Diff'rent Strokes (1978–1986): Season 2, Episode 21 - The Slumber Party - full transcript

♪ Now the world don't move
to the beat of just one drum ♪

♪ What might be right for
you may not be right for some ♪

♪ A man is born He's
a man of means ♪

♪ Then along come two They
got nothin' but their jeans ♪

♪ But they got
diff'rent strokes ♪

♪ It takes diff'rent strokes ♪

♪ It takes diff'rent strokes
to move the world ♪

♪ Everybody's got a
special kind of story ♪

♪ Everybody finds
a way to shine ♪

♪ It don't matter that you
got not a lot, so what ♪

♪ They'll have theirs and you'll
have yours and I'll have mine ♪



♪ And together we'll
be fine 'cause it takes ♪

♪ Diff'rent strokes to move
the world Yes, it does ♪

♪ It takes diff'rent strokes
to move the world ♪♪

[Phone Ringing]
I got it! I got it!

I got it! It's for me. I'm expecting
a phone call. Well, so am I.

I'm not, but I like
to answer phones.

[Suavely] Hello. Yes, he...

[Normal Voice] Oh. Yeah,
he is. Okay, just a minute.

Now, there's a chick
with a real sexy voice.

Then it must be
for me. It's not. Dad!

Dad, it's for you... a lady
named Valerie Hunter.

Valerie Hunter. What
a wonderful surprise.

You think her voice is sexy, you
oughta see where it comes from.

Val.



Hey, how nice. When
did you get to town?

When can I see you?

Tonight? Great.
Where are you staying?

Mm-hmm. How about 7:00?

Hey, let's get an early start, because,
when I see you, I am really gonna...

See you later, Val. Yeah.

I won't be having dinner
with you tonight, kids.

A friend of mine is
in town from England.

England? Isn't that
where they talk funny?

No. That's the Bronx.

Anyway, she's only
in town for one night.

Then why waste
time havin' dinner?

- Take her right to a movie.
- Good thinking, Arnold.

You are in charge tonight,
Kimberly. Okay, Daddy.

Why is she in charge? 'Cause I'm the
oldest. I've done babysitting for people.

Babysitting? I'm no baby. I
kicked the diaper habit years ago.

Me too. You try to change
me, you're in for a big surprise.

Okay, kids. Knock it off.

You're right. You're not
babies, but Kimberly is in charge.

[Doorbell Chimes]

[Girls Shouting]
Kimberly! Kimberly!

Thanks for waiting
till I opened the door.

- Dad, you remember Natalie.
- Hi.

Cindy. Hello.

Tootie. Hi, Mr. Drummond.

And Molly, from my school.

How are the beauties from
the Eastland Girls' School?

Oh, they couldn't
come, so they sent us.

You know my brothers,
Willis and Arnold.

- [Girls] Hi.
- Hi.
- How you doin'?

Aw, isn't he the cutest
thing you ever saw?

Oh, I just love that baby face.

He looks like a chipmunk with
its cheeks full of nuts. [Laughing]

Get away from me,
you cheek freaks.

I'm savin' my cheeks
for the woman I marry.

So, what are you guys
doin' here anyway?

We're havin' a slumber
party over at my house.

We decided on the
spur of the moment.

- Get your sleeping bag,
Kimberly.
- And stuff it with pizza.

Well, gee, I'd love to,
but I'm babysitting tonight.

Hey, I told you. Watch
who you're calling a baby.

Yeah. I'm only a week
away from "pooperty."

And Willis is just
recovering from it.

And, Molly? Will your mother
be home tonight to supervise?

- Oh, sure.
- How about boys
at the party?

If you know any, send 'em over.

Okay, honey, you
can go. It'll be all right.

Thank you, Daddy. Kimberly,
you'd better go pack your gear.

Better get a forklift.

She packs a suitcase that Arnold
Schwarzenegger couldn't lift.

Come on.

Well, I guess I'd better call my friend
and tell her I can't make it tonight.

You mean, you'll trust Kimberly
to take charge, but not me?

I'm just as mature as she is.

Right. What do you have to do to
be mature around here, wear a bra?

Willis, I left you in charge once.
Remember what happened?

Arnold ate too
much and got sick.

Dad, that happens no
matter who's in charge.

You also stayed up too late.

I don't wanna argue the
point. I have to call Valerie.

Dad, don't cancel your date.

If they start draftin' women,
you may never see one again.

Come on, Dad. Don't I deserve a
second chance? [Dialing Phone]

Yes, Son. Of course
you do. [Handset Clatters]

Thanks, Dad. Okay.

I'll leave the restaurant
telephone number right here...

in case there are any problems.

I expect you boys to behave
just as though I were here.

On second thought,
that's not good enough.

Willis, you did it. Did what?

Aw, we got it made, man. We
got the whole place to ourselves.

We're gonna call Pizza Delight,
Chicken Delight, Ice Cream Delight...

and every Delight that delivers.

No, we aren't, Arnold. No way.

You either do as I
say and toe the line,

or go to bed without dinner.

What you talkin' 'bout, Willis?

I'm talking about Dad
left me responsible.

We're not gonna blow a
lot of money on junk food.

I'm gonna cook us dinner.

If you're cooking, I'll take
my chances with the junk food.

No. I'm gonna make
us some fried eggs,

fried potatoes, fried hot
dogs and fried beans.

Boy, tonight, we're
gonna eat health food.

Yech.

Let's get somethin'
straight, little brother.

I'm in charge tonight, and
what I say goes. Get it?

I got a feelin', if I
don't get it, I'll get it.

♪♪ [Violin: Romantic]

It's been almost a year, Phil.

You haven't changed a bit.
You're still as lovely as ever.

You haven't changed either.
You've still got quite a line.

I hope you're still buying it. I just
happen to be in a buying mood.

I wish you could
stay longer, Val.

And I wish that your
penthouse wasn't full of kids.

There are no kids in your
hotel. I'm glad you noticed.

[Chuckling] Why don't you
settle down in New York?

Aren't you tired of flying all around
the world selling your cosmetics?

A girl has to work for a
living... unless she's married.

Ah. Keep up the good work.

Mr. Drummond.
Phone call for you.

Oh, thank you. It's
gotta be my kids.

[Clicks Tongue] I
hope nothing happened.

Hello? Willis, what's wrong?

Nothing. Is that a serious
nothing or a nothing nothing?

Yeah, I see.

Yes, you may have a few of
your friends come and sleep over.

Thanks for calling,
Willis. Good night.

Oh, Willis. Willis, how
many kids... How many...

I hope I didn't
say yes too soon.

I've had nights
like that myself.

When Willis says a few friends,

it could be anywhere
from two to a hundred.

Now, let's see. Which of my
friends should I invite over?

What do you mean, your friends?
I thought of it. This is my party.

What do you mean, your
party? This is our party.

Okay.

This is our party... to which
none of your friends are coming.

Dad said I'm
captain of this ship.

Well, you better watch it, captain,
or I'll mutiny all over your bounty.

Listen, Arnold, you'll
have a good time.

I'm gonna invite Vernon,
Jimmy and Charles.

Charles? He's the dummy that went to
the zoo and asked to see the Easter "Seal."

Look, why don't you go get
washed up, or I'll tan your butt.

My butt's already tan.

Arnold, get goin'. I'm not
movin' till you say please.

Move it, or I'll bounce
you off the wall.

That's close enough.

Phil, do you remember that dinner
in Venice? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

And the gondola
ride afterwards? Yeah.

I thought the gondolier
had a lovely voice. Mm-hmm.

But you didn't. So you shot
him and threw him in the canal.

Mm-hmm.

Phil. Testing. One, two, three.

Huh? You're not listening to me.

Oh, yes, I am. This fella was singing,
and he got shot in the Erie Canal.

Close.

Oh, I'm sorry, Val.
I wasn't listening.

I was thinking about my boys and
what could be happening at home.

Well, why don't you give them a
call? Oh, you're so understanding.

Captain. Could we have a
telephone, please? Yes, sir.

I'll just make this one
call, and then I'm all yours.

Promises, promises.

Good evening. Good evening.

Uh, what can Sasha play for you?

But I'm warning you.
I must warn you...

that Sasha's violin has been
known to drive lovers crazy.

Uh, how about "Arrivederci,
Roma"? Is that safe?

I think I can keep
that one under control.

♪♪ [Romantic]

Your phone, Mr. Drummond.
♪♪ [Sour Note]

Oh, sorry, Sasha. Hold it
just for a moment, please.

Certainly, sir.

- [Chattering]
- All right, man.

[Chattering Continues]

All right, you Earth creeps.

Get off my planet, or I'll
laser-beam you back to the moon.

Willis, will you tell Arnold
to blast off? [Chuckles]

Aw, come on. You guys
promised that I could play with you.

Didn't we play hide-and-seek
like you wanted?

Yeah. We even let
you hide in the closet.

But you didn't have
to lock the door.

[Phone Rings] I got it.

[Rings] Hello.

Oh. Hi, Dad.

Yeah. Everything's real cool.

I only invited three guys. Yeah.
Vernon, Jimmy and Charles.

Charles? Isn't that the kid that went to
the zoo and asked to see the Easter Seal?

[Laughing] Yeah,
that's him, Dad.

Yeah, everything's okay. Uh-huh.

Dad, you wanna
know what Willis did?

He made a wonderful dinner.

He fried everything
but the table.

What are you eatin'?

We're going to have some
vichyssoise, ♪♪ [Plucking]

some goose-liver pâté, snails,

uh, sweetbreads
and crêpe suzettes.

Boy, talk about junk food.

Yeah, we'll be good.

Yeah, I know
Willis is in charge.

Good night.

[Chattering]

Man, what's happenin'?

What is this? What are
you girls doin' back here?

Molly couldn't have her slumber
party 'cause her brother's sick.

And Cindy was
afraid we'd catch it.

So Kimberly said
to come over here.

What are you guys gonna do with
those sleeping bags, sleep in 'em?

No. We're gonna hang from
the ceiling by our toes like bats.

How are we gonna have our
slumber party here, Kimberly?

You're not. The party's
been canceled, girls.

I'm in charge, so why
don't you just get lost.

Uh-oh. We're in trouble.

You guys go pick up your
bedrolls and get outta here.

Who needs this? Get out. Right.

[Sighs] Put those
bedrolls down, girls.

I said pick 'em up.

I said put them down.

Will you guys make up your
minds? I'm getting the bends.

Leave them down.

Now that I'm back, I'm
in charge, little brother.

Who you callin' little
brother, shorter sister?

Willis, you're only
taller by an Afro.

[Laughing]

Only taller by an Afro.

[Laughing] That's a
good one, Kimberly.

[Clears Throat]

It's not that funny.

Come on, girls. Open
up your sleeping bags.

I said the party's canceled, girls,
so why don't you just go home.

I am home, Willis. You're
being very bullheaded.

You also resemble the
other half of that bull.

Look, Kimberly, Dad put me in
charge, but I'll give you a break.

You can have your slumber
party here. Oh, isn't he good to us?

Let's all bow and kiss his ring.

[Girls] Thank you! Thank you!

Thank you so much.

All right, all right. Cool it.

But take the sleeping
bags up to your room.

My room? Are you kidding?

You guys take your sleeping
bags and go up to your room.

We need more room
because we're bigger.

Yeah, that's
right. We're bigger.

I pass.

What does size have to
do with it, Mister Macho?

Yeah. Wanna go a couple rounds?

Help! Help! [Laughing]

I'm being attacked
by Wonder Woman.

[Mock Crying] Don't let me go!

You're acting silly, Willis.
She's got a point there.

Shut up, Arnold.

When I want you
to talk, I'll tell you.

Willis, you shouldn't
talk to Arnold that way.

It's rude. It's humiliating.

It's demeaning. Yeah, Willis.

It's rude, it's humilimeaning
and "demilitating."

Well, this is a democracy. I say we
take a vote to see who goes upstairs.

[Chattering]

No, no. There's
not gonna be a vote.

I'm runnin' this democracy.

Willis, that doesn't make sense.

It doesn't have to make
sense. It's an argument.

- [Exclaiming, Chattering]
- Give me a break.

A vote wouldn't do any good anyway
because there's five of us and five of you.

It's a deadlock. Come on, guys.

But, Willis. Willis. Willis.

It wouldn't be a deadlock
if it was six to four.

Yeah, but one of them
isn't gonna vote with us.

No, but one of us is
gonna vote with them.

Guess who.

Good for you, Arnold.

Willis, I'm tired of
you pickin' on me.

So am I. Willis, this is war.

[All Chattering, Shouting]

Gee, Arnold, is Willis always so
rotten and unreasonable like this?

No. This is one
of his better days.

He's really a dictator. I
wonder what's bothering him.

He's probably been
taking obnoxious pills.

He's usually not like this. I
wonder why he's so grouchy.

Maybe he's teething again.

Maybe he needs a
shot of prune juice.

I bet he's going through some
phase of adolescent crisis.

You mean like pimples?

I don't know what his problem
is, but I'm sure not giving in.

I'm gonna call Daddy and see
what he has to say about this. Right.

[Laughing, Sighs]

Val, what can I do to keep
you from leaving tomorrow?

I'm sorry, Phil, but, as they
say, business before pleasure.

Well, at least we've still got
tonight for pleasure before business.

Ah, Sasha?

May we have that
number now, please?

Uh, if monsieur
is ready, Sasha is.

Would the lovely lady like
to hear "Arrivederci, Roma"?

Yes, and don't hold back, Sasha.

This is our night for crazy.

Sasha knows where
you're coming from.

♪♪ [Romantic]

Phone call for you,
Mr. Drummond. ♪♪ [Sour Note]

[Mouthing Words]

Hello? Kimberly.

What are you doing at home?

I'm sorry, Val.

Yeah, uh-huh. I see.

The apartment is big
enough for all of you.

Now, you work it out.

Arrivederci... without the Roma.

I want you and Willis to come
to some kind of a compromise.

And that's an order.
Good night, Kimberly.

Where's Sasha?

- He left,
and it may be catching.
- I'm really sorry, Val.

I've been in a
romantic triangle before,

but the third party
was never a telephone.

[Shouting, Arguing]

Willis, you're being impossible!

Daddy said to compromise.

How do I know he said
that? I wasn't on the phone.

- So I'm still in charge.
- Listen, Willis...

- You be quiet, you traitor!
- Yeah, Benedict Arnold!

Quit pickin' on me. Haven't
you heard of E.R.A...

Equal Rights for Arnold?

Come on, guys. Let's
have a conference.

Us girls'll have
a conference too.

I... I mean, them and me.

We ought to figure out
a way to get rid of them.

I know. Let's use
our... feminine wiles.

I don't think I
have any of those.

Me either, but I'm expecting
some any minute now.

Natalie, what do you
mean by feminine wiles?

She means sweet-talk
them into doing what we want.

Oh, that won't work with Willis.
You gotta use psychology on him.

- What kind of psychology?
- Tell him Donna Summer
is in the lobby.

Arnold, you're
really not helping.

Yeah. Why don't you go swim
a few laps in the kitchen sink?

Leave Arnold alone.
He's cute. [Yelps]

I got a mind too, you know.

I'm not just a pair
of pretty cheeks.

Listen, let's forget Willis.
Let's play space patrol.

- That's for children.
- Well, we're children.

I'm not a child. I'm a woman.

Well, if you're a woman,
I'm Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.

Arnold, honey, why don't you
just go back on the boys' side?

I think we can find a way
to figure this out ourselves.

[Chattering] Bye, Arnold.

Women! Who says you
can't live without 'em?

Hi, guys. I'm back.
What's the plan?

The plan is for you to
get lost, turncoat. Yeah.

Beat it. Who needs you?
Stick your head in the toilet.

Any other plans?

Arnold, we don't
want you. Get it?

You don't want me.
The girls don't want me.

At least I still have a close
relationship with the refrigerator.

Willis, this is ridiculous.

We have to be down here 'cause
we need the kitchen to make cookies...

for Career Day Monday at school.

What's Career Day?

That's when parents come to
school and tell what their careers are.

My father's coming for it.
He's a lawyer in Washington.

- He'll never be out of work.
- Why not?

'Cause he keeps
politicians out of jail.

Don't fall for that cookie
jazz, man. It's a trick.

Yeah, Vernon's right.
Don't give in, Willis.

If you want lousy food, you
can eat my mother's cooking.

No dice, Kimberly. All right.

If you want a slumber
party, it'll be in your room.

Now, be fair. At least let's flip
a coin to see who goes upstairs.

I already know who goes
upstairs... you. Mm-mmm.

That's the way it should be,
because men always run things.

Yeah. You tell 'em.

Oh, yeah? There have been a lot
of women who have run things also.

Sure. Ever hear
of Gloria Steinem,

Indira Gandhi and
Margaret Thatcher?

I never watch Charlie's
Angels. [Laughing]

Hey, Willis, if you're lookin'
for a fight, you're gonna get it.

That's right. I'll roller-skate
all over your face.

You try it, and your skate key
will be growing out of your nose.

[Chattering] Al right!

Poor boys. It must have been hard
on your parents not having children.

[Shouting, Chattering]

All right, Kimberly. You
guys get goin'. Get upstairs.

Stop telling us what to do.
We can tell you what to do.

[All Shouting, Arguing]

[Shouting, Arguing Continue]

Man, this is the best
seat in the house!

Thank you. How about
some champagne, Val?

Mmm. Champagne makes
me lose my inhibitions.

A case of champagne, captain.

We'll take the Pierre
Moulin Belle Village.

- Pierre Moulin Belle Village.
- Number 24.

Oh, certainly.

Merci.

Oh, Sasha. Sasha.

No more phone calls?
No more phone calls.

Same song? Same song.

Very well.

♪♪ [Romantic]

Another call, Mr. Drummond.
♪♪ [Sour Note]

Oh, no. Sasha
can't take no more.

Do they interrupt Heifetz?
Do they interrupt Menuhin?

They don't even interrupt
Henny Youngman.

Val, really, I...

No. I've got it all figured out.

I'll go to a phone booth
and call in our date.

Hello.

Willis, I don't care
how you decide.

You just settle it, and
no more phone calls.

Is that clear? Good night.

There shouldn't be
any more problems.

Once I really put my foot
down, the kids fall right into line.

[Shouting] [Arnold Laughing]

Go! Go! Smacked! [Laughing]

Boom! Boom! Whack!

[Laughing Continues]
[Shouting Continues]

I'm really sorry, Sasha.
Please. Won't you play for us?

Sir, I do not take
bribes. Well, I just...

I do take tips though. Merci.

"Arrivederci, Roma."
Please, Sasha.

I'll try to remember.
It's been so long.

♪♪ [Romantic]

[Willis] We'll find Dad. There
he is. [Willis, Kimberly Shouting]

- Oh, no!
- Not again!

Hey, Dad! We gotta talk to you!

Man, this is some
joint. I don't believe this.

[Shouting, Overlapping Dialogue]

I offered them the whole
upstairs! Quiet. Quiet, please.

He's being bossy and
pigheaded! One at a time, please.

Phil, this is really romantic.

It's like dating the
Teamsters Union.

Now, this is my...
about-to-be-punished family,

Arnold, Kimberly and
Willis. How you doin'?

I've heard so much
about all of you,

especially tonight.

Wow. She does have a sexy voice.

Why are you here?

- It's all Willis's fault!
- It's all Kimberly's fault!
- It's not my fault.

I'm just an ignorant bystander.

Well, you have ruined my evening
and Valerie's, and I wanna know why.

Dad, you put me in charge, but
Kimberly wouldn't let me be in charge.

Dad, you had put
me in charge first.

Both of you have
disappointed me.

Willis, you have
abused your authority.

Kimberly, you're old enough
to arrive at a compromise.

- I second that.
- [Together] You shut up!

That's how it's been all night.

Go on home, and we will
discuss this in detail in the morning.

Just a minute. Phil, don't be
too angry with the little darlings.

As long as they're here, why don't
they stay and have dessert with us.

Dad, have you considered
marrying this fine lady?

All right. You can
all have dessert.

- All of us?
- Of course.
- [Willis, Kimberly] Okay.

[Whistling] Come on!
Hey, girls! Come on!

[Kids Shouting]

[No Audible Dialogue]

♪ Now the world don't move
to the beat of just one drum ♪

♪ What might be right for
you may not be right for some ♪

♪ A man is born He's
a man of means ♪

♪ Then along come two They
got nothin' but their jeans ♪

♪ But they got
diff'rent strokes ♪

♪ It takes diff'rent strokes ♪

♪ It takes diff'rent strokes to
move the world Yes, it does ♪

♪ It takes diff'rent strokes
to move the world ♪

♪ Mmm ♪♪