Diff'rent Strokes (1978–1986): Season 3, Episode 6 - Football Father - full transcript

♪ NOW THE WORLD DON'T MOVE ♪

♪ TO THE BEAT OF JUST ONE DRUM ♪

♪ WHAT MIGHT BE RIGHT FOR YOU ♪

♪ MAY NOT BE RIGHT FOR SOME ♪

♪ A MAN IS BORN ♪

♪ HE'S A MAN OF MEANS ♪

♪ THEN ALONG COME TWO ♪

♪ THEY GOT NOTHING
BUT THEIR JEANS ♪

♪ BUT THEY GOT
DIFF'RENT STROKES ♪

♪ IT TAKES DIFF'RENT STROKES ♪

♪ IT TAKES DIFF'RENT STROKES ♪



♪ TO MOVE THE WORLD ♪

♪ EVERYBODY'S GOT A
SPECIAL KIND OF STORY ♪

♪ EVERYBODY FINDS
A WAY TO SHINE ♪

♪ IT DON'T MATTER THAT YOU GOT ♪

♪ NOT A LOT ♪

♪ SO WHAT? ♪

♪ THEY'LL HAVE THEIRS
AND YOU'LL HAVE YOURS ♪

♪ AND I'LL HAVE MINE ♪

♪ AND TOGETHER WE'LL BE FINE ♪

♪ 'CAUSE IT TAKES
DIFF'RENT STROKES ♪

♪ TO MOVE THE WORLD ♪

♪ YES, IT DOES, IT TAKES
DIFF'RENT STROKES ♪

♪ TO MOVE THE WORLD ♪

OKAY.



OKAY, FINE WILLIS.

AND HAVE A GREAT TIME
ON YOUR CAMPING TRIP.

AND LISTEN, BE ON THE
LOOKOUT FOR INSECTS, SNAKES

AND WILD ANIMALS.

AND THE MOST
DANGEROUS THING OF ALL,

YOUR OWN COOKING.

OKAY, I'LL TELL THEM.

THANKS FOR CALLING, WILLIS.

EVERYBODY, WILLIS
SENDS HIS LOVE.

COME ON OUTSIDE

AND I'LL TOSS YOU A FEW
BEFORE YOUR TRYOUT.

NO THANKS.

YOU MEAN YOU'RE
NOT GOING TO WARM UP

BEFORE YOUR TRYOUTS?

KIMBERLY, I TOLD YOU
I'M NOT TRYING OUT

FOR THE TEAM.

YOU GOT BEANS IN YOUR EARS?

ARNOLD, I THOUGHT FOOTBALL
WAS YOUR MOST FAVORITE SPORT.

WELL, IT IS NEXT TO EATING.

BUT WHAT'S THE POINT?

I DIDN'T MAKE THE
FOOTBALL TEAM LAST YEAR,

SO I WON'T MAKE IT
THIS YEAR, EITHER.

WHY NOT?

I'M TOO SHORT.

ARNOLD, IT'S THE PEE-WEE LEAGUE.

YOU'RE NOT TOO SHORT.

OKAY, I'M NOT TOO SHORT.

I'M REAL TALL.

I'M JUST GOOD AT
KEEPING IT A SECRET.

THE POINT IS, HONEY,

KEEP TRYING, DON'T GIVE UP.

THEY KNOCK YOU DOWN, YOU GET UP.

THEY KNOCK YOU DOWN AGAIN,

YOU GET UP AGAIN.

THAT SHOWS YOU GOT GUTS.

YEAH, ALL OVER THE FIELD.

ARNOLD WHAT ADELAIDE
REALLY MEANS IS

THAT YOU SHOULDN'T BE
A QUITTER AND GIVE UP.

WILLIE SHOEMAKER NEVER GAVE UP.

TRACY AUSTIN NEVER GAVE UP.

AND THEN THERE'S ORVILLE DIDDLY.

WHO'S HE?

SEE, YOU DIDN'T KNOW,

THAT'S BECAUSE HE GAVE UP.

DAD, DON'T JOKE.

LOOK, I WENT OUT FOR BASKETBALL,

AND THEY SAID COME BACK
WHEN THEY LOWER THE BASKET

OR RAISE THE FLOOR.

I WENT OUT FOR
BASEBALL, AND THEY SAID

I WAS EVEN TOO SHORT
TO BE SHORTSTOP.

THEN I WENT OUT FOR VOLLEYBALL,

AND THEY WANTED TO
USE ME FOR THE BALL.

COME ON, ARNOLD.

YOU GOT TO GET IN THERE
AND GIVE IT YOUR BEST SHOT.

RIGHT, REMEMBER,

IT'S NOT THE SIZE OF
THE DOG IN THE FIGHT,

IT'S THE SIZE OF THE
FIGHT IN THE DOG.

WELL, REMEMBER,

YOU'RE NOT TALKING
TO A GREAT DANE,

YOU'RE TALKING TO A CHIHUAHUA.

NOW LISTEN, EVERYBODY,

IF ARNOLD DOESN'T FEEL UP TO IT,

LET'S NOT BUG HIM ABOUT IT.

IT'S HIS PRIVILEGE.

NOW SEE, DAD
KNOWS THERE'S NO USE

FOR A GUY MY SIZE TO
GO OUT FOR FOOTBALL.

OH, NO, WAIT A MINUTE.
I DIDN'T SAY THAT.

THERE HAVE BEEN MANY
OUTSTANDING FOOTBALL PLAYERS

WHO WERE NOT BIG GUYS.

OH, YEAH? WHO?

ALL RIGHT, THERE WAS
COTTON WARBURTON,

ALL-AMERICAN, USC.

THERE WAS BUDDY YOUNG,
ALL-AMERICAN, ILLINOIS.

EDDIE LEBARON WAS
THE QUARTERBACK

FOR THE WASHINGTON REDSKINS.

AS A MATTER OF FACT,
I PLAYED FOOTBALL

AND I'M NOT EXACTLY
MEAN JOE GREEN.

YOU'RE NOT EVEN ONE OF HIS LEGS.

WHAT POSITION DID YOU PLAY?

TIGHT END,

BUT BY HALFTIME I
WAS ALWAYS SOBER.

YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS,

BUT I ACTUALLY CAUGHT
THE TOUCHDOWN PASS

THAT WON US OUR LAST GAME.

I WENT DEEP INTO
THE END ZONE, SEE,

AND THEN JOHNNY YU
LAID IT RIGHT IN THERE.

JOHNNY UNITAS?

YOU PLAYED WITH JOHNNY UNITAS?

NO, NO, JOHNNY YU, Y-U,
JAPANESE EXCHANGE STUDENT.

HE WAS VERY SMALL,

BUT HE WAS FAST
LIKE YOU, ARNOLD.

HE COULD RUN LIKE A RABBIT.

WELL, I'M NOT EXACTLY A RABBIT,

BUT I CAN OUTRUN A CHICKEN.

NOW YOU'RE TALKING, KIDDO.

YOU CAN BE SMALL,
BUT YOU CAN WALK TALL.

SURE, YOU'VE NEVER
BEEN A QUITTER, ARNOLD.

BESIDES, WITH SOMEONE YOUR SIZE,

THE LINE WOULD ONLY HAVE TO
OPEN UP A TEENY-WEENY HOLE.

YOU KNOW, I REALLY
LOVE FOOTBALL.

YOU THINK I'D HAVE A CHANCE?

THE ONLY WAY YOU'LL
KNOW IS TO KEEP ON TRYING.

WHAT DO YOU SAY, SON?

OK, DAD.

GIVE ME THAT BALL!

OUT OF MY WAY, YOU GUYS.

HERE COMES CRAZY LEGS JACKSON!

GO, ARNOLD! GIVE IT
THE OL' SNAKE HIPS!

GO, CRAZY LEGS, GO!

GRR!

I'M COMING AFTER
YOU, CRAZY LEGS!

TOUCHDOWN!

HEY, PENALTY ON THE PLAY.

WHAT PENALTY?

ILLEGAL USE OF A FATHER.

ARNOLD, YOU GOT MORE
MOVES THAN A BELLY DANCER.

YOU REALLY ARE GOOD, YOU KNOW.

YOU'RE GONNA MAKE THAT TEAM.

YEP.

I'M TALKING HEART,
I'M TALKING GUTS,

I'M TALKING NO-CUT CONTRACT.

SEE YA!

OK, OK! HEY, HEY!

HEY, QUIET!

LET'S SETTLE DOWN AND LISTEN UP.

FIRST, I WANT TO THANK YOU
KIDS FOR TRYING OUT TODAY.

SECOND, WE DON'T HAVE ROOM
ON THE SQUAD FOR ALL OF YOU,

SO I'M GONNA HAVE
TO MAKE SOME CUTS.

I KNOW... I KNOW THAT'S ROUGH,

BUT THAT'S FOOTBALL.

THAT'S THE WAY THE
COOKIE CRUMBLES.

GUESS WHO FEELS
LIKE A FIG NEWTON.

DON'T WORRY, ARNOLD.
YOU'LL GET PICKED.

OK, ALL THOSE MEN WHO
MADE THE TEAM LAST YEAR,

YOU'RE BACK ON THE SQUAD.

NOW WE START CONTACT
WORK TOMORROW,

SO PICK UP YOUR HELMETS.

WHOO! ALL RIGHT!

NOW, WE ONLY HAVE ROOM
FOR 5 MORE ON THE SQUAD.

AS I CALL YOUR NAMES,

GRAB A HELMET.

MENDOZA.

ALL RIGHT! THERE YOU GO.

RAMSEY.

WHOO! ALL RIGHT!

SPENCER.

DONAHUE.

YEAH! WHOO!

NOW WE GOT ROOM FOR
ONLY ONE MORE ON THE SQUAD,

AND FRANKLY I DID NOT EXPECT

THIS YOUNGSTER TO MAKE THE TEAM.

THIS KID OVERCAME GREAT ODDS,

SHOWED A LOT OF GUTS

AND A LOT OF HEART OUT THERE.

YOU'VE EARNED IT.

HERE'S YOUR HELMET, NEEDLEMAN.

THANKS, COACH.

THE FIRST GIRL TO
MAKE OUR SQUAD.

AS FOR THE REST OF
YOU, WHAT CAN I SAY

EXCEPT TURN IN YOUR EQUIPMENT.

FIRST PRACTICE IS
TOMORROW, GANG.

4:00 SHARP. DISMISSED!

HUT, HUT, HUT, HUT,
HUT, HUT, HUT, HUT.

ALL RIGHT!

GEE, ARNOLD, I'M REALLY SORRY.

HEY, MAYBE YOU'LL
MAKE IT NEXT YEAR.

THAT'S WHAT THEY SAID LAST YEAR.

BUT AT LEAST YOU'RE ON THE TEAM.

WELL, THAT'S ONLY
BECAUSE WITH WOMEN'S LIB

THE COACH WOULDN'T
DARE TURN DOWN A GIRL.

MAYBE NEXT YEAR, I'LL
SHOW UP IN A DRESS.

45, 46, 47,

48, 49...

IS ARNOLD HOME YET?

NOT YET.

GEE, I SURE HOPE
HE MAKES THE TEAM

OR IT'LL BE A REAL BUMMER.

OH, DON'T WORRY.

I'M SURE HE GAVE
IT HIS BEST SHOT.

HE'LL MAKE IT.

45, 46...

ADELAIDE, I'VE
ALREADY DONE 45 AND 46.

I'M TRYING TO BUILD
MY BODY, NOT BURY IT.

HI, EVERYBODY.

Philip: HEY, THERE HE IS!

WHAT HAPPENED, HONEY?

DID YOU DO YOUR VERY BEST?

DID YOU GIVE 'EM ALL YOU'VE GOT?

DID YOU GIVE 'EM
THE OLD SNAKE HIPS?

I GAVE 'EM AN OUTSIDE
HIP, I GAVE 'EM AN INSIDE HIP,

AND THEN I CROSSED
THE GOAL LINE.

AND THEN WHAT HAPPENED?

I GOT CUT FROM THE SQUAD.

CUT?!

YOU SCORED A TOUCHDOWN
AND YOU GOT CUT? WHY?

NOBODY HANDED ME THE BALL.

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE. NOW, LOOK,

LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.

YOU DIDN'T MAKE THE TEAM?

IF YOU DIDN'T MAKE THE TEAM,

HOW COME YOU CAME HOME SO HAPPY?

'CAUSE I DID ALL MY
CRYING ON THE SUBWAY.

OH, YOU POOR KID.

WELL, AT LEAST
YOU TRIED, ARNOLD.

YEAH, BUT WHAT REALLY GETS ME IS

CYNTHIA NEEDLEMAN MADE THE TEAM.

A GIRL BEAT YOU OUT?

YOU KNOW ANY BOYS NAMED CYNTHIA?

SHE MUST BE PRETTY TOUGH.

I'LL SAY.

SHE'S EVEN GOT HAIR ON HER LEGS.

DON'T WORRY, LITTLE BROTHER.

YOU'LL MAKE THE TEAM NEXT YEAR.

NO, I WON'T 'CAUSE THERE
WON'T BE A NEXT YEAR.

I'M DONE TRYING OUT FOR TEAMS.

AND, MILLER, YOU ONLY AVERAGED

1.9 YARDS A CARRY IN
THAT SCRIMMAGE TODAY.

YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO FALL
DOWN FOR MORE YARDS THAN THAT.

AND YOU, YOU'VE
GOT TO DO SOMETHING.

YOU RUN LIKE A GIRL!

I CAN'T HELP IT. I
WAS BORN THAT WAY.

NOW, NEXT SATURDAY'S
OUR FIRST GAME.

I'M GONNA WIN THE
CHAMPIONSHIP THIS YEAR

IF IT KILLS YOU!

PRACTICE AGAIN
TOMORROW, SAME TIME, MEN.

MEN?

I'M SORRY. YOU,
TOO, MS. NEEDLEMAN.

DISMISSED!

HUT, HUT, HUT, HUT, HUT.

ALL RIGHT!

HUT, HUT, HUT, HUT, HUT.

PRETTY INSPIRING
PEP TALK, COACH.

YOU EVEN GOT ME WORKED UP.

WELL, THESE DAYS YOU
GOTTA BE TOUGH TO WIN.

SAY THIS PLAY HERE,

BOY, THAT'S PRETTY SOPHISTICATED

FOR YOUNG KIDS.

YOU A COACH?

NO, NO, NO, JUST AN
INTERESTED FATHER.

I USED TO PLAY. PHILIP DRUMMOND.

STEVE SLATTERY. HI.

AS A MATTER OF FACT,
MY SON TRIED OUT

FOR THE TEAM YESTERDAY.

OH? ARNOLD JACKSON.

JACKSON? JACKSON, JACKSON...

HE WAS CUT.

OH, RIGHT, THE LITTLE GUY.

HE... HE'S YOUR SON?

SURE.

HE'S ADOPTED.

MR. SLATTERY, I WISH
YOU COULD HAVE SEEN

THE LOOK ON HIS FACE
WHEN HE GOT HOME.

HE WAS SO DISAPPOINTED.

DRUMMOND, LIFE'S FULL
OF DISAPPOINTMENTS.

YEAH, BUT THE KID WAS
REALLY HEART BROKEN.

HE CRIED HALF THE NIGHT.

HE'S GOTTA LEARN TO TAKE
THESE THINGS LIKE A MAN.

ISN'T THERE SOME WAY

YOU COULD MAKE A PLACE
FOR HIM ON THE TEAM?

I MEAN, MAYBE HE COULD...

NO WAY.

LOOK, I HAD TO BEG
TO USE THIS FIELD

WHEN THE HIGH SCHOOL
TEAM'S NOT PRACTICING.

I HAD TO BEG TO GET THE
15 BEAT-UP UNIFORMS I HAVE.

AND THE HELMETS ARE SO THIN,

YOU COULD COMB YOUR
HAIR THROUGH THEM.

AND ON TOP OF THAT, YOU KNOW
WHAT I GET PAID FOR DOING THIS?

NADA. ZIP. ZILCH. BUPKISS.

EL ZERO!

WELL, LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE.

AT LEAST IT DOESN'T PUT
YOU IN A HIGHER TAX BRACKET.

NOT FUNNY.

NO, I'M SORRY.

IT MUST BE TOUGH TRYING
TO MANAGE THIS TEAM

ON THE MONEY THEY GIVE YOU.

MONEY, WHAT MONEY? I
BLEW MY WHOLE BUDGET

ON CHALK AND AN ERASER.

I'M SORRY, MR. DRUMMOND,

BUT I'VE ONLY GOT 15 UNIFORMS,

SO I CAN ONLY USE 15 KIDS.

THERE MUST BE
SOMETHING YOU CAN DO.

LOOK, SUPPOSING I BOUGHT
MY KID HIS OWN UNIFORM.

THE OTHER KIDS WILL LOVE THAT.

YOUR KID GETS A
BRAND NEW UNIFORM,

AND THEY LOOK LIKE
THEIRS WERE DONATED

BY THE CITY DUMP.

I MEAN, LOOK!

LOOK AT THESE CRUMMY THINGS!

YEAH, I SEE YOUR POINT.

HEY, LISTEN, LET ME
ASK YOU SOMETHING.

SUPPOSE ALL THE KIDS
HAD NEW UNIFORMS?

ALL OF 'EM?

WHO'S GONNA PAY FOR
IT? THE UNIFORM FAIRY?

WELL, LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY.

SHE COULD USE MY CHECKBOOK.

YOU'D SPRING FOR
15 NEW UNIFORMS?

NO, 16.

AH, 15 REGULARS AND
ONE EXTRA-SHORT, RIGHT?

HA HA HA!

YOU GOT A DEAL, DRUMMOND.

OK, LET'S JUST KEEP
THIS CONVERSATION

BETWEEN YOU AND ME, OK?

WHAT CONVERSATION?

NOW, LOOK, YOU GOTTA
MAKE HIM DELIVER FOR YOU.

I WANT YOU TO MAKE HIM
WORK, NOW DON'T SPOIL HIM.

DON'T WORRY.

YOU KNOW, ORDINARILY I WOULD
NEVER DO ANYTHING LIKE THIS,

BUT THAT KID WANTS TO BE
ON THIS TEAM SO DESPERATELY.

DON'T APOLOGIZE. IT'S
JUST A LITTLE BRIBERY.

IF IT'S GOOD ENOUGH
FOR THE CONGRESSMEN,

IT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU.

THANKS. I FEEL GREAT.

HEY, ARNOLD, DO YOU
WANT TO GO OUTSIDE

AND PLAY SOME FOOTBALL?

NAH.

HOW ABOUT SOME BASEBALL?

NAH.

WELL, WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO?

JUST WHAT I'M DOING NOW.

HANGING AROUND, HAVING FUN.

YOU CAN'T JUST SIT AROUND.
YOU GOTTA DO SOMETHING.

I AM DOING SOMETHING.
I'M ANSWERING THE DOOR.

HI, ARNOLD.

COACH SLATTERY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I CAME TO TALK TO YOU, ARNOLD.

YOU ALREADY TOLD
ME I WAS CUT THIS YEAR.

AM I CUT FOR NEXT YEAR, TOO?

NO, IT'S NOT THAT.

OH, WONDERFUL.

WELL, THIS IS MY
SISTER KIMBERLY.

HI, KIMBERLY. HI.

I THOUGHT I HEARD THE
BELL. OH, WE HAVE A VISITOR.

DAD, THIS IS MR. SLATTERY,

THE COACH OF THE
TEAM I TRIED OUT FOR

WHICH I WAS CUT FROM WHICH
I WANTED TO BE ON WHICH...

THIS IS THE GUY WHO DUMPED ME.

HOW DO YOU DO? PHILIP DRUMMOND.

WHAT CAN WE DO FOR YOU?

WELL, I JUST CAME TO TELL ARNOLD

IF HE STILL WANTS
TO BE ON THE TEAM,

HE'S ON.

WHAT?!

YOU'RE NOT JIVIN', ARE YOU?

YOU'RE NOT PUTTING
ME ON, ARE YOU?

IT'S NOT NICE TO MESS
WITH A LITTLE KID'S EMOTIONS.

I MEAN IT, ARNOLD. I
WANT YOU ON THE TEAM.

HEY, THAT'S TERRIFIC, SON.

I ONLY CUT YOU BECAUSE WE
DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH UNIFORMS,

BUT WE JUST GOT SOME NEW ONES

AND NOW THERE'S
ENOUGH FOR EVERYBODY,

AND THIS IS YOURS.

OH, GET A LOAD OF THAT!

OH, ARNOLD, YOU'RE GONNA LOOK

SO HANDSOME IN YOUR NEW UNIFORM.

ARNOLD, YOU'RE GONNA
LOOK JUST LIKE OJ SIMPSON.

YEAH, BUT DON'T EXPECT ME TO
GO FLYING THROUGH AIRPORTS.

HEY, ARNOLD, THAT'S GREAT
THAT THEY GOT NEW UNIFORMS.

YEAH, THEY WERE DONATED

BY A PUBLIC SPIRITED CITIZEN.

SOUNDS LIKE A WONDERFUL GUY.

ARNOLD, THE REST OF
YOUR UNIFORM'S IN HERE.

SEE YOU AT THE GAME
TOMORROW AT 10:00.

I'LL BE THERE AT
6:00. HUT, HUT, HUT!

WELL, ADELAIDE,

THAT IS ABOUT ALL THERE
IS TO KNOW ABOUT CHESS.

LET ME SEE IF I UNDERSTAND.

THE LITTLE HORSEY CAN MOVE

TWO ONE WAY AND
TWO THE OTHER WAY.

NO, NO, NO, NO,

FIRST PLACE IT'S
NOT A LITTLE HORSEY.

IT'S A KNIGHT.

AND MOVES ONE ONE WAY
AND TWO THE OTHER WAY.

LOOK, I APPRECIATE YOU

TRYING TO TEACH ME,
MR. DRUMMOND BUT

I'M AFRAID I'LL JUST NEVER
LEARN TO PLAY CHESS.

OKAY, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT,

LET'S ARM WRESTLE FOR A NICKEL.

COME ON, ARNOLD.

HEY, ARNOLD, WHAT HAPPENED?

DID YOU GET HURT
IN THE GAME, HONEY?

NOPE. I FELL OFF THE BENCH.

SEE WHAT HAPPENED WAS,
THE REFEREES CALLED IN

THE MEASURING CHAINS
FROM THE SIDELINES

AND ARNOLD GOT
ALL TANGLED UP IN 'EM.

ONE MINUTE HE'S SITTING THERE,

AND THE NEXT MINUTE THEY'RE
DRAGGING HIM ACROSS THE FIELD.

KIMBERLY, I THINK
THEY GOT THE IDEA.

THAT'S OK, KIMBERLY.

NOW DON'T WORRY, ARNOLD.
THOSE THINGS HAPPEN.

WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS,

HOW DID YOU DO ONCE
YOU GOT IN THE GAME?

WHO GOT INTO THE GAME?

YOU MEAN YOU DIDN'T PLAY?

WHY? WHAT WENT WRONG?

HE SPENT THE WHOLE
GAME ON THE BENCH.

WELL, EXCEPT WHEN
THEY WERE DRAGGING HIM

ACROSS THE FIELD.

KIMBERLY, THAT'S ENOUGH.

IT'S SO EMBARRASSING
SITTING ON THE BENCH.

MY FEET DIDN'T EVEN
TOUCH THE GROUND.

THEY JUST DANGLED.

I THOUGHT THE WHOLE IDEA
OF THE PEE-WEE LEAGUE IS

THAT EVERYBODY
GETS A CHANCE TO PLAY?

WELL, WITH OUR COACH,

ONLY IF WE WIN BY A BIG SCORE.

WELL, WHAT WAS TODAY'S SCORE?

35 TO NOTHING.

35 TO NOTHING? YOU CREAMED 'EM!

AFTER THE GAME, THE COACH YELLED

AT EVERYBODY FOR NOT TRYING.

AND DOES THAT COACH GET UPSET.

ONE KID DROPPED A PASS
RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE COACH,

AND THE COACH YELLED
SO LOUD THAT HE CRIED.

THAT'S AWFUL, MAKING
A LITTLE KID CRY.

NOT THE KID, THE COACH.

WELL, DON'T BE
DISCOURAGED, ARNOLD.

I'M SURE YOU'LL GET
IN THE NEXT GAME.

OH, NO WAY. THE COACH
ONLY PLAYS THE BEST GUYS.

AND BESIDES, ALL HE
CARES ABOUT IS WINNING.

WELL, MAYBE HE
WAS JUST, YOU KNOW,

BREAKING YOU IN SLOWLY.

BY THE TIME I'M BROKEN IN,

MY WIFE AND KIDS WILL
BE ABLE TO WATCH ME PLAY

MY VERY FIRST GAME.

GOOD MORNING, COACH.

OH, HI. HOW ARE YOU, DRUMMOND?

HEY, THOSE UNIFORMS
LOOK TERRIFIC, DON'T THEY?

THE KIDS WILL REALLY LOOK
SHARP FOR THAT GAME TODAY.

YEAH, I WANT TO TALK TO
YOU ABOUT ARNOLD'S UNIFORM.

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH IT?

IT'S TOO CLEAN. HUH?

I'D LIKE TO SEE IT GET DIRTY.

IN A GAME.

WELL, I COULDN'T
PUT HIM IN LAST WEEK

'CAUSE THE GAME WAS TOO CLOSE.

RIGHT, 35 TO NOTHING.
THAT'S A REAL CLIFFHANGER.

DRUMMOND, THE WORST
MISTAKE A COACH CAN MAKE IS

TO SIT ON A LEAD.

I THOUGHT THE GAME
WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN

FOR ALL THE PLAYERS.

IT IS, AND FUN IS
WINNING, NOT LOSING.

DID YOU EVER SEE A LOSING
TEAM RUN OFF THE FIELD YELLING,

"HOORAY! WE LOST!"

I'M TRYING TO WIN A
CHAMPIONSHIP HERE.

I DON'T GET THIS. IS
THIS LEAGUE SUPPOSED

TO BE FOR YOU OR THE KIDS?

ALL RIGHT, YOU GUYS! ALL RIGHT!

YOU'RE LOOKING
GOOD OUT THERE, SON.

YOU GOTTA STICK IT TO 'EM TODAY.

TEAR 'ME APART,
EAT 'EM UP ALIVE,

DESTROY 'EM!

NOW GO OUT THERE AND HAVE FUN.

DAD, DID YOU SEE ME
WARMING UP OUT THERE?

I SURE DID, SON.

HEY, YOU REALLY SEEM
TO BE UP FOR THIS GAME.

YEAH, I SURE WISH I COULD
GET BUTT UP OFF THE BENCH.

OK, GUYS, NOW
LISTEN UP. LISTEN UP!

ARE WE GONNA WIN TODAY?

YEAH!

I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

YEAH!

ARE WE GONNA BUST
'EM UP AND BREAK 'EM UP?

YEAH!

LET'S SHOW SOME
TEAM SPIRIT HERE!

TUCK IT UP!

ALL RIGHT! WE'RE
GONNA WIN THIS GAME!

WHOO!

WATCH IT, JACKSON.

OK, KIDS, LISTEN UP. LISTEN UP!

NOW, YOU DID PRETTY
GOOD IN OUR FIRST GAME,

BUT WE GOTTA REALLY
BEAR DOWN NOW.

WE'RE UP AGAINST YONKERS.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, MILLER?

THAT MEANS THEIR
FULLBACK, BRONCO JABLONSKI.

WELL, TODAY WE'RE
GONNA SHUT 'EM OUT.

WHEN BRONCO HAS THE BALL,

I WANT YOU TO DOUBLE-TEAM HIM,

TRIPLE-TEAM HIM,
AND GANG TACKLE HIM.

I WANT YOU TO DESTROY THIS GUY.

I WANT YOU TO HIT HIM HIGH

HIT HIM LOW AND PILE ON HIM.

YAY!

PILE ON HIM!

SMASH HIM!

ANNIHILATE HIM!

BOY, THAT SOUNDS KIND OF ROUGH.

IT SURE DOES.

THEY GOTTA LEARN HOW
TO PLAY HARD SOMETIME.

WELL, THERE'S A DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN PLAYING HARD

AND PLAYING DIRTY.

YEAH, WINNING AND
LOSING. HA HA HA!

OK, KIDS, LISTEN UP. LISTEN UP!

I WANT YOU TO HEAD
HUNT JABLONSKI.

I DON'T WANT TO SEE HIM AROUND

FOR THE SECOND HALF.

YEAH!

OK, I'VE GOT A LINE-UP CHANGE.

JACKSON, TODAY YOU'LL
START IN PLACE OF MILLER.

OH, BOY! DAD, DID YOU HEAR THAT?

HEY, THANKS, COACH.

AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT
THAT JABLONSKI FELLA.

I'LL FOLD HIM UP
AND MAIL HIM HOME.

THAT'S THE SPIRIT, JACKSON!

HA HA HA! OK, TEAM,

I WANT TO SEE YOU
OUT ON THAT FIELD

AND BUMP SOME HELMETS!

YEAH!

WAIT A MINUTE,
ARNOLD. HOLD IT, HOLD IT.

COACH, IS THIS WHAT THE
PEE-WEE LEAGUE IS ALL ABOUT?

ARNOLD, I'M SORRY.
YOU'RE NOT PLAYING TODAY.

WHATCHA TALKIN' ABOUT, DAD?

WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM, DRUMMOND?

FIRST YOU BUG ME
TO LET YOUR KID PLAY,

AND NOW YOU'RE COMPLAINING.

IT ISN'T RIGHT TO SEND
THESE KIDS OUT THERE

WITH INSTRUCTIONS
TO HURT OTHER KIDS.

THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A SPORT.

YEAH, AND IT'S CALLED
FOOTBALL, DRUMMOND.

YEAH, DAD. I WANT TO PLAY.

WELL, YOU'RE NOT GONNA
PLAY UNDER THIS MAN.

HE HAS PUSHING VALUES I
DON'T WANT YOU TO LEARN.

I AM? I MEAN, THAT'S A LAUGH

COMING FROM THE GUY WHO
BOUGHT US NEW UNIFORMS

JUST TO GET HIS KID ON THE TEAM.

DAD, IS THAT TRUE?

WELL, ARNOLD, I...

YES, IT IS. I'M SORRY.

BOY, I WANTED TO
GET ON THE TEAM,

BUT NOT THAT WAY.

MILLER, YOU GO AHEAD AND START.

I'M QUITTING.

LISTEN, ARNOLD,
WHAT I DID WAS WRONG,

BUT IT'S ALSO WRONG TO PLAY
IN THIS MAN'S KIND OF GAME.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M
THE ONLY PARENT HERE

THAT FEELS THIS WAY.

NO, I'M WITH YOU, DRUMMOND.

I SHOULD HAVE SAID
SOMETHING A LONG TIME AGO,

BUT I DIDN'T WANT
TO BE THE ONLY ONE.

OH, I DON'T KNOW.

MAYBE YOU GUYS ARE RIGHT.

I NEVER MADE IT ON
MY COLLEGE TEAM,

SO I GUESS I WAS TRYING

TO MAKE UP FOR IT
THROUGH MY SON.

HEY, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT,

YOU DON'T NEED ME
TO COACH THIS TEAM.

YOU NEED MARY POPPINS.

HERE, GO OUT AND
ROMP AROUND THE FIELD.

HAVE FUN, LOSERS. I'M QUITTING.

WHAT?!

THAT'S NOT FAIR!

COME ON!

WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?

I MIGHT AS WELL GO HOME
AND PLUCK MY EYEBROWS.

WHAT ARE WE GONNA
DO WITHOUT A COACH?

LOOK, I'D LIKE TO HELP KIDS,

BUT I DON'T KNOW
ANYTHING ABOUT FOOTBALL.

ALL I GOT OUT OF COLLEGE
WAS AN EDUCATION.

I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT COACHING.

DAD PLAYED FOOTBALL
WITH JOHNNY YU.

REALLY?!

IS THAT RIGHT, DRUMMOND?

WELL... SO TO SPEAK.

HEY, DAD, LOOK, YOU'LL
MAKE A GREAT COACH.

YOU'RE SMART, YOU'RE ATHLETIC,

AND THERE'S NOBODY ELSE.

ALL RIGHT, KIDS,
I'LL GIVE IT A TRY.

YEAH!

NOW, LOOK,

I PAID FOR 16 UNIFORMS,

AND I WANT TO SEE 16
UNIFORMS GET DIRTY.

YEAH!

NOW A SHOW OF HANDS.

WHO HASN'T BEEN IN
ANY GAMES SO FAR?

1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

OK, YOU FIVE ARE
GONNA START TODAY.

OH, GREAT!

NOW I WANT YOU TO GO
OUT THERE AND HAVE A BALL!

JACKSON?

YES, COACH?

WHAT POSITION DO YOU PLAY?

I DON'T KNOW. I
NEVER PLAYED BEFORE.

DO YOU HAVE A POSITION FOR ME?

I DON'T KNOW. I NEVER
COACHED BEFORE.

BOY, THIS IS GONNA BE SOME GAME.

DON'T ARGUE WITH THE COACH.

LET'S GO. HUT, HUT, HUT!

♪ EVERYBODY'S GOT A
SPECIAL KIND OF STORY ♪

♪ EVERYBODY FINDS
A WAY TO SHINE ♪

♪ IT DON'T MATTER THAT
YOU GOT NOT A LOT ♪

♪ SO WHAT? ♪

♪ THEY'LL HAVE THEIRS
AND YOU'LL HAVE YOURS ♪

♪ AND I'LL HAVE MINE ♪

♪ AND TOGETHER WE'LL BE FINE ♪

♪ 'CAUSE IT TAKES
DIFF'RENT STROKES ♪

♪ TO MOVE THE
WORLD, YES, IT DOES ♪

♪ IT TAKES DIFF'RENT
STROKES TO MOVE THE WORLD ♪

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