Diary of a Future President (2020–…): Season 1, Episode 5 - Whistleblower - full transcript

Diary, have I mentioned
that Bobby was tennis captain?

We're finally on top.

- 'Cause he has.
- I'm officially the best player in school.

My mom was busy with her new case at work.

I wanna be number two.

The clients come in tomorrow morning.
Can you work through dinner tonight?

Are... Are you offering it to me?

And it seemed like childhood
was in my rearview mirror.

Hmm.

Now, before we begin our feast
of time-of-the-month foods,

I'd like to make a toast
to officially welcome you,



Elena Ofelia Cañero-Reed, to womanhood.

Thanks, Mami.

Mm.

How do you feel?

Well, a little crampy, and it feels like
I'm wearing a pool float.

But small prices to pay
for being a grown-up.

Mm.

Sorry. My boss, Joy, is texting me
about this new case we're working on.

- What's it about?
- You know Waveline Resorts?

Their housekeeping staff formed a union.

Waveline didn't like that,
so they fired everyone.

Wait, that's terrible.

So you're helping them
get their jobs back?

It's a bit bigger than that.
We're suing the whole hotel group.



They need to change their policies
so that this doesn't happen again.

- You can do that?
- Mm.

Well, it's gonna be a tough uphill battle,
but someone's gotta right these wrongs.

Pardon my French, Mami,
but you're kind of a badass.

Mmm.

Thank you, mija. I mean, thank you señora.

Mm.

Oh, shoot. It's Joy again.

Take your time.

"When you're a career woman,
it's important to balance work and play."

I read that off the back of my pad box.

Hey, Gabi. Listen, I wanna talk to you
about the Waveline statement.

I think it might be a little long.

I thought the same thing.

Hang on, I'm going through my notes.
They're all over the place.

My mother called and told me
my new haircut makes me look annoying.

Can you believe that?

Come on. I love your cut.

My mom is always giving me grief
about my hair.

So ridiculous, right?

Right? So the statement,
you think it should be shorter?

No, no. She's fine with the length.

But she has a million opinions
on the color.

Diary, my mom is so inspiring.

A strong woman, fighting to make change.

I wanted to be just like her.

I was ready, world.
I mean, I was a woman now.

Congratulations.

You're a woman!

I knew there was something different
about you.

At first, I thought you were
wearing makeup, but now I know,

it's not mascara that's making
your eyes pop, it's wisdom.

Thanks, Sash.

Hey. Do either of you have a pad?

Sorry, can't spare any.

Such a heavy flow this month.

- Yeah, same. Must be the moon.
- Mm.

Um, I have a pad.

Oh, my God. Thank you so much.

It's an honor and a privilege.

The moon thing, by the way, is a myth.

Our cycles are regulated
by our pituitary glands. Just FYI.

What up, what up?

So, I know this is Lame Town, USA.

But in honor of spirit week,
each sixth grader has to write an essay.

The prompt is

"Why I'm proud to be a Fighting Swansby."

Five hundred words, double-spaced,

and this is not my rule,
but, Henry, emojis don't count.

Smoke coming out of ears.

So, I'm with Elena,
celebrating her big moment.

Yeah, which I was there for.
You know, helping, supporting, inspiring.

- Hmm.
- Huh.

- I'm sorry. You were saying?
- Well,

so then Joy calls to talk about the case,

but kept going on and on about her hair,
her mom, her mom's hair.

I like Joy. I do,

but she's taking up
an awful lot of my time

with things that aren't, well, work.

Hmm?

I see what's going on here.
Joy's holding you bosstage.

"Bosstage"?

It's when a boss makes you
hang out with them.

And they're your boss,
so you feel like you can't say no.

I coined it at my last firm.

There were a lot
of active bosstage situations.

Racquetball, mostly.

I guess there's some bosstaging going on.
But it's manageable.

For now. But if you don't set boundaries,
it can become a problem.

Take it from me.

I ended up playing a nine-day
racquetball tournament in North Dakota

with my boss, Harold.

I missed my cousin's wedding.

- There she is.
- Here I am.

Hey, it's gonna be a late night.
How about we order some tapas?

- That sounds great.
- Okay.

- Don't say it.
- Bosstage.

Okay, guys, it's spirit week, which means
our big match against Oceanside.

And we can't crush those guys
if we don't look like winners, right?

So take a look at this.

That's right. Everybody gets a jacket
with your last name on it.

I want you guys to wear these with pride.

Okay, line up, Fighting Swansbys.

What's up? You allergic to free swag?

It's not that cool when
they never get your name right.

What do you mean?

- You know the "ñ" in my last name?
- Yeah.

Well, they don't.

They have a sad face,
but not an actual letter?

- I've given up hope.
- Oh, wow.

Cañero-Reed?

No matter what it says this year...

I'll wear it with pride.

Whoa.

Sweet.

- Dude.
- Nice, man.

- Oceanside is going down.
- Yeah!

Whoo!

Sorry, I'm late.

There was a major traffic jam
in hallway D.

- What's wrong?
- I sat down to write my essay

on why I'm proud to be a Swansby,

when I realized I didn't know anything
about the mascot of our school.

Ogden Swansby. Founder of Miami Glades,
who, in a word, was a butt.

He was an orange baron
who made his fortune off of orange juice.

That doesn't sound so bad.

- Squeezed by the hands of underpaid women.
- Oh.

Swansby forced them
to work with no breaks,

- and he made corsets mandatory.
- Ew.

He even used a woman as a human shield
in the Battle of Boca.

Human shield?

Sasha, we need to do something
about this, this butt.

We could ask for a different essay prompt?

This is so much bigger than an essay.

We need to right this wrong.

Hey, Orange Bay.

The tennis match
against Oceanside is Saturday!

Swansby Strong!

Swansby proud!

Oh, my goddess.
We need to demand a new mascot.

Stupid spreadsheet program.

Thank you for making the time
to see me, Dr. Cooper.

Well, I didn't.

You asked me if I had a minute,
and when I said no,

you came in and sat down anyway.

I've discovered something
very unfortunate about Orange Bay Middle.

Now the mouse is moving,
and I'm not touching it.

Dr. Cooper, our mascot, Ogden Swansby...

Was a real butt. Yeah, I know.

Wait? You know about Swansby?

Yeah. Not a great guy.

Oh. Oh, no.
Now the entire budget disappeared.

Probably for the best.

If this guy is so awful,
why is he our mascot?

Because he's the father of Miami Glades.

Without Swansby,
Orange Bay Middle wouldn't exist,

and you wouldn't have your education.

Actually, he would've preferred
you didn't, but he's dead now.

Anyway, he's always been
the face of our school. It's tradition.

But it's a bad tradition.

From one adult to another,
you've gotta understand.

We need to change the mascot ASAP.

You can't just change things.
There's a process.

Here. Fill out this petition.

Get a hundred signatures that show that
you have support, and then we'll talk.

Control Z should get the budget back,
by the way.

Now that I had a form,
Swansby was going down.

Dude, that's a myth.

No, I am telling you the iguana
was in my grandma's toilet.

Oceanside? What do they want?

Can we help you guys?

I just saw the brackets
for the game tomorrow,

and it looks like I get the honor
of destroying you on your own court.

Oh, congrats, Davis.
When did you learn how to read?

He just called you illiterate.

No. He said I can't read.

Hey, what's with the worm on your back?

Worm? What are you...
What are you talking about?

You got that stupid squiggle
in the middle of your jacket.

It's a part of my name, idiot.

It makes the ñ sound.

Yeah, well, it looks like a worm,
so I'm gonna call you "Worm."

Birds eat worms, dudes.
See you on the court.

- Thanks.
- No problem.

Ogden Swansby was a butt.

Our school is built on the citrusy tears
of his female employees!

Sign the petition to change the mascot?

I'm so glad you're doing this.

Swansby had my great-grandmother
jailed for wearing pants.

Thanks, Monyca with a Y.

- Huh?
- We have 40 signatures, only 60% to go.

Mr. Wade's right.
We do use math in the real world.

Sign the petition to change the mascot?

Not a chance. It's spirit week.

We've worked super hard
on our tennis halftime show,

and it centers around
the Fighting Swansby.

If we change the mascot,
it will ruin everything.

Plus, without Swansby,
we wouldn't be Swansbabes. Duh.

But you're celebrating a creepy, weird,
old guy who was really mean to women.

It's like saying what he did was okay.
And it wasn't.

Oh, whatever. He's dead now, right?

He's not being mean to us, so who cares?

Oh, wait. No one.

Oops. My spicy mocha blend whip slipped.

Come on, Melissa.

Elena, I don't know
if we can salvage this.

Hey, fights like these
are an uphill battle.

Sticky signatures are still signatures.

Only 60 more to go.

Nope. 61.
Someone signed it "Jacques Strap."

What the hell?

Davis.

Okay, so you'll file these motions
first thing in the morning?

- Sounds good. See you in the morning.
- Yes? Okay, great.

Gabi, listen.

Can I get your eyes on one more thing?

- Sure.
- Um...

I'm redoing my dating profile,
and none of my friends can decide

which of these photos
makes me look the most mysterious.

Is it this one? Or this one? Or this one?

- Or this one? Or this one?
- Oh, wow.

Oh, hey, I forgot about that selfie series
I took of me in Turks and Caicos!

We better get some more wine.

- Yeah, we better get some more wine.
- Here's one here.

- Look at this one.
- Wow, that's...

That's me dressed as twins.

Thanks again for making the time
to see me, Dr. Cooper.

Again, I didn't.

You cornered me outside the bathroom,
and then followed me in here.

I haven't even had my coffee yet. Marcus!

So, I am proud to present to you
100 signatures,

all there in black and white.

And a few in lavender gel pen,
I hope that's okay.

Wow. Surprisingly fast turnaround.

Unlike my coffee request.

So, for the new mascot, I was thinking,
Orange Bay Butterflies?

Sea Turtles? Ferrets?
Probably not ferrets.

Oh, h-h-hold your horses.

Or maybe horses.

Look, I can file this petition,
and the school board will review it

at their next meeting in three months.

I hate those meetings.
I think they talk about me behind my back.

Three months? But I'm trying
to change the mascot now.

Elena, our school has a process.

A lot of people are gonna have
feelings about this,

and their voices need to be heard too.

That takes time. Everything takes time.

Right, Marcus?

Swansby used a woman as a human shield.
This is important.

Each one of these folders
is an issue that's important.

"More balls for P.E."
"Softer toilet paper."

"Less balls for P.E."

Look, your issue will get heard.

Just be patient. Wait your turn.

Swansby. Stupid, stupid Swansby.

This is all your fault.

You silly, silly little man.

I'm not a man. I'm a woman.

Oh, your pants threw me off.

Wait, you're a woman who thinks
she can get rid of me?

Stop laughing. You're such a butt.

You wanna fight Swansby?
That's adorable, but you'll never win.

I'm getting somewhere,
it's just taking longer

- than I thought, and...
- Give up, silly woman. Just give up.

Stop laughing at me.

Ew.

Pulpy.

Diary, there was no time to waste.

And I knew just when to make my move.

- Oh, I can get used to this.
- Mm-hmm.

Made some Warrior Huevos.

Mixed in some quinoa
for a sustainable carb.

You'll need it
if you're gonna demolish Oceanside.

Robertico, where's your jacket?

I wanted to show Sam
how they finally got your name right.

- Oh.
- I left it at school.

Warrior Huevos for you, madame?

I'm gonna need 'em.
It's not even 8:00 a.m.,

and I've already spoken to Joy twice
about her sister's new boyfriend.

He's an Aries. She's a Capricorn.
It's never gonna work.

Gabi, if you just set a boundary with Joy,
you can nip this in the bud, you know?

Before you're nursing a torn ACL
from nine straight days of racquetball.

I know. It's just so hard.

She's my boss, and when we're working
on the case, it's great.

Can you please pour me some coffee?

- I'm exhausted.
- Yes.

I get it. It's hard work
to fight the good fight.

Speaking of the good fight.

Hey, Joy.

Are you sure about this?

Yes. Ogden Swansby will bathe in the juice

of the millions of oranges
he forced women to squeeze.

Okay, yeah, but the mascot
isn't actually Ogden Swansby,

it's Frank Galanari in a costume.

So, how are people gonna know
what you mean, hmm?

And, what about the petition?

We worked so hard to blow it dry.

The petition's a dead-end.
It'll take forever.

It's spirit week now,

and Swansby's spirit
has been here long enough.

I don't know, Elena.
This just seems a little... extreme.

And you could get in trouble.

As Laurel Thatcher Ulrich said,
via my pad box,

"Well-behaved women seldom make history."

Now, if you'll excuse me,

gotta lug this bucket of OJ
onto the tennis courts.

Wow, look at you.

Yeah. A kid talked me into
the full pride package.

I got a Swansblanket if anyone gets cold.

Hey, Sasha, where's Elena?

Uh, she'll be here soon.

Don't forget to grab your
Swansby swirlies at the concession stands.

Hey, Worm.

Cañero-Reed, you're up next.

You can just say Reed.

- What?
- It's easier. Just say Reed.

Really? So they finally get it right,
and now you're changing your name?

All right, whatever your name is,
go get 'em.

Up next, Bobby Cañero-Reed,
Orange Bay, versus Davis...

You got this, man.

Go, Bobby!

My son is the captain!

My boyfriend's the captain. Whoo!

I spent all my money on swag!

Go, Bobby.

Hey, Worm.

Yes.

Dude, this is hard to watch.

Bobby never loses.

Well, except to you that one time.

Davis got in his head.

Worm, Worm.

- I have an idea.
- Okay.

Come on, Bobby. You got this.

Hey, Joy.

Oh, your sister's engaged.
But he's an Aries.

Right, the rising sign. Uh-huh.
Why didn't we think about that?

Okay. Um... I'll be right back.

Yeah, okay. So, when is the wedding?

- Yo, Bobby!
- Hey!

Whoo!

- Yeah!
- You got this! Whoo-hoo!

- You got this.
- You got it, bro.

- Do it. Eyes on the prize.
- It's not over yet.

Yes!

Whoo!

- Worm!
- This is match point.

Yeah!

- Whoo-hoo! Yeah!
- Yeah, yeah!

Game, set, match.
Oranges Bay wins.

Yeah!

Guess you ate my dirt.

Whatever, dude.

Nice comeback.

Team effort.

Did I miss it? Oh, God. He won?

Yeah, it was quite the comeback.
I recorded it for you.

No, that's just my face.

And now, a performance
by our very own Swansbabes.

Sash, where's Elena?

Uh, around.

Attention, spirit week attendees...

Oh, God. What is she doing?

Ogden Swansby was a terrible man.

And he is unfit to be our mascot.

His anti-woman reign ends today!

Juice this, Swansby!

He used her as a human shield.

Classic Swansby.

Jessie, I'm so sorry. Wait!

Jessica, I am so, so sorry.

You embarrassed me
in front of two schools.

That's like 6,000 people.
What's your deal?

It's not my fault.
Ogden Swansby used you...

You were the one with the juice,
not Ogden Swansby.

He's not the problem, you are.

I was trying to right a wrong.

By ruining my life?

Stop pretending like
you care about right or wrong,

when all you care about is yourself.

That's not true.

I haven't even told a soul
you lied about your period.

You lied about your period?

That's so lame.

- Melissa, wait.
- Jessica, I am...

It doesn't matter that
you got your period, Elena.

You're a child!

No, you haven't told me
your thing about corgis.

I'm sorry, Joy.

I'm in the middle of something important
with my daughter.

Is there any way that we can catch up
on Monday at work?

Thank you so much, Joy.

Yeah. You too.
Enjoy your weekend.

Okay. Bye.

Okay.

Talk to me. What happened?

I was trying to make a difference,
like you at work,

by changing a bad,
long-standing tradition.

Mm-hmm. That's a good intention.

And Swansby does sound like he was a butt.

- A big butt.
- But...

do you think that dumping
orange juice on a kid in a costume

was the right way
to get your message across?

Well, I don't know.

But it needed to be fixed,

and it was taking way too long
to make any kinda change.

Oh, I know the feeling.

I fully expect to be on this Waveline case
for at least two years.

"Years"?

Yeah, it could be frustrating.

I wish that change could happen overnight,
but we gotta just keep at it.

In ways that don't involve
throwing juice on people.

Everyone's calling her
"Jessica from Concentrate."

See? If you're not careful
your message could get lost.

Oh, I don't want that.

I'm meeting with Dr. Cooper Monday
to discuss my punishment.

Mm-hmm.

I've never gotten in trouble
at school before.

What's gonna happen to me?

You're gonna hold your head up
and face the consequences.

Señora.

Well, Diary,
Ogden Swansby may have won today,

but that doesn't mean
that he'll win tomorrow.

So you're saying Elena lied
about you lying about your period?

Yes, she's the worst.

Okay.

I just gotta be patient.
Change takes time.

Thank you, Marcus.

But hopefully someone heard my message.

It's important to stand up
for what you believe in.

But you gotta do it the right way.

I want to keep fighting for what's right,

and I hope someday
it will all be worth it.

Because, Diary, this was my rock-bottom.