Diagnosis Murder (1993–2001): Season 7, Episode 9 - The Mouth That Roared - full transcript

Marie:
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT.

OKAY, NOW WAIT.

DENISE, DENISE, HOLD ON.

FOR EVERYONE OUT THERE
IN AMERICA RIGHT NOW

WHO MAY NOT KNOW THIS...

THE THREE PEOPLE THAT
MAY NOT KNOW THIS...

YOU HAVE A NATIONALLY
SYNDICATED RADIO TALK
SHOW, RIGHT?

YEAH, IN 35 MAJOR MARKETS.

BUT, YOU KNOW, WHO'S COUNTING?

AND YOU JUST THROW
IT OUT THERE

THAT YOU ARE
DESPERATELY SEARCHING



FOR YOUR BIRTH MOTHER...

ALL RIGHT,
NOT "DESPERATE" DESPERATE...

BUT...

HOW ABOUT PATHETIC?

PATHETIC IS GOOD, YES.

OKAY, LET ME...

WAIT A MINUTE, LET ME
GET THIS STRAIGHT.

ANYBODY WHO KNEW HER

KNEW THAT SHE GAVE
YOU UP FOR ADOPTION.

COULD YOU SHOW UP ON HER DOOR
STEP, RIGHT?

YEAH.

AND YOUR POINT IS WHAT...?

WHAT ABOUT HER RIGHT
TO PRIVACY?

WELL, WHAT ABOUT
MY RIGHT TO KNOW?



HELLO?

HOW DID YOU FIND ME?

WHY CAN'T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE?

LET THE PAST STAY IN THE PAST.

YES, I HEARD YOU.

Donny:
Okay, now, Denise,
what about this:

what if you find out
that your birth mother

wants nothing to do with you?

Denise:
All right, wait.

Let me see if I understand this.

SHE WANTS NOTHING...
NOTHING...

NOTHING AT ALL,
NOTHING AT ALL.

THE-THE DAUGHTER THAT
SHE GAVE UP AT BIRTH?

RIGHT.

She wants nothing
to do with her?

Nothing.

THEN I WOULD HAVE TO KILL HER.

Marie:
DENISE...

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?

Donny:
Wait, I'm serious.

WELL, SO AM I.

OH, PLEASE...

THIS FROM A WOMAN
WHO'S NEVER SERIOUS?

I'M EATING CHOCOLATE.

I JUST... I JUST DON'T THINK
I WOULD HAVE ANY OTHER CHOICE.

I WOULD HAVE TO TRACK HER DOWN
AND KILL HER.

AND THEN YOU WILL LEAVE ME
ALONE.

Donny:
We'll be right back right
after this commercial break.

Stay right with us.

Marie:
You're scaring me.

Denise:
I know.

HEY, MARK!

YEAH?

HEY, I'M GLAD I CAUGHT YOU.

WHICH ONE OF THESE JACKETS

MAKES ME LOOK MORE
LIKE A DOCTOR?

THIS ONE.

THIS ONE.

WHICH ONE OF THESE MAKE
ME LOOK MORE MATURE?

JESSE, I'D LIKE TO HELP YOU.

I'VE GOT TO BE SOMEWHERE IN 20
MINUTES, AND WITH THIS TRAFFIC

I'M NOT LIKELY TO GET OUT
OF THE GARAGE BY THEN.

ME, TOO. I GOT TO GO
PICK UP MY MOM

AT THE AIRPORT IN AN HOUR.

YOUR MOM?!

YOU MUST BE THRILLED
SHE'S COMING TO SEE YOU!

AND GETTING BACK
TO THE JACKETS...

JUST OFF THE TOP
OF YOUR HEAD...

I THINK YOU
SHOULD WEAR

THE ONE YOU LIKE THE BEST.

AND JESSE, TRUST ME.

OH.

THANKS A LOT.

YOU KNOW, JESSE,
I DON'T THINK

YOUR MOTHER'S GOING
TO CARE WHAT YOU WEAR.

SHE'S GOING TO BE
SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU.

YOU DON'T KNOW MY MOM.

SHE CAN BE VERY...

OPINIONATED.

SHE'S A LITTLE BOSSY.

AND SHE GETS WHAT SHE WANTS
BY BEING REALLY, REALLY...

NICE.

OH, HOW TERRIBLE.

WEAR THE BLUE ONE.

YEAH...

I'M LATE.

And welcome back to
The Denise Steiner Show.

I am Denise Steiner
and this is my show

and don't you forget it.

AND REMEMBER, JUST BECAUSE
I'M CONSERVATIVE, PEOPLE

DOESN'T MEAN I AM NOT
A SEXY, SEXY GIRLY THING.

Man:
♪ Oh, baby, you're so fine...

LOOK WHO'S JUST

WALKED INTO THE STUDIO:

MY DOCTOR AND OUR GUEST
FOR THE NEXT HOUR...

DR. MARK SLOAN.

BEFORE WE GO TO COMMERCIAL

I JUST WANT TO PUT OUT ONE LAST
PLEA FOR INFORMATION ON...

God-like voice:
The search
for Denise Steiner's mom.

IF YOU GAVE BIRTH TO ME,
GIVE ME A CALL HERE, WILL YOU?

AT 1-800-555-BABY.

AND NOW, HERE'S A WORD
FROM THE PEOPLE

WHO HELP ME PAY
MY EXORBITANT RENT.

HEY, SORRY I'M LATE.

I WAS AFRAID YOU WEREN'T
GOING TO SHOW UP.

HEY!

HELLO, HELLO,
BOTH OF YOU!

STEVE, THIS
IS FABULOUS!

MANDO, WE NEED

ANOTHER SET
OF HEADPHONES.

OH, NO, I'M JUST HERE
FOR THE MORAL SUPPORT
OF MY FATHER.

BUT YOU AT YOU.
YOU LOOK GREAT!

OH, BIG COMPLIMENT.

THE LAST TIME YOU SAW ME
I WAS 12 AND HAD BRACES.

I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU.
LOOK AT THIS.

YOU'RE OUT IN L.A.,
YOU GOT YOUR OWN

TALK SHOW...

WE'RE BACK IN TEN.

OH! OKAY. WHY DON'T YOU GUYS

TAKE A SEAT,
BE COMFORTABLE...

WE'LL START.

DON'T FORGET YOUR HEADSETS,
GUYS.

Denise:
OKAY, WE ARE BACK

WITH THE HANDSOME
AND DEBONAIR

DR. MARK SLOAN, UH, WHO HAS
WORKED WITH THE L.A.P.D.

IN CATCHING MANY DASTARDLY
CRIMINALS, RIGHT?

SO, UM, TELL
OUR LOYAL LISTENERS:

HOW DID YOU GET INVOLVED
IN MURDER AND MAYHEM?

WELL, DENISE, AS YOU KNOW

MY, UH, MY SON IS
A HOMICIDE DETECTIVE.

YES, I DO KNOW THAT.

AND GORGEOUS, I MIGHT ADD.

IN FACT, I'M SERIOUSLY
THINKING ABOUT

COMMITTING A CRIME

JUST SO HE'LL HANDCUFF ME.

UM, SO, TELL ME,
WHAT IS YOUR SECRET?

HOW DO YOU GO ABOUT
CATCHING A CRIMINAL?

WELL, YOU KNOW, SOLVING A CRIME

IS VERY MUCH LIKE MAKING
A MEDICAL DIAGNOSIS.

YOU... LOOK FOR EVIDENCE,
OF COURSE, AND YOU TRY TO PUT

ALL THE CLUES TOGETHER.

THEN YOU GO THROUGH
THE PROCESS

OF SORTING OUT THINGS

THAT DON'T SEEM TO FIT.

AND IF YOU'RE LUCKY
YOU'VE GOT YOURSELF A DISEASE...

OR A MURDERER.

OH. I USUALLY RELY ON DATING
TO DO THAT.

BEFORE WE GET INTO YOUR
MOSTLY IMAGINARY LOVE LIFE...

HEY...

THERE'S A CALL
ON LINE THREE.

SHE SAYS SHE'S YOUR MOTHER.

OH WOW, THIS OUGHT
TO BE GOOD.

YES, YOU ARE
ON THE AIR WITH

DENISE "I-WAS-ABANDONED-
AS-AN-INFANT" STEINER.

Denise?

YES? YOU HAVE 30 SECONDS TO
CONVINCE ME YOU'RE MY MOM.

READY, GO.

Oh, my, there's so much
I need to tell you.

SORRY, YOU LOSE.

OKAY, LET'S GET BACK TO
CHATTING WITH DR. SLOAN.

Mark:
Anyway, as I was saying,
I realize the only person

who possibly could have
committed that murder

WAS THE ONE PERSON
WHO NOT ONLY KNEW

WHERE ELISE ATE, BUT THAT SHE
WAS ALLERGIC TO PEANUTS.

AND THAT NARROWED THE LIST
OF SUSPECTS DOWN

HER SISTER.

I GUESS SOMETIMES IT PAYS
TO BE AN ONLY CHILD, HUH?

OH! JEN IS

TELLING ME TO WRAP IT UP.

WE'VE RUN OUT OF TIME.

DR. SLOAN, YOU
ARE FANTASTIC.

PROMISE ME
YOU'LL COME BACK.

WELL...

YOU HEARD HIM, FOLKS.
THANK YOU FOR LISTENING.

I AM DENISE STEINER,
THIS IS MY SHOW

AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT,
BECAUSE I AM...

God-like voice:
Denise Steiner,
the Mouth That Roared.

AND WE'RE OUT.

WHOO!

DOCTOR, YOU WERE GREAT.

NICE MEETING YOU.

YOU, TOO, MANDO.

I MEANT WHAT I SAID.

YOU WERE FANTASTIC.

YOU MAKE ANYBODY LOOK GREAT.

WELL, THANK YOU

FOR DOING THE SHOW.

YOU KNOW, I'M CURIOUS
ABOUT ONE THING.

YEAH?

YOU KNOW THAT LADY WHO SAID
SHE WAS YOUR MOTHER?

OH, YEAH, THE 175th
"I'M DENISE'S MOM" CALL?

YEAH. HOW DO YOU KNOW
SHE WAS A PHONY?

OH, I DON'T KNOW...
JUST A FEELING.

EXPLAIN IT TO HIM, STEVE.

WELL, I HAVE NO IDEA.

YOU DIDN'T LET HER
GET TWO WORDS OUT.

SHE JUST WANTED
HER 15 MINUTES OF FAME.

I PROMISE YOU, I WILL SEND HER
A "I'M DENISE'S MOM" T-SHIRT

AND SHE'LL BE A BIG CELEBRITY
IN HER GERIATRICS YOGA CLASS.

DR. SLOAN? HI!

STEPHANIE MILLER.

YOU PROBABLY RECOGNIZE ME

FROM ANY ONE OF MY FAILED
TV SHOWS.

YES, I THINK SO.

I JUST HEARD YOU
ON DENISE'S SHOW.

YOU WERE GREAT.

THANK YOU.

YOU KNOW, I COME ON
RIGHT AFTER DENISE.

BACK OFF. HE'S MINE.

FOLLOW ME, GENTLEMEN.

NICE TO MEET YOU.

THAT WOMAN GETS ON
MY LAST LITTLE NERVE.

HEY, HEY, HEY.

HEY.

YOU GOT A FAX FROM
THAT FAKEY MOTHER CALLER...

JOANNE LOMBARDI.

OH, NO. SEND IT TO LEGAL.

NO, YOU MIGHT WANT
TO TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.

SO, IS IT TRUE?

WELL, THE PART ABOUT
THE BIRTHMARK IS TRUE

AND I DID HAVE A HEART VALVE
PROBLEM...

IT WAS CORRECTED WHEN I WAS TWO,
BUT I HAD IT WHEN I WAS BORN.

THAT'S KIND OF WEIRD,
ISN'T IT?

I MEAN, HOW WOULD SHE KNOW
ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THAT?

UNLESS SHE... REALLY
IS YOUR MOM.

PLEASE.

GET REAL.

I MEAN, THIS IS JUST
SOMEONE WHO...

KNOWS I HAD A BIRTHMARK
AND A HEART VALVE PROBLEM

WHEN I WAS BORN.

I MEAN...

THERE MUST BE HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE
WHO KNOW THE TWO THINGS

I'VE NEVER TOLD ANYBODY
BEFORE IN MY LIFE.

YOU'VE NEVER TOLD
ANYBODY?

OH, WELL, EXCEPT FOR YOU,
OF COURSE.

AND RICKY HAWKINS,
MY FIFTH GRADE BOYFRIEND.

HAVE YOU BEEN TALKING, MANDO?

NO! I MEAN, EXCEPT FOR THAT
SMALL LITTLE TINY AD I PLACED

IN THAT L.A. MAGAZINE.

SO, ARE YOU GOING
TO GO AND SEE HER?

JESSE NEVER ONCE TOLD ME

WHAT A FANTASTIC HOSPITAL
THIS IS.

I MEAN, HONESTLY,
I'M SO IMPRESSED.

WELL, THANK YOU.
WE'RE PROUD OF IT.

WHAT YOU PEOPLE
ARE DOING HERE...

IT'S LIKE YOU'RE
A FIELD SURGEON.

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE REALLY
GETTING IN THERE

AND YOU'RE SAVING
PEOPLE'S LIVES.

YOU KNOW, I NEVER
THOUGHT OF IT THAT WAY

BUT I THINK
YOU'RE RIGHT.

WELL, OF COURSE, YOU KNOW,
MY OWN PRACTICE

IS IN A PRIVATE HOSPITAL.

YOU EARN A LOT
MORE MONEY

BUT YOU DON'T GET
ANYWHERE NEAR

THE CHALLENGING CASES.

"CHALLENGING" IS EXACTLY
HOW I WOULD DESCRIBE IT...

CHALLENGING AND REWARDING.

WELL, I'M SURE YOU'VE GOT GOOD
PENSION PLANS AND VACATION TIME.

OH, YES, OF COURSE.

AT ST. PAUL MEMORIAL

THEY MAKE US TAKE SIX WEEKS OFF
A YEAR.

SIX WEEKS?

THEY MAKE YOU?

OR THEY FINE US.

ISN'T THAT SILLY?

I REALLY WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT

TO DO WITH SIX OFF.

NO, ME, NEITHER.

OH, TRUST ME,
IT GETS OLD FAST.

I MEAN, GOING
TO THE OPERA...

TAKING TRIPS
TO EUROPE...

WRITING THOSE ARTICLES
FOR THE
A.M.A. JOURNAL...

OH, IT GETS OLD FAST.

EXACTLY.

EXACTLY.

YES?

I'M LOOKING FOR JOANNE LOMBARDI.

OH, MY GOD.

DENISE?

IT'S YOU...

OH, WAIT!

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

OH, LET ME LOOK AT YOU!

OH, MY GOD.

I... I CAN'T BELIEVE
IT'S REALLY YOU!

CAN I COME IN?

OH, YES!

I WAS 16, STILL
IN HIGH SCHOOL.

I WAS SO AFRAID.

IT WAS DIFFERENT BACK THEN.

I GUESS.

I MADE THIS FOR YOU
WHEN I WAS PREGNANT.

AND THEN I COULDN'T
GIVE IT TO YOU

BECAUSE I WAS SO ASHAMED.

OH, NO... PLEASE, DON'T.

THEY TOLD ME YOU WERE GOING
WITH A GOOD FAMILY.

I WAS.

I... I DID.

IT'S THE ONLY THING
THAT KEPT ME

FROM THE AWFUL PAIN
OF THINKING

I'D NEVER SEE YOU.

YOU DID THE RIGHT THING.

YEAH?

YEAH.

YOU WANT A CUP OF TEA?

YEAH.

OKAY, THAT WOULD BE NICE.

I HAVE A LOT OF
CATCHING UP TO DO.

YEAH.

Denise:
So I'm asking her, like,
a bazillion questions, right?

And she's answering
every single one of them.

SHE HAS ANSWERS FOR ALL OF THEM
AND I'M SITTING THERE

AND I AM TALKING TO HER
AND I'M THINKING

"OH, MY GOD, YOU HAVE MY NOSE!"

DO MY EARS DECEIVE ME?

THE CYNICAL DENISE STEINER
SENTIMENTAL?

EXCUSE ME. I AM PART-HUMAN.

OKAY, LET'S TAKE A CALL.

AND IT IS TARA.

YOU'RE ON
THE DENISE STEINER SHOW.

Woman:
I had a package delivered
to your studio.

Did you get it?

A PACKAGE?

HONEY, I GET A HUNDRED
PACKAGES A DAY...

ALL RIGHT, I GET

MAYBE ONE OR TWO...

OKAY, I DON'T ANY. WHAT?

I sent it overnight
marked "personal."

OKAY, I'LL LOOK.

UH... UH!

WELL, HERE IT IS.

IS THIS IT? YES.

IT'S ADDRESSED TO ME,
DENISE STEINER.

Open it.

YOU KNOW, BEFORE I DO,
I-I FEEL OBLIGATED, UH, TARA

TO ASK YOU
A QUESTION.

ARE YOU IN ANY WAY RELATED
TO THE UNABOMBER?

Just open the package.

OKAY!

EXCUSE ME, IN CASE YOU MISSED IT

THIS IS
THE DENISE STEINER SHOW

NOT
THE NASTY WOMAN CALLER SHOW.

I DECIDE WHAT I DO
AND WHAT I DON'T DO, OKAY?

HELLO? HELLO?

SHE HUNG UP!

SHE ACTUALLY HUNG UP

JUST AS I WAS GOING
TO BUCKET HER.

YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M GOING TO DO IT ANYWAY.

THIS IS FOR YOU, TARA.

Wicked Witch:
I'm melting! I'm melting!

All my beautiful wickedness!

UH, AND, UH, WE'LL BE
RIGHT BACK AFTER THIS.

Mando:
HEY, HEY, HEY.

WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE
IN COMMERCIAL.

DON'T ASK ME!

FIND THE NEWS
FROM OUTER SPACE TO RUN

IF SHE'S NOT BACK
BY THE END OF THE COMMERCIAL.

HEY, YO, DENISE!

JOANNE?

JOANNE!

JOANNE?

JOANNE?

HELLO?

OH. MY GOD.

JOANNE?

HI.

HI.

JEN CALLED ME.

EVERYBODY'S WORRIED
ABOUT YOU.

YOU ALL RIGHT?

YEAH. YEAH, FINE.

I JUST, UH,
HAD A ONE-DAY FLU.

I CAUGHT THE RADIO SHOW.

MET YOUR
BIRTH MOTHER?

YEAH.

WOULD THIS ONE-DAY FLU HAVE
ANYTHING TO DO WITH THAT?

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

SOMEONE SENT ME THIS.

SHE SOLD ME.

I WAS JUST MERCHANDISE.

ALL THAT TALK ABOUT
HOW SHE DIDN'T WANT
TO GIVE ME UP

AND HER PAIN WAS JUST...

WELL, THESE ARE JUST
NEWSPAPER ARTICLES.

ABOUT BUYING BABIES.

BUT IT HAS NOTHING
ABOUT YOU... OR HER.

NO, LOOK...
LOOK AT THIS NOTE.

"ONE OF THESE BABIES
WAS YOU.

ASK HER.
SHE'LL TELL YOU."

NOW, ANYONE COULD

HAVE WRITTEN THIS.

DID YOU TALK
TO HER ABOUT IT?

NO.

WHAT ABOUT YOUR
ADOPTIVE MOTHER?

DID YOU TALK TO HER?

OH, PLEASE.

I HAVEN'T TALKED
TO HER IN THREE YEARS.

UM, LOOK

I HAVE TO GET DRESSED.

I HAVE TO GO TO WORK.

HONEY, I'M NOT SURE
YOU'RE IN ANY SHAPE

TO GO TO WORK.

I HAVE TO.

I'LL CALL YOU LATER.
I PROMISE.

ALL RIGHT.

OKAY.

I'LL GIVE YOU A RIDE.

THAT WOULD BE GREAT.

THANK YOU.

Steve:
ALL RIGHT.

LET'S TRY THIS ONE MORE TIME.

FIRST, YOU SAID
THE WOMAN HAD SHORT,
DARK BROWN HAIR.

AND NOW YOU'RE SAYING
IT WAS LONG.

I DON'T LIKE THE WAY
THESE GIRLS CUT
THEIR HAIR THESE DAYS.

DO YOU?

I MEAN, I THINK
A WOMAN'S HAIR

IS HER
CROWNING GLORY.

WHY CHOP IT ALL OFF?

HER HAIR SHOULD BE LONG.

YES, WELL, YOU ARE CERTAINLY
ENTITLED TO YOUR OPINION

BUT I NEED TO KNOW

WHAT THE WOMAN'S HAIR
LOOKED LIKE IN REALITY.

CAN YOU TELL ME THAT?

IT SHOULD BE LONG.

ALL RIGHT, LOOK

MAYBE WE SHOULD
JUST GIVE THIS A REST.

UH, I'LL DRIVE YOU HOME.

WE CAN TRY TOMORROW.

OH, I'D LOVE TO

BUT I HAVE TO BE HOME BY 2:00
FOR
THE GUIDING LIGHT.

I USED TO BE IN PICTURES,
YOU KNOW.

THAT DOESN'T SURPRISE ME.

Denise:
SO TODAY'S TOPIC WILL BE

"PEOPLE WE RATHER SEE DEAD."

I WARNED LEGAL.

WE'RE BOUND TO GET SUED.

Grace:
I NEVER FORGET A FACE.

ANYONE WILL TELL YOU THAT.

OH, SOMETIMES
I FORGET SOMEONE'S NAME

SOMEONE I'VE KNOWN
40 YEARS, BUT A FACE...

OH, MY GOODNESS,
THERE SHE IS.

THE GIRL WHO RAN AWAY.

OVER THERE AT THE BUS STOP.

ARE YOU SURE?

Grace:
OH, THAT'S HER
ALL RIGHT.

I'D KNOW HER ANYWHERE.

THE ONE WITH THE BABY?

NO.

THAT'S HER
ON THE SIGN.

ON THE SIGN.

SO I KNOW THAT
YOU WERE ALL EXPECTING

MY VERY OWN
HONEST-TO-GOODNESS

BIRTH MOTHER TO BE
ON THE SHOW TODAY...

I'LL BE THERE AND MY DOG, TOO.

YEAH, WELL,
THAT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN

BECAUSE IT'S NOT A COLD DAY
IN HADES.

CAN I SAY THAT
ON THE AIR, JEN?
HADES?

BECAUSE THAT'S
WHERE

MY VERY OWN HONEST-TO-GOODNESS
BIRTH MOTHER APPEARS TO BE.

DID SHE TAKE
HER KIDNEY WITH HER?

WELL, SHE PROMISED TO MEET ME
AT THE STUDIO TODAY

BUT JUST LIKE THAT OTHER OH-SO-
IMPORTANT TIME IN MY LIFE...

YOU KNOW,
THE TIME OF MY BIRTH...

SHE SEEMS TO HAVE TAKEN
A POWDER, LADIES AND GENTLEMAN.

SO, I'M GOING
TO ASK YOU ALL A QUESTION.

HAVE YOU EVER COME
TO THE CONCLUSION

THAT SOMEONE NEAR AND DEAR
TO YOUR HEART

IS JUST... I DON'T KNOW,
BETTER OFF DEAD?

YOU'RE NOT TAKING ME, WARDEN.

AND NOW, WE'RE GOING TO GO
TO COMMERCIAL.

Mark:
STEVE?

I'M SORRY, DENISE,
BUT I'M HERE

TO ARREST YOU
FOR THE MURDER OF
JOANNE LOMBARDI.

MANDO, WILL YOU FINISH
OUT THE SHOW FOR ME?

Vicki:
YOU KNOW,
WHEN JESSE SAID

THAT HE WAS INVESTING
IN A BARBECUE PLACE

I THOUGHT HE WAS TALKING
ABOUT SOME BIG OLD RESTAURANT.

YOU KNOW,
UH, PART OF A CHAIN.

WELL, IT IS
SORT OF SMALL

BUT THE RIBS
ARE DELICIOUS.

UM-HMM.

WELL, UM, WHAT DO YOU CALL
THE DECOR HERE?

PRIMITIVE?

MRS. TRAVIS, JESSE'S
ACCOMPLISHED AN AWFUL LOT.

OH, I KNOW.

I'M REALLY VERY PROUD
OF HIM.

IN FACT...
I WAS GOING TO WAIT

BUT WHAT THE HECK.

I'M GOING
TO FOLLOW MY SON'S EXAMPLE

AND THROW CAUTION
TO THE WIND HERE.

ATTENTION.

I WOULD LIKE TO PROPOSE
A TOAST TO MY SON, JESSE

WHO LEFT THE FAMILY FOLD

AND FORGED
A WONDERFUL LIFE FOR HIMSELF

IN A STRANGE NEW LAND.

TO JESSE.

THANKS, MOM.

I'M TOUCHED.

AND I ALSO WANT TO MAKE
AN ANNOUNCEMENT.

NOW, UH...

I WAS GOING TO TALK TO YOU
ABOUT THIS ALONE

BUT SEEING YOU HERE

SURROUNDED BY ALL THESE
WONDERFUL PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU.

WELL, I WANTED
YOU ALL TO KNOW

THAT I AM OFFERING JESSE
A FULL PARTNERSHIP

IN MY PRACTICE
BACK IN MINNEAPOLIS/ST. PAUL.

Jesse:
MOM...

NOW, DON'T FORGET

THAT ALSO INCLUDES

A SIX-WEEK PAID VACATION
EVERY YEAR.

HUH?

NOW, OF COURSE

I DON'T EXPECT AN ANSWER
RIGHT AWAY

BUT I AM
CERTAINLY HOPING

THAT WHEN I GET BACK
ON THAT PLANE TO MINNESOTA

MY WONDERFUL, ACCOMPLISHED SON
WILL BE COMING WITH ME.

SO, A TOAST
TO THE FUTURE, HMM?

TO THE FUTURE.

ALL RIGHT, THIS DOESN'T
HAVE TO BE ALL BAD.

I COULD DO A REMOTE
BROADCAST FROM JAIL.

THINK OF THE RATINGS.

THEY AREN'T LETTING YOU
BACK ON THE AIR

UNTIL AFTER YOU'VE CLEARED
YOUR NAME.

THEY'RE GOING TO GIVE
STEPHANIE MILLER MY
TIME SLOT, AREN'T THEY?

THEY WANTED TO...

MY LIFE IS OVER.

BUT I CONVINCED THEM
TO LET MARK SLOAN FILL IN

FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS.

YOU DID?

MM-HMM.

YOU'RE A GODDESS.

THAT'S KNOWN.

DENISE...

I HAVE TO ASK...

I DIDN'T KILL HER.

I DIDN'T.

SO, WHY DID YOU RUN?

WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL
THE POLICE?

I DON'T KNOW.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT
I WAS THINKING.

ALL I KNOW IS THAT I SAID
ON NATIONAL TELEVISION

THAT I WOULD KILL HER, AND
THEN THERE SHE WAS, DEAD.

I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO.

I JUST RAN, AND THEN I THOUGHT

IF I SAID I HADN'T SEEN HER,
WHO WOULD KNOW?

HMM.

YOU'LL HELP MARK...

WITH MY SHOW?

HE'S A NATURAL.

Mark:
GOOD AFTERNOON

YOU'RE ON THE AIR
WITH DR. MAR...

NOT O... NOT ON THE AIR.

UH, WHAT... WH-WHAT...

THREE... FIND...

ARE WE ON NOW?

THAT WAS DUMB.

I'M SORRY.

I'M... OH.

SORRY.

UH, OKAY...

HELLO, Y-YOU'RE...

UM, WAIT A MINUTE.

I THINK I DISCONNECTED
THAT CALL.

UH, THAT'S A RECORD...

EIGHT IN A ROW.

OH, FINE.

HELLO DR. SLOAN.

HELLO... AM I IN THE AIR?

YOU'RE ON THE AIR.

UH...
I'M...
I'M...

CAN YOU HEAR ME?

WE'RE OUT OF TIME...

BUT PLEA... BE SURE
AND, UH, TUNE IN TOMORROW

UH, FROM 3:00 TO 7:00 FOR...

UH...

♪ The Stephanie Miller Show.

God-like voice:
This has been the Denise
Steiner, the Mouth That Roared.

THAT'S A WRAP.

GOOD SHOW, MARK.

THAT WAS A DISASTER.

HEY, DON'T WORRY.

EVERYBODY HAS AN OFF DAY...
ONCE IN A WHILE.

WELL, THERE IS SOME GOODNEWS.

THE STATION AGREED
TO POST DENISE'S BAIL, SO...

OH.

THEY JUST CALLED ME
WHILE YOU GUYS WERE ON THE AIR.

OH, THAT'S GREAT.

YOU KNOW, I WAS
JUST WONDERING

DO THEY TAPE THESE
INCOMING CALLS?

NO, WE TAPE OVER THEM.

W-WELL, NOT FOR A WEEK.

WHY?

WELL, YOU REMEMBER THOSE,
UH, NEWSPAPER ARTICLES

SENT IN BY THAT CALLER?

YEAH.

WELL, FORENSICS REPORTED

THAT ONLY MY FINGERPRINTS
AND DENISE'S FINGERPRINTS

WERE ON THERE.

WELL, YOU KNOW DENISE...

SHE'S GOT A MILLION
NUTBALL FANS...

CONSPIRACY WACKOS

WHO BELIEVE THEY'RE
BEING MONITORED

BY BLACK HELICOPTERS.

WELL, THEY PROBABLY
WEAR GLOVES 24/7.

YEAH, I SUPPOSE
THAT'S TRUE...

BUT YOU KNOW, IT
COULD BE A FRAME.

"A FRAME"?

WELL, YOU KNOW, THEY NEVER
FOUND A MURDER WEAPON.

YEAH, BUT LOTS OF
PEOPLE GET CONVICTED

WITHOUT A MURDER WEAPON.

YEAH... THAT USUALLY
DEPENDS ON THE STRENGTH

OF THE CIRCUMSTANTIAL
EVIDENCE, THOUGH.

WHAT I WAS THINKING IS

MAYBE I COULD LISTEN
TO THOSE TAPES.

I COULD FIND SOMETHING, YOU
KNOW, THAT'LL HELP DENISE.

WELL, I'LL-I'LL-I'LL FIND THEM
FOR YOU.

WELL, I'M GOING
TO TAKE OFF.

UH, I PROMISED DENISE

THAT I'D DROP BY SOME BOOKS
AND STUFF FROM HER PLACE.

- CATCH YOU LATER?
- YEAH.

Mando:
CATCH YOU TOMORROW?

UM, MANDO AND DENISE
GOOD FRIENDS, ARE THEY?

YEAH, THEY USED TO DATE.

YEAH, DENISE MET HIM
AT A STATION IN EL PASO.

SHE'S ACTUALLY THE ONE

WHO BROUGHT HIM HERE.

NO KIDDING.

SOMETIMES, I JUST WISH
THEY WOULD GET BACK TOGETHER

BECAUSE THEY ARE
SO MUCH NICER

THAN THE LOSERS
THEY EACH GO OUT WITH.

OH... TAPES.

YES, I'LL GET THEM
FOR YOU.

THANK YOU, JEN.

LIKE I KNOW WHICH.

"WELL-KNOWN SHOCK-JOCK
DENISE STEINER WILL BE ARRAIGNED

"ON CHARGES OF
FIRST-DEGREE MURDER

FOR THE HOMICIDE OF HER BIRTH
MOTHER, JOANNE LOMBARDI."

HOW DID THEY GET THIS
STUFF OUT SO FAST?!

I DO NOT KNOW.

I SHOULD HAVE
LOMBARDI'S AUTOPSY

FINISHED BY
EARLY AFTERNOON.

GREAT.

HER BROTHER'S REQUESTING
THAT WE SHIP HER BODY TO TEXAS.

TEXAS?

THAT'S WHERE
SHE'S FROM... EL PASO.

Steve:
DAD, I GOT YOUR PAGE.

HEY, AMANDA.

OH, STEVE, GOOD.
HAD THE TAPE ANALYZED.

WHAT TAPE?

REMEMBER THE WOMAN CALLER
WHO SENT THE NEWSPAPER

ARTICLES TO DENISE?

YEAH.

HAD A SOUND MAN RUN THROUGH IT.

GUESS WHAT HE FOUND?

NOTHING.

"NOTHING"?

I MEAN,
NO STRAY NOISES

NO AMBIENT SOUND OF ANY KIND.

YOU THINK THE CALL CAME
FROM A SOUND STUDIO SOMEWHERE?

IT COULD HAVE BEEN
IN THE RADIO STATION

WHICH WOULD NARROW
THE LIST OF THE SUSPECTS.

YEAH, POSSIBLY THE WOMEN
THAT WORK AT THE STATION.

IF SHE WAS FRAMED.

Mark:
I THINK THIS TAPE COMBINED WITH

THE FACT
THAT THERE WERE NO FINGERPRINTS

ON ANY OF THOSE NEWSPAPER
ARTICLES IS

A PRETTY GOOD CASE.

DAD, WE FOUND THE MURDER WEAPON

IN DENISE
STEINER'S HOUSE.

A WHITE HOUSE
LETTER OPENER.

WHICH WOULD BE CONSISTENT

WITH THE SIZE AND SHAPE
OF THE WOUNDS.

DENISE'S INITIALS WERE ON IT

AND THE LUMINOL TURNED UP
MICRO-TRACES

OF THE VICTIM'S BLOOD.

WHY WOULD SHE HOLD ON
TO THE ONE PIECE OF EVIDENCE

THAT COULD SEND HER TO JAIL?

WOULDN'T BE THE FIRST TIME

SOMEONE HELD ON
TO INCRIMINATING EVIDENCE.

YOU KNOW, I TELL
A COUPLE OF PEOPLE

THERE'S NO MURDER WEAPON

AND SUDDENLY,
IT MAGICALLY APPEARS.

STRIKE YOU AS

A LITTLE CONVENIENT?

COINCIDENTAL, BUT NOT RELEVANT.

DOES THIS SOUND RELEVANT TO YOU?

THAT ONE OF THE SUSPECTS
IS FROM EL PASO, TEXAS

WHERE THE VICTIM IS FROM?

DAD, LOTS OF PEOPLE
ARE FROM EL PASO.

DENISE LIVED THERE
HERSELF FOR A WHILE.

OH.

I'M SORRY, DAD.

I WANT TO BELIEVE HER, TOO.

CALL ME WHEN YOU GET
THE AUTOPSY REPORT?

YES.

SEE YA.

SEE YA.

WHERE WERE WE GOING.

STAFF MEETING,
FOURTH FLOOR.

STAFF MEETING.

JESSE...

HEY.

YOU ALL RIGHT?

YEAH, YEAH. I WAS JUST WAITING
TO TALK TO MARK.

WHAT?

OH, HE JUST LEFT.

HE WENT TO DO
THE DENISE STEINER SHOW

BUT HE'LL BE BACK
IN THE MORNING.

THAT'S GREAT

EXCEPT I HAVE TO GIVE
MY MOM AN ANSWER TONIGHT.

WHY DON'T YOU CALL
THE RADIO STATION?

THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.

AIR MY DIRTY LAUNDRY

IN FRONT OF THOUSANDS
OF STRANGERS.

IT WAS JUST A SUGGESTION.

LOOK, I REALLY DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO TELL YOU.

SEE YOU TOMORROW.

Mark:
ALL RIGHT, OUR TOPIC

FOR TODAY IS THIS:

"IF THERE'S ONE THING
YOU DID IN THE PAST

THAT YOU COULD GO BACK
AND CHANGE, WHAT WOULD IT BE?"

I SHOULD NAVE NEVER KEPT
THOSE TAPES

BECAUSE I AM
NOT A CROOK.

AND WE HAVE BILLY BOB
FROM DALLAS.

HELLO, YOU'RE ON THE AIR
WITH DR. SLOAN.

Hi, there, sir.

Uh, I wouldn't change anything
about my past, but I do have

a question about the future.

ALL RIGHT.

Uh, you see, my mama, she owns

a big ol' cattle ranch
in Oklahoma.

DR. Travis to radiology. Dr.
Travis to radiology.

UH, DO I KNOW YOU?

No.

ANYWAY, YOU SEE,
UH, SHE WANTS ME

TO COME ON BACK THERE
AND HELP HER RUN IT.

MM-HMM. AND WHAT DO YOU WANT
TO DO?

Well, see, I don't want

TO DISAPPOINT HER AND I DON'T
WANT TO HURT HER FEELINGS

AND I CERTAINLY DON'T WANT

TO MOVE BACK
TO OKLAHOMA NEITHER.

I UNDERSTAND.

SO WHAT SHOULD I DO?

WELL, OF COURSE, THAT'S
YOUR DECISION TO MAKE, BILLY BOB

BUT I CAN TELL YOU THIS.

IF YOU DO SOMETHING
THAT'S NOT RIGHT FOR YOU

YOU'LL REGRET IT, SWEETHEART.

MAYBE NOT TODAY,
MAYBE NOT TOMORROW

BUT SOMEDAY SOON.

And you'll regret it
for the rest of your life.

Amanda:
JESSE?

I GOT TO GO.

WHO WAS THAT?

THAT WAS NOBODY.

GOSH, LOOK AT THE TIME.

HEY, MOM.

SO, YOU'RE NOT COMING
BACK TO MINNESOTA

WITH ME, ARE YOU?

HOW'D YOU KNOW?

I HEARD YOU ON THE RADIO.

A "CATTLE RANCH"?

YOU KNEW THAT WAS ME?

I JUST WISH YOU'D COME OUT
AND TOLD ME

INSTEAD OF BROADCASTING IT
TO HALF A MILLION STRANGERS.

OKAY, LOOK, MOM...

I HAVE GOT A CAB WAITING.

I'M ON MY WAY
TO THE AIRPORT.

MA'AM, MA'AM, AN APPENDECTOMY
IS SOMETHING THAT DEFINITELY

SHOULD BE DONE
BY YOUR OWN PHYSICIAN.

D-OHH!

Mark:
THANK YOU.

AND THAT'S IT FOR...

GOOD SHOW, EVERYBODY

AND I MEAN IT
THIS TIME.

OKAY, I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.

HI!

GREAT SHOW.

I WAS JUST KIND
OF WONDERING

ARE YOU GOING
TO BE DOING THIS

ON A PERMANENT BASIS
BECAUSE...?

YOU CAN FORGET
THE TIME SLOT,
STEPHANIE.

DENISE IS COMING BACK.

OH, THAT'S GOOD NEWS THEN.

Mark: MANDO, ALL THOSE VOICES
YOU DO ARE GREAT.

YOUR FAMILY BACK IN EL PASO
MUST BE VERY PROUD OF YOU.

MY FAMILY'S IN
GUADALAJARA, MAN.
MEXICO.

OH, I WAS LOOKING
AT YOUR BIO

IN THE MANAGER'S OFFICE

AND I THOUGHT THAT
SAID "EL PASO."

WELL, BORN IN EL PASO,
BUT RAISED IN GUADALAJARA.

OH, I SEE.

I'LL SEE YOU.

MANDO, YOU REMEMBER
THAT TAPE JEN GAVE ME?

THE NASTY WOMAN CALLER.

YEAH, THAT'S THE ONE.

IT LOOKS LIKE
THAT CALL WAS MADE

FROM A SOUND STUDIO

AND I WAS JUST THINKING

ISN'T THERE AN
EMPTY SOUND STUDIO

AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE?

YEAH. YEAH,
THERE'S ONE...
FOLLOW ME.

GOOD.

SEE? SOMETIMES THEY
STORE STUFF IN HERE

BUT THAT'S ABOUT IT.

WELL, I SUPPOSE

ONE OF THE WOMEN
WHO WORKS HERE

COULD HAVE SLIPPED IN HERE
AND MADE THE PHONE CALL

BUT WHO?

AND WHAT WOULD BE
THE MOTIVE?

YOU KNOW, PEOPLE HAVE

THEIR LITTLE RESENTMENTS,
YOU KNOW?

LIKE WHAT?

OH, MAN, THIS IS HARD.

THESE PEOPLE ARE
LIKE FAMILY TO ME.

OH, SURE.
I UNDERSTAND.

BUT YOU KNOW,
SOMEBODY'S TRYING
TO FRAME DENISE.

WELL, IT COULD BE ANYONE
FROM THE STUDIO.

THE RECEPTIONIST... WHO KNOWS?

ANYBODY COULD HAVE SLIPPED
IN HERE

AND MADE THAT PHONE CALL.

YEAH.

YOU KNOW, THERE IS
ONE LITTLE PROBLEM.

THERE'S NO PHONE IN HERE.

SLOAN.

OH, THAT'S GREAT NEWS.

YEAH. I'LL MEET YOU
AT THE HOSPITAL.

DENISE IS OUT ON BAIL.

OH, GREAT. GREAT.

SOMEBODY COULD HAVE USED
A CELL PHONE IN HERE.

YEAH.

DO YOU HAVE A CELL PHONE
BY ANY CHANCE?

YEAH. DOESN'T EVERYBODY?

YEAH, I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT.

EVERYBODY DOES.

OKAY.

THANKS A LOT, MANDO.

ALL RIGHT.

HI.

HI.

I'M GLAD TO SEE YOU.

YOU ALL RIGHT?

YEAH, I'M FINE.

I'M JUST, YOU KNOW,
THRILLED TO BE OUT
OF THERE.

SO, MY LAWYER TELLS ME THEY HAVE
A BOGUS CASE AGAINST ME, YES?

I THINK THEY'VE GOT
A PRETTY SOLID CASE

BUT I HAVE A HUNCH
THAT MIGHT HELP US.

WHAT?

CAN YOU THINK OF ANY REASON

THAT MANDO WOULD WANT
TO KILL JOANNE?

MANDO?

NO.

MY GOD.

I MEAN, JOANNE WAS MY MOTHER.

HE KNOWS HOW MUCH
I WANTED TO FIND HER.

HE WOULDN'T NEVER DO
SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

HE-HE LOVED ME.

HE ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM.

OH.

YOU TURNED HIM DOWN?

Amanda:
EXCUSE ME, MARK

I NEED TO TALK TO YOU
ABOUT THE AUTOPSY.

AMANDA, THIS IS
DENISE STEINER.

DENISE, THIS IS
DR. AMANDA BENTLEY.

HI.

HI.

JOANNE LOMBARDI'S AUTOPSY?

YES, DENISE

I'M TERRIBLY SORRY, BUT JOANNE
LOMBARDI WAS NOT YOUR MOTHER.

IN FACT, SHE WASN'T
ANYBODY'S MOTHER.

SHE'S NEVER GIVEN BIRTH.

AND MY GUESS IS MANDO KNEW THAT
THAT THE WHOLE TIME.

HELLO?

YEAH, DAD, I TALKED
TO MY BUDDY AT I.N.S.

YOU WERE RIGHT.

YEAH?

Mando Areago's family was

DEPORTED FROM EL PASO, TEXAS,
BACK TO MEXICO.

MRS. AREAGO, HIS MOTHER,
DIED THERE.

YOU WANT TO TAKE A GUESS

at who turned them in?

JOANNE LOMBARDI?

Yep.

I WAS AFRAID OF THAT.

Yeah, well, there's more.

WHEN SHE TURNED IN
THE AREAGO FAMILY

SHE ALSO REPORTED

ALMOST A HUNDRED
UNDOCUMENTED WORKERS.

A HUNDRED?

She was working for a man

running for state
representative.

GOT HIM ELECTED.

APPARENTLY, A LOT OF PEOPLE
SWORE THEY'D GET EVEN WITH HER.

MY GUESS IS THAT'S WHY
SHE EVENTUALLY LEFT THE STATE.

I SEE.

THANKS, STEVE.

I'M AFRAID IT'S MANDO.

OH, NO...

OH, NO.

ON MY 18th BIRTHDAY, I
HAD A FIGHT WITH MY MOM.

MY REAL MOM,
THE ONE WHO RAISED ME.

I, UH... I TOLD HER
SHE WASN'T MY MOM.

I YELLED AT HER

AND THEN I RAN OUT DOOR

BEFORE I EVEN BLEW OUT
THE CANDLES ON MY CAKE.

I CAN SEE
HOW THAT COULD HAPPEN.

SHE SAID SHE GOT OVER IT.

WE NEVER REALLY DID,
EITHER ONE OF US.

I NEVER CELEBRATED

ANOTHER BIRTHDAY
WITH HER AGAIN.

IT WAS JUST TOO PAINFUL.

WELL, THEN I MET
JOANNE LOMBARDI

AND THERE I AM,
THINKING

"SHE'S THE ONE.

"SHE'S THE REAL ONE.

SHE'S GOT MY NOSE."

I MEAN, SHE'S
A COMPLETE STRANGER.

YET, I AM CONVINCED THAT, UH...

I DON'T KNOW, BLOOD IS THICKER
THAN CHICKEN SOUP, I GUESS.

YOU SEE, WE BELIEVE
WHAT WE WANT TO BELIEVE.

WELL, I CAN'T HELP THINKING,
IF I HADN'T MADE

SUCH A BIG DEAL
OUT OF FINDING MY BIRTH MOTHER...

ADVERTISED ON NATIONAL RADIO...

MAYBE JOANNE LOMBARDI
WOULD BE ALIVE TODAY.

HONEY, YOU
DIDN'T KILL HER.

MAYBE I HELPED.

WHY DON'T YOU
GET SOME SLEEP?

I'VE GOT TO GET
HOME TO MY KIDS.

AND THANK YOU FOR THE TEA.

DENISE, YOU MIGHT THINK
ABOUT CALLING YOUR MOM

AND TELLING HER
WHAT YOU JUST TOLD ME.

GOOD NIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT.

Jesse:
HI, MOM.

ARE YOU THERE?

THIS IS JESSE.

CAN YOU PICK UP?

MOM?

OKAY, UH, LOOK, I'M...
I'M SORRY THAT YOU LEFT

WITHOUT GIVING US
A CHANCE TO, UH... TO TALK.

I, UH... I'M SURE
YOU'RE DISAPPOINTED.

UM, BUT I JUST WANTED YOU
TO KNOW THAT, UH...

I LOVE YOU, AND THAT I AM GOING
TO STAY HERE IN L.A.

THIS IS WHERE MY CAREER IS.

MY, UH... MY LIFE IS HERE.

UM, BUT I DO LOVE YOU

AND, UM, I GUESS, HOW YOU FEEL
ABOUT ME IS UP TO YOU.

OKAY.

UM, BYE.

Mark:
I hope we've been some help
with your problem.

ANY ONE ELSE OUT THERE
THAT HAS ANY INFORMATION

ON MALE-PATTERN BALDNESS,
GIVE US A CALL.

AND WE'LL BE BACK
RIGHT AFTER THIS.

LISTEN, I JUST GOT
THIS AUDITION

FOR THIS HUGE NATIONAL SPOT

BUT THEY NEED TO SEE ME
LIKE FIVE MINUTES AGO.

I KNOW IT'S
AN IMPOSITION, BUT...

NO. GO.
20 MINUTES LEFT ON THIS SHOW.

I'LL BE FINE.

ALL RIGHT.
YOU'RE THE GREATEST, DOC.

JEN, SEE YOU.

Man:
Mando Areaga. You're next.

HI.

Mando, I loved
your audition tape, baby.

HEY, THANKS.

Yeah, the commercial's animated

so we want to play around with
a bunch of different voices.

Okay with you?

COOL, BABE.
THAT'S WHAT I DO.

All right. Good.

Let's start with an accent.

Uh, maybe
like Hispanic or whatever.

Okay with you, babe?

JUST OPEN THE PACKAGE
AND A-SMALL THE MIGHTY AROMA.

That's great.

Let's try...
This is wild.

If you can't do it,
don't worry about it.

But how about...
how about same accent

only this time we're a female.

JUST OPEN THE PACKAGE AND JUST
SMELL THE MIGHTY AROMA.

Oh, that's fantastic.

Really good.

How about same voice, no accent?

You know, "No accento,"
as they say.

JUST OPEN THE PACKAGE
AND SMELL THE MIGHTY AROMA.

Hmm. How about
with a little edge of anger?

JUST OPEN THE PACKAGE
AND SMELL THE MIGHTY AROMA.

ALL right, more anger.

JUST OPEN THE PACKAGE
AND SMELL THE MIGHTY AROMA.

Hey, I think that's the one.

Let's, uh... Let's play it back.

Just open the package
and smell the mighty aroma.

YOU KNOW, I THINK WE HAVE
THAT VOICE ALREADY ON TAPE.

Just open the package.

WE GOT IT FROM
THE RADIO STATION.

YOU PRETTY NEARLY
CARRIED IT OFF.

I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

WE'RE TALKING
ABOUT A KID

WHO BLAMED
JOANNE LOMBARDI

FOR THE DEATH
OF HIS MOTHER.

YOU'VE ALWAYS THOUGHT
SHE WOULDN'T HAVE DIED

IF SHE HADN'T GONE
BACK, HAVEN'T YOU?

THIS... THIS IS CRAZY.

SO YOU TRACKED HER DOWN
AND STARTED THREATENING HER.

N-NO. NO.

AT THE SAME TIME

THE WOMAN YOU LOVED DUMPED YOU

AND YOU JUST HAD TO GET EVEN.

THEN YOU CAME UP
WITH YOUR BRILLIANT PLAN.

IF YOU CAN JUST GET JOANNE
TO IMPERSONATE DENISE'S MOTHER

YOU CAN KILL
TWO BIRDS
WITH ONE STONE.

JOANNE WENT ALONG
WITH YOU JUST
TO GET YOU

TO LEAVE HER ALONE.

SHE HAD NO WAY OF KNOWING

YOU WERE GOING
TO KILL HER.

HOW COULD YOU
DO THAT, MANDO?

I WANTED YOU.

I LOVED YOU.

Officer:
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT
TO REMAIN SILENT.

ANYTHING YOU SAY CAN
AND WILL BE USED AGAINST YOU...

The Denise Steiner show. Mouth
that roars.

This is Denise Steiner,
and I am out of the slammer

AND I COULD NOT BE HAPPIER
TO BE BACK ON THE AIR

BEING ABUSED
BY MY CALLERS, OF COURSE

AFTER MY CUSHY STAY
AT THE COUNTY REST HOME.

AND, OF COURSE, I AM HERE

WITH MY DEAR, SWEET
DR. MARK SLOAN.

WHO IS MORE THAN HAPPY TO TURN
THE MICROPHONE BACK OVER TO YOU

WHERE IT BELONGS.

THANK YOU.

YO, BONES, GOT A CALL FOR YOU.
LINE TWO.

"BONES"? THAT'S ME.

WELL.

HELLO, YOU'RE ON THE AIR
WITH DR. MARK SLOAN.

Woman:
Uh, Dr. Sloan,
I want to thank you

for a call
you took the other day.

Uh, with my son?

What you said to him

about living his own life...
Well, after that call

he stood up for himself to me.

MAYBE FOR THE FIRST TIME.

I want to tell him
I'm proud of him.

AND I LOVE HIM, TOO.

WOW.

THAT IS SO SWEET.

THAT IS
SO SWEET.

AND WELL, Y'ALL
KNOW WHAT I THINK

OF SENTIMENTAL CLAPTRAP.

MAN, I AM GONE A WEEK.

I WAS ONLY GONE A WEEK

AND THE SACCHARIN SQUAD
TAKES OVER.

OH, SPEAKING OF THAT, DENISE, WE
HAVE A LITTLE SURPRISE FOR YOU.

REALLY?

♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR DENISE

♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.

WELL, THAT IS
INCREDIBLY THOUGHTFUL.

THEY BROUGHT ME A CAKE.

UH, BUT COMPLETELY MISGUIDED,
BECAUSE, IN CASE YOU FORGOT

MY BIRTHDAY
ISN'T UNTIL NEXT AUGUST.

YEAH, WELL WE KNOW THAT,
BUT, YOU KNOW

IT KIND OF IS YOUR BIRTHDAY,
BECAUSE, WELL...

MOM?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HONEY.

MOM!

OH, MY...

OH, MY GOD.

YOU CALLED MY MOM?

SOMEBODY HAD TO.

UH, FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO
DON'T HAVE TELEVISION SIMULCAST

WHICH I GUESS IS
ABOUT EVERYBODY...

UH, DENISE STEINER

THE "MOUTH THAT ROARED,"
IS NOW HUGGING THE WOMAN

WHO ADOPTED HER, RAISED HER

AND WHO SHE THOUGHT
SHE WOULD NEVER SEE AGAIN.

DENISE

BLOW OUT YOUR CANDLES.