Diff'rent Strokes (1978–1986): Season 6, Episode 1 - Mr. T and mr. t - full transcript
With a television camera crew shooting a scene from "The A-Team" in Drummond's apartment, Arnold becomes jealous when Dudley's attractive cousin pays more attention to Mr. T than him. So he decides that the best way to win her over is to dress and look exactly like Mr. T.
♪ Now the world don't move
♪ To the beat of just one drum
♪ What might be right for you
♪ May not be right for some
♪ A man is born
♪ He's a man of means
♪ Then along come two
♪ They got nothing
but their jeans
♪ But they got
♪ Diff'rent strokes
♪ It takes
♪ Diff'rent strokes, it takes
♪ Diff'rent strokes
to move the world
♪ Everybody's got
a special kind of story
♪ Everybody finds a way to shine
♪ It don't matter that you got
♪ Not a lot
♪ So what
♪ They'll have theirs
♪ And you'll have
yours and I'll have mine
♪ And together we'll be fine
♪ 'Cause it takes
♪ Diff'rent strokes
to move the world
♪ Yes it does
♪ It takes
♪ Diff'rent strokes
to move the world
- Oh, Pearl.
I thought you'd left already.
- Oh, no, I was
just about to go.
But I'll be back tomorrow as
soon as I can, Mr Drummond.
- Well, don't you worry, Pearl.
If your mother isn't feeling
better you just take off all
the time that you need.
- Oh, thanks.
Fortunately it was nothing
serious but I still don't
understand why Mother was
riding around on that motorcycle.
- Motorcycle?
- I always thought she meant
her false teeth when she said
she was having trouble
with her choppers.
Oh, look.
Someone must've slipped
this under the door, it's from the
building management company.
- The building
management company.
They probably
increased my rent again.
- Whatever happened
to rent control?
- Nothing, the
landlord still controls it.
- Down with all capitalist pigs.
Oh, except you Mr Drummond.
I'll see ya.
- Give my best to your mother.
Okay, thank you.
- Bye-bye.
- Bye.
- Let's see what this is.
Oh!
Well how about this?
Hey, gang, come
in here a minute.
Yeah, Dad.
- Hey, I wanna
show you something.
- What is it, Dad?
- What is it, Dad?
- Here is a hot news flash.
Show business
comes to Park Avenue.
A television show is going to
be shooting on location in our
building tomorrow and the
management hopes it won't be too
inconvenient for the tenants.
- Hey.
- That's great.
- That's my kinda inconvenience.
I wonder what TV show.
- Hey, maybe somebody in
this building will be discovered.
- Maybe somebody
in this apartment.
- Maybe somebody in my room.
- I'll try not to let
stardom go to my head.
Oh, this is great!
- Arnold, who are you
calling, your agent?
- No, wise guy.
I'm calling Dudley to
tell him the good news.
Hello, Dudley?
It's Arnold.
Guess what.
They're gonna shoot
some big TV show in
our building tomorrow.
No, no kidding.
Come over early so we
can get a front row seat.
What?
Alright, alright,
you both can come.
Just tell your cousin
to stay out of the way.
I don't want anybody hanging
around the actors and buggin'
'em for autographs.
That's my job.
Bye.
Dad, you think one of us
might really get discovered?
No.
I was only joking, Arnold.
I don't think anybody in
this family's gonna be a star.
Although, I understand Spencer
Tracy was discovered rather
late in life.
- Look at all that TV
equipment down there.
- Yeah, look at that crowd.
- What a target for a water bag.
Oh, that's probably
Dudley and his cousin.
He's some cornball from Iowa.
Should be a barrel of laughs.
- Hey, look at that.
I'm coming, I'm coming.
- Hi, Arnold.
This is my cousin Angela.
- He's a girl.
- Hello, Arnold.
- And you're all girl.
Hi.
- Now go sit down, Angela.
I told her to stay out of our
way, like you said, Arnold.
- You must've
misunderstood me, Dudley.
Please.
Take any seat you want.
My penthouse is your penthouse.
- Thank you.
Wow.
This is some pad.
- She's a knockout.
- She is?
It's hard to tell
when you're related.
- You're really pretty, Angela.
You sure don't take after
Dudley's side of the family.
- Thank you.
- Yeah, thank you.
- Arnold, you should see
all the action down the street.
What a sight.
- I'm more interested
in the sights up here.
- Hey, when are they
gonna start filming, Arnold?
- Ah, what's the rush?
Meanwhile, we'll have
a chance to get better
acquainted, little mama.
- You're quite a ladies
man aren't ya, little papa?
- That's 'cause I'm
with quite a lady.
We want that elevator clear.
- Hey, wait a minute.
I hear noises out in the hall.
Hey, maybe they're
gonna shoot out there.
- Oh, let's go see.
Wait a minute.
What kinda gentleman are you?
Ladies first.
Alright, we're gonna shoot
starting here towards the
elevator, they get out of
the elevator, we dolly back
into the hall...
What do you want, kid?
- I live here.
- Alright, well do me a favor.
Move back out of the way,
you'll be in the way here.
Look at what a terrific place.
Early opulence.
Hey, Bobby, come in here!
- Yeah, chief.
- Look at all this room.
Look at that balcony,
look at the view.
- Right, chief.
Look at the balcony,
look at the view.
- Why did you rent that
flea trap down the hall?
That was stupid.
- Right, chief, that was stupid.
We could do the whole
scene right here, it's perfect.
He comes through the door,
he grabs the guy and throws him
out onto the balcony.
- Hey, Arnold.
It sounds like they wanna
shoot the TV show right here
in your apartment.
- Yeah.
That's the way my life is.
One fabulous event
after another one.
- Yeah.
And I'm surprised.
From what Dudley told
me about you I thought you
were a nerd.
- Hey Arnold, who are
those guys out there?
- They're with the TV show.
I think they
wanna do it in here.
- You're kidding!
- Boy, what a
mess it is out there.
They've taken over
the whole building.
I had to wait 10
minutes for an elevator.
Yes, yes.
- Who are those people?
- Hi, there.
Is this your apartment?
- The last time I checked.
- I'm Stanley Pearlburg.
- The Stanley Pearlburg,
you've probably heard of him.
- Oh, I'm afraid not.
The television director.
- Sorry.
- Have you been
out of the country?
- Forgive me but I just don't
watch very much television.
- Oh, well, how would
you like to make a few
extra bucks Mr...
- Drummond.
And I already have
a few extra bucks.
- Right.
Well, maybe we can
donate something to charity.
- Yeah, name your
favorite disease.
- We wanna film part of our
show here, Mr Drummond.
- Here?
Oh, no, I'm afraid not.
That'll be too much of a hassle.
- Oh, Dad.
- Dad.
Come on.
- That'll be fun.
- You're kidding.
For most people this'll
be the dream of lifetime.
- Oh, yeah?
Well I had one about
Raquel Welch I'd stack up
against theirs anytime.
- Dad, reconsider.
I'm trying to impress
this cute little number.
- Well, buy her a pizza.
- Hey, sucka.
Let's get this show on the road.
- Mr T.
- In the flesh.
- What flesh?
It's all muscle.
- And all prime grade A.
You ready for me, Pearly?
- Not, yet, Mr T.
Why don't you go down
stairs and relax in your trailer.
- Yeah, go relax, T baby.
- You call me T baby one
more time and I'mma break every
bone in your
pitiful little body.
- Excuse me, are they
filming The A-Team here?
- That's right.
Yes, The A-Team!
- Dad, The A-Team.
That's my favorite show,
you've just gotta let 'em
shoot here, please!
- No, I don't.
- Oh, please, Dad.
- Dad, think of it as
a cultural experience.
It'll broaden the horizons.
- Yes, come on.
It's The A-Team.
- Broaden our horizons!
- Alright!
Alright, alright.
I don't want my children
to be culturally deprived.
Hooray!
Alright.
- That's terrific, Mr Drummond.
Now, if you'll just come with
me I'll have the production
manager work out
all the arrangements.
- Yeah, all the arrangements.
- Shut up, Bobby.
- I'm gonna go downstairs
and see if George Peppard
is there.
- And I think I'll go see if
there's any starlets that need
to be discovered.
- This is fantastic, Arnold.
- Yeah.
See what I did for
you, sweet pea?
And there's a lot more
where that came from.
- He's so wonderful.
- Thank you.
- I mean Mr T.
- Dudley.
I can't get to first base
with your cousin since
Mr T showed up.
Do you have any suggestions?
- Nope.
- She seems to be
immune to my many charms.
You have any idea
what she goes for?
- No but I know what
she doesn't go for.
- What's that?
- You.
- Alright, Wendy, let's walk
through this scene once.
Alright, you're at the bar.
Alright, got it?
- Got it, Mr Pearlburg.
- Good.
Yeah, good.
Okay, then the doorbell rings.
You cross to it and
you open it expecting to
find your mother.
- What about my mother?
I meant in the script, Mr T.
You all set, you
got all your lines?
- Sure, four grunts and a growl.
I don't know how in the world
I'm gonna remember them all.
Remember 'em
all, funny stuff, T.
- Shut up, Bobby!
- Right.
- Let's get you into makeup, T.
Now, did you have a chance
to look over the lines, you know
what scene we're shooting?
Great.
- Hey, that Mr T
is one cool dude.
- Yeah, he's a real hunk.
- Yeah, big deal.
So is a side of beef.
- Oh, just my luck.
George Peppard isn't
working in this scene.
- But just my luck, that bundle
from heaven over there is.
Think I'll brighten her life
up with a little introduction.
- Oh, who you gonna
introduce her to?
- Hi there.
- Hello.
And who are you?
- Doesn't matter.
This is my penthouse.
- It is?
Are you pulling my leg?
- I'll pull whatever you let me.
So what are you doing tonight?
- I'm having dinner
with my husband.
- So what are you
doing after dinner?
- Polishing my
husband's police badge.
- I can dig it.
- Bobby, where is the
heavy for this scene?
Let's get moving.
- She should've
been here, chief.
Maybe got stuck in traffic.
- Well, we gotta rehearse.
Get me somebody, anybody.
- Right, somebody, anybody.
- Hey, kids, how's it going?
- Oh, it's real exciting.
- Hi, Dad.
- Excuse me.
Mr, Drummond?
- Yes?
- I wonder if you
could help me out.
Seems that one of the actors
is late and I thought maybe you
could fill in for him.
- Me?
I'm no actor.
Although, I did do a number
of plays when I was in college.
As a professional you
probably picked up on that, right?
- No.
But you're here.
- Come on, Dad.
- Yeah.
- Dad, you can do it, Dad.
- It'll be great.
- It'll be fun.
- You're a good actor.
- Oh, alright, why not?
If I learned anything at all
from those Mickey Rooney films
it's that the show must go on.
- Alright!
- Yay!
Go for it, Dad.
- Hey, chief.
Chief, Mr Drummond
said he'd fill in for us.
- Oh, fine.
Good.
Mr Drummond, you
wanna stand about
here.
- Shouldn't I have makeup?
- Well, you don't need it for
rehearsal but go ahead if it's
something you normally
wear around the house.
- Oh, not really.
Oh, maybe occasionally
a little eyeliner.
- Mr T, we're ready for you now.
Mr T, I want you to meet Mr
Drummond, he's gonna stand
in for us.
- Just call me Phil.
What shall I call you?
- Mr T.
- Angela, are you comfortable?
Is there anything you'd like?
- Yes, if you don't mind I'd
like to concentrate on Mr T.
- Alright, Mr T, I think you
know what this scene is.
- Yeah I got it.
- Good.
Alright, Mr Drummond,
you'll be on the couch with...
Wendy, darling.
You're on the couch
with Mr Drummond.
Mr T has entered the room.
He sees you with his girlfriend.
You're coming on to her.
No, get a little closer, you've
got your arm around her.
I've gotta line up the shot.
Wendy, help him out.
Good, oh yes, that's perfect.
Alright, now Mr
T crosses to you.
He's really steaming.
He picks the villain up.
- What?
- That's my woman, dead man.
Good, perfect.
Throws the man against the
wall and he stomps on his head
and he mashes his face!
- Hold on, wait a minute.
Time.
Would you put me down, please?
- What's the problem?
- I'm afraid you'll
strain yourself.
- Are you kidding?
My gold chains
weigh more than you.
- Put him down,
we'll go to lunch.
Lunch, one hour.
- They servin'
my favorite today.
Quiche.
- Daddy, are you okay?
- Dad, are you okay, Dad?
- Are you alright,
how do you feel?
- Of course.
Why do you ask?
- Well, you looked
pretty scared up there.
- I was supposed to
show fear and I did.
Pretty good acting, huh?
- Not as good as
you're doing right now.
- Well, Mr Drummond,
thanks for your help.
Why don't you and your
family join us downstairs
for some chow?
- Well, thanks.
What do you say, guys?
- Great!
- Yeah!
- Wonderful.
Come on, Angela.
You can sit with me at lunch.
- Thanks, but I
have other plans.
Excuse me, Mr T.
- Well, little lady.
Hello there.
- I'm a big fan of yours and
I was wondering if I could
please sit with you at lunch.
- Never let it be said
that Mr T said no to
a irresistible lady.
- You're the most
handsome star on TV.
- Oh, and you got brains too.
- See ya, Arnold.
- Eh.
What does she see in that guy?
Take away his muscles,
his fame, and his money
and he's nothing.
- Right.
And if she's gonna go for
nothing she might as well
go for you.
Forget it, Arnold.
Let's go have some lunch.
- You go ahead, Dudley.
I'm not very hungry.
- Boy.
How am I gonna
compete with Mr T?
I gotta think of something.
- Oh, boy.
- Dad, what a spread.
I mean, quiche, steak,
lobster, pork chops.
- I still don't understand
how Mr T got all of that
into one sandwich.
- He spoke to me.
George Peppard
actually spoke to me.
- What did he say, Kimberly?
- He said, "Move
it, you're in my seat."
- Hey, would anybody like
to join me with something
cold to drink?
- Oh, yeah that'd be great.
- Yeah I would, let's go.
Wonder where
Arnold wandered off to.
- I don't know, it's not like
him to miss a good meal.
- It's not like him
to miss a bad meal.
- Angela, I gotta talk to you.
- Sure, Dudley.
What's up?
- Well, could you do me a favor?
When Arnold comes back
try to be a little friendlier
to him, okay?
- Okay, but why?
- Well, because
he kinda digs you.
- That's nice but I'm afraid
my kinda man is Mr T.
- Say, baby.
Say, hello to Mr J.
I'm amazing.
I'm a monster.
How you like me
now, little darling?
Feast your eyes for
my bod's a banquet.
- Well,
what do we have here?
Now this is what
I call a real fan.
It's like we're
capital T and small T.
- Arnold,
what on earth have
you done to yourself?
- I don't believe it.
- Are you out of
your shaved skull?
- Hey, you may not
like it but Angela loves it.
Right, Angie?
- I think you look ridiculous.
- What you talkin'
about, Angela?
- I think that haircut is dumb.
- Hey, watch it, little lady.
- Just on him.
I love it on you.
Arnold!
Arnold wait, Arnold.
- Poor Arnold.
He's pulled some silly
stunts in the past but this one
really takes the cake.
- Yeah.
This is gonna earn him a
permanent place in the airhead
hall of fame.
- I can't imagine what
would make him do
something like this.
- Mr Drummond.
I think it was to
impress Angela.
- He impressed me alright.
- Mr Drummond, would you
mind if I had a talk with Arnold?
- Oh, not at all.
I'm sure he'd like that.
Come on, I'll show you the way.
- Oh, they're right.
I look ridiculous.
Like a porcupine
died on my head.
- Can I come in, little T?
- Sure big T.
- I thought we might
have a little talk.
You know, like head to head.
- Sure, what about?
- Well, I'm really flattered
that you tried to look like me
to impress that girl.
- I even glued some
hair on my chest.
- Wow.
That's more than what I got.
But anyway, I think
you're going about this all
the wrong way.
- What do you mean?
- You see, if you wanna get
somewhere in life, or with a
girl, you can't go around
copying somebody else.
You got to be your own original.
- That's easy for you to say.
You've got a lot
more to work with.
You're built like a mountain.
I'm more like a speed bump.
- Oh, Arnold.
The thing that matters
the most is on the inside.
It's not what you look
like on the outside.
- How do I go about
being an original?
- You're already
there, little brother.
- I am?
- Yeah.
I never met anybody like
you before in the world.
Man, you outrageous.
- You really think so?
- Definitely.
So just be yourself.
But remember though, you
can't force girls into liking you.
Of course I can but
that's another story.
- Then what should I do?
- Do?
Man, don't do anything.
If a girl don't like
you that's her loss.
But I'm sure you'll
find plenty that will.
- You really think so?
- Hey, I'm positive.
So you just be yourself and
play it cool and let the chicks
fall where they may.
- Thanks, Big T.
I feel a lot better now.
- Aw, super, super.
Now, you come on downstairs
with me and watch me
film this scene.
I'm gonna stomp on this guy,
I'm gonna mesh his head to
the carpet, I'm gonna
break both his legs.
- You're gonna do all that?
- Yeah, we trying something
new this week on The A-Team.
Less action and more heart.
- Alright.
We're ready.
Roll 'em.
- Speed.
Marker.
- And
action.
- Oh, no.
No!
No!
Please, don't kill me!
No, no!
No!
No!
- I pity the fool that
mess with my woman!
How you doin'?
Glad to see you.
I like to talk to guys
when I'm beatin' 'em up.
What you say?
What you say?
What you say?
What you say?
- What's going on in here?
Oh,
leave that man alone, you bully!
- Wow!
- Mr T?
- Cut,
cut,
cut,
cut.
- That wasn't a break-away vase.
This is.
- What are you doing?
Who are you?
You have ruined the whole shot!
- I'm sorry.
This is our housekeeper.
Her mother fell off a motorcycle
and she didn't know we'd
be shooting here today.
- Alright, alright, alright.
We'll set up for another shot.
Actors take five.
Actors take five.
- You pack quite a
wallop there, big mama.
- So do you, thunder thighs.
Arnold, is that you?
- It's me.
- You look like Mr T exploded
and you're one of the pieces.
- Hey, little T.
I'm filming down at
Coney Island tomorrow.
How'd you like to come
down and have lunch with me?
- Can I, Dad?
- I'd be crazy to
say no to Little T.
You're liable to pick me up
over your head and mash my face
in the carpet.
- The trouble is I'd sure
get laughed at going around
looking like this.
- Oh, don't worry about nothing.
I got a makeup lady over
there who can make you look like
you got a full head
of hair until the rest of
yours grows in.
- What a relief.
I was afraid I was gonna
have to keep using this.
♪ Now the world don't move
♪ To the beat of just one drum
♪ What might be right for you
♪ May not be right for some
♪ A man is born
♪ He's a man of means
♪ And along come two
♪ They got nothing
but their jeans
♪ But they got
♪ Diff'rent strokes
♪ It takes
♪ Diff'rent strokes
♪ It takes
♪ Diff'rent strokes
to move the world
♪ Yes it does
♪ It takes
♪ Diff'rent strokes
to move the world
♪ Hmm
♪ To the beat of just one drum
♪ What might be right for you
♪ May not be right for some
♪ A man is born
♪ He's a man of means
♪ Then along come two
♪ They got nothing
but their jeans
♪ But they got
♪ Diff'rent strokes
♪ It takes
♪ Diff'rent strokes, it takes
♪ Diff'rent strokes
to move the world
♪ Everybody's got
a special kind of story
♪ Everybody finds a way to shine
♪ It don't matter that you got
♪ Not a lot
♪ So what
♪ They'll have theirs
♪ And you'll have
yours and I'll have mine
♪ And together we'll be fine
♪ 'Cause it takes
♪ Diff'rent strokes
to move the world
♪ Yes it does
♪ It takes
♪ Diff'rent strokes
to move the world
- Oh, Pearl.
I thought you'd left already.
- Oh, no, I was
just about to go.
But I'll be back tomorrow as
soon as I can, Mr Drummond.
- Well, don't you worry, Pearl.
If your mother isn't feeling
better you just take off all
the time that you need.
- Oh, thanks.
Fortunately it was nothing
serious but I still don't
understand why Mother was
riding around on that motorcycle.
- Motorcycle?
- I always thought she meant
her false teeth when she said
she was having trouble
with her choppers.
Oh, look.
Someone must've slipped
this under the door, it's from the
building management company.
- The building
management company.
They probably
increased my rent again.
- Whatever happened
to rent control?
- Nothing, the
landlord still controls it.
- Down with all capitalist pigs.
Oh, except you Mr Drummond.
I'll see ya.
- Give my best to your mother.
Okay, thank you.
- Bye-bye.
- Bye.
- Let's see what this is.
Oh!
Well how about this?
Hey, gang, come
in here a minute.
Yeah, Dad.
- Hey, I wanna
show you something.
- What is it, Dad?
- What is it, Dad?
- Here is a hot news flash.
Show business
comes to Park Avenue.
A television show is going to
be shooting on location in our
building tomorrow and the
management hopes it won't be too
inconvenient for the tenants.
- Hey.
- That's great.
- That's my kinda inconvenience.
I wonder what TV show.
- Hey, maybe somebody in
this building will be discovered.
- Maybe somebody
in this apartment.
- Maybe somebody in my room.
- I'll try not to let
stardom go to my head.
Oh, this is great!
- Arnold, who are you
calling, your agent?
- No, wise guy.
I'm calling Dudley to
tell him the good news.
Hello, Dudley?
It's Arnold.
Guess what.
They're gonna shoot
some big TV show in
our building tomorrow.
No, no kidding.
Come over early so we
can get a front row seat.
What?
Alright, alright,
you both can come.
Just tell your cousin
to stay out of the way.
I don't want anybody hanging
around the actors and buggin'
'em for autographs.
That's my job.
Bye.
Dad, you think one of us
might really get discovered?
No.
I was only joking, Arnold.
I don't think anybody in
this family's gonna be a star.
Although, I understand Spencer
Tracy was discovered rather
late in life.
- Look at all that TV
equipment down there.
- Yeah, look at that crowd.
- What a target for a water bag.
Oh, that's probably
Dudley and his cousin.
He's some cornball from Iowa.
Should be a barrel of laughs.
- Hey, look at that.
I'm coming, I'm coming.
- Hi, Arnold.
This is my cousin Angela.
- He's a girl.
- Hello, Arnold.
- And you're all girl.
Hi.
- Now go sit down, Angela.
I told her to stay out of our
way, like you said, Arnold.
- You must've
misunderstood me, Dudley.
Please.
Take any seat you want.
My penthouse is your penthouse.
- Thank you.
Wow.
This is some pad.
- She's a knockout.
- She is?
It's hard to tell
when you're related.
- You're really pretty, Angela.
You sure don't take after
Dudley's side of the family.
- Thank you.
- Yeah, thank you.
- Arnold, you should see
all the action down the street.
What a sight.
- I'm more interested
in the sights up here.
- Hey, when are they
gonna start filming, Arnold?
- Ah, what's the rush?
Meanwhile, we'll have
a chance to get better
acquainted, little mama.
- You're quite a ladies
man aren't ya, little papa?
- That's 'cause I'm
with quite a lady.
We want that elevator clear.
- Hey, wait a minute.
I hear noises out in the hall.
Hey, maybe they're
gonna shoot out there.
- Oh, let's go see.
Wait a minute.
What kinda gentleman are you?
Ladies first.
Alright, we're gonna shoot
starting here towards the
elevator, they get out of
the elevator, we dolly back
into the hall...
What do you want, kid?
- I live here.
- Alright, well do me a favor.
Move back out of the way,
you'll be in the way here.
Look at what a terrific place.
Early opulence.
Hey, Bobby, come in here!
- Yeah, chief.
- Look at all this room.
Look at that balcony,
look at the view.
- Right, chief.
Look at the balcony,
look at the view.
- Why did you rent that
flea trap down the hall?
That was stupid.
- Right, chief, that was stupid.
We could do the whole
scene right here, it's perfect.
He comes through the door,
he grabs the guy and throws him
out onto the balcony.
- Hey, Arnold.
It sounds like they wanna
shoot the TV show right here
in your apartment.
- Yeah.
That's the way my life is.
One fabulous event
after another one.
- Yeah.
And I'm surprised.
From what Dudley told
me about you I thought you
were a nerd.
- Hey Arnold, who are
those guys out there?
- They're with the TV show.
I think they
wanna do it in here.
- You're kidding!
- Boy, what a
mess it is out there.
They've taken over
the whole building.
I had to wait 10
minutes for an elevator.
Yes, yes.
- Who are those people?
- Hi, there.
Is this your apartment?
- The last time I checked.
- I'm Stanley Pearlburg.
- The Stanley Pearlburg,
you've probably heard of him.
- Oh, I'm afraid not.
The television director.
- Sorry.
- Have you been
out of the country?
- Forgive me but I just don't
watch very much television.
- Oh, well, how would
you like to make a few
extra bucks Mr...
- Drummond.
And I already have
a few extra bucks.
- Right.
Well, maybe we can
donate something to charity.
- Yeah, name your
favorite disease.
- We wanna film part of our
show here, Mr Drummond.
- Here?
Oh, no, I'm afraid not.
That'll be too much of a hassle.
- Oh, Dad.
- Dad.
Come on.
- That'll be fun.
- You're kidding.
For most people this'll
be the dream of lifetime.
- Oh, yeah?
Well I had one about
Raquel Welch I'd stack up
against theirs anytime.
- Dad, reconsider.
I'm trying to impress
this cute little number.
- Well, buy her a pizza.
- Hey, sucka.
Let's get this show on the road.
- Mr T.
- In the flesh.
- What flesh?
It's all muscle.
- And all prime grade A.
You ready for me, Pearly?
- Not, yet, Mr T.
Why don't you go down
stairs and relax in your trailer.
- Yeah, go relax, T baby.
- You call me T baby one
more time and I'mma break every
bone in your
pitiful little body.
- Excuse me, are they
filming The A-Team here?
- That's right.
Yes, The A-Team!
- Dad, The A-Team.
That's my favorite show,
you've just gotta let 'em
shoot here, please!
- No, I don't.
- Oh, please, Dad.
- Dad, think of it as
a cultural experience.
It'll broaden the horizons.
- Yes, come on.
It's The A-Team.
- Broaden our horizons!
- Alright!
Alright, alright.
I don't want my children
to be culturally deprived.
Hooray!
Alright.
- That's terrific, Mr Drummond.
Now, if you'll just come with
me I'll have the production
manager work out
all the arrangements.
- Yeah, all the arrangements.
- Shut up, Bobby.
- I'm gonna go downstairs
and see if George Peppard
is there.
- And I think I'll go see if
there's any starlets that need
to be discovered.
- This is fantastic, Arnold.
- Yeah.
See what I did for
you, sweet pea?
And there's a lot more
where that came from.
- He's so wonderful.
- Thank you.
- I mean Mr T.
- Dudley.
I can't get to first base
with your cousin since
Mr T showed up.
Do you have any suggestions?
- Nope.
- She seems to be
immune to my many charms.
You have any idea
what she goes for?
- No but I know what
she doesn't go for.
- What's that?
- You.
- Alright, Wendy, let's walk
through this scene once.
Alright, you're at the bar.
Alright, got it?
- Got it, Mr Pearlburg.
- Good.
Yeah, good.
Okay, then the doorbell rings.
You cross to it and
you open it expecting to
find your mother.
- What about my mother?
I meant in the script, Mr T.
You all set, you
got all your lines?
- Sure, four grunts and a growl.
I don't know how in the world
I'm gonna remember them all.
Remember 'em
all, funny stuff, T.
- Shut up, Bobby!
- Right.
- Let's get you into makeup, T.
Now, did you have a chance
to look over the lines, you know
what scene we're shooting?
Great.
- Hey, that Mr T
is one cool dude.
- Yeah, he's a real hunk.
- Yeah, big deal.
So is a side of beef.
- Oh, just my luck.
George Peppard isn't
working in this scene.
- But just my luck, that bundle
from heaven over there is.
Think I'll brighten her life
up with a little introduction.
- Oh, who you gonna
introduce her to?
- Hi there.
- Hello.
And who are you?
- Doesn't matter.
This is my penthouse.
- It is?
Are you pulling my leg?
- I'll pull whatever you let me.
So what are you doing tonight?
- I'm having dinner
with my husband.
- So what are you
doing after dinner?
- Polishing my
husband's police badge.
- I can dig it.
- Bobby, where is the
heavy for this scene?
Let's get moving.
- She should've
been here, chief.
Maybe got stuck in traffic.
- Well, we gotta rehearse.
Get me somebody, anybody.
- Right, somebody, anybody.
- Hey, kids, how's it going?
- Oh, it's real exciting.
- Hi, Dad.
- Excuse me.
Mr, Drummond?
- Yes?
- I wonder if you
could help me out.
Seems that one of the actors
is late and I thought maybe you
could fill in for him.
- Me?
I'm no actor.
Although, I did do a number
of plays when I was in college.
As a professional you
probably picked up on that, right?
- No.
But you're here.
- Come on, Dad.
- Yeah.
- Dad, you can do it, Dad.
- It'll be great.
- It'll be fun.
- You're a good actor.
- Oh, alright, why not?
If I learned anything at all
from those Mickey Rooney films
it's that the show must go on.
- Alright!
- Yay!
Go for it, Dad.
- Hey, chief.
Chief, Mr Drummond
said he'd fill in for us.
- Oh, fine.
Good.
Mr Drummond, you
wanna stand about
here.
- Shouldn't I have makeup?
- Well, you don't need it for
rehearsal but go ahead if it's
something you normally
wear around the house.
- Oh, not really.
Oh, maybe occasionally
a little eyeliner.
- Mr T, we're ready for you now.
Mr T, I want you to meet Mr
Drummond, he's gonna stand
in for us.
- Just call me Phil.
What shall I call you?
- Mr T.
- Angela, are you comfortable?
Is there anything you'd like?
- Yes, if you don't mind I'd
like to concentrate on Mr T.
- Alright, Mr T, I think you
know what this scene is.
- Yeah I got it.
- Good.
Alright, Mr Drummond,
you'll be on the couch with...
Wendy, darling.
You're on the couch
with Mr Drummond.
Mr T has entered the room.
He sees you with his girlfriend.
You're coming on to her.
No, get a little closer, you've
got your arm around her.
I've gotta line up the shot.
Wendy, help him out.
Good, oh yes, that's perfect.
Alright, now Mr
T crosses to you.
He's really steaming.
He picks the villain up.
- What?
- That's my woman, dead man.
Good, perfect.
Throws the man against the
wall and he stomps on his head
and he mashes his face!
- Hold on, wait a minute.
Time.
Would you put me down, please?
- What's the problem?
- I'm afraid you'll
strain yourself.
- Are you kidding?
My gold chains
weigh more than you.
- Put him down,
we'll go to lunch.
Lunch, one hour.
- They servin'
my favorite today.
Quiche.
- Daddy, are you okay?
- Dad, are you okay, Dad?
- Are you alright,
how do you feel?
- Of course.
Why do you ask?
- Well, you looked
pretty scared up there.
- I was supposed to
show fear and I did.
Pretty good acting, huh?
- Not as good as
you're doing right now.
- Well, Mr Drummond,
thanks for your help.
Why don't you and your
family join us downstairs
for some chow?
- Well, thanks.
What do you say, guys?
- Great!
- Yeah!
- Wonderful.
Come on, Angela.
You can sit with me at lunch.
- Thanks, but I
have other plans.
Excuse me, Mr T.
- Well, little lady.
Hello there.
- I'm a big fan of yours and
I was wondering if I could
please sit with you at lunch.
- Never let it be said
that Mr T said no to
a irresistible lady.
- You're the most
handsome star on TV.
- Oh, and you got brains too.
- See ya, Arnold.
- Eh.
What does she see in that guy?
Take away his muscles,
his fame, and his money
and he's nothing.
- Right.
And if she's gonna go for
nothing she might as well
go for you.
Forget it, Arnold.
Let's go have some lunch.
- You go ahead, Dudley.
I'm not very hungry.
- Boy.
How am I gonna
compete with Mr T?
I gotta think of something.
- Oh, boy.
- Dad, what a spread.
I mean, quiche, steak,
lobster, pork chops.
- I still don't understand
how Mr T got all of that
into one sandwich.
- He spoke to me.
George Peppard
actually spoke to me.
- What did he say, Kimberly?
- He said, "Move
it, you're in my seat."
- Hey, would anybody like
to join me with something
cold to drink?
- Oh, yeah that'd be great.
- Yeah I would, let's go.
Wonder where
Arnold wandered off to.
- I don't know, it's not like
him to miss a good meal.
- It's not like him
to miss a bad meal.
- Angela, I gotta talk to you.
- Sure, Dudley.
What's up?
- Well, could you do me a favor?
When Arnold comes back
try to be a little friendlier
to him, okay?
- Okay, but why?
- Well, because
he kinda digs you.
- That's nice but I'm afraid
my kinda man is Mr T.
- Say, baby.
Say, hello to Mr J.
I'm amazing.
I'm a monster.
How you like me
now, little darling?
Feast your eyes for
my bod's a banquet.
- Well,
what do we have here?
Now this is what
I call a real fan.
It's like we're
capital T and small T.
- Arnold,
what on earth have
you done to yourself?
- I don't believe it.
- Are you out of
your shaved skull?
- Hey, you may not
like it but Angela loves it.
Right, Angie?
- I think you look ridiculous.
- What you talkin'
about, Angela?
- I think that haircut is dumb.
- Hey, watch it, little lady.
- Just on him.
I love it on you.
Arnold!
Arnold wait, Arnold.
- Poor Arnold.
He's pulled some silly
stunts in the past but this one
really takes the cake.
- Yeah.
This is gonna earn him a
permanent place in the airhead
hall of fame.
- I can't imagine what
would make him do
something like this.
- Mr Drummond.
I think it was to
impress Angela.
- He impressed me alright.
- Mr Drummond, would you
mind if I had a talk with Arnold?
- Oh, not at all.
I'm sure he'd like that.
Come on, I'll show you the way.
- Oh, they're right.
I look ridiculous.
Like a porcupine
died on my head.
- Can I come in, little T?
- Sure big T.
- I thought we might
have a little talk.
You know, like head to head.
- Sure, what about?
- Well, I'm really flattered
that you tried to look like me
to impress that girl.
- I even glued some
hair on my chest.
- Wow.
That's more than what I got.
But anyway, I think
you're going about this all
the wrong way.
- What do you mean?
- You see, if you wanna get
somewhere in life, or with a
girl, you can't go around
copying somebody else.
You got to be your own original.
- That's easy for you to say.
You've got a lot
more to work with.
You're built like a mountain.
I'm more like a speed bump.
- Oh, Arnold.
The thing that matters
the most is on the inside.
It's not what you look
like on the outside.
- How do I go about
being an original?
- You're already
there, little brother.
- I am?
- Yeah.
I never met anybody like
you before in the world.
Man, you outrageous.
- You really think so?
- Definitely.
So just be yourself.
But remember though, you
can't force girls into liking you.
Of course I can but
that's another story.
- Then what should I do?
- Do?
Man, don't do anything.
If a girl don't like
you that's her loss.
But I'm sure you'll
find plenty that will.
- You really think so?
- Hey, I'm positive.
So you just be yourself and
play it cool and let the chicks
fall where they may.
- Thanks, Big T.
I feel a lot better now.
- Aw, super, super.
Now, you come on downstairs
with me and watch me
film this scene.
I'm gonna stomp on this guy,
I'm gonna mesh his head to
the carpet, I'm gonna
break both his legs.
- You're gonna do all that?
- Yeah, we trying something
new this week on The A-Team.
Less action and more heart.
- Alright.
We're ready.
Roll 'em.
- Speed.
Marker.
- And
action.
- Oh, no.
No!
No!
Please, don't kill me!
No, no!
No!
No!
- I pity the fool that
mess with my woman!
How you doin'?
Glad to see you.
I like to talk to guys
when I'm beatin' 'em up.
What you say?
What you say?
What you say?
What you say?
- What's going on in here?
Oh,
leave that man alone, you bully!
- Wow!
- Mr T?
- Cut,
cut,
cut,
cut.
- That wasn't a break-away vase.
This is.
- What are you doing?
Who are you?
You have ruined the whole shot!
- I'm sorry.
This is our housekeeper.
Her mother fell off a motorcycle
and she didn't know we'd
be shooting here today.
- Alright, alright, alright.
We'll set up for another shot.
Actors take five.
Actors take five.
- You pack quite a
wallop there, big mama.
- So do you, thunder thighs.
Arnold, is that you?
- It's me.
- You look like Mr T exploded
and you're one of the pieces.
- Hey, little T.
I'm filming down at
Coney Island tomorrow.
How'd you like to come
down and have lunch with me?
- Can I, Dad?
- I'd be crazy to
say no to Little T.
You're liable to pick me up
over your head and mash my face
in the carpet.
- The trouble is I'd sure
get laughed at going around
looking like this.
- Oh, don't worry about nothing.
I got a makeup lady over
there who can make you look like
you got a full head
of hair until the rest of
yours grows in.
- What a relief.
I was afraid I was gonna
have to keep using this.
♪ Now the world don't move
♪ To the beat of just one drum
♪ What might be right for you
♪ May not be right for some
♪ A man is born
♪ He's a man of means
♪ And along come two
♪ They got nothing
but their jeans
♪ But they got
♪ Diff'rent strokes
♪ It takes
♪ Diff'rent strokes
♪ It takes
♪ Diff'rent strokes
to move the world
♪ Yes it does
♪ It takes
♪ Diff'rent strokes
to move the world
♪ Hmm