Diff'rent Strokes (1978–1986): Season 3, Episode 13 - The Older Man - full transcript

Tired of looking like a 15 year old, Kimberly turns to Blair for help in looking like an older woman. She meets with immediate success when she accepts a date from a 25-year-old man (who thinks she's at least 20). Arnold and Willis find out about the date and sneak off to the movie theater to try to stop the date before Drummond finds out.

♪ NOW, THE WORLD DON'T MOVE ♪

♪ TO THE BEAT OF JUST ONE DRUM ♪

♪ WHAT MIGHT BE RIGHT FOR YOU ♪

♪ MAY NOT BE RIGHT FOR SOME ♪

♪ A MAN IS BORN ♪

♪ HE'S A MAN OF MEANS ♪

♪ THEN ALONG COME TWO ♪

♪ THEY GOT NOTHIN'
BUT THEIR JEANS ♪

♪ BUT THEY GOT
DIFF'RENT STROKES ♪

♪ IT TAKES DIFF'RENT STROKES ♪

♪ IT TAKES DIFF'RENT STROKES ♪



♪ TO MOVE THE WORLD ♪

♪ EVERYBODY'S GOT ♪

♪ A SPECIAL KIND OF STORY ♪

♪ EVERYBODY FINDS
A WAY TO SHINE ♪

♪ IT DON'T MATTER THAT YOU GOT ♪

♪ NOT A LOT... SO WHAT? ♪

♪ THEY'LL HAVE THEIRS ♪

♪ AND YOU'LL HAVE YOURS ♪

♪ AND I'LL HAVE MINE ♪

♪ AND TOGETHER WE'LL BE FINE ♪

♪ 'CAUSE IT TAKES
DIFF'RENT STROKES ♪

♪ TO MOVE THE
WORLD, YES, IT DOES ♪

♪ IT TAKES DIFF'RENT
STROKES TO MOVE THE WORLD ♪

READY TO REHEARSE, KIMBERLY?



Kimberly: YEAH, I'M
READY, NATALIE.

WAIT A MINUTE. YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO BE HER BOYFRIEND IN THIS PLAY.

WHERE'S YOUR PIPE?

OH, RIGHT. HOLD IT, KIMBERLY.

EW! SMELLS LIKE
OLD GYM SNEAKERS.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

DO I LOOK MORE LIKE REX
HARRISON OR SHERLOCK HOLMES?

YOU PUT THE RIGHT STUFF IN THAT
PIPE, YOU CAN BE ANYONE YOU WANT.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

ANSWERING THE DOOR. IT'S
OUR COUNSELOR FROM THE Y.

NO, IT'S NOT. GET LOST.

I'M REHEARSING THE
SCHOOL PLAY WITH KIMBERLY.

HELLO, RODNEY.

CYNTHIA, MY DARLING.

THAT'S KIMBERLY
UNDER ALL THAT PAINT?

I CREATED THAT MAKE-UP.

RIGHT. I THINK I LOOK
MATURE AND SOPHISTICATED.

NOT TO MENTION WEIRD.

LOOK AT THAT DRESS!

ARNOLD, I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW

MY SCHOOL SPENT A LOT
OF MONEY ON THIS DRESS.

NOW, IF YOU WANT TO STAY,
SIT DOWN AND BE QUIET.

NOW I'VE LOST MY CONCENTRATION.

WELL, TAKE THOSE
PHONY EYELASHES OFF

SO YOU CAN LOOK FOR IT!

I'VE GIVEN MY ALL
FOR THIS PRODUCTION.

GOTTA GO, KIMBERLY.

THANKS A LOT FOR
YOUR HELP, BLAIR.

YEAH. SHE LOOKS BEAUTIFUL
AND SO SOPHISTICATED.

YOU KNOW, YOU REALLY KNOW WHAT YOU'RE
DOING WHEN IT COMES TO MAKE-UP, BLAIR.

WELL, BEAUTY IS MY MIDDLE NAME.

YOU'RE LUCKY. MY
MIDDLE NAME IS LETICIA.

SEE YOU LATER, GUYS. BYE, BLAIR.

THANKS AGAIN, BLAIR.

WILLIS, HAVE I TOLD YOU LATELY
THAT YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL?

THANK YOU, DAHLING.

AND WOULD YOU BELIEVE I'M
NOT WEARING ANY MAKE-UP?

OH!

ALL I'VE GOT ON IS A
LITTLE EYE SHADOW.

I LOVE WHAT YOU'VE
DONE WITH YOUR HAIR.

WILL YOU GUYS KNOCK IT OFF?

COME ON, LET'S START AGAIN.

KIMBERLY, WHY ARE YOU
WEARING ALL THAT GOOP, ANYWAY?

IT'S NOT GOOP. I'M
PLAYING AN OLDER WOMAN.

SHE GOT THE PART ON
ACCOUNT OF THE WAY SHE'S BUILT.

YOU MEAN THEY
FELT SORRY FOR YOU?

ARNOLD, HOW WOULD YOU
LIKE A HIGH HEEL UP YOUR NOSE?

JUST KIDDING.

I MEAN, I'M NOT A KID ANYMORE.

YOU'RE ONLY 15.

BUT GUYS, I'M GROWING UP.

HOW OLD IS THAT GUY
YOU'RE PLAYING, NATALIE?

OH, I'M JUST PLAYING
RODNEY FOR REHEARSAL.

OUR TEACHER MR. WILSON IS
DOING THE PART IN THE PLAY.

HOW COME?

'CAUSE HE WROTE IT,

AND IT'S AN ALL-GIRLS SCHOOL,

AND WE NEED A MAN FOR THE PART.

LET'S START AGAIN, NATALIE, OK?

I'LL GO OUTSIDE. OK.

OH, I'M SORRY. I THOUGHT I
HAD THE DRUMMOND RESIDENCE.

OH, DADDY, IT'S ME!

KIMBERLY, I THOUGHT
YOU LOOKED FAMILIAR.

ARE YOU SURPRISED
AT HOW OLD I LOOK?

WE'RE REHEARSING
FOR THE SCHOOL PLAY.

I'M MORE SURPRISED AT HOW
OLD YOUR LOOK MAKES ME.

OH, DADDY.

WELL, ANYWAY, I DON'T
WANT TO INTERRUPT

YOUR REHEARSAL. NATALIE...

YOUR PIPE IS OUT.

HOW ABOUT THAT, NATALIE?

MY OWN FATHER ALMOST
DIDN'T RECOGNIZE ME.

DAD MUST HAVE LOST
HIS CONTACT LENSES.

DADDY DOESN'T WEAR
CONTACT LENSES.

THEN HE BETTER GET SOME.

DON'T LISTEN TO THEM, KIMBERLY.

YOU COULD EASILY PASS FOR OLDER.

MAYBE 18 OR 20.

OR EVEN 21. OR 2!

YOU BETTER STOP
BEFORE SHE'S ON MEDICARE.

ALL RIGHT. I GOT IT.

HEY, MIKE! HOW YOU
DOING, MAN? COME ON IN.

HI, GUYS, HOW YOU DOING?

Willis: PRETTY
GOOD. Arnold: FINE.

THIS IS MIKE, OUR
COUNSELOR FROM THE Y.

THAT'S KIMBERLY AND NATALIE.

NATALIE. KIMBERLY.

HI.

KIMBERLY IS OUR OLDER SISTER.

OH, YEAH. MUCH OLDER.

YOU GUYS NEVER TOLD ME YOU
HAD SUCH AN ATTRACTIVE SISTER.

HEY, KIMBERLY, IF YOU'RE
INTERESTED IN A SUMMER JOB,

THE Y IS LOOKING FOR WOMEN
20 TO 25 TO BE CAMP COUNSELORS.

I THINK YOU'D BE PERFECT.

REALLY? HOW ABOUT THAT, NATALIE?

YEAH, HOW ABOUT THAT?

THIS GUY NEEDS CONTACT
LENSES MORE THAN DAD.

WELL, I'LL DEFINITELY GIVE
THAT SOME THOUGHT, MIKE.

OH... UH, YOU HAVE TO BE
SINGLE FOR THE JOB. ARE YOU?

AT THE MOMENT.

YEAH. AT THE MOMENT.

OH, GREAT. I'LL PUT
IN A WORD FOR YOU.

THANK YOU.

WELL, IT WAS VERY
NICE MEETING YOU.

OH, NICE MEETING YOU, TOO.

BYE. BYE-BYE.

SEE YOU LATER.

OK, GUYS, LET'S GO
SHOOT SOME HOOPS.

ALL RIGHT. BYE! SEE
YOU GUYS LATER.

HEY, GUYS.

PLEASE DON'T TELL HIM
THE TRUTH ABOUT MY AGE.

OK, WE WON'T SAY ANYTHING
TO MAKE YOU LOOK DUMB.

YEAH. UNFORTUNATELY, YOU'RE
DOING A GOOD JOB ALL BY YOURSELF.

HEY, HOW ABOUT THAT, NATALIE!
HE ACTUALLY THINKS I'M IN MY 20s!

I'M JEALOUS. EVEN WITH
A PIPE, I STILL LOOK 14.

CYNTHIA...

I'M SO HAPPY YOU
DECIDED TO HAVE ME BACK.

RODNEY, PLEASE...

ONE STEP AT A TIME.

I'M JUST A SIMPLE COUNTRY
GIRL FROM NEBRASKA.

WHY DO YOU MOVE AWAY FROM ME

WHEN MY LIPS ACHE FOR YOU?

OH, HI, MR. DRUMMOND.

OH, SORRY. DIDN'T MEAN TO
INTERRUPT YOUR ACHING LIPS.

HELLO?

YES. JUST A MINUTE, PLEASE.

CYNTHIA, IT'S FOR YOU.

THANK YOU, DADDY.

WHO IS IT? HE DIDN'T SAY.

HE?

Psst. Hey, Daddy.

OH! OH, OH, OH. FORGIVE ME.

I'M JUST A SIMPLE COUNTRY
BOY FROM NEBRASKA.

HELLO?

WHO?

OH, WOW!

WHO IS IT?

WELL, YES, OF COURSE
I REMEMBER YOU...

IF YOU'RE THE SAME MIKE TANNER

WHO PICKED UP MY
BROTHERS HALF AN HOUR AGO.

OH, WOW!

OH, YEAH. WELL, I'D HAVE
TO THINK ABOUT THAT, MIKE.

HE WANTS TO TAKE
ME TO THE MOVIES.

I COULD DIE.

UH, MIKE? I'D REALLY LIKE TO,
BUT I DON'T THINK I COULD TONIGHT,

BECAUSE IF MY DAD THOUGHT I
WAS... NO, NO. WHAT I MEAN IS...

WELL, HOLD ON, PLEASE.

DADDY?

DADDY!

YES?

WERE YOU CALLING, OR
WERE YOU JUST EMOTING?

UM, WHEN IS THAT CHARITY
DINNER YOU'RE GOING TO?

TOMORROW NIGHT. WHY?

OH. WELL, THEN, I CAN
REHEARSE HERE THEN, HUH?

WHAT TIME WILL YOU BE LEAVING?

UH, ABOUT 6:30.

OH. WELL, THEN, YOU WON'T
BE HAVING DINNER HERE?

NO. THEY USUALLY SERVE
DINNER AT THOSE DINNERS.

COLD STUFFED BREAST
OF RUBBER CHICKEN.

BUT IT'S OK. ALL THE
WAITERS ARE PARAMEDICS.

HELLO, MIKE?

YEAH, I CAN MAKE
IT TOMORROW NIGHT.

HOW ABOUT 7:00?

GREAT. I'LL SEE YA. BYE-BYE.

OH, NATALIE! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

I'M ACTUALLY GOING
OUT WITH AN OLDER MAN!

YOU'LL BE THE ENVY OF
EVERY GIRL IN SCHOOL,

EVEN BLAIR.

YEAH. I BETTER PINCH MYSELF.

WHY DON'T YOU LET YOUR
DATE DO THAT FOR YOU?

I GOT IT. NO, I GOT IT.

I GOT IT. I GOT IT I GOT IT.

OKAY, I'M OFF, GUYS.

ARNOLD, I WANT YOUR
HOMEWORK DONE.

ME, TOO. I WISH I KNEW
SOMEONE WHO COULD DO IT.

I'LL MAKE SURE HE DOES IT, DAD.

GOOD, AND SEE THAT YOU
GET TO BED ON TIME, TOO.

OKAY. HAVE FUN, DAD.

HOW MUCH FUN CAN YOU
HAVE WITH A COLD CHICKEN?

MAYBE YOU CAN WARM HER UP.

I'LL BE HOME AROUND 12. SAY
GOOD-NIGHT TO KIMBERLY FOR ME.

OKAY. OH, OH, OH.

I NEARLY FORGOT MY INVITATION.

YOU HEAR THAT? DAD
WON'T BE BACK TILL MIDNIGHT.

THAT MEANS, "HERE'S JOHNNY!"

BUT YOU'RE NOT WATCHING!

NO JOHNNY CARSON
TONIGHT, ARNOLD.

WHY? HAS HE GOT
ANOTHER MONTH OFF?

LISTEN, ARNOLD. YOU'RE GOING TO
BE IN BED LONG BEFORE HE GOES ON.

HEY, GUYS, DID DADDY SAY
WHAT TIME HE'D BE HOME?

DADDY SAID ABOUT 12. WHY?

DADDY, I THOUGHT YOU HAD LEFT.

WELL, I'M JUST ABOUT TO.

HONEY, I CAN'T GET OVER HOW
GROWN UP YOU LOOK IN THAT OUTFIT.

I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S YOU.

MOST OF IT ISN'T.

NOW, DON'T REHEARSE TOO LATE,

AND SAY HELLO TO
YOUR BOYFRIEND FOR ME.

UH, MY BOYFRIEND?

YEAH, NATALIE.

ISN'T SHE PLAYING THE
PART OF YOUR BOYFRIEND?

OH, YEAH, NO. WELL, SEE, SHE'S
JUST REHEARSING THE PART WITH ME.

ACTUALLY, MY TEACHER'S
PLAYING THE PART.

IN FACT, HE WROTE THE PLAY.

THAT'S ONE WAY TO GET A PART.

GOOD NIGHT, KIDS.

- GOOD NIGHT.
- NIGHT, DADDY.

HEY, GUYS, WHY DON'T
YOU GO ON UPSTAIRS

AND WATCH TV AND DO YOUR
HOMEWORK OR SOMETHING?

WHY ARE YOU TRYING
TO GET RID OF US?

WE WON'T BOTHER YOUR REHEARSAL.

WHO'S REHEARSING?
I'M GOING TO A MOVIE.

A MOVIE?

WHY DID YOU LIE TO DAD?

I DIDN'T.

HE JUST ASSUMED THAT
I WAS REHEARSING HERE,

AND I DIDN'T CORRECT HIM.

IF DAD FINDS OUT
YOU LIED TO HIM,

HE'S GOING TO CORRECT YOUR BUTT.

ARE YOU GOING OUT TO THE
STREET LOOKING LIKE THAT?

WHAT'S WRONG
WITH THE WAY I LOOK?

YOU KIDDING? DOESN'T THE
MIRROR IN YOUR ROOM WORK?

HEY, GUYS? PLEASE DON'T
TELL DADDY ABOUT THIS.

IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT TO ME.

OK, IF IT MEANS
THAT MUCH TO YOU,

WE WON'T SAY
ANYTHING. RIGHT, ARNOLD?

OUR LIPS ARE SEALED. THANKS.

OH, HI, MIKE. COME ON IN.

HELLO.

OH, HI, GUYS.

HEY, MIKE.

YOU ALL SET? ALL SET FOR WHAT?

I TOLD YOU. I'M
GOING TO A MOVIE.

I'M HER DATE.

WHAT YOU TALKIN' 'BOUT, MIKE?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WELL, YOU SEE, MIKE,
ABOUT KIMBERLY...

WHAT ABOUT KIMBERLY?

IT'S JUST THAT SHE'S BEEN GOING
TO THE MOVIES AN AWFUL LOT.

RIGHT, ARNOLD?

RIGHT. EVERY NIGHT.

OH, GOOD.

WELL, WE WON'T BE LATE. WE'RE
JUST GOING DOWN TO CINEMA 7

TO SEE LOVER'S LAGOON.

IS THAT THE ONE WHERE
EVERYONE SWIMS NAKED?

EVERYBODY BUT THE OLD PIRATE.

KIMBERLY, YOU SAW THAT PICTURE.

NO, I DIDN'T.

UH, MIKE, WHY DON'T YOU
GO GET THE ELEVATOR?

OH, OK. CHECK YOU GUYS LATER.

I'LL BE RIGHT WITH YOU.

OH, THANKS A LOT, GUYS.

KIMBERLY, ARE YOU
OUT OF YOUR TREE?

YOU'RE 15 AND HE'S 25!

BUT HE THINKS I'M 20!

OH, YOU GUYS JUST DON'T KNOW

WHAT'S IT LIKE TO
BE A REAL WOMAN.

NO, AND I HOPE I NEVER FIND OUT.

I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

BYE.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT CAN HAPPEN WITH
HER GOING OUT WITH A 25-YEAR-OLD MAN?

NO. WHAT COULD HAPPEN?

OH, NEVER MIND.

WHAT SHE'S DOING
IS A CRAZY THING.

OH!

I GET IT.

YEAH. THAT IS A CRAZY THING.

SHE'S GONNA SEE
THAT DUMB MOVIE TWICE.

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I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD HAVE
GONE ALONG WITH THIS, ARNOLD.

A 15-YEAR-OLD GIRL SHOULDN'T BE
GOING OUT WITH A 25-YEAR-OLD MAN

WHO THINKS SHE'S 20 AND SHAVES.

I DIDN'T KNOW KIMBERLY SHAVED.

I MEAN MIKE.

YOU KNOW WHAT GUYS DO
WHEN THEY GO TO THE MOVIES.

THEY TAKE THE GIRL UP
TO THE BALCONY AND...

YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT.

YEAH. A SLOBBER JOB.

AND IT'S NOT WORTH IT.

YOU GOTTA WALK ALL THE WAY
BACK DOWNSTAIRS TO GET CANDY.

LISTEN, ARNOLD, I
THINK WE SHOULD DO...

HEY, I GOT AN IDEA.
WE'RE GOING TO CINEMA 7.

WOULD YOU HAPPEN TO KNOW IF
THEY'RE AT LEAST SHOWING A CARTOON?

I DON'T CARE WHAT THEY'RE SHOWING.
WE'RE GOING THERE TO SAVE OUR SISTER.

COME ON, LET'S GO.

REMEMBER, ARNOLD. WE'RE
NOT HERE TO ENJOY THE MOVIE.

WHO COULD ENJOY IT?

LOOK AT ALL THAT KISSING!

NO CAR CHASES, NO
MONSTERS, NO SPACE SHIPS.

JUST LIPS.

ARNOLD, WE'RE HERE
TO SAVE OUR SISTER.

I DON'T CARE WHAT'S UP THERE.

AND I DON'T CARE...

THERE THEY ARE.

WHO?

KIMBERLY!

HUH? OH.

YOU KNOW, YOU ARE
REALLY GREAT-LOOKING.

OH. THANK YOU.

I'M SURPRISED SOMEONE
YOUR AGE STILL LIVES AT HOME.

EVER THINK ABOUT
GETTING YOUR OWN PLACE?

OH, YEAH. ALL THE TIME.

I JUST DON'T THINK
I'D LIKE BEING ALONE.

YOU WOULDN'T BE ALONE.

UH-OH. HE'S MAKING HIS MOVE.

HEY, WATCH IT WITH
THE POPCORN, WILL YA?

HEY, YOU.

YOU TALKIN' TO ME?

YEAH, YOU. WE'RE GETTING
A LOT OF FALLOUT HERE.

OK.

THIS IS THE LAST
TIME I'M TELLING YOU.

STOP DUMPING POPCORN ON US.

WILL YOU SIT DOWN?

HEY, KNOCK IT OFF.

WE'D LIKE TO SEE THE MOVIE.

WHO'S DUMPING POPCORN ON YA?

YOU ARE. AND YOU
BETTER CUT IT OUT,

OR ELSE.

OR ELSE WHAT?

UH...

I'D LIKE TO THINK ABOUT THAT.

YOU DO THAT.

MIKE, REALLY, IT'S OK. JUST
SIT DOWN AND FORGET IT.

WELL, IF YOU INSIST.

I MEAN, I WOULDN'T WANT
YOU GETTING IN A FIGHT

JUST BECAUSE OF LITTLE OLD ME.

OH, WHAT BETTER REASON?

THERE HE GOES AGAIN.

COME ON.

HEY!

COME ON, YOU 2!

WHAT DID I TELL YOU
ABOUT THAT POPCORN?

Woman: WILL YOU SIT
DOWN AND BE QUIET?

IT WASN'T ME!

AND YOU'RE STARTING
TO REALLY BUG ME.

HA HA HA HA! THAT'S OK.

COME ON, LET'S JUST
LEAVE AND FORGET IT.

THAT'S A VERY GOOD IDEA.
LET'S GO HAVE A DRINK.

UH, A DRINK?

WELL... HEH...

HEY, SURE, WHY NOT?

YOU KNOW, IT'S A GOOD
THING YOU STOPPED ME.

THERE'S NO TELLING WHAT I
WOULD HAVE DONE TO THAT GUY.

THE MOVIE WAS OVER AN HOUR AGO.

I WONDER WHAT
THEY COULD BE DOING.

I HATE TO THINK.

I KNOW YOU HATE THINK,
WILLIS, BUT THIS IS FOR KIMBERLY,

SO TAKE A STAB AT IT.

WELL, HI, GUYS.

DAD!

WHY AREN'T YOU TWO IN BED? -00!

OH, WELL, WE WERE
STUDYING REAL HARD,

AND TIME REALLY FLIES
WHEN YOU'RE HAVING FUN.

THAT SOUNDS REASONABLE, I THINK.

DAD, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HOME SO EARLY?

YOU SAID AROUND 12:00.

WELL, THIS WAS AN INTERESTING
CHANGE FOR A CHARITY DINNER.

THIS TIME, THE FOOD WAS BORING,
AND THE SPEECHES GAVE ME INDIGESTION.

WHERE'S KIMBERLY?

THE SPEECHES GAVE
HIM INDIGESTION!

THAT WAS A GOOD ONE, DAD.

GOOD NIGHT, DAD.

WAIT A MINUTE! HOLD IT!

I SAID, WHERE IS KIMBERLY?

HA! THAT'S WHAT
HE SAID, ALL RIGHT!

WELL, WHERE IS SHE?

UM... SHE SHOULD BE REHEARSING.

WASN'T SHE REHEARSING HERE?

WELL, NO. SHE'S REHEARSING
SOMEWHERE ELSE.

YEAH. WITH HER TEACHER.

YEAH. TEACHER.

OH. WELL, I BETTER GET
MYSELF A BICARBONATE.

UGH.

LET ME GIVE YOU GUYS A BIT OF
ADVICE THAT COULD SAVE YOUR LIFE.

NEVER CONTRIBUTE TO ANY ORGANIZATION
THAT SERVES CREAMED CHICKEN ON TOAST.

WHEW.

THAT WAS GOOD
COVERING UP, WILLIS.

MAYBE WE SAVED KIMBERLY'S NECK.

YEAH. NOW ALL WE GOTTA DO IS
WORRY ABOUT THE REST OF HER.

THANKS A LOT, MIKE. IT
WAS A SUPER EVENING.

MERCI AND CIAO.

I'M REALLY SORRY
ABOUT THE MOVIE.

OH, IT WAS NADA, IF...
IF YOU GET MY MEANING.

YOU KNOW, I FIND
IT SO MUCH EASIER

TO GET TO KNOW
SOMEBODY OVER A DRINK.

YOU HAVE TO EXCUSE ME.
I'M JUST A LITTLE SLEEPY.

ON TWO ROOT BEERS?

WELL, IT'S JUST THAT I'VE
GOTTEN SO BORED WITH MARTINIS.

WELL, GOOD NIGHT.

AREN'T YOU GOING TO ASK ME IN?

BUT IT'S SO LATE.

10:00 IS LATE?

IT IS IF YOU'VE BEEN OUT ON THE
TOWN EVERY NIGHT, LIKE I HAVE.

COME ON, JUST FOR A FEW MINUTES.

BUT I'M SO TIRED.

COME ON.

WELL, MAYBE JUST
FOR A FEW MINUTES.

UM... WE CAN SIT RIGHT
OVER HERE ON THE COUCH.

SO... WHERE ARE
WILLIS AND ARNOLD?

OH, THEY'RE PROBABLY ASLEEP.

GOOD.

ON THE OTHER HAND,

THEY COULD BE AWAKE.

YOU SEEM TO BE A
LITTLE NERVOUS, THERE.

NERVOUS? WHO?
HA! ME? HA! NERVOUS?

HA HA! DON'T BE SILLY.

CAN I "COFFER" YOU SOME "OFFEE?"

CAN I OFFER YOU SOME COFFEE?

ALL I WANT IS Y-O-U.
COME HERE, YOU.

WHY ARE YOU PULLING AWAY?

WELL, I... I DON'T BELIEVE
IN RUSHING THINGS.

IT'S ONLY A KISS.

OH, DADDY!

I'M SORRY. THE BOYS
TOLD ME YOU WERE OUT.

I GUESS YOU DECIDED
TO DO IT HERE.

MIKE... DAD, THIS
IS MIKE TANNER.

WELL, HI, THERE. SHE'S
PRETTY GOOD, ISN'T SHE?

I BEG YOUR PARDON?

WELL, MIKE AND I WERE JUST...

I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW.
DON'T LET ME INTERRUPT.

BUT, LOOK, YOU TWO HAVE
BEEN AT THIS ALL EVENING.

YOU OUGHT TO THINK
ABOUT GETTING TO BED.

OK!

YOU KNOW, YOUR FATHER HAS
REALLY GOT IT ALL TOGETHER.

MIKE, PLEASE!

THEY'RE BACK, AND
THEY'RE AT IT AGAIN.

AND HERE I AM WITH NO POPCORN.

COME ON, ARNOLD,
WE GOTTA BUST THIS UP

BEFORE DAD BUSTS THEM UP.

HEY! WHAT'S HAPPENING?

HOW'S IT GOING, MIKE?

OH, HI, GUYS.

HI, GUYS, NICE TO SEE YA!

HEY, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT
REAGAN'S NEW CABINET, MIKE?

DO YOU THINK HE SHOULD PUT IT
IN HIS KITCHEN OR HIS BATHROOM?

SHOULDN'T YOU GUYS BE ASLEEP?

THEY CERTAINLY
SHOULD. UPSTAIRS, YOU 2.

LEAVE YOUR SISTER AND
MR. TANNER ALONE SO THEY CAN FINISH.

SAY WHAT?

UPSTAIRS, BOTH OF YOU.

Arnold: BUT DAD... NO
BUTS! GOOD NIGHT.

Arnold: ALL RIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT. GOOD NIGHT.

LISTEN, YOU TWO, WHEN
YOU GET THIS THING RIGHT,

CALL ME. I'D LIKE TO WATCH.

WATCH?

THAT IS, IF YOU
HAVE NO OBJECTION.

DADDY! WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

WELL, YOU AND MR. TANNER
HAVE BEEN REHEARSING

THIS PLAY THAT HE WROTE
FOR A LONG TIME NOW.

PLAY? DADDY...

MIKE ISN'T MY TEACHER.

HE'S SORT OF MY DATE.

DATE?

UH-OH. HERE'S WHERE THE VEINS
POP OUT ON DAD'S FOREHEAD.

HOW OLD ARE YOU?

ME? 25.

25!

YOU ARE 25?

POOR MIKE'S NEVER GONNA MAKE 26.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING
WITH A 15-YEAR-OLD GIRL?

15? WHO'S...

SHE'S...

YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE 20.

NO, NOT EXACTLY.

I JUST DIDN'T TELL YOU I WASN'T.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY
PRETENDING TO BE A 20-YEAR-OLD?

WELL, DADDY, YOU
TOLD ME I LOOKED 20.

THAT WAS FOR YOUR SCHOOL
PLAY, NOT FOR PLAYING AROUND.

15. OH, BOY.

I'M SORRY, MIKE.

THIS WASN'T FAIR TO YOU.

OH, NO, NO, I WAS
HAVING A GREAT TIME.

I... I... I... I MEAN,
NOT GREAT.

UH, GOOD.

NO, NO. NOT GOOD.

UH... HARMLESS.

WELL, I REALLY SHOULD
BE GETTING OUT OF TOWN.

UH, HOME.

GOOD NIGHT, SIR.

UH, GOOD NIGHT, KIMBERLY.

GOOD NIGHT. I'M SORRY
ABOUT THIS MISUNDERSTANDING.

YEAH, ME, TOO.

15?

I'M SO EMBARRASSED.

WELL, YOU SHOULD BE.

I'M SORRY, DADDY.

IT WASN'T ALL HER FAULT, DAD.

ARNOLD AND ME TOLD
MIKE THAT SHE WAS 20.

WE DIDN'T THINK HE WAS
DUMB ENOUGH TO BELIEVE IT.

YEAH. I GUESS WHEN YOU
START GETTING INTO YOUR 20s,

YOUR MIND STARTS TO GO.

LISTEN, SWEETHEART,
DON'T RUSH GETTING OLDER.

IT'LL HAPPEN ALL TOO SOON.

BUT WHAT'S WRONG WITH
RUNNING TO MEET LIFE?

WELL, YOU COULD GET TRIPPED.

LOOK, IF WE'RE
GONNA PHILOSOPHIZE,

LET'S SIT DOWN
AND DO IT PROPERLY.

YEAH! WITH POPCORN!

I CAN "PHILOPHOLIZE"
BETTER WITH POPCORN.

THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.

SPEAKING OF POPCORN,
SOME NUT IN THE THEATER

WAS TOSSING POPCORN
ALL OVER THE PLACE.

HEH. WELL, YOU NEVER
KNOW WHO YOU'LL MEET

IN A THEATER BALCONY THESE DAYS.

YEAH. ARNOLD, HOW DID YOU
KNOW IT WAS IN THE BALCONY?

YES. HOW DID YOU
KNOW THAT, ARNOLD?

I'LL MAKE THE POPCORN,
AND WILLIS WILL EXPLAIN.

♪ NOW, THE WORLD DON'T MOVE ♪

♪ TO THE BEAT OF JUST ONE DRUM ♪

♪ WHAT MIGHT BE RIGHT FOR YOU ♪

♪ MAY NOT BE RIGHT FOR SOME ♪

♪ A MAN IS BORN ♪

♪ HE'S A MAN OF MEANS ♪

♪ THEN ALONG COME TWO ♪

♪ THEY GOT NOTHIN'
BUT THEIR JEANS ♪

♪ BUT THEY GOT
DIFF'RENT STROKES ♪

♪ IT TAKES DIFF'RENT STROKES ♪

♪ IT TAKES DIFF'RENT STROKES ♪

♪ TO MOVE THE
WORLD, YES, IT DOES ♪

♪ IT TAKES DIFF'RENT
STROKES TO MOVE THE WORLD ♪

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