Diff'rent Strokes (1978–1986): Season 5, Episode 4 - Big Brother - full transcript
Arnold, feeling sorry for a new boy at school who has no friends, asks Willis to serve as a big brother to him. When Willis begins spending all his time with his 'new brother', Arnold feels neglected.
♪ Now, the world don't move
to the beat of just one drum
♪ What might be right for
you, may not be right for some
♪ A man is born
♪ He's a man of means
♪ Then along come two
♪ They got nothing
but their jeans
♪ But they got,
Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes, Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes, Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world
♪ Everybody's got
a special kind of story
♪ Everybody finds a way to shine
♪ It don't matter
that you got, not a lot
♪ So what
♪ They'll have theirs,
and you'll have yours,
♪ And I'll have mine
♪ And together we'll be fine
♪ 'Cause it takes, Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world
♪ Yes it does
♪ It takes, Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world
- Don't be too long on
the phone now, Willis.
- Hello, Charlene?
Hey baby, it's your main man,
your numero uno, squeeze city.
It's me, Willis.
Well listen, Charlene,
you're gonna flip.
I just got the last two tickets
to that Steven
Spielberg festival.
Busy?
What's more important than this?
Well, tell your cousin
you'll be a bridesmaid
at her next wedding.
Yeah, I understand, bye.
Man, what a festival
she's missing.
They're gonna show Jaws,
Raiders of the Lost Ark,
Close Encounters of
the Third Kind, and E.T..
- That's not a
festival, that's an orgy.
- I'm with Charlene.
A wedding is much more exciting.
- Are you out of your skull?
- I'd rather have my close
encounters on a honeymoon.
- Uh, there's no rush for that.
- Well, um, looks like I
got an extra ticket here.
- I know someone
who's available.
- I couldn't imagine
who that could be.
- I'll give you a hint.
He's got a loose front
tooth and he will not
be a bridesmaid on Saturday.
- Well, I'll think
about it Arnold.
- Oh, come on Willis,
please, take me!
I'm your own flesh and blood!
I'm on my knees, begging you!
- Arnold, where's your pride?
- Fortunately, I don't have any.
Take me Willis,
please, please, please!
- Willis, take him!
This is not a pretty sight.
- Okay little brother,
you got it, you can go.
- Aww, thanks Willis!
Alright, I'm going, Dad!
- Arnold, Arnold, will you
stop beating around the bush.
Are you happy or not?
- What's all the
excitement in here?
- Oh, Arnold's freaking out.
Willis is taking him to the
Steven Spielberg festival.
- Spielberg...
Isn't he one of those
punk rockers with pink hair?
- No, Pearl.
He's only the hottest
film director in Hollywood.
- A thousand pardons.
What'd he direct?
- Pearl, where have you
been for the last three years?
- Working in Washington.
Nobody there knows
what's going on.
- Man, I can't wait to see
all those great movies again.
I can say every line,
right along with the actors!
- No, you'll sit there
and behave yourself.
Listen, I'm meeting
some of my friends there
and I don't want you
getting in the way.
- Don't worry Willis.
I won't get in the
way, I promise.
You can even throw a
sheet over me and tell
your friends I'm E.T..
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Hi, gotta a problem?
- I lost a quarter.
- I'll help you find it.
- Thanks, if you do,
I'll give you a nickel.
- I never take money for favors.
- Then, would you
like a sandwich.
- However, I do take food.
Ah ha!
Here it is.
- Thanks!
My name's Joey.
- Mine's Arnold.
- Here's a sandwich.
- You sure you don't want it?
- Uh-Huh.
- You're passing up roast beef?
You some kind of
religious fanatic?
- I'm just not hungry.
- Man, this is really fancy.
Toothpicks with
little pink panties.
- My mother's a
cashier at a restaurant.
They make them up for here.
I can get you anything you want.
- You can?!
- Sure, I'll bring
a menu to school.
- Joey, this looks
like the beginning
of a beautiful friendship.
- I like that.
- Man, this is my lucky day,
a free roast beef sandwich
and my brother told
me he's gonna take me
to see E.T. and
Raiders of the Lost Ark,
and a whole bunch
of other great films.
- Wow, I'd give
anything to see those.
- Why don't you get
somebody to take you?
- Well, my mom
works all the time.
- How 'bout your dad?
- My dad's back in California.
You see, they're divorced.
And I don't have any
brother and sisters,
and I don't have any friends
'cause we just moved here.
- Well, what do you do for fun?
- Go to school.
- I guess you didn't
here what I said.
I said, what do you do for fun?
- Nothing.
- Nothing?
Joey, man cannot
live by school alone.
Don't you at least
watch television?
- Yeah, but the neighbor
lady who looks in on my
only likes soap operas.
That sex stuff is
way over my head.
- Don't worry my
man, you'll learn.
- Anyway, my mom's
trying to get me a big brother
from the Boy's Club.
- That's a good deal,
sort of like rent-a-bro.
- Yeah, but I have to wait,
'cause there's not enough
big brothers to go around.
You're lucky, Arnold.
I sure wish I had a
big brother like you do.
- I wish you did too, Joey.
- Anybody like a snack?
I made some guacamole.
- Oh!
- Ooh, I'd love
some, thanks Pearl.
- How 'bout you Mr. Drummond?
- Whoa, my appetite says yes,
but the holes in my belt say no.
- Now you said
that you were gonna
start an exercise program.
- Oh, I started, right
at this very moment.
I'm in the middle
of doing something
that takes great
concentration and will power.
- What's that?
- Ignoring my fat.
- I'm an expert at that.
I stand on the scale
one leg at a time.
- Ah, what the heck!
- I'm with you.
- Hi!
- Hi Arnold.
- Where's Willis?
- Upstairs, in your room.
- Oh, great!
Wait here.
Oh, this is Joey from school.
- Hello, Joey from school.
- Hi.
- Hi Joey, our housekeeper
just fixed a snack.
Are you interested?
- Thanks, I'm hungry.
Arnold ate my lunch.
- What, well, that
wasn't very nice.
- Oh, he didn't take it.
I gave it to him
'cause I wasn't hungry.
- That's Arnold, always
willing to lend a helping mouth.
- Arnold, Arnold,
will you let go?
- I just want you
to meet my friend.
Joey, this is my
big brother, Willis.
- Hi Willis.
- How you doin', Joey?
Alright, got a good grip there.
- I'm tough for my size.
Don' let the haircut fool ya.
- Well, let's go get
that snack, Joey.
You like guacamole?
- What's that?
- Well, you take an avocado
and you give it heartburn,
then it does the same to you.
- How do you like him, Willis?
Cute little guy, isn't he?
- Yeah, he's okay.
- Okay, just okay?
Admit it Willis, that face
belongs on a box of pudding.
- Arnold, what is this
special interest you seem
to have in Joey?
- Well, his folks are divorced,
and his mom works all the time.
So, she signed him up
for the Big Brother program,
so he'd have
someone to play with.
- Well, he's got
you to play with.
- Yeah, but there's a lot
of good things I can't do
with him because I'm too young.
- Like what?
- Like getting into
R-rated movies.
- Yeah, it'd be a
tragedy if he missed
such a cultural experience.
- That's the way I see it.
See, Joey's waiting
for a big brother.
So, I thought maybe
you could do it.
- Hey, that's a very nice
thing for you to think of, Arnold.
- Arnold, I'm too busy.
And besides, I've been
a big brother ever since
the day you were born.
And remember, when mom
was changing your diapers,
I'm not the guy who had to duck.
- Come on, Willis.
I'm sure you got enough
room in your heart
to love two other
people besides me.
- What two others?
- Joey and yourself.
- Willis, I'm sure you
can find a little time
to lend a helping hand to
somebody who really needs it.
You know what they say,
it always comes back to ya.
- Look, Dad,
even if I could do it,
you can't rush into
anything like this.
You gotta find the right kid.
Someone with the
same interests as I do.
- Yeah, but where you
gonna find a six year old
who likes to hit
on teenage girls?
- At least, give is
some thought, Willis.
- But Dad, I really
got too much going on.
- Ah, come on Willis, it'd
only be for a couple of days.
- You make a great
snack, Kimberly.
- Oh, thanks, I
learned from Arnold.
You've heard of the
submarine sandwich?
- Sure.
- He invented the destroyer.
- Well, I hope it doesn't
destroy your dinner.
By the way, don't you
think you should call
your mother at work
and tell her you're here?
- Yeah, I think I better.
- Okay, come with me.
Here's the phone, it's
right there on the desk.
- Thank you.
- Help yourself.
- Do you have a phone book.
- Oh sure.
There you are.
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
- That's my kinda
kid, shorter than me.
- Hi Mom, this is Joey.
Sorry, Mr. Fitzgerald,
you sound like my mother.
Hi Mom, I just wanted to
tell you, I'm at Arnold's house.
Yeah, I've got a friend now.
Is it okay if I played
this afternoon?
I can do my chores later.
Yeah, I've got my key.
Thanks Mom.
Boy, Arnold's got a great
dad, and a great sister
and a big brother who
looks like Magnum P.I.,
without the mustache.
- You hear that, Dad?
Magnum P.I..
- I think of you
more as Willis P.U..
- Okay, see you at home Mom.
Bye-bye, I love you too Mommy.
- So um, you think I look
like Magnum P.I, huh?
- Yeah, you're a good-looking
dude with big muscles.
- You know, Dad,
I've been thinking.
Maybe I do have time
to be a big brother.
How would you like to
become an instant relative?
- You mean, you'd
be my big brother?
- You got it.
- Wow, great!
- Hey, that's great!
That's my boy, Willis.
Hey listen, maybe you
could get an extra ticket
for the Spielberg festival.
Would you like
to see that, Joey?
- Would I?
I've never seen
any of those movies!
- Oh Dad, I'm afraid
that's impossible
to get another ticket.
The only way Joey can go is
if I took him instead of Arnold.
- Run that by me again.
- Gee, I wouldn't
wanna do that to Arnold.
- Oh, I'm sure
Arnold wouldn't mind.
That'd be a very
nice gesture, Arnold.
And after all, you have
seen E.T. eight times.
One more time, and
your fingers gonna light up.
- Come on, Arnold.
It's no big deal for you.
And you're always such
a generous, terrific guy.
- Well...
- Remember, Arnold, you're
the one who wanted me
to be his big brother.
- I know, but uh...
Okay Joey, you
can go instead of me.
- Aww, great, way to go!
- Thanks, Arnold.
You're the best
friend I ever had.
And also, the only one.
- Well, dinner fans, I'm
offering you a choice tonight
for your dining pleasure.
You can have my special
succulent rack of lamb,
which the Washington Post
called a gastronomical triumph,
or you can have Ma
Goldberg's frozen fish sticks.
- Well, there's
really no choice,
we'll have the fish sticks.
- Good, I'll tell the new maid.
Incidentally, I see
there's an extra little mouth
about the house.
Will it be staying for dinner?
- Good thinking, Pearl.
- So how about it, Joey?
Would you like to stay?
- Gee, that'd be
terrific, thanks!
- If you're having
one of my meals,
you won't be needing this.
- Hey Joey, we oughta call
your mother and see if it's okay.
- Oh, I'm sure it's okay.
She's working tonight.
In fact, she's working
the whole weekend.
- Hey, well how 'bout Joey
spendin' the weekend with us?
- Would you like
to do that, Joey?
- Would I!
But, I need some other clothes.
- Hey, that's no problem.
Arnold will lend
you some of his.
Right, Arnold?
- Good idea.
What'd ya say, Arnold?
You were already nice
enough to give him the ticket.
- Sure, why not throw
in my underwear.
- Now we just gotta figure
out where Joey's gonna sleep.
- Why don't we just
give him my bed?
- Now, that's very
thoughtful of you, Arnold.
That'll give you a
chance to use your
brand new sleeping bag.
- Whoopee!
- Well, that's settled.
Let's go wash up
for dinner, Joey.
- Hey, so you really think
I look like Magnum, huh?
- Ya know, I'm really
proud of you Arnold,
for all the things
you're doing for Joey.
Makes you feel good
inside, doesn't it?
- Yeah, my insides
are having a ball.
I wonder if Steven
Spielberg was this stupid
when he was a kid.
- Morning, Arnold.
- Morning.
- I feel great!
- I feel like a sardine.
- Willis and I sure
had a great time
at that festival yesterday.
You should have been there.
- You're telling me.
- I was dreaming about
the part in the Raiders,
when they found Harrison
Ford hanging over the pit
of poisonous snakes.
- Don't give me any ideas.
- Aloha, little brother.
- Hey, Willis.
- I meant Joey.
Here's the plan for today.
First we go on a pony
ride through the park.
And then, we'll grab
a couple of hot dogs
and meet some of the
other big brothers for
a game of touch football.
Oh, and I've got good
news for you too, Arnold.
- Yeah?
- You'll get to stay
home and sleep in.
- What'chu talkin'
about, Willis?
- See, Arnold.
The whole idea of big
brothers is one-on-one.
You understand?
- Sure.
If anybody cares, I'm
gonna brush my teeth.
That is, if there's any
of my toothpaste left.
- Hold it, little brother.
Let Joey go first,
we're in a hurry.
See you downstairs
in five minutes.
- You bet, Willis.
- Bye.
- Man, guy can't even get in
his own bathroom anymore.
That's one nice thing about
being a goldfish, Abraham.
One bowl, no waiting.
- Good morning, Willis.
- Morning
- We were just talking about
Joey, and what a pleasure
it's been to have him with us.
- Yeah, too bad he's
gotta go home tonight.
You know, Arnold even
offered to help him pack.
- Pearl, I hope Joey hasn't
been too much trouble
for you the last couple days.
- Not at all.
He's a delight.
Even cleaned up after
himself when he made
a sandwich yesterday, unlike
some people I could mention.
- The only crumbs
I left in the kitchen
were Willis and Arnold.
- I must say Wills,
you really have taken
to Joey in a big way.
You're like a kid
with a new toy.
- Oh, I'm having a ball.
He's a great little guy.
I guess Arnold's really happy
about the way things turned out.
- Well, it sure has been a
lot of fun to have him with us.
And I think it was great of
you to be a big brother to him.
I really appreciate that.
Hi.
- Good Morning Arnold.
- Where's Joey?
- Probably putting a
ring around my bathtub.
- Not Joey, he'd
clean it right up.
How 'bout some pancakes, Arnold?
- I'm not hungry.
- Not hungry, for my pancakes?
Are you alright?
- I'm okay.
- You can't be sick,
it's not a school day.
- Maybe I'll eat later.
Excuse me, I got a
lot of stuff to do today.
- What's with him?
- Well, I get the impression
that his nose is a little
out of joint because
of all the attention we've
been giving to Joey.
We're gonna have to
make that up to him.
- Don't worry, kid.
I'm not gonna mug ya.
Just looking for dinner.
Sometimes, kids throw
away a lot of good food.
- Not me, I'm a human trash can.
- Then we got a lot in common.
How'd you get in the
school yard on a Sunday,
climb over the fence?
- No, I climbed under it.
I go to this school,
so I happen to know
where all the holes are.
Do you happen to
know what time it is?
- It's about a quarter to six.
What'd you gotta be somewhere?
- No.
How 'bout you?
- Oh, I gotta be in
Cleveland by March,
then I'm gonna hop
a train to Milwaukee.
I travel all over
the country like that.
The only problem is
sometimes you get freight lag.
What are you doing out
here, all alone, at this hour?
- Well, I was kinda thinking
about running away from home.
The way I feel right
now, wish I was dead.
- You're in the wrong place
for that, try Central Park.
Where do ya live, kid?
- Park Avenue.
- Park Avenue?
I got some friends who
got a great bench over there.
What'd you runnin' away for?
- 'Cause my family
doesn't want me anymore.
- I know that feeling.
My family dumped me too.
But, I showed 'em, I made
a total failure out of myself.
- What's it like being a bum?
I mean...
A happy wanderer?
- Oh, it's terrific!
I got my freedom,
no boss to answer to,
don't have to worry
about fancy clothes or cars,
out in the open
air all the time.
Ahhh, it's a great life.
This is the only
part I don't like.
- Well, thank you anyway Dudley.
But listen, if Arnold does
show up at your place,
please, have him
call home right away.
Okay, thank you.
Well, I'm afraid he's not
with any of his friends.
- Then, where could he be?
- He's never been
gone all day like this
without telling at least
one of us where he's going.
- Hey, how you doin'?
I just took Joey home.
Boy, that kid's a dynamo,
finally fell down, exhausted.
- Poor little guy.
- Not him, me.
Is there something wrong?
- Well, apparently
Arnold has disappeared.
- Disappeared?
Oh No, I guess he's more
upset than you thought, huh Dad?
- Yeah.
Look, why don't we all split up
and search the neighborhood.
He must be moping
around out there someplace.
- You mean, you've
never seen your folks
since you were a kid?
- Nope, don't even
remember what they look like.
I just remembered that the
short furry one was my dog.
He's the only one I miss.
- Man, I'd sure miss my family.
- Then, what are
you running away for?
Do they beat ya?
- No, the always hug me and
kiss me and slobber all over me.
A guy'd be crazy to run
away from a family like mine.
- Then, I don't get it.
- Well, I'm running away
because my feelings are hurt.
You're looking a a very
sensitive dude, here.
Maybe I'll take a
subway to Harlem.
- Hold it kid.
- You gonna mug me now?
- No.
I just wanna say if you
decide to hit the road,
I wish you luck.
Not everyone turns
out as good as me.
See ya kid, I gotta
check the other trashcans.
Later.
- Hi there.
- Dad, what are you doing here?
- Oh, just trying to catch
my breath after climbing
over that fence.
What's more important is
what are you doing here?
- Well, It's kind of
a halfway house
between here and Cleveland.
- Cleveland?
Do I get the impression
you're thinking of running away?
- It did enter my mind.
- Well, I think I can
understand that.
I guess you feel kind
of alienated and left out
because of all the attention
we've been paying to Joey.
That right?
- Let me put it this
way, I hate him!
And I hate myself for
hating him, but I hate him
more than I hate hating myself.
- Well, I tell you something
Arnold, this sounds familiar.
Kimberly said the
same thing about you.
- She did?
- Remember when you and
Willis first came to live with us?
All the love and attention
I showered on you,
especially you because
you were the littlest one.
- Yeah, those were
the good ole days.
- Well, Kimberly
didn't think so.
Oh, she thought it
was a great idea at first.
I remember one day, she
came rushing into my room,
practically in
tears, and she said
that you were a little...
Well, nevermind what she said.
The point is that she was
all pushed out of shape,
just about the way you are now.
- She was?
- That's right.
But, she soon came to
realize that I loved her
just as much as I always had.
And, we all love you just
as much as we ever did.
As far as we're
concerned, there'll never
be another one like you.
- Honest?
- Honest.
- There you guys are.
Man, Dad, I didn't
think you were gonna
check the schoolyard.
Arnold, you had me
worried about you.
Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
I just want you to know
that I'm not upset anymore
about you being insensitive
and ignoring my feelings.
- Good.
Don't worry, Arnold.
You always know you'll
be my number one, little bro.
Well, let's split, Dad.
- Split?
I already did that when
I came over the fence.
- Oh, Dad.
Now that I understand
about big brothers,
could I be a big brother to
someone who needs it too?
- Why sure you can, as
soon as you're old enough.
- Oh, I can't wait that long.
- Why, do you have
someone in mind?
- I sure do.
Hey, Mr. Happy Wanderer!
- Yeah, pal?
- I would like for you
to meet my family.
This is my dad.
♪ Now, the world don't move
to the beat of just one drum
♪ What might be right for
you, may not be right for some
♪ A man is born,
he's a man of means
♪ Then along come two,
they got nothing but their jeans
♪ But they got,
Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world
♪ Yes, it does
♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world
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to the beat of just one drum
♪ What might be right for
you, may not be right for some
♪ A man is born
♪ He's a man of means
♪ Then along come two
♪ They got nothing
but their jeans
♪ But they got,
Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes, Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes, Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world
♪ Everybody's got
a special kind of story
♪ Everybody finds a way to shine
♪ It don't matter
that you got, not a lot
♪ So what
♪ They'll have theirs,
and you'll have yours,
♪ And I'll have mine
♪ And together we'll be fine
♪ 'Cause it takes, Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world
♪ Yes it does
♪ It takes, Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world
- Don't be too long on
the phone now, Willis.
- Hello, Charlene?
Hey baby, it's your main man,
your numero uno, squeeze city.
It's me, Willis.
Well listen, Charlene,
you're gonna flip.
I just got the last two tickets
to that Steven
Spielberg festival.
Busy?
What's more important than this?
Well, tell your cousin
you'll be a bridesmaid
at her next wedding.
Yeah, I understand, bye.
Man, what a festival
she's missing.
They're gonna show Jaws,
Raiders of the Lost Ark,
Close Encounters of
the Third Kind, and E.T..
- That's not a
festival, that's an orgy.
- I'm with Charlene.
A wedding is much more exciting.
- Are you out of your skull?
- I'd rather have my close
encounters on a honeymoon.
- Uh, there's no rush for that.
- Well, um, looks like I
got an extra ticket here.
- I know someone
who's available.
- I couldn't imagine
who that could be.
- I'll give you a hint.
He's got a loose front
tooth and he will not
be a bridesmaid on Saturday.
- Well, I'll think
about it Arnold.
- Oh, come on Willis,
please, take me!
I'm your own flesh and blood!
I'm on my knees, begging you!
- Arnold, where's your pride?
- Fortunately, I don't have any.
Take me Willis,
please, please, please!
- Willis, take him!
This is not a pretty sight.
- Okay little brother,
you got it, you can go.
- Aww, thanks Willis!
Alright, I'm going, Dad!
- Arnold, Arnold, will you
stop beating around the bush.
Are you happy or not?
- What's all the
excitement in here?
- Oh, Arnold's freaking out.
Willis is taking him to the
Steven Spielberg festival.
- Spielberg...
Isn't he one of those
punk rockers with pink hair?
- No, Pearl.
He's only the hottest
film director in Hollywood.
- A thousand pardons.
What'd he direct?
- Pearl, where have you
been for the last three years?
- Working in Washington.
Nobody there knows
what's going on.
- Man, I can't wait to see
all those great movies again.
I can say every line,
right along with the actors!
- No, you'll sit there
and behave yourself.
Listen, I'm meeting
some of my friends there
and I don't want you
getting in the way.
- Don't worry Willis.
I won't get in the
way, I promise.
You can even throw a
sheet over me and tell
your friends I'm E.T..
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Hi, gotta a problem?
- I lost a quarter.
- I'll help you find it.
- Thanks, if you do,
I'll give you a nickel.
- I never take money for favors.
- Then, would you
like a sandwich.
- However, I do take food.
Ah ha!
Here it is.
- Thanks!
My name's Joey.
- Mine's Arnold.
- Here's a sandwich.
- You sure you don't want it?
- Uh-Huh.
- You're passing up roast beef?
You some kind of
religious fanatic?
- I'm just not hungry.
- Man, this is really fancy.
Toothpicks with
little pink panties.
- My mother's a
cashier at a restaurant.
They make them up for here.
I can get you anything you want.
- You can?!
- Sure, I'll bring
a menu to school.
- Joey, this looks
like the beginning
of a beautiful friendship.
- I like that.
- Man, this is my lucky day,
a free roast beef sandwich
and my brother told
me he's gonna take me
to see E.T. and
Raiders of the Lost Ark,
and a whole bunch
of other great films.
- Wow, I'd give
anything to see those.
- Why don't you get
somebody to take you?
- Well, my mom
works all the time.
- How 'bout your dad?
- My dad's back in California.
You see, they're divorced.
And I don't have any
brother and sisters,
and I don't have any friends
'cause we just moved here.
- Well, what do you do for fun?
- Go to school.
- I guess you didn't
here what I said.
I said, what do you do for fun?
- Nothing.
- Nothing?
Joey, man cannot
live by school alone.
Don't you at least
watch television?
- Yeah, but the neighbor
lady who looks in on my
only likes soap operas.
That sex stuff is
way over my head.
- Don't worry my
man, you'll learn.
- Anyway, my mom's
trying to get me a big brother
from the Boy's Club.
- That's a good deal,
sort of like rent-a-bro.
- Yeah, but I have to wait,
'cause there's not enough
big brothers to go around.
You're lucky, Arnold.
I sure wish I had a
big brother like you do.
- I wish you did too, Joey.
- Anybody like a snack?
I made some guacamole.
- Oh!
- Ooh, I'd love
some, thanks Pearl.
- How 'bout you Mr. Drummond?
- Whoa, my appetite says yes,
but the holes in my belt say no.
- Now you said
that you were gonna
start an exercise program.
- Oh, I started, right
at this very moment.
I'm in the middle
of doing something
that takes great
concentration and will power.
- What's that?
- Ignoring my fat.
- I'm an expert at that.
I stand on the scale
one leg at a time.
- Ah, what the heck!
- I'm with you.
- Hi!
- Hi Arnold.
- Where's Willis?
- Upstairs, in your room.
- Oh, great!
Wait here.
Oh, this is Joey from school.
- Hello, Joey from school.
- Hi.
- Hi Joey, our housekeeper
just fixed a snack.
Are you interested?
- Thanks, I'm hungry.
Arnold ate my lunch.
- What, well, that
wasn't very nice.
- Oh, he didn't take it.
I gave it to him
'cause I wasn't hungry.
- That's Arnold, always
willing to lend a helping mouth.
- Arnold, Arnold,
will you let go?
- I just want you
to meet my friend.
Joey, this is my
big brother, Willis.
- Hi Willis.
- How you doin', Joey?
Alright, got a good grip there.
- I'm tough for my size.
Don' let the haircut fool ya.
- Well, let's go get
that snack, Joey.
You like guacamole?
- What's that?
- Well, you take an avocado
and you give it heartburn,
then it does the same to you.
- How do you like him, Willis?
Cute little guy, isn't he?
- Yeah, he's okay.
- Okay, just okay?
Admit it Willis, that face
belongs on a box of pudding.
- Arnold, what is this
special interest you seem
to have in Joey?
- Well, his folks are divorced,
and his mom works all the time.
So, she signed him up
for the Big Brother program,
so he'd have
someone to play with.
- Well, he's got
you to play with.
- Yeah, but there's a lot
of good things I can't do
with him because I'm too young.
- Like what?
- Like getting into
R-rated movies.
- Yeah, it'd be a
tragedy if he missed
such a cultural experience.
- That's the way I see it.
See, Joey's waiting
for a big brother.
So, I thought maybe
you could do it.
- Hey, that's a very nice
thing for you to think of, Arnold.
- Arnold, I'm too busy.
And besides, I've been
a big brother ever since
the day you were born.
And remember, when mom
was changing your diapers,
I'm not the guy who had to duck.
- Come on, Willis.
I'm sure you got enough
room in your heart
to love two other
people besides me.
- What two others?
- Joey and yourself.
- Willis, I'm sure you
can find a little time
to lend a helping hand to
somebody who really needs it.
You know what they say,
it always comes back to ya.
- Look, Dad,
even if I could do it,
you can't rush into
anything like this.
You gotta find the right kid.
Someone with the
same interests as I do.
- Yeah, but where you
gonna find a six year old
who likes to hit
on teenage girls?
- At least, give is
some thought, Willis.
- But Dad, I really
got too much going on.
- Ah, come on Willis, it'd
only be for a couple of days.
- You make a great
snack, Kimberly.
- Oh, thanks, I
learned from Arnold.
You've heard of the
submarine sandwich?
- Sure.
- He invented the destroyer.
- Well, I hope it doesn't
destroy your dinner.
By the way, don't you
think you should call
your mother at work
and tell her you're here?
- Yeah, I think I better.
- Okay, come with me.
Here's the phone, it's
right there on the desk.
- Thank you.
- Help yourself.
- Do you have a phone book.
- Oh sure.
There you are.
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
- That's my kinda
kid, shorter than me.
- Hi Mom, this is Joey.
Sorry, Mr. Fitzgerald,
you sound like my mother.
Hi Mom, I just wanted to
tell you, I'm at Arnold's house.
Yeah, I've got a friend now.
Is it okay if I played
this afternoon?
I can do my chores later.
Yeah, I've got my key.
Thanks Mom.
Boy, Arnold's got a great
dad, and a great sister
and a big brother who
looks like Magnum P.I.,
without the mustache.
- You hear that, Dad?
Magnum P.I..
- I think of you
more as Willis P.U..
- Okay, see you at home Mom.
Bye-bye, I love you too Mommy.
- So um, you think I look
like Magnum P.I, huh?
- Yeah, you're a good-looking
dude with big muscles.
- You know, Dad,
I've been thinking.
Maybe I do have time
to be a big brother.
How would you like to
become an instant relative?
- You mean, you'd
be my big brother?
- You got it.
- Wow, great!
- Hey, that's great!
That's my boy, Willis.
Hey listen, maybe you
could get an extra ticket
for the Spielberg festival.
Would you like
to see that, Joey?
- Would I?
I've never seen
any of those movies!
- Oh Dad, I'm afraid
that's impossible
to get another ticket.
The only way Joey can go is
if I took him instead of Arnold.
- Run that by me again.
- Gee, I wouldn't
wanna do that to Arnold.
- Oh, I'm sure
Arnold wouldn't mind.
That'd be a very
nice gesture, Arnold.
And after all, you have
seen E.T. eight times.
One more time, and
your fingers gonna light up.
- Come on, Arnold.
It's no big deal for you.
And you're always such
a generous, terrific guy.
- Well...
- Remember, Arnold, you're
the one who wanted me
to be his big brother.
- I know, but uh...
Okay Joey, you
can go instead of me.
- Aww, great, way to go!
- Thanks, Arnold.
You're the best
friend I ever had.
And also, the only one.
- Well, dinner fans, I'm
offering you a choice tonight
for your dining pleasure.
You can have my special
succulent rack of lamb,
which the Washington Post
called a gastronomical triumph,
or you can have Ma
Goldberg's frozen fish sticks.
- Well, there's
really no choice,
we'll have the fish sticks.
- Good, I'll tell the new maid.
Incidentally, I see
there's an extra little mouth
about the house.
Will it be staying for dinner?
- Good thinking, Pearl.
- So how about it, Joey?
Would you like to stay?
- Gee, that'd be
terrific, thanks!
- If you're having
one of my meals,
you won't be needing this.
- Hey Joey, we oughta call
your mother and see if it's okay.
- Oh, I'm sure it's okay.
She's working tonight.
In fact, she's working
the whole weekend.
- Hey, well how 'bout Joey
spendin' the weekend with us?
- Would you like
to do that, Joey?
- Would I!
But, I need some other clothes.
- Hey, that's no problem.
Arnold will lend
you some of his.
Right, Arnold?
- Good idea.
What'd ya say, Arnold?
You were already nice
enough to give him the ticket.
- Sure, why not throw
in my underwear.
- Now we just gotta figure
out where Joey's gonna sleep.
- Why don't we just
give him my bed?
- Now, that's very
thoughtful of you, Arnold.
That'll give you a
chance to use your
brand new sleeping bag.
- Whoopee!
- Well, that's settled.
Let's go wash up
for dinner, Joey.
- Hey, so you really think
I look like Magnum, huh?
- Ya know, I'm really
proud of you Arnold,
for all the things
you're doing for Joey.
Makes you feel good
inside, doesn't it?
- Yeah, my insides
are having a ball.
I wonder if Steven
Spielberg was this stupid
when he was a kid.
- Morning, Arnold.
- Morning.
- I feel great!
- I feel like a sardine.
- Willis and I sure
had a great time
at that festival yesterday.
You should have been there.
- You're telling me.
- I was dreaming about
the part in the Raiders,
when they found Harrison
Ford hanging over the pit
of poisonous snakes.
- Don't give me any ideas.
- Aloha, little brother.
- Hey, Willis.
- I meant Joey.
Here's the plan for today.
First we go on a pony
ride through the park.
And then, we'll grab
a couple of hot dogs
and meet some of the
other big brothers for
a game of touch football.
Oh, and I've got good
news for you too, Arnold.
- Yeah?
- You'll get to stay
home and sleep in.
- What'chu talkin'
about, Willis?
- See, Arnold.
The whole idea of big
brothers is one-on-one.
You understand?
- Sure.
If anybody cares, I'm
gonna brush my teeth.
That is, if there's any
of my toothpaste left.
- Hold it, little brother.
Let Joey go first,
we're in a hurry.
See you downstairs
in five minutes.
- You bet, Willis.
- Bye.
- Man, guy can't even get in
his own bathroom anymore.
That's one nice thing about
being a goldfish, Abraham.
One bowl, no waiting.
- Good morning, Willis.
- Morning
- We were just talking about
Joey, and what a pleasure
it's been to have him with us.
- Yeah, too bad he's
gotta go home tonight.
You know, Arnold even
offered to help him pack.
- Pearl, I hope Joey hasn't
been too much trouble
for you the last couple days.
- Not at all.
He's a delight.
Even cleaned up after
himself when he made
a sandwich yesterday, unlike
some people I could mention.
- The only crumbs
I left in the kitchen
were Willis and Arnold.
- I must say Wills,
you really have taken
to Joey in a big way.
You're like a kid
with a new toy.
- Oh, I'm having a ball.
He's a great little guy.
I guess Arnold's really happy
about the way things turned out.
- Well, it sure has been a
lot of fun to have him with us.
And I think it was great of
you to be a big brother to him.
I really appreciate that.
Hi.
- Good Morning Arnold.
- Where's Joey?
- Probably putting a
ring around my bathtub.
- Not Joey, he'd
clean it right up.
How 'bout some pancakes, Arnold?
- I'm not hungry.
- Not hungry, for my pancakes?
Are you alright?
- I'm okay.
- You can't be sick,
it's not a school day.
- Maybe I'll eat later.
Excuse me, I got a
lot of stuff to do today.
- What's with him?
- Well, I get the impression
that his nose is a little
out of joint because
of all the attention we've
been giving to Joey.
We're gonna have to
make that up to him.
- Don't worry, kid.
I'm not gonna mug ya.
Just looking for dinner.
Sometimes, kids throw
away a lot of good food.
- Not me, I'm a human trash can.
- Then we got a lot in common.
How'd you get in the
school yard on a Sunday,
climb over the fence?
- No, I climbed under it.
I go to this school,
so I happen to know
where all the holes are.
Do you happen to
know what time it is?
- It's about a quarter to six.
What'd you gotta be somewhere?
- No.
How 'bout you?
- Oh, I gotta be in
Cleveland by March,
then I'm gonna hop
a train to Milwaukee.
I travel all over
the country like that.
The only problem is
sometimes you get freight lag.
What are you doing out
here, all alone, at this hour?
- Well, I was kinda thinking
about running away from home.
The way I feel right
now, wish I was dead.
- You're in the wrong place
for that, try Central Park.
Where do ya live, kid?
- Park Avenue.
- Park Avenue?
I got some friends who
got a great bench over there.
What'd you runnin' away for?
- 'Cause my family
doesn't want me anymore.
- I know that feeling.
My family dumped me too.
But, I showed 'em, I made
a total failure out of myself.
- What's it like being a bum?
I mean...
A happy wanderer?
- Oh, it's terrific!
I got my freedom,
no boss to answer to,
don't have to worry
about fancy clothes or cars,
out in the open
air all the time.
Ahhh, it's a great life.
This is the only
part I don't like.
- Well, thank you anyway Dudley.
But listen, if Arnold does
show up at your place,
please, have him
call home right away.
Okay, thank you.
Well, I'm afraid he's not
with any of his friends.
- Then, where could he be?
- He's never been
gone all day like this
without telling at least
one of us where he's going.
- Hey, how you doin'?
I just took Joey home.
Boy, that kid's a dynamo,
finally fell down, exhausted.
- Poor little guy.
- Not him, me.
Is there something wrong?
- Well, apparently
Arnold has disappeared.
- Disappeared?
Oh No, I guess he's more
upset than you thought, huh Dad?
- Yeah.
Look, why don't we all split up
and search the neighborhood.
He must be moping
around out there someplace.
- You mean, you've
never seen your folks
since you were a kid?
- Nope, don't even
remember what they look like.
I just remembered that the
short furry one was my dog.
He's the only one I miss.
- Man, I'd sure miss my family.
- Then, what are
you running away for?
Do they beat ya?
- No, the always hug me and
kiss me and slobber all over me.
A guy'd be crazy to run
away from a family like mine.
- Then, I don't get it.
- Well, I'm running away
because my feelings are hurt.
You're looking a a very
sensitive dude, here.
Maybe I'll take a
subway to Harlem.
- Hold it kid.
- You gonna mug me now?
- No.
I just wanna say if you
decide to hit the road,
I wish you luck.
Not everyone turns
out as good as me.
See ya kid, I gotta
check the other trashcans.
Later.
- Hi there.
- Dad, what are you doing here?
- Oh, just trying to catch
my breath after climbing
over that fence.
What's more important is
what are you doing here?
- Well, It's kind of
a halfway house
between here and Cleveland.
- Cleveland?
Do I get the impression
you're thinking of running away?
- It did enter my mind.
- Well, I think I can
understand that.
I guess you feel kind
of alienated and left out
because of all the attention
we've been paying to Joey.
That right?
- Let me put it this
way, I hate him!
And I hate myself for
hating him, but I hate him
more than I hate hating myself.
- Well, I tell you something
Arnold, this sounds familiar.
Kimberly said the
same thing about you.
- She did?
- Remember when you and
Willis first came to live with us?
All the love and attention
I showered on you,
especially you because
you were the littlest one.
- Yeah, those were
the good ole days.
- Well, Kimberly
didn't think so.
Oh, she thought it
was a great idea at first.
I remember one day, she
came rushing into my room,
practically in
tears, and she said
that you were a little...
Well, nevermind what she said.
The point is that she was
all pushed out of shape,
just about the way you are now.
- She was?
- That's right.
But, she soon came to
realize that I loved her
just as much as I always had.
And, we all love you just
as much as we ever did.
As far as we're
concerned, there'll never
be another one like you.
- Honest?
- Honest.
- There you guys are.
Man, Dad, I didn't
think you were gonna
check the schoolyard.
Arnold, you had me
worried about you.
Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
I just want you to know
that I'm not upset anymore
about you being insensitive
and ignoring my feelings.
- Good.
Don't worry, Arnold.
You always know you'll
be my number one, little bro.
Well, let's split, Dad.
- Split?
I already did that when
I came over the fence.
- Oh, Dad.
Now that I understand
about big brothers,
could I be a big brother to
someone who needs it too?
- Why sure you can, as
soon as you're old enough.
- Oh, I can't wait that long.
- Why, do you have
someone in mind?
- I sure do.
Hey, Mr. Happy Wanderer!
- Yeah, pal?
- I would like for you
to meet my family.
This is my dad.
♪ Now, the world don't move
to the beat of just one drum
♪ What might be right for
you, may not be right for some
♪ A man is born,
he's a man of means
♪ Then along come two,
they got nothing but their jeans
♪ But they got,
Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world
♪ Yes, it does
♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world
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