Diff'rent Strokes (1978–1986): Season 4, Episode 5 - The Big Heist - full transcript

♪ NOW, THE WORLD DON'T MOVE ♪

♪ TO THE BEAT OF JUST ONE DRUM ♪

♪ WHAT MIGHT BE RIGHT FOR YOU ♪

♪ MAY NOT BE RIGHT FOR SOME ♪

♪ A MAN IS BORN ♪

♪ HE'S A MAN OF MEANS ♪

♪ THEN ALONG COME TWO ♪

♪ THEY GOT NOTHIN'
BUT THEIR JEANS ♪

♪ BUT THEY GOT
DIFF'RENT STROKES ♪

♪ IT TAKES DIFF'RENT STROKES ♪

♪ IT TAKES DIFF'RENT STROKES ♪



♪ TO MOVE THE WORLD ♪

♪ EVERYBODY'S GOT ♪

♪ A SPECIAL KIND OF STORY ♪

♪ EVERYBODY FINDS
A WAY TO SHINE ♪

♪ IT DON'T MATTER THAT YOU GOT ♪

♪ NOT A LOT... SO WHAT? ♪

♪ THEY'LL HAVE THEIRS ♪

♪ AND YOU'LL HAVE YOURS ♪

♪ AND I'LL HAVE MINE ♪

♪ AND TOGETHER WE'LL BE FINE ♪

♪ 'CAUSE IT TAKES
DIFF'RENT STROKES ♪

♪ TO MOVE THE
WORLD, YES, IT DOES ♪

♪ IT TAKES DIFF'RENT
STROKES TO MOVE THE WORLD ♪

GOOD MORNING.



GOOD MORNING, ARNOLD.

WAS THERE A PHONE CALL FOR ME?

NOPE. I DON'T THINK SO.

ARE YOU SURE?

OH, POSITIVE, ARNOLD.
WHY ALL THE EXCITEMENT?

YOU MAY BE LOOKING
AT THE NEWEST MEMBER

OF A VERY EXCLUSIVE
CLUB AT MY SCHOOL.

IF IT'S SO EXCLUSIVE, HOW
COME THEY'RE LETTING YOU IN?

HA HA HA!

WILLIS, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE

TO BE PICKING GRAPE
NUTS OUT OF YOUR AFRO?

ARNOLD, THAT SOUNDS LIKE
IT MIGHT BE A LOT OF FUN.

PICKING GRAPE NUTS
OUT OF HIS AFRO?

NO, JOINING A CLUB.

YOU MEET NEW FRIENDS,
HAVE A LOT OF FUN.

I REMEMBER ONE THAT I
JOINED WHEN I WAS IN COLLEGE,

ALL THE SILLY THINGS
WE USED TO DO.

HEH HEH. I'LL NEVER
FORGET MY INITIATION.

I HAD TO SWALLOW
A LIVE GOLDFISH.

THAT'S DISGUSTING.

NO, THE DISGUSTING PART WAS

THAT THEY MADE ME
DRINK RED WINE WITH FISH.

I WONDER WHAT I'LL HAVE TO
DO TO JOIN THE BARRACUDAS.

THAT'S A STRANGE
NAME, THE BARRACUDAS.

IT WAS NAMED BY A
STRANGE GUY... THE GOOCH.

NOW, WAIT A MINUTE, ARNOLD.

I DON'T WANT YOU
TO JOIN SOME CLUB

WITH A TOUGH BUNCH
OF KIDS LIKE THE GOOCH.

OH, DAD, THEY'RE
REALLY SWELL GUYS.

AND THE GOOCH HAS CHANGED!

YOU MEAN HE DOESN'T HOWL
ANYMORE WHEN THERE'S A FULL MOON?

HOW HAS HE CHANGED, ARNOLD?

WELL, LIKE, HE'S KIND
OF CALMED DOWN.

OH, YOU MEAN HE'S MELLOWED.

YEAH, EVEN HIS
MANNERS ARE BETTER.

NOW AFTER MEALS, HE
LICKS HIS OWN FINGERS,

NOT EVERYBODY ELSE'S.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

THAT'S HIM! I GOT IT!

PLEASE, DAD, LET
ME JOIN! PLEASE!

[TELEPHONE RINGS] WELL, OK.

AS LONG AS THERE ISN'T
GONNA BE ANY ROUGH STUFF.

THANKS, DAD.
YOU'RE THE GREATEST.

I KNOW.

HELLO?

HI, GOOCH. WELL, WHAT
DID YOU DECIDE ABOUT ME?

WELL, AM I A BARRACUDA
OR A DEAD HERRING?

I AM?

ALL RIGHT! I MADE IT! I MADE IT!

I'M A BARRACUDA.

GREAT, ARNOLD.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

HELLO?

OH, OH, NO, GOOCH. NO, I
DIDN'T MEAN TO HANG UP ON YOU.

YOU THINK I'M CRAZY?

WHAT ABOUT THE INITIATION?

OH, SURE, MY DAD TOLD
ME ALL ABOUT THOSE THINGS.

WHAT DO I HAVE TO
DO? EAT A GOLDFISH?

WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO?

RUN THAT BY ME AGAIN.

YOU... YEAH, BUT...

YEAH, I WANT TO BE
A PART OF YOUR CLUB.

OK. CONSIDER IT DONE.

WELL, DON'T KEEP US
IN SUSPENSE, ARNOLD.

WHAT'S YOUR INITIATION?

WELL, IT'S... IT'S A SECRET.

OH, COME ON, ARNOLD.
WE'RE NOT GONNA TELL.

YEAH, COME ON. WHAT IS IT, MAN?

NOW, NOW. COME ON, NOW.
LET'S NOT PRESSURE HIM.

INITIATIONS ARE
SUPPOSED TO BE SECRET.

IF HE DOESN'T WANT TO
TELL US, THAT'S HIS PRIVILEGE.

THANKS, DAD.

BUT YOU COULD
GIVE US A LITTLE HINT.

COME ON, ARNOLD. PLEASE.

TELL US, ARNOLD. WHAT IS IT?

WELL...

ALL RIGHT. I'LL TELL YOU.

I HAVE TO STAND ON ONE FOOT

AND SING THE STAR
SPANGLED BANNER

IN FRONT OF THE GIRL'S LAVATORY.

WELL, AT LEAST THEY DIDN'T
ASK YOU TO DO SOMETHING SILLY.

HEY, ARNOLD, YOU
BETTER GET WITH IT.

YOU'RE GONNA BE LATE FOR SCHOOL.

BOY... FISH ARE LUCKY.

THEY DON'T HAVE ANY PROBLEMS.

THEY DON'T EVEN GET PIMPLES.

YOU GOT A PIMPLE?

NO, JUST A PROBLEM.

WELL, HEY, LAY IT ON ME, BRO.

I MEAN, WHEN DEAR
ABBY HAS A PROBLEM,

SHE COMES TO ME.

SO, WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?

WELL... IT'S A SECRET.

HEY, BROTHERS DON'T
HAVE ANY SECRETS.

OH, YES, THEY DO.

YOU DON'T KNOW
EVERYTHING ABOUT ME, WILLIS.

SURE I DO, ARNOLD.

NO, YOU DON'T. DID YOU KNOW

THAT I HIDE MY MONEY IN
A SOCK IN MY TOP DRAWER?

NO, I DIDN'T.

AND YOU NEVER WILL.

WELL, ANYWAY, ARNOLD,
WHATEVER'S BUGGING YOU,

YOU SHOULD TALK
ABOUT IT. IT MIGHT HELP.

I JUST CAN'T.

OK, FORGET IT.

OH, YOU DON'T CARE
ABOUT MY PROBLEMS.

SURE I DO, ARNOLD, BUT
I'M NOT A MIND READER.

IT'S ABOUT MY SECRET INITIATION.

LISTEN, NO PROBLEM. IF YOU HAVE
TROUBLE HITTING THOSE HIGH NOTES

IN THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER,

WEAR TIGHT UNDERWEAR.

IT'S NOT THAT.

THEN WHAT IS YOUR
PROBLEM, BROTHER?

WELL, I GUESS IF I TOLD
ABRAHAM, I CAN TELL YOU.

YEAH, BLOOD IS
THICKER THAN FISH.

WELL, I KIND OF LIED BEFORE.

YOU SEE, WILLIS, FOR
MY SECRET INITIATION,

I HAVE TO STEAL
SOMETHING. SAY WHAT?

IF I DON'T, THE GOOCH
WON'T LET ME INTO HIS CLUB.

THAT'S THE DUMBEST
THING I EVER HEARD OF.

STEALING IS WRONG,
ARNOLD. YOU KNOW THAT,

AND YOU'RE NOT GONNA DO IT.

BUT I GOTTA! IF I
GET INTO THAT CLUB,

I'LL REALLY BE SOMEBODY.

YEAH, AND IF DAD FINDS
OUT, HE'LL BLOW HIS TOP.

AND YOU'LL BE SOMEBODY
WHO NEEDS A NEW BOTTOM.

BUT, WILLIS, THIS IS THE MOST
IMPORTANT THING IN MY LIFE.

LISTEN, ARNOLD. IF IT'S SO
IMPORTANT TO GET INTO THIS CLUB,

WHY DON'T YOU JUST BUY SOMETHING
AND TELL THE GOOCH YOU STOLE IT?

I CAN'T DO THAT! WHY NOT?

IT WOULD BE DISHONEST.

LISTEN, ARNOLD,

NO STEALING, NO WAY. YOU HEAR?

I HEAR.

HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND, ABRAHAM.

IT WON'T BE LIKE A
BIG HEIST OR ANYTHING.

I'LL JUST STEAL
SOMETHING REAL CHEAP,

YOU KNOW, LIKE SOMETHING
THAT ONLY COSTS A QUARTER.

AND I'LL MAIL THEM
THE MONEY BACK!

ON SECOND THOUGHT,
IT'S KIND OF DUMB

TO SPEND 20 CENTS
TO MAIL A QUARTER.

HI, THERE. I WASN'T
GONNA STEAL IT!

I BEG YOUR PARDON?

I... I... I MEAN, UH, YOU
KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

JUST BROWSING.

NO. JUST LOOKING AROUND.

ARE YOU LOOKING FOR
ANYTHING IN PARTICULAR?

YES. THE DOOR. BYE.

BYE.

[WHISPERING] Fingerprints!

HOLD IT RIGHT THERE,
YOU LITTLE THIEF!

MAN...

WHEN MY DAD GETS
HERE, HE'S GONNA KILL ME.

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU'RE
GONNA GET OFF THAT EASY?

UH-OH.

I CAN'T BELIEVE
THIS OF YOU, ARNOLD.

WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT IN A MINUTE.

I'M HIS FATHER, PHILIP DRUMMOND.

YOU'RE HIS FATHER?

HE WAS ADOPTED.

BUT WITHOUT HANDCUFFS.

WHY IN THE WORLD
WOULD YOU PUT HANDCUFFS

ON A 10-YEAR-OLD?
WHAT DID HE STEAL,

THE STATUE OF LIBERTY?

CAN I HAVE A WORD WITH YOU, SIR?

OF COURSE.

LOOK, HE ONLY
STOLE A COMIC BOOK,

BUT WHAT I USUALLY DO
IN A SITUATION LIKE THIS

IS I TRY TO PUT A SCARE INTO
THE KIDS, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

HANDCUFFS SEEM TO
WORK PRETTY GOOD.

I CATCH YOUR DRIFT.

OK, YOUNG FELLA, I THINK
WE CAN TAKE THOSE OFF NOW.

HOPE THEY WEREN'T TOO TIGHT.

ARNOLD, WHAT ON
EARTH MADE YOU STEAL?

DAD, I HAD TO.

IT WAS FOR MY SECRET INITIATION.

AND THE GOOCH LIKES COMIC BOOKS.

WELL, WHAT ABOUT SINGING
THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER?

IT'S NOT NECESSARY, BUT
IF YOU WANT TO, GO AHEAD.

WE'LL TALK ABOUT THIS
MORE WHEN WE GET HOME.

WOULD YOU CONSIDER
JUST FORGETTING IT?

NO, I WOULDN'T. NOW, YOU
JUST PAY FOR THAT COMIC BOOK,

AND LET'S GO.

I'M AFRAID IT NOT QUITE
THAT SIMPLE, MR. DRUMMOND.

YOU'LL HAVE TO TAKE IT UP
WITH THE OWNER, MRS. CRAIG.

I'VE PHONED HER. SHE'LL
BE HERE ANY MINUTE.

NOW, IS THAT REALLY NECESSARY?

KIDS!

EVERY TIME I LOOK AROUND,

ONE OF 'EM'S RIPPING ME OFF.

IS THIS THE LITTLE THIEF?

YES. I MEAN, NO.

MY SON IS NOT A THIEF.

YOU'RE STILL WILLING TO
ADMIT THAT YOU'RE MY FATHER?

JUST BARELY.

ARNOLD, I'M SHOCKED.

YOU LIED TO ME ABOUT THE GOOCH.
YOU LIED TO ME ABOUT YOUR INITIATION,

AND NOW YOU'VE JUST
STOLEN SOMETHING.

HE'S REALLY A
LOVELY LITTLE CHILD.

I'VE HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE.

LOOK, I CAN'T RUN A
BUSINESS THIS WAY.

SOMETHING HAS GOT TO BE
DONE ABOUT ALL THIS CRIME.

YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO BE UPSET.

POOR KIDS STEAL.
RICH KIDS STEAL.

AND SOMETIMES IT'S NOT
EVEN FOR THE MONEY...

JUST FOR THE
KICKS. RIGHT. I AGREE.

GOOD! BECAUSE I INTEND
TO PRESS CHARGES

AGAINST THAT LITTLE THIEF.

YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!

PRESSING CHARGES
FOR A COMIC BOOK...

THAT COSTS 12 CENTS?

HEH. IT HAPPENS
TO BE WORTH $400.

WHAT YOU TALKIN' 'BOUT, LADY?

OH, I GET IT.

MRS. CRAIG...

I'M WILLING TO PAY YOU A LITTLE
SOMETHING FOR YOUR TROUBLE,

BUT LET'S BE REASONABLE.
HOW ABOUT 50 BUCKS?

ARE YOU TRYING TO BRIBE ME?

DAD, YOU BETTER NOT ANSWER
THAT IN FRONT OF THE COP.

IT SO HAPPENS THAT
THIS COMIC BOOK

IS A 1963 SPIDER MAN
NUMBER ONE SERIES.

IT IS A RARE COPY,
AND IT IS WORTH $400.

THAT'S TRUE, MR. DRUMMOND. WOULD
YOU CARE TO LOOK IT UP IN THE CATALOG?

NO, THAT WON'T BE NECESSARY.

I'LL WRITE YOU A CHECK.

OH, NO.

HEH.

I'LL BET THAT'S YOUR
LIMOUSINE OUT FRONT, HMM?

YES. WHAT ABOUT IT?

MMM. I THOUGHT SO.

YOU RICH PEOPLE THINK YOU CAN
BUY YOUR WAY OUT OF ANYTHING.

WELL, YOU'RE NOT GETTING
OFF THAT EASILY THIS TIME.

NOW, WAIT A MINUTE.

NO, YOU WAIT. I HAVE HAD IT.

WE ARE TALKING
GRAND LARCENY HERE.

GRAND LARCENY!

COME ON!

I'M AFRAID THE LADY'S RIGHT.
ANYTHING OVER $250 IS GRAND LARCENY.

GRAND LARCENY!

WHAT DO YOU GET FOR THAT?

IF YOU'RE A FATHER,
A HEART ATTACK.

I'M NOT A THIEF.
I'M JUST STUPID.

LOOK, IT WAS JUST
A CHILDISH PRANK.

ARNOLD HAS NEVER DONE
ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE,

AND I ASSURE YOU, HE'LL NEVER
DO ANYTHING LIKE THIS AGAIN.

[SIGHS] YOU CAN TELL YOUR
SAD STORY TO THE JUDGE.

LOOK, AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED,

YOUR SON IS GOING TO JAIL.

JAIL?

DAD, I DON'T WANT TO GO TO JAIL!

ARNOLD, WILL YOU STOP WORRYING?

HOW CAN I? I'M A
JUVENILE DELINQUENT,

A MAN WITH A PAST BEFORE
I EVEN HAD A FUTURE.

A THIEF CAUGHT IN THE ACT.

WELL, ARNOLD, HEY, LISTEN.

DADDY'S NOT GOING TO LET
ANYTHING HAPPEN TO YOU.

YOU KNOW HE'S GOT THE
BEST LAWYER MONEY CAN BUY.

YEAH. WHAT I NEED IS THE
BEST JUDGE MONEY CAN BUY.

I HAVE TO SEE A PROBATION
OFFICER TOMORROW.

ARNOLD, IT'S NOT EVEN
GOING TO GO TO COURT.

DAD AND HIS LAWYER ARE
OVER THERE RIGHT NOW

TALKING MRS. CRAIG OUT OF IT.

YOU MEAN THE DRAGON LADY?

HEY, WILLIS, WILL YOU
PLEASE TELL ARNOLD

TO STOP WORRYING?

HEY, ARNOLD. STOP WORRYING, MAN.

I MEAN, IS THIS ANY WAY TO SPEND
YOUR LAST FEW DAYS OF FREEDOM?

I'M JUST KIDDING. I'M JUST
TRYING TO CHEER YOU UP.

WELL, IT'S NOT WORKING.

WILLIS, HOW COME YOU DIDN'T
STOP ME FROM STEALING?

ARNOLD, WHAT DO YOU
THINK I WAS TRYING TO DO?

I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO IT.

LISTEN, I DID
EVERYTHING I COULD.

YOU DIDN'T THREATEN ME.

ARNOLD, WHAT WAS
I SUPPOSED TO DO?

BREAK BOTH OF YOUR ARMS
AND TWIST YOUR HEAD OFF?

YEAH, IF YOU REALLY LOVED ME.

HEY, ARNOLD, LOOK WHAT
ADELAIDE BROUGHT FOR YOU.

HERE, HONEY. THIS WILL
MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER.

IT'S YOUR FAVORITE
PEANUT BUTTER COOKIES

AND A DOUBLE CHOCOLATE
MILK ON THE ROCKS.

NO, THANKS, ADELAIDE.

MAYBE I OUGHT TO GET
USED TO BREAD AND WATER.

OH, HONEY, COME ON, CHEER UP.

YOUR DAD'S GONNA COME
BACK WITH GOOD NEWS.

YOU REALLY THINK SO?

YEP. I FEEL IT IN MY BONES.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

HI, GANG.

WHAT HAPPENED WITH MRS. CRAIG?

I'M AFRAID SHE
TURNED US DOWN, SON.

I GUESS YOU CAN'T
TRUST OLD BONES.

LOOK, ARNOLD...

I DID EVERYTHING
I COULD THINK OF,

AND I JUST COULDN'T
BUDGE THAT WOMAN.

WELL, WHAT ABOUT
YOUR LAWYER, DAD?

HE DID THE BEST HE COULD, TOO.

WELL, THANKS FOR TRYING, DAD.

I GUESS THE ONLY TIME I'LL
BE SEEING YOU FROM NOW ON

IS ON VISITOR'S DAY.

LOOK, ARNOLD, WHAT YOU
DID TODAY WAS INEXCUSABLE,

AND YOU DO DESERVE
TO BE PUNISHED FOR IT.

THAT'S WHY WE'RE GONNA
HAVE TO GO TO FAMILY COURT.

FAMILY COURT?

YOU MEAN WHEN I GO TO JAIL,

YOU'LL ALL HAVE TO COME WITH ME?

NO, YOU'RE NOT GONNA
GO TO JAIL, ARNOLD.

THEY SIMPLY SET A
DATE. WE GO TO COURT.

THE JUDGE WILL UNDERSTAND
IT'S YOUR FIRST OFFENSE

AND THAT IT WAS
JUST A CHILDISH PRANK.

YEAH, ARNOLD, AND WHEN
HE SEES THOSE CUTE CHEEKS,

HE'S GONNA PINCH 'EM
AND SEND YOU RIGHT HOME.

RIGHT, ARNOLD. IT'S
GONNA BE A PIECE OF CAKE.

WELL, JUST IN CASE,
COULD YOU PUT A FILE IN IT?

NOW, DON'T WORRY, ARNOLD.

OUR LAWYER, MR. BISHOP,
SAYS HE'S PRETTY SURE

THAT THEY'LL LET YOU
OFF WITH JUST A WARNING.

OH, HE'LL BE IN COURT, TOO,

BUT HE FEELS THAT IF HE
STAYS IN THE BACKGROUND

AND LETS US PLEAD OUR OWN CASE,

THE JUDGE WILL GO EASIER ON US.

YOU FEEL BETTER NOW, ARNOLD?

YEAH, A LITTLE BETTER.

OK, IT'S BEEN A TOUGH DAY.

LET'S PACK IT IN.

GOOD NIGHT. GOOD
NIGHT, YOU GUYS.

GOOD NIGHT, KIMBERLY.

HEY, LISTEN, ARNOLD, YOU WANT
TO USE THE BATHROOM FIRST?

NAH, YOU GO AHEAD
AND WARM IT UP FOR ME.

HI, GOD. IT'S ME AGAIN.

ARNOLD JACKSON OF THE
PARK AVENUE JACKSONS.

I GUESS YOU'RE PRETTY MAD AT ME

FOR BREAKING ONE OF
YOUR 10 COMMANDMENTS.

BUT I ONLY COVETED A COMIC BOOK,

NOT MY NEIGHBOR'S WIFE.

BESIDES, 9 OUT OF
10 ISN'T BAD, IS IT?

ANYWAY, I KNOW YOU'RE REAL BUSY,

BUT IF YOU COULD FIND THE TIME,

COULD YOU PLEASE FIND ME
A GOOD JUDGE FOR MY TRIAL?

ANYONE YOU WANT,

AS LONG AS HE BELIEVES IN
EQUAL JUSTICE FOR EVERYBODY,

ESPECIALLY ME.

WELL, THANKS, GOD.

I'LL SEE YOU IN COURT.

NOW, ARNOLD, AS YOUR LAWYER,

MY ADVICE IS THAT
YOU JUST RELAX.

EVERYTHING WILL BE ALL RIGHT.

MR. BISHOP, MAYBE I COULD RELAX

IF YOU SAT HERE NEXT TO ME.

IN FACT, I'D BE EVEN MORE RELAXED
IF YOU SAT HERE INSTEAD OF ME.

ARNOLD, WOULD YOU FEEL
BETTER IF YOU HELD MY HAND?

I'LL HOLD ANYTHING YOU GIVE ME.

JUNOT FAMILY COURT OF THE CITY
OF NEW YORK WILL COME TO ORDER.

ALL RISE.

JUDGE FRANCIS W.
BISCAY PRESIDING.

THANKS, GOD. THAT'S
MY KIND OF JUDGE.

BE SEATED.

IT'LL BE ALL RIGHT, ARNOLD.

THE FIRST CASE, YOUR HONOR,
IS CRAIG VERSUS JACKSON.

IS MRS. CRAIG PRESENT?

HERE, YOUR HONOR.

IS MR. ARNOLD JACKSON PRESENT?

RIGHT ON, BROTHER.

A SIMPLE "YES, YOUR
HONOR" WILL BE APPRECIATED.

YES, YOUR HONOR.

IS MR. JACKSON
REPRESENTED BY COUNSEL?

YES, YOUR HONOR.

BUT HE'S NOT GONNA SAY ANYTHING,

EVEN THOUGH MY FATHER
PAYS HIM 150 BUCKS AN HOUR.

I'M WELL AWARE OF
WHITE COLLAR CRIME.

YOUR HONOR, MY CLIENT WOULD
LIKE TO ADMIT TO THE CHARGE

WHICH IS ALLEGED
IN THE PETITION.

BUT WE WOULD ASK YOU TO
HEAR THE CIRCUMSTANCES.

VERY WELL.

NOW THEN, MRS. CRAIG,
THE PETITION STATES

THAT ARNOLD JACKSON
ENTERED YOUR STORE

AND PROCEEDED TO STEAL
A COMIC BOOK WORTH $400.

RIGHT, YOUR HONOR.

AND IT'S NOT THE FIRST TIME.

I OBJECT, YOUR HONOR.

ARNOLD HAS NEVER STOLEN
ANYTHING BEFORE IN HIS LIFE.

THAT'S RIGHT, YOUR HONOR!

YEAH! HE'S AN HONEST LITTLE KID.

WHO ARE ALL OF YOU?

I'M HIS FATHER.

I'M HIS BROTHER.

AND I'M HIS SISTER.

WELL, I MUST SAY YOU HAVE
A COLORFUL FAMILY TREE.

YOU WERE SAYING, MRS. CRAIG?

YOUR HONOR, I DIDN'T MEAN
THAT THIS BOY HAD STOLEN BEFORE.

I JUST MEANT I'M TIRED OF BEING
RIPPED OFF BY A LOT OF KIDS

AND SEEING THEM GET AWAY
WITH IT JUST BECAUSE THEY'RE KIDS.

I MEAN, IF THEY'RE OLD ENOUGH TO STEAL,
THEY'RE OLD ENOUGH TO PAY THE PENALTY.

I COULDN'T AGREE WITH YOU MORE.

JUVENILE THEFT IS
A SERIOUS PROBLEM.

AND I INTEND TO DO EVERYTHING
IN MY POWER TO PUT A STOP TO IT.

ARE YOU SURE YOU
SENT THE RIGHT JUDGE?

ARNOLD, WHOM ARE YOU TALKING TO?

GOD.

I SEE. YOU WENT STRAIGHT
TO THE SUPREME COURT.

YOUNG MAN, COME HERE.

NOW...

EXACTLY WHY DID YOU
TAKE THE COMIC BOOK?

DID YOU TAKE IT FOR
THE THRILL OF STEALING?

OH, NO, YOUR HONOR.

HE TOOK IT FOR THE GOOCH.

THE GOOCH?

WHAT IS A GOOCH?

IT'S A BIG UGLY THING
WITH BUSHY HAIR,

LITTLE BEADY EYES, AND BIG PAWS.

IS IT A PERSON OR AN ANIMAL?

BOTH.

SEE, THE GOOCH SAID I
HAD TO STEAL SOMETHING

OR I COULDN'T
BECOME A BARRACUDA.

A BARRACUDA.

OH, THAT'S A CLUB, YOUR HONOR.

YOU KNOW, LIKE THE SCOUTS,
ONLY THEY DON'T PUSH COOKIES.

NO. THEY STEAL COMIC BOOKS.

I DIDN'T WANT TO STEAL.

I WANTED TO SWALLOW A
LIVE GOLDFISH LIKE MY DAD.

A MAN YOUR AGE IS STILL
DOING THOSE JUVENILE PRANKS?

OH, NO, YOUR HONOR, I HAVEN'T
HAD A GOLDFISH FOR YEARS.

YOUNG MAN, WHETHER YOU WERE
AWARE OF THE VALUE OF THE BOOK OR NOT,

THE FACT STILL REMAINS THAT
YOU COMMITTED GRAND LARCENY.

DAD, WHAT'S HAPPENING?

I THOUGHT YOU SAID THIS
WOULD BE A PIECE OF CAKE.

THAT IF WE DID OUR OWN TALKING,

THE JUDGE WOULD BE A PUSHOVER.

YOU TOLD YOUR SON THAT?

AHEM. NOT EXACTLY.

MY OTHER SON TOLD HIM THAT.

WHAT KIND OF VALUES ARE
YOU TEACHING YOUR CHILDREN?

LOOK, YOUR HONOR, WE WERE ALL
TRYING TO MAKE ARNOLD FEEL BETTER.

HE WAS A VERY
FRIGHTENED LITTLE BOY.

BUT SINCE YOU'VE ASKED ME,

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT KIND OF
VALUES I TEACH MY CHILDREN.

I TEACH THEM TO BE
KIND AND RESPECTFUL.

I ENCOURAGE THEM
TO BE DECENT PEOPLE

WHO HAVE FEELINGS FOR OTHERS.

NOW, ARNOLD IS A FINE
BOY AND A WONDERFUL SON.

MRS. CRAIG, I UNDERSTAND
HOW YOU FEEL,

BUT I JUST THINK YOU'VE
CHOSEN THE WRONG BOY

TO MAKE AN EXAMPLE OF.

MRS. CRAIG, I KNOW
IT'S WRONG TO STEAL,

AND I'M SORRY.

BUT WHEN YOU'RE 10 YEARS OLD,
YOU DO A LOT OF DUMB THINGS,

BUT THEY SAY I'LL
GROW OUT OF IT.

MRS. CRAIG,

LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING.

IS THIS THE FACE OF
A GRAND LARCENIST?

WELL, YOUR HONOR,

MAYBE IN THIS CASE I
HAVE MADE A MISTAKE.

UH... WHAT DO I DO ABOUT IT?

IF YOU ASK, I CAN
DROP THE CHARGES.

SO I ASK.

SO I DROP.

CASE DISMISSED. [BANGS GAVEL]

[APPLAUSE]

THANKS, MRS. CRAIG.

I TAKE BACK ALL THE THINGS

YOU NEVER HEARD
ME SAY ABOUT YOU.

AND YOU DID MAKE A MISTAKE.

YOU'D REALIZE THAT IF
YOU KNEW ME BETTER.

OH, MRS. CRAIG WILL GET A
CHANCE TO KNOW YOU BETTER.

HOW?

I'LL TELL YA HOW.

BY YOU GOING TO HER STORE

EVERY DAY AFTER
SCHOOL FOR A MONTH

AND SWEEPING UP.

THAT IS, IF IT'S ALL
RIGHT WITH MRS. CRAIG.

OH, IT CERTAINLY IS.

A MONTH?

THAT'S RIGHT.

MR. BISHOP?

YES, ARNOLD?

JUST DON'T SIT THERE.

YOU GOT A CLIENT
IN BIG TROUBLE HERE.

♪ NOW, THE WORLD DON'T MOVE ♪

♪ TO THE BEAT OF JUST ONE DRUM ♪

♪ WHAT MIGHT BE RIGHT FOR YOU ♪

♪ MAY NOT BE RIGHT FOR SOME ♪

♪ A MAN IS BORN ♪

♪ HE'S A MAN OF MEANS ♪

♪ THEN ALONG COME TWO ♪

♪ THEY GOT NOTHIN'
BUT THEIR JEANS ♪

♪ BUT THEY GOT
DIFF'RENT STROKES ♪

♪ IT TAKES DIFF'RENT STROKES ♪

♪ IT TAKES DIFF'RENT STROKES ♪

♪ TO MOVE THE
WORLD, YES, IT DOES ♪

♪ IT TAKES DIFF'RENT
STROKES TO MOVE THE WORLD ♪

♪ HMM ♪