on the air.

- Oh, let me see that.

- Yeah, we even got our
goldfish, Abraham to sign it.

He's the one where the ink ran.

- [Sandy] Oh.

- Hey, Sandy baby,
how's my main squirrel?

- Boys, this is the station
manager, John Anderson.

- Hi, kids.

Bad news about Sandarino, huh?

I'm sick about it.

Just sick.

- You should be, you're
the one who's taking me off.

(audience laughing)

- Mr. Anderson, as loyal
viewers of channel eight

we'd like to talk to
you about something.

- Sure thing, I'm never
too busy for a viewer.

- Well, it's about
Sandy's show...

- Not now, kid.

I got things to do.

- Hey, wait a
minute, Mr. Anderson.

Look at this petition.

People are banding together.

Huge mobs in the
streets yelling, Sandy!

Sandy! Sandy!
- Sandy! Sandy!

- Really?

How many names
do you have there?

- 11.

- 11?

That would sound more like,

(whispering) Sandy.
Sandy. Sandy.

(audience laughing)

Look, kids for your
petition to have any impact,

you'd need 10,000 signatures.

- 10,000?

- Oh boy.

- I'll tell you what, you
bring me 10,000 letters

by Friday morning,

and I'll keep that lovable
nut eater on the air.

- But today is Tuesday.

We can't possibly get 10,000
letters by Friday morning.

- All right, all right.

Friday afternoon.

I'm such a pushover for kids.

Anyway, Sandy I just read
the script for your farewell show.

Love it, love it.

I cried.

I gotta run.

Let's have lunch, and
don't tell me you're not free.

(laughing)

Hey, hey, that's an
unemployment joke, Sandaroo.

Lighten up.

You big lovable rodent.

Man wears a squirrel suit.

(audience laughing)

- See, told you it
was all over for me.

Time to hang up my cheeks.

- Don't give up, Sandy.

Arnold and I'll get those
letters by Friday afternoon.

Right Arnold?

- Right Sam.

We'll get 10,000 letters
by Friday afternoon.

We'll give it a big try.

- Don't worry boys,
I feel better already.

- That's good.

- Bye Sandy.

- See you, hang in there.

- I will.

- C'mon.

I will.

So long.

- Bye.

(audience laughing)

- And I am shocked by
your decision to cancel

the squirrel you
idiotic pencil neck.

Warmest regards

Mr...

Mr...

A. Didas.

(audience laughing)

- Well, that's it for me.

That makes 100.

I'm outta here.

- But Willis, we
need 10,000 letters,

and I have to leave for my
Cub Scout meeting soon.

- Hey, I'm sorry Sam,
but I gotta get going, man.

I mean, if I keep my
women waiting too long,

they start going
through Willis withdrawal.

- Yeah, and they get restless,

and they chew
through their leashes.

(audience laughing)

- Keep it up, Arnold,

and you'll be withdrawing
your teeth from this.

- Gotcha.

- Hi boys.

- [Arnold] Hi.

- How is the save the squirrel
campaign coming, boys?

- Great, Mr. D., just great.

- We're trying, Dad.

- Well, that's wonderful.

How many letters
do you have so far?

- 120!

- Amazing.

- I call it impossible.

Let's face it, Sam.

By the time we
write 10,000 letters,

Sandy will be in the old
squirrels home gumming walnuts.

(audience laughing)

- Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Are you two writing all
these letters by yourselves?

- Well, actually,
Willis and I write them,

and Sam does the rest.

(audience laughing)

- Arnold, you are writing
a lot of phony letters.

Now, I told you this should
be an honest viewer protest,

and if you can't find a
way to do it legitimately,

then don't do it at all.

- Then, it's hopeless.

We'll never save Sandy.

- You mean, you're giving up?

- Yep.

It's no use, and besides
that, you're getting glue breath.

(audience laughing)

- This is the end of Sandy?

- I'm afraid so, Sam.

- Sam, honey,
c'mon it's time to go

to your Cub Scout meeting.

- Okay, Mama, but the
guys are gonna real upset

when I tell 'em about Sandy.

- Hmm, Cub Scouts.

You mind if I take
Sam to his meeting?

C'mon, Sam.

- Well, thank
heavens that's all over.

Sam will go to his cub
meeting and forget all about it,

Arnold doesn't have
to write 10,000 letters,

you've got your TV
show on a new station.

Finally, everybody's
happy around here.

(crying)

(audience laughing)

- And so, Sandy on
behalf of your loyal family

here at channel eight,

I'd like to present you
with this farewell gift.

A lovely walnut watch.

- This is my husband.

(audience laughing)

- We wish you didn't
wanna retire, Sandy.

Please reconsider.

I'm begging you.

I'm down on my knees.

Is there anything I can
say to change your mind?

- Well, as a matter of fact...

- Yeah, I didn't think so.

Ah well, too bad, huh kids?

- [Children] Aww.

- Excuse me, Mr. Anderson,
can we give Sandy a gift too?

- Sure, sounds like you're
taking this as hard as I am.

(whistle tweets)

C'mon.

Pack 212, Franklin Square.

Pack three, Harlem.

Pack nine, Queens.

Pack 22, Brooklyn.

Pack 11, Manhattan.

- I don't believe it.

Where did you get
all those letters?

- Remember the other
night when Arnold came

to my Cub Scout meeting?

- Yes, but there are only
10 scouts in your den.

- I know.

They called all
the other troops,

and every scout in
New York started writing.

Arnold called it
a squirrel alert.

- Pack seven, DeWitt Clinton.

Pack two, Far Rockaway.

- Pearl Gallagher, Park Avenue.

(audience laughing)

- Well, Mr. Anderson,
there's your 10,000 letters.

Are you still gonna
cancel Sandy?

- Well, it's not that easy.

- Sandy.

- [Arnold] Aw, c'mon.

- [Crowd] Sandy!

Sandy!

Sandy!

Sandy!

Sandy!

Sandy!

Sandy!

Sandy!

- Hold it, hold it.

Hold it.

You gotta listen
to them, big guy.

Come out of retirement.

What do you say?

What's the good word?

- Raise.

(audience laughing)

A big one.

- [Crowd] Sandy!

Sandy!

Sandy!

Sandy!

- Yeah, okay.

What can I say?

You got it.

(crowd cheering)

- Save your walnut hats!

Brush up your whiskers!

The squirrel is back!

(children cheering)

- Maggie, I really am
sorry about your show,

but you're a very talented lady,

I'm sure you'll have
another chance.

- Oh, thank you, Phillip.

- You're the best big brother
a guy could ever have.

- You're just now
figuring that out?

(audience laughing)

- Hey kids, let's
sing one for Arnold

and all the kids who helped him!

Come on, parents too!

Come on, gang.

(perky music)

Okay everybody.

♪ First you hop to the left ♪

♪ Then you hop to the right ♪

♪ You wiggle wiggle wiggle
till we do it oh so right ♪

♪ Take the hand on your left ♪

♪ Take the hand on your right ♪

♪ You push up both your cheeks ♪

♪ And you do it, do it, do it ♪

♪ Till you smile oh so bright ♪

- [Arnold] All right!

♪ Now, the world don't move
to the beat of just one drum ♪

♪ What might be right for
you, may not be right for some ♪

♪ A man is born ♪

♪ He's a man of means ♪

♪ Then, along come two they
got nothing but their jeans ♪

♪ But they got
different strokes ♪

♪ It takes different strokes ♪

♪ It takes different
strokes to move the world ♪

♪ Yes, it does ♪

♪ It takes different
strokes to move the world ♪

(humming)