Diff'rent Strokes (1978–1986): Season 1, Episode 15 - The New Landlord - full transcript
The Drummonds may have to move when the new landlord enforces a rule forbidding children Arnold's age from living there.
♪ Now the world don't move
to the beat of just one drum
♪ What might be right for
you may not be right for some
♪ A man is born
he's a man of means
♪ Then along come two
♪ They got nothin'
but their jeans
♪ But they got Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world
♪ Everybody's got
a special kind of story
♪ Everybody finds a way to shine
♪ It don't matter that you got
♪ Not a lot, so what?
♪ They'll have
theirs you'll have yours
♪ And I'll have mine
♪ And together we'll be fine
♪ 'Cause it takes
♪ Diff'rent Strokes to
move the world, yes, it does
♪ It takes Diff'rent Strokes
to move the world! ♪
Arnold, how come your
eggs are sunny-side up?
You always like to
have them scrambled.
Mrs. Garrett forgot, but I
can still have them scrambled.
All I gotta do is this.
Okay. Okay. They're
scrambled now.
By the way, this note came
under the door this morning.
Oh, thank you. Who's
that from, Daddy?
This is a letter from the people
that own this apartment building.
They've sold it and it's now
under new management.
Uh-oh. Bad news.
Why is that bad news?
Where we used to live,
"Under new management"
meant the building's falling down,
but the rent's going up.
You know, this really bugs me.
They promised me that if they ever sold
it, I'd have first shot at this building.
Why would you want
to shoot a building?
No, honey, what it means
is we might have to move.
Right, Mr. Drummond?
No. According to this letter, the
new landlord will honor all leases.
I'm looking forward
to meeting him.
Me and Willis never
met our landlord.
Once a month, our mama
would hold a check up to the door,
and a hand would
reach in and grab it.
I had a landlord once,
who was such a cheapskate,
his idea of redecorating was putting
a new light bulb in the refrigerator.
Well, hey, not all
landlords are bad.
Daddy's company owns
a few shopping centers,
and he's the nicest, most
considerate landlord in the whole world.
Kimberly, you didn't
have to say that.
Even if every
word of it is true.
That's right. Our landlord gives
us our allowance right on time.
And I spend it right on time.
Hey, look at the time.
If you'll excuse me, I have
to go and evict a tenant.
Yes. No, no, no, no, really.
I'll see you later, gang.
I have an appointment.
Bye-bye. Bye.
Have a nice day. Thank you.
Have a good day.
I think I'll watch his limousine pull
out of the garage on my telescope.
Are you gonna watch that or the
doorman flirting with the lady cab drivers?
I'll watch whoever starts first.
Chuckie, I'm lonely.
What you doin'?
Just a minute, Barbie.
I've got to give these plants
some tender, loving care.
I know someone else who needs
some tender, loving care, Chuckie-poo.
You animal.
Who are you? What are you doing
there? What are you laughing at?
Oh, my name is Arnold, and I
was just laughing at something
that I was looking at
through my telescope.
Oh, yeah? What?
The doorman
kissing a cab driver.
This city is so depraved.
How old are you? Eight.
Eight? You can't
live in this building.
I can, too.
No, you can't.
I can, too.
Mrs. Garrett. Mrs. Garrett.
Kimberly! Willis! Mrs. Garrett!
What? What is it?
What's the matter, Arnold?
Mrs. Garrett, there's this ugly head that
looked like it had no body, and it said...
A person can't have
a head with no body.
Sure they can.
I heard the elevator operator say he dated
a girl with a great face, but no body.
Now, really, Willis.
But I mean it, Mrs. Garrett. And
the head said I can't live here.
What do you mean
you can't live here?
Don't open it. It
might be the head.
Don't worry, Arnold.
If it's just a head,
I'll stick my thumb in its ear
and roll it away like a bowling ball.
Is this the Drummond apartment?
Yes.
May I speak to
Mr. Drummond, please?
Oh, Mr. Drummond's
not home just now.
I'm Mr. Sutton, the new
owner of the building.
I'm living temporarily in
the apartment next door.
My card, Mrs. Drummond.
Oh, I'm Mrs. Garrett,
the housekeeper.
Housekeeper, huh? These
things cost money, you know.
And who are these children?
Mr. Drummond's. Why?
How old are they?
Why do you ask?
The leases here don't allow
pre-teen children to live in the building.
If I had my way, there wouldn't
be any children living anywhere.
You have an eight-year-old here
named Arnold, so you'll have to move.
Move? WILLIS: Move?
Unless you want to send
Arnold to camp for five years.
Oh, Mr. Sutton, you
were a child once.
No, I skipped childhood.
I went right from
birth to landlord.
Now, where is
this little Arnold?
Arnold?
Oh, you mean cousin Arnold.
He's only visiting here. Right, kids?
He's just our cousin.
He doesn't live here.
Now, who are these
two and how old are they?
Well, I'm Willis and I'm 13.
I'm Kimberly and I'm 14.
Oh, yes, I heard
about this family.
I heard that Mr. Drummond
has three children.
Three? Three.
Oh, sure. There's
Arthur. He's the oldest.
How old is Arthur? He's 15.
And where is Arthur?
Who?
Oh, Arthur.
Where's Arthur? Where's Arthur?
He's not here. He went out.
Yeah. He's at baseball practice.
He's a shortstop.
Shortstop?
I'd like to see him for myself.
Goodness, you're suspicious.
Don't you trust people?
I did, till I was
three years old.
My parents moved to Cleveland
and didn't bother to tell me.
I'll see you again at 2:00.
And if I don't see
little Arthur here,
I'm gonna hand this whole
thing over to my lawyers.
See you at 2:00.
You'll certainly be welcome.
Any landlord of Mr. Drummond's
is a landlord of mine.
Oh.
Now, that was fast
thinking, Mrs. Garrett.
Sure was.
Oh, yeah? How am I gonna
age seven years by 2:00?
It's easy. I just aged
10 years in two minutes.
Oh, please, forgive me. I
didn't know what else to say.
I figured I'd stall him
until your dad came home.
Oh, I'll have to rest
now. I'm allergic to lying.
It's stuffing up my sinuses. Oh!
Would you really have to
move all on account of me?
Gee, I hope not.
Daddy would be crushed. He lived
here with mother before she died.
Maybe when Mr. D gets home from work
he can get Mr. Sutton to change his mind.
Are you kidding? You heard
the man. He hates children.
Yeah. If he lived
on Sesame Street,
Big Bird would wind
up in a frying pan.
What are we gonna do?
Look, it's all my fault.
I'll just go over to that landlord
and throw myself on his mercy.
He doesn't have any.
I'll get him some.
And then I'll hit him with
something he can't resist.
What's that?
My sure-fire sad face.
You do that, the man's
gonna throw a net on you.
Well, look, when Mr. D gets
home, we'll tell him what happened,
and maybe he can make
up some kind of story.
No, forget it. You can't trust
Daddy, he always tells the truth.
But I know we've
got to do something.
You heard what Mr. Sutton
said about his lawyers.
Hey, now, we don't mess with
no lawyers. We'll wind up in jail.
With my luck, even jail
won't take kids my age.
I got an idea how
to stall Mr. Sutton.
And if it works, maybe he
won't even bother with Mr. D.
What is it?
Cousin Arnold, you're about to
become my big brother Arthur.
What you talkin' about, Willis?
Can you guys
hurry up? It's 2:00.
Just wait, we will be out there.
Yeah.
Wow. You look terrific, Arnold.
Don't forget, he's Arthur now.
Well, okay. Are you
okay on those stilts?
If this is what they mean by getting
high, I don't want to be no part of it.
Just don't think about it.
That's hard to do when your knees
are shakin' and they ain't even yours.
Just try to walk natural.
Listen, the best thing for you
to do is to stand in one place.
I can't do that.
You should've got me a pair
of stilts with training wheels.
Hang in there. Just
don't try no disco dancing.
Hey, you get the
door, I'll hold him up.
Okay. I hope Daddy doesn't
find out about this one.
Oh, hi, Mr. Sutton.
Hello.
Come in.
Well, yes, you know Willis, and this
is my 15-year-old big brother, Arthur.
Arthur, huh? KIMBERLY: Yeah.
He doesn't look 15 to me.
I'm 15 if I'm an inch.
You look like the kid
I saw on the terrace.
Who, me? I don't look
like that little shrimp.
How come he walks so strange?
He's a strange kid.
Arthur hurt his leg in baseball
practice. Didn't you, Arthur?
Oh, yeah, but it's not too
serious. I set the bone myself.
If you'll excuse us now, Arthur has
to go soak his stilts. I mean, shins.
Now, what was that?
Bye-bye, Mr. Sutton.
Thanks for dropping by.
Who do you think you're kidding?
You're not gonna
get rid of me that easy.
I want to see Arnold and
Arthur in the same room.
That's impossible.
Why?
Because Arnold went home.
Where does he live?
Brooklyn. Bronx.
How's that again?
Bronx. Brooklyn.
How can he live in the Bronx
and Brooklyn at the same time?
He uses a skateboard.
Right.
Well, bye-bye, Mr. Sutton.
Have a good day.
Have a good day. It was
very nice meeting you.
Oh, well, I had a
real good rest and I...
Hi, Mrs. Garrett.
Oh, I'll get it, Mrs. Garrett.
Who was it?
Why did you do that?
I didn't know it was you.
Oh?
You want me to show
you my driver's license?
Well, I really didn't
expect you home so early.
I thought it was
a plant salesman.
Oh.
Hi, Willis. Hi, Arnold. - Hi.
Oh, who are you? I'm
Mr. Sutton, your new landlord.
Hi. I'm... Arnold.
Don't tell me you're
cousin Arnold, too?
What are you kids up to?
Well, Daddy, we're just playing
with our big brother, Arthur.
That's right, 'cause
cousin Arnold ain't around.
Who ain't around? Here.
What's this?
I'm breaking in a new
pair of elevator shoes.
Now, what is going on here?
I'll tell you what's
going on, Drummond.
Your lease does not allow an eight-year-old
child to live in this building.
What are you talking about?
I'm talking about if you're not
out by the end of the month,
I'm going to evict you.
Evict us?
No place to live at my age.
There ought to be an old
folks' home for eight-year-olds.
Mr. Sutton, I can't believe you're
serious about evicting my family.
That's what a lot
of my tenants say
when they find themselves with
their furniture out on the sidewalk.
And always at
Christmas time, right?
Oh, that's low, Drummond. Low.
True, but low.
Look, Mr. Sutton, if pre-teenage
children aren't permitted in this building,
how come the old
landlord didn't object?
Oh, he was one
of those nice guys.
He didn't deserve
the name "landlord."
I just don't understand.
What've you got
against little children?
I get more rent without them.
And children make
noise. Their toys are noisy.
Even their cereals make noise.
Not ours.
Our cereals don't
snap, crackle, and pop.
Ours just lie there and go...
Shh.
Cute, very cute. That's another
thing. Kids spread germs.
I wouldn't worry if I were you.
No self-respecting
germ would go near you.
Sticks and stones, Drummond.
What's more, children are
untidy. They're messier than dogs.
Well, I'll just have Willis
follow me around with a shovel.
This is just ridiculous. I'll go
and get my copy of the lease,
and I'll find out just
what my rights are.
Do that, Drummond. Do it.
Say, aren't there a lot of lights
burning this early in this apartment?
I mean, I do pay the utility bills, you
know. Why not have a candlelight dinner?
Thanks, you're not my type.
I happen to be a married man.
My condolences to your wife.
How can you even consider
evicting this sweet little boy?
Just look at that face.
And that laughing mouth.
And those adorable,
chubby little cheeks.
Yeah. And don't forget
my twinkling eyes.
I'm not impressed. When I was a
kid, I used to boo Shirley Temple.
All right. Now we will go through this
lease and find out exactly where I stand.
Uh-huh.
Here it is.
Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.
No pre-teenagers, right?
Mmm-hmm.
We are in trouble.
Clause 12-E, my favorite clause.
Gosh, I love the real estate business.
Mr. Sutton, if you
owned the North Pole,
Santa Claus would
be out on his ice.
You don't like me, do you?
Well, guess what? I don't care.
When I want love,
I go to the bank.
Well, gang, I don't
approve of your prank,
but thank you for doing
it. I know why you did it.
It looks like we're gonna have to
find ourselves a new place to live.
Oh, man.
That's no fair. Can't do that.
Mr. Drummond, how about Alaska?
And if the landlord
objects to kids,
maybe we can pass
Arnold off as a penguin.
You know, sometimes I
think it would be a better world
if they left the buildings standing
and tore down some of the landlords.
See, Mr. Drummond,
it's all my fault
that you have to leave
this beautiful apartment.
Now, Arnold, you're much more
important than any apartment.
I'd run away if you'll
let me cross the street.
It's true I have a lot of memories
here. And this place is important to me.
But times change and I guess
you just have to change with them.
We'll find another place every bit as
nice as this. Won't we, Mrs. Garrett?
Every bit.
But it won't mean as
much to you as this one.
Oh, come on. Look, we've got
our health. We've got each other.
In fact, I'd say we've
got just about everything.
Yeah, everything but
a forwarding address.
Come on, kids. I've seen
happier faces in a can of sardines.
This is the last soda we'll ever
slurp and the last corn we'll ever pop.
Oh, Arnold, we'll just do
it in another apartment.
It just ain't the same slurpin'
and poppin' in a strange place.
Hello, family. Hi, Mr. Drummond.
Hi, Daddy. Hello.
Any luck finding an apartment?
I'm afraid not. Oh, dear.
Well, the broker
thought he had a place.
The advertisement said, "Conveniently
located near transportation."
That meant that if you swam across
the Hudson, you could catch a subway.
Have you seen what's
in the Hudson River?
You can walk across it.
Excuse me, they're
playing my song.
Good afternoon.
You wanna bet?
This is my wife.
Pleased to meet you.
Congratulations. I didn't
expect anyone human.
I wish you'd try to behave
like a lady, Mrs. Garrett.
I always behave like a lady.
If you have any doubt, we can
settle it down in the parking lot.
What is it this time, Sutton?
Oh, hello, Drummond.
This is my wife. She's
arrived from Chicago.
Hello. She's an
interior decorator.
She wants to look at this
apartment for the new tenants.
Well, it's not
convenient right now.
Drummond, just because I'm evicting
you doesn't mean we can't be friends.
Oh, sure, and every
year we can have a party
celebrating the
anniversary of our eviction.
Hey, Mr. Drummond, we're
going down to the park to...
Oh, it's you.
Return of the werewolf.
Is that Arnold, the
illegal squatter?
This is my son,
Arnold, Mrs. Sutton.
Mrs. Sutton?
You mean to tell me you
still live with your mother?
I beg your pardon.
I'll have you know
this lady is my wife.
Oh, well, I guess
that was your daughter
I saw kissing you out
on the terrace yesterday.
We don't have a daughter, do we?
Oh, well. Anyway,
she sure was pretty.
Emily, the boy doesn't
know what he's talking about.
I don't know any pretty ladies.
Except for you, of course.
Sure, you do.
Don't you remember she
called you "Chuckie-poo"?
And she had that crazy laugh.
That one? You said she died.
Emily, the boy
is obviously lying.
Now, hold it right
there, Chuckie-poo.
My son is not lying.
If Arnold says a lady kissed you on
your terrace, that's where she kissed you.
Now, Drummond, you know
children often have active imaginations.
So do adults. I'm
calling my lawyer.
Now wait a minute, Emily.
The boy said he saw
what he didn't see.
He obviously has bad eyesight.
He does not.
Of course he does. Here.
Tell me what's on the
cover of this magazine.
No.
Arnold, go ahead. He's
asking for it, give it to him.
What's on the cover
of this magazine?
A man in a gray suit carrying a brown
suitcase with the initials R.J. on it.
He has a grey hat
with a blue feather.
Lucky guess.
Bad eyesight, huh?
Oh, wait a minute, Emily. He's memorized
every magazine in this apartment.
I bet you can't read this.
"Laws to protect families who rent
have been enacted in several states.
"Michigan, New
York, New Jersey..."
He shouldn't be reading this.
What is that? Oh, nothing.
On top of it, it says, "Fair
housing for families with children."
Fool. Oh, you are such
a fool, Chuckie-poo.
Emily. Wait, Emily. EMILY: Fool.
Don't call me a fool
in front of the tenants.
Classy couple.
What's all the yelling about?
Yeah. What's going on in here?
Hey, I was just
going to call you.
Great news. We
don't have to move.
Yeah! All right! Yippee!
Why don't we have to move?
You know, what happened?
Well, Mr. Sutton
didn't tell us about a law
that says it's illegal to refuse to
rent to anybody because of age.
And that definitely
includes little cousin Arnold.
Not to mention
big brother Arthur.
Arnold, you saved the day.
All right. Yeah.
But there's still one
thing I don't understand.
If that lady I saw Mr. Sutton
kissin' on the terrace
wasn't his wife or his
daughter, then, who was she?
Well, we just
don't know, Arnold.
Well, I guess it was
just some kind of bimbo.
♪ Now the world don't move
to the beat of just one drum
♪ What might be right for
you may not be right for some
♪ A man is born
he's a man of means
♪ Then along come two
♪ They got nothin'
but their jeans
♪ But they got Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world
♪ Yes, it does It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world ♪
to the beat of just one drum
♪ What might be right for
you may not be right for some
♪ A man is born
he's a man of means
♪ Then along come two
♪ They got nothin'
but their jeans
♪ But they got Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world
♪ Everybody's got
a special kind of story
♪ Everybody finds a way to shine
♪ It don't matter that you got
♪ Not a lot, so what?
♪ They'll have
theirs you'll have yours
♪ And I'll have mine
♪ And together we'll be fine
♪ 'Cause it takes
♪ Diff'rent Strokes to
move the world, yes, it does
♪ It takes Diff'rent Strokes
to move the world! ♪
Arnold, how come your
eggs are sunny-side up?
You always like to
have them scrambled.
Mrs. Garrett forgot, but I
can still have them scrambled.
All I gotta do is this.
Okay. Okay. They're
scrambled now.
By the way, this note came
under the door this morning.
Oh, thank you. Who's
that from, Daddy?
This is a letter from the people
that own this apartment building.
They've sold it and it's now
under new management.
Uh-oh. Bad news.
Why is that bad news?
Where we used to live,
"Under new management"
meant the building's falling down,
but the rent's going up.
You know, this really bugs me.
They promised me that if they ever sold
it, I'd have first shot at this building.
Why would you want
to shoot a building?
No, honey, what it means
is we might have to move.
Right, Mr. Drummond?
No. According to this letter, the
new landlord will honor all leases.
I'm looking forward
to meeting him.
Me and Willis never
met our landlord.
Once a month, our mama
would hold a check up to the door,
and a hand would
reach in and grab it.
I had a landlord once,
who was such a cheapskate,
his idea of redecorating was putting
a new light bulb in the refrigerator.
Well, hey, not all
landlords are bad.
Daddy's company owns
a few shopping centers,
and he's the nicest, most
considerate landlord in the whole world.
Kimberly, you didn't
have to say that.
Even if every
word of it is true.
That's right. Our landlord gives
us our allowance right on time.
And I spend it right on time.
Hey, look at the time.
If you'll excuse me, I have
to go and evict a tenant.
Yes. No, no, no, no, really.
I'll see you later, gang.
I have an appointment.
Bye-bye. Bye.
Have a nice day. Thank you.
Have a good day.
I think I'll watch his limousine pull
out of the garage on my telescope.
Are you gonna watch that or the
doorman flirting with the lady cab drivers?
I'll watch whoever starts first.
Chuckie, I'm lonely.
What you doin'?
Just a minute, Barbie.
I've got to give these plants
some tender, loving care.
I know someone else who needs
some tender, loving care, Chuckie-poo.
You animal.
Who are you? What are you doing
there? What are you laughing at?
Oh, my name is Arnold, and I
was just laughing at something
that I was looking at
through my telescope.
Oh, yeah? What?
The doorman
kissing a cab driver.
This city is so depraved.
How old are you? Eight.
Eight? You can't
live in this building.
I can, too.
No, you can't.
I can, too.
Mrs. Garrett. Mrs. Garrett.
Kimberly! Willis! Mrs. Garrett!
What? What is it?
What's the matter, Arnold?
Mrs. Garrett, there's this ugly head that
looked like it had no body, and it said...
A person can't have
a head with no body.
Sure they can.
I heard the elevator operator say he dated
a girl with a great face, but no body.
Now, really, Willis.
But I mean it, Mrs. Garrett. And
the head said I can't live here.
What do you mean
you can't live here?
Don't open it. It
might be the head.
Don't worry, Arnold.
If it's just a head,
I'll stick my thumb in its ear
and roll it away like a bowling ball.
Is this the Drummond apartment?
Yes.
May I speak to
Mr. Drummond, please?
Oh, Mr. Drummond's
not home just now.
I'm Mr. Sutton, the new
owner of the building.
I'm living temporarily in
the apartment next door.
My card, Mrs. Drummond.
Oh, I'm Mrs. Garrett,
the housekeeper.
Housekeeper, huh? These
things cost money, you know.
And who are these children?
Mr. Drummond's. Why?
How old are they?
Why do you ask?
The leases here don't allow
pre-teen children to live in the building.
If I had my way, there wouldn't
be any children living anywhere.
You have an eight-year-old here
named Arnold, so you'll have to move.
Move? WILLIS: Move?
Unless you want to send
Arnold to camp for five years.
Oh, Mr. Sutton, you
were a child once.
No, I skipped childhood.
I went right from
birth to landlord.
Now, where is
this little Arnold?
Arnold?
Oh, you mean cousin Arnold.
He's only visiting here. Right, kids?
He's just our cousin.
He doesn't live here.
Now, who are these
two and how old are they?
Well, I'm Willis and I'm 13.
I'm Kimberly and I'm 14.
Oh, yes, I heard
about this family.
I heard that Mr. Drummond
has three children.
Three? Three.
Oh, sure. There's
Arthur. He's the oldest.
How old is Arthur? He's 15.
And where is Arthur?
Who?
Oh, Arthur.
Where's Arthur? Where's Arthur?
He's not here. He went out.
Yeah. He's at baseball practice.
He's a shortstop.
Shortstop?
I'd like to see him for myself.
Goodness, you're suspicious.
Don't you trust people?
I did, till I was
three years old.
My parents moved to Cleveland
and didn't bother to tell me.
I'll see you again at 2:00.
And if I don't see
little Arthur here,
I'm gonna hand this whole
thing over to my lawyers.
See you at 2:00.
You'll certainly be welcome.
Any landlord of Mr. Drummond's
is a landlord of mine.
Oh.
Now, that was fast
thinking, Mrs. Garrett.
Sure was.
Oh, yeah? How am I gonna
age seven years by 2:00?
It's easy. I just aged
10 years in two minutes.
Oh, please, forgive me. I
didn't know what else to say.
I figured I'd stall him
until your dad came home.
Oh, I'll have to rest
now. I'm allergic to lying.
It's stuffing up my sinuses. Oh!
Would you really have to
move all on account of me?
Gee, I hope not.
Daddy would be crushed. He lived
here with mother before she died.
Maybe when Mr. D gets home from work
he can get Mr. Sutton to change his mind.
Are you kidding? You heard
the man. He hates children.
Yeah. If he lived
on Sesame Street,
Big Bird would wind
up in a frying pan.
What are we gonna do?
Look, it's all my fault.
I'll just go over to that landlord
and throw myself on his mercy.
He doesn't have any.
I'll get him some.
And then I'll hit him with
something he can't resist.
What's that?
My sure-fire sad face.
You do that, the man's
gonna throw a net on you.
Well, look, when Mr. D gets
home, we'll tell him what happened,
and maybe he can make
up some kind of story.
No, forget it. You can't trust
Daddy, he always tells the truth.
But I know we've
got to do something.
You heard what Mr. Sutton
said about his lawyers.
Hey, now, we don't mess with
no lawyers. We'll wind up in jail.
With my luck, even jail
won't take kids my age.
I got an idea how
to stall Mr. Sutton.
And if it works, maybe he
won't even bother with Mr. D.
What is it?
Cousin Arnold, you're about to
become my big brother Arthur.
What you talkin' about, Willis?
Can you guys
hurry up? It's 2:00.
Just wait, we will be out there.
Yeah.
Wow. You look terrific, Arnold.
Don't forget, he's Arthur now.
Well, okay. Are you
okay on those stilts?
If this is what they mean by getting
high, I don't want to be no part of it.
Just don't think about it.
That's hard to do when your knees
are shakin' and they ain't even yours.
Just try to walk natural.
Listen, the best thing for you
to do is to stand in one place.
I can't do that.
You should've got me a pair
of stilts with training wheels.
Hang in there. Just
don't try no disco dancing.
Hey, you get the
door, I'll hold him up.
Okay. I hope Daddy doesn't
find out about this one.
Oh, hi, Mr. Sutton.
Hello.
Come in.
Well, yes, you know Willis, and this
is my 15-year-old big brother, Arthur.
Arthur, huh? KIMBERLY: Yeah.
He doesn't look 15 to me.
I'm 15 if I'm an inch.
You look like the kid
I saw on the terrace.
Who, me? I don't look
like that little shrimp.
How come he walks so strange?
He's a strange kid.
Arthur hurt his leg in baseball
practice. Didn't you, Arthur?
Oh, yeah, but it's not too
serious. I set the bone myself.
If you'll excuse us now, Arthur has
to go soak his stilts. I mean, shins.
Now, what was that?
Bye-bye, Mr. Sutton.
Thanks for dropping by.
Who do you think you're kidding?
You're not gonna
get rid of me that easy.
I want to see Arnold and
Arthur in the same room.
That's impossible.
Why?
Because Arnold went home.
Where does he live?
Brooklyn. Bronx.
How's that again?
Bronx. Brooklyn.
How can he live in the Bronx
and Brooklyn at the same time?
He uses a skateboard.
Right.
Well, bye-bye, Mr. Sutton.
Have a good day.
Have a good day. It was
very nice meeting you.
Oh, well, I had a
real good rest and I...
Hi, Mrs. Garrett.
Oh, I'll get it, Mrs. Garrett.
Who was it?
Why did you do that?
I didn't know it was you.
Oh?
You want me to show
you my driver's license?
Well, I really didn't
expect you home so early.
I thought it was
a plant salesman.
Oh.
Hi, Willis. Hi, Arnold. - Hi.
Oh, who are you? I'm
Mr. Sutton, your new landlord.
Hi. I'm... Arnold.
Don't tell me you're
cousin Arnold, too?
What are you kids up to?
Well, Daddy, we're just playing
with our big brother, Arthur.
That's right, 'cause
cousin Arnold ain't around.
Who ain't around? Here.
What's this?
I'm breaking in a new
pair of elevator shoes.
Now, what is going on here?
I'll tell you what's
going on, Drummond.
Your lease does not allow an eight-year-old
child to live in this building.
What are you talking about?
I'm talking about if you're not
out by the end of the month,
I'm going to evict you.
Evict us?
No place to live at my age.
There ought to be an old
folks' home for eight-year-olds.
Mr. Sutton, I can't believe you're
serious about evicting my family.
That's what a lot
of my tenants say
when they find themselves with
their furniture out on the sidewalk.
And always at
Christmas time, right?
Oh, that's low, Drummond. Low.
True, but low.
Look, Mr. Sutton, if pre-teenage
children aren't permitted in this building,
how come the old
landlord didn't object?
Oh, he was one
of those nice guys.
He didn't deserve
the name "landlord."
I just don't understand.
What've you got
against little children?
I get more rent without them.
And children make
noise. Their toys are noisy.
Even their cereals make noise.
Not ours.
Our cereals don't
snap, crackle, and pop.
Ours just lie there and go...
Shh.
Cute, very cute. That's another
thing. Kids spread germs.
I wouldn't worry if I were you.
No self-respecting
germ would go near you.
Sticks and stones, Drummond.
What's more, children are
untidy. They're messier than dogs.
Well, I'll just have Willis
follow me around with a shovel.
This is just ridiculous. I'll go
and get my copy of the lease,
and I'll find out just
what my rights are.
Do that, Drummond. Do it.
Say, aren't there a lot of lights
burning this early in this apartment?
I mean, I do pay the utility bills, you
know. Why not have a candlelight dinner?
Thanks, you're not my type.
I happen to be a married man.
My condolences to your wife.
How can you even consider
evicting this sweet little boy?
Just look at that face.
And that laughing mouth.
And those adorable,
chubby little cheeks.
Yeah. And don't forget
my twinkling eyes.
I'm not impressed. When I was a
kid, I used to boo Shirley Temple.
All right. Now we will go through this
lease and find out exactly where I stand.
Uh-huh.
Here it is.
Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.
No pre-teenagers, right?
Mmm-hmm.
We are in trouble.
Clause 12-E, my favorite clause.
Gosh, I love the real estate business.
Mr. Sutton, if you
owned the North Pole,
Santa Claus would
be out on his ice.
You don't like me, do you?
Well, guess what? I don't care.
When I want love,
I go to the bank.
Well, gang, I don't
approve of your prank,
but thank you for doing
it. I know why you did it.
It looks like we're gonna have to
find ourselves a new place to live.
Oh, man.
That's no fair. Can't do that.
Mr. Drummond, how about Alaska?
And if the landlord
objects to kids,
maybe we can pass
Arnold off as a penguin.
You know, sometimes I
think it would be a better world
if they left the buildings standing
and tore down some of the landlords.
See, Mr. Drummond,
it's all my fault
that you have to leave
this beautiful apartment.
Now, Arnold, you're much more
important than any apartment.
I'd run away if you'll
let me cross the street.
It's true I have a lot of memories
here. And this place is important to me.
But times change and I guess
you just have to change with them.
We'll find another place every bit as
nice as this. Won't we, Mrs. Garrett?
Every bit.
But it won't mean as
much to you as this one.
Oh, come on. Look, we've got
our health. We've got each other.
In fact, I'd say we've
got just about everything.
Yeah, everything but
a forwarding address.
Come on, kids. I've seen
happier faces in a can of sardines.
This is the last soda we'll ever
slurp and the last corn we'll ever pop.
Oh, Arnold, we'll just do
it in another apartment.
It just ain't the same slurpin'
and poppin' in a strange place.
Hello, family. Hi, Mr. Drummond.
Hi, Daddy. Hello.
Any luck finding an apartment?
I'm afraid not. Oh, dear.
Well, the broker
thought he had a place.
The advertisement said, "Conveniently
located near transportation."
That meant that if you swam across
the Hudson, you could catch a subway.
Have you seen what's
in the Hudson River?
You can walk across it.
Excuse me, they're
playing my song.
Good afternoon.
You wanna bet?
This is my wife.
Pleased to meet you.
Congratulations. I didn't
expect anyone human.
I wish you'd try to behave
like a lady, Mrs. Garrett.
I always behave like a lady.
If you have any doubt, we can
settle it down in the parking lot.
What is it this time, Sutton?
Oh, hello, Drummond.
This is my wife. She's
arrived from Chicago.
Hello. She's an
interior decorator.
She wants to look at this
apartment for the new tenants.
Well, it's not
convenient right now.
Drummond, just because I'm evicting
you doesn't mean we can't be friends.
Oh, sure, and every
year we can have a party
celebrating the
anniversary of our eviction.
Hey, Mr. Drummond, we're
going down to the park to...
Oh, it's you.
Return of the werewolf.
Is that Arnold, the
illegal squatter?
This is my son,
Arnold, Mrs. Sutton.
Mrs. Sutton?
You mean to tell me you
still live with your mother?
I beg your pardon.
I'll have you know
this lady is my wife.
Oh, well, I guess
that was your daughter
I saw kissing you out
on the terrace yesterday.
We don't have a daughter, do we?
Oh, well. Anyway,
she sure was pretty.
Emily, the boy doesn't
know what he's talking about.
I don't know any pretty ladies.
Except for you, of course.
Sure, you do.
Don't you remember she
called you "Chuckie-poo"?
And she had that crazy laugh.
That one? You said she died.
Emily, the boy
is obviously lying.
Now, hold it right
there, Chuckie-poo.
My son is not lying.
If Arnold says a lady kissed you on
your terrace, that's where she kissed you.
Now, Drummond, you know
children often have active imaginations.
So do adults. I'm
calling my lawyer.
Now wait a minute, Emily.
The boy said he saw
what he didn't see.
He obviously has bad eyesight.
He does not.
Of course he does. Here.
Tell me what's on the
cover of this magazine.
No.
Arnold, go ahead. He's
asking for it, give it to him.
What's on the cover
of this magazine?
A man in a gray suit carrying a brown
suitcase with the initials R.J. on it.
He has a grey hat
with a blue feather.
Lucky guess.
Bad eyesight, huh?
Oh, wait a minute, Emily. He's memorized
every magazine in this apartment.
I bet you can't read this.
"Laws to protect families who rent
have been enacted in several states.
"Michigan, New
York, New Jersey..."
He shouldn't be reading this.
What is that? Oh, nothing.
On top of it, it says, "Fair
housing for families with children."
Fool. Oh, you are such
a fool, Chuckie-poo.
Emily. Wait, Emily. EMILY: Fool.
Don't call me a fool
in front of the tenants.
Classy couple.
What's all the yelling about?
Yeah. What's going on in here?
Hey, I was just
going to call you.
Great news. We
don't have to move.
Yeah! All right! Yippee!
Why don't we have to move?
You know, what happened?
Well, Mr. Sutton
didn't tell us about a law
that says it's illegal to refuse to
rent to anybody because of age.
And that definitely
includes little cousin Arnold.
Not to mention
big brother Arthur.
Arnold, you saved the day.
All right. Yeah.
But there's still one
thing I don't understand.
If that lady I saw Mr. Sutton
kissin' on the terrace
wasn't his wife or his
daughter, then, who was she?
Well, we just
don't know, Arnold.
Well, I guess it was
just some kind of bimbo.
♪ Now the world don't move
to the beat of just one drum
♪ What might be right for
you may not be right for some
♪ A man is born
he's a man of means
♪ Then along come two
♪ They got nothin'
but their jeans
♪ But they got Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world
♪ Yes, it does It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world ♪