Diff'rent Strokes (1978–1986): Season 2, Episode 18 - Valentine's Day Retrospective - full transcript
Arnold and Willis get trapped in the building's storage room and reminisce about time with the Drummonds.
♪ Now the world don't move
to the beat of just one drum ♪
♪ What might be right for
you may not be right for some ♪
♪ A man is born He's
a man of means ♪
♪ Then along come two They
got nothin' but their jeans ♪
♪ But they got
diff'rent strokes ♪
♪ It takes diff'rent strokes ♪
♪ It takes diff'rent strokes
to move the world ♪
♪ Everybody's got a
special kind of story ♪
♪ Everybody finds
a way to shine ♪
♪ It don't matter that you
got not a lot, so what ♪
♪ They'll have theirs and you'll
have yours and I'll have mine ♪
♪ And together we'll
be fine 'cause it takes ♪
♪ Diff'rent strokes to move
the world Yes, it does ♪
♪ It takes diff'rent strokes
to move the world ♪♪
- [Knocking]
- Good morning, boys.
Oh, good morning,
Dad. Good morning, Dad.
I'm leaving for the
office. I'll see you later.
Wait a minute, Dad.
We gotta talk to you.
We got a surprise for you.
Kimberly's in the bathroom.
That's no surprise. She's been
using the bathroom for years.
No, I mean she's
in on the surprise.
Kimberly, Dad's here!
Oh, good morning, Daddy.
Good morning, sweetheart.
Uh, Dad, this is from all of
us for you for Valentine's Day.
Oh, hey, what a nice
thing for you to do.
Read the poem on
the card inside, Dad.
The three of us
made it up. Mm-hmm.
Okay. [Clears Throat]
"To a terrific dad and
a very good friend:
"Our love for you
will never end.
"You're handsome and
your smile is winning,
"and we don't care if
your hair is thinning.
There is no one who is finer,
so will you be our valentiner."
Oh, I love all of you.
That's beautiful.
I am the luckiest dad in the world
to have three such wonderful kids.
I remember a time when I
wasn't so wonderful, Dad...
When the Y.M.C.A. had
that father and son contest,
and I played that
dirty trick on you.
Hey, let's get goin', James.
This is my dad.
Uh, Willis,
I thought the Incredible
Hulk was green.
What did I do? Did you
see the size of his father?
Did I see him? This whole
room was one big T-shirt.
What am I gonna do, Arnold?
I've just gotta beat that James.
Hey, wait a minute.
Didn't Larry just say
he didn't have a son?
So? So he's got one now.
Twenty-five, 26,
27, 28,
29, 30.
Whew. Okay, Willis, that's it.
Whew. Okay, Willis, that's it.
[Blows Whistle]
I thought I heard voices in
here. Are you two guys okay?
Well, one of us isn't.
He's done something
that he's ashamed of.
And it ain't the
occupant of the top bunk.
Well, tell me.
What is it, Willis?
Dad, I lied to you.
The father and son
contest wasn't canceled.
I got somebody else
to be my partner...
'cause I thought I'd have
a better chance of winning.
Man, I almost made a big
mistake, didn't I? I was really dumb.
Well, I don't like
to insult you, Willis,
but when you're
right, you're right.
Hey, gang, I think
I better get going.
Hey, well, wait, Daddy. The valentine
card's not all. We're also taking you out.
Yeah, and paying
for it ourselves.
To a place you're just
dying to go. Where's that?
- The circus.
- Oh, swell.
I was afraid it was
going to be something I
didn't want to do, like
dinner and a good play.
That's terrific, guys.
See you after school.
Bye-bye, Daddy.
Have a good day. Bye.
I know just what I'm
gonna wear to the circus.
Forget it. They got
enough clowns already.
No, I'm talking about
my Superman outfit.
Then I can fly like
those acrobats.
Hey, it's not here!
Hey, maybe it's down
in the storage room.
Remember we packed away those Halloween
costumes and a bunch of other stuff?
Hey, yeah!
Hold this, Arnold.
[Grunts, Mutters]
Here you go. Thank you.
There.
Here's the bin
right here. All right.
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Willis, help me look.
Hmm? Oh, okay.
Hey, look what I found, Arnold.
You doll, Homer, that
you used to sleep with.
Me sleep with a doll?
Willis, you must have me mixed
up with some immature little kid.
Don't try to con
me, little brother.
Remember, I'm the one that
found out you slept with a doll.
Well, I didn't sleep with that
doll. You gave away my real one.
Dad had that one made up to
try to fool me so I'd sleep again.
How'd you know
this wasn't Homer?
Willis, when a guy sleeps with a
doll for eight years, he gets to know.
They never learn to lock doors.
Ah, here it is, Willis.
All right, Arnold. Come on. We
don't wanna be late for school.
Oh, we won't be. Get on
my back, and I'll fly us there.
Whoosh.
Whoosh, whoosh.
Come on, Arnold.
Let's get going.
Come on. We don't wanna
be late. All right. [Grunts]
Hey, the door's stuck!
Step aside, ordinary human.
This is a job for Super Arnold!
Watch this.
Super Arnold better stop,
or he'll bust a super gut.
I got news for you, Arnold.
We're locked in here.
What you talkin' about, Willis?
Man, this is awful!
We'll miss school.
Well, I'll get over that.
What about the circus?
Hey! Hey, you turkeys!
We're locked in here!
Arnold, easy.
Oh, man, we'll never
get out. I'm scared, Willis.
There's no reason to be.
We'll be fine. They'll
come get us soon.
It's kinda like when you
had your appendix out.
You were scared, but
everything worked out okay.
And you even met that
foxy little Alice. Remember?
What's the matter
with you, Arnold?
Oh, I have this
dumb pain in my side.
I've got one in my throat.
They're probably gonna
take my tonsils out.
What are they gonna
take out of you?
Nothin'. I'm leavin' this doctor's
office with all my original equipment.
Well, there's nothing to
be afraid of, Arnold. I'm not.
You mean to tell me you're
not scared of a doctor...
stickin' a knife this
big in your mouth...
and rippin' your throat
out and throwin' it away?
Oh, Arnold, doctors
aren't like that.
Sure they are. Don't
you go to the movies?
Didn't you see that one
about that crazy doctor? Uh-uh.
He gets you on
the operating table,
and while you scream
he cuts you up...
and sells parts of
you all over town.
Oh, Arnold, doctors don't
do that. They're very nice.
Then how come they wear masks?
That's so you won't know
which ones are crazy.
Space Station calling
Rocket Ship Arnold.
This is Space Station
calling Rocket Ship Arnold.
Where are you?
This is Rocket Ship Arnold.
I'm about to land on the moon.
I am lowering my flaps.
And I've just
landed on the moon.
Go ahead, Rocket Ship Arnold. Say
something famous to the whole wide world.
Okay. One small
step for Arnold...
is the best I can
do for mankind.
Did everybody hear that?
[Woman On Speaker]
Yes, including your nurse.
Would the moon people
please knock it off,
of you're gonna be invaded
by the enema people.
Uh, this is the moon people
quittin' while they're ahead.
You're not gonna be in this room with
Alice. She's moving to another room.
- No, I'm not!
- Course you're not!
Yes, she is, and
that's the truth.
But why am I moving?
Alice, Arnold and
me have always said...
say it like it is, right?
Right. Go ahead and say it.
Alice, your father is
movin' you out 'cause...
'cause Arnold's black.
We feel so safe here.
Don't we, Penelope?
Penelope? She's here?
Uh-huh. Oh, long
time no see, Penelope.
She came to see the palace.
- Uh, palace?
- Uh-huh.
If you can be on the
moon, I can be in a palace.
That's fair enough.
It makes sense.
Okay, here we are.
We're in Alice's palace.
How do you like that, Penelope?
- She just left.
- She's hard to keep track of.
She left because she's afraid of the
wicked king who lives in the palace.
He's a bad dude, huh?
Oh, terrible. He doesn't
live with his queen,
and he has a golden-haired
daughter who's very sad.
- What's her problem?
- Her father won't
let her play...
with her best friend
because he's different.
- How is he different?
- He's green.
That's what I call different.
The wicked king
banishes him into the cave,
so go to the cave, Arnold,
'cause you're the green boy.
I am?
Okay.
[Muttering]
Wait a minute. Any
dragons in this cave?
- It doesn't matter.
- It does to the green boy.
No, it doesn't, 'cause look.
The wicked king has fallen off from
his horse and has landed on his head.
Yuck. What a mess.
He'll probably
need an operation.
You're the only one
who can save him.
Okay, I'll operate.
Will the purple nurse and the
plaid nurse and the red nurse...
please put this
guy on the table.
And just in case he needs the
last rites, send in the blue nun.
I'll be your assistant, Arnold.
Hmm. Looks like he
needs a brain transplant.
Hand me the carving
knife. Thank you.
Here we go. Out with the old.
Uh, slip me a
brain out of that jar.
Here, this brain will
make you kind and loving.
He can use it.
Zip him up.
[Gasps] Look!
The king is smiling.
Oh, and did you
hear what he said?
I didn't see him smile.
He says you'll marry his queen,
and everyone in the kingdom can be
friends, no matter what color they are.
You were okay then, and you're
gonna be okay this time, Arnold.
No, I'll never see Alice again, 'cause
they're never gonna find us, Willis,
- We're gonna die down here.
- Course they'll find us,
Arnold.
There's nothing to
be afraid of. Trust me.
We're gonna get
out. So calm down.
All right, Willis.
I'm calm. Okay.
Help! Help! Somebody
find us! Anybody find us!
Open this door! Help!
Easy, Arnold.
Easy. We'll be okay.
You're not gonna die, Arnold.
Believe me. Your number's not up.
But I'm with you.
What if your number is?
Willis, it's almost 5:00. We've
been down here for eight hours.
Well, I'm sure Dad's been looking
for us, and he'll be here soon.
When? I'm starving.
My stomach's so empty that
when it growls, I get an echo.
Are the boys upstairs getting
dressed to go to the circus?
No, they're not home
from school yet. Not yet?
It's not like Arnold
to be late for a circus.
[Phone Rings] [Mutters]
Hello? Oh, hello, Louis.
No, Arnold's not here.
No, he's not sick. Why?
What do you mean,
he didn't go to school?
All right, I'll tell him
you called, Louis.
Arnold didn't go
to school today?
And if Willis isn't home yet, it means
he probably didn't go to school either.
- They must be together.
- But where? What could've
happened to them?
You speak to the doorman.
Maybe he's seen them.
I'm gonna call the hospitals
and the police. Okay.
Hey, anybody!
We're in here! Hey!
Ah, it's no use, Willis.
We're gonna die down here.
My whole life and a Big Mac
just passed in front of my eyes.
Arnold, pull yourself together.
So you haven't eaten for a while.
Hey, I've got an idea.
Arnold, what are you doing?
If Charlie Chaplin can
eat his shoe, so can I.
I can't do it.
I love junk food, but I
gotta pass on sneakers.
Look, Arnold, I know you're hungry
and scared, but I'm your big brother.
Haven't I always
taken care of you?
Yeah, but this
time it's different.
No, it's not, Arnold.
We'll get out of this.
Even if we don't, Willis,
at least we're together.
And besides, I've led a full
life. I even met the champ.
You sure did.
But I had to trick him into coming over
by telling him that you were very sick.
Come in, Champ.
He's awfully weak, Champ.
[Arnold Groaning]
Hi there, Arnold.
Who's that? It's
me... the champ.
Joe Louis?
This kid's delirious.
No, it's me... Muhammad Ali.
You'll have to speak louder.
I can't hear you over
those golden harps.
Golden harps?
Oh, this kid's in trouble. Did
you all find out what he's got?
- It's a rare tropical disease.
- When was he in the tropics?
He wasn't. That's
what makes it so rare.
Say what?
- Champ?
- Yeah?
Could I ask a favor while I've
still got breath in my little lungs?
Yeah. What is it? Could you
autograph a picture for me?
Be glad to. Here's a pen.
Boy, you got quicker
hands than me.
Well, I'm glad I got my
picture all ready for you.
Now, what do you want me to say?
To my best friend, Arnold.
"To my best friend, Arnold."
Who I've always liked
to have dinner with.
[Laughing] "Who I've always
liked to have dinner with."
And who I'm teachin' to whoop guys
like the Gooch so they won't pick on him.
Okay, wait a second.
Because Arnold will give 'em a left
and a right and a shot in the nose...
and an uppercut and a
bam, wham, slam, wham!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
For a little guy who's supposed to
be dyin', you sure got a lot of energy.
Oh. Oh, well, it comes
and goes. It just went.
Yeah, I owe meeting
the champ to you, Willis.
You've been the greatest
brother a guy ever had.
You too, Arnold.
No, like I was real dumb that time I
thought you were trying to steal my woman.
I only did it to
teach you a lesson.
I know, but at the time I thought
you really dug her. Remember?
Hi there.
Willis always
dresses for dinner.
Will you two excuse me, please?
Ooh, Willis! That outfit is bad!
Just some old threads
I had layin' around.
They blow me away.
Well, don't blow away. I
ain't through yet, mama.
I brought you a new record
called The Slipped Discos.
Thank you, little mama.
Hey, hey. What do
ya say, big mama?
Hi, Arnold. Willis, would you please
show me that terrific backflip again?
Anything for you, sweet stuff.
Hey, hey. I brought you
a present, sugar face.
Go ahead, Willis.
Hold this, little mama.
That's fantastic.
Yeah, well, you know, I get
bored walkin' the regular way.
Thank you, little mama.
Hey, Lurleen, that candy cost
me three weeks' allowance.
I was gonna buy a
Buck Rogers thermos,
but I, uh, blew
it on you instead.
Thanks, Arnold. Hah!
Now, open your mouth
and close your eyes.
- Open wide.
- I can't open any wider.
- Want another?
- I didn't taste the first one.
But, Lurleen, don't you wanna
give me some candy too?
Yes, Arnold. Help yourself.
Come on, Lurleen. We got
some fancy dancin' to do.
Okay.
♪♪ [Disco]
You're too much, Willis.
Aw, he can't dance. Move.
I'll show you some dancin'.
She was just usin' me to meet
you, Willis. I sure was fooled.
I was just putty in the hands
of an experienced woman.
Well, it won't happen again, Arnold,
'cause now you're an experienced man.
Yeah, you can write
that on my tombstone:
"Here lies an
experienced dead man."
I'll be right here, officer. Please, call
me the minute you know something.
Daddy, the doorman
said that he hadn't even
seen Willis and Arnold
leave the building.
I don't understand that.
If they didn't leave the
building, where could they be?
Did they say anything
strange to you this morning?
No stranger than usual.
I was in the bathroom,
and Arnold yelled in and asked if I
knew where his Superman outfit was.
Why would he ask about
his Superman outfit?
[Tapping]
Willis, when we go to heaven, do
you think we can share the same room?
Arnold, we're not
going to heaven.
Well, maybe we could share
the same room wherever we go.
I better do some heavy
prayin'. Maybe God'll hear me...
like he did that time
you were mad at me,
and you didn't wanna
to live with me anymore.
Can you hear me up there, God?
It's me... Arnold Jackson.
The little kid on Park Avenue.
Well, I know it's kinda late,
but I figured if
I'm up, so are you.
See, I got this problem.
It's my brother, Willis.
He left 'cause he's mad
at me, and, well, I miss him,
even if he hits me with pillows
and makes my life miserable.
I promise, if you send him back,
that he can have the whole place.
I mean, I don't need
that much room.
I can sleep in a drawer.
So please send him back to me.
And if there's ever a
favor I can do for you,
just let me know.
Amen. Ten-four.
Over and out.
Good night.
[Sighs] Arnold,
what are you doing?
Makin' out my last
will and "tenement."
Just in case you
get out and I don't,
I'm leavin' all my worldly
possessions to you.
Oh, Arnold, I don't want your
worldly possessions. You'll get out.
Good. Then you can
leave all your stuff to me.
[Rattling] Hey, somebody's here!
Yeah, us.
No, I mean I hear
somebody out there.
Dad! There they are!
Oh, thank God you're
safe. We were worried sick!
Dad! Hey, that's wonderful!
We were sick in here. I don't
wanna stop all this huggin' and kissin',
but do you happen to have a
corned beef sandwich on you?
That was an adventure.
I loved it, man.
I liked the lady that rides
the horses. Me too. I loved it.
Whoosh! Whoosh! Whoosh!
You know, Arnold, I have
never seen you eat so much.
Yeah, you ate more
peanuts than the elephants.
Okay, gang, let's
all hit the sack.
It's been a very long day,
especially for you two guys.
And listen, from now on, don't ever go to
that storage room without telling someone.
Oh, never again,
Dad. Oh, we won't.
Good night, Daddy. Good night.
Good night, Dad. Oh, and
hold it. Wait a minute, gang.
I want to thank you for a
wonderful Valentine's Day.
And for that very special
card. I was really touched.
The touched comes later when
we discuss raising our allowance.
♪ Now the world don't move
to the beat of just one drum ♪
♪ What might be right for
you may not be right for some ♪
♪ A man is born He's
a man of means ♪
♪ Then along come two They
got nothin' but their jeans ♪
♪ But they got
diff'rent strokes ♪
♪ It takes diff'rent strokes ♪
♪ It takes diff'rent strokes to
move the world Yes, it does ♪
♪ It takes diff'rent strokes
to move the world ♪
♪ Mmm ♪♪
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to the beat of just one drum ♪
♪ What might be right for
you may not be right for some ♪
♪ A man is born He's
a man of means ♪
♪ Then along come two They
got nothin' but their jeans ♪
♪ But they got
diff'rent strokes ♪
♪ It takes diff'rent strokes ♪
♪ It takes diff'rent strokes
to move the world ♪
♪ Everybody's got a
special kind of story ♪
♪ Everybody finds
a way to shine ♪
♪ It don't matter that you
got not a lot, so what ♪
♪ They'll have theirs and you'll
have yours and I'll have mine ♪
♪ And together we'll
be fine 'cause it takes ♪
♪ Diff'rent strokes to move
the world Yes, it does ♪
♪ It takes diff'rent strokes
to move the world ♪♪
- [Knocking]
- Good morning, boys.
Oh, good morning,
Dad. Good morning, Dad.
I'm leaving for the
office. I'll see you later.
Wait a minute, Dad.
We gotta talk to you.
We got a surprise for you.
Kimberly's in the bathroom.
That's no surprise. She's been
using the bathroom for years.
No, I mean she's
in on the surprise.
Kimberly, Dad's here!
Oh, good morning, Daddy.
Good morning, sweetheart.
Uh, Dad, this is from all of
us for you for Valentine's Day.
Oh, hey, what a nice
thing for you to do.
Read the poem on
the card inside, Dad.
The three of us
made it up. Mm-hmm.
Okay. [Clears Throat]
"To a terrific dad and
a very good friend:
"Our love for you
will never end.
"You're handsome and
your smile is winning,
"and we don't care if
your hair is thinning.
There is no one who is finer,
so will you be our valentiner."
Oh, I love all of you.
That's beautiful.
I am the luckiest dad in the world
to have three such wonderful kids.
I remember a time when I
wasn't so wonderful, Dad...
When the Y.M.C.A. had
that father and son contest,
and I played that
dirty trick on you.
Hey, let's get goin', James.
This is my dad.
Uh, Willis,
I thought the Incredible
Hulk was green.
What did I do? Did you
see the size of his father?
Did I see him? This whole
room was one big T-shirt.
What am I gonna do, Arnold?
I've just gotta beat that James.
Hey, wait a minute.
Didn't Larry just say
he didn't have a son?
So? So he's got one now.
Twenty-five, 26,
27, 28,
29, 30.
Whew. Okay, Willis, that's it.
Whew. Okay, Willis, that's it.
[Blows Whistle]
I thought I heard voices in
here. Are you two guys okay?
Well, one of us isn't.
He's done something
that he's ashamed of.
And it ain't the
occupant of the top bunk.
Well, tell me.
What is it, Willis?
Dad, I lied to you.
The father and son
contest wasn't canceled.
I got somebody else
to be my partner...
'cause I thought I'd have
a better chance of winning.
Man, I almost made a big
mistake, didn't I? I was really dumb.
Well, I don't like
to insult you, Willis,
but when you're
right, you're right.
Hey, gang, I think
I better get going.
Hey, well, wait, Daddy. The valentine
card's not all. We're also taking you out.
Yeah, and paying
for it ourselves.
To a place you're just
dying to go. Where's that?
- The circus.
- Oh, swell.
I was afraid it was
going to be something I
didn't want to do, like
dinner and a good play.
That's terrific, guys.
See you after school.
Bye-bye, Daddy.
Have a good day. Bye.
I know just what I'm
gonna wear to the circus.
Forget it. They got
enough clowns already.
No, I'm talking about
my Superman outfit.
Then I can fly like
those acrobats.
Hey, it's not here!
Hey, maybe it's down
in the storage room.
Remember we packed away those Halloween
costumes and a bunch of other stuff?
Hey, yeah!
Hold this, Arnold.
[Grunts, Mutters]
Here you go. Thank you.
There.
Here's the bin
right here. All right.
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Willis, help me look.
Hmm? Oh, okay.
Hey, look what I found, Arnold.
You doll, Homer, that
you used to sleep with.
Me sleep with a doll?
Willis, you must have me mixed
up with some immature little kid.
Don't try to con
me, little brother.
Remember, I'm the one that
found out you slept with a doll.
Well, I didn't sleep with that
doll. You gave away my real one.
Dad had that one made up to
try to fool me so I'd sleep again.
How'd you know
this wasn't Homer?
Willis, when a guy sleeps with a
doll for eight years, he gets to know.
They never learn to lock doors.
Ah, here it is, Willis.
All right, Arnold. Come on. We
don't wanna be late for school.
Oh, we won't be. Get on
my back, and I'll fly us there.
Whoosh.
Whoosh, whoosh.
Come on, Arnold.
Let's get going.
Come on. We don't wanna
be late. All right. [Grunts]
Hey, the door's stuck!
Step aside, ordinary human.
This is a job for Super Arnold!
Watch this.
Super Arnold better stop,
or he'll bust a super gut.
I got news for you, Arnold.
We're locked in here.
What you talkin' about, Willis?
Man, this is awful!
We'll miss school.
Well, I'll get over that.
What about the circus?
Hey! Hey, you turkeys!
We're locked in here!
Arnold, easy.
Oh, man, we'll never
get out. I'm scared, Willis.
There's no reason to be.
We'll be fine. They'll
come get us soon.
It's kinda like when you
had your appendix out.
You were scared, but
everything worked out okay.
And you even met that
foxy little Alice. Remember?
What's the matter
with you, Arnold?
Oh, I have this
dumb pain in my side.
I've got one in my throat.
They're probably gonna
take my tonsils out.
What are they gonna
take out of you?
Nothin'. I'm leavin' this doctor's
office with all my original equipment.
Well, there's nothing to
be afraid of, Arnold. I'm not.
You mean to tell me you're
not scared of a doctor...
stickin' a knife this
big in your mouth...
and rippin' your throat
out and throwin' it away?
Oh, Arnold, doctors
aren't like that.
Sure they are. Don't
you go to the movies?
Didn't you see that one
about that crazy doctor? Uh-uh.
He gets you on
the operating table,
and while you scream
he cuts you up...
and sells parts of
you all over town.
Oh, Arnold, doctors don't
do that. They're very nice.
Then how come they wear masks?
That's so you won't know
which ones are crazy.
Space Station calling
Rocket Ship Arnold.
This is Space Station
calling Rocket Ship Arnold.
Where are you?
This is Rocket Ship Arnold.
I'm about to land on the moon.
I am lowering my flaps.
And I've just
landed on the moon.
Go ahead, Rocket Ship Arnold. Say
something famous to the whole wide world.
Okay. One small
step for Arnold...
is the best I can
do for mankind.
Did everybody hear that?
[Woman On Speaker]
Yes, including your nurse.
Would the moon people
please knock it off,
of you're gonna be invaded
by the enema people.
Uh, this is the moon people
quittin' while they're ahead.
You're not gonna be in this room with
Alice. She's moving to another room.
- No, I'm not!
- Course you're not!
Yes, she is, and
that's the truth.
But why am I moving?
Alice, Arnold and
me have always said...
say it like it is, right?
Right. Go ahead and say it.
Alice, your father is
movin' you out 'cause...
'cause Arnold's black.
We feel so safe here.
Don't we, Penelope?
Penelope? She's here?
Uh-huh. Oh, long
time no see, Penelope.
She came to see the palace.
- Uh, palace?
- Uh-huh.
If you can be on the
moon, I can be in a palace.
That's fair enough.
It makes sense.
Okay, here we are.
We're in Alice's palace.
How do you like that, Penelope?
- She just left.
- She's hard to keep track of.
She left because she's afraid of the
wicked king who lives in the palace.
He's a bad dude, huh?
Oh, terrible. He doesn't
live with his queen,
and he has a golden-haired
daughter who's very sad.
- What's her problem?
- Her father won't
let her play...
with her best friend
because he's different.
- How is he different?
- He's green.
That's what I call different.
The wicked king
banishes him into the cave,
so go to the cave, Arnold,
'cause you're the green boy.
I am?
Okay.
[Muttering]
Wait a minute. Any
dragons in this cave?
- It doesn't matter.
- It does to the green boy.
No, it doesn't, 'cause look.
The wicked king has fallen off from
his horse and has landed on his head.
Yuck. What a mess.
He'll probably
need an operation.
You're the only one
who can save him.
Okay, I'll operate.
Will the purple nurse and the
plaid nurse and the red nurse...
please put this
guy on the table.
And just in case he needs the
last rites, send in the blue nun.
I'll be your assistant, Arnold.
Hmm. Looks like he
needs a brain transplant.
Hand me the carving
knife. Thank you.
Here we go. Out with the old.
Uh, slip me a
brain out of that jar.
Here, this brain will
make you kind and loving.
He can use it.
Zip him up.
[Gasps] Look!
The king is smiling.
Oh, and did you
hear what he said?
I didn't see him smile.
He says you'll marry his queen,
and everyone in the kingdom can be
friends, no matter what color they are.
You were okay then, and you're
gonna be okay this time, Arnold.
No, I'll never see Alice again, 'cause
they're never gonna find us, Willis,
- We're gonna die down here.
- Course they'll find us,
Arnold.
There's nothing to
be afraid of. Trust me.
We're gonna get
out. So calm down.
All right, Willis.
I'm calm. Okay.
Help! Help! Somebody
find us! Anybody find us!
Open this door! Help!
Easy, Arnold.
Easy. We'll be okay.
You're not gonna die, Arnold.
Believe me. Your number's not up.
But I'm with you.
What if your number is?
Willis, it's almost 5:00. We've
been down here for eight hours.
Well, I'm sure Dad's been looking
for us, and he'll be here soon.
When? I'm starving.
My stomach's so empty that
when it growls, I get an echo.
Are the boys upstairs getting
dressed to go to the circus?
No, they're not home
from school yet. Not yet?
It's not like Arnold
to be late for a circus.
[Phone Rings] [Mutters]
Hello? Oh, hello, Louis.
No, Arnold's not here.
No, he's not sick. Why?
What do you mean,
he didn't go to school?
All right, I'll tell him
you called, Louis.
Arnold didn't go
to school today?
And if Willis isn't home yet, it means
he probably didn't go to school either.
- They must be together.
- But where? What could've
happened to them?
You speak to the doorman.
Maybe he's seen them.
I'm gonna call the hospitals
and the police. Okay.
Hey, anybody!
We're in here! Hey!
Ah, it's no use, Willis.
We're gonna die down here.
My whole life and a Big Mac
just passed in front of my eyes.
Arnold, pull yourself together.
So you haven't eaten for a while.
Hey, I've got an idea.
Arnold, what are you doing?
If Charlie Chaplin can
eat his shoe, so can I.
I can't do it.
I love junk food, but I
gotta pass on sneakers.
Look, Arnold, I know you're hungry
and scared, but I'm your big brother.
Haven't I always
taken care of you?
Yeah, but this
time it's different.
No, it's not, Arnold.
We'll get out of this.
Even if we don't, Willis,
at least we're together.
And besides, I've led a full
life. I even met the champ.
You sure did.
But I had to trick him into coming over
by telling him that you were very sick.
Come in, Champ.
He's awfully weak, Champ.
[Arnold Groaning]
Hi there, Arnold.
Who's that? It's
me... the champ.
Joe Louis?
This kid's delirious.
No, it's me... Muhammad Ali.
You'll have to speak louder.
I can't hear you over
those golden harps.
Golden harps?
Oh, this kid's in trouble. Did
you all find out what he's got?
- It's a rare tropical disease.
- When was he in the tropics?
He wasn't. That's
what makes it so rare.
Say what?
- Champ?
- Yeah?
Could I ask a favor while I've
still got breath in my little lungs?
Yeah. What is it? Could you
autograph a picture for me?
Be glad to. Here's a pen.
Boy, you got quicker
hands than me.
Well, I'm glad I got my
picture all ready for you.
Now, what do you want me to say?
To my best friend, Arnold.
"To my best friend, Arnold."
Who I've always liked
to have dinner with.
[Laughing] "Who I've always
liked to have dinner with."
And who I'm teachin' to whoop guys
like the Gooch so they won't pick on him.
Okay, wait a second.
Because Arnold will give 'em a left
and a right and a shot in the nose...
and an uppercut and a
bam, wham, slam, wham!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
For a little guy who's supposed to
be dyin', you sure got a lot of energy.
Oh. Oh, well, it comes
and goes. It just went.
Yeah, I owe meeting
the champ to you, Willis.
You've been the greatest
brother a guy ever had.
You too, Arnold.
No, like I was real dumb that time I
thought you were trying to steal my woman.
I only did it to
teach you a lesson.
I know, but at the time I thought
you really dug her. Remember?
Hi there.
Willis always
dresses for dinner.
Will you two excuse me, please?
Ooh, Willis! That outfit is bad!
Just some old threads
I had layin' around.
They blow me away.
Well, don't blow away. I
ain't through yet, mama.
I brought you a new record
called The Slipped Discos.
Thank you, little mama.
Hey, hey. What do
ya say, big mama?
Hi, Arnold. Willis, would you please
show me that terrific backflip again?
Anything for you, sweet stuff.
Hey, hey. I brought you
a present, sugar face.
Go ahead, Willis.
Hold this, little mama.
That's fantastic.
Yeah, well, you know, I get
bored walkin' the regular way.
Thank you, little mama.
Hey, Lurleen, that candy cost
me three weeks' allowance.
I was gonna buy a
Buck Rogers thermos,
but I, uh, blew
it on you instead.
Thanks, Arnold. Hah!
Now, open your mouth
and close your eyes.
- Open wide.
- I can't open any wider.
- Want another?
- I didn't taste the first one.
But, Lurleen, don't you wanna
give me some candy too?
Yes, Arnold. Help yourself.
Come on, Lurleen. We got
some fancy dancin' to do.
Okay.
♪♪ [Disco]
You're too much, Willis.
Aw, he can't dance. Move.
I'll show you some dancin'.
She was just usin' me to meet
you, Willis. I sure was fooled.
I was just putty in the hands
of an experienced woman.
Well, it won't happen again, Arnold,
'cause now you're an experienced man.
Yeah, you can write
that on my tombstone:
"Here lies an
experienced dead man."
I'll be right here, officer. Please, call
me the minute you know something.
Daddy, the doorman
said that he hadn't even
seen Willis and Arnold
leave the building.
I don't understand that.
If they didn't leave the
building, where could they be?
Did they say anything
strange to you this morning?
No stranger than usual.
I was in the bathroom,
and Arnold yelled in and asked if I
knew where his Superman outfit was.
Why would he ask about
his Superman outfit?
[Tapping]
Willis, when we go to heaven, do
you think we can share the same room?
Arnold, we're not
going to heaven.
Well, maybe we could share
the same room wherever we go.
I better do some heavy
prayin'. Maybe God'll hear me...
like he did that time
you were mad at me,
and you didn't wanna
to live with me anymore.
Can you hear me up there, God?
It's me... Arnold Jackson.
The little kid on Park Avenue.
Well, I know it's kinda late,
but I figured if
I'm up, so are you.
See, I got this problem.
It's my brother, Willis.
He left 'cause he's mad
at me, and, well, I miss him,
even if he hits me with pillows
and makes my life miserable.
I promise, if you send him back,
that he can have the whole place.
I mean, I don't need
that much room.
I can sleep in a drawer.
So please send him back to me.
And if there's ever a
favor I can do for you,
just let me know.
Amen. Ten-four.
Over and out.
Good night.
[Sighs] Arnold,
what are you doing?
Makin' out my last
will and "tenement."
Just in case you
get out and I don't,
I'm leavin' all my worldly
possessions to you.
Oh, Arnold, I don't want your
worldly possessions. You'll get out.
Good. Then you can
leave all your stuff to me.
[Rattling] Hey, somebody's here!
Yeah, us.
No, I mean I hear
somebody out there.
Dad! There they are!
Oh, thank God you're
safe. We were worried sick!
Dad! Hey, that's wonderful!
We were sick in here. I don't
wanna stop all this huggin' and kissin',
but do you happen to have a
corned beef sandwich on you?
That was an adventure.
I loved it, man.
I liked the lady that rides
the horses. Me too. I loved it.
Whoosh! Whoosh! Whoosh!
You know, Arnold, I have
never seen you eat so much.
Yeah, you ate more
peanuts than the elephants.
Okay, gang, let's
all hit the sack.
It's been a very long day,
especially for you two guys.
And listen, from now on, don't ever go to
that storage room without telling someone.
Oh, never again,
Dad. Oh, we won't.
Good night, Daddy. Good night.
Good night, Dad. Oh, and
hold it. Wait a minute, gang.
I want to thank you for a
wonderful Valentine's Day.
And for that very special
card. I was really touched.
The touched comes later when
we discuss raising our allowance.
♪ Now the world don't move
to the beat of just one drum ♪
♪ What might be right for
you may not be right for some ♪
♪ A man is born He's
a man of means ♪
♪ Then along come two They
got nothin' but their jeans ♪
♪ But they got
diff'rent strokes ♪
♪ It takes diff'rent strokes ♪
♪ It takes diff'rent strokes to
move the world Yes, it does ♪
♪ It takes diff'rent strokes
to move the world ♪
♪ Mmm ♪♪
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