Diff'rent Strokes (1978–1986): Season 3, Episode 19 - Room for One More - full transcript

♪ NOW, THE WORLD DON'T MOVE ♪

♪ TO THE BEAT OF JUST ONE DRUM ♪

♪ WHAT MIGHT BE RIGHT FOR YOU ♪

♪ MAY NOT BE RIGHT FOR SOME ♪

♪ A MAN IS BORN ♪

♪ HE'S A MAN OF MEANS ♪

♪ THEN ALONG COME TWO ♪

♪ THEY GOT NOTHIN'
BUT THEIR JEANS ♪

♪ BUT THEY GOT
DIFF'RENT STROKES ♪

♪ IT TAKES DIFF'RENT STROKES ♪

♪ IT TAKES DIFF'RENT
STROKES TO MOVE THE WORLD ♪



♪ EVERYBODY'S GOT A
SPECIAL KIND OF STORY ♪

♪ EVERYBODY FINDS
A WAY TO SHINE ♪

♪ IT DON'T MATTER THAT YOU GOT ♪

♪ NOT A LOT... SO WHAT? ♪

♪ THEY'LL HAVE THEIRS ♪

♪ AND YOU'LL HAVE YOURS ♪

♪ AND I'LL HAVE MINE ♪

♪ AND TOGETHER WE'LL BE FINE ♪

♪ 'CAUSE IT TAKES
DIFF'RENT STROKES ♪

♪ TO MOVE THE
WORLD, YES, IT DOES ♪

♪ IT TAKES DIFF'RENT
STROKES TO MOVE THE WORLD ♪

MAN, THESE SCHOOL
COMPOSITIONS ARE REALLY TOUGH.

HEY, ARNOLD, HOW
ABOUT ABRAHAM LINCOLN

FOR YOUR FAVORITE
AMERICAN? HE'S FAMOUS.



NAH. EVERYBODY KNOWS
HE'S A FAMOUS AMERICAN.

I WANT TO WRITE ABOUT A
REALLY FAMOUS AMERICAN

THAT NOBODY'S EVER HEARD OF.

SAY, HOW ABOUT ULYSSES S. GRANT?

HE WAS A CIGAR
SMOKER AND A BOOZER,

BUT HE WAS A GREAT DANCER.

WHERE'D YOU READ THAT?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN READ?

I WAS HIS DATE FOR
THE INAUGURAL BALL.

ARNOLD, WHY AMERICAN MEN?

WHY DON'T YOU WRITE ABOUT
A GREAT AMERICAN WOMAN?

WOMAN?

SURE. LIKE SUSAN B.
ANTHONY OR AMELIA EARHART?

WHO WERE THEY?

I SHOULD'VE GUESSED.

THE ONLY AMERICAN
WOMEN YOU'D RECOGNIZE

ARE SARA LEE AND BETTY CROCKER.

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE!

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH ME?

THE GREATEST AMERICAN I KNOW
IS LIVING RIGHT HERE IN THIS HOUSE.

OH, COME ON, ARNOLD.
I'M NOT THAT GREAT.

I'M TALKING ABOUT DAD.

THAT'S A TERRIFIC IDEA, ARNOLD.

HE'S AMERICAN, AND HE'S GREAT.

YEAH, BUT DON'T THEY
WANT SOMEONE HISTORICAL?

DAD'S HISTORICAL. HE'S OVER 50.

I GUESS THAT MAKES
ME PRE-HISTORICAL.

THE ONLY THING IS, I DON'T
KNOW THAT MUCH ABOUT DAD.

WELL, GO TALK TO HIM.

I'M SURE HE'LL TELL YOU
EVERYTHING YOU WANT TO KNOW.

YEAH, BUT I BETTER NOT
SAY WHAT I'M DOING IT FOR.

WHY NOT, ARNOLD? DADDY
WOULD BE FLATTERED.

I BETTER WAIT AND SEE WHAT
KIND OF GRADE I GET FIRST.

HE WON'T BE SO FLATTERED
IF HIS LIFE GETS AN "F."

HI, DAD.

HI, ARNOLD.

DAD, I'VE BEEN
THINKING ABOUT YOU.

WELL, IT'S NICE TO BE THOUGHT OF
BY A CLOSE MEMBER OF THE FAMILY.

YEP. I THINK ABOUT
YOU ALL THE TIME.

OF COURSE, I'D THINK ABOUT YOU
EVEN MORE THAN I DO THINK ABOUT YOU

IF I KNEW MORE ABOUT
YOU TO THINK ABOUT.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT?

I THINK YOU BETTER
RUN THAT BY ME AGAIN.

WELL, SEE, YOU KNOW ALL ABOUT ME

AND I'D JUST LIKE TO
KNOW MORE ABOUT YOU,

LIKE SOME OF THE BIG THINGS
THAT HAVE HAPPENED IN YOUR LIFE.

BIG THINGS, HUH?

YEAH. LIKE, DID YOU EVER
CHOP DOWN A CHERRY TREE?

ARNOLD, I CANNOT
TELL A LIE. I NEVER DID.

BUT I'VE TRIMMED A
FEW HEDGES IN MY TIME.

UH... YOU DIDN'T HAPPEN TO BE
BORN IN A LOG CABIN, DID YOU?

NO, BUT WE MOVED INTO ONE
AS SOON AS WE COULD AFFORD IT.

DAD, HAVEN'T YOU DONE ANYTHING
REALLY GREAT IN YOUR LIFE?

LIKE, CROSS THE ATLANTIC
TO DISCOVER AMERICA?

ARE YOU KIDDING? AND SAIL
RIGHT OFF THE EDGE OF THE WORLD?

COME ON, DAD. I'M SERIOUS.

NO, ARNOLD, I'M AFRAID I HAVEN'T
DONE ANYTHING THAT IMPORTANT.

I DID WIN A MEDAL ONCE.

A MEDAL?! NOW WE'RE TALKING.

WHAT WAS THE MEDAL FOR?

FOR HAVING THE NEATEST BUNK

AT CAMP WICHIMACLACHEY.

THAT'S IT? THAT'S THE
BIGGIE IN YOUR LIFE?

A NEAT BUNK?!

HOP RIGHT UP HERE, ARNOLD.

I'LL TELL YOU THE
WHOLE DRUMMOND STORY.

"AND MY DAD'S GIVEN ME A..."

HEY, DUDLEY, AREN'T
YOU LISTENING?

OH, SURE. GO ON, ARNOLD.

"AND MY DAD'S GIVEN
ME A REALLY GREAT LIFE.

"WE HAVE A LIMOUSINE
THAT'S SO BIG

"WHEN YOU WANT TO PHONE THE
CHAUFFEUR FROM THE BACK SEAT,

IT'S A LONG-DISTANCE CALL."

MAN, YOUR FATHER
REALLY IS TERRIFIC.

THAT'S WHY HE'S MY
FAVORITE AMERICAN.

WHO DID YOU WRITE
YOUR COMPOSITION ON?

SUPERMAN.

SUPERMAN? HE CAN'T
BE A FAMOUS AMERICAN.

HE'S AN ILLEGAL ALIEN.

WELL, ANYWAY, I
GOT A NICE DAD, TOO.

ONLY HE'S NOT MY REAL
DAD. HE'S MY FOSTER FATHER.

MY DAD'S NOT MY
REAL DAD, EITHER.

HE'S ADOPTED.

THAT'S ALMOST THE SAME THING.

NO, IT'S NOT. ADOPTED
MEANS YOU GET TO STAY.

BUT FOSTER PARENTS, YOU
CAN JUST BE PASSING THROUGH.

THAT ALREADY HAPPENED
TO ME A COUPLE OF TIMES.

HOW COME?

WELL, THE FIRST TIME
THE GUY WAS REALLY MEAN.

AND THE NEXT TIME, THE MAN
AND WOMAN GOT DIVORCED.

I'M SURE GLAD YOU
GOT A GOOD HOME NOW.

SO AM I. I'D LIKE TO
STAY THERE FOREVER.

MY FOSTER FATHER'S BEEN
OUT OF WORK FOR A WHILE.

IF HE DOESN'T GET A JOB,

THEN THEY'LL PROBABLY SEND ME
BACK TO ANOTHER FOSTER HOME.

IS THAT HOW IT WORKS?

I THINK SO.

BOY, I SURE HOPE
THIS ONE WORKS OUT.

OH, I GOT TO GO.
THERE'S MY LIMO.

THAT BIG BLACK LIMO'S YOURS?

SO'S THE BIG WHITE CHAUFFEUR.

MAN, I AIN'T THINK PEOPLE RODE IN
THOSE WHILE THEY'RE STILL ALIVE.

YOU CAN RIDE IN
IT ANYTIME, DUDLEY.

WANT A LIFT HOME?

NO, THANKS. NOW THAT
MY DAD'S NOT WORKING,

HE COMES BY AND WE
WALK HOME TOGETHER.

OKAY. AND CHEER UP, DUDLEY.

I'M SURE YOUR DADDY
GET A JOB SOON.

WHAT IF HE DOESN'T?

Y-YOU COULD GET
ON A TV GAME SHOW

AND WIN $100,000.

NOT WITH MY LUCK.

WELL, EVEN IF YOU LOSE, YOU
GET A SET OF MATCHING LUGGAGE.

GREAT. I CAN GO TO THE
NEXT FOSTER HOME IN STYLE.

HEY, ARNOLD, YOUR
LIMO'S WAITING.

AW, LIMOS AREN'T SO HOT.

I ONLY RIDE IN IT TO
SAVE SHOE LEATHER.

I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW, DUDLEY.

SEE YA.

HI, SON.

HI, DAD. ANY LUCK FINDING A JOB?

NO, BUT I GOT A LEAD ON ONE.

I'LL KNOW IN A COUPLE OF HOURS.
YOU CAN'T KEEP A GOOD MAN DOWN.

YOU THINK WE'LL EVER LIVE IN A
PENTHOUSE AND HAVE A LIMOUSINE?

OF COURSE, AS SOON AS THEY
MAKE ME PRESIDENT OF ZIMBABWE.

ANYONE WANT SECONDS ON DESSERT?

EXCEPT FOR ARNOLD,
WHO'S UP TO FOURTHS?

NO, THANK YOU, ADELAIDE.
THANK YOU, ADELAIDE.

CONGRATULATIONS, ADELAIDE,

ON ANOTHER CULINARY
TOUR DE FORCE.

RIGHT. AND THE FOOD
WASN'T BAD EITHER.

HEY, KIMBERLY, WHAT'S ALL
THAT FANCY TOUR DE FORCE JAZZ?

IT'S FRENCH, MY
PETITE CHOU-FLEUR.

DAD, YOU GOING TO LET HER USE
THAT KIND OF LANGUAGE IN THIS HOUSE?

ARNOLD, THAT'S A KIND OF A
TERM OF ENDEARMENT IN FRENCH.

RIGHT. LITERALLY, I WAS CALLING
WILLIS MY LITTLE CAULIFLOWER.

YOUR LITTLE
CAULIFLOWER THANKS YOU...

MY LITTLE CABBAGE HEAD.

WOULD ONE OF YOU
VEGETABLES PLEASE GET LE DOOR?

I'LL GET IT.

MERCI.

HI, ARNOLD.

DUDLEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I'M RUNNING AWAY FROM HOME.

I JUST CAME TO SAY GOOD-BYE.

RUNNING AWAY?

YEAH, I GOT TO TALK TO YOU.

ARE YOU IN SOME KIND OF TROUBLE?

NO. MY DAD STILL
DIDN'T FIND A JOB TODAY,

SO I'M GETTING OUT
BEFORE THE SOCIAL WORKER

COMES AND SENDS ME OFF
TO ANOTHER FOSTER HOME.

BUT YOUR FOLKS LOVE YOU.

I'M SURE THEY'LL
WORRY ABOUT YOU.

BUT I GOT A PLAN.

I'LL HIDE OUT TILL
MY DAD GETS A JOB,

THEN I'LL COME BACK.

HOW ARE YOU GOING TO
KNOW IF HE GETS A JOB?

'CAUSE YOU'LL TELL ME.
YOU'LL BE MY SECRET CONTACT.

THAT'S JUST LIKE IN WATERGATE.

I'LL BE DEEP ARNOLD?

YEAH.

BOY, SOMETHING SURE SMELLS GOOD.

I'LL BET YOU HAD
ROAST BEEF FOR DINNER.

YEAH. HOW'D YOU KNOW?

I CAN SMELL IT ON YOUR BREATH.

DO YOU WANT ME TO
BREATHE ON YOU A LITTLE?

WOULD YOU? WHAT ARE FRIENDS FOR?

YOU MEAN TO TELL ME, YOU
HAVEN'T EATEN DINNER YET TONIGHT?

NO. I RAN AWAY BEFORE DINNER.

ARE YOU CRAZY?

NOBODY RUNS AWAY BEFORE DINNER.

COME ON IN. I'LL
GET YOU SOME FOOD.

BUT IF YOUR DAD SEES
ME, HE'LL CALL MY DAD.

THEN I'LL BE RIGHT BACK
WHERE I STARTED FROM.

WAIT A MINUTE. TELL YOU WHAT,

YOU GO UPSTAIRS
AND GET IN MY CLOSET,

AND I'LL SNEAK SOME
FOOD UP TO YOU.

YOU MEAN LIKE SOME ROAST BEEF

AND ANY DESSERT THAT
HAPPEN TO COME WITH IT?

THAT'S RIGHT.

THANKS, ARNOLD.
YOU'RE A REAL FRIEND.

Mr. Drummond: ARNOLD!

WAIT HERE.

ARNOLD, WHAT'S
TAKING YOU SO LONG?

WHO WAS THAT?

OH, THAT WAS JUST THE AVON LADY.

SHE WOULDN'T STOP TALKING.

SHE, UH... TRIED TO SELL
ME SOME BUBBLE BATH.

OH, WELL, YOU SHOULD
HAVE SAID VERY POLITELY,

WE'RE HAVING DINNER, SO, PLEASE,
TAKE YOUR BUBBLES AND BLOW.

THAT'S FUNNY, DAD. HA HA HA HA!

UP THE STAIRS, FIRST
ROOM ON YOUR LEFT.

MAN, THAT WAS CLOSE.

WHAT'D YOU TELL HIM?

NEVER MIND, BUT IF HE SEES YOU,
JUST TELL HIM YOU'RE THE AVON LADY.

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DUDLEY, WHERE ARE YOU?

I'm here.

HERE. YOU MUST BE STARVED.

YEAH, BUT DID YOU COME TO FEED
ME OR GIVE ME YOUR LAUNDRY?

I NEEDED SOMETHING TO
STASH ALL THE FOOD IN.

THERE YOU GO. WHAT A SPREAD!

I GOT YOU SOME ROAST BEEF,

A BAG OF MASHED POTATOES...

THIS CUPCAKE...

AND THERE'S A LOT OF
OTHER FOOD IN HERE.

HEY, DUDLEY, YOU'RE
MY KIND OF EATER.

DESSERT FIRST.

LISTEN, WHERE ARE YOU
GOING TO SLEEP TONIGHT?

OH, I'LL JUST WANDER AROUND

LOOKING FOR A PARK
BENCH OR A CLEAN GUTTER.

YOU'RE NOT SLEEPING
IN ANY GUTTER.

I'LL HIDE YOU HERE TONIGHT,

BUT WHAT ARE YOU
GOING TO DO TOMORROW?

I DON'T KNOW.

BOY, WHAT A PROBLEM.

I SURE HOPE YOU
GET LUCKY SOMEDAY

AND GET SOMEBODY TO
LEGALLY ADOPT YOU LIKE I DID.

THEN YOU CAN STOP RUNNING.

YEAH.

HEY, ARNOLD, THAT'S
A TERRIFIC IDEA.

WHAT IS?

TO GET YOUR DAD TO ADOPT ME.

WHAT YOU TALKIN' ABOUT, DUDLEY?

I DON'T MEAN FOREVER.

IF AN IMPORTANT PERSON
LIKE YOUR DAD ADOPTS ME,

THE SOCIAL WORKERS
WILL LEAVE ME ALONE.

THEY WILL?

YEAH. THEN WHEN MY DAD

GETS HIS JOB AND
SAVES SOME MONEY,

I'LL MOVE BACK IN WITH HIM.
WOULDN'T THAT BE TERRIFIC?

YEAH, BUT WAIT A MINUTE, DUDLEY.

WHAT IF I ASK MY
DAD AND HE SAYS NO?

BUT YOU WROTE IN YOUR
COMPOSITION LETTER

HE WAS A GREAT
GUY WITH A BIG HEART.

WELL, YEAH, BUT THAT...

OH, I GET IT.

THAT WAS JUST A CROCK, HUH?

NO, IT WASN'T.

YES, IT WAS, BECAUSE
IF HE'S SO GREAT,

WHY YOU AFRAID TO ASK HIM?

I'M NOT AFRAID. YES, YOU ARE.

NO, I'M NOT, AND I'LL
TELL YOU SOMETHING,

IF I ASK HIM TO
ADOPT YOU, HE WILL.

SO, TERRIFIC.

NOW I'M GOING TO
BE YOUR BROTHER,

CAN I USE YOUR BATHROOM?

YEAH, I-IT'S OVER THERE.

THANKS, ARNOLD. YOU'RE
REALLY MY BEST FRIEND.

AND YOU'RE MINE, TOO.

IT'S RIGHT THROUGH THAT DOOR.

DID YOU HEAR WHAT
I JUST DID, ABRAHAM?

I'M TRYIN' TO ASK MY DAD
TO ADOPT ANOTHER KID!

BOY! I SURE HOPE ONE DAY,

MY BODY'LL GET TO
BE AS BIG AS MY MOUTH.

ME AND MY BIG MOUTH, ABRAHAM.

LET'S SEE. HOW AM I GOING
TO ASK MY DAD ABOUT DUDLEY?

WELCOME HOME FROM WORK, DAD.

HERE'S YOUR PAPER,
HERE'S YOUR SLIPPERS,

HERE'S ANOTHER KID TO ADOPT.

I'M READY TO SEE YOUR DAD.

I WASHED MY HANDS AND FACE,

AND I EVEN GARGLED WITH SOME
OF THAT AWFUL GREEN MOUTHWASH.

GREEN? THAT'S NOT MOUTHWASH.

THAT'S WILLIS'
AFTERSHAVE LOTION.

YUCK. SINCE WHEN
DID HE START SHAVING?

SINCE THOSE 2 HAIRS
GREW ON HIS CHIN.

WELL, YOU CAN TELL ME WHAT
EVERYTHING IS AFTER I MOVE IN.

YEAH. LISTEN, UH...

DUDLEY, I JUST THOUGHT
OF A LITTLE PROBLEM.

IF I ASK MY DAD TO ADOPT YOU,

HE'LL CALL YOUR DAD.

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

HEY, NOT IF YOU TELL YOUR DAD
THAT MY FOSTER FATHER BEATS ME.

HE DOESN'T BEAT YOU.

YEAH, BUT NOBODY KNOWS THAT.

THAT'S TRUE.

ONLY YOU AND ME AND YOUR BUTT.

SO TELL YOUR DAD THAT
MY FOSTER FATHER BEATS ME.

ALL RIGHT.

I'LL EVEN THROW IN
THAT HE'S A BOOZER, TOO.

RIGHT! TELL HIM I NEVER KNOW
WHO HE'S GOING TO HIT FIRST...

ME OR THE BOTTLE.

HI, WILLIS.

HEY, GET YOUR SWEATER.

DAD'S TAKING US TO THE MOVIES.

NAW. I THINK I'LL
JUST HANG OUT HERE.

SAY WHAT?

YOU MEAN YOU DON'T
WANT TO GO TO THE MOVIES?

MAN, THAT'S LIKE CHRYSLER
TURNING DOWN A LOAN.

UH... WILLIS, THE
MOVIE'S THAT WAY.

YEAH, BUT MY GRAY
SWEATER'S THIS WAY.

DON'T DO IT, WILLIS! WHY NOT?

BECAUSE THAT GRAY SWEATER
LOOKS JUST TERRIBLE ON YOU.

YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD-LOOKING DUDE,

IT'LL SPOIL YOUR COOL IMAGE.

HEY, YEAH, LITTLE BROTHER.

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE RIGHT.

I MEAN, I GOT TO BE
FAIR TO MY PUBLIC.

GUESS I'LL WEAR THE BLUE ONE.

I MEAN, IT FITS TIGHT AND
GIVES ME THAT LONG, SLIM LOOK.

LIKE A PIPE CLEANER.

I'LL GET YOUR BLUE
SWEATER FOR YOU.

THE BLUE ONE!

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED
TO DO WITH THIS?

BLOW MY NOSE?

WHOOPS. HA HA. MUST BE MY EYES.

ADELAIDE MUST BE SLIPPING
ME SOME WEAK CARROTS.

THE BLUE SWEATER
I MEANT TO GET YOU

IS HANGING ON THE FIRST HOOK!

GO GET 'EM, HOT LIPS.

DAD, ARNOLD DOESN'T
WANT TO GO TO THE MOVIES.

OH, SURE, AND THE POPE
DOESN'T WANT TO GO TO MASS.

YOU GUYS GO AHEAD.

I'LL JUST HIT THE SACK.

WHAT? RIGHT AFTER DINNER?

SURE. THAT WAY I'LL BE
RESTED UP FOR BREAKFAST.

ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE
FEELING ALL RIGHT?

I'M FINE.

Dudley: AH-CHOO!

AH-CHOO!

EXCEPT FOR A LITTLE COLD?

Dudley: AH-CHOO!

THAT'S AN INTERESTING
SNEEZE YOU GOT THERE.

IT HAS AN ECHO.

IT MUST BE THAT NEW
ONE THAT'S GOING AROUND.

THE HONG KONG SNEEZE.

I GUESS I CAUGHT IT.

YOU MUST HAVE
CAUGHT A CRASH, TOO.

EXCUSE ME, ARNOLD.

HI. AVON CALLING.

DAD, YOU KNOW MY
FRIEND DUDLEY JOHNSON.

OH, SURE. DUDLEY WAS
AT THE BIRTHDAY PARTY.

HE WAS ALSO ON THE PEEWEE
FOOTBALL TEAM, RIGHT?

YEAH!

WE BOTH PLAYED THE
SAME POSITION: BENCH.

HEY, DUDLEY, WHAT WERE
YOU DOING IN THE CLOSET?

HAVING DINNER.

LITTLE BROTHER, HOW COME YOUR
DINNER SMELLS LIKE MY AFTERSHAVE LOTION?

ARNOLD, WHAT IS GOING ON?

DAD, LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY.

CONGRATULATIONS! YOU'RE
ABOUT TO BECOME THE FATHER...

OF A BOUNCING BOY WHO'S
ALREADY HOUSE-BROKEN.

ARNOLD, I'M SURE
DUDLEY'S A FINE BOY,

BUT ADOPTION ISN'T THE KIND
OF THING YOU DECIDE TO DO

ON THE SPUR OF THE MOMENT.

I'M NOT TRYING TO
PRESSURE YOU, DAD.

GOOD. WHAT'S THE ANSWER?

ARNOLD, DUDLEY
ALREADY HAS PARENTS.

BUT HIS FOSTER FATHER
IS A TERRIBLE GUY.

HE BEATS HIM!

HE BEATS HIM?

OH, THAT'S HORRIBLE.

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE, ARNOLD.

IF DUDLEY'S FATHER IS SO BAD,

HOW COME EVERY TIME I
PICK YOU UP AT SCHOOL,

DUDLEY'S FATHER IS
THERE PICKING HIM UP?

I... GUESS HE JUST
WANTS TO MAKE SURE

DUDLEY GETS HOME IN
TIME FOR HIS BEATING.

A MAN LIKE THAT SHOULD
BE THROWN IN JAIL.

DAD, IF YOU ADOPT DUDLEY,

HE WON'T BE ANY TROUBLE.

INSTEAD OF A DOUBLE BUNK,
WE'LL HAVE A TRIPLE BUNK.

SURE. I CAN KEEP ADOPTING KIDS
TILL THE BUNKS HIT THE CEILING.

NO, LOOK, GANG,

OF COURSE WE CAN DO
IT. WE HAVE ENOUGH ROOM,

BUT ADOPTING A CHILD IS
A VERY BIG COMMITMENT.

I GUESS SO.

AND WHEN YOU ADOPTED US,

YOU PROBABLY DIDN'T REALIZE
WHAT YOU WERE COMMITTING.

OF COURSE HE DID, ARNOLD.

YOU KNOW, YOUR MOTHER
WORKED FOR DADDY FOR A LONG TIME.

THAT'S RIGHT, AND I
WAS VERY FOND OF HER.

SO WHEN SHE ASKED
ME TO TAKE CARE OF YOU,

I PROMISED THAT I WOULD.

NOW, I HADN'T EXACTLY
PLANNED ANYTHING LIKE THAT,

BUT THEN EVENTUALLY I GOT TO
KNOW YOU AND I GOT TO LOVE YOU,

AND THAT'S WHEN I
DECIDED TO ADOPT YOU.

BOY, IT'S LUCKY WE'RE LOVEABLE.

YEAH. AND ANOTHER
THING, I'M NOT AT ALL SURE

THAT A LARGER FAMILY'S WHAT
I WANT AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE.

BUT DAD, I PROMISED
DUDLEY THAT YOU'D ADOPT HIM.

HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT?

I JUST OPENED MY
MOUTH, AND OUT IT CAME.

MOVE OVER, ARNOLD.

THERE'S A NEW EATING CHAMP.

I DON'T KNOW HOW HE DID IT,

BUT HE GOT 80 POUNDS OF
FOOD INTO A 40-POUND STOMACH.

WELL, I'LL BE IN WHAT'S
LEFT OF THE KITCHEN.

MR. DRUMMOND, IF YOU ADOPT ME,

I WON'T ALWAYS EAT THIS MUCH.

DON'T YOU WORRY
ABOUT THAT, DUDLEY.

NOW, LISTEN, ARNOLD
HAS BEEN TELLING ME

ABOUT YOUR FOSTER FATHER.

CHILD BEATING IS A
VERY SERIOUS MATTER.

IT SURE IS.

THE FIRST THING
WE'RE GOING TO DO

IS WE'RE GOING TO REPORT THAT
FOSTER FATHER OF YOURS TO THE POLICE.

WHAT?

OH, PLEASE, DON'T CALL
THE POLICE, MR. DRUMMOND.

I MEAN, MY FATHER'S LIABLE TO GO
OVER THE WALL AND BEAT ME UP WORSE.

Y-YEAH, DAD.

DON'T CALL THE POLICE.

IT'LL JUST UPSET HIS FATHER.

UP UNTIL NOW WHEN
HE BEAT UP DUDLEY,

HE WAS IN A GOOD MOOD.

DON'T YOU WORRY.

HE'S NOT GOING TO
BEAT YOU ANYMORE.

BOY, APPEARANCES
ARE VERY DECEIVING.

I MET YOUR FATHER. HE SEEMED
LIKE A PLEASANT, HAPPY MAN.

WHY SHOULDN'T HE BE HAPPY?

HE'S DOING WHAT HE
LOVES, BEATING UP PEOPLE.

HOLD IT, KIDS. I'LL GET THAT.

THANKS.

EVENING, DRUMMOND. DAD!

NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

RAMSEY, I AM JUST ABOUT
TO REPORT YOU TO THE POLICE.

JUST FOR RINGING YOUR BELL?

I'D LIKE TO RING YOUR BELL.

DUDLEY HERE HAS JUST
TOLD US THE WHOLE STORY.

STORY? WHAT STORY?

DUDLEY, I'VE BEEN
LOOKING ALL OVER FOR YOU.

DON'T YOU COME NEAR HIM.

DUDLEY, WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

YOU KNOW YOUR MOTHER
AND I HAVE BEEN WORRIED SICK?

I'VE EVEN BEEN TO THE POLICE.

I GUESS THEY DIDN'T KNOW THEY HAD
JACK THE RIPPER UNDER THEIR NOSE.

RAMSEY, HOW DID YOU HAPPEN
TO KNOW THAT DUDLEY WAS HERE?

WELL, I KNOW THAT
ARNOLD'S HIS BEST FRIEND,

SO I TOOK A CHANCE
AND CAME OVER.

COME HERE, SON.

DUDLEY, WHY DID YOU RUN AWAY?

NOW, DUDLEY, ARE YOU
SURE YOU TOLD US THE TRUTH,

THAT YOU RAN AWAY BECAUSE
YOUR FATHER BEAT YOU?

BEAT YOU? SON, I'VE
NEVER LAID A HAND ON YOU,

EXCEPT TO HUG YOU.

WHY WOULD YOU MAKE
UP A LIE LIKE THAT?

I'M SORRY, DAD.

I LOVE YOU AND MOM,

BUT YOU DON'T HAVE A JOB,

AND IF YOU CAN'T AFFORD ME, THEY'LL
SEND ME TO ANOTHER FOSTER HOME.

NO, SON. THAT'S NOT
THE WAY IT WORKS.

AND NOBODY'S EVER GOING TO TAKE
YOU AWAY FROM YOUR MOTHER AND ME.

IN FACT, AS SOON AS I CAN,

I'M GOING TO LEGALLY ADOPT YOU.

YEAH? REALLY?

REALLY!

OH, THAT'S GREAT, DAD.

LOOK...

I'M SORRY ABOUT
ALL THIS, DRUMMOND.

SO AM I. BY THE WAY, WHAT
KIND OF WORK DO YOU DO?

I'M A SALESMAN.

WHY DON'T YOU GIVE ME A
CALL SOMETIME TOMORROW?

WE JUST MIGHT HAVE
SOMETHING WOULD INTEREST YOU.

THANKS. THAT'S A LOT BETTER
THAN YOU RINGING MY BELL.

YEAH.

THAT WAS TERRIBLE.

HEY, ARNOLD, THANKS
FOR HELPING ME OUT.

THAT'S OK. YOU CAN HIDE
IN MY CLOSET ANYTIME.

AND IF YOU'RE EVER HUNGRY, COME
OVER HERE AND I'LL BREATHE ON YOU.

BOY, MR. DRUMMOND,
ARNOLD WAS RIGHT

WHAT HE WROTE
IN HIS COMPOSITION.

YOU REALLY ARE A TERRIFIC GUY,

JUST LIKE MY DAD.

THANK YOU, DUDLEY.

LET'S GO HOME, SON.

Arnold: I'LL SEE YOU
TOMORROW, DUDLEY.

BYE-BYE. WE'LL BE IN TOUCH.

OK. BYE, DUDLEY.

NOW... WHAT'S THIS
ABOUT A COMPOSITION?

OH, IT'S SOMETHING ARNOLD HAD TO WRITE
FOR HIS SCHOOL ABOUT HIS FAVORITE AMERICAN.

YEAH, AND HE CHOSE YOU, DAD,
OVER BETTY CROCKER AND SARA LEE.

REALLY? AND HE'S NEVER EVEN
TASTED MY FUDGE BROWNIES.

ARNOLD, I'M VERY TOUCHED
THAT YOU CHOSE ME.

I'D LIKE TO HEAR
YOUR COMPOSITION.

WELL, I WANTED TO WAIT TILL I GOT
A GOOD GRADE ON IT FIRST, BUT OK.

"MY FAVORITE AMERICAN IS
MY DAD PHILIP DRUMMOND.

"HE'S A REALLY SMART GUY.

"HE WENT TO COLLEGE,

AND HE DOESN'T SAY A LOT OF
DUMB THINGS LIKE MOST GROWN-UPS."

THAT OUGHT TO WIN YOUR
TEACHER OVER IN A HURRY.

"MY DAD'S VERY KIND AND HE
NEVER PUNISHES US FOR BEING BAD,

UNLESS WE GET CAUGHT."

"HE'S ALSO VERY GENEROUS,
AND BECAUSE OF INFLATION,

"I'M SURE HE'S GOING TO GIVE ME

AND MY BROTHER AND
SISTER A RAISE IN ALLOWANCE."

I'LL PRETEND I DIDN'T
HEAR THAT PART.

I HEARD THAT.

SO DID I.

"MY DAD IS THE GREATEST,
COOLEST, NEATEST,

"MOST THOUGHTFUL, UNDERSTANDING
GUY IN THE WHOLE WORLD.

MY DAD IS ALSO..."

ARNOLD, HOW LONG
IS THIS COMPOSITION?

A COUPLE MORE PAGES.

WELL, LISTEN, WHY
DON'T WE ALL SIT DOWN?

YEAH, THAT SOUNDS GREAT.

WE'LL ENJOY IT.

WHERE WAS I? OH,
RIGHT HERE, RIGHT HERE.

"MY DAD..."

NO, START FROM
THE PART THAT GOES...

"MY DAD IS THE GREATEST,
COOLEST, NEATEST...

MOST UNDERSTANDING GUY IN THE
WHOLE WORLD" OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

OH, DADDY, YOU MEAN
EXACTLY LIKE THAT.

"MY DAD IS THE
GREATEST, COOLEST,

"NEATEST, MOST THOUGHTFUL,

UNDERSTANDING GUY
IN THE WHOLE WORLD.

♪ NOW, THE WORLD DON'T MOVE ♪

♪ TO THE BEAT OF JUST ONE DRUM ♪

♪ WHAT MIGHT BE RIGHT FOR YOU ♪

♪ MAY NOT BE RIGHT FOR SOME ♪

♪ A MAN IS BORN,
HE'S A MAN OF MEANS ♪

♪ THEN ALONG COME TWO ♪

♪ THEY GOT NOTHIN'
BUT THEIR JEANS ♪

♪ BUT THEY GOT
DIFF'RENT STROKES ♪

♪ IT TAKES DIFF'RENT STROKES ♪

♪ IT TAKES DIFF'RENT STROKES ♪

♪ TO MOVE THE
WORLD, YES, IT DOES ♪

♪ IT TAKES DIFF'RENT STROKES
TO MOVE THE WORLD, MMM ♪