Diff'rent Strokes (1978–1986): Season 1, Episode 14 - The Tutor - full transcript
Willis is doing poorly in school, so Mr. Drummond hires a tutor. However, he is not pleased by his unconventional methods of teaching.
♪ Now the world don't move
to the beat of just one drum
♪ What might be right for
you may not be right for some
♪ A man is born
he's a man of means
♪ Then along come two
♪ They got nothin'
but their jeans
♪ But they got Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world
♪ Everybody's got
a special kind of story
♪ Everybody finds a way to shine
♪ It don't matter that you got
♪ Not a lot, so what?
♪ They'll have
theirs you'll have yours
♪ And I'll have mine
♪ And together we'll be fine
♪ 'Cause it takes
♪ Diff'rent Strokes to
move the world, yes, it does
♪ It takes Diff'rent Strokes
to move the world! ♪
What's so funny, Arnold?
There's this dude from
another planet with three heads.
Two of them can't sleep, and
they're keeping the other awake.
I wish I had three heads.
I'd send one to the beauty
parlor and one to the dentist,
and the other one would stay home
looking at pictures of John Travolta.
Look where you're going, Willis.
You just knocked
me in my Travolta.
Sorry, I gotta get to basketball
practice, Mrs. Garrett.
But, Willis, you shouldn't...
That's Captain Willis.
They just elected me
captain of the basketball team.
Oh!
Captain Willis!
That's right.
Maybe you can
get a girlfriend now.
Congratulations, captain. How
about a pit stop for your milk?
It slows me down when
I got all that milk in me.
Yeah. Have you seen
a cow shoot a basket?
That would be an
udder impossibility.
Hey, Willis, how'd you
do on your report card?
That's right.
Today's the big day.
How did you boys do?
How'd you do, Arnold?
I did good.
Not as good as I should, but better
than if I didn't do as good as I did.
Good, Arnold. Well,
what about you, Willis?
I got a D.
Oh!
Just one?
Just one in geography, just
one in history, just one in reading.
You mean to tell me you didn't
get an A in your best subject?
Which one is that?
Recess.
You got two teeth left,
you want to try for none?
I pass.
My first report card since I've
been here with Mr. Drummond,
and it's worse than
the one I got in Harlem.
Well, a new school and everything
new, I'm sure he'll understand.
Will he understand about
this letter my teacher sent him?
I wish I knew what was in it.
For your sake, I hope it's
an early Christmas card.
Hi, boys. Hi, Mr. Drummond.
Hi.
Don't worry, Willis.
Hey, Mr. D.
I guess I should
have a talk with you.
You know,
I guess you're too
busy, so forget it.
Yeah, you're too busy, and may I be
the first to wish you a merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas?
What's going on?
Hello, Daddy. Hi, sweetheart.
Hi, fellas. How'd you guys
do on your report cards?
Report cards?
Now I get it.
Willis.
I'd really like to see them.
Why don't you look at Kimberly's
first so you'll be in a good mood?
Sure. Here, Daddy. I did okay.
Yeah?
Yeah, very good work, Kimberly.
Thank you, Daddy.
Now let's see yours, fellas.
Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.
Not bad.
Hey.
How come you got a C in phys ed?
Because of the low hurdles.
What about them?
They weren't low enough.
Instead of jumping over
them, I ran under them.
The best way to make those
hurdles is to leap over them, it's all...
Willis.
Yes, Mr. Drummond?
Report card?
Oh, dear.
Oh, my.
Oh, for goodness sake.
How do you like it so far?
Willis, it's very disappointing.
You got three Ds.
At least it's consistent.
Well, a D ain't bad
when you think there's 22 more
letters in the alphabet that come after it.
I guess you might
as well see this, too.
Okay. Let's see what we've got.
Uh-oh!
Your teacher says until your grades
improve, you're off the basketball team.
Say what? That's not fair!
Ain't that a crock?
They can't do that to
me! I'm the team captain!
But the only way you're gonna get
back on the team is to get your grades up.
How am I gonna do that?
Well, we'll figure
out something,
but, right now, you can go
upstairs and start studying.
Both of you.
Both of us?
It's Willis who's the dummy.
Sorry, I didn't
mean that, Willis.
Now, Arnold, it won't
hurt you to go either.
Yes, it would.
I'm being unjustly educated.
Come on, upstairs and hit
the books, both of you. Let's go.
I guess I won't be
needing this anymore.
Okay.
I didn't mean that about you
being a dummy, Willis. I'm sorry.
Well, Daddy, I don't think it's fair.
Basketball's too important to Willis.
Well, so is education, honey, but Willis
doesn't seem to understand that yet.
I think I know
how I can help him.
How?
I'm going to get Willis a tutor.
I'll ask a friend of mine, who's
a professor at the university.
Hi, I'm Danny Rose.
Oh, you're the new tutor.
I'm Mrs. Garrett, the
housekeeper. Come on in.
Wow.
Man, it is amazing what you
can get today on a GI loan.
Yeah, you could call
it kind of spacious.
Spacious?
You could fit Milwaukee in here.
Is that Mr. Drummond,
the tycoon?
Relax, he's a regular
person like you and me.
I'm sorry, Mr. Yamashita, but your company
isn't worth a penny over $2 million.
Like you said, just plain folks.
Please, forgive me, I
was talking to Tokyo.
I'm up to my ears in a big
business deal with a firm over there.
Mr. Drummond,
this is the boys' tutor.
You're Mr. Rose?
Yes, sir.
You may know my pa, Jabbo Rose.
He sells hot dogs
at Yankee Stadium.
I love your sense of humor.
If you'll excuse me.
Just how long have
you been tutoring?
What time is it now?
Here you are.
Hi. Hi, Mr. Drummond.
Fellas, this is the man
I was telling you about.
This is Danny Rose.
He's going to be your tutor.
How you doing? How you doing?
Hiya. Now, these are my
sons, Arnold and Willis.
Hey, how about that.
I didn't know you were black.
We didn't either
till we were born.
Black, I like, just don't be
funnier than the teacher.
Come on, let's get to work.
Okay. Follow us this way.
Come on.
Where do you want
to start, Mr. Rose?
Hey, that's Danny.
And, look, nobody told
me you guys were black,
so if I seemed a little
bit surprised, blood,
that's just because that
I was surprised, right?
Don't make fun of us, man!
Yeah! I got a short fuse.
Hey, hold it! Come
on, now, loosen up!
I wasn't making fun, honest. I'm a
member of the League of Nations.
What you talkin' about, Danny?
In the neighborhood where I
grew up, there was every nationality.
There was Joey
D'Annunzio, Italian.
He was a little
guy, about this big.
There was
Mikapopoulis the Greek,
there was Spanish,
German, Polish
and every color
you could think of.
There was even one
kid who was plaid.
He spoke perfect plaidish.
And you never heard
so many accents.
Like a guy would say, "Good
morning, Yussel, how's by you?"
And that was the Chinese kid.
So we're friends,
right? Am I right?
Yeah, right on.
All right, get down.
Okay, you guys, let's
get serious. Okay?
Willis, I'm going to find out what's been
keeping you off the basketball team, okay?
Do you have any trouble reading?
I read okay, Danny.
Oh, yeah, he reads real good,
no matter what everybody says.
Willis, you read first,
and then Arnold will read.
Reading out loud is dumb.
It's like talking to yourself.
You meet the nicest people
that way. Now, go ahead.
"A large theater
"is known as King
Arthur's round table.
"Most of the..."
I hate this stuff.
Anyway, I got bad memory.
No, you don't. Your
head just has a slow leak.
Why should I wear myself
out studying in school
when I know basketball
is where the real bread is?
Willis, there's more to
life than just athletics.
Go tell that to Dr. J.
He pulls down a
million bucks a year,
and he don't even
make house calls.
He's also a college man.
Okay, if basketball's your thing,
let's see how smart you are, okay?
Who won the NBA
Championship game in 1973?
The Knicks when
they beat the Lakers.
How about '74?
The Celtics. The
Celtics again in '76.
In '77, the Trail
Blazers, '78...
Hey, hey, hey.
What happened to the guy with the
bad memory? You only missed one.
I did?
Yeah. You skipped '75.
1975?
Who won in 1975?
Come on, Willis, you
can remember. No.
In '75, Cincinnati won the World
Series, the Steelers won the Super Bowl.
Who won the NBA?
I don't know.
Come on, think.
You can remember.
I can't, dawg, stop pushing me!
I'm not pushing, but I
think you can remember.
I can't!
You know, I just can't remember!
What's going on?
How is it going with the boys
and the tutor, Mr. Drummond?
Well, Willis just
threw a book at him.
Oh, my.
In my day, we used to
bring our teachers apples.
I'm afraid Mr. Rose
isn't the right tutor.
I've never seen Willis so upset.
It looks like a bad situation.
Oh, hello, Mr. Rose.
Oh, hello.
Oh, Danny. Look, about Willis...
Wasn't that interesting?
What was?
The way he threw that book.
He's opening up.
Oh, I see.
And when he breaks
a couple of windows
and smashes some furniture,
it'll even be better, huh?
Relax, Mr. Drummond.
There's something
holding him back,
and I'm gonna
find out what it is.
I just laid some heavy
psychology on him.
What was that?
Well, I told him
if he didn't study,
we were gonna send him to
Appalachia to live with the Waltons.
It's Mr. Yamashita
calling again from Tokyo.
Excuse me, I have to take
this call. It's very important.
Mr. Yamashita, yeah, I'm
sorry to keep you waiting.
Look, I talked the whole
thing over with my lawyer,
and we still feel the same way.
Well, I guess at that price, I just
don't have a yen for your company.
What?
Oh, it's just a little joke.
Well, as you know, in
America, yen also means...
Well, forget it.
Have a nice day.
Oh, it did?
Well, you never can tell
about volcanoes, can you?
Goodbye, Mr. Yamashita.
I just don't understand him.
Why, did he talk in Japanese?
No, I mean Danny. He came
very highly recommended,
but he certainly isn't my idea
of what a tutor ought to be.
He doesn't even seem
to take his job seriously.
Teachers have to have a
sense of humor, nowadays.
They don't make as much
as garbage collectors.
No.
Man, I'm good at everything, but
I still don't understand arithmetic.
Like, two and two is four, and three and
one is four, and four and nothing is four.
Why don't they
make up their minds?
How's it going with you, Willis?
Sorry I asked.
I just ain't into this.
Look, captain, how you gonna get
back on the team if you don't study?
Well, you see, Danny bugs me.
He's always pushing me
about 1975, pushing me to read.
Why is he always pushing me?
Maybe he's some
new kind of pusher.
Come on, stick your
nose in your book.
I don't understand
how I got all those Ds.
Do you think I'm dumb?
No, I think you're smart.
Thanks.
Sometimes you even look smart.
Come on, read your book.
No, and stop pushing me.
God, you're worse than Danny.
Well, at least one of the Jacksons
will be on the basketball team.
Make way for Dr. A.
Yeah, come in.
Good morning, you guys.
Good morning. - Morning.
Danny couldn't be here
'cause he's in the machine shop,
so he sent me over to
teach you guys, okay?
Okay, men, let's review some of that
new stuff I gave you this past week.
Arnold, what was the original name of
New York before it was called New York?
The Big Apple?
Nope. Fun City?
I'll give you a clue.
Part of the name sounds like a small
animal that runs inside of a wheel.
Hmm.
Ah!
A hamster!
New Hamsterdam!
Close enough.
Give me five, Arnold.
Five for you, too,
brother. Take a rest. Okay.
Okay, Willis,
what are the first 10 amendments
to the Constitution called?
That's easy, the Bill of Rights.
All right! Now,
there was a political scandal involving
a president and his gang of buddies.
What year was that?
1923, Teapot Dome scandal.
Hey, that's terrific. I wasn't
even thinking of that one.
There was another scandal,
though, involving a president,
and some of his buddies
went to jail in 1975.
What was that called?
1975?
Let's see. I don't
know. I can't remember.
The Watergate scandal.
Oh, yeah.
Willis, I don't understand.
You seem to draw a blank on
anything that happened in 1975.
Would you just get
off my case, Danny?
Danny, you better
get off his case
before the books start
flying south for the winter.
I dig. Okay.
Let's put the books
away for the day.
Hey, Danny, if
you don't teach me,
how am I gonna get back
on the basketball team?
Hey, I didn't say we were
through learning for the day.
There are other ways to
open up a guy's head, Willis.
Yeah, you could
hit him with a rock.
I'm going to take
you two on a field trip.
Oh, man.
We are gonna see
a little history today.
What are we gonna see?
I'm gonna take you two to
see the island of Manhattan.
That's funny.
Manhattan is an island.
It is an island.
Then what am I laughing at?
Fellas, picture this,
the Indians standing on the
shore, waiting to greet the settlers
as they brought their
boats into Manhattan Island,
and the Indians' first
words to the settlers were,
"Hey, you can't park there!"
Okay, braves, let's
split from the tepee.
What's going on?
Look at little squaw
with plastic head.
You Indians come near big squaw,
and I suck you up in
my vacuum, and how!
Did Mr. Yamashita call back?
No, sir.
Well, I guess he's
playing inscrutable.
Oh, are the boys upstairs
in their room studying?
No, they went out with
Danny right after he got here.
That was about
a couple hours ago.
What about their schoolwork?
Where did they go?
All I know is the three of them came
out of their room whooping and dancing.
Whooping and dancing?
Yeah, like Indians.
He's even gotten to you.
Give him a chance, Mr. Drummond.
He may kid around, but deep down
inside, he's a very serious young man.
Shalom. Shalom.
What has gotten into you two?
Danny took us on a field
trip around Manhattan
and showed us the
first Jewish temple.
Did you know there are black
people who are Jewish people?
Some of our brothers are kosher.
The rabbi gave us these.
They're called yaarmulkes.
No, no, that's
pronounced yarmulke.
Yeah, even the Pope
wears a little red one.
Well, I'm glad you learned
something of cultural value today,
but I think you should be
hitting the books a little harder.
In fact, a lot harder.
I think Danny should
be teaching you here,
not taking you on
a tour of Manhattan.
Did you know
Manhattan is an island?
That's right, when the
settlers first came here,
the Indians were on
the shores to greet them.
And the Indians' first
words to the settlers were,
"Hey, you can't park there!"
Danny taught us that.
I'm not surprised.
First of all, he comes
in here cracking jokes,
then he thinks it's terrific
that you throw books,
now he takes you on a
sightseeing trip all day.
You left out he took us to see
Attack of the Killer Tomatoes!
Oh.
I didn't know that.
Then forget I said it.
I'm not forgetting
anything. I've had it.
When he shows up here tomorrow
afternoon, I got a lesson for him.
Come on, you dummy.
Hi, Mr. Drummond. How's
my favorite rich person today?
You're not going to
like him. You're fired.
But why?
Because I want a teacher,
not a social director.
Oh, that.
But you don't understand,
that's all part of learning.
Those kids spent their
lives growing up in Harlem.
They don't even
know their own city.
New York has the richest ethnic
traditions of any city in the world.
Besides, there's
still Willis' problem.
Why does he have this block?
Look, it boils down
to this, Danny.
You're just not
my idea of a tutor.
Now, understand, their
mother died a few months ago,
their father died
a few years ago,
and now it's my responsibility
to educate them as I see best.
So I'm gonna write you a check.
What'd you just say?
I said I will write you a check.
No, no, no, about their father.
That he died a few years ago.
Could it have been in 1975?
Yes, what about it?
Well, every time I ask Willis a
question about 1975, he draws a blank.
I'm sure that what he has is
what's called a break in learning.
A traumatic experience causes a block
in a kid, and he doesn't even know it.
Well, they would have
picked that up in public school.
How can they? The
classrooms are overcrowded,
the teachers are too busy collecting
the knives, the guns, the grass.
Hey, Mr. Drummond.
Hi, Mr. Drummond.
Hi, guys.
Read this letter
from my teacher.
Letter from your teacher?
Okay.
Hey, Willis, this is marvelous!
Your teacher says you've
made marked improvement,
and if this continues, you will
soon be back on the basketball team.
Here, read it for yourself.
We don't have to, we
already steamed it open.
Oh, you did, did you?
It's what you call
a sneak preview.
We knew you'd tell us anyway.
I'm really proud of you, Willis.
Me, too.
When you get to be on the
Knicks, I expect free tickets.
You got 'em, blood.
You know, I'm kind
of proud of myself.
School ain't as bad as I
thought. Thanks a lot, Danny.
Don't mention it, man.
Well, I guess I'll take that
check now, Mr. Drummond.
All right.
No wonder you're so rich,
you write the checks,
but you never spend them.
Not only was I wrong
about you, Danny,
but I'm very grateful for
the discovery you made.
It's going to help us all.
I hope you want to stay
and help Willis and Arnold.
I thought you'd never ask.
Great, I'm glad you're staying.
I'm glad he's staying.
Willis,
I know that I can never
replace your real father,
but I'm gonna do my best
to be the next best
possible dad you could have.
Thanks.
Excuse me.
Hello? Yeah, Mr. Yamashita.
No. No.
Look, I'm tired of going
over this over and over again.
That is my final offer.
Take it or leave it.
He left it.
I blew the deal.
Well, as Danny would say,
you can't win them all.
♪ Now the world don't move
to the beat of just one drum
♪ What might be right for
you may not be right for some
♪ A man is born
he's a man of means
♪ Then along come two
♪ They got nothin'
but their jeans
♪ But they got Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world
♪ Yes, it does It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world ♪
to the beat of just one drum
♪ What might be right for
you may not be right for some
♪ A man is born
he's a man of means
♪ Then along come two
♪ They got nothin'
but their jeans
♪ But they got Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world
♪ Everybody's got
a special kind of story
♪ Everybody finds a way to shine
♪ It don't matter that you got
♪ Not a lot, so what?
♪ They'll have
theirs you'll have yours
♪ And I'll have mine
♪ And together we'll be fine
♪ 'Cause it takes
♪ Diff'rent Strokes to
move the world, yes, it does
♪ It takes Diff'rent Strokes
to move the world! ♪
What's so funny, Arnold?
There's this dude from
another planet with three heads.
Two of them can't sleep, and
they're keeping the other awake.
I wish I had three heads.
I'd send one to the beauty
parlor and one to the dentist,
and the other one would stay home
looking at pictures of John Travolta.
Look where you're going, Willis.
You just knocked
me in my Travolta.
Sorry, I gotta get to basketball
practice, Mrs. Garrett.
But, Willis, you shouldn't...
That's Captain Willis.
They just elected me
captain of the basketball team.
Oh!
Captain Willis!
That's right.
Maybe you can
get a girlfriend now.
Congratulations, captain. How
about a pit stop for your milk?
It slows me down when
I got all that milk in me.
Yeah. Have you seen
a cow shoot a basket?
That would be an
udder impossibility.
Hey, Willis, how'd you
do on your report card?
That's right.
Today's the big day.
How did you boys do?
How'd you do, Arnold?
I did good.
Not as good as I should, but better
than if I didn't do as good as I did.
Good, Arnold. Well,
what about you, Willis?
I got a D.
Oh!
Just one?
Just one in geography, just
one in history, just one in reading.
You mean to tell me you didn't
get an A in your best subject?
Which one is that?
Recess.
You got two teeth left,
you want to try for none?
I pass.
My first report card since I've
been here with Mr. Drummond,
and it's worse than
the one I got in Harlem.
Well, a new school and everything
new, I'm sure he'll understand.
Will he understand about
this letter my teacher sent him?
I wish I knew what was in it.
For your sake, I hope it's
an early Christmas card.
Hi, boys. Hi, Mr. Drummond.
Hi.
Don't worry, Willis.
Hey, Mr. D.
I guess I should
have a talk with you.
You know,
I guess you're too
busy, so forget it.
Yeah, you're too busy, and may I be
the first to wish you a merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas?
What's going on?
Hello, Daddy. Hi, sweetheart.
Hi, fellas. How'd you guys
do on your report cards?
Report cards?
Now I get it.
Willis.
I'd really like to see them.
Why don't you look at Kimberly's
first so you'll be in a good mood?
Sure. Here, Daddy. I did okay.
Yeah?
Yeah, very good work, Kimberly.
Thank you, Daddy.
Now let's see yours, fellas.
Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.
Not bad.
Hey.
How come you got a C in phys ed?
Because of the low hurdles.
What about them?
They weren't low enough.
Instead of jumping over
them, I ran under them.
The best way to make those
hurdles is to leap over them, it's all...
Willis.
Yes, Mr. Drummond?
Report card?
Oh, dear.
Oh, my.
Oh, for goodness sake.
How do you like it so far?
Willis, it's very disappointing.
You got three Ds.
At least it's consistent.
Well, a D ain't bad
when you think there's 22 more
letters in the alphabet that come after it.
I guess you might
as well see this, too.
Okay. Let's see what we've got.
Uh-oh!
Your teacher says until your grades
improve, you're off the basketball team.
Say what? That's not fair!
Ain't that a crock?
They can't do that to
me! I'm the team captain!
But the only way you're gonna get
back on the team is to get your grades up.
How am I gonna do that?
Well, we'll figure
out something,
but, right now, you can go
upstairs and start studying.
Both of you.
Both of us?
It's Willis who's the dummy.
Sorry, I didn't
mean that, Willis.
Now, Arnold, it won't
hurt you to go either.
Yes, it would.
I'm being unjustly educated.
Come on, upstairs and hit
the books, both of you. Let's go.
I guess I won't be
needing this anymore.
Okay.
I didn't mean that about you
being a dummy, Willis. I'm sorry.
Well, Daddy, I don't think it's fair.
Basketball's too important to Willis.
Well, so is education, honey, but Willis
doesn't seem to understand that yet.
I think I know
how I can help him.
How?
I'm going to get Willis a tutor.
I'll ask a friend of mine, who's
a professor at the university.
Hi, I'm Danny Rose.
Oh, you're the new tutor.
I'm Mrs. Garrett, the
housekeeper. Come on in.
Wow.
Man, it is amazing what you
can get today on a GI loan.
Yeah, you could call
it kind of spacious.
Spacious?
You could fit Milwaukee in here.
Is that Mr. Drummond,
the tycoon?
Relax, he's a regular
person like you and me.
I'm sorry, Mr. Yamashita, but your company
isn't worth a penny over $2 million.
Like you said, just plain folks.
Please, forgive me, I
was talking to Tokyo.
I'm up to my ears in a big
business deal with a firm over there.
Mr. Drummond,
this is the boys' tutor.
You're Mr. Rose?
Yes, sir.
You may know my pa, Jabbo Rose.
He sells hot dogs
at Yankee Stadium.
I love your sense of humor.
If you'll excuse me.
Just how long have
you been tutoring?
What time is it now?
Here you are.
Hi. Hi, Mr. Drummond.
Fellas, this is the man
I was telling you about.
This is Danny Rose.
He's going to be your tutor.
How you doing? How you doing?
Hiya. Now, these are my
sons, Arnold and Willis.
Hey, how about that.
I didn't know you were black.
We didn't either
till we were born.
Black, I like, just don't be
funnier than the teacher.
Come on, let's get to work.
Okay. Follow us this way.
Come on.
Where do you want
to start, Mr. Rose?
Hey, that's Danny.
And, look, nobody told
me you guys were black,
so if I seemed a little
bit surprised, blood,
that's just because that
I was surprised, right?
Don't make fun of us, man!
Yeah! I got a short fuse.
Hey, hold it! Come
on, now, loosen up!
I wasn't making fun, honest. I'm a
member of the League of Nations.
What you talkin' about, Danny?
In the neighborhood where I
grew up, there was every nationality.
There was Joey
D'Annunzio, Italian.
He was a little
guy, about this big.
There was
Mikapopoulis the Greek,
there was Spanish,
German, Polish
and every color
you could think of.
There was even one
kid who was plaid.
He spoke perfect plaidish.
And you never heard
so many accents.
Like a guy would say, "Good
morning, Yussel, how's by you?"
And that was the Chinese kid.
So we're friends,
right? Am I right?
Yeah, right on.
All right, get down.
Okay, you guys, let's
get serious. Okay?
Willis, I'm going to find out what's been
keeping you off the basketball team, okay?
Do you have any trouble reading?
I read okay, Danny.
Oh, yeah, he reads real good,
no matter what everybody says.
Willis, you read first,
and then Arnold will read.
Reading out loud is dumb.
It's like talking to yourself.
You meet the nicest people
that way. Now, go ahead.
"A large theater
"is known as King
Arthur's round table.
"Most of the..."
I hate this stuff.
Anyway, I got bad memory.
No, you don't. Your
head just has a slow leak.
Why should I wear myself
out studying in school
when I know basketball
is where the real bread is?
Willis, there's more to
life than just athletics.
Go tell that to Dr. J.
He pulls down a
million bucks a year,
and he don't even
make house calls.
He's also a college man.
Okay, if basketball's your thing,
let's see how smart you are, okay?
Who won the NBA
Championship game in 1973?
The Knicks when
they beat the Lakers.
How about '74?
The Celtics. The
Celtics again in '76.
In '77, the Trail
Blazers, '78...
Hey, hey, hey.
What happened to the guy with the
bad memory? You only missed one.
I did?
Yeah. You skipped '75.
1975?
Who won in 1975?
Come on, Willis, you
can remember. No.
In '75, Cincinnati won the World
Series, the Steelers won the Super Bowl.
Who won the NBA?
I don't know.
Come on, think.
You can remember.
I can't, dawg, stop pushing me!
I'm not pushing, but I
think you can remember.
I can't!
You know, I just can't remember!
What's going on?
How is it going with the boys
and the tutor, Mr. Drummond?
Well, Willis just
threw a book at him.
Oh, my.
In my day, we used to
bring our teachers apples.
I'm afraid Mr. Rose
isn't the right tutor.
I've never seen Willis so upset.
It looks like a bad situation.
Oh, hello, Mr. Rose.
Oh, hello.
Oh, Danny. Look, about Willis...
Wasn't that interesting?
What was?
The way he threw that book.
He's opening up.
Oh, I see.
And when he breaks
a couple of windows
and smashes some furniture,
it'll even be better, huh?
Relax, Mr. Drummond.
There's something
holding him back,
and I'm gonna
find out what it is.
I just laid some heavy
psychology on him.
What was that?
Well, I told him
if he didn't study,
we were gonna send him to
Appalachia to live with the Waltons.
It's Mr. Yamashita
calling again from Tokyo.
Excuse me, I have to take
this call. It's very important.
Mr. Yamashita, yeah, I'm
sorry to keep you waiting.
Look, I talked the whole
thing over with my lawyer,
and we still feel the same way.
Well, I guess at that price, I just
don't have a yen for your company.
What?
Oh, it's just a little joke.
Well, as you know, in
America, yen also means...
Well, forget it.
Have a nice day.
Oh, it did?
Well, you never can tell
about volcanoes, can you?
Goodbye, Mr. Yamashita.
I just don't understand him.
Why, did he talk in Japanese?
No, I mean Danny. He came
very highly recommended,
but he certainly isn't my idea
of what a tutor ought to be.
He doesn't even seem
to take his job seriously.
Teachers have to have a
sense of humor, nowadays.
They don't make as much
as garbage collectors.
No.
Man, I'm good at everything, but
I still don't understand arithmetic.
Like, two and two is four, and three and
one is four, and four and nothing is four.
Why don't they
make up their minds?
How's it going with you, Willis?
Sorry I asked.
I just ain't into this.
Look, captain, how you gonna get
back on the team if you don't study?
Well, you see, Danny bugs me.
He's always pushing me
about 1975, pushing me to read.
Why is he always pushing me?
Maybe he's some
new kind of pusher.
Come on, stick your
nose in your book.
I don't understand
how I got all those Ds.
Do you think I'm dumb?
No, I think you're smart.
Thanks.
Sometimes you even look smart.
Come on, read your book.
No, and stop pushing me.
God, you're worse than Danny.
Well, at least one of the Jacksons
will be on the basketball team.
Make way for Dr. A.
Yeah, come in.
Good morning, you guys.
Good morning. - Morning.
Danny couldn't be here
'cause he's in the machine shop,
so he sent me over to
teach you guys, okay?
Okay, men, let's review some of that
new stuff I gave you this past week.
Arnold, what was the original name of
New York before it was called New York?
The Big Apple?
Nope. Fun City?
I'll give you a clue.
Part of the name sounds like a small
animal that runs inside of a wheel.
Hmm.
Ah!
A hamster!
New Hamsterdam!
Close enough.
Give me five, Arnold.
Five for you, too,
brother. Take a rest. Okay.
Okay, Willis,
what are the first 10 amendments
to the Constitution called?
That's easy, the Bill of Rights.
All right! Now,
there was a political scandal involving
a president and his gang of buddies.
What year was that?
1923, Teapot Dome scandal.
Hey, that's terrific. I wasn't
even thinking of that one.
There was another scandal,
though, involving a president,
and some of his buddies
went to jail in 1975.
What was that called?
1975?
Let's see. I don't
know. I can't remember.
The Watergate scandal.
Oh, yeah.
Willis, I don't understand.
You seem to draw a blank on
anything that happened in 1975.
Would you just get
off my case, Danny?
Danny, you better
get off his case
before the books start
flying south for the winter.
I dig. Okay.
Let's put the books
away for the day.
Hey, Danny, if
you don't teach me,
how am I gonna get back
on the basketball team?
Hey, I didn't say we were
through learning for the day.
There are other ways to
open up a guy's head, Willis.
Yeah, you could
hit him with a rock.
I'm going to take
you two on a field trip.
Oh, man.
We are gonna see
a little history today.
What are we gonna see?
I'm gonna take you two to
see the island of Manhattan.
That's funny.
Manhattan is an island.
It is an island.
Then what am I laughing at?
Fellas, picture this,
the Indians standing on the
shore, waiting to greet the settlers
as they brought their
boats into Manhattan Island,
and the Indians' first
words to the settlers were,
"Hey, you can't park there!"
Okay, braves, let's
split from the tepee.
What's going on?
Look at little squaw
with plastic head.
You Indians come near big squaw,
and I suck you up in
my vacuum, and how!
Did Mr. Yamashita call back?
No, sir.
Well, I guess he's
playing inscrutable.
Oh, are the boys upstairs
in their room studying?
No, they went out with
Danny right after he got here.
That was about
a couple hours ago.
What about their schoolwork?
Where did they go?
All I know is the three of them came
out of their room whooping and dancing.
Whooping and dancing?
Yeah, like Indians.
He's even gotten to you.
Give him a chance, Mr. Drummond.
He may kid around, but deep down
inside, he's a very serious young man.
Shalom. Shalom.
What has gotten into you two?
Danny took us on a field
trip around Manhattan
and showed us the
first Jewish temple.
Did you know there are black
people who are Jewish people?
Some of our brothers are kosher.
The rabbi gave us these.
They're called yaarmulkes.
No, no, that's
pronounced yarmulke.
Yeah, even the Pope
wears a little red one.
Well, I'm glad you learned
something of cultural value today,
but I think you should be
hitting the books a little harder.
In fact, a lot harder.
I think Danny should
be teaching you here,
not taking you on
a tour of Manhattan.
Did you know
Manhattan is an island?
That's right, when the
settlers first came here,
the Indians were on
the shores to greet them.
And the Indians' first
words to the settlers were,
"Hey, you can't park there!"
Danny taught us that.
I'm not surprised.
First of all, he comes
in here cracking jokes,
then he thinks it's terrific
that you throw books,
now he takes you on a
sightseeing trip all day.
You left out he took us to see
Attack of the Killer Tomatoes!
Oh.
I didn't know that.
Then forget I said it.
I'm not forgetting
anything. I've had it.
When he shows up here tomorrow
afternoon, I got a lesson for him.
Come on, you dummy.
Hi, Mr. Drummond. How's
my favorite rich person today?
You're not going to
like him. You're fired.
But why?
Because I want a teacher,
not a social director.
Oh, that.
But you don't understand,
that's all part of learning.
Those kids spent their
lives growing up in Harlem.
They don't even
know their own city.
New York has the richest ethnic
traditions of any city in the world.
Besides, there's
still Willis' problem.
Why does he have this block?
Look, it boils down
to this, Danny.
You're just not
my idea of a tutor.
Now, understand, their
mother died a few months ago,
their father died
a few years ago,
and now it's my responsibility
to educate them as I see best.
So I'm gonna write you a check.
What'd you just say?
I said I will write you a check.
No, no, no, about their father.
That he died a few years ago.
Could it have been in 1975?
Yes, what about it?
Well, every time I ask Willis a
question about 1975, he draws a blank.
I'm sure that what he has is
what's called a break in learning.
A traumatic experience causes a block
in a kid, and he doesn't even know it.
Well, they would have
picked that up in public school.
How can they? The
classrooms are overcrowded,
the teachers are too busy collecting
the knives, the guns, the grass.
Hey, Mr. Drummond.
Hi, Mr. Drummond.
Hi, guys.
Read this letter
from my teacher.
Letter from your teacher?
Okay.
Hey, Willis, this is marvelous!
Your teacher says you've
made marked improvement,
and if this continues, you will
soon be back on the basketball team.
Here, read it for yourself.
We don't have to, we
already steamed it open.
Oh, you did, did you?
It's what you call
a sneak preview.
We knew you'd tell us anyway.
I'm really proud of you, Willis.
Me, too.
When you get to be on the
Knicks, I expect free tickets.
You got 'em, blood.
You know, I'm kind
of proud of myself.
School ain't as bad as I
thought. Thanks a lot, Danny.
Don't mention it, man.
Well, I guess I'll take that
check now, Mr. Drummond.
All right.
No wonder you're so rich,
you write the checks,
but you never spend them.
Not only was I wrong
about you, Danny,
but I'm very grateful for
the discovery you made.
It's going to help us all.
I hope you want to stay
and help Willis and Arnold.
I thought you'd never ask.
Great, I'm glad you're staying.
I'm glad he's staying.
Willis,
I know that I can never
replace your real father,
but I'm gonna do my best
to be the next best
possible dad you could have.
Thanks.
Excuse me.
Hello? Yeah, Mr. Yamashita.
No. No.
Look, I'm tired of going
over this over and over again.
That is my final offer.
Take it or leave it.
He left it.
I blew the deal.
Well, as Danny would say,
you can't win them all.
♪ Now the world don't move
to the beat of just one drum
♪ What might be right for
you may not be right for some
♪ A man is born
he's a man of means
♪ Then along come two
♪ They got nothin'
but their jeans
♪ But they got Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world
♪ Yes, it does It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world ♪